Note: Right after the events of "Alone at Sea"; two days after "Monster Reunion"
No business today.
Uma discerned as much the moment her eyes caught the grey bulging cumulus overhead. In which case, best to close shop before the wind kicked in. Amber left a few minutes ago on an errand with Pearl; Kurtis had classes at this time; and Marcus was on the phone talking with a supplier, meaning Uma had the task of closing early alone.
No matter. She never minded having time to herself.
Pulling a stool to the display window to switch the sign to 'Closed', Uma paused in the middle of flipping once she noticed a familiar blue person cradled below the window, formerly out of the elderly lady's sight. How long the water Gem been out here was anyone's guess. Without hesitation, Uma returned to ground-level and approached the front door, concerned and a tad curious.
The tinkle of the bell grabbed the cradled alien's attention. Uma took one look at her and Lapis returned an empty one back. When the former retreated instantly, the latter sighed as though not surprised at all and returned to huddling her face in her knees—until a navy blue Sampaguita quilt depicting a night sky full of golden stars and moons draped around her shoulders.
As the watery rock looked back again, Uma finished adjusting the adornment and stood a close yet respectful distance away with hands clasped in front, patient. Shaking her head, Lapis willed herself to speak, voice feeble yet audible enough to hear.
"Is Amber home?"
With an apologetic frown, Uma shook her head. "She said not to expect her back until late evening."
Oh wonderful, wonderful timing. Lapis could only sigh. As usual her luck kept getting worse. She huddled the blanket more around her and murmured, "What am I even doing here?"
Every time she visited this place, she only stayed long enough to talk to Amber and forewent any attempt to interact with the molehog's family beyond awkward one-sentence answers. Not that she had anything against humans specifically, but she never had to deal with a species Homeworld taught her to treat as inferior. That and she had always been a bit of an introvert. Months spent as a hate-induced fusion never does one's social skills much good either.
Uma, blinking, stroked her chin in a way that somehow came off as genuine instead of teasing. "Good question. Whatever the reason, in there has to be more comfortable than out here."
Lapis wanted to argue yet could not will herself. In fact she couldn't bring herself to pull away either when Uma took her hand, helping the Gem stand up, then gently guided her into the store. Like a despondent fish in an ocean current, the hydromancer tagged along for the ride.
All while her mind continued to drown.
I thought I was a brute, but you. You're a monster!
LET'S BE MALACHITE AGAIN!
I was wrong about fusion. You made me understand!
It'll be better this time! I've changed! You've changed me!
Changed me. Changed me, changed me. Changed-me-changed-me-change-change-change-change—
Tinkling alerted her to the sound of a cup trembling from the sepia liquid inside it, clank-clank against the surface of a table somehow in front of her. When had she—oh, she found herself sitting on the red sofa now, Uma calmly drinking tea beside her. Out of embarrassment, Lapis undid her fetal position and stared at Amber's necklace, there over the fireplace like usual, to avoid eye-contact with the old woman.
Eventually, she tired of this endeavor and grabbed her cup, feeling the lukewarm liquid, but made no move to sip. Only stared down into the forlorn reflection whose face revealed nothing more than the desire to teleport someplace far away, far away enough so she'd never need fear hurting anyone ever again.
Minutes passed in heavy silence.
At last Lapis spoke faintly and calmly, figuring she had nothing to lose. "I went on a boat with Steven and his dad. It was a little fun."
Uma set her own drink down with a smile-studded nod. "A little's better than nothing."
"I tried to enjoy myself. I really did, but it's hard when you've messed up the way I have."
Uma nodded again, silent this time. Lapis wished she did say something to at least fill the quiet. Anything to distract from—the tea in her cup suddenly started to slosh again despite her hands remaining still. A hand on her back made her stiffen at first but then she and her tea relaxed once she remembered her surroundings.
She wasn't back there. The one touching her wasn't her.
Eyes closed, the blue rock inhaled. "Someone came back for me. They wanted to f...get back together with me. I...," her breath clinched, "I almost said yes even when I remembered how horrible it felt to be with them. Being together meant I had someone to take all my anger out on...and I missed all of that."
Good people shouldn't feel that way, right? Good people knew better than to keep thinking that way, right? Wasn't that all the more proof of how rotten to the core Lapis truly was?
But you said no to her, remember? You even told her how unhealthy being Malachite was. Would a bad person have said any of that?
Lapis bit her lip, unnerved by how much her inner voice sounded like Steven. Her eyes reopened, angled at the TV yet staring off at a distance miles beyond it. Staring off perhaps for her other self. "Is it wrong that I still feel sorry for them? Do I even deserve to feel that way? All I did was hurt them."
That same hand started rubbing circles just shy of the gemstone.
"It's good that we feel concern for them," Uma finally replied, voice thick with an emotion Lapis swore she recognized yet could not pin down. "It means we haven't lost our ability to feel for others. I still care about my family and you sound like you still care about Steven."
Lapis shot the old woman an incredulous stare. "Of course I care about him! Jasper was about to kill him!" She slapped a hand over her mouth. Uma remained unfazed, still calm and supportive as though the outburst never happened. The blue Gem turned away with a mortified blush. "Why am I even telling you this?"
Humans couldn't even fuse. But Lapis didn't want to heap this mess on top of Steven; he'd been through enough today because of it, because of her. And Peridot, annoying as she could be, didn't deserve that either after all the pains she took to make Lapis feel welcome at the barn. Besides, as much as she loved the former and was begrudgingly starting to like the latter, she doubted they'd give her grievances their full attention.
Because that's what Lapis needed right now, someone to listen to her. Not prove her wrong or comfort her, just listen—and Amber always excelled at that.
A careworn sigh echoed beside the Gem as she felt the hand once again leave her. Lapis had half a mind to just apologize and leave, feeling like she wasted enough of this human's time with her sob story, until Uma's voice stopped her, once again laden with that familiar yet unnamable feeling.
"It's hard to let go."
Clink.
When Lapis shifted her gaze at the sound, Uma had set the teacup down on the table and now had her hands in her lap, face blank and eyes focused on the TV as well in that same distant gaze.
"Albert was never the gentlest man," she cradled her right wrist in a subconscious manner, a detail Lapis couldn't help but notice, "Not the most open-minded either. He could never stand anyone who isn't a member of our tribe. He's even worse if you're mixed. He never let Kurtis forget that."
'Mixed'? Lapis furrowed her brows at the term. "Are you saying Kurtis is like a cross-gem fusion?"
The Flores matriarch hummed, thoughtful. "I suppose you could say he is. More of a fusion between two different worlds, a fact Albert never let him forget." Her speaking started to slow. "Kurtis and I...saw him again a few days ago. I'd hoped that," her voice gave off the slightest tremor, "that he'd changed his mind and turned his attitude around, try to make up for his mistakes."
Lapis could already tell the direction of this story. Gently and slowly she asked, "Did he try to convince you to take him back?"
Uma sighed. "I wanted to say yes. So, so very badly. Even after what I put him through, what he put me through...what we put everyone through...a part of me still softens at the thought of him."
"But then you remembered what you did to each other."
"And I rejected him, so he tried to take his anger out on Kurtis instead."
Though not all that close to Kurtis, Lapis tensed at the thought of Amber's boy getting attacked. She could only imagine how the yellow Gem would have reacted had she'd been there. "Did you punch him into the sky?"
Despite herself, Uma managed a weak chuckle. "No. Kurtis punched him. I was such a wreck that night from realizing the truth...that no matter what, Albert and I could never move past our misdeeds. In a way it was a relief as well. My dear nuxwis reminded me why we're better off apart. And he always will."
"All you have to do is think about him," Lapis finished with a faint yet genuine smile even as she looked away again.
A comfortable silence hung between the two ladies, easier to breathe, the burden still there yet no longer as prominent.
Lapis twiddled her thumbs in a moment of shyness. "Is it okay if I stay a little longer?" She didn't feel ready to return to the barn yet.
Uma waved a dismissive hand. "Oh, it's no trouble, dear. Though you may want to call your friends so they know where you are and don't worry themselves silly."
Lapis nodded in agreement and stood up to do so. She forgot her phone back at the barn, but managed to memorize Steven's cell phone number. Her feet barely got three steps in before Marcus stuck his head from around the corner, dark eyes wide at the sight of the cerulean alien.
"Ah geez, Uma, why didn't you tell me we had a guest over?! I would have finished the order earlier if I knew!"
One could almost hear Uma's eyes roll. "Visitors over business? I'm amazed the shop's stayed afloat with you in charge for this long."
"Oh c'mon," Marcus retorted as he wheeled his way into the living room, "I am just trying to be a good host."
"And an apparently ineffective shopkeeper." She put a hand to her chest in faux woe. "Letting an old woman close shop on her own, too!"
"Oh woman, don't you start with me on that!"
At all of this silliness, Lapis stifled a chuckle but maintained her smile.
Her day didn't have to end on a sour note after all.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Pearl and Amber suspected Jasper would have preferred the same.
Together the two Gems and Lion stood in a forested clearing with mountains in the near distance, and gazed into a massive Quartz-sized indentation in the ground two feet before them.
"Are you sure this is the spot they mentioned?"
Amber turned to the carnation cat, whose eyes betrayed none of his seriousness. She nodded back at Pearl.
Pearl sighed. "We can investigate the area more, see where she went, but it would help if the Ambers here cooperated with us," her Alice-blue eyes caught the distant lights in the distance just before they flickered away into the arboreal darkness. She set her hands akimbo in exasperation. "You said they never acted this distant when you went through this region before, right? I wonder why."
Then again, Amber never went through this region with any of the Crystal Gems either—or as far as Pearl and the others knew at least. Did the denizens here not trust her enough now that she involved herself with her old comrades? That reason in itself made no sense since a good number of them had been—
Pearl shook her head. No, speculation would not produce any results, especially with more concrete matters like Jasper at hand. Still, she and Amber would do well to share this finding with the others.
"Anyway, we at least have the materials you and Peridot requested at least. We'll tell the others back at the temple about Jasper."
The two Gems hopped aboard Lion and braced themselves as the great beast roared a portal to life.
Just before they jumped in, though, Amber looked back at the forest with narrowed eyes and mouthed the name of the Gem likely responsible for the strange behavior of the others.
Rose.