Note: Takes place the day after the events of "Steven vs Amethyst"; two days after "Gem Hunt" and "Crack the Whip"; six days after "Greg the Babysitter"
Connie knew anxiety. More than she wished she did.
Social events, team projects, school exams, and (much to her dismay) Gem missions. Even after all the time she's spent with Steven and the Crystal Gems, her unease still found ways to resurface and rear its ugly head.
Revelations about her babysitter's pet hadn't helped much either. Imagine the paradox of facing your first monster, ready to pierce rose-colored metal into its body, only for the vision of a tiny yellow dog sleeping before a fireplace to flash across your eyes, halting you in mid-swing and leaving you open to attack.
And that's barring the fact that like this so-called dog, the monster you're aiming for is a person suffering from a damaged mind.
Not fun.
At least she hadn't choked as badly during her, Amethyst, Steven, and Lion's fight with Jasper and her corrupted 'soldiers'. That she considered progress.
Seated upon the lowest row of seats at the 'redecorated' Sky Arena, Connie sighed calmly. Pearl had to cancel today's lesson after Garnet suspected via Future Vision where Jasper might be, and assured that she'll make up for the missed practice after the elusive Quartz's capture.
The damage Steven and Amethyst incurred on the arena for their recent competition might have had something to do with that decision, too.
Never one for letting her mind idle, Connie had tried practicing her moves with the practice sword for a bit. Wise use of her time, but extremely boring when you have nobody to spar with, let alone someone to cheer you on from the sidelines.
Besides, Steven and Amber couldn't join her today—not that Connie could blame them...
Plunk.
Her eyes shifted at the soft sound of a water bottle posited to her left. She already guessed the person responsible before the beefy figure with a tied ponytail crossed her vision and took a seat to her right. Connie suddenly realized the cookie-filled Tupperware box now in her lap.
"Pops made them."
The young girl smiled as she took out one of the freshly made treats. "Thanks."
A moment filled with the sound of munching and sipping pursued as Kurtis and Connie took their time watching the horizon slip away from the sun. The slightest furrow came to the younger human's face. "I had my first mission two days ago." A committal grunt echoed back, acknowledging her. "It didn't turn out as well as I hoped it would."
Without looking, Kurtis tapped the girl's temple with a forefinger. "Still alive."
Connie couldn't restrain her dry half-smile. That was a hard plus to argue against. She pulled up her left sleeve to inspect the red ribbon tied around her left wrist, a memento of Kurtis from just before she departed with Steven and Pearl that morning to the frozen north.
When she inquired about it, he merely replied, "So they don't waste time identifying your body."
Most people would have cringed at the cold comfort; Connie had hugged his neck tight.
Smiling at the memory, she stared off at the clouds for a moment to reflect on her thoughts. "Hey Kurtis? What should you do when you're being too hard on yourself?"
Kurtis turned to his little sister-figure with a soft expression. "Stop thinking too much." Something he knew the girl was almost notorious for. Yeah, she had a ton of expectations to live up to and her training to fall back on, but she still tended to over-analyze at times. "You have to be flexible in battle."
For some reason, Connie started giggling quietly, but toned it down at Kurt's questioning stare. "You sound a lot like Amethyst. She showed back up at the temple yesterday morning while Amber was watching me and Steven train and Garnet and Pearl were looking for Jasper. She told us how there's no time to think during a fight, that you have to be loose."
That sounded like Amethyst alright—not just the advice, but the 'popping out of nowhere' shtick, too. Kurtis could only imagine the earful Pearl and Garnet were going to give her once they met back up again. His musing cut off at the concerned light in Connie's downward eyes and the way she wrung her hands.
"I'm asking because Steven told me Amethyst hasn't been feeling well after that fight on the beach. She thinks we didn't need her just because Stevonnie drove Jasper away without her help."
Well shit. They were going to need more than cookies to quell that. Kurtis pursed his lips as he considered the best course of action.
Eventually, a deep sigh escaped him as he stood up, as did Connie. "Let's check up on her," they somehow stated at the same time. The two stared at each other in surprise before Kurtis huffed good-naturedly and bowed like a gentleman, hand gesturing to the Warp Pad.
Connie put one hand to her chest and another towards the pad. "Sages before apprentices." The young girl earned a tousle to her hair for that return quip, one she took in stride as she joined her brother figure on the pad, box of cookies in hand. With a flick of the whistle, they returned to the beach house in seconds.
There they found Steven looking out the open right window overlooking the front porch, both the boy and the beach before him bathed in tangerine from the sunset. Connie and Kurtis shared a look before they approached.
"Hey Steven."
"Hmm," Steven perked at his best friend's voice and turned to face her with a smile, though this one seemed to be a little forced. "Oh, hey Connie! Hey Kurtis!"
"How are they doing?"
Steven pointed towards the beach. Coming to their friend's side and craning over the wooden railings, Connie and Kurtis narrowed their eyes at the small yellow and purple figures sprawled out supine on the sand in front of the house, far away enough for the three humans to hear without making the lavender Quartz feel smothered.
Steven caught Kurtis' questioning stare. "Amethyst called Amber for...," he put a hand to his chin and looked off to the side for a moment, "a therapy session, I guess? They don't have the big fancy chairs or ink blots like they do on TV, but Amber is letting Amethyst talk her feelings out."
"The key to effective therapy," Connie agreed with a nod.
Kurtis gently shushed the two kids just before Amethyst resumed her rant.
"I feel like I've let them all down! Not just the Quartzes like me, but other Gems like me, period! If I can't beat someone like Jasper the way I am," she threw her arms into the air, "how the hell can I be perfect the way I am?"
Dark eyes thoughtful, Amber whirled a clawed hand in circles, gesturing her 'patient' to elaborate.
"I mean, I-I know Rose wanted me to be more than a fighter, and I can get behind that. But," Amethyst placed a hand to her chest, "fighting's part of who I am, too, and if I'm not good enough to do even that...," then looked away with a sorrowful grimace, "am I good enough for anything else?"
Steven fought against the urge to yell out 'yes, you are!' He still cringed on her behalf. Connie patted her Jam Bud's back consolingly.
Amber shared the boy's sentiment for she fixed a sympathetic gaze on her fellow Gem. Taking a deep breath, she scribble-scribbled in her notebook. Amethyst, I may not be the right kind of person for you to be sharing all this with. I can listen and give feedback, but I can't exactly give good feedback.
"I know, I know, you're not that kinda doctor." Amethyst sounded so much like her usual sassy self that Steven fought hard not to hope too much, too quickly. She waved a dismissive hand. "You're still the only one besides Peridot and Lapis who said anything about where the Quartzes really came from, plus the only one besides Vidalia and Steven who I can vent to without gettin' judged."
Well, what about Vidalia then? You usually talk to her about stuff like this, right?
"Thought about it after I finished all that training solo, but...for some reason, I kinda wound up at the barn instead. Like something in my gem was dragging me there instead." Amethyst groaned as she rubbed her forehead. "I ain't makin' sense, am I?"
Then she caught the way Amber arced an eyebrow at her. "What?"
So you talked to Peridot.
Amethyst struggled—and failed—to contain her purple blush.
"Dot w-was on her way to the Temple when I showed up, said somethin' about needing Pearl's opinion on somethin' she's makin' for the barn. Was totally at a loss on how the heck I deal with...well you-know-what after I told her, but at least she admitted it." Something Peridot had in common with Vidalia: even when she had none of the answers, you could always count on her to be honest. "Just listened to little ol' me spitfire away. 'Cept..."
It didn't feel like enough, did it?
The purple Gem shook her head. "No. More like I'm just repeating myself. Complaining about how Jasper wiped the floor with me ain't gonna change things, and I'm sick of feeling this way." And she just knew everyone was probably sick of her whining about how lousy she felt, too. Aggravated, she banged her fisted hands into the ground, stirring up sand. "I just wanna stop feeling like I'm no good no matter what!"
A beat of silence passed as Amethyst lay there, stewing in her emotions, until Amber set her jaw, eyes growing serious. Amethyst raised her eyes drearily at the sound more writing.
If you ever want to come to terms with this, you may have to face Jasper after all.
Seeing those words made Amethyst shoot up, shocked. "For real?"
Yes. If words won't help you, then maybe actions will.
"You think I can beat her then?"
Amber wrote nothing, but Amethyst could take a hint. The lavender stone sighed, frustrated with herself. That is until she felt a claw tap her shoulder. Her eyes bugged out the moment she caught what Amber wrote next.
Especially since Steven'll be there to help you.
Amethyst gasped, looking at the molehog as though she'd suggested taking a dip in lava. "Dude, are you crazy?! I'm not lettin' him near that nut!" The kid was tough, yeah, but Jasper would rip right through him without Connie for backup. "Besides, I gotta be able to do this myself! What's the point otherwise?"
Amber could only shake her head at the Quartz's continued obstinacy and gave up on convincing her otherwise. Sooner or later Amethyst was going to need to get through her head that independence doesn't mean isolation. If a literal smack from reality was the only way for her to accept that fact, so be it.
Regardless, on the off-chance you somehow succeed in beating her on your own and taking her prisoner, that means I might finally have a chance to talk to her.
...Okay, that made no sense. Amethyst scrunched her face in confusion. "Talk to her about what?" She doubted Jasper would be willing to have a talk with Amber over a cup of tea, least of all after a severe butt-whoop.
I've been thinking about what you said at the barn. You asked me why I was so interested in Jasper and back then I had no idea how to answer that myself. But during my history lessons with Peridot, I was reminded about things leftover from the war. Confronting Jasper will be a step towards settling them.
"Is this something to do with all that atonement stuff you're hung up on?"
Amber rubbed her nape, pensive. A little bit. Let's just say there are a few things I'd like to put to rest. Who knows, maybe the newfound sense of peace will help me get my form back under control.
Huh, Amethyst scratched her head, I didn't think of that. I guess it'd be worth a shot. Still...
She looked back up at Amber. "What do you have to put to rest, though? You got a cozy place to crash, you don't gotta worry about being on missions—heck, you don't hafta worry about us hunting you down and stuffing you in a bubble anymore. I don't get why you bother with us when you could just keep livin' how you've been for so long."
Nothing.
"Amber?"
Scribble-scribble.
My sisters died right before we could defect.
Dude. Amethyst blanched. "Was Jasper the one who—"
Amber shook her head hard then morosely mouthed 'boom'. The meaning did not lose itself on Amethyst.
We were surrounded and one of us had to get important information back to Rose, so my sisters held back the Homeworld soldiers sent after us just so I could escape. I got away but there were too many after me, too many on top of them. In the end, my sisters had to
The yellow molehog paused there with an indecisive face, unsure if she wanted to continue.
BZKKTTT!
Amber hissed as both her legs violently started to flicker, pencil falling from her grasp. So taken back by the sensation, she would have toppled backwards if Amethyst hadn't launched herself in time to catch her by the hands, taking care to avoid the long claws, and help stabilize her.
"You okay?"
Amber nodded. Out of habit, Amethyst fiddled with a loose bang near her gimpy eye, the presence of which flashed her back to the events of yesterday. A thought suddenly came. "You were there at Beta, right? Did you ever get to see how the Quartzes from there treat each other?"
Amber closed her eyes and rubbed her temples. Oh, those were not fun memories she wanted to relive.
Okay, bad question, thought Amethyst with a cringe. "Sorry."
Sighing, Amber shook her head, trying to give her best assuring smile. Unfortunately, Amethyst saw right through it. "But that's my point, ain't it? You're way stronger than me."
Amber narrowed her eyes, not understanding what the other lithomorph meant.
Amethyst threw her head back with a soft petulant growl. "You want an example? How about how Pearl sent like thirty of herself right at you and you owned them all? Or that you know how to corner corrupted Gems like they're nothing? Or, oh, how about the fact that you've survived on your own as a pincushion for the last 5000 years?"
The Quartz's voice, though level and tame enough, simmered with self-hate. "All that got wrong about me was my size," she looked away as if ashamed to burden the other Gem with her presence. "I'd never be able to do half the stuff you did," she murmured as she wiped away a stubborn tear, "not on my own."
So lost in her own misery, the Quartz never noticed Amber create her next response in the sand between the two of them with slow deliberate strokes until the aureate stone tapped her knee, imploring her to look.
Lucky.
A bitter hollow laugh escaped Amethyst. "Yeah, it figures."
Seconds later, she felt Amber tap her knee again. Moaning out of annoyance, Amethyst begrudgingly looked again, seeing Amber had added more to her answer.
Me. I lived by chance.
Wait, what? Amethyst fixed a confused stare on the other Gem. "Uh Sparkles...I really don't—"
With a hiss of frustration, Amber slapped her hands onto the sides of Amethyst's head, smushing her cheeks, and pinned down the Gem with a glare that demanded no movement. The moment the yellow Gem made contact, both their eyes started glowing white as a golden shimmer traveled down Amber's arms into Amethyst's head.
Snide voices immediately filled the lavender Quartz's head, some of them uncomfortably familiar.
Worthless blob! Get over here and fix my screens already!
Someone is going to take responsibility for this, and it certainly isn't going to be me!
Well of course. Things always find a way to go wrong when you leave Ambers unattended.
Don't look at me. Look at this pitiful excuse for a mudstone that can't follow directions properly.
Oh, you have nothing to apologize for. I should've known better than to have handed you such defective tools.
Maybe if we pin it on her, they'll go easy on the rest of us Ambers for that malfunction. She is from Earth after all.
Many Gems are born lucky. Gems like you, little one, are lucky to be born.
You're the lucky one, sis. Never forget that.
The conscious stream cut off there, returning both Gems' eyes to normal, Amber having snatched her hands away to wipe off a few errant tears while Amethyst sat there shell-shocked at everything she'd heard. Even with the snippets given to her, she had enough to piece together Amber's point.
Sweet grief.
Amethyst put a hand on her counselor's furry shoulder, despite the other Gem not making eye contact with her. "So Gems on Homeworld made you and other Ambers into scapegoats for everything?"
...Scribble. Scribble.
Gemstones like us are looked down upon because of our origins. If you relied on biological life to come into existence then you're instantly nothing more than an object. Its why Gems like me and Pearl rank so far down the hierarchy.
Amethyst could only nod. Yeah, that sounded pretty much in line with what Peridot said about Homeworld and how it operates, and quite honestly Amethyst wasn't surprised in the least.
But wait, if Pearls were supposed to be 'pretty little decorations', what were Ambers then? Amethyst took her hand off Amber and put it to her chin, reviewing everything she'd heard from the data share.
Then it hit her, that one comment about 'defective tools'.
She eyed Amber warily as though in fear of triggering her. "Were you supposed to be like some kinda toolbox? Something Gems like Peridot would've lugged around to fix stuff?" Pearl did say something once about how Ambers can store tons of data. When Amber responded with a solemn nod, Amethyst only shook her head, face twisting in disgust. "Dude, I don't know who had it worse on Homeworld: you or Pearl."
Actually no, scratch that. Both Amber and Pearl had led equally suckish lives on Homeworld, just in different ways. Chalk up yet another tally under the list of reasons Amethyst thanked her late emergence she was a Crystal Gem.
Although it hadn't come without its own lousy moments because, man, did Pearl know how to deliver them. Amethyst, after as this competition's over, we're having a talk about that little stunt of yours. Amber, too.
The tiny Quartz had to wonder if Garnet made some baloney about her Future Vision pinpointing Jasper just to give Amethyst time to rest up before she had to deal with any more emotional baggage.
In which case, thanks G.
Speaking of whom, the tiny Quartz looked back at the beach house. When she noticed the trio watching, the purple Gem gave a hearty wave, one Connie and Steven gladly returned while Kurtis merely smiled back. She looked back to Amber with an empathetic gaze.
"Thanks for tellin' me, Abs."
The quills along Amber's back lit up white like lightbulbs as the skin of her pale snout blushed gold. The molehog hastily shook her head and managed a shy yet grateful smile, one the Quartz reciprocated as she lay back in a more comfortable pose.
"You never said you were from Earth either. I mean, if that's who that other Amber was talkin' about." When Amber confirmed with another nod, Amethyst blew her lips angrily. "And you got blamed for stuff cuz-a that? Dude, why not tell us sooner?"
Suffice it to say, I was popular among Gems in a way I could have done without. It's part of why I feel more at ease among humans I guess I just didn't have enough faith in any of you to understand.
A sad truth, but a truth nonetheless. Amber looked to the side, lost in thought, until a poke in the shoulder brought her attention to a smirking Amethyst.
"That's why we Earth Gems gotta stick together, girl! And just so you know, Sparkles, when I sock Jasper in the face, I'm dedicating the first hit to you."
Amber put a hand to her chest, her way of asking 'you're serious?' At Amethyst's pumped grin, the golden rock returned the mien and, without thinking, uttered out her thoughts. "...'Hanks."
She slapped a hand over her mouth, mind reeling at what just happened. Did...did her voice just...? Amethyst's stupefied expression asked the same question. Gingerly, Amber put her hand away and managed to squeak out another scratchy "...H-Hanks?"
Right away, Amethyst pointed to Amber excitedly, hopping up and down as though the other Gem just did the coolest thing ever. "Heeeeey! You just sounded like yourself! Yer actual self, I mean! Wait, wait, lemme think up another epic Quartz joke! We'll get that form uncorrupted in no time!"
Though Amber did not protest, she blushed amidst her efforts to hold back a tickled smile.
Back in the house, Steven and Connie shared a newly hopeful grin, thankful that Amethyst had gotten her cheerfulness back.
All the while, Kurtis only sighed in relief even though there was no hiding that smile of his.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Pearl wished she could smile herself.
First of all, no Jasper much to her and Garnet's (well mostly Pearl's) chagrin.
Second, that disappearing act of Amethyst and Amber's apparent role in it. Not that the little yellow Gem bothered to hide the truth about what she did once Pearl and Garnet confronted her, Peridot, and Lapis at the barn after a week of their resident whip-slinger's absence and immediately following Garnet's 'interrogation' with Marcus.
And now this. The lithe veteran shot a disdainful glare to the quartet of colored eyes flickering in the distance, watching back. Amber's not even with us this time! Why are they following us?
A heavy thud to the side signaled Garnet's return. "That Quartz Jasper was tailing disappeared."
Crossing her arms, Pearl shook her head with an exasperated groan. "Impossible. Quartzes don't have the ability to just teleport. Of course," she tapped her chin, "that would mean..."
Garnet hummed thoughtfully before the two Crystals returned their attention to the trees. Though the glowing eyes no longer lingered, the two space ladies could still feel their eerie gazes.
Pearl huffed. "What I don't understand is why these Ambers would harbor that corrupted Gem. I can't recall them ever doing such a thing before." She angled her face to the ground. "Then again, they only started avoiding Amber, too. Could there be a connection between the two behaviors?"
But again, why? They couldn't possibly think Amber wished to hurt the corrupted Gems. In which case, they were keeping the yeti-like being safe from Jasper. Or to put it more accurately, that targeted Quartz was seeking sanctuary. After all, if her footsteps stopped just short of the trees, then perhaps she had been waiting to vanish there.
How would she know to come here then, though?
"Maybe it really is that simple," Garnet finally answered, "that all these Ambers are keeping the corrupted Gems safe from Jasper. Or maybe just keeping them safe in general."
"They would need to have regained enough self-awareness to pull it off," Pearl retorted, "just like our Amber, and I doubt every single one of them found human families of their own to interact with."
"Or at least someone to get them organized enough so they could recognize and remember what to do."
That statement caused Pearl to shoot a gaze of shock at her teammate. "Garnet, you're not suggesting that..."
"She always did have many secrets."
Pearl put one hand to her chin and the other to her opposite elbow and eventually sighed. "All this does sound like something she'd do, wouldn't it?"
"Doesn't mean we have to follow every example of hers."
Pearl immediately placed two fingers to her forehead, just beneath her gemstone. "Garnet, please don't..."
"She deserves to know."
"I know, Garnet! You think I haven't pondered over how torn apart she must be. But can you blame me for being upset about all this?! Ever since she disappeared, I kept asking myself: 'Where did we go wrong, what did we say wrong?' And then all of a sudden we come back to find her slouching around as if nothing happened!"
"She never did like sharing her issues with us." Voluntarily anyway. "She's worried about burdening us."
Pearl wanted so much to retort, to insist that Amethyst could most certainly have opened up to them about her problems. Yet she thought back to that incident when Amethyst introduced Steven to the Kindergarten.
You're the one good thing that came out of this mess. I always thought you were proud of that.
A saddened exhale escaped the lithe Gem. "Is it too late to start blaming Lapis for all this?" Because stars knew Pearl couldn't bring herself to blame Amber or even Peridot for how Amethyst acted, particularly the former despite the aborted attempt at confrontation this morning.
Garnet merely shrugged. "Antagonizing her wouldn't help much." The hydromancer only played by the CG's rules as long it meant they'd leave her alone. What reason did she have to care about the feelings of the same people who kept her prisoner for so long?
The fusion put a hand on her friend's shoulder. "Instead of seeking blame for the past, let's head back and talk to Amethyst instead. Amber, too, if she's still there."
A second of quiet heavy with thought trekked by. At last, Pearl closed her eyes in defeat before facing the direction of the Warp Pad with a calm, serious mien and taking the lead back home.
Garnet's right. It's time we stopped stalling.