I am a simp for Hunter. That is all.

Warnings:
Mainly just language, a reference to a possible blood fetish on Tech's part.

I immediately knew it wasn't Tech with a gloved and semi-armored hand on my shoulder. How? See, my bed wasn't normal. Shocking, right? Since when are self-insert characters not quirky and unique? I was no exception. My bed was actually a mid-loft bed, two sets of drawers able to fit underneath and still room left for a small nest of pillows and blankets.

All that to say it couldn't have been Tech because he wouldn't have been able to reach as far over the rail. Crosshair wouldn't dare be in here, and Wrecker was much noisier…

"Sergeant… for your sake I better still be dreamin'."

"I'm afraid not, Shadow."

You better be afraid. Smacking his hand off my shoulder, I twisted my head to glare at him as he stood by my bed in full armor. "First you break my plate then you break into my room? Motherfucker, one more infraction and I'm breakin' your nose." I rolled over and shifted deeper into the covers. "See how handsome that face of yours is then."

"Handsome?"

I glanced over my shoulder at the sergeant, who wore a mix of amusement and surprise on his tattooed face. Fighting the urge to roll my eyes, I replied, "I'm grey not blind. You have a conventionally attractive face and your hair is nice."

A brow quirked up. "Thought you said you couldn't flirt?"

I snorted and faced away from him again. "That's not me tryin' to flirt, you wanna see me try to flirt? You didn't strike me as a masochist. Why put yourself through that?"

"Now you've got me curious, Shadow," Hunter remarked dryly.

My own response was dry as well. "Do I now? Guess I just have to oblige." I flipped back to face him. "Very well, Sergeant Hunter. Want a taste of my horrible flirtin' skills? Just remember, you wanted this. So, tell me, are you old wallpaper?"

His brow furrowed. Clearly that wasn't the direction he thought I was gonna go. "Old wallpaper?"

"Yeah, cause I find you..." A near wicked grin twisted my lips. "A'pealin."

He made a face, but it didn't hide his grin. "That was horrible."

"No shit," I snickered, rolling over again. "Now be gone and let me sleep a big longer."

"Sorry, Shadow. Time to get up. We have a mission to do and we've delayed enough as is."

"Didn't I say if you wake me up before seven I'd send you flyin'?"

"Chronometer reads seven-o-one."

Well fuck, he had me there. But I still wasn't quite ready to get up. I squinted over my shoulder at him, slowly gripping the edge of the sheet. "Like a shadow, I am gone. Whoosh." Dramatically, I pulled the covers back over my head.

He reached over the rail and tugged at the covers. "Come on. I sent the others to gather last minute stuff. You need to get up and ready."

"No, I don't think I will," I retorted, smacking his hand.

"Shadow."

"Hunter."

"I won't ask again."

I was far too tired to give a shit about the fact his officer tone had crept in. "Good."

"If you aren't up when they get back, I'll send Crosshair in to wake you up."

"Yawn."

"Alright. I see you want to do this the hard way. Very well. I won't send Crosshair. I'll send Wrecker."

I jerked up fast enough to give myself whiplash. "Good morning USA! I got a feeling that it's gonna be a wonderful day!" I sang, scrambling for the ladder.

"What's USA?" Hunter asked, stepping back to give me room as I jumped down.

"Don't worry about that," I grumbled, attempting to turn the man around and push him out of my room. "Now shoo. Give a lady some privacy."

"But you're no lady," Hunter replied, leaning back against my hands.

"That was rude," I replied with a huff, still shoving at his back.

"Says the woman who told me to, what was it? Calm my tits?"

"Great, not only do I have a cheeky sergeant on my hands, I've got a vengeful sergeant as well." I pushed my shoulder into him, trying to gain more leverage. "Who needs to lose some weight, damn son!"

"Oh that's just gravity. It's funny on this planet. In fact." He began to lean his entire weight back against me. "I think it's getting stronger."

So, he wanted to play it difficult huh? Very well. I dropped my hands and stepped out of the way, causing Hunter to topple backwards. Had he not had something to grab and slow his fall, it could have been a lot worse.

Unfortunately, that something happened to be my arm.

Digging my heels in, I quickly shifted my weight backwards to counteract his. But the man in his armor was heavier than anticipated, and his weight took us both to the floor. Crashing onto the carpet, Hunter landed on his back and only by twisting at the last second did I manage to avoid landing on top of him.

"I shoulda stayed in bed and taken my chances with the big fella," I grumbled from my place beside Hunter, my chin in one hand as I drummed my fingers on the floor with the other.

"Had you not tried to push me we wouldn't be here," Hunter snorted. The sergeant had fallen on his back and now lay propped up on one elbow as he faced me.

"Uhhh, nooo," I corrected, turning my head to face him. "Had you not decided to invite yourself into my room, then we wouldn't be here, Shaggy."

"You needed to get up, Ice."

He couldn't have known the effect that would have. That name… Ice. The nickname of my oc Scarlett when I first started writing, given to her thanks to her stunning blue eyes. Sure my character still had that nickname even six years later, as her eyes were still really blue, but it was still jarring. I figured he was probably referencing my "special ice" comment from yesterday, since it was a funny line thinking about it. Even so, it took me a moment to reply. "Well now we're both down."

"I see that." Something in his tone told me he caught my brief moment of crisis. No small wonder. My face was quite expressive and even if it wasn't, Hunter was probably an expert at body language.

"Oh really?" I snorted in an effort to distract him from pondering too much. "Well yippe." Pushing myself up onto all fours and shaking myself off, I sat back on my heels.

"Do all Alphians move like a cat?" he asked, eyeing me with a raised eyebrow.

This has nothing to do with my Alphian blood… and everything to do with why I was an outcast for most of my elementary school life. Even now I can't shake the branding of "crazy cat girl", nor can I weed out personality quirks that became ingrained into my behavior from many years of pretending.

"Feline Type Alphians do. There's…" I counted the clans in my head and on my hand. Agor, Hyde, Izeirv, Jekyl, Vulry, Xandal, Zyvor. "Seven different types. Avian Raptor, Feline, Ursine, Serpents, Canines, Sharks, and Lizards."

"That's a vast array," Hunter commented, sitting up.

"A primary type for each clan. Same thing with elements. There's Air, Darkness, Ice, Lightning, which Trevor has, Fire, Water, and Earth."

Brown eyes looked at me with new interest. "You mentioned a clan yesterday. Jackals?"

Between you and Tech y'all gonna make my eye start twitching with this mispronunciation. "Jekyls. They have the biggest taste for human flesh and love to enslave humans. They're probably your culprit, plus that planet was a desert one, right?"

Hunter nodded. "Correct."

"Then it's most likely them, they live in temperate desert climates."

"Wait… biggest taste for human flesh?" The sergeant leaned back, eyeing me with newfound caution. "Do all Alphians eat humans?"

Fighting off a laugh, I explained, "Some do, some don't. I don't. We ain't like Rageryans, they really eat human meat. They're also occasional cannibals thanks to an apocalyptic event in their species' past, though most clans and tribes have sworn off it."

"That man Trevor is a Rageryan, right?"

He's a disaster of a creature is what he is. "Partial. Alphians and Rageryans can reproduce, Rageryans and humans can reproduce, and Alphians and humans can reproduce. Relks factor in too. Alphs, Rags, and Relks all have human way back in their line, so any combination of them can mix and match. You can also make an artificial half-blood between two of the species. Attempting to mix three is not a good idea."

Hunter looked mildly impressed. "You certainly know your stuff."

Of course I do, I'm the one who came up with it. What kind of creator would I be if I couldn't recall my own worldbuilding stuff? I ask as I keep forgetting literally everything. "Thanks," was all I said, standing up and reaching down to pull him up as well.

Hunter took my hand and let me pull him to his feet. "Don't take too long, we need to move ASAP."

"Had you just left when I asked, I'd already be out," I snorted as he walked past me.

Shutting the door behind him, I threw on the clothes I laid out last night, a sleeveless black shirt and dark camo cargo pants complete with a hole for my tail if I did need to shift. After that, I grabbed the bag I also had packed the night before. Many hiking trips had taught me that fixing everything the night before was a wise move. I grabbed two hats as well, one with ear holes and one without, stuffing the first hat into my small bag and tucking my hair under the second.

I'd go see Trevor once we left the room for the other stuff and map of the tunnels. I shuddered. I fuckin hated underground. This would not be a fun experience once we got into those mineshafts.

After running to the bathroom, I walked out to find Hunter sitting at the table, helmet sitting in front of him as he drank some juice. "That was quick. And nice hat."

"Ain't my first rodeo, and you won't be laughin' when the humidity makes you look like you stuck your finger in an electrical outlet."

"My hair doesn't frizz," he remarked, looking smug.

"Well you better share your secrets, because mine does all the time." I looked at the juice in his hand. "And of course you can raid my fridge, thanks for askin'," I snorted, heading there myself.

He raised his glass towards me in a silent and sarcastic "you're welcome" and went back to drinking his juice.

"Such a lovely bunch, you Bad Batchers," I said, rolling my eyes.

"You're not exactly sunshine and rainbows yourself, Ice," Hunter replied, watching me closely to no doubt try and catch the brief moment of hesitation.

This time, however, I hid it. "Thank you, I try." Grabbing the half-gallon of what I figured to be orange juice, for it was orange and it was juice, I unscrewed the lid and gave it a sniff. Smelled like orange juice.

"You Alphians can smell things humans don't, can't you?" Hunter remarked.

"Aye. But in this form my senses are muted compared to my other forms. I gotta say," I looked him up and down, "Never heard of someone being allergic to arousal hormones."

"I am not allergic. I sneeze to get it out of my nose." Hunter made a face. "You know how weird it is to smell arousal from your brother?"

"I am an only child so I shall remain blissfully unaware of that experience," I replied gratefully.

As he picked up his glass, Hunter replied dryly before taking a drink, "He wouldn't have gotten aroused had you not flirted with him."

"Flirt with Crosshair?" I exclaimed, half shocked and half offended. "I may be a gremlin who can be off the fuckin' shits feral at times, but I have standards! They're low, but they're there." I tipped back the jug.

Yep, orange juice.

Hunter sat his glass down. "Says the one drinking that juice straight from the jug," he pointed out.

"No… I thought I was drinking it straight from the tit of the orange." I took another drink.

"Is there a possibility we can get another guide?"

I lowered the jug and raised an eyebrow at him. Fighting down a grin when he mirrored me, I snorted, "Not a chance, Sarge. Y'all stuck with me now."

"Oh no, how will we survive?" he lamented, face deadpan.

"Do you feel menaced, Sergeant?" I teased.

That characteristic playful smirk appeared on his face. "Very."

"Then my work here is done."

"You are a lot more playful when I talk to you one on one," he said with a small laugh.

"Like I told Tech, I'm only hostile if you poke me with a stick first. Speaking of Tech, does he have a blood fetish or something?"

Hunter's eyes grew wide and he choked on his juice. "Excuse me, a what?"

This poor man. To be fair, that would throw anyone. Ain't his fault I have no filter. "A blood fetish."

Still looking two seconds from passing out from pure shock, Hunter looked me up and down. "What did you two do after I went to sleep?!"

My ears shifted back as I made a disgusted face. "Ew! Not that! I've known y'all hardly a day, what do you take me for?" If I'd known him longer maybe… "No, he was just really adamant about getting my blood for testin'. I mean I get it, blood is really good for learning about a species, but he was persistent."

The sergeant rubbed his temples. "Did you give him any?"

I snorted. "Uh no. I can't do needles, my man. At all. It's a complete and utter no from me." I took the orange juice, poured myself a glass, and sat across from Hunter.

"I'll tell him to stop asking," Hunter assured me, then under his breath muttered, "I cannot believe him."

"No harm no foul. He agreed to layoff in exchange for me talkin' to him about Kelusia and my species on the trail."

"Good."

We went silent for a few moments as we downed our glasses of juice. Hunter seemed preoccupied by something on the tabletop, so I took the chance to study his armor. How did they get it on? How'd they get it off? How many pieces was it made of? How heavy? How'd they take it off to piss?

My eyes went to his helmet, studying the painted skull on the left-hand side. An excellent choice, for that insignia of death was the last thing many would see before they themselves died. I knew the Bad Batch normally fought droids but they were special forces. Really special forces. I knew a couple of retired special forces guys in real life, and was fairly certain that if Star Wars special forces were anything like real-life special forces… their missions were anything but normal.

The helmet was within my reach. I could literally grab it. But… well anxiety always did pick the… best times to pop in for a visit. Bastard.

But I really wanted to hold that helmet.

No, asking would agitate the sergeant.

Or would it?

No, he'd hate me.

Wait, why would he hate me?

It'd be bothering him…

But would it really?

Brown eyes met mine. "Shadow… something wrong?"

Busted.