This is a remaster of the original Trust Shattered, all the way back from May 2020! The gore and terror wasn't tweaked too much, mainly because I felt it horrifying enough, but the emotional impact is certainly worse :D
Hope you enjoy! 3
TW: Abandonment, manifested fears, horror themes and elements, explicit gore descriptions, terrifying scenes, explicit body mutilation, evil!Batch, close calls with true death near the end, major character death (nightmare scene, but still a needed warning), taunting from my own vivisected corpse.
This chapter has the most likelihood of inducing panic attacks, anxiety attacks, and/or disgust so strong you may feel the need to throw up. I am not joking, I could only read over this so many times myself without feeling sick, and I could never read it all in one go. Still can't
Please take care of yourselves!
Cold.
That was my first sensation.
Where was the warmth against my back?
I groaned and shifted around, arching my back as I tried to find Wrecker.
The hell did he go?
I opened my eyes.
And… where did Tech go?
Where were any of the Batchers?
Then I heard it.
Low, hushed voices.
I couldn't make out what they were saying, but…
Something was wrong.
I knew their tones. Knew the inflection of their voices.
And not a single one had the malice of the voices I was hearing now.
Nausea gripped my stomach and I listened closer.
"Make 'em run. It'll be more fun to see if they really can outrun us."
My heart stopped, bolts of electricity seizing my muscles as if I'd just fallen into an icy mountain river.
Cr… Crosshair?
No, no he couldn't be serious.
He was joking.
He had to be.
I waited anxiously for Wrecker to laugh and hear the sound of him smacking Crosshair's shoulder. Waited anxiously for Tech to protest about how Crosshair needed to be nicer. Waited anxiously for Hunter to snort in amusement.
But those words never came.
Something far worse followed Crosshair's suggestion.
Agreement.
"Haven't had a good hunt in a while," Hunter said, voice low. A dark, predatory chuckle followed his words. "They'll make for good prey."
They're not serious. They can't be serious. Tech! Please don't agree with them!
If sweet Tech agreed, or even worse, gave his own suggestion, I'd know this was no trick.
Horror gripped my chest when Tech merely said, "I'll record it for future hunts. They have multiple lives. We can try different scenarios. I've always wondered how much blood someone can lose and stay awake."
Wrecker laughed, the horrid sound holding no mirth. Only sadistic anticipation for my pain. Pain they would cause. "As long as I get to feel their neck snap under my hands."
This couldn't be happening.
It couldn't!
For them to just… mercilessly turn on me like that?
Did they… my outburst.
Had it pissed them off that badly?
Were they that angry with me?
Had they really been planning on abandoning me all along?
Horrified, I shifted backwards…
And hit a creaky board.
The voices stopped.
"They're up. Wrecker, drag 'em out here."
"Sure thing, Sarge."
That wasn't Wrecker's voice. It was too cold. Too empty. Too cruel. Wrecker wasn't cruel. He was goofy, friendly, kind, sweet, caring.
That wasn't his smile. That dark, sadistic, twisted, monstrous smile wasn't Wrecker's. Wasn't the smile of a man who'd laugh at my jokes, laugh at my jabs at Crosshair, laughed when a butterfly landed on my nose.
Those weren't his eyes. Wrecker's eyes were always bright and playful. I was staring into the eyes of a killer. A killer who didn't feel anything other than a primal urge to tear me apart with his bare hands. Hands that were now grabbing for me, trying to drag me out and to the other waiting murderers.
I could only press so far back into the suddenly tiny loft before his hand seized my wrist in an iron grip, all but crushing the bones beneath. I shouted in pain as he yanked me out, the rough, uneven surface of the rocks tearing gashes in my belly and legs.
Rocks?
I wasn't in a cave!
I was in a loft!
Wood, straw, cloth!
Not rocks!
The monster didn't care, dragging me through the dirt and jerking me up to kneel in front of the men.
No kindness in the six brown eyes staring down at me, only harsh indifference and bloodlust. Even Tech's usually gentle brown eyes were like ice, no flicker of recognition. Nothing to say he saw me as anything more than a target. An animal. Hunter's predatory, malicious stare chilled me to my very core, sending near debilitating spikes of horror through my bones.
"No! Why are you doing this!?" I yelled, fighting against Wrecker's grip as he held me in front of Crosshair.
The sniper gripped my jaw so tightly I felt bruises form under his fingers. "Aw… what's the matter, sweetheart?" His nails dug in, uncharacteristically sharp and cutting through my flesh. "Did you really think I loved you?"
Those words.
I'd heard them before.
This wasn't real.
It wasn't real!
Somewhere… but where?
Where had these horrible words haunted me before?
"You'll never be anything more than a means to an end," the sniper continued, a sneer still twisting his face.
A face that…
Morphed between canon and this AU?
What…?
A nightmare.
A nightmare!
I wanted to scream. Wanted to thrash and wake myself up. Rip myself from this horrid realm.
Escape before those harsh words cut my heart in two once again.
All my efforts were in vain.
"If you actually believed I cared about someone as useless and forgettable as you." A mocking laugh. "Then you're even stupider than I thought!"
Wake up! Wake up before you realize what that bastard Zed meant! Why can't you wake up!?
If only I could listen to my subconscious.
"You're going to be a good little kitty and run run run." The dark grin on Crosshair's face stabbed straight through my chest, as if Hunter's viroblade had already been pushed deep inside and was being twisted with cruel, agonizing force.
I looked frantically to Tech, holding onto slim hope that I wasn't trapped in this hellscape and they were just pulling an extreme prank.
But his eyes held no kindness, no sympathy. No warmth. No care.
This wasn't Tech.
This wasn't the Bad Batch.
Not anymore.
Empty, black eyes that leaked thick, inky blood.
Warped, jagged tooth grins.
Half their features melting away and replaced by dark, abyssal voids.
Decaying flesh.
Bloodstained hands.
Monsters.
I was dealing with monsters…
"Better get to runnin', sweetheart." Crosshair shoved me back into Wrecker. "Don't make it easy on us. Because we certainly won't make it easy on you."
Of course not.
You never have.
They wouldn't spare the blade for me…
So I couldn't spare it for them.
These were not my boys.
These were not my friends.
My only hope…
Kill and run.
As Wrecker threw me to the ground, painful tears stung my eyes, blurring my sight. Bile rose in my throat, my stomach churning and threatening to revolt. Looking up, my resolve crumbled away far too easily as the monstrous asimilies laughed at my terror.
Facing down an enemy was one thing.
But being turned on by someone you thought you could trust...
I'd rather have taken a blaster bolt straight through the stomach and left to rot than deal with the utter, crushing betrayal tearing at my very soul. The pain of dying slowly, bleeding and alone, could never compare to the agony of a broken heart and shattered hope.
Not like I hadn't experienced this before.
Only, before…
I didn't have sadistic commandos filled with murderous intent on my tail.
Wrecker's foot connecting with my side sent me flying through the air and into a tree, the hard trunk jarring something vital. Blood spouted at my lips, staining them red as I tried to push myself up. The ground shook beneath me as Wrecker charged, grabbing me once again, this time by my throat. I kicked and scratched, aiming for his eyes and throat, but I felt as if I were moving through water, the strikes not holding near as much power as they should.
Why couldn't I actually hit him?!
Why were my blows doing nothing?!
Even on Wrecker they should do something!
Fucking nightmare paralysis!
It didn't matter.
I was flying through the air once more.
I slammed into a rock this time, my shoulder emitting a sickening crack as the force broke it. A loud, ear piercing scream ripped from my throat, turning it raw. My right arm, now useless, hung at my side as I forced myself up.
I didn't look back at the men I once trusted as I ran away into the trees.
I had to do it.
I had to get away and be prepared to kill them.
I had to.
If I wanted to survive, it was me or them.
They would kill me if they caught me.
Kill me over and over and over and over until I finally didn't come back.
Torture me, tear me apart, leaving just enough to prove that I was an Alphian.
Just enough so they could get that reputation for killing me.
Or, maybe… this nightmare was just showing their true colors.
Certainly showed Crosshair's…
I never should have been so stupid to think he actually liked me.
That he actually had grown to care about me.
Why should he?
I was just some guide on some backwater world, some guide whose use had expired. An annoying brat he was forced to work with.
He never really liked me.
Never cared.
All they had ever cared about was their mission.
I was such an idiot.
A fucking idiot!
I was no ally.
No friend.
Why had I been so blind?
So stupid?
Why would anyone ever actually care about me?
Let alone a hardened sniper commando?
You fucking idiot!
You knew better!
Knew he would turn on you after it was over!
You deserve this!
Shots rang out over my head, barely missing me.
He was toying with me.
He wouldn't miss.
He never did.
I was so fucked.
I couldn't face them, face the men I called my friends and instead see my killers.
See men who I had fought beside, come to trust.
Trust.
So hard to build, yet far too easy to shatter.
I'd saved Crosshair's life.
Took a blaster bolt for him.
And how did he repay me?
Ghosting me as if my sacrifice didn't even matter.
I should have let it hit him.
Tear through his fucking throat.
End him right then and there.
But no.
I loved the snake too much to see it was planning to bite me all along.
I couldn't fight them. I couldn't land any hits. I couldn't defend myself.
All I could do was run.
Run.
Run.
Run.
RUN!
They were everywhere.
Lurking behind every tree, crouching behind every rock, hidden in every bush.
How could they be so many places at once!?
No matter which way I ran, I saw one of them.
Hunter's knife lunging for my heart.
Tech's pistol pointing at my face.
Wrecker's hands reaching for my throat.
Crosshair's rifle aiming at my back.
They were gaining.
Getting closer.
They'd have me any minute.
There, ahead. A cliff. A gap. A hope. If I could reach that chasm, I could leap across.
I could escape.
I could live.
"Here, kitty kitty!" Crosshair's mocking yell sounded behind me.
No, in front of me.
Beside my ear.
From the shadows.
The mist.
The sky.
It came from everywhere and nowhere. It was agonizingly loud, yet nothing but a whisper.
Wrecker's laugh rang through the darkened trees, drilling into my head and filling me with primal fear. His hot breath scalded my neck, his fingers brushed my back, his feet shook the ground beneath me.
Reach the gap. Reach the gap. Reach the gap.
Jump. I had to jump. I couldn't stop. I had to go.
Go.
Go.
Go!
Freedom, hope, life.
It was so close.
Right there.
Three hundred feet.
"Almost got you, Ice!"
Two hundred feet.
"Run, kitty, run!"
One hundred feet.
"Here I come, Squeak!"
Fifty feet.
"Don't you trust us!?"
Twenty feet!
I slammed into the ground, a vibroblade between my shoulder blades. My momentum took me forward, sliding to the chasm.
My salvation was now my grave.
Tumbling over the slide, I free fell before something snatched my leg.
"Don't worry, Ice, I've got you."
Those words, once comforting, once warming, turned me cold.
They had me.
They had me!
I frantically tried to break the sergeant's grip, but my legs wouldn't move. None of me would move.
Hunter's knife had severed my spine.
I was paralyzed.
Immobile.
Helpless.
Helpless as they drug me back up, helpless as Hunter ripped out his knife, helpless as Wrecker yanked me up, helpless to fight back.
All I could do was watch.
Watch as Hunter, Tech, and Crosshair crouched around me, warped grins distorting their darkened faces and soulless eyes. Watch as Crosshair grabbed my legs and pinned them down in front of me. Watch as Hunter pulled my shirt up and cut it away to get to my stomach. Watch as Tech eagerly stared down at me, forearm computer open and ready to take notes.
Crosshair gripped my legs tighter, pressing them to the ground. "Hold still for us, kitten."
Didn't he get that I couldn't move!? Why did he have to mock me like this!?
Traitor!
They were all traitors!
They betrayed me!
Turned on me!
How could they treat me like this!?
"Why?!"
"Tech, shut 'em up."
"On it."
This couldn't be real.
It just couldn't!
It was the nightmare!
Zed's warning!
Why couldn't I wake up?!
"Wake up!" I screamed. "Wake up! Wake up! Wake up!"
Tech's hand clamped painfully over my mouth. "Quiet. The louder you scream, the worse this will be."
Wrecker's laugh shook my bones. "Cut 'em up, Sarge!" he cheered, gripping my arms so tightly I could hear my own bones cracking.
Breaking.
Shattering.
"Keep those pretty eyes of yours open, kitten," Crosshair sneered. "You won't want to miss a second of this."
Grabbing my hair, pulling hard, Tech forced my head down and made me watch.
The hum of a vibroblade filled my ears, growing louder and louder and louder and louder. Digging deep into my skull and seemingly tearing my brain apart from the inside out. Heat, intense sweltering heat, hovered just above my exposed skin. Just above those already ghastly scars, tracing them.
"Such a shame," Hunter teased, baring his teeth at me.
The scalding blade pressed lightly into one scar, the heat already enough to burn me and drag a scream from my throat.
"You worked so hard to heal the scars."
Agony.
"Too bad it was all for nothing."
White hot, intense, immeasurable, unbearable, unrelenting agony.
I screamed against Tech's hand, tears falling onto the blade as Hunter opened my stomach. Steam curled up, from my tears or my blood I couldn't tell. The horrible, overpowering stench of burnt flesh flooded my nose and I gagged. My stomach revolted violently as the reek of my own charred skin began to suffocate me.
Charred skin, blood, entrails. It was too much. I couldn't stand it.
Hunter hummed a low, happy tune as he carved away at my stomach. The sound filled my ears as I began to pass out, burying into my subconscious. Wrapping around my like barbed wire, piercing my flesh and digging deep. The harder I fought to escape it, the worse it got. The further I ensnared myself.
Trapped.
I was trapped.
I couldn't escape.
No escape.
No way out.
No light.
No hope.
I was dying.
Dying painfully.
Slowly.
Agonizingly.
And it was all because I had been so stupid to actually trust these men.
I did this to myself.
It was my fault.
All my fault.
I was waking up again. Coming back to life. Reviving. Returning.
Waking up only to do it all over again. There'd be no escape for hours. Possibly days.
I expected to see Hunter's twisted grin, or maybe Crosshair's.
What I saw was, without a doubt, far worse.
I saw myself.
My own, bloody, torn, vivisected corpse.
There, on my upper stomach, a disturbing likeness of the Bad Batch's insignia; a skull.
My hands rested at my sides, body limp as I lay propped against a crimson painted rock. Streams of hot blood still flowed down my body, pooling beneath in an ever-growing puddle. Jaw hanging open, eyes rolled up and unseeing, blood leaking from my nose and mouth to run down and drip off my chin. The smell… I'd never forget it.
Week-old roadkill in the height of summer. Rotting. Decaying. Festering.
"You…"
My body seized as my corpse's eyes rolled down and fixed on me.
No.
No!
This was a nightmare!
It had to be!
I staggered back, chest heaving as panic hit me like a bolt of lightning. Why hadn't I woken up!?
My corpse's mouth twisted into a gory sneer of hatred. "You…" it rasped again, hauling its limbs up like some macabre marionette pulled my invisible strings. Standing, entrails poured from its belly and hit the ground with a wet, heavy thud. But that didn't stop it from lurching forward, a finger pointed towards me. "You caused this! You knew better. You knew!"
"No…" I croaked, still backing away.
Blood continued to gush from the open wounds across the corpse's body, covering the ground and streaking towards me. "You caused this! You! It's your fault!"
"No!"
"He never cared! You were too blind! Too fucking stupid! This is what trust gets us! What hope gets us!"
"Stop!" I cried, tears springing to my eyes once more.
"Are you happy now? Are you satisfied!?" my corpse screeched, eyes blazing with fury. "Look what you've done! Look at me!"
"Don't you like our work anymore, Ice? We made it special just for you."
They came back!
They were back!
I whipped around, seeing the clone commandos stalking out of the shadows like bloodthirsty wolves.
Feral.
Savage.
Hungry.
Backing away, I found myself at the edge of the cliff facing off against the Bad Batch. In front, ambling towards me, dragging their own guts behind them, my corpse continued to scream.
"This is your doing!"
"Here, kitty kitty."
"We're not done with this game, Ice."
"Don't look so scared, Squeaky. Wrecker will take care of you!"
"Why don't you trust us? You can trust us. Trust us!"
"No!"
Snarling, the horrible ghastly sound ripping from my corpse's throat, she lunged for me.
We both tumbled backwards, over the cliff.
Down.
Down.
Down.
Down.
I crashed into the earth floor of the shelter's lower level, a scream ripping from my throat.
Hunter's rough voice sounded right by ear. "Ice, what's going on!?" A hand grabbed me.
I didn't think.
I acted.
Claws unsheathed, I raked my hand backwards.
Aiming for his face.
His eyes.
He couldn't follow me if he was blind!
His reflexes kicked it, much to my horror, and he jerked back and my strike only grazed the bridge of his nose. Chest heaving, he stared at me with alarm. "Shadow! It's me, Hunter!"
"Traitor!" I snarled, eyes wild. "Get away from me!"
"Wrecker!" he yelled, looking at the bruiser. "Grab her!"
"On it, Sarge!"
Not him!
Not again!
I snarled as fiercely as I could, stepping back.
Putting distance between us.
The monster approached slowly, no doubt relishing in my terror. That kind, concerned look was only to make me lower my guard. Make me trust him.
And oh did I want to.
Did I want nothing more than to trust Wrecker. To throw myself into his arms, that warm, gentle embrace, and stay there. Just lean against him and let his large heart soothe me.
But I knew better.
I wouldn't be as stupid this time.
I learned my lesson.
"Squeak. Hey, Squeak. It's me. It's Wrecker!" he said, smiling. "It's alright. Wrecker isn't gonna hurt ya."
A lie.
A trick!
He continued to step closer as the other traitors began to creep in. Surround me. Box me in. Trap me.
No! I wouldn't let them take me down again!
I would not be forced to watch my own corpse blame me!
It wasn't my fault! It wasn't!
I wasn't an idiot! I wasn't!
I wasn't!
I knew better!
These men.
They'd hurt me. Torture me. Murder me!
No… I wouldn't let them get away with it.
This time… this time I'd fight back.
"Liar!" Summoning my telekinetic power, I screamed and shoved towards him. He flew back with a yell, slamming hard into the wall, the impact driving the breath from him.
"Shadow! Stop!" Tech yelled, scrambling off the floor and racing towards me.
Traitor.
Traitor!
"Trust us! Trust me!" he yelled.
"You aren't trickin' me this time!"
If I could wound him badly enough, the others would stay behind. Stay away from me.
After what he had done, too, he deserved nothing less.
I went straight for his throat.
Brown eyes flew wide and he skid to a halt, reeling back away from me. His arms flew up, blocking his face and neck as he screamed.
My claws sliced across his chest, piercing his blacks and the skin beneath. Blood welled to the surface, but the wound wasn't deep enough.
Not enough to slow him down.
Not enough to kill him!
But I couldn't waste another strike on him.
Crosshair, that fucking, sick bastard, was coming at me now.
Him.
The worst traitor of all.
I sacrificed a life and how did he repay me?
A fierce snarl erupting from my throat once more, I snatched him into the air with a telekinetic choke. As he clutched his throat, legs frantically kicking out as they sought a foothold, I sent him back into Hunter as the sergeant rushed towards me with a yell.
Whipping around, I raced away.
Deeper into the trees.
Deeper into the mist.
I had to put as much distance between me and them as I could.
Because they'd be coming.
And they'd be coming soon.
But I'd bought myself some time.
Just enough to pause for a breather.
These weren't the men I loved.
I had to get that through my thick skull.
Only one way to end this.
Only one way to survive.
They thought they could trick me again?
Thought they could just take me down like I was nothing?
No.
This was my nightmare.
And I intended to come out on top.
Thanks to patrons Lil and Jesse!
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