Need
Troy had always been a light sleeper and when he'd started working nights as a firefighter that trait had proven to be very handy when it came to being woken up by the alarm and he needed to be up and focused instantly. It therefore hadn't surprised him he was often woken up by Gabriella's restlessness as she slept, it didn't happen often and she nearly always calmed down without even waking up but he'd always stay awake for those extra couple of minutes just to make sure she was okay; that was the situation he found himself in right now.
In the initial few days after the police's visit had caused her to have her worst panic attack since he'd known her, Gabriella had been sleeping surprisingly well but as time went by and her shoulder started to bother her less she was taking less of her medication which in turn was making her less sleepy which in turn was causing her sleep to become very broken. She'd told him she was fine, the dreams weren't really that bad and she didn't honestly feel that tired but Troy knew she was only really saying that to convince herself more than him and that in reality that lack of sleep was starting to get to her.
Just as he thought she'd managed to calm down without waking up, her whole body froze and then she shot up in the bed, her breathing was erratic and tears were already running down her cheeks; Troy was quick to react though, lifting her from her side of the bed onto his lap so that she was facing him and he could cup her face in his hands.
"You're okay baby, just take those nice deep breaths for me, in and out, nice and slow." Her eyes were darting everywhere and her whole body was shaking but she had heard what he'd said and Troy let out a sigh of relief that she seemed to be calming down on his first time of asking.
"I...I'm scared."
"I know my love but you're safe here with me, it's just us, no one else can get to you here, just keep taking those deep breaths for me, you're doing really well." He used his thumbs to wipe away her tears and smiled softly at her when she lifted her eyes to meet his.
"I love you Troy."
"I love you too 'Brie, I'm so proud of how you managed to calm yourself down so quickly." He watched her for a few moments as the panic seemed to leave only to be replaced by the full upset of whatever trauma tonight's dream had put her through.
"Come here." He pull her against him and she hid her face in the crook of his neck, his arms holding her close as he felt her tears starting to drip onto his skin. Eventually her tears slowed down and she revealed her face to him; her cheeks were wet from her tears and her eyes were red from the crying but she still looked utterly beautiful to him. "Do you want to talk about it sweetheart?"
"Erm no not really but I think it's the only way I'll be able to fall back to sleep...I'm just going to go to the bathroom first and wash my face." Troy pressed a kiss to her forehead and helped her climb from the bed where he waited patiently for her to return and when she did he held his arms open and tightened them back around her as she settled herself sideways on his lap.
"It started off as the attack from the other week, I was on the ground and he was hovering over me, only when I opened my eyes it wasn't him, it was...it was Nick. I tried to fight like I did during the attack but he was stronger than me and he had me pinned down and then he erm he...he started to unbutton my jeans." Gabriella's hands came up to cover her face and Troy cupped her head against him and held her tight as images from her past and the other week's attack all started to flash through her mind at once. "I think I passed out then because everything went black but then I woke up so I guess the passing out in the dream was a good thing." She was trembling in his arms and so Troy reached for the duvet and wrapped it tightly around her.
"I'm glad you woke up when you did sweetheart but I'm so sorry that you had to go through that at all; if I'd realised it was that bad I would have woken you up, the amount you were moving about didn't reflect what you were going through, I'm sorry."
"it's not your fault Troy, I'm awake and in your arms now and that's really all I need."
"Well luckily for you you can be in my arms as much as you want over the next three days, especially during your appointment tomorrow." Because they knew her past and didn't want to put her through any more unnecessary stress, Gabriella's doctors had arranged physio style exercises for her to do at home rather than frequent trips to the hospital; the sling had been helping her shoulder to heal and so all she really needed to do was build back the strength in her muscles. Tomorrow's appointment was for an x-ray to check how her collar bone was healing and for a physio to check her out in person to see if the prescribed exercises were doing the trick. Because of this Troy had fitted his weeks work into four days so that he could have Friday off and take Gabriella to her appointment; if she was going to have to go back to the hospital, he was going to be by her side.
"Just you being there will help ease my nerves Troy." He pressed soft kisses into her hair and let her cuddle herself against him as her interrupted sleep started to catch up with her.
"Why don't we lay back down baby? You can find your spot on my chest and I'll rub your back and arm to help you drift off." He was happy that her shoulder was healed enough that they were able to snuggle in bed again; it allowed him to start the soft gentle touches to her skin that he knew were often the key to getting Gabriella relaxed and off to sleep.
"Okay." Came her mumbled reply and so he eased her off his lap and back onto the bed where he laid them both down and let her get settled against him before he started work on sending her back to sleep. "Troy?"
"Yes my love."
"Thank you for taking care of me."
"You don't have to thank me 'Brie, I'll always be here to take care of you, always."
TGTGTGTG
Gabriella smiled as she heard the basketball smacking against the ground outside. Her appointment had gone well, the physio was pleased with the strength she'd rebuilt and the range of movement she had in her shoulder and the x-ray showed that the break was well on it's way to healing in the six week time frame she'd initially been give. She didn't need to wear her sling all the time now, she could take it off to sleep and when she was about the house, allowing her to start using her arm a bit more, which in turn would also help with the healing process, so long as she also kept up the hard work with the exercises she'd been doing so far.
Her doctor had gone on to ask her how she'd been feeling in general and she had quietly admitted that she was down on sleep thanks to her not so nice dreams. She hadn't wanted to accept the sleep tablets he'd then gone on to offer her but the doctor had told her she didn't have to take them all the time, just every now and then would make a big difference to not only her sleep but Troy's too.
Troy had persuaded her to take one when they got home, he could tell how utterly exhausted she was and so had laid with her until she'd fallen asleep and after taking a short nap himself had left her alone to catch up on much needed sleep; she'd been disappointed when she'd woken up alone but had smiled when she heard what he was up to, she was glad that he was taking time to himself to unwind with the sport he loved.
Grabbing herself some juice from the fridge she took note of Summer's hospital appointment for next week, the young girls wrist hadn't healed as well as hoped on her initial check up last week and so she'd been prescribed another two weeks of her splint before another check up which would hopefully show the healing the doctors were looking for.
She'd just placed her drink down on the bedside table when the front door opened and closed and a quick glance at the clock told her it was likely to be Maddie home from school but when she heard banging and crashing start up in the kitchen she slowly made her way over to the bedroom door to investigate. She watched as the teen opened and closed various cupboards and draws and then the fridge. She'd gotten used to Maddie's mood swings, they didn't happen very often and were often over as quickly as they'd begun but today's attack on the kitchen seemed different to ones she'd witnessed before and so she stepped out of the doorway, keen to protect the kitchen from any more damage caused by hurricane Maddison.
"Mads? Everything okay?"
"Yeah." Maddie's movements stopped but she didn't turn to look at Gabriella.
"Are you sure? I'm not sure you should be attacking the kitchen if everything is okay."
"Yes I'm sure Gabi, everything is fine." Maddie's voiced raised as she finally turned to look at the older woman and it was upon seeing the concern in those eyes that caused the anger to leave and the tears to finally fall.
"Crying makes me think that you're far from okay, what's going on sweetheart?" Gabriella moved to stand next to Maddie where she stood gripping onto the side of the island.
"I messed up Gabi, I messed up really bad."
"Messed up what? Something at school?"
"No...with Luke."
"Okay...do you want to talk about it? It might not be as bad as it seems once you talk about it."
"Yes please, I'm gonna run up and get changed first though, these jeans are kinda uncomfy, I'll meet you in your room, I'm assuming you're supposed to be resting?"
"I am yeah, I just woke up from a nap, did you want anything from the kitchen or where you just using it to get out your anger?" Maddie's blush only made Gabriella smile. "Go and get changed, just try not to take your mood out on any other part of the house as you go please." Maddie smiled as she wiped away her tears, grabbed her school bag and headed up the stairs, she was glad it was Gabriella and not Troy who'd found her; she needed another female perspective to help calm her racing mind.
Gabriella patted the bed next to her when she appeared in the doorway and Maddie, now changed into an East High cheer t-shirt and some cropped black leggings, settled herself cross legged on Troy's side of the bed.
"So what did Luke do?"
"Luke didn't do anything, not really."
"So if he didn't do anything, he said something?" To this Maddie nodded. "Did this happen just now when he dropped you off?" Again another nod. "Okay, tell me what happened."
"He's been quite quiet since Tuesday, I slipped into one of their free period work outs and he was so off his game that Chad pulled him aside to talk to him; I spoke to him once he was changed and he told me that his Grandma wasn't very well and he was worried about her, I gave him a hug and told him I was here for him. I've asked him everyday how she's doing and he just says she's fine and I didn't want to upset him further so I just let it be but on the way home just now I knew something was wrong. When we got here he turned off the engine, turned to look at me and held both of my hands, he told me this wasn't how he wanted to tell me this but he couldn't keep it inside any more... he told me he loves me Gabi." The once banished tears started to flow again and Gabriella realised that she was yet to hear the real reason for the teens upset.
"What did you say to that?"
"I told him he was crazy, we're sixteen he can't possibly love me and then I...I got out of the car and slammed the door in his face."
"Oh Mads, you regret that action don't you?" Maddie nodded and Gabriella pulled on her hand until she moved to sit next to her and she could offer the teen a tissue and wrap and arm round her in comfort.
"Of all the things he could have said to me I just wasn't expecting that, it completely blind sided me and I reacted before I could think."
"I'm assuming he drove off before you had the chance to try and make it right?"
Maddison nodded. "Do you blame him? He'd just admitted his deepest feelings to me and I basically just laughed in his face, he's probably at home trying to figure out the best way to end things."
"Now you're just being silly, the boy just told you he loved you, he's not going to end things, he's probably just taken a back by your reaction."
"Yeah, I guess."
"Did you really mean that though? That he can't love you because you're only sixteen?"
"At the time I did, now I don't know, sixteen seems so young but it doesn't seem like a decision he's made lightly."
"Exactly and I think that you feel the same way, you wouldn't be so upset at yourself for messing things up if you didn't."
"I'm scared Gabi, what if I tell him I love him and then something happens, I don't want to get my heart broken."
"No one wants to be heart broken but what's the alternative? You don't tell him how you feel, things go down hill between the two of you and then it is over, surely that's not an option is it?" Maddie shook her head as she reached up to wipe away more tears. "You know Uncle Troy and I almost didn't get the chance to say I love you, if his second accident had ended differently, we would never have known how the other felt."
"The weekend after that happened I knew there was something different between the two of you, Uncle Troy was obviously in pain but still had this crazy smile on his face all the time."
"In the evening after he'd told you guys he was changing jobs, once you were all settled in bed, I came down here and we both declared our love for each other. We'd both kinda known for a while but just hadn't had the chance to put it into words and we were both shaken by the idea that we'd almost lost the chance to say it. I was scared too Mads, you know about my past, I've never been in love, I've never been loved romantically before but I couldn't deny how your Uncle made me feel; we've told each other everyday since then, multiple times a day that we love each other and I will never get tired of hearing him say it."
"How do I make this right Gabi?"
"You go round there with your heart on your sleeve and you tell him how you feel; apologise for how you reacted earlier, explain that it took you by surprise but now that you've had the chance to think you'd like him to tell you again because you have a different reaction to give this time."
"Honesty is the best policy, I guess."
"Absolutely, feel free to invite him back here for the night if you want to, Uncle Troy won't mind and I've got a feeling that once you guys start talking there's going to be so many other things you want to say; that and you probably won't want to leave each other's side for a while."
"Thank you Gabi, I knew you'd be able to help me straighten things out in my head."
"You're welcome; just next time, rather than taking it out on the kitchen, come straight to me, you know I'll always do my best to help you when you need it. Now off you go, just text me in a little while and let me know everything's okay, please?" Maddie nodded and wrapped Gabriella in a thank you hug before leaving the room and after a quick trip upstairs, leaving the house as well.
Just as Gabriella allowed herself to close her eyes in hopes of more sleep, the back door opened and closed and a sweaty Troy appeared in the bedroom doorway. "I'm sorry, I lost track of time, I didn't mean to leave you on your on for so long; is Maddie home yet?"
"She was but now she's gone again, there's something she needs to straighten out with Luke."
"Is it something I should know about?"
"If you shower and then come and lay with me, I'll tell you all about it."
TGTGTGTG
On the twenty minute walk from The Ranch to Luke's house Maddie thought she had what she wanted to say straightened out in her head but as she stood at the bottom of his driveway and heard the basketball bouncing in the back yard, her brain quickly became jumbled again. Luke was like Troy, when he needed to get his emotions out he played ball; Maddie just hoped he'd stop his jump shots long enough to let her say her piece.
With shaky hands she rang the door bell and was pleased when a smiling Helen answered the door, she doubted that Luke had told his Mum what had happened between them but she suspected that Helen knew her son well enough to know exactly what was causing his current mood.
"Maddie, we've been waiting for you to turn up, come in sweetheart." She made sure to wipe her feet on the way in and after a quick wave to Mia and Ava as she passed them watching TV in the lounge, she carried on through to the kitchen where she found Hannah with Noah in her arms.
"I'm assuming you're the reason he hasn't made a single basket in the entire time he's been out there." Hannah smiled at Maddie letting her know she wasn't angry or upset despite her causing her brother's current mood.
"Erm yeah, he told me something when he dropped me off at home and I didn't handle it very well, I've come to try and make things right with him; if he'll let me."
"Of course he'll let you, he loves you Maddie." Maddison turned to look at Helen and saw the soft knowing smile on the older woman's face.
"How do you know?"
"Because he's my son, he might think he can hide things from me but I'm a Mum, we know everything; that and he admitted it to me when we were at the hospital the other day."
"Why were you at the hospital? Was someone hurt?"
"No, my mother in law got taken poorly and was rushed in by ambulance on Monday evening; she'd had a stroke."
"He told me his Grandma wasn't very well but he never told me she was in hospital, I knew he wasn't right all week but I didn't want to push him and make things worse. Is she okay now?"
"She's still in hospital, my husband's there with her now but she did get moved out of intensive care this afternoon, I've got a feeling the text I sent Luke telling him that is what caused him to tell you how he feels."
"I was an idiot in the way I reacted but I'm here to hopefully convince him to not give up on us quite yet."
"He wont." Hannah told her as she bounced a fussy Noah in her arms. "He'll be a bit stubborn to begin with but just be honest with him and he will be in return." Maddie smiled and thanked the two women before heading outside to face her boyfriend.
TGTGTGTG
Luke heard the back door open and close but didn't turn to see who it was, he was pretty sure he knew anyway; his Mum and sister had been watching him on and off since he came outside and if they were going to talk to him they would have done it by now.
"If you've come here to tell me again what I should and shouldn't be feeling then save it Mads, I don't need to be told twice." Maddison stopped at the edge of the court, she didn't like hearing him speak to her like that but right now she deserved it.
"I've actually come to apologise, if you're willing to listen." Luke made one last shot at basket and shook his head when it went in, she really was his lucky charm.
"I'm listening." He told her as he walked towards her but didn't make any attempt to be in contact with her like he usually would.
"I'm sorry, the way I reacted was without thinking, you totally blind sided me and I didn't give it a chance to sink in before I blew off in your face, I instantly regretted it."
"I knew you'd be blind sided by it and like I said it wasn't how I wanted to tell you but after everything that's happened this week I just needed you to know."
"Your Mum told me about your Grandma, she had a stroke Luke, that's a little different to just not feeling well, you should have told me."
"I know, I did the thing I've always told you not to do and kept it inside, I was just in shock, it happened totally out of the blue."
"Your Mum seems to think that her letting you know your Grandma is out of intensive care is what caused you to tell me how you feel, is she right?"
Luke nodded. "I've been so busy recently I haven't seen Grandma as much as I should have, I hated the idea that she wouldn't recover from the stroke and I hadn't had the chance to tell her how much she means to me. When I found out she's on the road to recovery it made me realise that I will get that chance with her again but that I shouldn't ever be faced with that feeling again, I needed you to know how I felt so that if something somehow happened you would at least know I love you." Maddie stepped towards Luke but still didn't touch him, instead she took a deep breath and looked him straight in the eye.
"Can we please erase what happened in the car? Please tell me again how you feel like it's the first time you're doing it." Luke smiled softly and pulled Maddie's hands from her hoodie pocket and link their fingers together; allowing him to start running his thumbs back and forth over her knuckles as their arms hung between them.
"I love you Maddison Lucille, I know we're only sixteen but I've thought about this long and hard and I don't see any other explanation for how I feel other than I. LOVE. YOU!" He squeezed her hands and watched as her eyes filled with tears but she refused to let them fall.
"I love you too." Her voice was quiet and somewhat vulnerable but he couldn't stop the smile that spread across his face at hearing her return his heart felt words. He pulled her in for a kiss and then wrapped her up in a hug, he knew she had more to say, she just needed time to get the words right in her head.
"Did you sit crying in your room and figure this out or did you have help?"
"I sat crying in Uncle Troy and Gabi's room while she helped me unjumble all the thoughts in my head." Maddie pulled back from their embrace to look Luke in the eye but neither of them moved to completely let go of the other. "Gabi told me that the reason I was so angry with myself for reacting the way I did was because I loved you too and she was right only...I was also scared."
"Why were you scared?"
"Because I didn't want to get my heart broken."
"I don't intend on breaking it." Maddie smiled at Luke as he reached up to wipe away the tears that had slipped free as she spoke.
"I know, Gabi told me that I either tell you how I feel and risk heart break or leave things how they were between us and watch us slowly fall apart; I didn't much like that option."
"I don't like that option either. I can't guarantee we won't fight Mads and I can't guarantee that you won't get annoyed at me when basketball season is in full swing and I can't give you my full attention but I do promise to love you with all my heart and to do everything within my power not to break yours."
"Everyone keeps telling me to be honest, I think if we promise to always be honest with each other then we can't really go wrong. I promise to always be honest, do you?"
"I promise." Luke responded as he leant in and gently but passionately pressed his lips against Maddie's.
"Do you think your Mum will let you stay at The Ranch tonight and maybe for the whole weekend? Gabi said it's fine with her and Uncle Troy because once again she was right in saying that once we'd spoken we probably wouldn't want to be too far apart; I really don't want to leave your side right now Luke."
"Well if you can leave my side for long enough to let me shower then I promise to stay by your side all weekend, Mum will let me come stay with you, especially because she and Hannah have been watching us out of the window this whole time and I don't want to spend the whole evening listening to her gush about how her baby boy is in love."
TGTGTGTG
It was well after midnight by the time Troy made his way out of the bathroom and quietly walked round to his side of the bed.
He hadn't been surprised to learn from Gabriella what was going on between Maddison and Luke; he'd watched the young couple grow closer over the past couple of weeks and as much as his niece being old enough and mature enough to fall in love scared him, he knew his girlfriend was right when she said they couldn't let things fall apart based on something that might not even happen.
When they'd arrived back at The Ranch Luke and Maddie had offered to cook dinner, well Luke had offered to cook his lasagne and Maddie had offered to make a salad and set the table. It was watching them in the kitchen together that proved to Troy just how in love they were and he felt a pang in his chest knowing his sister was missing out on her baby being in love.
The evening had turned into a movie night, everyone curled up under blankets on the sofa and only comedies were watched; there hadn't been much to laugh about recently and it was like music to Troy's ears hearing the ladies in his life properly laugh again.
Gabriella hadn't lasted long, forty five minutes into the first movie and she fell asleep against Troy's side; somehow without waking her up, he managed to scoop her up and get her settled in bed, if she was going to fall asleep and rest then she should be doing it in their bed.
Two films later and Troy had found himself carrying Amelia and then Summer to bed also, they'd both fallen asleep during the last film and rather than waking them and dealing with grouchy girls he'd taken the safe option and carried them both to their beds for the night.
He put his phone onto silent and plugged it in to charge overnight and had barely pulled the covers over his body when Gabriella shot up in the bed, she wasn't panicking but her breathing was fast and he could feel her shaking.
"Hey," he soothed. "It's okay, you're okay." He reached over to turn on the bedside lamp, it wasn't overly bright but it did allow him to see her face and the silent tears that were falling down it.
"Troy?" Her voice sounded surprised. "It's you."
"Yeah baby it's me."
"I thought you were someone else, in my dream..." That was all she had to say for Troy to realise that his arrival next to her in the bed had happened at the same time as he who's name shall not be mentioned, had arrived next to her in her dream.
"He's not here baby, he can't get to you ever again." He moved to sit in the middle of the bed against the headboard and pulled her to rest against his chest between his legs, wrapping the duvet around her as he did.
"When will it go away Troy? When will the hold he has over me stop impacting my life? Stop impacting our life?"
"Is that how you feel 'Brie? That he still has a hold over you?" She nodded against his chest and he held her tight as the tears came on faster.
"I've managed to rebuild my life over the last four years and I know that every now and then certain things will bring it all back and it will infiltrate my dreams and I can deal with that; I just hate that it's impacting us."
"It's not impacting us sweetheart, we're okay."
"Troy the most we've done physically is make out and even then it's always me who pulls back first, if I hadn't of been attacked you wouldn't be helping me shower and have seen me in as few clothes as you have and that's all because of him. I know you're a gentleman and you would never force me to do anything but I know it must be frustrating for you that you're twenty nine years old and you can't do more than make out with your girlfriend because she gets freaked out and panics. I know you love me but you could be with anyone else and get your physical needs filled whenever you want."
"Gabriella Montez you listen to me right now, I don't want anyone else; I want you, I need you."
"But I can't give you everything Troy, I thought it was getting close to wanting to be physical with you and thenthe attack happened and everything from California came back and is constantly flashing through my head; I don't know when I can be physical with you Troy, I don't know when I can fill that need for you."
"'Brie I'm not going to lie and say I don't think about us making love because I do but that's not the kind of need I'm talking about right now. I'm talking about how I need you there next to me in the mornings to help me start the day with a cuddle and a kiss. I need you when I call you and you instantly know I'm stressed and can calm me down just by telling me about your day and letting me hear your voice. I need you here waiting for me when I get home everyday so I can wrap you up in a hug and tell you I love you. I need you in my life my love, in every possible way. I honestly do believe that as your physical scars heal up and you can return to your work on The Ranch like I know you so badly want to, that your mental scars will start to heal too. I know that will take more time and it will lead to more disrupted sleep but I will be with you every step of the way and one day you will feel like things being physical between us is something you want to happen."
"You really believe that?"
"I really do baby and when that day comes I'm going to worship your body and show you exactly what I feels like to be made love to." Gabriella didn't reply to this, she simply took a couple of deep breaths and cuddled herself closer to Troy. "Are you ready to go back to sleep my lovely?" Gabriella nodded and so he reached over to turn off the lamp and then moved them so that they were laying down; he curled her into his side and after making sure her shoulder was in a comfortable position he started work on helping her get back to sleep.
"Thank you Troy, I don't think I realised how much I need to hear you say those things."
"You don't have to thank me 'Brie, I love you and I will do anything it takes to get you back to yourself and believing that you really are so unbelievably beautifully sexy."
TGTGTGTG
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