A Year
As he climbed the stairs he tried to remember how many times he'd done just that in the last few months. It had become their place to go when they wanted some time together or when one of them wanted to surprise the other but it was also the place she came when she was upset and wanted to hide from the world. She'd been quiet all week and other than requesting more hugs than usual she'd told him she was fine but he knew now that the school week was over and there was nothing left to distract her the reality of tomorrow was coming at her in full force.
She was exactly where he thought she'd be, sat on the edge of one of the raised flower beds in the middle of the roof, staring off into space. He knew she'd probably heard him coming but she didn't acknowledge his presence until he crouched down in front of her and took her wringing hands into his.
"How did I know this is exactly where I'd find you?"
"Because you know this is the place Maddie goes when she's hiding from the world?" Her voice was quiet and he knew she was fighting off tears.
"But why is Maddie hiding from the world when she knows that Luke has been waiting for this moment all week and has been ready to hold her in his arms whenever she came to him?" This time she shrugged and her bottom lip began to quiver as her fight against the tears became a losing battle. "Come here beautiful." Luke moved to sit next to Maddie and pulled her onto his lap, allowing her to cuddle into him and battle the emotions that came with the one year anniversary of losing your Mum.
"I didn't think you knew what tomorrow was."
"At the beginning of the week I wasn't sure, I knew it was soon but I couldn't remember when exactly but then Sophie told me it was tomorrow and I knew that as the week went on the more likely you were to break."
"I knew not talking about it wouldn't make it go away, tomorrow's going to happen whether I want it to or not but I just wanted to get the school week over with first, I didn't want people to see me break."
"But I'm not just people."
"I know that, that's why I came up here, I knew you'd know where to find me." He pressed kisses into her hair and just held her as she took in the feeling of simply just being in his arms. "Will you stay at The Ranch this weekend? I don't think I can get through tomorrow without you."
"We need to check that it's okay with your Uncle first, I don't want to get in the way of what your family are going to go through tomorrow but as long as it's okay with him then of course I'll stay with you."
TGTGTGTG
Troy wasn't concerned when Maddison was late home that day and he wasn't surprised that when she did walk through the gate she wasn't alone. She'd been quiet all week but he knew her well enough to know that she wouldn't let herself break until there was nothing else in the way to stop her thinking about tomorrow and he was pretty sure that when she did break Luke would be right by her side.
"Hi Uncle Troy." Her voice told him that the tears had already arrived but for now she seemed to have banished them. "Please can Luke stay here this weekend?"
"Of course he can, Gabi made enough pizza dough on the basis that she thought he would be; we need to be together this weekend Mads but you need Luke with you too and that's okay." Maddie accepted the hug Troy was offering her and then returned to Luke's side.
"We're going up to my room, shout us when it's time to make pizza?" Troy nodded and watched the young couple head inside before turning his attention back to the rest of his family.
Amelia was running about playing fetch with Barney and Zeus, she was quieter than usual but for now seemed to be doing just fine; she knew what tomorrow was but seemingly wasn't going to let it affect her until the day itself arrived.
Summer was in the stables with Gabriella and Luna, helping to bring in the animals and sort out their evening feed. They'd both recovered from their injuries, they still had the odd achy day every now and then but for the most part they were healed and had both been able to return to tending to the animals; although Helen and Hannah did still pop in a couple of times a week to help out and take the chance to ride.
Seeing a counsellor at school had massively helped Summer's sleep, she still had the odd night where her dreams got the better of her but waking up to the fairy lights and not complete darkness often helped her to get back to sleep on her own, there'd only been a couple of nights where she'd ventured downstairs for a hug from Troy or Gabriella before she could get back to sleep.
Gabriella had turned down any form of counselling but had become more willing to take the sleep tablets prescribed by her doctor; she didn't take them every night but on days when she was already exhausted she knew taking them would ensure a good night's sleep. Her nightmares were still present, even the tablets couldn't stop the bad ones waking her up in a panic but Troy was always right beside her to coach her through it and hold her in his arms when the panic left and the tears arrived. She was feeling less like Nick was still controlling her life now, especially because Troy had made it his mission to tell her how amazingly beautifully stunningly sexy she was on a daily basis and often came home with flowers to remind her just how much he loved her. He was especially pleased that the cut to her face had healed without any kind of scar leaving Gabriella with no physical reminders of the attack.
"Where did you disappear off to?" He snapped out of his day dream to find Gabriella at his side and Summer and Amelia heading into the house.
"No where, just watching you two back doing your thing in the stables, it makes me so happy that you were both able to get back to doing the thing you love. When the girls started coming here I don't think any of them thought they'd find a new hobby or passion but I'd say Summer has, she loves taking care of the animals with you 'Brie."
"I love seeing her enjoy herself while doing it. I told her she didn't have to get up and help me tomorrow, she said she'll see how she feels; she's been awfully quiet today Troy even with me." Summer's quiet nature only seemed to have gotten quieter if that was possible, so much so that the school had phoned Troy to express their concern and check that there wasn't anything else, other than the impending anniversary, that would cause her to go into her shell.
Troy knew this was likely how Summer would handle this weekend and simply asked the school if they could keep an extra close eye on her; he was hopeful that if and when she wanted to talk, his niece would feel confident enough to find an adult to confide in. That adult had turned out to be Gabriella, Summer hadn't said much but in the afternoons as they worked together in the stables the young girl would open up and let Gabriella in; she knew people were worried about her but promised she was okay and that when she needed a hug she wouldn't hesitate to come looking for one.
"I know but at least she's letting you in to an extent...I don't know how I'm going to handle tomorrow 'Brie...I think I know how they're all going to behave but I don't know how I'm going to split myself in three and take care of them all." Gabriella moved to stand in front of Troy and wrapped her arms around his waist, earning her his around her in return.
"Well Maddie has Luke; that doesn't mean you shouldn't spend time with her and talk to her but don't be surprised if all she wants is to be in his arms, you know full well he'll take good care of her. That then leaves two and in case you hadn't noticed there are two of us, we'll take turns being with Summer and Amelia, making sure they both know that they aren't on their own and if they want to be they can be just so long as they know we're here whenever they need us. But you shouldn't forget that you have me Troy, I know you think you have to do this on your own because you're going through it with them but I've been through it too remember? I know you'll need time on your own tomorrow to sit and think or to shoot some hoops and I'm totally fine with that just when it all gets to much don't be afraid to show your emotions. I'm here for you tomorrow Troy in whatever way you need me to be, just please don't shut me out."
"I won't...tomorrow isn't going to be easy but knowing the girls will have you here for them as well...it means more than you could possibly know."
TGTGTGTG
As quietly as she could she closed the bedroom door, Troy had been restless all night and now that he finally seemed to be settled she didn't want to risk waking him; he'd need as much sleep as he could get to help him get through today.
She wasn't expecting Summer to join her this morning, the young girl had knocked on their bedroom door at around two AM, startled from a dream that wasn't about the attack but was flashbacks from the previous year when she'd learnt about the loss of her Mum. Troy had been the one to offer the initial comfort, taking Summer into his arms and simply holding her close as she processed her dream but as she started to fall back to sleep in his arms Gabriella had been the one to take her back up to bed; sitting with Summer until she was certain she was well on her way to a more pleasant dream.
Rubbing sleep from her eyes she made her way towards the door but when she saw movement out of the corner of her eye, she turned to find Amelia coming down the stairs. "Good morning Amelia, what are you doing up so early?"
"I woke up and I couldn't get back to sleep." Amelia punctuated the sentence with a sniffle and Gabriella didn't hesitate to pull her into a hug.
"Well that's no reason to be upset is it?" Amelia shrugged and so Gabriella lifted her up onto the island so they could be eye to eye. "What's really wrong sweetheart?"
"I want to do something to remember Mum, everyone is going to be sad today and that's okay but I want to do something that won't make them as sad."
"Well that seems like a good idea, have you had any thoughts on what you might like to do?"
"I want to bake a cake; a chocolate cake."
"Well we can definitely make that happen, was chocolate cake her favourite?"
"Yep, it's all of our favourites."
"Well you and I can do some baking later on but for now I need to head out to the stables, do you want to come with me?" Amelia shook her head. "Do you want to go back up to bed?" Again another shake. "Would you like me to see if I can wake Uncle Troy up enough so you can cuddle with him?" This time she nodded and so Gabriella lifted her down from the island and quietly led her through to a sleeping Troy.
She walked round to his side of the bed and gently started to run her fingers through his hair to wake up him. "Hey handsome, can you open your eyes for a second for me please?" Troy grunted in reply but did open his eyes just enough for her to know he was listening. "I'm just about to head out to the stables but Miss Amelia was wondering if she could climb in with you for a cuddle?" Upon hearing his youngest nieces name Troy seemed to come slightly more to his senses and rolled onto his back to see Amelia standing on the other side of the bed.
"Come here then Miss Amelia." His words were mumbled but his lifting of the covers and opening of his arms was all Amelia needed to see to climb up onto the bed and curl into his side.
"Go back to sleep you two, I'll see you when I come back in." After watching them for a couple of seconds to make sure they were both comfortable she quietly left the room and set about heading outside for the second time that day.
TGTGTGTG
"I don't want any lunch and I don't want any of your stupid cake either; it's not going to bring her back, is it?!"
Out of the three of them it wasn't Summer who he'd expected to show her emotions through anger, his bet for that had been on Maddie but she'd just been teary eyed and quiet, never straying far from Luke's side.
His attention turned from the back door, which Summer had slammed behind her as she left, to Amelia who was now crying in Gabriella's arms; upset at what was supposed to be something nice had instead caused her sister to shout at her. He was torn, Summer was clearly upset and needed someone to talk to but Amelia hadn't deserved to be shouted at and she needed someone too.
"Go after her Troy, I've got Amelia." Troy could see Gabriella too was shaken by Summer's outburst but Amelia did seem to be settled in her arms and so after a quick kiss to both of their foreheads he headed out through the back door in search of Summer.
He found her in what had now been named the 'Memory Garden' sat on the ground in front of a plaque they'd had made for Jennifer which sat next to Carlos and Maria's and was surrounded by the fairies from their old house. He sat down next to her and didn't hesitate to wrap an arm around her shoulders letting her lean her head against him.
"I'm sorry."
"It's not me you should be apologising to."
"I know but I'm still sorry for shouting, I'll apologise to Amelia when we go back in, is she upset?"
"She is yeah but she's with Gabi who I think maybe also deserves an apology; she and Amelia have worked really hard on making that cake and getting lunch ready for us all."
"I didn't mean to get angry, it was just all getting a bit too much and the cake just reminded me of when Mum used to make them at home." A fresh batch of tears trickled down her cheeks and Troy tightened his hold on her.
"I think that's what Amelia was trying to do by making it, chocolate cake always meant something good in your house, I think she just wanted to replicate those feelings for you guys. She said she knew everyone would be sad today but she wanted to do something to make you not as sad."
"I acted like an idiot; must have been channelling my inner Maddie." Troy had to laugh at this.
"Well I must admit that out of the three of you, you weren't the one I expected to be slamming doors today; if doors got slammed at all."
"I know and I really am sorry, I do want to have lunch and try some cake."
"Well then how about we head back inside and you can make this right?" Summer nodded and wiped her hand down her face to rid it of any lingering tears and then allowed Troy to lead her back inside.
She didn't like that she was the reason for her little sister not even looking at her when she walked into the room and hated that she'd let her emotions show themselves in the way they had and that Amelia had taken the brunt of it.
"Amelia?" It took an encouraging nudge from Gabriella but Amelia did slowly turn to look at Summer. "I'm sorry I shouted at you, I let my emotions get the better of me and you took the brunt of it, will you please forgive me?"
"Of course I forgive you." Summer's relief was evident as the two sisters embraced. "You are actually going to have some cake, aren't you? We used the same recipe that Gabi and Maddie used for my birthday cake so it's not exactly the same as Mum's used to be; just a nice reminder of one of her favourite things."
"I can't not have cake can I? You and Gabi put a lot of work into it and it really was a lovely idea Amelia." Happy that her sister had forgiven her Summer turned her attention to Gabriella who was now sat at the table with the others.
"I need to apologise to you as well Gabi, you helped Amelia put a really lovely idea together and I shouldn't have acted how I did, I'm sorry." Gabriella smiled as she stood and pulled Summer into a hug.
"It's okay Summer, you couldn't control the way you acted but you've made it right now and that's all that matters. Just if you feel like you need to shout again, try and aim it at your Uncle or I, we've got thick skin, we can handle it."
"Yeah but that doesn't mean I should shout at you."
"No but I think we'd both rather you shout at one of us than each other." She glanced over at Troy and he simply winked in return; once again Gabriella had proven just how lucky he and the girls were to have her in their lives.
TGTGTGTG
He'd gone out there to have some time to himself, to remember his sister and parents and to do the one thing he'd always done when he didn't know how to handle his emotions; shoot hoops.
He'd been out there for almost an hour when the noise of the ball bouncing had stopped but over five minutes later and Troy hadn't appeared inside and so while the girls and Luke continued to watch a film, Gabriella headed outside to check on him.
She found him sprawled out on the ground, his right arm was covering his face and his breathing was erratic she assumed from his workout but as she got closer she realised that he was crying.
"Oh Troy." She moved to sit down next to him and pulled him into a sitting position; her left leg bent up behind him to give him something to lean against and her right stretched over his lap, bracketing him in. She wrapped her arms around him as tightly as she could; her left hand started running comfortingly through his hair and her right simply ran up and down his side as he held on to her as if his life depended on it and finally allowed his emotions to come out.
"I thought you weren't going to shut me out, I let you come out here because I knew you needed time to yourself but that wasn't so you could let your emotions get the better of you when I wasn't there to offer you comfort like you always have to me."
"I know." His answer was muffled where he'd burrowed himself against her chest. "I genuinely did come out here to shoot hoops, you know that's my way of dealing with things but I may have landed funny after my last shot and that's when things got the better of me; I wouldn't deliberately hide my emotions from you, you know that being in your arms is one of my favourite feelings in the world."
"I do know that because I feel the same about being in yours but lets go back to the part where you landed funny; did you hurt yourself?"
"I think I've tweaked my knee, I was over doing it, it's my own stupid fault."
"You aren't stupid Troy, maybe silly for not stopping sooner and coming to find me for a hug but you aren't stupid."
"I need a shower." He said randomly making her chuckle. "I can't believe you're cuddling me like this; I'm all sweaty and gross."
"You were crying Troy; I wasn't going to not hug you just because of a bit of sweat." He sat up and rubbed a hand down his face before turning and placing a sweet kiss on her lips.
"I don't suppose you want to shower with me do you? Swim suits on of course." With her shoulder healed Gabriella hadn't needed Troy's help in the shower for a while now but there had been a couple of times where he'd persuaded her to don her bikini again and join him; there was something about holding her close with so few clothing barriers that he just couldn't explain.
"Okay but only a quick one, you promised the girls we'd all watch a film together and while we do you're icing your knee; let's try and stop any swelling or pain before it even begins." Gabriella stood up and then helped Troy to his feet, happy to see that he could at least put weight on his left leg.
"I love you 'Brie, thank you for coming to find me and looking after me."
"After all the times you've looked after me recently it's the least I could do but you don't have to thank me, I love you too and I'll always be here to look after you."
TGTGTGTG
Since changing job roles weekends had become his time to lay in, relax and simply go with the flow but when the person he shared a bed with was often up at the crack of dawn; the kind of lay ins Troy wanted rarely got to happen. Waking up with her in his arms didn't always happen, they sometimes rolled apart in the night but waking up to her curled into his side was one of the best feelings in the world and with his emotions still all over the place from yesterday he was hoping that would happen today but unfortunately for Troy; Gabriella was no where to be found.
He tried to go back to sleep but it was no good he was awake now and as he sat up and stretched he was surprised to see it was barely six o'clock. It wasn't unusual for Gabriella to be up that early during the week but on the weekend she tended to stay curled up in bed with Troy for a little while longer; he had the feeling something wasn't quite right with his girlfriend and so he pushed to his feet and went in search of her.
She wasn't in the stables although it was clear she had been, the horses were all busy eating and she had things ready to start cleaning their stables once she'd taken them outside. As he continued through the stables and out of the adjoining barn he was met by Zeus. "Hey buddy, is Gabi out here somewhere?" The German Shepard offered a low bark in return to Troy's question and ear rub before turning and heading back in the direction he'd come from only moments before.
Following Zeus he found her sat on the bench in the Memory Garden with all three dogs sat protectively at her feet while she seemed to be in a complete world of her own. As he got closer and came into her view she reached up and quickly wiped at her eyes; did she really think she could hide her tears from him?
"You weren't there when I woke up." He told her as he sat down next to her and grabbed one of her hands to link them and hold them in his lap.
"That's not unusual Troy."
"No but when it's barely six o'clock on a Sunday morning it is and judging by things in the stables you've been out here a while, what's going on beautiful?"
"Nothing's going on Troy, I just woke up early and couldn't get back to sleep is all so I figured I might as well make a start out here."
"I'm not buying it 'Brie, there's something more to it than that."
"There really isn't."
"So you hadn't been crying before I arrived?" She didn't have an answer to this, she only took a shaky breath and allowed more tears to escape. "Talk to me my love, what's really bothering you." He unlinked their hands and instead pulled her into a hug, lifting her legs to rest over his thighs so that she could get as close as possible and snuggle into his side.
"I thought I'd be able to take care of you guys yesterday without it effecting me but I dreamt about Mum and Dad last night so I guess it got to me more than I thought."
"What was the dream about?"
"Nothing really, I just remember that I was with them."
"How did that make you feel?"
"It felt good in the sense that I felt like I was getting to spend time with them again but at the same time it made me feel guilty that I never told them about my past, I know now that they would have done everything they could to get me out of there and get me justice for what Nick had done to me."
"You shouldn't feel guilty 'Brie, you've said it before you were trapped back then, Nick had a hold over you and you were doing what you thought was best to protect yourself and them; they wouldn't want you to feel guilty for that. They would be proud knowing that you got out and got yourself help and have made this place what it is today." Gabriella curled herself tighter against Troy and he simply tightened his grip around her and let her take from him whatever comfort she needed in that moment.
"If you got the chance to speak to your parents again, what would you say? What things would you tell them?" They'd been sat in silence for a while now but Troy's question caused Gabriella to sit up and run a hand down her face as she thought about her answer.
"I would say thank you to them for buying this place because it gave me somewhere to escape to and allowed me to rebuild my life; things would be totally different if they didn't have this place. I would tell them that I have the most amazing friends and that I'm completely in love with this guy, who along with his three nieces lives here too and on a daily basis they bring so much happiness and joy to my life that I don't know where I'd be without them."
"Geez 'Brie, way to make a guy emotional." Gabriella laughed as she kissed Troy's cheek before cuddling back into his side.
"Well you can't ask a question like that and not expect some kind of emotion to come from it."
"Yeah, I guess I did walk right into that one."
TGTGTGTG
Troy sat on the back steps with Gabriella sat contently between his legs on the step below while Summer and Amelia did their best to tire out the dogs, it was almost time for them to get ready for bed but they both had far to much energy right now to start that process and so Troy had sent them outside with the dogs to try and get their wiggles out.
"Seriously Mads, you'll see him again tomorrow." Maddie stuck her tongue out at Troy as she wiped away the tears that had come when she'd been saying goodbye to Luke.
"It's been an emotional weekend okay? Don't be mean to me." Troy laughed at Maddie as she sat down next to Gabriella but did still reach over to run a comforting hand up and down her back.
"Hey Summer, Amelia can you come and sit with us for a minute please, there's something we want to ask you." The two girls plopped down on the grass in front of the steps and Troy gave Gabriella a squeeze letting her know he wanted her to take the lead on this one.
"So this morning, while you guys were all still in bed, I had a bit of a moment where I was missing my Mum and Dad and after he gave me a cuddle, Uncle Troy asked me a question which did make us both emotional but it also made me happy because it made me realise how far I'd come in life, we want you guys to answer the same question. So Amelia, if you could talk to your Mum right now, what would you tell her?"
"I would tell her that I love her obviously and that we live here now and I have my own room, which doesn't scare me any more and I would tell her how pretty you are and how much I enjoy spending time with you."
"That's really sweet Amelia, thank you." Amelia blew Gabriella a kiss which she caught and held to her chest. "How about you Summer?"
"I would also tell her I love her and then I would tell her how Luna is basically my shadow now and that thanks to spending time here with you, I think I want to work with animals when I'm older."
"That's awesome Sum, I've told you before you're a natural with animals. How about you Mads, what would you say?"
"Well like the girls I'd tell her I love her and then I would tell her I made the cheer team again and that this year my tumbles have really stepped up a gear. And then I would tell her about Luke and that I love him. What about you Uncle Troy? What would you tell Mum?" Troy took a deep breath and Gabriella shifted slightly between his legs so she could see his face when he answered.
"I would tell her how much of an amazing job she did with raising you guys, I really didn't do much in shaping the people you are today; that was all her. I would also tell her that I miss her picking on me and giving me her big sister advice too but then I would tell her that we're doing okay; she doesn't need to worry about us."
"Geez Gabi, why did you have to ask an emotional question when my emotions are already so on edge." Gabriella laughed at Maddie as she reached over to squeeze the teen's hand.
"Don't blame me, it's Uncle Troy's fault for asking me this morning, we were just interested in what you girls would say."
"What did you say you would tell your Mum and Dad Gabi?"
"Well Summer, I guess it is only fair that you guys hear my answer too; I said that I would thank them for buying this place because it gave me somewhere to live and build my life here in Albuquerque. I would tell them how amazing my friends are and how in love I am with your Uncle and how much better my life is now that you guys all live here with me."
"What would you tell Grandma and Grandpa Uncle Troy? We all said what we would tell our parents." Troy gave Maddison a smile as he reached down to hold Gabriella's hands.
"I would tell them that I have met the love of my life and that for the first time in a long time; life finally feels like it's heading in the right direction."
TGTGTGTG
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