Todoroki's P.O.V.
The article announcing my pregnancy will come out tomorrow Shoto.
I looked at the text message, but I couldn't bear to respond. Tomorrow. Does that article make it real? No, it's been real for months. Nejire has begun to show, hiding it much longer would be pointless. She is pregnant with my child. She'll give birth just before I graduate, I will sign the biggest first year Pro hero contract in history, and this perfect life orchestrated by my father will be solidified. The problem is… I want no part in it.
But stepping up isn't a choice, this baby is mine, I must support it and my future mate. Lead the life my father destined me to have. Hado is taking it in strides. Her career momentarily paused, doing her duty as the next up and coming hero's beautiful girlfriend. We are the most popular couple in media right now. She's working hard on her popularity and branding. It's good for her, keeps her busy. Today's the last day of the semester, and I find myself nothing more than antsy. There's excitement in the air, prep for summer vacation and then followed by our last semester at UA. Mr. Aizawa asked us to "spring clean" our dorms, be the adults he has zero confidence we can be. My dorm is immaculate, even without this extra… antsy-ness. The sun is setting and I decided maybe it was best if I did some yoga on the roof to burn off this extra… energy.
I took my mat and walked up the stairs up to the roof access door. I was surprised that it was unlocked. I usually have to pick it. But then I noticed a figure across the way, looking out over the barrier. Izuku. He turned around as soon as I had opened the door, his green eyes pools of sadness.
"Apologies. I was just attempting to get a quiet moment alone." I bowed before turning to leave.
"Wait… don't let me stop you, I certainly don't own the roof." He chuckled softly.
I nodded, closing the door and walking towards him. His scent had a certain sadness to it. It made my heart want to break. I got closer, rolling out the mat when I realized the bottoms of his eyelids were red and puffy. "You've been crying." I commented, looking at him more fully now.
"Oh… yeah… I guess I do that a lot lately these days."
I wasn't sure what to say, where my place was in all this. "Would you… like to talk about it?" I offered him my hand, quite literally helping him down from the ledge. He nodded, swallowing and taking it, letting me help him down and then sitting on the mat with me, leaning our backs against the wall.
"I'm not really sure what to say."
"Say anything." I offered.
"I'm sure you heard the rumors…" I nodded, fairly certain I knew exactly what he was talking about. "They're true… I was… pregnant. I… I miscarried." I nodded, realizing how hard it must have been for him to say those words to me. "It's why I didn't compete in the Sports Festival, and why I haven't been in school much." I nodded again, biting my lip. "Kacchan and I… we aren't doing very well."
"He's not being supportive?" I asked, my need to know overriding my better judgement.
"He tries… but well… emoting anything near like a real human being is a bit difficult for him." I couldn't help but let out a chuckle. I actually think it relaxed Izuku a little bit as he seemed to calm down. "My heats have been… more frequent… more aggressive and lasting longer. And Kacchan's been… avoiding me during them. My body… my mind… I want another baby. I know it's crazy, I'm so young and there's so much time. I have my whole life ahead of me. We both do. But I just… I… I want a baby so bad." He began to sob into his knees. I couldn't help but feel sorry for him. His omega hormones are clouding his judgement, he knows better, but he can't move forward. It's destroying him. I thought of what I would do if I were in the same position as Bakugo. Avoiding him in his state of distress, no… I wouldn't do that. But giving him another baby? I certainly can emphasize with why Katsuki wouldn't want to do that. I wished with my entire being there was something I could do to help.
"I am… so sorry Izuku."
"My doctor thinks I should go on an inhibitor. Stop my hormones from going crazy like this. But that's extreme and dangerous. A testosterone shot is a little safer but maybe less effective. Everything I do affects my long-term fertility. If I have a baby now, if I don't, if I go on the inhibitor, if I get the testosterone shot to get my physique back." Wow, what a hard decision.
"What does Katsuki have to say about all of this?" He was Izuku's chosen mate, as much as my heart ached to admit it.
"He won't say anything about it. Just says it's my choice and gets a guilty look on his face." I nodded, not sure how I would fair if I was in the same position. Maybe wishing I was, hoping that I could have handled it better than this. Actually been there for Izuku in his time of need. That would be different. "I'm sorry, you don't want to hear this. Me whining to you about all my problems."
I looked into his eyes. "No… Izuku, I don't mind, really." I still love you. Is that what love is? Wanting the best for someone, wanting to give them the world, caring for them even if they aren't with you. I don't think Bakugo is what's best for Izuku, I don't know if I am either, but Katsuki is what Izuku wants, and what I want more deeply than anything is for Izuku to be happy. Maybe that is what love is.
"Thank you… Shoto."
"You have nothing to thank me for. It's not like I can make the situation any better."
"But you listened, that means a lot. I can't get Kacchan to spent five minutes with me lately, even less actually listen."
Against my better judgement, I asked the question I've been burning to ask. "Are you… Are you happy with Katsuki?"
His eyes widened before he looked away, biting his lip and playing with his fingers. Maybe I crossed the line. Maybe i- "Yes. I'm… I could be happy with him. It's umm… it's different… than it was when I was with you. Everything between us was so easy, there was no drama. Everything with Kacchan is hard. I… I can still see myself with you. I think about it a lot. That things would be so different with you. But… I know that's not something I can have. And Kacchan and I are good together."
I nodded, looking away, swallowing the lump in my throat. For the first time ever I felt a need to know. Know the answer to a question I never wanted to ask. "So… you're glad you cheated on me with Bakugo?"
"Oh Shoto no."
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked. You're going through so much right now. It's unfair of me to bring up-"
"I never wanted to cheat on you. That was never something I wanted. Do you remember the Shiketsu party?" I nodded, was that really when it all started? "It was a pheromone party… I was in control, but I wasn't. That's when it happened the first time." Wait, the first time? I raised my eyebrows, he understood. "There were a couple of times after that. I knew I was hurting you, I wrestled with it for so long. I just… I didn't know how to tell you." And I found out in the worst way.
"I… would have forgiven you… I think… had you just told me." I'd like to think I would have. His mouth opened in shock. "I would have preferred honesty, though it would have hurt." He was really quiet. I could tell there were a million thoughts running through his head. "And I… forgive you now… if that counts for anything…"
"Shoto."
I sat down on the ground, using the wall of the roof to lean my back on. Izuku joined me and we sat in silence for a long time. "You should really see the new All Might movie. It's a throwback to his glory days. I think you'd really like it."
"I've been so caught up. I didn't even know it was released."
"It's about his time in America, those villains were so intense." I chuckled, hoping to get him to smile a bit. He took the bait. With that… we just talked. All evening. Straight through dinner and beyond. We both were able to… get things out. Maybe even mend the vestiges of our friendship. I felt guilty, not telling him about Nejire, the path my life would soon take. I thought it better not too. To just have one more night where it wasn't all crashing around me. One night of just caring about my first love, enjoying his company. The night was completely innocent. We didn't touch nor hug when I walked him to his door. But in the end he said thank you. And I sincerely hoped that I had helped. Our lives were about to just… drift apart and there was nothing I could do to stop it. At least I had tonight. Tonight, and maybe one day… the hope that we could be friends again. At least… at least I had tonight.
Bakugo's P.O.V.
"You know, you really shouldn't lift that much without a spotter." Maybe if the bar crushes me I can get out of this pile of shit I made for myself.
"Does it look like I care shitty hair?"
"Is there a reason you are up so early on a Saturday morning. The first Saturday of summer by the way."
"Didn't feel like sleepin." I can't sleep any more. My dreams are filled with nothing but guilt and nightmares. But when I'm awake all I do is replay what I should have done to keep Deku safe, beating myself up for what I'm not doing now. It's agony.
"I made you some breakfast, it's probably shit, but I brought you some hot sauce to put on it." I pushed the bar into place and sat up on the bench. Eijiro sat down on the floor next to me, giving me a plate and beginning to eat his. We ate in silence for a long time.
Halfway through the meal I finally said, "You're gonna have to cook way better than this after graduation when we're in a pack. You can't expect me to tough it out through this crap every day." His crimson eyes widened. "What?"
"You still want to me to be in your pack?" I raised my eyebrows. "You just… you haven't said anything since… since Deku lost… you know." He said looking down sadly.
"Yeah well… just because Deku and I are going through shit doesn't mean I'm gonna leave you out in the cold."
He played with an unspiked strand of red hair. "Is he okay? He's missed a lot of school, we've all seen how much weight he's lost and he almost never comes to hero practice."
"His hormones still aren't quite right, and he's gonna make up the work over the summer."
"Kat… are you okay?" No… I'm not. I didn't say anything as Eiji got up and wrapped his arm around me. I felt myself wanting to break. I have to be the Alpha, I have to be the one that holds it together.
"I just want to be alone."
"You can't be. Too many people depend on you. I… depend on you." I knew I wasn't being a good alpha, to him or Deku. But what was I supposed to do? Pretend like nothing happened? Knot Deku and get him pregnant all over again? Take away his future again? I already took Kirishima's. He'll never be able to be with another Alpha as long as he lives. I've already fucked so much up and I haven't even graduated yet. How am I supposed to be a Pro hero, the number one pro, if I just keep failing every omega I love? I'm a shitty fuckin alpha. That's for sure. I hung my head and Eijiro kissed me on the cheek. "Whatever you're thinking, stop. You're the best fuckin alpha. You're trying so hard, you care so much."
I shook my head. "I'm failing. Deku doesn't even know we're bonded. He keeps begging me for a baby, when I can't even suck it up enough to hold him or keep him near."
"Kat…"
"He cries himself to sleep most nights because of me. I can only be around him long enough to scent him and maybe tell him to feel better before the guilt starts eating away at me. I'm being a shit alpha to him Eijiro. Maybe… maybe it would be better if I just… left. Let him live his life and actually heal."
"You leaving… it'd kill him."
"Well what am I supposed to do? It's obvious what I'm doing isn't working!"
"You could… talk to him."
"He's not well Kirishima. His mind can only tell him baby this and baby that. It's even worse when I'm near. He starts kissing me, face full of snot and tears, begging for a knot. Just one knot." I shook my head further, just lost in my thoughts and rambling. Try getting a boner to that. Especially when the last thing you want to do right now is try to have another kid. I haven't gotten a single offer from any agency. Even if I wanted a kid this early in life, how the hell would I support it? How would Deku? Having a baby before he even debuts! He may never make it as a pro, or even have a shot at it. So what the hell am I supposed to do? It… its irresponsible. We already caught a break once…
"Do you want to be with Deku? For the long haul I mean… marry him? A claim could… ease his mind… sooth him maybe…"
"That's claiming for all the wrong reasons."
"Is it? You claimed me for less."
"You're gonna be with me for the rest of my life Eijiro. This is different." I dismissed.
"Marrying Deku is different? Different than claiming me?" I wasn't sure what he was asking or why he had that sad look in his eyes.
"I need to think." I said pacing back and forth.
"Sorry I just… you two can't keep going like this. Hurting each other like this. Look at how you finished this semester. I… I know about the lack of offer letters. I talked to Fat gum, he said if you-"
"I get it Kirishima. I gotta get my act together or else I'll be a fuckin failure and drag this pack down with me. I got it!" I sneered, barely realizing my fangs had come out.
"You're going to be one of the greatest heroes the world has ever seen. You just… you need to do the right thing… the heroic thing, and everything will work out." Yeah but… what is the right thing? Marrying Deku, giving him a baby along with every other crazy and far-fetched thing he's ever wanted. Maybe… but…
"What if I fail?"
He shook his head, giving me a shark teethy smile. "You're not gonna fail. You're Katsuki Bakugo. The greatest ever. You'll figure it out. I know you will. And… well I'm always gonna be here, right next to you. So there's that too." I tried to smile, letting him give me a much needed and welcome hug. I had to get my shit together. For him. For Deku. For our future pack and family. Alright. I will then. That's what I'll do. I'll get it together. For our future. I have to do the right thing.
Midoriya's P.O.V.
Knock. Knock. I got up and opened my dorm room door, shocked to see Kacchan standing before me, a bag of takeout in his hand. "Hey." I felt myself squeak.
"Have you had lunch yet?" He asked, walking past me, putting the food on my desk.
"Umm… no. I haven't felt much like eating lately." I mumbled, closing the door and making my way back to my bed. I'm not actually sure the last time I ate. Maybe breakfast yesterday? I'm not sure at all.
"Yeah, I noticed." He said handing me a box.
"This is from…"
"Your favorite place back in Mustafa, yeah. I got you a few to put in the fridge, maybe it would make you feel better or whatever." He said, picking up his own box and beginning to eat. Katsudon… my favorite.
"Thank you." He nodded, sitting at the desk. We ate in silence for a few minutes, then he snarled.
"The hell is this?" He asked picking up this month's edition of Hero Magazine that came out today. Todoroki and Nejire are engaged and having a baby. That was the front cover story. A whole big article about him too. I… talked to him for hours last night. He didn't say a single word about it.
"I'm… happy for him." I said genuinely. I am happy for him. Truly. I just… wonder if he's happy. At all.
"He's a fag, I'm surprised he could even get it up." Kacchan muttered, throwing the magazine in the garbage. Not burning it or anything, which meant he was at least trying today. Bringing me lunch, not destroying my property… is something going on?
"Are you breaking up with me?"
Kacchan looked shocked by my question, but then immediately fixed his face into a glare. "Of course not shitty nerd. I'm… providing for you."
"Providing for me?"
"Like an alpha should. Like I haven't been. That's… that's gonna change."
"Kacchan." He got up and sat next to me, putting out food away and holding my hand instead.
"I wanna do better. I gotta do better."
"Kacchan, I don't understand."
"You've… you've always been so good to me. I've always been crap to you. Honestly, I don't even know why you're with me, you deserve better. But uh… that's what I'm gonna do… be better. Cause it's what you deserve… yeah. I… I haven't been there for you like I should have been. You've been hurting for me, and I just want to grieve on my own. Been grieving on my own."
"You've been grieving?" I asked, tears coming to my eyes. I had no idea… if anything… I got the feeling he was relieved.
"What you think I wanted to lose our baby? I want nothing more than to have a baby with you Deku." I started to cry, my hormones made it too easy and I just… I still felt that pain too strongly.
"Then why won't you now?" I heard myself say, for probably the thousandth time to Kacchan.
"Because we're too young. Haven't even graduated high school yet. It's not time."
"I might never have another time." Something else I've said a million times to him. I felt my eyes go over to the magazine cover in the trashcan. Todoroki's fake smile as he 'proudly' puts his hand to Nejire's small pregnant belly. Kacchan noticed.
"You want what they have."
"Of course I do!" I blurted before I could even contain it.
"Well we can't. I haven't gotten a single offer yet and you… it's all gonna get rescinded once they find out you're pregnant. Todoroki comes from money; he'll be fine in his stupid little fake world. We'll have real problems, real struggles Deku. And what about your dream? What about mine?"
"You… you haven't gotten an offer… from any agency?"
He looked down. "Not even for sidekick work." He balled his fist, looking away from me. "How am I supposed to provide for you… our kid… give you the wedding you deserve… if I can't even get a job after graduation."
"Kacchan."
"I want to give you everything you want Deku. I will provide for you, for our family."
"You keep saying us… ours… like… like you actually want a future with me." I suddenly realized.
"Yeah… I know." He shoved his hand in his pocket and pulled out a velvet box, putting it in my hands. "The takeout wasn't the only reason I went to Mustafu today." I opened the box. An antique green-emerald wrapped around a silver band. An engagement ring. "I guess… it was your grandma's. Your mom wanted me to have it when I asked for her blessing."
"Kacchan, are you…" I trailed off, unable to finish the sentence, crying to a whole different reason now.
"Asking you to marry me?" I nodded. "Yeah, nerd… I guess am."
"Kacchan!" I pulled him into a kiss, unable to control my emotion. "Yes! Yes, I will." Kacchan turned red, pulling away from me to put the ring on my finger.
"I'm gonna give you the life you want Deku, I just need you to be patient with me alright? If you marry me… after we debut and have some stability, hell we can have an many pups as you want okay? I just… you gotta give me some time, give us some time."
I nodded, knowing in the back of my mind he was right. Trying to think clearly. Maybe taking some of Todoroki's advice from last night. "I'll umm… maybe I'll just get the testosterone shot… get back in shape. It's a little safer… than the inhibitor."
"I think that's a good choice."
"Train this summer… get back on track."
"I'll help you. Be here for you this time Deku, I mean it." He said, holding my hands once more.
"We'll graduate, debut, then… get married."
"As soon as you want. Anything you want Deku."
"I want a family… with you Kacchan."
"I'll give you that." He assured. I cuddled into his chest and he welcomed me with open arms. This was… everything I've wanted… everything I've been hoping for from him. Maybe… just maybe, everything is going to turn out alright.