I killed my mother
Reyna stared down at her hands, shock still fresh in her mind. The golden ichor felt like it had permanently seeped into her skin. It didn't matter how much she wiped it on her pants or tried to wash her hands. It was still there. Reyna closed her eyes tightly and vainly tried to calm her racing heart.
Her palms were sweating, and it was becoming harder to breathe. It sounded like the other peacekeepers were talking, but it was just garbled noise in Reyna's ears. Reyna closed her eyes and dug her fist into the table. She needed to focus.
"Does that really solve the Camp Half-Blood problem?" Beleza questioned. Reyna looked at the woman and tried to tune back into the conversation. Instead, she was met with a fierce headache. Reyna looked back at the table and closed her eyes tightly.
Reyna almost cursed as another sharp bullet of pain shot through her head. She leaned against the table and heard someone say her name. Reyna forced her eyes open, but the bright light almost blinded her. She turned her head and felt adrenaline rush through her veins.
They were just talking. There was no war. There was no battle. She just needed to shape up and listen to the conversation. That was the only thing that she needed to do. Reyna tried to take deep breaths, and she was vaguely aware of grabbing the attention of everyone in the room. Her eyes closed once again.
"Do you truly think you can trust these people?" a voice asked. Reyna's eyes snapped open. This voice wasn't garbled like the other peacekeepers. It wasn't coming from the outside either. No. This voice was coming from inside her head, and she knew exactly who it was. "Missed me?"
Reyna blinked and a man appeared across from her. He met her eyes and smiled. One hand ran through his black hair, and he stared at her with golden eyes. Reyna stared at him and felt like the walls were closing in. Her hands began to shake.
The Titan smiled at her, and all Reyna could do was glare at the Lord of Time. Reyna forced her eyes closed and counted to ten. When she opened her eyes, Kronos was still there, smiling at her. None of the peacekeepers looked at him. Which meant he wasn't there. No. He was in Reyna's head. She had removed him, hadn't she?
How could he be back? How could he be in her head? Kronos studied her and titled his head. Then, he slowly walked around the table until he stopped in front of her. His hand moved to her face. A cruel grin broke onto his features.
"You can't be here," Reyna whispered, and her gaze focused on Kronos.
"Oh, I am a part of you," Kronos mocked. He grabbed her jaw. His touch was as cold as the void. "I'm right here, in the deepest, darkest pit of your mind. I would rather visit you in your dreams, but I don't think I could match the nightmares that you already see. And, you haven't gotten much sleep lately, have you? Sins of the past still haunting you?"
If the walls felt like they were closing in before, they now felt like they were collapsing onto her. It felt like something was squeezing the air out of her lungs. Reyna had to get out of here. She pushed herself away from the table and slammed into the door. Reyna stumbled out of the room.
Kronos couldn't be back. He was gone. He was rotting in Tartarus where he belonged. There was no way that he was in her head taunting her again. Reyna tried to repeat these words to herself. She wandered aimlessly down the hall as red clouded her vision. It almost looked like blood.
Reyna felt her hand along the wall and came to a door. She struggled to find the handle and opened it. Then, she slammed the door shut and collapsed against it. Reyna stared at the mirror in front of her. A chuckle to her side caused chills to run down her spine.
"Did you actually think that you could get rid of me?" Kronos derided. He grabbed Reyna's face and forced her to look at him. "I am so proud of you. Look how much you have grown since we last spoke. Now, you are an emperor. You control an army, and you killed a god. A few steps closer to becoming just like me.
"Let me back in," Kronos whispered. "We can crush those demigods that betrayed and tortured you. We can win this last war. And, we will change the world forever. One last time, old friend."
"Rot in Tartarus!" Reyna snapped. She made it to her feet and grabbed onto the sink with both hands. Reyna slowly turned it on and threw water in her face. When she looked up, the little breath that she had in her body left her.
"I'm already there, and I'm waiting for you," Kronos teased. Reyna couldn't move as gold slowly circled around her pupils. "Do you know what the Olympians have planned for you? Even before you killed your mother, they feared you. If you cannot kill a champion, you cast them into Tartarus. That has always been their plan for you. Death couldn't take you, so all they can do is lock you away."
Reyna could only watch as gold fully consumed her eyes. Rage filled her chest. How could Kronos be back in her head? She had worked too hard to have Kronos come back. Reyna took her damned medicine, she did her best to keep calm, and she tried to keep her anger inside. But it didn't work. It never fucking did.
"Leave me alone!" Reyna yelled. She slammed her fist into the mirror and watched it crack. Pain invaded her knuckles, but she kept it buried in the cracked mirror, scared to pull her hand away. What if Kronos' reflection was still there. The door behind Reyna opened, but she didn't turn.
"What's wrong?" Zara asked quietly. Reyna remained silent and heard the sounds of her own labored breathing. She didn't hear Zara's footsteps. After a few moments, Reyna lowered her fist and stared down at the blood and glass on the sink. "Was it the voices?"
Reyna didn't answer. When she had told any one of her so-called friends about hearing the voices, they seemed to distrust her more. The peacekeepers wouldn't be any different. Reyna closed her eyes and wrapped her bloody hand in her shirt.
"That shirt isn't clean. Let me get you a towel," Zara said. Reyna could hear Zara walk up next to her, but she didn't grab her. "I'm going to get a towel. Pia will probably check on you too. Do you want me to send her away?"
"I don't need anything," Reyna muttered. She turned away and found the doctor standing at the door. Pia's eyes flickered to the window and then to Reyna's hand.
"Pia, can we have a moment alone?" Zara asked. Pia nodded and disappeared from the doorway. "I know you don't want help, and we're not going to force you to accept it. I just want you to know that I can relate to how you feel. The voices always start up just when you think you have found peace."
"I haven't found peace," Reyna hissed, glaring at Zara. Reyna gripped her hand tightly. "This has only made things worse. I never should have killed my mother. I should have just walked away when I was given the chance. There's no walking away for me now."
"There is," Zara said. "Burza or Dominic will happily take the credit for what happened to Bellona. We can take some of the blood from your hand, put it on your face, tie you up, and drop you off somewhere. The Sixth Legion will think that you narrowly escaped, and you can rest with them."
"I know there is a conflict within you, Reyna. Hell, I'm sure there are more conflicts going on in your head now than I have fingers. We were all there before," Zara continued. "I loved Camp Half-Blood with all of my heart and soul. It was my home. I would never do anything to see it harmed."
"You're going to kill the demigods who try to stop you, and they are from Camp Half-Blood," Reyna snapped. "I'm not some idiot! So just stop lying to me!"
"I'm not lying," Zara insisted, and she met Reyna's eyes. "The others don't want me to tell you this yet, but we have to trust you, even if you don't trust us. We have a plan for the barrier. Not to destroy it. No, we want to amplify the strength of the barrier so that it keeps monsters out and demigods in. That way, no one from Camp Half-Blood can stop us."
"What happens after the demigods break out?" Reyna demanded.
"If everything goes according to plan, we will have already destroyed the Olympians and taken their powers. Olympus will be closed off. The demigods won't have any options," Zara explained.
"They could just try to bring the gods back or storm Olympus," Reyna argued. She shook her head and heard a buzzing in her ear. Reyna closed her eyes tightly.
"Do you know why we are going to do this?" Zara asked quietly. She walked away and sat against the wall. "It's not because we hate the gods, but that is a big part. We have all suffered some kind of injustice thanks to them. We're not the only ones though. How many lives have the gods ruined? Whether it be mortals, demigods, or their fellow immortals. For all the great that the gods may have brought, it has been followed by ruin."
"They said that empires take a century to rise but a day to fall. That's not true. It may take a day for the last blow to hit, but that fall began long ago. It is a slow rot, a cancer, that infests itself in the empire. For Greece, it was pride. For Rome, it was corruption. Once it starts to take root, it will spread. The gods have their own rot as well. It's power, greed, and corruption. And they haven't once faced the consequences."
"The truth is that not just anyone can take out the Olympians. Other minor gods could, along with the Titans. Demigods are different. They walk with one foot in each life: mortal and immortal. With our strings, we lean more to the side of the immortals. They have their strings. That is why they are so powerful, yet so vulnerable."
"When someone has power and it goes unchecked, that is how tyrants are made. And, the gods are just immortal tyrants," Zara muttered. "We are just trying to do what we think is right, or we are going to die trying."
Reyna remained silent. She sat against the opposite wall and gripped her hand tightly. She didn't want to fight in these wars anymore, but she just kept getting dragged back into them. Reyna wanted to live a normal life. She just wanted to be happy for once. How the hell was she going to accomplish that by going against the gods? Then again, she wasn't happy trying to help the damned immortals in the first place. It didn't matter what Reyna did. She could never win.
"Please just let Pia look at your hand. I'm worried about how much blood you have lost in the past few days," Zara said softly. It took a minute for Reyna to look up. Zara watched her in concern.
"Fine," Reyna muttered. Zara quickly stood and left the bathroom. Reyna laid her head back against the wall and tried to ignore the pain in her fist. She was starting to shake slightly. Pia stepped into the bathroom a moment later and knelt by Reyna.
Reyna slowly unwrapped her hand from her shirt and held it out. Pia gently grabbed her hand and studied it. A small frown came to her face. Then, Pia ran her fingers across the small gashes and cuts all over Reyna's hand and muttered a few words under her breath.
Reyna hissed as the remaining glass fell out of hand and to the ground. Then, the cuts started to heal. Pia finished but didn't let go of her hand. Reyna tensed as Pia slowly turned her hand around and placed two fingers to her wrist. Reyna jerked her hand away.
"You were hurt badly there," Pia noted.
"It's fine," Reyna muttered. She looked at the scar on her wrist from where Atropos, disguised as a soothsayer, cut into it. The same cut was the reason she couldn't destroy Ouranos and had to use Kronos for help. It was the same reason she couldn't get Kronos out of her head.
"Scars on the heart take a very long time to heal," Pia noted. She sat down in front of Reyna. "That is why you do not trust us, and I cannot blame you. I took a long time to trust the others, but we were all stuck one way or another."
"With your strings. Do you not age?" Reyna asked. Pia shook her head, and she looked wistful.
"Some say we stop aging the day we are supposed to die. Others say it is the day we get our string. With how young demigods die, how are we supposed to know?" Pia whispered. She shook her head. "I have no desire to kill anyone. I just want to help, to heal. Somehow, that made me an enemy to the gods. How could they think I wanted to be greater than them when all I want to do is help people?"
Pia sighed in anger. She then took a deep breath. "I'm sorry. This is not about me. May I look at your hand? Just for a second?"
Reyna hesitated, but at the same time, what did she have to lose? She couldn't fully clench her fist. Reyna could barely close her fist enough to hold her sword. She finally nodded and watched Pia closely. Pia gently cupped her hand and stared down at her wrist.
"If this hurts, let me know," Pia said softly. Reyna nodded. Pia slowly moved her hand to Reyna's wrist. A frown came to the healer's face. "Extensive damage. It's like everything in your wrist was once rendered useless. I can see where the nerves and muscles were never fully repaired."
"A doctor never properly looked at it," Reyna said softly. "When it was first injured, I passed out from blood loss. I think I was given nectar and ambrosia, but I'm not sure. There came a time where I could decide to repair my hand or save my sister. How the fuck could I not choose to save my sister?"
"Repair your hand? How?" Pia questioned. Reyna closed her eyes. By the time the doctors at Camp Jupiter examined her, she had more injuries for them to work on, and they had to split their attention between plenty of patients. The first real doctor to look at her hand was Avaris, but it was too late for the doctor of the Sixth Legion to do anything.
"With the water from the fountain of Juturna," Reyna answered quietly. "Hylla had been dying at the time by poison. I was told by Rhea and a goddess named Adrestia that I could save my sister with the waters or find the stupid piece of Kronos' sword. I told them I would find the sword, and they offered me the chance to do both. But, they didn't offer to help. If that damned sword was so important, why wouldn't they help?"
"Then, I found that stupid sword piece and barely made it to the fountain in time. Juturna and Janus confronted me. They told me that I could use that water to save my sister or repair my hand. Juturna warned me that my hand would drive me to madness," Reyna muttered. Pia didn't say a word. She just let Reyna rant.
"I always thought it was the Schizophrenia that they were talking about. Hearing the voices and seeing things that weren't real, but I had medicine for that. I took that medicine, but it never really got better," Reyna continued. "The madness it drove me to was to allow Kronos to use me as a vessel. All because my hindered hand wouldn't let me destroy Ouranos."
"Juturna said that Bellona knew the war that would rage in my mind, and it scared her. If the gods knew this, why didn't they help me? Why didn't they save my sister or give me a second vial of water, so I could use my hand?" Reyna asked herself.
"Zara showed me the video. She showed my mother stating they wanted me to die defending Camp Jupiter. That way I would go down a hero. Who would have saved them after that? Percy Jackson and Annabeth Chase? But, there was the prophecy. Was I not the hero in the prophecy? But if I was, why wouldn't the gods offer just one damn bit of help?"
"Giving me strength is barely helping. It may have kept me going, but I was the one who was doing everything. Rhea told me not to become bitter before, but why shouldn't I be? After everything that I have done, why couldn't they help me?" Reyna asked. She laid her head back against the wall and sighed angrily.
Reyna's eyes flickered towards Pia. The doctor was just studying her hand. Pia spoke, "I assume you can't just walk up to the spring and get the water. You must go through the goddess to get it."
"Yeah," Reyna muttered.
"Of course," Pia said. She frowned. "I wish I could do something for your hand, but I can't."
"I know," Reyna muttered. She retracted her hand and slowly stood. Reyna didn't feel angry anymore. In fact, she felt a little better. It felt nice to be able to rant and not have someone tell her it's going to be okay. It felt amazing that Pia didn't flinch or look at her differently.
"I want to try though," Pia said. Reyna glanced back at her. "I'm going to research ways to try and heal your hand. Until then, you need to get some sleep. I already told the others they need rest as well. Then, we can make our plan."
"Or just keep pushing it off," Reyna muttered. She walked out of the bathroom and found that Zara was waiting a few feet away. Beleza stood next to her and was examining her nails.
"We keep pushing it off because making a plan makes all of this official," Pia said softly. "And, I think everyone is scared. We know we are doing what is best, but we also don't know what's going to happen. It scares us. Making the plan and putting it into action makes all of this a reality."
Reyna didn't respond. She found herself tensing up as Beleza pushed herself off of the wall. Reyna expected to be questioned about where she had disappeared to. Instead, Beleza reached into her pocket and pulled out a string.
"Here," Beleza said. She held the string out. Reyna hesitated. Was this some kind of weird trust thing? "You'll want to keep a good hold on this."
Reyna slowly reached out for the string. As her fingers brushed against it, she received a flash of images. Puerto Rico. Circe's Island. And the Amazons. Reyna's hand shot around the string, and she practically tore it from Beleza's grip. Reyna cradled her sister's string.
"How did you get this?" Reyna questioned. She slowly looked at Beleza.
"From Eris. She received it from Eirene, who got it from your mother," Beleza explained. "It sounds like your mother stole this from the Fates. When is not something that we can tell you, but Eris kind of shoved a bunch of strings into our hands when Eirene was forced to give us our strings back."
"Why would my mother give it to Eirene?" Reyna questioned. She cradled her sister's string. Would the Fates punish Hylla for this? Why did Bellona take the string? A million questions ran through Reyna's head. Instead, she leaned against the wall.
"You could have threatened me with this," Reyna muttered. She looked up at the peacekeepers. "You could have forced me to help you, but you didn't."
"We want you to help us. Not because you are forced to, but because you believe in our cause," Beleza said. She gently grabbed Reyna's shoulder. "Come. If anyone needs sleep, it's you."
Reyna didn't argue. She followed behind Beleza and just held her sister's string close. Why was this not with the Fates? What would happen if Reyna kept it? She couldn't let Hylla be punished for this. Reyna shook her head and just rolled the string in her fingers.
Beleza led Reyna towards a room. As she walked, she spoke, "We don't have any open beds other than the one in the infirmary with Burza. Theo offered for you to have his bed while he stays in the infirmary bed."
"He doesn't have to," Reyna began.
"It's not a problem. Besides, he has the most comfortable bed," Beleza said. Reyna nodded. She wasn't going to argue. Reyna had only been awake for a couple of hours, but she was exhausted. Between killing her mother, still being half in shock, and seeing Kronos, Reyna just needed to close her eyes and try to sleep.
Beleza stopped at a room and pushed the door open. Reyna glanced inside the room. There were two beds, and each bed had its own dresser and a small table. There was a picture on each table, and a look at each showed that the picture was the same: Zara and Theo standing outside a cabin at Camp Half-Blood.
"I think Zara is the quietest sleeper too, when she's not having nightmares. Granted, none of us are quiet when those happen," Beleza said. She looked at Reyna. "You'll probably be awake around dinner. What would you like?"
"It doesn't matter," Reyna muttered after a moment. She slipped her sister's string into her pocket and slowly started to take off her armor. Instead of responding, Beleza turned and left the room. Reyna heard the door shut. She waited a few moments before finishing taking off all of her armor.
Reyna dropped the armor to the ground and took her sword off of her belt. Reyna dropped her sword on the bed and collapsed into the bed next to it. She didn't bother wrapping herself up in the blanket. Instead, she wrapped one arm around her sword and pulled it closer. Her other hand grabbed Hylla's string from her pocket and held it close to her chest. Then, she fell into an uneasy sleep.