AN: Greetings all, after 6 long years of hiatus I am finally back with a new chapter to this cracktastic disaster. Sorry I've out of action for so long, but thankfully I revisited this site out of nostalgia during New Year's and rekindled my passion to write!
I haven't written anything in so long so bear with me if the writing is a little off.
Hopefully though, you'll still enjoy this train wreck.
Tsunade has dealt with more than a fair share of problems as the fifth Hokage – from handling Naruto's inane pranks every now and then, to defusing a village invasion, and even fighting for the state of the world in the fourth shinobi war – she thought she had seen it all.
That is, until this manic sociopath returned to the village.
Sasuke sat facing the Hokage's desk for the 14th time this year. He looked completely unbothered as always, his expression blank, arms crossed over his chest, legs spread wide apart – you'd think the office was his.
What an infuriating little brat.
She glared at him accusingly, hoping to flesh out the tiniest sign of anxiety or guilt. Instead, he lamely raised a brow in question, taunting her.
This little bitch –
"Are you aware of why I called you here?"
"Not at all, actually." He shrugged.
"This!" She roared and slammed a piece of paper on the opposite end of her desk, unintentionally chipping off pieces of wood.
Shizune could only stand and watch helplessly in the corner, careful as to not get caught in the crossfire. She wanted to remind the Hokage they couldn't afford to replace yet another desk. Aside from boasting the reputation of being the Hokage who almost gambled away the village, Tsunade also held the record of destroying the most number of desks in Hokage history.
"The Hyuuga have filed a restraining order against you."
"What?" Sasuke frowned. "Whatever for?"
"For harassing the Hyuuga heiress."
"That's preposterous. I did no such thing."
At this point she could feel steam coming out of her ears and the vein in her temple throbbing out of control, ready to burst at any moment.
"We have witnesses." She seethed through gritted teeth.
"How reliable." He scoffed, his tone mocking.
"Excuse me?" Shizune winced as she watched her mentor bury her fingers into the hardwood, her aura thick with malicious intent.
"How could you trust the words of civilians who are so easily swayed by threats and material things?"
"Which reminds me," Tsunade pulled out her desk drawer with so much force that she had dislodged it from its place. Shizune sighed.
"You were also," She fished out another document from the broken drawer and slammed it next to the restraining the order.
"Charged with attempting to bribe their guards."
"Hmph." Sasuke shook his head. "This is tragic. I had no idea Konoha had such a fragmented justice system."
Tsunade's brow twitched.
"Whatever happened to innocent till proven guilty? I am appalled by these despicable accusations. I am a war veteran you know. I risked my life for the good of the world. I wouldn't stoop to such lengths."
Seeing Tsunade quaking with rage and her eyes darkening with bloodlust, Shizune felt that she had no choice but to step in. She did not want Tsunade to end up adding yet another feather to her cap as the Hokage who ended an entire bloodline by snapping the neck of the Uchiha clan's lone survivor.
"Tsunade-sama, perhaps you should continue this another time." Shizune chuckled awkwardly, nervous beads of sweat rolling down her forehead.
"I agree, you seem frazzled." Sasuke leaned forward, propping his chin on his fist as he squinted at the fuming woman. "Oh my, could it be that you're menopausal? But you're way past the age –"
Shizune sighed heavily as she watched Tsunade fling her desk across the room with a resounding battle cry, smashing into the dark haired man.
There goes another expensive desk.
Sasuke groaned as he walked out of the Hokage tower, aggressively spitting out the chips of wood stuck between his teeth and picking out the splinters that punctured skin.
He didn't expect his meticulous revenge plan to be foiled so quickly. He severely underestimated the likes of the Hyuuga clan. As well as Tsunade's patience.
It is an annoying drawback, but no matter. He will just have to alter his approach the next time around. Perhaps he should recruit some grunts to do his dirty work. Unfortunately, he was fairly certain that none of the namby pamby morons in Konoha would share his passion for revenge. Especially since it's directed to that sickeningly sweet woman.
"Ano, Sasuke?" His musings were interrupted by a painfully familiar voice.
He whipped his head towards that irritatingly gentle sound, his expression contorting into a deep, hateful scowl as his obsidian eyes were met with ivory.
"Beautiful day you're ruining, Hyuuga." He grumbled as he turned away and stomped in the opposite direction.
"Wait!" Hinata hurried after him, despite the atmosphere of imminent danger.
"Please, let's just talk this out."
"For what, so your family can sue me for polluting the air around you?"
"Please," She reached out and grabbed his wrist, stopping him in his tracks. "Hear me out."
He peered over his shoulder intending to glare daggers and hiss at her, but the moment he laid eyes on her staring up at him with those wide eyes filled with remorse as she guiltily chewed on her bottom lip waiting for him to respond he felt his resolve whisk away with the warm afternoon breeze.
It's not fair.
Sasuke sighed, ruffling his hair in frustration as he turned to face her.
"What." He spat.
"I swear to you, t-this wasn't my intention. I never meant for you to – "
"That crazy old woman threw a table at me, Hinata." He plucked a piece of wood from his scalp and flicked it her way. "If I hadn't gotten out of there when I did that ogre would've killed me."
"I am so sorry," She sank into her clothes and averted her gaze, restlessly twiddling with her thumbs. "I never wanted to file a restraining order against you, I just wanted a warning to be issued. But my father…"
"Ah, of course. Innocent little princess Hinata doesn't have a single bad bone in her body, right? It's always somebody else's blame." He grimaced as he looked her up and down.
"Do you have any idea how awful it is for an innocent man like me to be wrongfully accused?"
"What are you even saying?" Hinata snapped back, her brows knitted in confusion. "You were basically bullying me!"
Sasuke cocked his head back and gaped at her in shock, his hand was pressed against his chest as though he had a taken a stake to the heart.
"In what way exactly, did I bully you?"
"You sent crows to mess with me! For days I had them pecking on head and picking on my hair, some of them even pooped on me!"
Sasuke's lips twitched as he struggled to suppress a satisfied smirk.
"And you just assumed that was my doing? I am not responsible for all the delinquent birds in this village."
"You took me out for lunch and sneaked laxatives into my food! I spent the whole day running back and forth to the toilet."
"Ah, so now I am responsible for your irritable bowels as well? Wow." Sasuke clicked his tongue. "To think I spent all that money to take out to a nice place."
"It was a roadside stall that served war veterans free of charge!" She was practically shouting at point, completely disregarding the fact that they were smack in the middle of the streets, getting curious looks from the pedestrians.
"Nothing's ever good enough for you, eh princess?"
"You–!" Hinata glowered up at him and poked a finger into his chest. "I am trying to have a civil conversation with you so we can move past this, why are you being so difficult?!"
"Civil?" Sasuke wrapped his hand around her tiny finger as he bent down to her eye level, pressing his forehead against hers as they faced off in a ferocious glaring battle.
"You're the one who's making me out to be some diabolical villain, misinterpreting my kind gestures for acts of savagery."
"You can try all you want to hide it but I know you!"
"Oh, do you?"
"Yes, I do! You're lashing out because you're angry at me!"
"Oh please, I am not a child. I am not going to throw a tantrum just because you ripped my heart out and stuffed it up my ass."
"You know, I was going to ask Hokage-sama to rescind that restraining order, but now I think my father had the right idea!"
"Fine then, while you're at it why don't you report me for treason for daring to talk back to the great Hyuuga heiress?"
"I will!"
"Fine."
"Fine!"
The two panted heavily, having exhausted their lung capacity after a rather fierce exchange. Their now sweaty foreheads remained stuck together, their eyes still locked as they were catching their breath.
"Hey," Sasuke whispered, his gaze slowly shifting to her trembling lips.
"… Want to make out?"
"N-No!" Hinata pushed against his shoulders, creating much needed distance between them.
Well, it was worth a shot.
"You're horrible." She huffed, throwing one last dirty look his way before storming off into the crowd of disappointed villagers who had hoped that they would put on more of a show. There wasn't much drama to go around now that the world is at peace.
Sasuke sighed, staring longingly at the empty space in front of him with an uneasy feeling welling up in his chest.
Romantic revenge was harder than he thought.
The day his wife gave birth to a little baby girl, was the second darkest day in Hyuuga Hiashi's lifetime. It wasn't because he was sexist or anything, he was just… scared.
He didn't know how to raise a daughter.
The day his wife passed away and left him with not one but two whole daughters, was without a doubt, the darkest of his days – not only because he had lost the love of his life but because he had absolutely no idea of what to do with the two little girls he held in his arms.
One was a curious, cheerful little toddler with eyes that took up half her face – a spitting image of her beautiful mother. The other was a grumpy, gassy little infant who kept rolling her eyes at the sight of him.
What was a clueless patriarch to do?
He ended up raising them just as his father had raised him, with hard knocks and tough love, until one fine day,
"Screw you, old man! I hate you and that cardboard cut-out you call a face!" Hanabi growled as she threw a wooden katana at him and marched out of the dojo.
He stood there, dumbfounded, unable to process what had transpired. Then he felt calloused, stubby fingers grabbing on to his hand. He looked down at his eldest daughter smiling kindly at him, her eyes filled with warmth. He felt the icy exterior that enveloped his heart slowly melt away.
That was the day he realised that he didn't want his children to resent him the way he resented his father.
He had changed drastically since then, softening up to the role of a single father to two very different but equally wonderful daughters.
Admittedly it's far from easy. Till date he still struggles to deal with their female burdens.
Especially, regarding matters of the heart.
Hiashi carefully peeked through the gap between the shoji doors of his daughter's bedroom, observing her silently as she rummaged through a box of knickknacks with a sad look on her face.
"I know you're there, otou-san."
Hiashi nearly stumbled over.
"You can come in."
"Hn," he cleared his throat as he slid open the doors and cautiously stepped into her room. He knelt to a seated position next to her, curiously inspecting the strange objects she was shuffling through.
"You look troubled."
"No, not at all." Hinata mustered a half hearted smile, but her eyes were solemn.
"I am just… going through some of Sasuke's 'gifts'."
Hiashi raised a quizzical brow as he scanned through the many oddities littered in her box. He picked up a waxy looking figurine of what seems to be an obese infant with wings.
"It is… strange what you youngsters pass off as gifts these days."
"That's actually soap." Hinata giggled. "He brought it back from an inn he stayed at during one of his missions."
"And what's this?" Hiashi held up a smooth, amber coloured stone that spotted a varied spectrum of colour when held in different angles. "Some sort of gemstone?"
"That's just a stone he picked up at a beach near Tsukigakure. He said he thought of me when he saw it because it was pretty." She stared at the stone in reminiscence. "It was sweet."
"That scoundrel gifted you a piece of rubble and you say it is sweet?"
"Otou-san." Hinata looked down at her lap, frowning. "I know you never liked Sasuke, but I love him."
He dreaded the fact that she spoke in present tense. Obviously, she still had lingering feelings for that rascal despite her resolve to end their romantic relations.
"He's an eccentric, but he's a good person."
Is he though? Hiashi strongly doubted that there was ounce of redeeming quality in that man. As much as he wanted to respect his daughter's life decisions – because all the parenting books say that he should – it was extremely difficult to hold his tongue whenever the topic of that madman came up.
"That's why… I'd like for you to retract that restraining order."
"I couldn't possibly have heard you correctly." Hizashi stared at his daughter in utter disbelief. "He tortured you for days! I am not going to let that man do as he pleases and risk your safety."
"He's not dangerous! And it's not fair to impose those restrictions on him in this small village."
"You're being too considerate. Besides, he could always move to another village."
"Please, trust me." Hinata took her father's hand in hers, squeezing gently. "I want to handle this my way."
Hiashi sighed, nodding in defeat.
If only there were parenting books on how to turn you children into aromantic asexuals.
Hinata has been staring blankly at the front door of her ex-boyfriend's apartment for about 15 minutes now.
Her right hand was balled into a fist, shakily hovering over the door while her left arm hugged the box of her once most cherished possessions to her chest.
A part of her desperately wanted to hold on to all these memories. Each time she looked at them, she would feel this tightness in her chest, a mixture of joy and devastation. She would remember the times they spent together, the good and the bad. More often than not, she would end up crying, conflicted about her choices – a voice in her head would question her decision to break up with him, whilst another would reprimand her for not doing it sooner.
She was so sure of herself the day she decided to end things. She wanted to stay that way.
Memories are nice, but that's all they are. The reality is, their relationship wasn't healthy.
She needed to move on with her life, to better things. No matter how painful the process may be.
She breathed a heavy sigh and willed herself to knock on the door, repressing the strong urge to just leave the box by the doorstep and sprint out of the building.
She felt all of the blood in her body gushing to her face as the door swung upon, revealing a half-naked Sasuke in pair of sweats and a damp towel flung over his shoulder, clumps of his wet jet black hair clinging to sides of his face. Clearly, he had just gotten out of the shower. Bad timing. The last thing she needed was to be reminded of how sexy he is.
His eyes widened with surprise for a split second but quickly relaxed into that infamous look of nonchalance.
"Well, well," His lips curved into a sly smirk as he watched her fidget and nervously avert her gaze, a rosy tint adorning her cheeks.
"Here to hurl more baseless accusations at me?" He crossed his arms over his chest and leaned against the doorframe.
"U-Um…." She lifted the box up to cover her face before hesitantly extending it to him. "I-I came to return these to you."
Sasuke raised a brow.
"And what exactly are these?"
"They are all of your gifts… to me." Her voice trembled and her eyes stung, welling up with fresh tears.
Her head hung low, her heart beat rapidly against her chest, and her eyes were plastered to her toes as she waited patiently for a response amidst what felt like an eternity of silence.
"Are you trying to hurt me?" His voice was low and quiet, the weight of his words felt like a hundred pounds on her conscience.
"I am trying to move forward." She forced the sentence out of her quivering lips, swallowing back the huge lump in her throat.
"I am not taking them back." His tone was sharp, angry.
"Sasuke…" Hinata sighed, lowering the box back down to the level of her chest to look at him. His expression was downright frightening, he looked like he was about to bite her head off.
"I am not trying to hurt you. I just want us both to move on. Please try and understand."
"You suck."
Hinata froze.
"W-What?"
"I said," Sasuke scowled. "You. Suck."
"Please, let's not fight again – "Hinata gasped as he abruptly snatched the box from her hands, tossing it carelessly onto his apartment floor.
"You are a rotten, ungrateful, mean woman with no regard for other people's feelings."
"That's not fair." Hinata argued, her sympathetic eyes quickly darkened with rage.
"How could you even say that to me after all the nights I spent begging you to open up to me? If anything, you're the one who's disregarding my feelings. Even now you just refuse to listen to me!"
"Maybe that's because you're constantly saying things that annoy me."
"Then you should be thankful that I am getting out of your life!" She screamed and shoved him forcefully with both her hands, subconsciously activating her Byaakugan as her temper spiralled out of control.
"Now you're even resorting to violence?" Sasuke shook his head in disdain. "You merciless wench."
"Sasuke, I swear to god – "
"Fine," He spat vehemently. "If you despise the gifts that I painstakingly handpicked for you so be it, I'll just take them back."
"Oh my god!" Hinata groaned in exasperation, balling her fists up in the air. "Believe what you want, I am done arguing with you!"
Just as she turned on her heel, Sasuke reached out and grabbed the sleeve of her blouse.
"Wait," He stared intensely at her top, taking note of the design mimicking the patterns of snowflake and frost crystals.
"W-What?" Hinata shyly curled into herself under his scrutiny.
"Didn't you buy that blouse when we went to Yukigakure together?"
"Y-Yes." She nodded.
"Take it off."
"W-What?!" Hinata squeaked as he effortlessly dragged her into his apartment with one fell swoop.
"S-Stop it, Sasuke!" She vigorously beat against his chest as he grabbed her by the waist and pulled her close, flush against his torso. "T-This is mine! I-I b-bought it myself!"
"During the trip we took together." He grumbled under his breath, resting his chin on the crook of her neck as his deft fingers worked their way through untying the knots at the back of her blouse, unfazed by her vicious struggles.
"I wouldn't want this blouse to hold you back from your quest to move on and leave me behind."
"I-I am warning you, I'll – eep!" She tripped on his feet as she tried to wriggle out of his grasp, falling backwards and dragging him along before he could catch his step.
She shut her eyes close and stiffened reflexively as she braced herself for the impact, but instead of her back slamming against the cold hard ground, she found herself laying on top of a chiselled torso, her cheek pressed against his chest. His hand cupped the back of her head whilst his other arm was hooked around her waist, securing her in place.
He craned his neck forward to meet her gaze as she peered up at him with gentle eyes, touched by his efforts in cushioning her fall.
Although to be fair, it was his fault that they fell in the first place.
"Are you okay?"
"Yes." She mumbled. "Thank you."
She hates the fact that she's practically swooning over this. Why is it that she found this man so charming despite all his crazy quirks?
"Hey," Sasuke rasped, licking his lips. She shivered as his hand slid up the curve of her back under her blouse.
"… Want to fuck?"
She takes it all back. He was far from charming. He is an absolute menace.
"H-Hakkekyusho!"
If you guys liked this chapter or even if you hated to the point that you had to squeeze a lemon into your eye just to forget reading it, please leave a review! It'll give me the motivation to update regularly too ;)