WARNING: MATURE THEMES AND CONTENT
Disclaimer: PandoraBoxx777 Does NOT in anyway own the series Naruto or any of its other name rights. Happy Reading!
"Alright class, we have your genin exams due tomorrow." Iruka Umino looked over his class with pride. Each and every time he graduates a class, he couldn't help the sad, yet hopeful spark ignite in his chest. This was his favorite part of being a teacher. "I hope you've all studied hard, and trained even harder, because after that, you'll be a full-fledged ninja. Be sure to do your best!"
The class clamored as they all stood up and left the building in a hurry. Most were excited to go hang out with friends, some were preparing for the exam and others were ready to go home and have dinner.
Aburame Shino watched from his seat in the back as the other students were sent into a flurry around him to reach the classroom doors. He occasionally wondered what it felt like, to be excited to go home; not that he didn't like being home, but he never necessarily felt excited about it.
His shaded eyes glanced over to the other five remaining in their seats. Uzumaki Naruto looked anxious underneath the anticipation. The young Aburame knew that he was worried over something, though his lack of curiosity stopped him from entertaining the thought any further.
The Uchiha watched as he did, unblinking and extremely distant. He was the best in the class, as well as the coldest.
Shino could remember the exact night that Uchiha Sasuke's family died because it was the first time he had ever seen his stoic father off kilter, maybe even lost. He came back home pale and hoarsely whispered to his mother what had happened. Shino was eavesdropping, he will admit, but he had to know what had his father so shaken up.
Uchiha Sasuke was different after that; the sweetly awkward and normal little boy turned into someone angry and hateful. He became "perfect" by genin standards, but Shino had the gut feeling that he was going to turn into a real menace some day. He wasn't sure when exactly, but he just knew.
Kiba Inuzuka was gently petting the dog in his arms, looking like he was going to vomit any second. His tanned face was ashen grey and he was having a hard time standing up to run home like everyone else.
Shino always noticed the way Kiba would talk in class or act around his academy friends. He was sure to be loud and outgoing, therefore everyone in class knew him and most of the boys were his friend. A lot of people thought he was cocky, Shino included, considering he rushed in headfirst to any situation without fear of consequence.
However, he spoke carefully when he boasted about himself or his family, and Shino had the feeling it wasn't because of clan secrets.
The Hyuga heiress let out an almost silent sigh as she began to slowly pack up her supplies. Shino had not forgotten about her; Hyuga Hinata was definitely one he kept an eye on, as she was from a very prestigious, very powerful, clan.
He noticed that she much rather hide in her jacket or behind her hair than meet anyone in the eye. She whispered her words and occasionally stuttered, causing many to snicker and whisper insults to their friends or under their breath; but they mostly left her alone, especially when she started sitting next to Shino himself.
They had a very silent arrangement in which they would make sure the other was not alone. They never talked, they never acknowledged each other and Shino was fine with that. He didn't know how this acquaintanceship came to be but he knew it was after she was missing from school one day and came back to sit in the last seat beside him. He didn't breathe a word about the ugly bruises peeking out from under her jacket.
He knew what it was like to live in a stressful clan, and though he may not understand how the Hyuga's rule their home, he could deduce that Hinata was at the very bottom of whatever hierarchy they created, and so he pitied her. He never spoke at all, and that much she was grateful for.
Shino began to pack his things too, matching his pace to Hinata's so she wouldn't have to walk out alone; he didn't miss the way Kiba's eyes slid over to them before he began to pack his school items as well.
Naruto and Sasuke didn't bother, simply standing and walking out when the door was cleared enough for both to exit without a hassle.
Kiba approached Hinata, who smiled nervously at being approached so casually by someone much more well-known and popular than she was. Shino looked up sharply, watching in case he needed to intervene.
Kiba smiled nervously and scratched the back of his head, "Hey uh-" He trailed off in embarrassment for a moment before pushing himself again, "You're a Hyuga right? That means you're good at the whole chakra control thing?" Hinata hesitated before nodding, which prompted the dog boy to continue, "Could you maybe help me with training?"
Hinata felt her heart stop for a split second, before furiously pumping in anxiety. She hated that word: training. Training meant fighting, and fighting meant getting beaten for not being good enough. He was going to yell at her and pummel her into the ground. He wanted to hurt her, he wanted to break her. She was tired of being broken and could only stand to do it once a day, if even that.
Her hand unconsciously trailed to her arm, littered with bruises from yesterday's 'training' with her father. He ridiculed her the entire time, calling her weak for "reminding him why her status as heiress was revoked". She felt eyes on her everywhere and she couldn't escape.
"Hey," Kiba started backing up with his hands surrendering in a non threatening way. She was reeking of fear and he could see the way her eyes searched for an escape. "It's ok if you can't do it. I mean, you probably have your own agenda or whatever. We can try for another time, ok?" Hinata seemed to calm down a bit and nodded, shaking under her jacket.
Kiba felt bad for the girl, everyday he could smell the fear, the rejection, the hopelessness; but most of all, he could smell the blood. She always smelled like blood, fresh or dry, and it was always her own. He didn't know what happened back where she lived, but he could tell by the way she held herself together with all remaining strength, it wasn't anything good.
A small buzzing noise brought him back to reality. It was left unheard to the normal shinobi, even those with excellent hearing, but to an Inuzuka, it was almost deafening. He looked over to the Aburame and almost glared, settling for a nod of acknowledgement instead and stared until he received one of his own. Kiba was not going to let him walk away without a respectful greeting in return, however casual it may be.
The Aburame seemed to be hovering nearby, protecting the poor girl from the 'Big Bad Kiba', not that he could blame him; the poor girl looked like she was ready to faint.
Shino didn't say anything to him, he stared a few seconds longer before turning on his heel and heading for the door. He didn't care enough to stay, it seemed, but he found himself almost leaving a bug on one of the empty desks,and stopped himself before that happened. He almost grimaced, it was none of his business.
He walked until he got to his front door, hesitating before pulling it open. The house was quiet, save for the buzzing under his skin and in the air. He knew that everyone was notified of his arrival and he felt himself shut down as his mother approached.
"Son," She greeted, stopping a few feet away from him.
Shino felt himself nod and speak, "Hello mother."
She didn't move to embrace him, and neither did he embrace her. It was just the way his clan was. There was little to no affection in the open, there was no warmth and very small feelings of love. He sometimes found himself craving some sort of contact, even if it was simply a single pat on the head, but no; there was to be none of that in this home, in this clan. So he sucked it up and shut down so he wouldn't have to face the truth that maybe his parents didn't love him that much.
He looked over her shoulder to see his father coming around the corner, a ridgedness to his walk. Shino braced himself for the lecture of graduating from the academy and how to be an effective ninja. He knew this was coming, since his father always lectured him for any test, any event big enough that affected his career as a shinobi.
"Son," Shibi greeted stiffly.
Shino let his autopilot take over, "Hello father." He nodded.
Shibi sniffed a bit and took in a deep breath, "As you know," He began, "There comes a time in which one will be held to higher expectations when they are ready. You son, are graduating from the academy and will be placed on a ninja team, like I was, and your grandfather before me.
"We Aburame are known for our exceptional skills in tracking, due to the kikachu living within us, and so we are placed on a team that amplifies that skill: a tracking team. You will be no exception. Once you graduate, you will be a ninja and you will be required to meet our expectations. Is that understood?"
Shino let out a breath he didn't realize he was holding, "Yes father." Shibi, although not proud, did seem slightly pleased and seemed to relax as well. He nodded and turned away from his son, going back to wherever he had come from.
Shino's mother, having stood silently the entire time, finally seemed to snap back to life and turned to her son, "You may study before dinner." Was all she said before she too, turned and walked away.
Shino felt himself deflate and fought to control the feelings of angst at bay. His bugs will respond and they will make noise and everyone will see just how different he was. He couldn't have that. He refused to let them see his weakness, not when he was so close to graduating and achieving his goals.
He took a calming breath and forced his legs to carry him upstairs where he would go to his room, shut the door, and sit on his bed, staring into nothing until he was summoned for dinner. He's done this many times before, he could stand to do it again… At least, that's what he kept telling himself.
Kiba felt himself shake as he approached his front door. He was definitely nervous. All he could smell was his mother, and of course all of the other females.
It was an unspoken tradition in his clan that the women ran the pack, as girls are more often born into the clan than men. There was a total lack of equality within ranks, and even the youngest genin had more rights and power than the highest shinobi male within the compound walls.
He had seen his father go crazy from the lack of equality, from the dismissal and disrespect. He came from a similar, albeit different clan that was completely equal. The men and women fought hard together and didn't have any suffocating, demeaning rules that prohibited either sex.
Sadly, Kiba's mother chased his father off when he started demanding rights, slashing his face in the process. He was never seen or heard from again. Some said he died, others said he ran back to an old sweetheart. No one really knows what happened to him, and he was therefore forbidden to be talked about.
After that, everyone turned their eyes to him, to see if he was going to 'act out' like his father did. He did his best to obey and stay strong at the same time, but it was hard since they started to treat him more differently.
He was too much like his father. They had the same looks, the same voice, the same attitude and sometimes he could see just how much his mother hated to look at him. She still loved him, at least, that is what she would tell him, but he knew in the back of his head that she only said that because she felt guilty of her treatment towards him and she didn't want him to run off like his father did. Why? He didn't know and neither did he want to.
He took a deep breath and steeled his nerves, opening the door with a casual confidence that he hoped looked real.
His mother looked up from the food she was making and frowned for a half second before turning her attention back to the stove, "How was school, runt?" She asked casually.
Kiba hated that nickname.
"It was fine," He shrugged, "We have the genin exams tomorrow, so I thought I would go to my room to study before then."
His mother nodded, seemingly relieved. "Be sure to greet our sister when she comes back home." She called after him.
He shoved down the hateful, envious feeling before his mother could smell it. "Of course," He called back as cheerily as possible, "I love greeting Hana back from missions."
He quietly walked up the stairs and shut the door behind him, shaking as he silently sunk to the floor.
Hana never failed to be his mother's favorite; she never failed to rub it in his face either. After becoming a ninja, she matured a little bit, but he could still see the smugness in her eyes when his mother would hug her and greet her like she was coming back from a war.
Once upon a time, Kiba had found the strength to confide in his sister that he didn't feel as loved as her. She sympathized and assured him that he was, but after dad left, her attitude towards him took a turn. She became colder, mocking him whenever he messed up and often gloated over the fact that mom loved her more.
It became worse. What started off as teasing evolved into aggressive behavior. She would often shove him and hit him, sometimes sneaking into his room and stealing his things so he could find them destroyed later on.
He grew to hate her as well, though he feared her much more.
Kiba figured she was hurt about the split up and shared the same view as the other Inuzuka females that his father was trash. He figured she blamed him for the whole mess, either that or she hated, more than their mother, that he reminded her so much of dad.
Whatever the case was, he grinned and beared it because he had to. He was not going to be weak like they thought he was. He balled up tightly, Akamaru in his lap and hid his face in his arms. He stayed still, completely unmoving, until he heard the front door open.
Hinata walked in silently, shutting the door quietly behind her. She didn't need to activate her Byakugan to know that her father sent a servant to collect her. Before they could greet her with a false smile and cheeriness, Hinata was already walking to her father's office. She heard them mutter curses under their breath but she ignored them. She was too tired, too drained to really care at the moment.
She lightly knocked on her father's door, "Come in," He called coldly.
She walked in with her head down and stood in front of him. She didn't bother looking up, as she knew he was writing something down and would not acknowledge her until he was finished. She took the precious time to shut down and steel herself for a barrage of insults.
Her effort was not in vain, for as soon as her father finished writing, he looked at his daughter with an emotionless gaze. He could not for the life of him figure out why she was so weak and timid. She is- or rather, was the heiress to a mighty and powerful clan; yet she could not hold herself with any dignity, she was even too timid to look him in the eyes.
"Hinata," He started, "It has come to my attention that the genin exams are tomorrow."
Hinata heard every version of this speech a thousand times. He was going to tell her how much he expected her to fail and that she should quit in becoming a shinobi altogether to save her family face. She started to drown out his words at this point.
"I do not expect you to succeed, however, if you somehow manage to impress them enough to pass, you should quit thereafter, and stay a genin or give up your title as a ninja. You are weak, incapable of defeating your sister five years your junior and yet you expect to become a ninja and serve our village as a shinobi? You shame our family everyday by going back to the academy.
"You are not able to succeed if you continue acting like a timid, weak child, and I honestly do not see a future in your career. On your eighteenth birthday we will spare you some mercy and marry you off to a powerful daimyo somewhere here in Fire Country.
"Whatever your decision is, it is no concern of mine. You will fail nonetheless and when you do, I will have already drawn up the marriage contract for you. Go do whatever it is you do, weakling. dismissed."
Hinata simply turned and walked away, not sparing a glance at her father once, not that he really cared either. She was too tired for tears today, it seemed, and she managed to enter her room without making a single sound. She threw off her jacket and pulled a kunai out of her pouch.
She walked into the bathroom and stared at her reflection in the mirror, hating the white eyes that stared back, Without effort she sliced her arm swiftly, with precision and care, over a thin line that only she could see. She watched the blood well up and spill from her porcelain skin before doing it again and again and again until there was no more room to do so.
She sighed and washed the blood away in the sink, using a basic healing jutsu to close the wounds. The scars were barely noticeable, but too noticeable for prying Hyuga eyes. She took out a balm she made for this situation and slathered it over her arms, relishing in the small stinging sensation as it forcefully healed the scars into smooth skin.
Hinata then laid on her bed, staring at the ceiling she had contemplated hanging from more times than she could count, but was always too cowardly to do. She hated herself for that, because then she could end all of the pain and suffering this life gave her.
Instead of continuing that thought, she closed her eyes and prayed. She prayed everyday, even if no one came to help her, she still prayed. She prayed for strength, she prayed for peace and she prayed most of all for love.
She prayed until dinner, where she threw on her jacket and sullenly walked downstairs to face the hateful eyes all over again. She kept her face to the floor not looking up once in the cold, loathful room. She barely touched her food before she excused herself and walked back upstairs, whispers of disdain following her; she ignored them.
She felt a strong killing intent and looked up as Neji was passing. "Hello princess," He spat. Hinata didn't say anything and lowered her head again. She closed her eyes and willed him away. 'If he keeps talking to me, I'll surely break.' She couldn't allow that, especially not by Neji.
She knew all the reasons why he hated her, and he hated her weakness the most. But she was sure that if she became stronger, he would hate her more or that. He would go off again about fate and how big of a waste of space she was.
"I hear you're supposed to be taking the genin exams tomorrow, princess." He spat. She refused to say anything, only angering him further, "Too good to say anything to me, Main Branch? I figured as much." He stalked closer, closing in on his prey. "Such a weakling thinks that she's too good to talk to a lower branch like me, does she?" He grabbed her throat and slammed her against the wall roughly, drawing a grunt of pain from her.
"You are nothing but a pest. Everyone hates you. Everyone doesn't need someone as weak as you; so pathetic and worthless! You're a failure that should have never been born into the main family!"
Hinata felt the tears well in her eyes but she would not let them fall. Neji saw this and scoffed, digging his nails into her throat. "What a waste of Hyuga blood." He hissed before slamming her into the wall again and walking away.
Hinata felt her head hit the hardwood behind her, and closed her eyes as the vertigo of a new concussion set in. Only once she was sure Neji was gone, did the tears spill over and she cried. She took in as many deep breaths as she could, muffling her sobs before anyone could hear them.
'So this was the price of being a Main Branch weakling' She thought miserably.
She lifted herself and forced her legs to carry her to her room, where she would make new scars and cry herself to sleep, hoping that tomorrow, she would finally have the courage to kill herself.