This is a flashback chapter. Apologies for the wait and the confusion. I promise this story will make sense soon. Trigger warnings apply.
November 1999
Luna gazed up at Theodore Nott, and slowly backed away. "Where's Blaise?" she asked.
He turned and closed the door. She flinched, placing a hand over a sleeping Katharina on the bed. "Please-"
"Don't worry, I don't want to- I won't, I mean... I'm not like them," Theodore said. "I'm not going to-"
"You're lying," she said. "Remember what you said to me at the revelry in 1997? When I first became... do you remember? I remember. It was just a reminder that all anyone wants to do in this world with me is...use my body. Do you remember, Theodore?"
He winced.
"'The joke of Hogwarts is your pet, Zabini. You're lucky, though. Never realized she had such a good body. Let me have a night with her.'" Luna remembered the malice and glee his tone had held, the mocking face, the lingering eyes.
He ran a hand through his hair. "That was me, lying. I was given a 'pet', but I haven't touched her. I Imperio her when I have people over. I want to help you. Blaise used to be like me. But then he was cursed."
She knew it was foolish to believe him, but she wanted so badly to. "Is this real?" she whispered, pressing a hand on her heart, trying not to fall apart right in front of him. She closed her tired eyes and prayed, "Please...be my salvation. Please tell me you're real."
He shrugged. "I'm as real as you want me to be, sweetheart."
Blaise seemed to have forgotten his disgust towards rape, as he took her multiple times. He would pin her wrists above her head and enter her, she nude and he fully clothed. It was in the hallway. He was so determined to humiliate and belittle her, not even granting the basis of privacy. Only house-elves saw them, and she would make eye contact with them before they bowed their heads. The first time, she had mouthed. "Don't let her see," and they had kept their word. Katharina never saw her father rape her mother in the hallway.
One time she begged, "Please don't get me pregnant again," and she felt him smile against her neck. "Would it be so bad, Luna?"
The elf shifted from his space in the hallway. His master would flay him if he found out that the girl's food was laced with a contraceptive potion. But if there was a thing he could to do help the mistress, he would do it.
Luna would have kept missing the doorknob if she hadn't bumped into it. She had been dragging herself down the hall against the hated walls, amid the scolds of the occasional portrait. Every corner she turned, she expected to see Blaise stalking towards her.
The doorknob was dark, blended into the wall. It was dusty. She turned it and the door opened smoothly, not creaking as she had expected. She took a nearby torch and entered, letiting the door close behind her.
"Who's there?" a sweet voice called.
Luna's first wild thought that it was Katharina, but it had an Italian accent. "I-i'm sorry," she tried.
The room was a study, and there were two portraits on the wall. A beautiful woman reclining imperiously on a lounge, and a little girl with her hair in plaits. "Who are you?" the girl asked.
Luna's hand felt frozen on the torch. "You're Naomi," she ground out. "And Aurora- Lady Zabini. You're dead. You're paintings."
"And you are?" the Zabini matriarch said, graciously ignoring her stuttering.
"I'm Luna Lovegood." The torch was shaking.
She nodded and smiled. "Handsome man, that Xenophilius was. You're a pureblood?"
Luna could only nod.
"You're pretty," Naomi said. "I like your eyes. How do you know my brother, Miss Lovegood?"
"Call me Luna," she said. "I'm...you're..."
How could she tell this girl that her brother was a monster?
"How old are you, Naomi?" she asked instead.
"I am eight years old," Naomi answered in the proud manner of many adults. "How old are you?"
Lady Zabini huffed in disapproval. "That's rude to ask, Naomi."
"I am not sure of the date. My daughter is over a year old, I believe..."
"You have a daughter?" Aurora asked. "Who's the father? Why are you with Blaise?"
Luna's arm hurt from holding the torch, so she switched hands. "He's the father."
The painting's eyes shifted to her left hand, and Luna knew that she was looking for a ring. And although Lady Zabini was only depicted in the frame, understanding dawned in her eyes. She saw Luna's weary eyes, the fading bruises. "Ay, mio Dio," Aurora muttered to herself. "Blaise, mio figlio, you have caged this poor girl and she is almost dead inside."
Naomi grew bored of the adult talk and exited her frame. The lady looked at a resigned Luna with pity. "I knew his heart was blackened. Perhaps it was a result of my neglect. In any case, I cannot express my regrets enough that my son has- has done this to you."
Luna could only nod.
"I was vain when I was alive," she whispered. "Blaise had these portraits made for us years ago, but he hid them. And I was corrupt. I slaughtered my husbands for money and fame. I, oh, my darling, please tell me your story. I perhaps can make amends from beyond the grave."
Luna sat on the cold, dusty floor. She recounted the events that led to the moment. She didn't cry. Perhaps she was growing numb. With each action she remembered, the painted woman's face became more and more twisted. Anguish, horror, grief, pity, sorrow, sympathy. "My brave girl," she soothed. "My daughter now. You have been through hell. You're still there. And I will do my best to lessen the pain, however small my effect may be."
Luna let the tears flow. Even before the Dark Lord's reign, she had longed for a maternal figure after her mother died. Naomi reentered the study, holding a painted stuffed toy. "Miss Luna, does my brother love you?" she asked.
Before Luna could answer the question, the little girl continued. "Does he still like Chocolate Frogs? He used to give me his, though. Does he still smoke cigarettes? It's one of the only Muggle things he enjoyed."
Luna bit her lip, watching the flames of the torch lick the rim.
"Tell him that he needs to stop drinking so much, and tell him to visit me," Naomi said.
At this, Luna made eye contact with her. "I'll try," she said, although she knew she couldn't. "He's very busy."
"Will you come back? And will you bring your daughter?"
"Katharina would love to meet you, Naomi," Luna said, and she meant it sincerely.
After Luna had been banned from seeing the prisoners, she visited Aurora and Naomi as often as she could. Aurora had no stories to tell about Blaise, as she had never spent any time with him when she was alive. Naomi had stories, but she didn't remember most of them.
Luna had just finished an interview with Naomi about the Quibbler her father had run, and the animals she had seen, a smile on her face as she recounted a close encounter with an angry niffler, when Aurora's face slackened. A bit of light flooded the room. Luna didn't bother to turn around. She knew it was him.
She looked at Aurora and managed a shaky smile for Naomi before she felt him behind her. His hand slid down her arm to grasp her wrist, his viselike grip and cold hand making her tremble.
"Naomi, go play," Aurora said softly. "Leave us for a moment, please."
The eight-year-old looked confused but gazed at her brother adoringly. "Hi Blaise," she said, and then scampered out of the frame.
"Hello Mother," he said. "It's been a while since I've seen you. You look... well, I can't tell if you've changed at all, since you left when I was fifteen." Beneath the cruel and mocking tone, there was pain.
"My son," she whispered. "You've changed. You're hurting. You need to let Luna go."
With his hands locking hers in place, Blaise brushed Luna's hair to one side. He kissed her neck, making her brow knit in agony. "Blaise, our plan was to stay neutral, but you have become corrupted," Aurora pleaded, discomfited seeing her son use the girl in front of her.
"Shut up, you bitch, or I'll have you burned," he whispered, voice raspy.
Luna flinched as he stepped away from her abruptly. He was pacing, agitated, she guessed. "Do you not like it when you think about how I held her down as I used her? Does it make you uncomfortable when I talk about how her pretty body writhed under me? When I made her throat raw from screaming?" Blaise turned to Luna. "And you? Do you still hate it when you remember how you sobbed and thrashed? When you shudder as I touch you against your will?"
Aurora was crying openly, her painted eyes red. "You're not my son. This monster is not my son. I am ashamed you wear our family ring. I regret you bear my name."
Blaise smiled. "You should like it, Aurora. You should be proud of me, you should be proud that the world trembles at our name."
"You're insane," Luna choked, shaking her head wildly. "You- you're evil. Please, Blaise, you can end this now. You can stop. We can help you."
He shook his head slowly. "You look pretty when you beg." Blaise pulled out his wand. "Crucio," he said, softly, almost regretfully.
Luna collapsed on the floor. Aurora was screaming, hands pressed against the surface of the painting as if she could break out. Blaise made eye contact with his mother over Luna's shaking form, and cast the spell again.
Pansy Parkinson faced Luna with a peculiar expression on her face. "Luna?" the Slytherin asked. "Are you Luna Lovegood?"
The Dark Lord's regime certainly had treated Pansy well. She was wearing a long dress that pureblood nobility often wore, her creamy bare arms free of a Dark Mark, expensive jewelry adorning her.
Luna nodded cautiously. "Lovegood," Pansy said, with sureness in her voice then. "It's you. Or should I say Zabini?" There was warmth in her face, no disgust in her eyes as she looked at Luna, which was uncharacteristically out of place.
Luna merely shook her head, and said, "What are you doing here?"
"I might ask you the same question," Pansy said. "Why are you wearing Blaise's scent? And dressed so?" She motioned to Blaise's shirt.
"You truly do not know of my fate?" Luna said, watching her hands shake in front of her. "What happened to you after Harry Potter died?"
"I reconciled with my roots, my father married me to Marcus Flint, he became a Death Eater," the elegant woman said. "He's here now to conduct business with Blaise. I was brought along because I wanted to see how he had turned out."
"Why are you talking to me without disgust? I mean-"
"I don't blame you for asking that, Lovegood," her former schoolmate said. "Sure, I called you Loony at school and mocked your fashions behind your back, but this is after a war. This is after my left arm stopped working permanently, after it hurts to slouch because my back is so bruised. I have no time for petty dislike or cruel names."
"How did that happen?" Luna was almost afraid for the answer.
Pansy looped her right arm through Luna's left, smiling almost dreamily with her painted red lips. "Men happened. My husband happened. I didn't mind being married to Marcus at first, and he wasn't awful to me. And then we found out I was infertile. He asked, what was so wrong with my pureblooded body that he couldn't impregnate me?"
Luna shuddered.
"But I see that Blaise has become a monster, that you have suffered worse than I have. Pray tell, what happened to you?"
"I think Blaise owns me," Luna said, almost without thought. "He owns my body and my existence. Everything I do is for and because of him. My daughter is his. He owns everything. He rapes me, hurts me, hurts others."
Pansy clucked her tongue, her arched brows drawing together angrily. "Even though we are purebloods, we will never be okay in this world, because we are women, and women are always below men. Merlin, Blaise," she said, almost now to herself. "What have you done?"
"What do you suggest I do, Pansy?"
Pansy raised her eyes to the ceiling. "At school, Blaise pursued his conquests with passion. Once he got what he wanted, he cut them off- barely glanced at them. He never acted badly when his affections weren't returned, but he worked to make it work. But now he's changed." She bit her lip. "Do you ever fight him?"
"Not usually," Luna said. "I don't know why he still does this to me. I was given to him as his slave, and I thought, sooner or later he would get tired of me. He hasn't."
"Pansy," Blaise said.
Pansy spun and smiled instantly. "Blaisey!" she squealed, and hugged him. She kissed his cheek. "I haven't seen you in a while, you look exactly the same!"
Luna was left to watch them.
"Your wife is so kind."
Blaise smirked. "Wife?"
Luna looked in Katharina's room, something she didn't usually do. Katharina rarely slept in her own room, but Blaise was sitting in a chair with Katharina on his knee, reading a story from The Tales of Beedle and Bard. He paused from reading in his low voice and said, "Would you like to read to her now?"
Luna nodded. Blaise set the book down on the floor, hefted the small girl into his arms, and kissed her forehead. "I'm going to leave you with Mummy now, my love," he said.
In another world, if it were different, she might have loved who Blaise once was. The charming Slytherin. The rookie Death Eater. Could she have loved this cruel man?
Draco knocked on the door lazily. Blaise answered, with his shirt unbuttoned and his lips swollen. Draco smirked. "Fucking your whore this late at night, Blaise?"
"What the fuck do you want, Draco?"
"The Dark Lord has assigned us a mission in America."
Theo knocked on Luna's door. Luna answered, as she would, with one hand on her daughter's head. "Where's Blaise?" she asked immediately.
"He's away for business in another country. He said he would be away for several weeks and asked me to check on you a few times."
Luna opened the door a bit further, eyes a bit less cautious. "Oh. He's gone?"
Theo nodded.
She exhaled a bit, and smiled, not meeting his eyes. "All right. Thank you for telling me."
"Wait," Theo said suddenly. Not knowing what he intended to do. "I want to- I want to take you outside."
Luna whipped her head around. Katharina studied Theo with wide, intelligent eyes. "How?" she breathed. "Blaise has wards on this house."
"Yes- he told me. Anyone who shares your blood cannot exit or enter this house without someone who's cleared. He's the only one who has clearance, other than his elves, but he gave me temporary permission to check on you. I don't know why he doesn't just check you himself, but..."
"I'm going outside."
"You'll have to Obliviate me once we come back inside. Blaise trusts me. He can perform Legilimency, and I don't want to risk anything. It's better if there's a gap in my memory than evidence. You'll also need to dress warmer."
Luna grinned dryly. "I don't have anything to wear. Why would Blaise give me clothes if he warded the exit against my blood?"
Theo paused, considering. "You trust me, right?"
Luna shrugged. "As much as I can."
"And I trust you. So- here." He thrust his wand at her.
Luna took it with her slim fingers, understanding that she could do anything at that moment.
"Make copies of my clothes. Get a coat for your daughter, she can come too."
Luna touched the wand to Theo's jacket, his pants, almost whispering "Geminio" and "Reducio". She was alight with anticipation. Her gray, almost translucent skin was of a person who had not seen sunlight for a while.
"Katharina?" Luna said, poking her head in her room. "Come here, darling, please?" Luna tenderly dressed her with the clothes. Theo couldn't fathom why Blaise liked this gentle girl and this gentle child. He also couldn't fathom why Luna hadn't slaughtered Blaise in his sleep yet. He would have snapped in the second week. As far as he could tell, his cruel colleague (not friend) really did care for his lover and daughter.
Luna faced Theo, and he extended his hand.
Once they were outside, Theo let a breath out. He hadn't been entirely sure on his theory. Luna tilted her head up to the sun. When she turned to Theo, her cheeks were pink from the cold, but the smile she gave him took his breath away. It was pure joy, and he regretted the fact that his friend had caused the absence of it for so long. The risks were worth her happiness, he told himself. He would do it again, a thousand times, and she could only ask and he would be at her feet.
Was it love? A sense of owing? Guilt? Protection? An apology?
"Look, Rina. This is snow," Luna said softly.
Katharina stuck out her tongue and tasted the white flakes. "Cold," she sputtered.
"Isn't it pretty, sweetheart?" Luna said. "I haven't been this cold since I was in that dungeon, but I haven't been this happy since..." She paused as she lay on the ground, pressing her cheek against the ice. "I wish it could be like this."
"What do you see for the future?" Theo asked, his blue eyes bright against the white landscape. His cheeks were turning red. His breath made puffs of air.
Luna thought, and wanted so badly to say victory. Hope. All she could picture was Blaise impregnating her over and over, her being a broodmare to kids she didn't want, each one cementing her to Blaise's life, each a nail in her coffin, a link to her chain. "Nothing I've ever wanted."
"Why do you hate Muggles?"
"Why do you think?"
"I'm not sure. They're humans. Just without magic."
"They're animals."
"It's not their fault they don't have magic."
"It's their fault they enslaved people of my skin color. It's their fault they would have killed me for liking men as well as women."
"But wizards hate based on blood. Is that any different?"
"Yes."
"But it's not."
The Dark Lord examined Luna as if she were a specimen, his slitted red eyes searing into hers. "Your master is one of my best servants. He's ruthless. He's loyal. He's brutal."
Blaise inclined his head.
"He seems to like you. It's been years and he still hasn't gotten bored of you."
Luna could only nod and pray he would dismiss them. She was sure everyone in the room could hear her heart pounding.
"You have a daughter, correct?"
"Yes, my lord," Blaise said.
"Are you interested in grooming her for my ranks?"
Blaise huffed a laugh. "No, my lord. She is soft, like her mother."
"A bitch and her pups should serve their owner, no?"
Blaise sneered. "Yes, my lord, but sometimes weaklings will never learn. My whore and her daughter are delicate and frail."
"Smith or Goyle could train the brats," Bellatrix said.
"Not when they're still infants, of course, but perhaps around the age of three or four," Voldemort said dismissively. "And of course, anyone who volunteers their offspring will be rewarded."
Blaise merely raised his eyebrows and shrugged, bowing his head once more.
Luna let a sob leave her lips, and then pressed a fist into her mouth. Bellatrix smirked, perhaps excited to see what trouble would come.
Blaise pulled Luna to her feet, bowed once more to the Dark Lord. "Dismissed, Zabini."
They Disapparated, and Blaise took Luna's wrists in his hands, harshly. He leaned in so his mouth was an inch from hers. "Don't make him angry, as Katharina will feel his wrath as well as both of us."
Luna nodded, frantically, and opened her mouth, ready to beg him, to please, please spare their daughter. She couldn't take it if something happened to her baby, she was so young. She would find a way to end it. "If you pledge her to- to them, I promise I will find a way to end both her life and mine before the end of this week," was all she could say.
He shrugged. "I must do as my lord tells me. Any attempts on either of your lives will not work. Trust me, I'll make damn sure of it."
He left her, and all Luna could do was pray.