-wipes brow- So I'm really sorry about the delay for this chapter. I had three separate docs for it because I had a very difficult time writing it out in a satisfactory manner, but didn't know which version I'd like more. I've also started sewing a little for Cosplay again, so that took away a little time… and well. I'm sorry, again.
But 'ey we got a LOT of KH news from the 20th Anniversary TGS announcement. -sweats- Between the hype of that and the Sonic Movie 2 release I have just been… feasting on hype despite life leaving me tired. X,D
Warning: I'm sorry for how wack and dreamlike part of this chapter might come off as, but uuuh. Y'know. Dreams are weird and this is what I finally decided on because I didn't wanna make a fourth attempt at this. Gotta move on.
May 9th, 2022: QoL update to adjust the Ava and Namine scene since it lowkey bothered me and was slightly repetitive.
I woke up in the trash and got adopted by the local trio.
xXx-xXx-awaken-xXx-xXx
He was angry- which wasn't to say that the emotion was a distant friend.
Anger and loneliness were the easiest to manifest on command, so it was of no surprise to him and those nearby.
It was just another day.
Another wasted plan, to wonder if perhaps he'd finally be freed of this strange future hell and be sent back in time.
Master Xehanort certainly did love his favorite punching bag, though.
Something shifted in the empty hall, in the miserable white Castle (Ruins) of Nothingness.
He turned to see the-puppet? No.i or something?
Right. Xion.
(At least he had an identity.)
She moved in a daze, pressing a hand against the wall with a slump as she held her head.
He frowned as he watched her, as the passing thought of her being a total freak went through his mind.
(But they were alike, he had been a blank doll at first too-)
((NoNOno don't think about that.))
She froze and turned to him abruptly, causing him to take a small step back, startled at the unnatural way she'd moved.
She pursed her pale lips as she seemed to observe him beneath her shadowed hood. He wanted nothing to do with her, and pulled at his gloves as he hid behind the shield of his helmet.
She straightened and moved towards him- he wanted nothing to do with Saix's silent little pet- when orange twintails framed her face. He felt his heart and chest seize in confused terror- as Memories that were clear and hazy alerted him to danger- when she reached forward and cupped his mask.
Soft, empty, yellow eyes gazed up at him in concern as she took on (That Dandelion's!) gentle features.
He felt his mask melt away against his will, as the collusion of negative emotions warred on his face and in his heart as she softly cupped his cheeks as they were revealed.
Her expression was of small wonder, as her voice near-silently called to him along with speckles of shard-like Light that budded within her traitorous shell, "...Sora…? Are you-"
He slapped her hands away to break the spell he was under, snarling with Heart trembling. "I am Vanitas, not Him."
Her hands were frozen in place in the air, as she stared at him in surprise, "...Oh, I-" She lowered her hands and turned her gaze towards their descent, "I have to go back to him, to protect… that person…"
Vanitas scowled, as the orange hair turned black and the illusion was broken.
The hair became short, and nothing of (That Dandelion) remained in her.
He felt at ease as he went to turn and ignore her when she spoke. "...But you still remind me… of Sora… and… them…"
He pulled his hood over his head and burrowed into his coat, "Well. I'm not Sora, so buzz off."
She bobbed her head, as if perhaps to agree with his sentiment before turning to leave. "Someday… we'll have ice cream together..."
Vanitas felt the remnant Memory of Ventus's emotions while eating Aqua's bakery, and the sickening crystals of sugar left behind and swallowed pitch black jealousy. "Have fun with that."
But they never did have any fun at all.
Not even when they thought the Worlds could be swallowed and remade by-
Xion took in a breath as her eyes opened. The telltale sign of tears were present on her face, old and new, as she slowly pushed herself up to sit in her bed and think about that strange encounter.
It was something she could vaguely remember, but seeing it from Vista's perspective was a little hurtful.
But she understood it too, she hadn't had enough of herself left to be anything more than a tool.
She brought a hand up to touch her hair, to take in the inkiness of it and appreciated that it was something now unique to her before wiping away the itchy tear stains. She tiredly pushed herself out of bed to prepare for a long awaited day.
xXx-xXx-awaken-xXx-xXx
What was it, that made a Keyblade Wielder eligible for Mastery?
Was it the strength of their Heart and the trials they faced?
The joys of victory and the sorrows of defeat?
Was it their prowess in Magic, or their incredible Power?
Perhaps it was the Speed of their actions, or their carefully thought out tactics in battle?
For each, the reason was much the same, and so vastly different.
For at the deepening of Twilight, it was the ability to bring forth the Dawn to those who Slumbered-
To someday bring about the Greatest of Awakening of the Lost that they Persevered.
Vista took in a measured deep breath, allowed the air to fill his lungs and diaphragm as he followed the young looking Merlin as he guided his Lady.
Truly, the Wizard had seen his fair share of chivalrous Knights as he held her hand to guide her through the woods.
The Lady of the Lake was a thing of terrifying beauty made manifest. The light blue blouse with billowed sleeves that cuffed elegantly at the wrist, her high waisted chocolate colored slacks and navy shoes. Long wavy light blue hair, and eyes that were like the brightest of pure surface water flowing into the deepest blue of the ocean.
Vista exhaled slowly with a small quiver at how utterly pure she felt next to his inky darkness. Her natural Light reminded him of Lux shards.
Merlin had done well, collecting and storing many spells and charms into a tiny pink star flower pendant that was strung with a dainty silver chain around her collar.
If Vista weren't so cowed by The Lady's presence, he'd tease his Guardian for how he held her hand and paid such close attention to each step.
But really, water wasn't meant to step on land, let alone one without a single puddle to dampen the earth.
Merlin glanced back at him, "You look grey, Vista."
Vista cleared the lump in his throat and spoke in subdued tones, "Yeah well, I'm not really looking forward to having my Heart examined. Again."
Merlin hummed with an understanding nod as he looked ahead towards a familiar small clearing. His bubble World was the perfect place to do this- a place in balance, without bystanders to stumble upon the otherworldly.
A blanket had already been set for Vista to lay upon as he would be forced into magical Slumber.
It's alright Vista, we're here, too.
Vista frowned, …Sora? His chest tightened with anxiety and a flash of annoyance before settling into confusion.
It was Ventus's voice that laughed weakly through their sibling bond, as he heard his Brother for the first time in his Heart. 'Merlin thought it best if we were all here, just in case things go haywire again.'
Vista wanted to be angry, yet something soft soothed him and made his anxieties bleed out. 'It's alright, we're here. We're with you, and maybe we'll understand what's been happening in our Hearts at the end of this.'
Vista paused at the edge of the blanket and placed a hand on his chest at Xion's words. Our Hearts?
There was a silence, before Roxas sighed audibly, 'I don't know when it happened, or how, but there are flowers in our Hearts too.'
Vista felt his chest seize, as his lungs froze at that revelation.
Had Strelitzia's influence pollinated through their bond, trickling through each Memory into each of his sibling's Hearts?
He felt Naminé's presence soothe him, -It may very well be my fault, for dragging her from the sanctuary of your Heart into mine. It… it was my fault that our Chains of Memory became tied like this.-
Vista wanted to disagree and comfort her anxieties, but the moment came to an end as Merlin extended a hand towards him, "I apologize, but we only have so much time."
The Darkling nodded and took the Wizard's hand, as the scent of flowers filled his senses. The blanket had gained a pink glow, flowing with Merlin's most potent of Magicks as he was settled down into what felt like the dewy silk of many petals. Merlin spoke gently, yet the words became nothing but sound as The Lady's voice blended in reverberation with his, swirling in a melodic song that made his eyes heavy and his heart light.
So he sank, down into the abyss of his Heart, the familiar stained glass and its array of orange and white flowers of paradise with strong roots embedded ever deeper.
His descent was gentle, and just as his foot made contact with the glass, the scenery changed.
No longer was he in his Heart of Hearts, but a Memory, as he stood on that once familiar flowered hill that overlooked the Town that once was.
"It's been a long time, hasn't it, old friend?"
The man stood there in that accursed Black Coat, holding a cluster of blue chicory loosely in one hand, while the other was held closed behind his back.
Vista glanced around, unsure if this was truly a Memory, or something he could interact with.
The man turned slightly, and Vista felt his smile as he chided him, "What, you mean you have nothing to say to me?"
Vista clenched his teeth before he responded hesitantly, "Is this a test?"
The man tilted his head in confusion, and Vista felt a tinge of frustration at the incredulous look he was receiving, "A test? Oh no- that's not what this is at all!" He waved his hand with a chuckle as he turned back to observing the World settled in Daybreak before him. "Truly, though you came into this World as an insect- as that which would devour all that might be called beautiful, yet you have become instead a weed yourself." He chuckled kindly, "A tenacious Dandelion, I see." He hummed to himself, "I told you that I had won."
Vista felt tired by this man's words. He saw speckles of light, like the finest of diamond dust snow land in various places. Pink and blue- ah. Merlin and his Lady.
Could they see this Vision as well?
The Darkling didn't want to dare speak it, and yet his mouth betrayed him, "Master of Masters."
The man smiled behind the guise of darkness that cloaked his features, "So you do remember-"
Vista snorted, "Not at all." He shifted his position and moved where more speckles of light had gathered like lightning bugs.
The Master hummed from his place as he watched the Darkling's path until he'd settled in the midst of wildflowers. "I see. Well! I guess I can't say I'm surprised-" He made his way closer to Vista before pausing just out of reach, "You Dark ones simply can't hold onto your goals once you've gained flesh."
The small part that was still very much so Vanitas scowled at his words.
"Oh! I suppose you'd like me to get to the point, am I right?" His teasing words made the Darkling's skin crawl.
"Yeah, since talking with you is killing off brain cells."
The Master pulled back dramatically with a gasp before straightening out and pointing at him with grave seriousness, "Then be overcome by the Flood of your own Darkness."
Vista felt the dry earth beneath him give way into ice cold darkness as he gasped at the burn of it. He scrabbled for purchase and found nothing to hold him as he sunk into the Deep.
"I hope you find it, that which makes life worth living, your-"
Vista suffocated as the darkness bled away his sight. It clogged his nose and filled his lungs with putrid stench. No sound, scent, or warmth to guide him as he sunk ever deeper into the Dark's Embrace.
He'd scream if his voice would just leave his throat-
A small, miniscule Light made itself known in the distance.
He tried to move, to run or fly, to even swim towards that small beacon of Hope in the depths of the Void.
A hand took hold of his and pulled him upwards, out of the muck and into a hill of purple colombia kittentail.
The hill was steep, perfect for sliding down at high speed in the warmth of the sun.
But the vibrant beauty was marred by the sight of every kind of Unversed as they lounged pleasantly in those petals, and the specter who stood before him.
Strelitzia observed him tiredly, "I'm sorry."
Vista stilled at that, as a myriad of confusion rolled through him before he raspily asked, "For what?"
Strelitzia broke eye contact as she looked guiltily to the side and tugged on a pigtail, running her fingers nervously through her hair with pursed lips and pinched brows, "I- I didn't know, or even realize…"
The Darkling felt his patience run thin as he forced himself to stay calm.
This existential trip through his Heart was complete and utter bullshit.
Strelitzia's lips warbled into a suppressed smile at his errant thought, as if she'd heard it loud as day.
As if he'd spoken it, before she giggled lightly, "S-sorry, I just… I didn't know my garden would spread through your threads."
Vista felt his skin crawl with rage, "What?"
Strelitzia looked at him guiltily, "Shion have sprung up in Xion's Heart, while Chamomile have sprung up within Roxas's… White Clover have sprung up in Naminé's Heart, Daisies have sprung up in Sora's, and Edelweiss have bloomed in Ventus's. I-" She held her hands to her chest as she wilted, "I didn't mean to drag the others into this."
Vista was surprised at his calm as he responded, "Then fix it by living."
Strelitzia jolted as she stared him in the eyes, green meeting violet, as he challenged her. "But I- That might not fix it-!"
Vista sighed gustily as he put his hands on his hips and lazily shifted into a more relaxed stance, observing his lazing Unversed tiredly. "It's interesting, how my emotions have settled so comfortably here." He gazed at her, "Wouldn't it be nice to come here, for real, with your brother?"
Strelitzia gripped her pigtail as she internally struggled, "It won't be my body, though…"
Vista took a few steps forward and grabbed her hand with a pull towards himself, forcing her to reflexively release her abused hair as she fell into him- she wanted to push away in revulsion, yet once more she steadied herself against him as a pillar. He stared at her intently, "Is my body not real enough to you?"
Strelitzia blinked as she unconsciously held onto him. Felt his heartbeat and the warmth of his silent breath as he tried to make her understand.
The Darkling placed a hand on the small of her back and the back of her head as he leaned close murmured into her ear with a gravelling rumble, "Nothing is more difficult than living, but even so, isn't it worth the risk to feel the Light of Love again?"
The vision shattered, as his seductive words left a honeyed aftertaste on his tongue while he sunk into the Deep once more, with empty hands and arms that wrapped around himself.
How many times would he have to try and convince that girl to live?
No, that wasn't it at all.
Wasn't he still struggling to convince himself?
He opened his eyes to the cliffside again, and The Master standing over him with arms cupped behind his back, "Did you enjoy your little stroll?"
He'd spit at the man, if it were worth the trouble.
But this man was merely a Heart with his Soul on the line, wasn't he?
The Master chuckled gently as Vista felt the chill of darkness caress him in a deep black puddle. "Well. I think it's about time you understand the gift Your Lady's given to you."
It began to rain as black droplets splattered, dying his surroundings, clothes, and skin in pitch.
"She gave me my Unversed back, didn't she?" And so much more than he could even begin to grasp.
The Master clapped, "Bingo! And not only that, but you won't have to feel excruciating pain from their release from your Shadow! Wasn't that just Mercifully Gracious of her?"
The Flood surrounding him nearly took his breath away, "Yeah well…"
"Fuck you."
Vista opened his eyes to reality, and though The Lady wasn't there to greet him, Merlin's disapproving face was. "I don't believe I deserve such vulgarity."
Vista blinked before he flushed lightly, "Uh-"
Merlin tilted his head curiously before he gently coaxed Vista into a sitting position. The Darkling's ears burned, and at first he figured he might be embarrassed, or that he'd laid on them awkwardly to make them ache so strangely.
But slowly it dawned on him as he cautiously brought his hand up to feel his ear to meet the foreign placement of shaped metal. Two on each side as he felt his eyes heat with tears, "Oh, you-"
Merlin placed his hand on Vista's head, gently comforting him without words before pulling him close to his chest.
Vista wouldn't say he cried, but Merlin certainly wouldn't tell a soul if it was so, as the Wizard contemplated the implications of so many Hearts becoming vast gardens for another.
xXx-xXx-awaken-xXx-xXx
She knew Roxas was dozing against her back in their small glade, as she gently entertained the glitter of brilliant blue.
'What an interesting child you are, young one.'
Xion wasn't sure of her meaning, but the gentle kindness made her smile all the same as she quietly spoke, "How so?"
'You've delved the deepest and farthest into the Dark Childe's Memory, haven't you?'
Xion hummed softly as she moved her fingers through the gleam, "Maybe I have… I've never really thought to talk about it with the others." Memories were personal, and Vista's were especially difficult to process at times.
'Because it would remind you of why you were first made to be?'
Xion deflated slightly, as sounds of nature surrounded them. "...Yes, I suppose there's that too."
The Lady would have smiled, perhaps even held her close and whispered into her hair comfortingly, 'It is alright. The Purest of Waters have been thought to record and save Memory in some Worlds. Water reveals things that we may not wish to see, young one. Still, you must be wary of falling too deep into what has been forgotten.'
Xion bowed her head, "I just want to understand him. I felt guilty, for seeing what was happening to him… Yet, I did nothing, for what made me, me, was missing."
The Lady hummed gently, and the glittering gleam touched her face, 'You can delve into Memory in a way others cannot. Perhaps you should take a step into that garden of Shion of yours, and seek out the Memories that lie in wait there.'
Xion frowned as she lifted her head, "But I've never met Strelitzia, and I…" She took in a deep calming breath and exhaled, "I don't know why you would ask me that."
'Were you not first recovered with Data? As incomplete and patchy as it was, you and Roxas both needed Data for your bases. The Artist of Memory and Vista needed such Data also.'
Xion's eyes slowly widened, "Oh- but, wouldn't Lauriam's Memory be just as good for that?"
The Lady was quiet for a fragile moment before speaking, 'There are things he would never know, and his Memories are still fragmented. Elrena as well has too little, and too fragmented a Memory of that girl to be of much help. It would be better to get Data from the source in some way, as to make it more genuine, for you see, an outsider's perception is skewed. Her Heart cannot be copied in the same way you and Roxas were. Not as she is now, with roots planted deep into foreign bodies.'
Xion frowned, but slowly nodded, "...She needs connections."
'Yes, otherwise, she will be lost.'
Forever forgotten.
xXx-xXx-awaken-xXx-xXx
Terra and Aqua had stayed by Ventus's side through Vista's trial, while Kairi, Riku, and Sora had laid together in the grass with hands held tight.
Ava had stayed by Naminé, supporting her as she rapidly drew through what she could sense from Vista.
Ava touched Naminé's cheek, forcing Naminé to pause as she turned the younger girl's face towards her. Ava rubbed her thumb over the abused flesh of her bottom lip, and Naminé flushed lightly at how she'd nearly caused herself injury with how nervous she was.
Her concerns and worries had gotten to her.
Ava smiled, "Naminé, it's alright. You have gained a great deal more control over your power of Memory as of late."
Naminé stilled before pursing her lips, "But... but what if it's not enough to help? What if we're never able to uproot her garden and return her Memories?"
Ava sighed lightly and pulled the Artist into her side, "Strelitzia took things too far. She lost control of what she was doing and now it could potentially harm all of you. This is her fault. She should be here in the flesh to fix it, and we'll make that happen... one way or another." That, or they'd have to learn to live with its implications.
Naminé bowed her head, "But… I just don't know how we'll extract her Memories. They're so... muddled."
Ava hummed softly, "Well... How were Roxas and Xion recovered?"
Naminé frowned, "...DiZ uploaded Roxas into the Digital Twilight Town…" She straightened a little, "And part of his Heart was protecting what he had forgotten about Xion!"
Ava nodded, "And you?"
Naminé deflated with a pout, "DiZ must have copied my Data without my notice. I… I did work with him for a year to restore Sora's Memories…"
Ava nodded slowly, "What about Vista?"
Naminé furrowed her brows. "Wouldn't his Data have come from Xehanort's knowledge of him?"
Ava was silent for a long moment, "Perhaps, but if he couldn't remember him, if Xehanort's body was incomplete, how was he brought back?"
Naminé shook her head before clutching at it, as Memories flashed through her mind of Vexen and Saix.
And suddenly she connected to a Memory-
He stared down the most trusted member of his Number, "Saix."
The Berserker gave him his full attention, "Superior."
They were not in the Room where Nothing Gathered. This was no auspicious moment of glory, or Lording of Authority.
They, two, were mere pawns in a bigger game. A game where he could not idly observe the going ons of the Worlds as the Chess Master.
He was aware of it now, more than ever, that he was truly a split of two Hearts with disagreeable goals.
It was the softer side that had come to win this round.
"What do you think of Vanitas?"
Saix frowned at him before turning towards wide and cracked glass that used to look upon their glorious bloated Moon. "I am unsure of what it is you ask of me, Lord Xemnas."
He took in a deep breath before exhaling soundly as he cupped his hands behind his back and looked out towards the empty distance, "I am not quite certain myself… However, though he is strong, and has his own plethora of demons to call upon…" He contemplated through muddled Memories, "Yet, is he not still too unstable?"
Saix shifted uncomfortably, "I have… noticed his irregularities."
Xemnas huffed, "Is that how we will brush off his body falling into ruin before we've even begun to act? I glanced at his work in Monstropolis. He bleeds darkness sludge wherever he goes as he attempts to stabilize his essence. That is no body worthy of our number."
Saix turned to him, "What are you suggesting?" What was he plotting, really?
Xemnas smiled, "To fix a leak, one must fix it at its source." Gold eyes met as Xemnas observed him, "Fix what our gracious Host will not."
Saix bowed, "It will be done."
And so it was.
Naminé gasped as she pulled out of Xemnas- no, perhaps, Terra's Memory.
Ava squeezed her shoulders lightly, "Naminé?"
The Artist exhaled with a quiver as she sat upright and gently pulled her fingers through her hair, "I'm alright. I simply didn't expect such a strong Memory from someone disconnected from us."
Ava tilted her head with curiosity before nodding and letting it go, "If you need to, I'm here for you to tell."
Naminé smiled a little, "I'll let you know, thank you." She gathered her supplies together, and just as she dusted off her pants, Vista appeared with Merlin behind him. The Artist brightened and ran to the Darkling while Ava ignored his tell-tale red rimmed eyes as he hugged his girlfriend.
Ava and Merlin glanced at each other, and the Fox was unsure of what she saw there, as there was no peace behind those violet-gray eyes.
xXx-xXx-awaken-xXx-xXx
Vista was… dissatisfied with the way things had gone. Merlin and his Lady had figured a few things out, but they wouldn't divulge the details.
They did not want to speak if they were entirely off-base.
They weren't Keyblade Wielders. They simply could not be certain.
Vista sighed heavily at the murkiness of it all as he stood alone in his room.
There was a sound, and at first he brushed it off.
There was no feeling of malice or negativity.
Yet cold sensual arms wrapped around him as something that had stolen human shape pressed against his back.
'Little Knight.'
Vista shuddered and grasped one of the hands around him, shifting it from him as he spun out of her chilling grasp and froze.
If the hair and eye color were not so terribly wrong, he would have believed she was Naminé.
The doppelganger smiled with sharp teeth, as red gold eyes gleamed at him in the darkness of his room and the hour of the night. Her hair might have been black, but he knew there was an odd violet cast to it that spoke of her supernatural origin. Pitch black nails and clothes contrasted with her frighteningly pale white skin unbefitting the Queen of the Deep.
Vista felt himself sweat, "M-My Lady."
The Queen of the Deep moved back into his space and held him in a loving caress with hands buried deep into his hair, as she gazed into his eyes and spoke in sultry tones. 'You need not fear, for I am merely copying that which you love.'
Vista eased a little and relaxed somewhat into her enchanting embrace, "And you never will be her."
The Queen gave him a devilish smirk before giggling cruelly, 'I wouldn't dream of possessing the place of something so beneath me.'
Vista wanted to retaliate, yet the fight left him before it could start.
She was far beyond him in power, and much like Lady Nimue of the Lake, she was something that had taken time to leave her element for his sake.
His voice rasped as he aired out his feelings, "Please don't speak about her like that."
The Queen pouted before smiling at him, 'Fine. She is a unique little thing anyway. She is one who was not born from darkness, so I suppose I can understand her charm.'
Vista obediently nodded, "Thank you, my Queen, for your Grace."
The Queen smirked as she tapped her cheek with a sharp manicured digit in playful contemplation, 'Did you like my present?' Unbidden, Unversed poured out of every patch of shadow within the room, as eyes gleamed violet in the dark. 'I couldn't just let them fall into extinction, you know. You went through quite the trial to birth these little darlings into the chaos of the Worlds.' She placed her finger on his lips to keep him silent, 'I even made sure they wouldn't harm you again, aren't I sweet?'
Vista nodded numbly, "Thank you."
The Queen of the Deep beamed up at him like a child, proudly and brightly as she took in his thanks. 'Praise me, Little Knight, for my hard work and love for you.'
Vista paused as he tried to think of how to even begin doing what she asked, before simply choosing to pat her on the head by instinct.
The Queen giggled and hugged him tightly as she buried her face into his chest, 'What a good Childe you are.' She patted his back with just a pinch too much force before pulling away, 'I will continue to watch you, my little Darkling.'
Vista was silent for a moment before asking with hesitant childlike wonder, "Forever?"
The Queen smiled chillingly, 'From now and through every passage through the Gates of Kingdom Hearts, until all falls into Oblivion.'
It wasn't a comfort, but at least it was a promise he could hold onto.
xXx-xXx-awaken-xXx-xXx
It was deep into the night when Terra stepped out of the conjured room for Aqua, Ventus, and himself. He made sure the door made no noise as it was eased shut behind him, for he knew both of his friends were just as sensitive to sound as he was in an unfamiliar place.
He leaned back against the door for a moment as he tried to settle his rattled nerves from old fears and nightmares.
This would be considered a good night though, really. He dreamed of Xemnas, Ansem, Terra-Xehanort, and Apprentice Xehanort's Memories often enough that they left him disorientated and unsure of his own body. The creeping fear that he was still not in control of his body was ever-present, and he went through a great deal of trouble to not let the others know just how often he had to reassure himself of reality.
But this nightmare was old, it was a regular childhood one that brought him back home to his mother. To times long passed and dimmed with age as they skewed with each passing year.
Terra took in a deep cleansing breath before slowly exhaling on a count.
A shadow shifted in the kitchen and he turned to it with wide eyes and tense shoulders.
A miserable face glared at him tiredly while hunched at the kitchen table, as Vista wearily watched him while clutching a mug between his hands.
His Flood was dozing across his shoulders, further distorting his shape in the darkness.
Terra stayed where he was, unsure of whether or not he should return to his room before Vista rolled his eyes and huffed silently. He turned his attention away from him, and Terra supposed, that was permission enough to move as he pleased.
He moved in a deliberate fashion towards the cupboards, to grab a glass before he moved to the fridge for a glass of something sweet.
He would have gone for water, but he needed something unusual, something that wasn't his norm to comfort and ground him.
In that same vein, he moved over to the sealed loaf of walnut bread he'd made earlier that evening, and carefully took down two plates and cut two slices. It didn't matter if Vista would take the offered food since he was fine with eating both, but the teenager looked thin in a way he hadn't during the day. Vista seemed as unsettled as he felt, and really, what was more comforting than warm buttered bread?
Terra gently buttered each piece, and once done, he lifted both hands over each one with furrowed brows as he concentrated on his task.
It was a secret he'd kept to himself, something he'd managed to hide from all the others.
His palms took on a red glow as energy warmed them. Not to the point of burning his skin- no. This energy was his own, and though it was not Fire Magic, it was Magic all the same.
Magic and Power that belonged to Xemnas, concentrated, and kept close to the skin.
It had been a passing thought one night soon after they'd returned home, if he could produce that same ability and use it to hide the fact he was up at night from Aqua.
Because she would be the one who would catch him first, eating emptily at night, and she would certainly try to drag out answers he had no desire to divulge.
He smiled for a split second at the thought, at how he had learned this to keep out of trouble with his best friend, before the red dimmed, and the warmth of baked buttered bread permeated through the air.
Terra turned towards Vista, while the Darkling observed him with silent interest as he judged him with a raised eyebrow.
Terra smirked and offered Vista the extra plate, and the Darkling eyed it for a moment before carefully shifting to take it with a leery waver in his approach.
Peace offering given, Terra settled across the table from the Darkling and took a sip of his sugary poison of choice (Ah, something cherry and medicinal. Great.), giving him a final glance for approval before taking bits of his bread by hand and methodically chewing each piece to a count.
Vista observed him as his disquiet settled into companionable silence. He watched Terra's method, vaguely annoyed at the idea of touching his piece, before staring at the slice and doing the same.
There was something off about Terra that Vista tolerated his presence there in the night. His entire day was a blur from the start. The unsettling notion that Merlin would keep silent on the state of his Heart and the visions he saw, as Merlin went off with Ava, and later rejoined with the lingering presence of his Lady to speak in private.
What sort of connection had been made to create such uncertainty?
There was little answer for them all, as those bonded confessed to their manifested gardens.
Vista exhaled tiredly through his nose at the memory of his Queen taking on shape when he was finally alone to speak with him herself.
The shadows of his room were too dark, too creeping and charged by her presence as he left his safehaven and took shelter in the one place that anyone could gather.
Terra being the one to join him was…
Terra cleared his throat lightly, "Couldn't sleep?"
Vista's fingers flexed defensively before he nodded. Terra's voice was a gentle hum, a sound Xehanort would have never made with his stolen vocal chords, and did not remind him of the low vibration of his Nobody.
Terra nodded absently as he chose his words carefully. "I woke up from an old nightmare and needed to move."
Vista watched him silently as he ate another piece and seemed to accept his words.
They all had nightmares on occasion, and half of them were the type to need to walk it off afterwards.
Vista was one of them.
Terra glanced downwards for a long moment before meeting Vista's gaze, "Is it alright?"
Vista furrowed his brows with a slight glare, "What?"
Terra winced at his wording before clarifying, "Your name… how would you like me to call you?"
Vista stared at him flatly, "You've already heard that I chose a new name from me, and confirmed by the others."
Terra nodded, "But I am well aware that I am not a person you like or trust, so I didn't want to assume I had your permission."
Vista straightened a little in surprise before settling. He eased into himself, and Terra thought something shifted within the boy across from him. "Oh." Vista glanced at the bread before him before meeting Terra's eyes properly. The Child of Earth abruptly realized that the Darkling had never truly looked at him like that before, always just barely meeting his eyes if they ever spoke. "It might not be how I wanted it to happen, but I want to be called Vista."
Terra nodded, "Alright then, from now on I will call you Vista."
Vista clasped his mug tightly as he straightened his posture stiffly, "I'm sorry."
Terra blinked in confusion and frowned, "You're sorry? What for? I'm the one who should apologize-"
Vista shook his head resolute as he held eye contact, and Terra relented with a small wave of his hand for Vista to continue. "I'm sorry that I helped tear the three of you apart. That I never thought to seek your help, or to warn you all instead of taunting and goading you into Xehanort's plan. For helping him steal your body, and believing it was worth the three of you suffering as a sacrifice to gain what I wanted." He took in a breath before sighing tiredly, "I apologize."
Terra was shocked by his words and left reeling. He hadn't hated Vanitas for a long time now- with each filtered Memory he gained, he saw vague and static Memories from Xehanort himself.
Miserable gray or sepia toned Memories of a boy left to his own devices in a wasteland, beating him bloody, or flooding his form with Magic.
All for the sake of using him to gain Kingdom Hearts.
Terra swallowed the thought of being sick at those flashes of disjointed Memory before taking a wincing sip of his juice. He appreciated the teen's sincerity, "I accept your apology, Vanitas." Vista glared at him, but Terra lifted his hand to stay him, "You were a different person back then, and I can see how far you've come since your return. However, it was with your past self that we had strife, and it is your old self that you are apologizing for. So… I forgive you Vanitas, and I hope that one day you might be able to think of me as a friend, Vista."
Vista took in his words before relenting to his logic with a nod, "Thank you."
Terra flexed his hand into a fist before releasing his tension, "I also want to apologize." Vista gave him a dry look as the brunette continued, "I allowed Xehanort to manipulate me with his lies, and I went with it even though there were times I felt that something wasn't quite right with what he was saying. For taking his words at face value. I… I didn't think things through, and in the end, I was lost. Helpless to stop any of his actions as he used my body to do terrible things to myself and the Worlds… and even then, he used me to hurt you as well." Vista tensed as Terra finished, "I'm sorry for the things this body of mine did to you, and the other forms he took with it."
Vista looked angry, and Terra had the passing thought that his eyes were just a little too glassy before Vista exhaled his anger and broke eye contact. He was clearly disturbed, but also warring with himself before the Darkling gave him a dirty look, "Apology accepted, and don't you ever fucking talk to your friends about what you did to me. Got it?"
Terra blinked before awkwardly rubbing his head with a nod, "If that's what you want, alright."
Vista hunched over his half eaten bread with a frown as he glared at it, as if doing so hard enough would set it on fire, before he picked it up and took a large viscous bite out of it.
Terra simply took another piece of his mostly eaten slice and felt relief.
It should have left him more unsettled, yet something in him became just a little lighter, and he smirked. As he watched Vista chew angrily at the bread he had to hold back a chuckle as the Darkling's anger morphed into a grumbling pout.
Vista looked his way again and narrowed his eyes in clear silent question before he swallowed his final bite, "What even was that?"
Terra looked at him confused, "What?"
Vista licked his lips and moved his empty plate to the side before slumping into folded arms on the table, "Your bread. What's it even called, and why do you make it?"
Terra was… stunned for a moment before he hummed and leaned back in distant memory and thought, "It's just walnut bread. It was something my mother taught me, before I ended up with Master Eraqus. It's… a little piece of home I can hold onto."
Vista was silent as he studied the table beneath him, "Ah."
Terra smiled vaguely at the other's response, "Have you found something or someone that comforts you and feels like home?" Vista glanced up at him and Terra waved a pacifying hand, "I'm not asking you to tell, but… for you to figure out for yourself, I guess. Have you found that something that can comfort you when you feel unsteady?"
Vista hadn't, but… there were times when Merlin had helped to ground him, when Sora's return had helped complete a small part of himself that'd been aching.
Even being with his bond-siblings did a little… something he hadn't quite figured out how to describe.
But really, if he gave it some thorough thought…
He slowly pushed himself up as Terra watched him passively. Vista gave him a final look before nodding, "Thanks."
Terra nodded, "Anytime, and… Vista?" The Darkling tilted his head in question as he continued, "You're welcome to live with us in The Land of Departure just as much as any of the others if they feel the need or desire."
Vista blinked, "Wha-"
Terra gave him a tired and sincere smile, "It's something I think we've all been thinking about, how we can't rely on Merlin to stay in one place like this forever… and honestly, the Castle is a little too empty, even with Kairi there pretty often."
Vista hesitated as he battled within himself for a proper response before nodding silently as he dared to place his hand on Terra's shoulder and squeezed it in confirmation, "Thanks."
Terra nodded and Vista left him on silent feet like the shadow he'd once been.
A door opened and closed from further into the apartment, and after a barely there shuffle and confused whispers too far away to hear, all was silent.
Terra leaned back into his chair and stared out into the evening sky through the small kitchen window, to the faraway stars tiredly.
A presence placed their hand in his hair in a heavy comforting ruffle before the feeling left him, and he brushed his eyes at the heat of oncoming tears.
The weight of one of his many sinful burdens was lightened, but there was still so much work he had to do.
For himself, and the Worlds.
xXx-xXx-awaken-xXx-xXx
The warmth of another body close was a comfort. A habit warned against time and again as worries were understood, yet also set aside.
Xion was sleeping, and he was only half awake. Too tired to be awake, yet unable to settle his mind.
Roxas loved this girl, and would protect her from everything he could.
He exhaled tiredly, at the hazy conversation he'd been barely awake enough to listen in on. As Merlin's companion had spoken to her pressed against his back.
He knew Xion had assimilated a lot of their Memories- it wasn't all the time, but far more often than any of the others.
They both had a lot of learning to do about living, but using so many disjointed Memories wasn't the answer for getting close to the others. Still, Roxas understood… so he decided to make an unusual choice.
He buried his face into her hair with a final sigh of resolution, and Dove.
He sunk into his own World, his Sanctuary and fell towards his stained glass with its blot of chamomile.
At first he had been confused by its presence there. He'd only vaguely known of the flower from tea packets as something to help calm someone into rest.
But he had decided to ask Olette if the flower meant something else, and she had told him flowers had their own language. They had underlying meanings, that while not everyone knew about it, it was something known to girls who thought to look for such things amongst others.
So she had helped him find a few books for reference, and he found the flower strangely… fitting.
It had several meanings. Rest and Peace, Renewal and Rebirth, Energy in Adversity.
He'd been through a lot, enough to to know that it was a suitable flower to represent him.
He stared at the garden, came close to it, and stepped into its inviting embrace.
Roxas immediately fell in with a startled shout, as if the tenacious buds had been floating on an unseen sheet of endless water.
So into the internal gleaming blue Light of his Heart Station he sank.
He had harbored Xion's fragments here within his own Heart- and perhaps, this was his own Soul. There was no stained glass or abyss surrounding him, though he knew he was still within its hold. Yet, he didn't fear.
He knew he was safe here in his own Sanctuary.
'What happened to the brother I once knew?'
Bubbles of Memory, of distant voices he had no connection to filtered into his mind.
He had done this to Sora, and he regretted it the moment felt such foreign feelings seep into him-
'Why won't you go on Missions with me..?'
So many feelings and thoughts of a girl he didn't know. Couldn't know, really, and yet, these were here.
Filtering in without a single barrier to stop it.
'When the War starts, do not fight, but flee to the World beyond!'
Roxas grit his teeth and clenched his fists as a headache formed and his nerves felt like fire.
'I want you to be one of the Leaders to guide them after we are gone.'
'But I'm not strong enough! I-'
'I believe in you, Strelitzia. You are strong, you just need to believe in yourself a little more.'
Roxas gasped at the feeling of foreign tears and burdens as he clutched his chest and tried to push away her feelings.
A presence surrounded him as he drowned.
It didn't take long for him to return to consciousness. To regain how own sense of self as he blinked sensitive eyes open to a sky painted in Daybreak.
A gentle hand was placed on his forehead as she shifted her fingers through his hair and chided him in the midst of wild flowers, "Of all of those connected to him, I didn't expect you to be the first one to reach me here."
Roxas blinked into clarity as he met Strelitzia's downturned gaze. There was a war within her, as both warmth and worry battled behind her eyes as she tried to comfort him.
He took in a deep breath and exhaled, "Yeah well, I won't let Xion be burdened by herself."
Strelitzia's brows raised in temporary confusion before nodding, "I see." She smiled warily, "I almost mistook you for Ventus… but," She glanced at the plethora of chamomile that had bloomed to embrace his arrival, "I realized you were someone else."
Roxas watched her quietly, "I don't really know what's going on, and… I know I look like this, but I've only been alive for two years. I don't understand-"
Strelitzia's skin paled slightly before she gently covered his eyes to make him stop with glassy eyes, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I didn't know that this could happen. I did something without thinking it through, that it could effect those who had become connected, I didn't-" She shuddered in her rambling, "I've done something forbidden, unknown or unspoken, what I've done is… unforgivable."
Roxas closed his eyes, as some of the moisture of her tears filtered through her fingers onto his skin. He gently placed his hand over her tear stained hand, "But you will be forgiven." It was just fact to him.
Strelitzia sucked in a breath as she tried to deny his words, "It just can't- I took things too far and Master Ava should have never chosen me!"
Roxas lifted her hand off of his face and shifted into an upright position as he faced her. He observed her as she cried helplessly and wiped away tears of sorrow and regret. Of pain and inferiority. He reached forward and tucked her into himself as he gently placed his chin on her head, "If no one knew it was wrong, isn't it fine if we all agree that no one knew this would happen, and learn from it so it won't happen again? To apologize to one another?" He closed his eyes, "Maybe I just don't know enough about how Keyblade Wielders are supposed to act, but doesn't that allow us to be more flexible and forgiving of mistakes?"
Strelitzia sniffled and slowly calmed into contemplative silence, "I… suppose."
Roxas ran his hand over her head in comfort, "Then, for the sake of the others, so that we can finish this and make you your own person again…"
"Drown me, and me alone in your Memories. I'll keep you safe, just like I did for Xion."
Strelitzia quietly asked, "Do you all really want me to live that much?"
Roxas leaned his head against hers, "Gaining new friends is kinda fun."
Strelitzia smiled as she relented, "I guess so."
And then Roxas Awoke in her Memory.
xXx-xXx-awaken-xXx-xXx
A/N: (This particular note was moved from the start of the chapter to the end since it was written in the OG doc like, six weeks ago.) So, I'm not exactly sure what flowers are depicted in FGO Merlin's Noble Phantasm, Garden of Avalon. They could just be generic pink flowers, but his earrings kind of remind me of pink colored Strelitzia flowers? (If you google FGO Merlin earrings, they made real ones in a much smaller size if you need the visual comparison.) If I were to say what flower I mentally think of for the shape of the flowers he's associated with, it would maybe be the Egyptian Star Flower. At first I thought Sakura, or another generic flower, but uuh… then I googled pink flowers, that one was the one that I was like 'Yes, this one. THAT's the flower.'
I know on AO3 pictures can be added into the story, but FFNet doesn't allow links, let alone images, which is why I'm mentioning googling in this manner… I might try to draw something for AO3, but I have no time, and I haven't drawn in quite some time. I'd rather get a chapter out to you than delay it even longer with art.
Please R and R!