"Well?"
Steve finds his shoulders curling inwards like a guilty kid facing their parents. Bucky does a pretty good impression of being his parent anyway, standing in front of him with his arms crossed and a frown on his lips.
The evening sunlight shines through the windows of their private floor, casting long shadows that the artificial lights mostly eliminate. Steve sits on the couch, fresh from showering after their successful destruction of the Vault. Bucky hadn't waited before grabbing him by the arm and forcing him down on the couch.
"Well what?" Steve asks, pretending he doesn't know the reason behind Bucky's crossed arms or his scowling expression.
"You know what, Rogers," Bucky snaps, and Steve almost winces.
Almost, because that tone in Bucky's voice is so Bucky and he's been so desperate to hear something even remotely close to it, even if Bucky's furious with him.
Steve says nothing, deciding to engage in a duel of patience instead. He knows he could wait in silence for a long time, it's just a matter of when Bucky's anger finally makes him lash out. They stay like that, silent and staring at each other, for all of five minutes before the silence is broken by JARVIS.
"Shall I fetch a referee to be ready to interfere if necessary?" the AI asks, sounding concerned yet amused at the same time.
"Go right ahead," Bucky says, his voice low and a dangerous look in his eyes. "I could use someone who's seen this dumb fuck fighting in this century anyway. I know he's going to try and downplay it."
"Bucky—"
"You don't get to argue that."
Steve quickly closes his mouth at the glare that pierces him. It's an uncomfortable mix of Bucky's simmering anger and the Winter Soldier's mute threat, and really starts to settle that Steve is in trouble. He's not scared of Bucky, he's been scolded hundreds of times by his best friend before. Steve isn't sure he's ever made Bucky this furious before however, and that's saying something because Steve got into all kinds of shit back when they were—
"Sir is in the elevator," JARVIS informs, and Steve almost groans because if JARVIS were to get anyone, of course it would be Tony.
"Let him in," Bucky says, not taking his eyes off Steve.
It's not hard to guess that Tony has just come from a shower. His hair is still damp and he's dressed in a soft t-shirt and sweatpants, an uncommon look for him. There's a steaming mug of what smells like hot chocolate in his hands, and a cautious, wry look on his face as he greets:
"Thanks for inviting me to the 'what the fuck, Rogers?' party."
And Steve scowls, because, "It's not that big of a deal!"
"You've been reckless on every mission we've ever had," Tony deadpans, moving to sit in the arm chair to the right of the couch.
Bucky growls and adds, "You haven't been caring if you get injured or if you might die."
"Any of us might die on any mission—!"
"Yeah, not because of sheer recklessness," Tony counters. "It's a miracle you haven't been living in the infirmary wing permanently, Cap."
"I want you to explain yourself, Steve," Bucky says, and his voice is so close to the angry disappointment that Steve remembers that it hurts. "Why have you been trying to get yourself killed? You're not—"
"I had nothing!" Steve bursts out suddenly, causing Bucky to startle.
Tony startles too, hands tightening around his mug as he stares wide-eyed at the blond. Steve's eyes are wild, his expression twisted into a devastated grimace as he gets up to start pacing, hands gesturing wildly in the air.
"I had nothing, Buck," Steve says again. "I wake up and everything is gone and the world isn't even the same anymore. It's all so bright and loud and it hurt. SHIELD gave me a briefing on everything, but it's not the same as knowing the world you're living in. I was alone."
"Steve," Tony says, sounding horrified.
He only shakes his head and runs a hand through his hair and goes on, "You'd died only four days ago for me, Buck, and for the rest of the world it had been seventy years. Then I heard about Theo and all I remember about those two weeks being awake is being so goddamn furious and upset and just fucking lost.
"And then Fury comes, saying the goddamn tesseract is back, and they need Captain America and it's another war." Steve stops to take a breath, letting out a hard pant before his lips pull back and he continues, "Hell, I really thought I could keep it together for that, be the American hero people wanted, but then Tony came in and I— You just reminded me of everything that I missed, and I couldn't break down because Captain America isn't weak, so I ended up snapping instead, and—"
"Jeez, take a breath, Rogers," Tony says, holding up a hand with wide-eyes.
"You wanted to know why I don't care," Steve bites back, more forceful than he means to. "I had nothing, and got used to the idea that I could get killed on a mission and see my family again, and—"
"It wouldn't be your fault," Bucky finishes somberly. "Suicide, but not by your own hand."
And Steve can do nothing but give an ashamed nod. It sounds so much worse when it comes from someone else's voice. From Bucky's voice. It hurts, and the reality of how morbid it really is finally sinks in without any of the previous numbness that Steve has always felt since waking up in this new century.
Bucky shakes his head with a pinched expression, throwing himself down on the couch next to Steve. Tony's hands are still tight around his mug, shaking in the most minuscule way that says he's shocked.
"Anything else you want to get off your chest?" Bucky asks, and he sounds tired now, so tired and depressed and lost that Steve feels guilty.
"Having you and Theo here now," he admits quietly, because he really does need to release everything now and pray that it makes all the pain stop. "It's almost worse, and it's not your fault, not at all, but I keep expecting you to crack some shit joke or something." His voice cracks, a sob so close to the surface that Bucky reaches out and Steve flinches back. "I miss what we had, Buck. Fuck, I miss it so goddamn much, but I can't have it and I know that. I'm trying to live with ghosts in my head and they won't go away."
"I might be able to help with that."
Three heads whip around as Theo appears from the elevator. His hands are in his hoodie pockets, and he's biting nervously at his lip, but there's a determination glittering in his eyes that Steve knows and recognizes from the mirror.
"Do you spy on us or something?" Tony demands, only half-annoyed. "How do you keep appearing at the right moments in a conversation? And no one answered the elevator."
"I did." Rebecca's form appears near Theo, a smug smirk on her lips. "I also thought that with the way your conversation seemed to be going, Gen would be able to suggest something to help."
"And what's that?" Steve asks, tilting his head.
Theo lifts one shoulder in a weak, unsure shrug. "It might not help for you, different experiences and all, but it works for me so it might for you. It's relaxing in a way, something to focus on and work on and… Reb, show the most recently completed."
Steve's eyes widen when the air shimmers and a hologram of his little apartment appears. The one from seventy years ago, the one he shared with Bucky, the one he raised his son in. It's so identical, the colours, the textures, the warmth; Steve could swear he smells the soothing smells that are just… home. The longing increases tenfold, but the pain of missing it… it eases.
Something in Steve's chest loosens ever so slightly. Not nearly enough to be slack, but it's not as tight as it has been. Like he can finally breathe after years of his lungs being constricted. He expects it to hurt even more, seeing what time tore away, but it doesn't. Seeing the memory… It's like coming home after a long winter. And when a hologram of Bucky comes striding into the room…
"Where is he?"
"Where's who?"
"Your little punk of a son who stole my favourite tie, again."
Steve watches with wide eyes, much the same as his small holographic self, as Bucky grins wide and yanks the blanket from covering the young Theo. The wild, childish giggle that fills the air drags a smile to Steve's lips and the impish roar that Bucky makes as he sweeps Theo up almost makes Steve cry. This was everything he'd missed. Everything he'd given up when he signed up for the army.
He's so close to having it again. It's like they have the parts but don't remember how they fit together, and they're working on it, Steve knows they are, and he just wants it to work now.
Steve shakes his head, forcing the thought away. He can't rush healing, no matter how much he wishes his could, so to distract himself, he tunes in to the conversation between Tony and Theo.
"You recreated this?" Tony asks, studying the frozen hologram.
Theo nods. "I've had the program for years. It was something to do to fill time, and that helped me. The technology in this tower lets me translate it from video to hologram."
"That's… interesting."
Steve almost snorts at Tony's blatant attempt to cover his eager curiosity and interest.
He startles slightly when Bucky presses close against his side. His best friend's eyes are wide in wonder, staring at the frozen scene projected around them. Bucky throwing Theo up in the air and Steve watching them from the couch with his sketchbook in his lap.
"This is what we were like?" Bucky asks quietly, sounding almost awed.
Steve nods. "Yeah… All the time, Buck. We didn't have much, but we had everything at the same time."
Bucky said nothing in response to that. He merely returned to staring at the recreated memory, and Steve watches with a soft smile.
•••
Steve has roped Bucky into helping cook dinner for the team on the communal floor when the alarm happens. It's not the usual alarm, instead it's a loud, trumpet fanfare that steals your attention instantly and makes you tense. It's not an Avengers alarm; it's familiar to Bucky, and he looks up from setting the table, instinctively waiting for Rebecca or Theo to explain the alarm.
Judging by Romanoff's tense glaring around the room, she recognizes the sound too. On the couch, Barton is watching her with confusion in his eyes but a readiness in his muscles.
"What's going on, Reb?" Bucky asks when no explanation seems to be coming.
The AI appears near the television, a cold look on her face. "The heads of HYDRA are about to have a meeting and the Black Infiltrator is supposed to be there."
Barton frowns, "Why?"
"He's famous." Rebecca smirks, but nothing in that smirk is pride. It's hate and rage and malice. "He is HYDRA's oldest agent, after all. We thought you'd like to watch, with the whole 'the deal is off if contact with HYDRA is discovered' thing, but they will be suspicious if the Infiltrator is not there when he said he would be."
The television turns on by itself, displaying a grid of various camera feeds from a conference call. Nine different people, each of them blurred and pixelated until the only defining features that can be made with are vague outlines and colours. There are no names labelling the people either, only titles of Head One, or Head Four and so on.
Bucky can pick out Theo, and that's only because he's wearing his black mask. The splash of black on the lower half of the person's face is familiar, even if it's not clear.
He makes his way over to stand behind the living room couch to get a better view of the screen, Steve right behind him. The elevator doors slide open and Tony walks out, dressed in his usual attire for lab work.
"JARVIS said we had a show to tune in to," he says, throwing himself down next to Barton. "Bruce didn't want to watch."
There's a soft chime and they watch as a few more unclear faces join HYDRA's conference call, bringing the total to fourteen, including Theo. That makes thirteen heads of HYDRA. Thirteen people around the world that need to be taken care of. Bucky's fists tighten at his sides at the thought.
"Is everyone here?" Head One asks. A man's voice. German, guessing by the accent. "If so, let's begin."
"Hold on," cuts in the sharp voice of an Asian woman from Seven. "I can't help but notice the Black Infiltrator is awake. And I think we all know that HYDRA has been exposed to the world."
"So you know that Five is dead." The female voice comes from the person labelled Five. A stand-in, then. "He wanted me to succeed him."
Three scoffs. "Don't think we don't know you lost the Asset. I don't know why we ever trusted the American branch with one of our greatest weapons anyway."
Bucky is almost certain that the ice that rushes over him can be felt in the air. He knows that voice. He knows that voice, the voice of the man who oversaw his 'training,' the man who did this to him.
"Three is Aleksander Lukin," Romanoff murmurs, her fists tight. "He visited the Red Room when the Soldier and the Infiltrator were there."
"That's one," Tony says, holding up one finger, "Only twelve more to go."
"Why do you think I woke the Infiltrator?" One hisses. "He is supposed to track down the Asset."
"I am." Theo's voice is modulated through his mask, but the cold cockiness is easily heard. "It wasn't hard. However, the fact remains that Five disregarded properly maintaining the Soldier in favour of attempting to launch Project Insight and kill America's golden boy."
"Project Insight could have been monumental," Eleven spits, clearly angry over the project's failure. "And destroying the Avengers could have been an even bigger help. The Americans failed, and got us exposed in the process. Five had his death coming."
"Do not talk about my father that way," Five spits.
Barton chokes, "Shit, Pierce has a daughter."
"An angry one too, by the sound of it," Steve hums, not sounding all that remorseful.
Tony waves two fingers in the air. "That makes two identities. JARVIS, make a chart to keep track, will you?"
Bucky watches as a hologram appears on the wall behind the television. There are thirteen rows, labelled heads one through thirteen. There's minimal information now:
Head One: male, German
Head Three: Aleksander Lukin, Russian
Head Five: daughter of Alexander Pierce
Head Seven: female, Chinese
Head Eleven: female, Australian
"Can we get on with it?" drawls a male voice from Eight. "Some of us have shit to do."
"I want to first start with what the Infiltrator has found," One says with what sounds like a sneer. "And why I found my experiments missing."
"Were they not ready for field experience?" Theo asks mockingly. "Telekinesis and inhuman speed. Terribly sorry, Baron, I couldn't resist."
"He's talking about those twins," Bucky says, eyes wide. "Calls them experiments."
"They're safe here, Buck," Steve reminds him, taking Bucky's hand in his. "We won't let them get hurt."
His throat tight, Bucky can only nod and squeeze Steve's hand. Steve squeezes back reassuringly, and Bucky forces a slow, shaky exhale past his lips.
"And the shiny gem…" Theo continues carelessly. "I needed a way in."
"It has been over a week since you left this base." One sounds tired. Commanding and impatient, but tired and resigned at the same time. "What have you found on the Asset's location?"
"The Avengers Tower," Theo replies smugly. "It seems the Soldier has found his way into their protection. Of course, I can't just walk in, take him and be expected to leave easily. So I thought to use the chance to take out some of the problems I see HYDRA has been having."
Four lets out a harsh scoff. "I told you, Three, you should have ordered Stark eliminated with his parents. Now look at what we have to deal with."
"How could anyone have known what that brat would become?" Three spits. "Karpov is the one who wanted the serum, I let him control the mission. The Infiltrator is the one who deemed the kid to not be a threat."
Bucky doesn't miss how Steve places a heavy hand on Tony's shoulder. He can hear the rapid beat of the billionaire's heart too, see the fear in the way his body is frozen.
"And I was right." Theo's voice is full of cocky disdain, and Bucky hates it. "Anthony Edward Stark was not a threat when he was partying himself into oblivion. I hear that changed in Afghanistan; maybe you should ask Twelve, it's his branch after all."
"We tried looking," Twelve snaps. "Don't think I don't know how good an asset Stark could be to us. We tried, but he was well hidden."
"And then he was back in America, where Five failed to take action and neutralize him before he became such a threat," Eight drawls, contempt clear in his voice.
"I think we can all agree that the American branch of HYDRA has started to become a liability," Six says with disdain. "They lost the Asset. They failed to prevent HYDRA's exposure. And perhaps the easiest thing to have accomplished: they purposefully woke Captain America, then failed to make an asset of him as planned, resulting in another hostile opponent to deal with."
"I am not my father," Five snaps. "I won't allow us to make the same mistakes."
One hums doubtfully. "Then lend your resources to the Infiltrator while he is in your territory. This could be your chance to prove yourself; reclaim the Asset and destroy the Avengers."
"Before they destroy us, you mean." Five's vague figure shifts and a new square appears in the grid. It's security footage of the Avengers raiding and destroying the Vault, and Bucky can feel the air grow cold. "This is from yesterday. Somehow, the Avengers learnt of the Vault. Any ideas, Infiltrator?"
And just from her voice, Bucky can tell that Five doesn't trust Theo. She hates him, the rage in her tone more than evident.
"You must be new to how we operate." Theo's voice is powerful and cold, as if he was just challenged by an ant. "The heads of HYDRA may be equal, but I am the oldest. I know exactly how to get what I want. If that means sacrificing what we can afford to lose, I see no problems. Any objections?"
Eight lets out a sharp cackle. "None here. Are you sure you can swim with the sharks, Five?"
The only response to that is a forced, "Hail HYDRA."
"Good." One steps in to regain control. "Now, do we agree to allow the Infiltrator to work from within the Avengers and weaken them?"
"As long as we get the Asset back," Three says gruffly.
"I second that," Six adds.
Bucky watches the heads of HYDRA vote, green or red markers appearing in the corner of their squares in the call. The only red markers come from Two, Nine and Thirteen.
"Notion passed," One declares. "Five, I expect the Infiltrator will be in touch. Do not let your branch fail HYDRA again."
"Hang on," Five spits, and Bucky can tell that she's infuriated. "The Asset malfunctioned with the presence of Captain America. Who's to say the Infiltrator won't do the same?"
There's a flurry of angry shouts, "Be quiet!" and "You dare?!" Beneath it all, Bucky hears a sharp cackle. Steve leans heavily against the couch in front of him, face pale and eyes distant. Bucky wraps an arm around his shoulders, helping to support him.
"You think I don't know?" Theo's smirk is easily heard in his voice. "I've known for days now, and do you see me breaking down? Being the son of America's golden boy means nothing to me. I am HYDRA. Five, you are either with me or against me, and don't think that being a head makes you untouchable. The only reason you have the title is because your father saw potential in you. There's better potential in many other candidates."
"We should have let the council elect the replacement anyway," Seven adds in disdainfully. "Someone who could right the American branch and get it back under control."
"Infiltrator, you understand why your father's identity was concealed, correct?" One asks, and he sounds worried.
The blurry image of Theo waves a dismissive hand. "Of course. Now, I wish I could say this has been lovely, but it wasn't. I have work to do."
Three appears to nod. "Hail HYDRA."
With the sentiment echoed by the other heads, the meeting ends and the television turns black. However, the tension remains hanging heavily in the air. Barton lets out a long whistle and shakes his head. The chart that JARVIS has been maintaining now reads:
Head One: male, German, a baron
Head Two:
Head Three: Aleksander Lukin, Russian
Head Four: male, Japanese
Head Five: daughter of Alexander Pierce
Head Six: female, British
Head Seven: female, Chinese
Head Eight: male
Head Nine:
Head Ten:
Head Eleven: female, Australian
Head Twelve: male, located in Afghanistan
Head Thirteen:
For a long moment, no one says anything. Steve and Tony both look the most shaken. Barton is clearly uncomfortable, and Romanoff looks to be deep in thought. When the elevator doors slide open and Theo comes striding out, Bucky can feel something in his chest relaxing. The mask is gone, leaving the deep scowl on Theo's face visible to the room.
"I don't like how easy it was to fall back into that role," he announces, vaulting over the back of an empty armchair and settling in it with an uncomfortable tension in his muscles. He at least has the grace to look apologetic as he continues, "I didn't think all that about Stark would come up."
"You were awake during that time," Romanoff states, clearly waiting for an explanation. "Where were you?"
Theo gives a wry smile. "Where do you think? HYDRA had assassinated a billionaire, and a very famous person at that. He had resources. And he had a son."
Despite it already being mostly confirmed by Three, Tony pales. "You were watching me," he manages, voice strangled yet accusing. "To be sure I didn't become a threat."
The room falls silent for a long moment. Bucky watches the various expressions flash across the faces of the others as he turns the meeting over in his head. HYDRA thinks Theo is working on destroying the Avengers. Theo had been tasked with watching Tony after his parents were killed. HYDRA planned to turn Steve into an Asset after he was found in the ice.
"Who do I blame for ordering the hit on my parents?" Tony asks suddenly. "There were thirteen people to blame, who was it?"
Theo doesn't reply. He remains scowling at a point in the distance. His fists are tight in his lap, knees drawn up to his chest. It seems like he didn't even hear Tony's question.
"Theo!" Steve says loudly.
Theo startles. "What?"
"Which Head ordered the hit on the Starks?"
Wide blue eyes blink dumbly, and Bucky knows that Theo went too far into his own head to think properly right away.
"Rebecca?" Bucky tries.
"Vasily Karpov," the AI replies instantly. "Not a head of HYDRA, merely a high-ranking handler in charge of the Winter Soldier program."
Bucky pales. He remembers that program. The five other soldiers that he was made to train. That he was abused by. He remembers when they were put into cryofreeze. He doesn't remember feeling much during his years as the Winter Soldier, but he remembers the strong sense of relief that had come over him then.
"Not them," he finds himself whispering. "Don't wake them. They'll destroy anything. Everything."
He almost doesn't register the wide-eyed looks he gets. The memories come storming back angrily, ghosts of pain whispering across his skin and leaving bruises in their wake.
"There's more Soldiers?" Romanoff asks, and for once, she looks vaguely shaken.
"We'll get something figured out," Steve says, and Bucky can tell he's trying to sound reassuring. "We'll figure this all out."