Reina wiped another steady bead of sweat across her brow, enjoying the cooling sensation it left on her flushed skin. She had been at the studio now for a few hours. She knew she was pushing herself hard, but she wanted to get her solo practiced just one more time. There was always something, even just the tiniest thing that she could improve on.
This wasn't just any practice; this was the last practice she would have before performing in her big show that night. It was also possibly the last practice she would ever have, especially after the ultimatum Yukke had given her.
She had taken the time to speak with the studio director, making sure her plans for her hair and makeup truly matched his vision for the show. He had offered to provide her with a stylist, but she had insisted on doing everything herself. As long as she was the one to do it, he wouldn't have to waste any more of his money on her.
It was hard to listen to him talk about his wonderful plans with her for years to come. All the shows he wanted to do and the tours they would take around Japan sounded like her dream come true. She didn't have it in her that day to tell him that she was quitting.
If it was going to be her last time dancing here, she was going to make the most of it. It was the least she could do after the studio had given her such a wonderful opportunity.
Now that her music was paused, Reina could hear light giggling coming from the room down the hall. The rest of the cast had been having a last-minute group rehearsal. It wasn't planned by the director, meaning no one had been forced to invite her to join. Even though she performed her group numbers like a true member of the team, she was still treated like an outcast.
"I think you need to take a break there. You wouldn't want to hurt yourself before opening night!"
Reina looked into the mirror to see the small group of girls leaving the studio. The one that called out to her was Nozomi Fujiwara, a girl Reina's age who had practically grown up in the studio. She and all of the girls accompanying her were in the performance tonight, but none had as important of a role. A fact that she knew burned Nozomi from the inside out with jealousy.
She would like it if I hurt myself…Reina thought bitterly...she's my understudy after all….
The girls only needed one reason to hate Reina: she was a headlining dancer and they weren't. It was difficult being the new addition and already having a starting role. The others had already labeled her as a kiss-ass or even worse, a slut. She had heard the whispering rumors about her and felt the mean stares from the veteran dancers.
Reina prided herself on not allowing their jealousy to get to her. She danced because she loved it and was good at it, not because she wanted to make friends.
She sighed softly.
Even if she told herself that, she knew that having a friend wouldn't be such a bad thing. Maybe she wouldn't feel the need to push herself so hard if there was someone she could count on, waiting to tell her what a good job she did. Maybe she wouldn't feel so utterly lonely all the time if she had one of those girls to ride the train home with her….or someone to stick up for her at home.
The thought of Yukke again made her want to cringe.
He had come into their room last night, reeking of liquor. He climbed into bed and whispered in her ear about how happy they will be when she finally gets a real job. Even though she had been pretending to be asleep, she still couldn't stop a rogue tear from squeezing past her shut eyes.
The thought of a life without dance was saddening, but even more powerful was the fear of living on her own. Reina had been with Yukke since she was 18; he had taken care of her when she was just a new adult, completely naïve to the world around her.
When she was young, she had lost her father quite unexpectedly. The tragic event was so sudden and painful to the family, and her mother completely abandoned her duties afterwards. Reina had felt so lonely back then too, like she had no one or nothing on her side.
But Yukke had been there for her when she needed someone, and he helped her through the grief. He made her feel like she had someone to rely on. It was a terrible reason to stay with a man as drunk and unhappy as him, but she felt that she owed him her loyalty.
Thinking about her situation at home was making her anxious. If she dwelled on it for too long she feared that her heart would actually break.
She took a deep breath, forcing herself to relax; she needed to save all of her energy and emotion to wow the audience with on the stage. She sat down in the center of the dance floor, closing her eyes and stretching the tight feeling out of her sore calves.
"Oh good, I'm glad to see you're giving yourself a break for once," a voice called from the doorway.
The voice belonged to Satoru, Reina's lead partner for the show. She didn't know much about the guy other than the fact that he was an amazing dancer. She also couldn't help but notice how handsome he was; his dark brown eyes always looked at her with patience and kindness. She didn't need to know anything else in order to trust him.
She smiled up at him, breathing deeply to clear any remnants of her sad thoughts.
"I just want tonight to go perfectly. I know I should be easier on myself, but I just want to do my best, you know?"
Satoru laughed. He always seemed so easy going. It was a nice change to what she had grown accustomed to.
"I don't think you have anything to worry about. I'm the one that's probably going to mess up tonight," he rubbed the back of his head sheepishly.
"I kinda got too wild at the party last night. You should've been there…all the fairies dyed our hair together when we were drunk so you can imagine how dumb we all looked this morning. Let's just say I had to do a few touch-ups," he laughed, brushing back his now-orange bangs.
Reina looked down at her ballet flats, hoping she didn't seem too pathetic. Satoru must not have known that she was never invited to the party. She must not have been wanted. Not that it mattered….Yukke would never have let her go to a party like that anyways.
"Well I should get home. Let me know if you need a ride to the auditorium tonight. It's pretty far into the city, but I managed to borrow my roommate's car. It's a piece of crap, but it'll get us there," he stated with a bright smile.
Reina returned the kind gesture but had to refuse his offer. Yukke had promised to take her and to stay to watch the show, even if she did have to beg and bribe him to do so.
After saying goodbye to her dance partner, Reina decided that it was best for her to go home and begin the long process of getting ready for the show. She had to shower, style her hair, put on her makeup, and not to mention, change into the tiny leotard that she still had to pick up from the tailor on the way home.
When she glanced at her phone, she felt her heart jump into her throat. She was sure that time was moving much faster than usual. With how much she still had left to do, and with all the jealous girls just hoping for her to fail, being late was not an option.
By the time Reina had finished her shower, she heard the familiar sounds of Yukke arriving home. She opened the bathroom door to see him on the couch, a glass of clear liquid in one hand and a remote control in the other. He still had his suit on, but his shoes were kicked off and his tie was left hanging loosely around his neck.
"Is that…alcohol?" Reina asked, pointing to the cup with her eyebrows raised.
Yukke immediately narrowed his eyes at her, defensively recoiling with a light snarl on his lips.
"So what if it is?"
She closed her eyes, inhaling slowly so that she could control the bitter annoyance that was swelling deep inside of her. She forced her voice to be mellow, suppressing the screams and curses fighting their way out.
"I thought you would drive us to the auditorium tonight. You know I've never driven in the city before," she commented with the tone of disappointment plain in her voice.
"Yea…about that."
Yukke swirled the drink in his hand and she could hear the ice clink against the glass.
"I don't think I want to go with you tonight," he began.
Before she could even react, he continued with a smile, as if he knew what he was going to say next would cheer her up. "But you can take the car still…and I'll record Channel 41 just in case they interview the cast, alright?"
Reina closed her eyes again, feeling like that was the only reaction that could fit the way she was feeling at the moment:letdown and exasperated. But it was nothing new.
"Fine…I'm going to start getting ready then," she mumbled as she turned to lock herself back in her bathroom. Once inside, she stared at her makeup-less face in the mirror, wondering how she could still have any tears left to fight back. Yukke had disappointed her a thousand times…why would she still let it get to her?
Damnit Reina, don't cry now she told herself firmly as she wiped the forming tears out the corners of her eyes. She couldn't let him bring her down, not on her big night. She tried not to think about how excited she was that for once her boyfriend would watch her be the star. Just maybe she would impress him and she would get to hear a compliment come out of his mouth instead of his usual judgements.
She forced herself to focus on her makeup and not her overwhelming disappointment. The more she distracted herself, the more she was convinced that Yukke's flakiness was a blessing.
He would only get jealous and cause a scene anyway she thought to herself as she applied her mascara. The stark, black color made her golden eyes shine and she smiled at the effect.
The last time she had put on this much makeup, Yukke had taken her to a Christmas party with all the members of his office. Plenty of his colleagues had offered her drinks and asked her to dance, and when one handsome broker put his arm around her, the whole night went to hell. Yukke had been so drunk that when he woke up the next morning, he couldn't recall how or why he received his black eye and busted lip.
At the time she had fussed over him, but now the thought made her chuckle to herself.
Reina moved on from her eyes to adding the finishing touches on her face. She dusted a glittery powder over her forehead and cheekbones and finished by applying a thin layer of baby-pink gloss to her lips.
She finally stepped back to admire herself in the mirror. Her curls, though still slightly damp, spiraled around her highlighted face and her eyes seemed larger and more inviting. She thought she nailed the ethereal look that the director wanted and it made her giddy inside.
Before Reina slipped into her costume, she stopped to study the thin fabric of her leotard. It was the same color as her skin and left little to the imagination with its low-cut back and plummeting front. She gulped as she began to pull the garment up her body.
This sucker better fit she cursed to herself multiple times, inching the stretchy material up past her thighs. She had practically been starving herself for weeks in preparation.
Low grunts echoed in the bathroom as she struggled to adjust to the feel of the constricting fabric. While she was indeed petite, the leotard was so form fitting that it showed off curves she wasn't used to having out in the open. She pulled the over-dress on, hoping it would ease her worries.
The green garment practically floated across Reina's skin, ending at the middle of her thighs. While the dress had sleeves and a skirt, the rhinestoned, gauze-like fabric didn't provide her with the comfort that she expected.
Despite the feeling of having too much skin on display, Reina had to admit that the costume looked gorgeous on her. The delicate fabric was the same color as her hair and it swished as she twirled, the light catching on its many embedded jewels. There were small flowers stitched into the chest and sleeves, matching the flower halo that she gingerly placed on the top of her head. All she needed now were her dance shoes and her wings for her costume to be complete.
As she gazed at herself in the mirror, she felt the overwhelming excitement resonate through her. In one short hour she would be on a stage in front of a few hundred people, dazzling them with her skills. She imagined how the stage lights would bounce off her costume, casting sparkles of light over the audience.
She would truly embody the fairy queen.
Now that she was ready, Reina felt nothing but relief for the fact that Yukke decided not to join her. Between the makeup and the showy outfit, he was bound to throw a tantrum the likes of which she had never seen. All it would take is for some man in the crowd to compliment her and he would lose it.
She wasn't even sure that he would be okay with her leaving the house looking the way she did. If the couch wasn't facing the bathroom door she would consider just slipping out without even telling him goodbye. But there was no way of avoiding it.
She sighed.
Let's get this over with.
Reina pushed the door open slowly, peering around the corner to see if Yukke still remained in the same position. He was seated comfortably on the couch, completely absorbed in whatever he was watching. He took another sip of his drink before calling out to her.
"Wow, a whole hour and a half spent just putting makeup on? You must not care if you're late," he grumbled.
She could hear the slight slurring of his words. There was no way that he was sipping the same drink as before. Knowing him, he had to be on drink number three or four by now. It was all the more reason she needed to rush out.
She stepped lightly, hoping he didn't look up from the TV as she moved lithely to the front door.
"I think I definitely have enough time to get there as long as I leave right now. I'll just take the keys…okay….bye Yukke."
She grabbed the set of keys off the counter and took another step towards the front door, silently praying she wouldn't get a response.
"Wait a second!"
The displeasure in Yukke's voice made her sigh deeply as she turned to face him. Her boyfriend's eyes were narrowed and he made a quick, though slightly clumsy, move to stand from the couch.
"You're not going like that," he stated irately, pointing at her revealing costume.
Again, Reina sighed, moving to grab her trench coat.
"Of course I'm going to cover up until I get there. I'll be in the car anyway, so no one will see."
Yukke shook his head, still scowling at her as if she had insulted him.
"But everyone will see you like that at the show," he started. He spoke as if he just now realized that fact. "You have to change….you're not wearing that."
His irrational statement made Reina laugh out loud, the kind of sarcastic laugh that would normally make him angry with her.
"This is my costume Yukke," she replied plainly with a shake of her head. "Whether you like it or not, it's what I have to wear. Don't be so dramatic."
Yukke took another step towards her, the anger in his voice becoming tangible.
"Reina…I said you have to change! There's no way in hell I'm letting you leave the house in that!"
The sudden increase in his volume made her stomach jump. The last time he was this adamant about something, he had started a scene in the middle of a crowded market. He had grabbed her wrist and forcefully pulled her all the whole way home, just because she had given her phone number to an old friend from high school.
"You're being crazy," she snapped back as she hurriedly tied her coat and grabbed her purse. "This is what I'm wearing and that's final!"
His advancing presence frightened her more, stopping her from opening the door to leave.
"Fine, if you want to go out looking like a whore, then you can't take my car."
His words made her jaw drop and she felt her expression twist into one of disbelief.
"You're kidding me right? Yukke, that's ridiculous."
"Give me my keys," he demanded, reaching out to take a firm hold of her wrist.
Reina's fist clenched, tightening around the metal ring that she had in her unrelenting grasp. Her eyes narrowed and she felt the rage she had been trying to contain overflow. She knew her neighbors would be able to hear her, but at this point she could care less.
"Yukke, let go of me!" she screamed. "You're being a drunk asshole and you're going to make me lat-…"
*smack*
She hardly had time to react to the open hand as it came down across her cheek. Her body nearly went limp, responding from both the shock and the stinging pain from where he had struck her. Her mouth fell open and her tightened fist relaxed, dropping the keys to the floor.
The harsh sound of metal against laminate snapped her out of her daze. Her lip quivered and her eyes stung as tears began to break the surface. Yukke had never hit her before, but she would be lying to herself if she said he wasn't capable of it. The look of crazed fury in his eyes should have been enough of a warning.
Yukke bent to pick up his car keys. She could hear his breath, seething from his clenched jaw as he came face to face with her again. In turn, she could smell the bitter stench of alcohol rolling towards her.
"You can take the train to your damn show for all I care. And when it's over….don't even bother coming home. I'll have your shit boxed up by the door."
Reina's face twisted into an odd expression that felt painful. She imagined it was a mixture of anger and pain with an added repulsion, as if she had been smacked by him all over again.
He slipped his keys into his pocket and turned to walk to the sofa where he sat back down in his previous spot. His nonchalant movements almost suggested that nothing had happened.
"You better go," he muttered, his voice almost drowned out by the sound of the TV as he unmuted.
"Or aren't you worried about being late?"