"Quit following me, Potter!" Lily snarled.
"I'm not following you," he chuckled, hurrying slightly behind her to keep up with her merciless pace.
"Then why are you still here," she demanded, whirling around suddenly, causing James to almost slam into her.
He cocked his head in amusement. "The same reason you're here. McGonagall and Dumbledore asked for extra help prowling the corridors at night after the latest round of attacks on–"
"I know that," Lily said shortly, clearly unamused. "We both volunteered. What I mean is, why are you still here, right next to me, when their clear instructions were to cover as much ground as possible?"
James took a deep breath, refusing to look away from her hypnotic eyes–hypnotic even when flashing with anger–and opted for candor: "Because I'm worried about you. You're–"
"I knew it!" Lily shouted, stomping in the opposite direction once more. "You don't think I can take care of myself and you're here trying to act like some knight in shining armor. Well, I've had enough of this rub–"
"I know you can take care of yourself!" James interrupted angrily, storming after her.
"Then why are you still here?"
"Because even though you can take care of yourself, that doesn't mean you always have to," he answered carefully. "Just hear me out!" James said preemptively, palms raised in a placating gesture when he saw Lily whirl around indignantly once more.
She narrowed her eyes, but fell silent.
"You're a muggle-born–"
"I'm aware."
"-which means that if some nasty Slytherin, wanna-be-Death-Eater is awake and looking for a target, you might be their prime choice, in which case, two fighters is better than one, no matter how competent that one may be." With his impromptu speech finished, he nodded to himself with a slight smile, confident in his articulation and expecting to see Lily smile in turn.
She did not.
With a voice as hard as stone, she replied, "Did it not cross your mind that you are just as likely a target? I may be a muggle-born, but you are a pure-blood traitor who is dating a muggle-born, is friends with a werewolf, and is housing the noble house of Black's disgraced heir."
"Either way, two is better than one. It's a win-win," James shrugged unconcerned.
"And yet, you let Sirius and Remus patrol alone at night when they are as much a target as the rest of us. Do you not trust me? Is that it?"
"Of course I trust you!" James said, exasperated.
"Then why are you treating me differently?"
"Because you're my girlfriend! You are my girlfriend and they are my mates and if I patrolled with them, Merlin knows that that could become very unproductive, very fast. Why are you so determined to do this alone? Why won't you just accept my help?"
"I will be happy to accept your help when I need it, but that is not. Right. Now."
"But I'm just–"
"James," Lily interrupted, squeezing her eyes closed and her voice suddenly adopting a softer tone. "Please. Just… I need some time to think and I would like to do that alone."
James stilled, his eyes growing wide with concern. He took a tentative step towards her. "Is everything alright? What's going on?"
"I'll be fine. I just need some time to myself, okay? Please just… let me finish this patrol on my own."
James nodded slowly, his gaze searching over her for clues as to what was going on beneath her surface. "Okay. Fine. I'll leave. Just be careful."
"I will," she whispered.
He turned and headed up the nearest set of stairs, every step taking a generous amount of stubbornness to not turn around and fly back to comfort her and her unsung troubles.
"You don't need to wait up," she said quietly
"I will," he responded over his shoulder as he disappeared down the dark corridor, his mind a confused jumble, trying to sort through what had just happened.
Lily turned and pressed her lips together, suppressing a sob. A sob of regret for taking her frustration out on James when he didn't deserve it. A sob of hopelessness at the ever-growing list of victims in this war that was piled on every morning when the papers arrived. A sob of anger at why everything had to be so hard: the danger with the upcoming NEWT exams with figuring out her own future with the ever-present loom of war. A sob of loneliness and a sob of nothing but deep sadness for the letter that arrived that morning from her sister, notifying her that she was getting married and that Lily was under no circumstances to be invited.
Persistent tears leaked out of the corner of her eyes, despite her will trying to keep them in, and soon she was sniffing loudly in the silent hallway. She stalked down the dark corridor nonetheless, determined to finish her job and took a few deep, shuddering breaths to steady herself. She crossed her arms, her lit wand tucked into the crook of her elbow, and she ducked her head, watching her feet as the stone floor passed by.
"Get yourself together, Evans," she reprimanded firmly, shaking her head as she rounded the corner.
Her wand flew out of her hand, sliding between her fingers before she could strengthen her grip to hang on to it. She looked up in surprise, dropping her arms, and saw a new light blooming in the hallway opposite the wide room she had just entered. Her heart hammered violently against her chest; her sadness was instantly replaced by fear and adrenaline.
"Well, well, well," a low voice drawled and four more wands were lit, revealing four students swathed in Slytherin robes. "If it isn't little Miss Evans, out for a stroll, all alone," Avery continued menacingly, his thin lips curling into a humorless grin.
"All alone and wandless," Macnair crooned from his side.
"What do you want?" Lily demanded, hearing her voice miraculously come out steady.
"Well, it's initiation time, you see. And lucky for you, it looks like you are our lucky volunteer to be a part of it!" Avery replied, continuing his slow pace towards her.
Lily couldn't see any way out of this. She was in a wide open room with nowhere close enough to make an escape. She couldn't run, she couldn't fight without her wand, she couldn't wait for help given it was nearing midnight.
"Give me back my wand and I won't report you," Lily offered, her voice carrying authority she knew they cared nothing about.
"An interesting offer," Avery replied, his grin growing. "Why don't we let our joining recruits decide?"
Avery and Macnair slid to the side to reveal two more dark-haired students, their faces pale in the wandlight and eyes wide in apprehension.
"What do you say, Severus? Should I give the mudblood her wand back? Or should we get on with initiation?" Avery asked, leaning in towards him so that his taunt came out just by his ear.
Snape didn't reply, only stared at Lily who refused to break his gaze, forcing her head up high.
"Thoughts, Regulus?" Macnair asked when Severus did not deign to reply.
Regulus waited a beat before clearing his throat and responding, "I think I would like to decline her offer."
"Thatta boy," Avery said happily, slapping him on the back. "And I must say, we really couldn't have asked for a better situation, could we?"
"No, definitely not," Macnair agreed conversationally, his eyes gleaming and staring at Lily who was still racking her brains desperately for a way out of this.
"Here we were, wondering if Severus really had what it takes to be a Death Eater, and now, the perfect proof! The proof caught unaware, practically waiting for us, in the form of his little school-boy mudblood crush."
"You know what you have to do," Macnair said, his voice losing its casual air and he circled behind the two recruits, goading them. "Do it and you're in. Do it and you're one of us. One of the Dark Lord's circle."
Macnair and Avery backed away behind Severus and Regulus, watching them intently, their eyes wild in anticipation.
"Severus," Lily started tentatively. "Please, don't… don't do whatever it is you have to do. You're better than this. I know you are. Don't prove all my friends right."
"I used to be your friend," he said in a low voice, every word causing him pain, though his wand was still pointing at the floor while Regulus had raised his.
Pushing her hair behind her ear, Lily frantically changed tactics, no longer caring if the blatant pleading made her appear weak. "Regulus, you don't have to do this. We can help you, Sirius made it out. He–"
"DON'T say his name! That traitor is no–no family of mine!" he said indignantly, his voice catching slightly and anger flashing across his face.
Lily turned back to Snape, her eyes wide. "Sev," she started again, not entirely sure what to say, but desperate to try anything. "You're better than this," she whispered. "Please be better than this. I need you to be better than this. I–I can't take another heartbreak."
Mortified, she could feel the hot tears closing in and her lip was on the verge of quivering, despite her best intentions. Why did she send James away? Why didn't she just tell him about everything that had happened? Why couldn't Petunia forgive her for who she was? Why did her parents have to leave her alone with no one but Petunia? Why was she stubborn enough to get caught four-on-one and wandless? Why did it have to be Severus and Regulus? Why?
"You or me first?" Regulus asked, stepping forward. He glanced back and saw that Snape hadn't moved, so he set his jaw, and nodded imperceptibly, steeling himself for what needed to be done.
"Flipendo!" he cried and Lily was flung backwards, off her feet like a ragdoll.
The breath was knocked out of her and she skidded against the cold floor, the side of her body aching. But before she could even push herself up, she heard Regulus' voice again.
"Crucio!"
Someone was screaming. Her bones were being torn apart. Her insides were on fire. Knives were being plunged into her body over and over again.
Lily didn't know what was happening other than pain in every form imaginable.
She wanted the pain to end. She wanted it to end. She needed it to end, she didn't care how.
She wasn't sure how long it lasted, though it felt like hours, an eternity.
Then it was over, the pain slowly ebbed away until a violent ache remained coursing through her veins. Her throat was raw–apparently it had been her screaming–and she was shaking uncontrollably, still huddled on the floor.
"Well done, Regulus!" Avery said, though his voice suddenly sounded far away.
Regulus was breathing deeply, his chest heaving, but she heard his uncertain voice respond saying, "Easy." He gleaned at Lily and swallowed heavily before tearing his gaze away and crossing his arms to keep his hands occupied and keep them from trembling.
"You're up, Snape," Macnair said with a vindictive gleam.
Lily lifted her head off the floor and pushed herself into a seated position, her arms as heavy as lead. She no longer pleaded or tried to reason. She just stared at him with cold fury in her emerald eyes.
If Snape was going to torture her or hurt her, she wanted him to look at her while he did it.
Snape's gaze met hers and his resolution wavered. His wand dropped a centimeter and doubt filled his bones.
"Come on, Snape," Regulus egged on. "You know the spell."
"You can use any spell. Get creative," Avery added gleefully.
His gaze hardened once more and he slowly raised his wand, pointing it straight at her chest.
I'm sorry, he mouthed.
"Coward," Lily spat just as he cried, "Sectumsempra!"
Her hands slipped on the floor and she fell back against the stone, cuts searing her skin. Blood was seeping through her clothes and that last thing she heard before she fell unconscious was victorious laughter, her wand dropping unceremoniously to the floor, and Snape's staggering footsteps away from her.
Sirius's tired eyes watched James as he paced relentlessly in the Gryffindor Common Room, wearing the carpet thin. Peter was curled up on the plush armchair like a cat, fast asleep, while Remus was half-awake, but staring at the ceiling as he slouched on the couch.
"Prongs, give it a rest, mate," Sirius eventually said into the quiet. "Your pacing is making me anxious."
"I am anxious!" James replied with heat, his pacing never missing a step. "She's still not back!"
"You said she was agitated about something. Maybe she's staying out late to think things through," Sirius replied complacently.
"It's well past midnight on a school night. She wouldn't do that," James instantly fired back.
"Then maybe she fell asleep," Remus added, his eyes on the verge of fluttering closed.
James ran a hand through his hair, wide awake, and finally stopped his pacing. "That's it, I'm checking the map," he announced before sprinting up the steps two at a time.
Sirius closed his eyes and leaned into the corner of the sofa, intending to make use of the peace left in James' nervous wake. But before he knew it, James was barrelling back towards them, map in hand. James collapsed on the sofa in between Sirius and Remus and flung the parchment open.
"Help me look," James demanded.
Sharing an exasperated look behind his back, Sirius and Remus leaned forward to comply, their three sets of eyes scanning along the pages.
"There," Remus said before long, pointing to the label reading 'Lily Evans'. "She's on the ground floor. Isn't that where she's supposed to be?"
James pursed his lips. "Yes, but why is she still there? That's only a few hallways down from where I left her."
"We've been through this, Prongs," Sirius answered with a hint of annoyance, leaning back against the couch once more. "She probably just needs some time alone."
"But she's not even moving," James insisted.
Remus' eyes narrowed suspiciously now and he stared determinedly at her dot, hoping that his sheer will it would move. The two Gryffindors were silent as they watched her anxiously. Seconds ticked by. Then a minute. Then two and still, Lily Evans had not moved an inch.
"Why isn't she moving?" Remus murmured.
"Not you too," Sirius groaned. "Can't you just talk to her in the morning so we can all go to sleep? Wormtail's got the right idea here."
"Shut up, Padfoot," Remus said carelessly. "Let's look around, Prongs."
He flipped a few pages of the map, looking for other footsteps moving, anything to give them a clue.
"No one else is on the floor," James muttered. "Or the one above it."
"But they are below it. Look," Remus said, pointing to the dungeons. There, a cluster of dots were all milling about in the hall outside the Slytherin Common Room and far too familiar names were among them.
Remus and James shared a glance before James bolted straight up. "Right. I'm going to check on her."
"Prooongs," Sirius whined petulantly. "I'm tired."
"I'm coming too," Remus said, ignoring Sirius and jumping to his feet.
"Okay, okay, I'm coming," he groaned dramatically, as if there was ever a doubt, and he pushed himself off the sofa. "Oi! Wormtail! Get off your arse, we're leaving."
Peter started awake and after muttering a few incoherent curses, he staggered after them through the portrait hole, rubbing sleep from his eyes.
"Where is she? The map said she should be straight down this hallway," James said quietly. His heart was beating frantically and his hand felt slippery as it gripped his lit wand. Something felt terribly wrong, even though nothing seemed out of the ordinary yet. All was in its place in the castle. All except Lily.
Sirius flicked his wand overhead and the light at its tip was flung like a catapult until it hung in the center of the wide hall.
Four sets of eyes settled on the same thing at the same instant, though James was the first to react.
"Shit," he cursed, sprinting towards the comatose figure sprawled at the base of one shadowy wall, the fiery red words spelling 'Mudblood' shimmering in the air above. He collapsed to his knees and reached out, not sure what to do, where to touch, how to help. All he could see was red.
There was blood everywhere. Lily was lying unconscious in a pool of her own blood, staining her crisp white shirt an ugly pink and skin was unnaturally pale against its sheen. Deep gashes were spread across her body–across her chest, her legs, one stretched the entire length from her shoulder to elbow.
"Lily, please…," he found himself begging, a tear escaping from behind his glasses.
"Sirius, Wormtail, get McGonagall. Now," Remus said sternly from behind him. Without another word, the two boys sprinted up the stairs as fast as possible while Remus crouched beside James.
James reached forward, his hands trembling violently, but he couldn't bring himself to touch her for fear of finding her skin as cold as death.
Biting back his own sense of dread, Remus tenderly placed two fingers against Lily's exposed neck, brushing away her hair and it seemed as if the whole world was holding its breath.
"Thank Merlin," Remus sighed a moment later. "She's alive."
"She's alive?" James asked.
Remus gave a succinct nod. "She's alive," he smiled in relief.
James laughed–a quick, short burst of joy. He swiped at his nose and let the tears fall freely, a mix of tension, shock, fear, and relief.
"It's okay, Lils," he murmured, now stroking her cheek, too afraid to attempt any healing spells that would make whatever this was worse. "We got you. You'll be okay." He didn't dare move his gaze from her face, unable to cope with the sight of her torn body.
Remus covered his mouth with his hands and was rocking back and forth on his feet, still crouched in a ball. His eyes continued to rove up and down, from her head to her toes and back, unable to leave the sight of one of his closest friends lying in a pool of her own blood.
"She'll be okay," he found himself muttering to himself. "McGonagall's coming. She'll know what to do. She'll be okay. She'll be okay. She'll be okay…"
"Come on, love," James muttered, brushing her hair out of her face. "We got you. I got you."
Remus jumped to his feet at the sound of footsteps pounding against the stone floor. Sirius was sprinting towards them, McGonagall in a plaid nightgown and worn robe a step behind with Peter taking up the rear.
"Oh my," McGonagall said, taking in the scene and slowing to a stop. One hand raised to her mouth in horror and she froze in shock.
"Professor?" Remus asked, his eyes locking onto hers and kindling her into action.
"Out of the way, Potter," she commanded.
Sirius stepped forward and with a hand on his shoulder, guided James away so that McGonagall could get closer.
After a few moments of studying Lily's unconscious form, she shook her head and stood up to face the four Gryffindors. "I don't dare try to heal this myself. She needs the Infirmary Wing. Go awaken Madame Gibson and tell her what has happened. I'll levitate Miss Evans and meet you there."
They all shared a glance before Peter and Sirius sprinted up the dark steps once more.
"Don't touch a thing, boys," McGonagall warned. "Leave all of this here."
They nodded mutely and stood back to watch as McGonagall summoned a white stretcher to carry Lily's prone body in front of them. James' breath was caught in his throat as he continuously reminded himself that it was not a corpse, no matter how much it looked like it. Tears streamed silently down James' cheeks while Remus simply felt numb.
This was all a bad dream, after all.
Surely he would wake up and none of this had happened.
The war couldn't hit so close to home quite so soon.
This wasn't happening.
I hope you enjoyed this dark addition to the collection. I was thinking of making this a multi-part story, what do you all think?