A/N: I finished it. I apologize that it took me so long. Life has been little bit crazy, and Leon started sulking. You find out from this chapter why, he did not like what happen in this part, but it was only for his own good. But enjoy and please review, tell me what you think.
He did as he promised, on the first day off, he headed to Leodegrance. But he did not lock himself to the wine cellar. For the first evening he cried on his mother's
shoulder. Let all the pain out, his mother just hold him, saying nothing, only giving him comfort. Second day, she sat him down and told him to talk, having been
married to a knight she had learned how to help someone with survivor's guilt, she had never seen her youngest so broken. She listened, that was the only thing she
could do. Listen and thank the gods that her son returned to her.
On the third day Bryndis saw how her youngest son was returning to himself, but there was something else she could not place. Leon was strange, he was sadder, but
it was not the guilt that was heavy on his heart.
For few more days she danced around the subject, she could not pinpoint what was going on and Leon was evasive. He did not want to talk to his mother about it, he
always turned the subject to the rebuilding of the villages. He knew at the time he was away Camelot city, and the citadel were in repairs. And as soon as the city was
in order, it was time for him to present his plans for the outlying villages.
She let Leon have his own way for a few days, but on the sixth day, when she was waiting him for dinner, and he had not shown up, she went to find him.
He was not in the library, not in his room, not in the study. Finally, she found him sitting on a wall before the wine cellar door. He had a goblet in his hand and two
pitchers beside him. She raised an eyebrow and decided if drastic measures were needed then be it. She found herself a goblet and sat down beside her son. "Pour
your old mother some wine, my little lion cub."
Leon raised an eyebrow when he filled Bryndis' goblet. "You are not old, and I am not little."
"Thank you for saying and you know you are always little to me. Even if you are few inches taller than me and twice my side." She looked at him, her proud son, who
never shown what he felt, after he had gone to service of Uther, after the nightmares and fear. He kept everything close at his heart.
"There is something on your heart that you have not told me." She saw his frown. "Leon, survivor's guilt is not the only thing you are hiding here for. I know you."
Leon was quiet, gazing something at the distant. It seemed like he was looking for a lost love.
Seeing that, it hit her. "Are you in love?"
Leon looked at his goblet and then took a big swallow.
Both her eyebrows rose. "You are? Why are you not floating in the clouds? Reciting poetry, writing it?" Leon looked at her.
"That bad? In your childhood, you wrote better poetry than your brothers."
"That tells a lot how bad Bayard and Erec were at it." Leon smirked.
Bryndis looked at Leon, she knew her youngest, he was good at changing subject.
"When I fell in love with your father, I was afraid, all my being shook at the thought of marrying a knight. I did not imagine what could come. But as soon as he
smiled every fear disappeared, he took my soul and heart." She rose, lost in her own memories. "When Uther conquered Camelot and gave you father this estate,
Lionel did not want to become country noble, he would have done anything to give Leodegrance away. But then I took everything here on my shoulders, so he could
go do the job he loved. Every time I sent him on his way, I was afraid that he would never return. And then one day he did not. I lost him, the love of my life, I
grieved for him, I lived on, but my love never changed for him." She smiled sadly. "But he left me with you three. When I look Bayard or looked Erec I saw him. The
love of my life, he is always there in their looks, their laughs. You are the only one who looks like me, with your hair, your eyes. But your smile is his. I would not have
you, if I would have stayed afraid."
She turned to Leon, Bryndis wanted to comfort her son, but she knew right now, it was not the time.
"That is not the problem. Yes, I know that there might be a time when I won't return from a quest. The problem is that she is not a noble born." It felt like all the
word trouble were in the sigh that Leon let out.
"The Law of Nobility should be …" She did not finish the sentence, because Leon said: "Mother. Do not speak treason, you do not know who could be listening."
Now it was Bryndis turn to sigh, Leon was right. Then she collected herself and looked at her boy. "Leon, you forget who you are, you are the son of Lionel and
Bryndis Leodegrance, prince Arthur's second in command and oldest friend and one of king Uther's favourite knights." At the last part Leon raised his eyebrow.
"I know you are. You are not the only one who writes to me. What I mean, is they can and would make an exception for you."
"If they make exception for me, they have to do exception for everyone."
"You have objection for everything. So, lets us make it simple, for the peace of you heart and mind, you should tell Merlin how you feel."
Bryndis wished that she knew how to paint, because her son's flabbergasted face should be on her wall forever. "How did you know it is Merlin?"
"Because how you write about her, I imagine I wrote about Lionel the same way. And you my darling lion cub, you just told me." She knelt before Leon. She placed
her fingers under Leon chin and raised it, so Leon was looking right at her eyes. "How deeply do you love her?"
"I would give my life for her. If I could, I would take her far away from it all, I would try to change the world for her." It came deep from his heart. Bryndis had never
seen so much emotion in Leon's eyes.
"That kind of love comes once in a lifetime. My darling boy, I cannot tell you that you must tell her, but you should or otherwise you lose her forever." At that, tears
rolled down from Leon's eyes.
"Oh, my dear boy." She embraced him, never had she seen her son so broken.
Something changed in him after that evening, seemed like he had found purpose again. He spent next day's drawing out the plan for the repairs of the outlying
villages. Bryndis gave her advice, she had helped renovated villages on the Leodegrance estate. Thankfully, Leon did not lock himself into the wine cellar and the best
of Leodegrance's wine stayed untouched.
When the day came for Leon's return to Camelot, Bryndis sigh in relive, not because Leon was leaving, but because she saw how much her son had improved in the
past days, gone was the gloom and sadness, there was now determination in him, her son was back.
"Be careful, Leon. And come visit me frequently than once a year. Or I will break my promise and come to court." Year ago, when Gaius had written to her that Leon
had gone blind after the encounter with the dragon. Bayard had stepped in and stopped her, when she had wanted to go and be on Leon's side, he had told her, that
Leon would write to her himself, if he wanted her there. It had hurt, but she stayed In Leodegrance waiting for her son's letter. The letter did not come, but her son
did. His eyes seeing and laughing.
"I will try." He kissed her onto the cheek. Bryndis pushed lock from her son's eyes. "I hold you to that promised."
"I am sure you will." Leon smiled and rose to his horse. "I will be back, farewell, mother."
"Farewell, Leon, keep yourself!" Leon took off, Bryndis waved as long as she could see her son. She sighed, at least she Leon was now back to normal. At that point
Bryndis was glad Bayard and Ivy were visiting Ivy's family, otherwise she would have as much luck. Bayard would have coaxed Leon to drink, teased and mocked him.
She loved his eldest, but the relationship between his sons was sometimes strained. Sometimes she suspected that Bayard had been jealous, Leon and Erec had the
freedom to do what they wished but his faith was to become a landlord. Bayard could never understand how his father could be a knight and govern an estate. But
Bayard did not have wife that his father had had.
Bryndis knew, her eldest son, he was not a knight even if Bayard wished to be. She knew if Bayard would have become a knight, she would have lost her eldest as
she had lost her second. Somehow, she knew that Leon would always return to her, she did not know where the feeling came, but she did not doubt it. She was not
going to lose another son.
Bell dolled ten at evening when Leon rode into the courtyard of Camelot, he started to take Minerva to the stables when the stable boy stopped him. "I will take her
Sir Leon. On orders of prince Arthur. He wanted you to know, that you have a long day tomorrow, so you should go and rest."
Leon wanted to argue, but as it was Arthur's order, he thanked the lad and handed over the reins, he took his saddlebags and headed to his rooms.
He took a breath, something about Camelot, got him every time, he returned. He loved the castle, it was home. Not that Leodegrance was not, but Leon knew that he
belonged to Camelot. It was so peaceful; the corridors were empty at the that time of eve. Only handful of servants were moving around, finishing last minute thing,
before heading to bed.
Leon loved the morning, but the best time of the day was the evening, when the calmness took over the castle and the world was falling to sleep.
But in his gut Leon knew the peaceful times were soon to be over again. In the two weeks, he had pushed it back to his mind, but as soon as he had returned to the
castle, the everything that happened started playing in his mind. Day after the siege, there had been a knighting ceremony, Leon had been right 20 new knights had
been knighted, Sir Erec amongst them.
That morning something had happened that Leon had not expected. King Uther had proclaimed Morgana the one, who broke the staff, but Leon was sure that it had
been Merlin who broke it. The look on Merlin's face had told him ever thing, it had been her not Morgana, why was the kings ward lying, what was going on?
But he knew, answers will find him, when the thing was happening not before, Merlin did not trust him. Leon could not out himself, that he knew about Merlin, she
herself, should tell him, it was her secret.
Opening his door he sighted, he knew the peace was short lived, something was coming, and he would not like it. He dropped saddlebags in front of his bed and sat
behind his desk, he had to be ready for everything.
He held back his groan when his eyes fell to the reports on his desk, Arthur had been busy. In the middle of the desk there was a letter.
Leon!
May everything that is holly, be thanked that you are back. I am on quest; I do not know when I will return. I believe that in your capable hands Camelot will be standing when I return.
In the morning at dawn, you have training with the new knights, you are the best one, to get them in shape.
At noon, there will be council meeting with the king.
And then there are the reports: patrol, new knights, quests and arrests. I placed them by categories onto your desk... alright Merlin place them. I just need you to look them through and give you signature.
Please try not to burn the castle down while I am away, but if you must, save my rooms.
Arthur
Praise the fool and the fool will work. Was the only thing what Leon could think, keeping his laugh at bay. Tomorrow would be a long day. There was no rest for the wicked.