I'm so sorry I've taken so long to get this out! I have a valid excuse though. I've been a History teacher for the past year and it takes up 447% of your time. Seriously.
But I am free for now, and am getting my fanfic on.
Comments/ reviews/ theories and anything you want to ask me at all - feel free. I always read and always appreciate. I've been living on reviews over the past year. Love them.

Chapter 12: also entitled 'Radio Gaga'

And I would walk five hundred miles
And I would walk five hundred more
Just to be the man who walked a thousand miles
To fall down at your door - 500 miles by the Proclaimers

"Why do you look so ill Krillin? Are you hungover?"
She giggled. With his head pounding, he didn't find this as cute as he used to.

"Maron… what…what are you doing here?" He asked, squinting up at the woman. She looked non-plussed.
"Well," she said, "you sent me a text last night asking me how I was, and we got chatting and since we were both out you suggested that we meet up – (Krillin groaned) – and here we are!"
"Really?"
"Really."
"That seems awfully contrived…" Krillin stared blankly at the ceiling for a moment, then let out a sad little sigh. "So did we…?"
She stared. Unblinking.
"…have the sex?" he whispered.
"did we have sex?" the woman squeaked, furrowed eyebrows.
"um… yes."
"We didn't."
"I… wha… we didn't?"
"Nope." She giggled.
"Wait then why are you here?"
"We were going to have the sex but then we didn't."
"Oh… that's…that's good." Krillin let out a breath he didn't know he was holding.
"We could have sex now if you'd like?"
"um… no. That's alright. I… hang on… what do you mean we didn't"
"Well, I think other people did."
"Who?"
But it was too late and she was up and out of the bed, sashaying towards the door wearing a shirt that was far far too big for her, and most definitely not Krillin's. He didn't dwell on it. He was too confused. He was too tired. Too hungover.
He lay back on the bed and tried to go back over the events of the night before.

...

The fog in his mind was clearing and he could see himself and 18 sitting on the pavement in front of the bar. He could see it all as if he were watching a tv. God. Is that what I sound like when I'm drunk? How the hell can I sound so nasal if I've got no-Is that what my hair looks like?!

They'd been talking. That was it. They'd left the others and went outside for fresh air. He had no idea how long they'd been outside, what they'd talked about. He dreaded to think, as he knew from experience that he was drunk prone to unveiling things best left unsaid or to the imagination.

"You're so annoying"
"Oh shut up you love it really. Otherwise you wouldn't still be here." Urgh. Nasal.
She gave him a funny look.
"Oh look its Sassy-pants again."
"That's Mr. Sassy-pants to you blondie."
"So rude."
"So mean."
"So short."
"So beautiful." And she was. Even with unfocused eyes, mussed up hair and the scent of liquor on her breath.
"That escalated quickly."
He looked (squinted) up at her, lovely and golden under the neon light of the streetlamps. All of the booze, all of the fear, the momentary joy of being so damn close to her, the panic and unrequited adoration melded and merged – forming one huge wave of bravery in the pit of Krillin's stomach. "You're perfect." Kami, did I really say that?

She gave him a small half-smile.
And with that he reached up and kissed her cheek lightly. She didn't slap him, or jerk away as he'd expected, but turned her head towards him and leaned forward slightly, eyes fluttering shut.
He then vomited into her lap.
Hot.

He blinked away the memory as the door opened.
It wasn't Marron, but Oolong. Sporting a wicked grin and barely containing his laughter – the shapeshifter let out a low whistle at his friend.
"Krillin buddy. I don't know how you do it."
"Neither do I Oolong. Neither do I."
"Hey, before you get too distracted – I suggest you go look in your room."

Krillin looked around. This wasn't his room. This was the spare room. Usually 18's.
Where was she?
He stared at the pig in an owlish fashion.
"Go. Look. In. your. Room."

...

Krillin couldn't tell whether he was amused or terrified with what he found in his room.

"What are you doing?" Krillin nudged a figure curled up into a ball of blankets the floor. The bed was untouched. A face peered out from a corner. There was no reply, only a scowling blank stare. The bedroom's occupant seemed to be having trouble processing what was going on.
"You know you could've used the bed."
Krillin shook his head and decided to give the dazed namekian some time to pull himself together. Maybe put some clothes on.

Yamcha had apparently decided to stay the night at Kame house too. At, being perhaps, the wrong word, as the ex-bandit was curled up outside on a deck chair, snoring.
Krillin couldn't decide whether he wanted a drink of water, to be sick or to roll into a corner and die.
Fortunately however, his stomach chose for him and he barely made it to the sink before vomiting .

Apparently, almost everyone had followed Krillin home and after collapsing into unconscious heaps on chairs and the settee, woke up suffering ungodly hangovers. The only member of the gang not there was Bulma – but that had only been because Yamcha was forced to phone Vegeta to come and collect her. She'd not only tried to buy the bar they'd been in, but had then started… suggesting things. Terrible questionable things. He couldn't really look Vegeta in the eye when he'd literally handed him the unconscious woman.

Krillin had trundled down his stairs that morning to be met with thunderous applause from Yamcha, 17, Tien. Even Chaouzu and Oolong. 18 was nowhere to be seen. Piccolo was probably drowning himself in the shower. Poor bastard. He'd socialised. The horror.
"Bravo. Bravo."
"Encore!"
"And for his next trick, the Great Krillini will make yet another woman appear out of thin air!"
"I hate you all."
Yamcha handed him an energy drink . "Tell us what you've gone and done now."
There was a dull thud from somewhere outside the window. Tien opened it and looked out.
"Yeah, I wouldn't try and fly for another hour or two."
There was a grumble of a reply from what Krillin assumed was a defeated and sandy namekian.

The monk nursed a tall glass of cold water with shaky hands as he sat quietly in the living room, the others staggering in at random intervals, staring blankly at the colourful sitcom muted on the TV set.
"deeeelightful"
18 got up and glided back into the club towards the toilets in one smooth motion. A look of bland disgust never leaving her perfect features. Krillin nodded sagely to himself, as he wiped sick from the corner of his mouth.
"That could've gone better." He croaked. Feeling much more sober.
But still. Progress.
"I just don't understand how they happened."
"Nobody does. I've asked them both but I get different stories. Neither of them will admit to giving in first. But I think that Trunks was the turning point in their relationship … so to speak."
"Why would you name your child that? It's bad enough he has lilac hair. But Trunks?"
"Yeah. Hell I'm starting to feel a bit sorry for him really. Which really tells you something, if its earning my pity." Krillin chuckled.
18 stopped mocking Bulma and Vegeta for a second to scrutinize her short companion.
"Stop doing that."
"What."
"That self-deprecating shit. It's annoying listening to you bully yourself," she seemed unsure of where to look, but hastily added; "means I can't do it."
Krillin shrugged and suddenly looked very uncomfortable.
"Aw c'mon it's all I've got. I mean… even I've got to admit, (and I've been to space so I overrule you), I'm pretty much a joke to the entire universe."
"No you're not." She said quietly, "not to me."
Oh. Blood had roared in his ears and the very thought that she didn't think him ridiculous was almost enough to make him spontaneously combust.
She flashed him a small smile which then vanished with the brief flash of warmth that had surged and broken in her eyes.

Oh yes, thought Krillin as he watched the android stomp off to wipe the vodka infused vomit from her front, there had been some progress.
He had not noticed, however, a familiar figure finish a cigarette and head back inside towards the toilets. Che did not need to be in at work the next day – and with all of this robot-android-cyborg craziness going on –he had needed a drink.

Krillin's phone buzzed to life.
here. at bar. xxx m
18 had dissapeared inside. Krillin looked at the phone again.

Yamcha made a unsubtle coughing sound and threw a cushion at his friend. "So what happened to you last night dude? I have a feeling I missed the best bits."

...
"…And then I was sick on her."
There was a collective groan from the audience Krillin had amassed on his living room floor.

"All of the girls in the world and you go for the emotionless cyborg who can kill you with her little finger?"
"All the girls? Do you even know me? And she's not emotionless! She just doesn't show it as much as other people do. She's…..subtle."
Tien and Chaouzu shared a look that seemed to solidify Krillin's status as a 'gonner'. 17 seemed bemused if anything. He'd been aware of the gigantic crush Krillin had on his sister, but had thought of it only really as that – a crush. Now it was getting interesting.
"Who's the girl who came home with us then?" he asked the monk.
"That… That's Maron. She's…"
"I was Krillin's girlfriend." Came a sickly sweet voice from the doorway, as Maron, clad in last night's dress (or enough material to constitute as a dress) walked in. 17 looked unconvinced, "really?" he said "I mean I've seen the files but…". The look on his face seemed to say, 'how the hell did he manage that?'
"Yeah," whispered Yamcha as he nudged him, "I know."
...

Maron had appeared just after 1am. She'd been out too, and had been thrilled when he phone had lit up and Krillin's name had appeared on the screen. She had always had a soft spot for Krillin, and he'd always treated her so well. The blue haired beauty weighed up her options; respond to the texts of an obviously drunk (but also confused?Upset?Worried? Krillin. She couldnt tell with such bad 'drunk text spelling'), catch up and be treated like a queen or stay at this bar and get hit on by guys with more fake tan and hairgel than braincells.
Easy choice.
She'd spotted that pretty baseballer guy and the insecure-about-her-age woman. Probably better to avoid those two, but Krillin would show up sooner or later so she sent him a text and struck up a conversation with two interesting looking bald men.
"I want to paint my kitchen that colour."
Ah Maron, making friends already.
...

It was 3 o'clock in the afternoon when 18 finally returned home, still wearing last night's clothes (ew that stain is never coming out), immensely dishevelled and still in a state of mild confusion. She was hoping to avoid bumping into Krillin for the rest of the day – silently hoping he was still sleeping off whatever the hell it was he had drunk the night before. The conversation, the horrific hour or so of drunken bonding that had occurred had led to way too much oversharing on both sides and quite frankly – it was going to be awkward.

The house was deserted apart from someone clunking about in the kitchen. She could hear voices coming from the other side of the house, outside. Nope. Not ready for that yet. 18 took off her jacket and let out a sigh. Eurgh. She still felt embarrassed. She hated that feeling.

"I suppose he is rather handsome when he isn't scowling"
"I know! And that damn porn film doesn't help… "
18 snorted into her drink.
It had been going rather well, to be honest. She was being sociable. With people she had tried to murder only half a year before. Because that made sense.
But it was strange to think how comfortable she felt amongst them. Yes, she had her brother there, but alcohol was a great leveller, and their wariness of her and hers of them faded as the night went on. Even Tien, down in her files as cautious and sensible, had spoken to her (though more to her brother. Another thing noted in the files). Bulma had shrieked and laughed and seemed more at home with her boys then 18 could ever see her in a board-room or head office of a mega-corporation. It had amused (or worried. She was still trying to tell the difference) her that she realised she was enjoying herself. But she was more than a little side-tracked when she realised that she was enjoying the company of one person in particular.
They had gone outside to talk. Both a little boozed up.
But things had gone a little tits up when he threw up on the ground in front of her and oh of course some of it had hit her.

As she went to find the toilets, 18 decided that Krillin would buy her a new t-shirt. As she snaked through the revellers towards the WC sign, her attention was briefly garnered by a petite young woman talking to Tien and Piccolo. Or talking at. All she could really see was the woman seemingly asking the (really very drunk) namek something and Tien pulling a face that meant he clearly expected to have to stop the ex-Demon King from tearing out the girl's heart and eating it in front of her.
"Eighteen?"
The blonde turned around on unsteady feet. As she focused, she could see a well-groomed bespeckled man holding a beer and waving manically at her. It was her Psychiatrist. Her incredibly attractive Psychiatrist.
In the end, she didn't go back to Krillin, who sat sobering up outside.

...

18 walked into the kitchen to find Maron making smoothies. A drop-dead gorgeous woman was in Krillin's kitchen.
She vaguely wondered if she was having a stroke.

"Hello, I'm Maron!"
She said nothing.
"You must be Eighteen! It's nice to meet you!"
My god her breasts were big.
"Krillin's told me all about you! Do you want a smoothie? I've made a lot…"
Like. Massive. Had she transferred from another anime? She looked famil-the red files bleeped into the outskirts of her vision.
Pyrite Maron. Human. Female. Receptionist. IQ level-err0r- Ties to Krillin.
The blue-haired girl in the photographs. The ex-girlfriend.
What was she doing here?
"You don't talk much do you?"
"Where did you come from?" 18 asked, rather coldly. Maron was oblivious.
"Oh I came back with Krillin and the others. I didn't see you last night"
"I had to wash puke off my top, then I had to ….um…. I went somewhere else."
"Oh okay. That's a shame. I think Krillin missed you."
18 turned to leave the kitchen, looking back over her shoulder to the attractive woman behind her. "Oh I'm sure Krillin didn't miss me at all."

Once out of the door, 18 found she was out of breath. She could feel a wave of ice wash over her.
Damn hangover. Damn inhibitor.
Dammit.

"18!"
Krillin stumbled back into the house and almost rushed towards her. He reminded her so much of a puppy greeting an owner back from work that she had to really fight the urge to kick him in his stupid little face.
He stopped short when he noticed how guarded she looked. The kitchen door clanged shut and he heard Marron's shrill voice announce that she'd made smoothies.
"Ah.. I see you've met Maron." He did that idiotic thing where he rubbed the back of his head with his hand. Urgh. Puppy-faced cretin.
"Mmhmm."
"Look, it's not like –"
"I don't care, Krillin. I really don't care." She scowled at him. The fact that she couldn't keep that blank mask annoyingly proving to herself that she did care. A little.
"She's not-"

"What's it like not having eyebrows. Do you ever wish you had them?" Came a sickly sweet voice from outside.
18 and Krillin both whipped their heads around the door.
"Krillin get out there before he kills and eats her."
"You'd be handsome if you didn't look so weird."
"Go now."
"Oh hell, MARON!"
With that the monk ran outside. 18 didn't follow him, but let out a small whinging sound and with her back to it, slid down the doorframe.

...

Throughout all of this, an oblivious Majon busied herself with trying to finish the refurbishment of her club, whilst simultaneously trying to explain to her brother that yes, he was going to be an uncle and no, she didn't need him to hunt down and eviscerate the father. But it was sweet to offer.

Oh my god Maron you cant just ask why someone is green.

Thank you so much guys who have stuck with me (and new people hellloooooo) it should be updating pretty smoothly from now on (although I have said that before please still love me). As per usual - any theories/comments/ reviews/ constructive criticism/ questions - throw them my way. I love them. So much.

Things will be starting to kick off next chapter. Mwahahaha.
Also, potential Vegeta.

Also, you have no idea how hard it was for me not to derailed on a crack!pairing this chapter.

Auf weidersien kids, if that is how you spell it. See you soon.