His head hurt as if someone was hitting his temple with a hammer.
The case had been difficult. Derek just felt like showering, taking a shot of whiskey, and sleeping until the next day.
-Aren't you coming to dinner?
He smiled at his younger friend but shook his head. Reid grabbed his backpack and began walking beside him.
- I'm not looking forward to it either but really, we deserve it- He swallowed hard and called the elevator, dodging his friend's gaze- Garcia called JJ. She's coming.
Derek just sighed. He didn't feel up to seeing Penelope.
His affair with her was getting out of hand. Every day it was getting harder and harder for his heart to understand the situation: she didn't love him. She just wanted to have fun.
Derek knew how dinners with his team ended.There was always someone who said they would go for a drink and dance.The last thing he needed for his mental stability was to see Penelope flirting with other men.
Since the last time they had seen each other, he has not called her again.He hadn't even written her a message.And that was more than two weeks ago.He knew that distance himself from her was necessary.
He can hardly sleep.
Morning passed quickly. He distracted himself at gym and at work. But his nights were filled with monsters. Especially a monster called jealousy.
Sleep wasn't coming and his brain was beginning to tease him. Derek kept thinking that maybe she would be enjoying herself in another bed with another man's hands.
He felt angry in his stomach. It was too painful.
Maybe it was karma.He has always been like that with women. He was like that even with his own wife. Maybe it was time to pay his debt.
But that didn't make his pain subsided. Pain of thinking of her in someone else's arms. Pain because she hadn't looked for him in two weeks.
Penelope could survive without seeing him. But he was dying a little more each day with her absence.
Part of her still didn't understand what the hell she was doing there.
He had not shown any sign of life for two weeks. Just since the day Jean asked him to pick him up at the airport.
Penelope snorted. The man couldn't be that jealous.
She had put up with all his nonsense and one-night stands. And she never said a single thing about it. Because the two of them were nothing, just best friends.
And there came a day when he decided to settle down. Derek decided to get married and even have a child. But not with her.
That still continued to hurt his heart. Fifteen years of love had not been enough for him.It hurt like hell but Penelope was grateful.It was because of that she had become the woman she was today.
A strong, sexy and self-confident woman. A woman who no longer cried for love because she didn't need it. A woman who rose majestically from the ashes. And all thanks to Derek Morgan's lovelessness.
She knew better than anyone that Derek wasn't going to dinner. His pride was as big as his biceps.
He wasn't going to admit it but he was insanely jealous. Derek couldn't stand it when a woman denied him anything. He wasn't used to that.
But Penelope Garcia wasn't like other women.
She grabbed the bags from the passenger seat and headed for his front door. She prayed to all Olympus Gods as she rang the doorbell.
After all, approaching his house was approaching the door of the unknown. She didn't know what she would find on the other side.
Apparently, on the other end was Derek, the stubborn one. She rolled her eyes upward and rang the doorbell again.
No result.
Penelope decided to leave the bags on the floor and began pounding on the door.
-Derek, I know you're in there. Open up right now. Please, it's urgent.
Ten seconds later the door opened. She smiled at him. Derek stood in front of her, wet and with only a white towel around his waist.
-I was taking a shower, calm down.
Derek stepped back from the door for her to pass. Penelope came in like a whirlwind.
-If you don't come to dinner, then dinner will come to you.- Penelope started pulling trays of food out of the bags and placed them on the kitchen table -Kai Tod, Satay, coconut rice and pork curry for you. Pad Thai and sushi for me.
He stared at her, his heart beating fast against his chest. Derek swallowed.
-Pen, I appreciate that. But I don't think I'm good company tonight.
She looked him up and down with her big brown eyes and raised eyebrows. A look of surprise adorned her face.
-Really, Derek? Get dressed. I'll wait for you here. Food is still warm.
He went to get dressed and returned in two minutes wearing only gray sweatpants. She had already placed the food on plates, lit two scented candles and filled two glasses with wine.
Penelope had taken off her heels and pulled her hair up in a bun using two chopsticks. She looked beautiful. But she looked exhausted and even so, she had put her initial plan aside to have dinner with him.
He put his bad mood aside and decided to sit at the table with her. Everything smelled really good.
-Thank you, baby girl. But it wasn't necessary.
She smiled sideways, placing her hands under the table.
-Of course it's necessary. Because the best is saved for last.
Derek stopped chewing the piece of chicken he was holding in his hand.
Then she quickly pulled her hands out from under the table.
-¡S'mores!- she shouted placing a small tray on the table.
Derek swallowed the piece of chicken and shook his head. Then he started laughing.
Penelope looked at him smiling. How could she not fall in love with this man if he was perfect.
She raised her hand and caressed his cheek. Derek stopped smiling and began to frown. Penelope's gesture surprised him and his face reflected his thoughts.
-I love your smile. It gives me life.
He felt it hard to breathe. Derek closed his eyes and kissed the palm of her hand.
-Forgive me. I should have called you these days.
She shook her head, downplaying the matter.But Derek knew she was hurt.In the end, she had to take the plunge.He kept eating but his head was spinning.
Maybe one day she wouldn't need his friendship. Maybe there would come a day when she wouldn't take that first step. Maybe he would lose Penelope. Again.
-What are you thinking about, baby?
He looked at her and just smiled.
I was thinking about the day you get tired of fighting all my bullshit- he noticed how his voice cracked and felt a hint of embarrassment. But he swallowed saliva and kept his talking. -I really don't know if I'm worth it to you.
Penelope opened her eyes wide and wanted to say something. But she knew when Derek started to vent, it was best to let him talk.
-I wasn't lying when told you I wasn't going to be a good company today. I feel like shit. I've ignored you for two fucking weeks. I was late to save that kid.
That sicko managed to hurt that little boy. I'm not even capable of being a good father to Hank. I wasn't a good husband .
She rose from her chair. She knew perfectly well what was coming now. Penelope walked over to him and tugged on his hand to get him to stand up.
-Listen to me, pretty face- she said as she wrapped her arms around his neck -You're the best dad Hank could ever have.
You're the best friend I've ever had.
And you're the best agent there is and ever will be in this fucking world.
And yes, that bastard hurt that poor kid.But you saved his life.Don't forget that.
He closed his eyes and sighed. He shook his head, turning away from her. Derek immediately felt the cold entering his body.
God, how he loved that woman. Only Hank rivaled her in his heart. But he was looking for one thing and she... She wasn't even looking for anything.
-Penelope, thank you for everything. But really, I think you should go.
She frowned. Derek could tell she was no longer happy. Her jaw was clenched and he could almost see her heartbeat in her throat.
-You know what I think, Derek? you're right- She slipped on her shoes in less than a second and headed for the door -You don't deserve me.
-Do you want me to take you home?
Penelope laughed throwing her head back. She was angry but she knew how to release that anger.
-Who told you I'm going home, sweetheart? she raised her right eyebrow and smiled cockily, -I always have a plan B.
Derek gritted his teeth as he watched her walk away.
His heart was screaming at him "Just call her. She wants to be with you."
But his brain was telling him "Let her go.You don't deserve her."
His soul knew he was in for a long sleepless night.