As always, a huge thank you to Ambush99 for her wonderful betaing skills and continued support. Thanks million!

Chapter 13

James Potter kicked the wall with frustration. "I swear if that old goat mentions that bloody grim and how it's the death omen one more time, I'll-"

"Do what, Prongs?" Remus challenged.

"I don't know," James replied angrily.

"You used to laugh about it. Don't tell me you're taking Professor Wilson's classes seriously now," Remus replied with a slight smile.

"It's different now!" James snapped. "Because she said someone close to me would die. And, and the bloody grim looks like him!"

"Like who?" Remus pressed, already knowing the answer.

"Padfoot!"

"Yes, but we always used to laugh about it. It's Divination, come on Prongs, grims don't exist."

"I note you didn't correct me about Padfoot dying. Because I know, you know, he knows and the healers know, he's dying and they are doing fuck all about it. Why aren't the healers and teachers helping him?! It's like they are happy to let him die! He escaped hell. He's fighting like hell, but they are doing nothing!"

"James, he'll be alright."

"Do you know that, Moony? Do you really believe that? You've seen him. You've seen how much just getting through a class takes out of him. We need to do more than we are doing!"

"What can we do, James? If they do anything else they need to involve his parents and he's never going to agree to that."

"No," James said shaking his head. "I won't let him agree to that. So what you're basically saying is, he's stuck between a rock and a hard place. Whatever he decides will result in him dying, he's just choosing how. How is that right, Moony? It's bloody wrong and unfair!"

Lily slowly approached the two brooding figures, only managing to catch certain words such as 'dying' and 'unfair'. She didn't much care for Black but she didn't hate the boy. She didn't want to see him suffer, and she knew Potter was the person best placed to help him. "Potter," she said quietly.

James swung around to come face to face with the girl of his dreams. "Oh, hi Evans," he said nervously.

"What's wrong with Black?"

"Sirius? He's fine."

"Really?" Lily replied with a raised eyebrow. "That's why he looked like death warmed up and was sent out of our Ancient Runes class."

"What?" James exclaimed.

"You heard me Potter. What's wrong with Black?"

"When did he leave the class?" James demanded.

"I don't know. About twenty minutes ago."

"Shit," James swore, as he started towards the Ancient Runes classroom.

"James," Remus called out. "Lily would have seen him on her way here. Let's check the dorm."

James didn't say a word, he just pushed past them and sprinted towards the dorms, not caring if the other two were following. All he cared about was his best friend, his brother. He should have never left him alone. He should have somehow made it into Sirius' Ancient Runes class or dragged him to his Divination class, or just forced him to stay in the dorm and rest. But no, he hadn't. He had gone and abandoned his brother again.

Lily struggled to keep up with the boys' longer strides. Black had looked ill, but she was beginning to think she was just scratching the surface. She just made it around the corner to see Potter dive through the barely opened portrait hole. "Remus," she called out breathlessly, but she got no response. What the hell was wrong with Black? She had never seen Potter move with such urgency. If the boys were this worried about him, why wasn't he in the hospital wing, or St. Mungo's?

"It's his," James declared, holding up a red and gold book bag.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, it's my old one. I gave it to him after he got back. After they left him with fucking nothing!" James spat.

"He took it with him when he left Ancient Runes," Lily said, slightly out of breath, as she joined the conversation for the first time, wondering what James meant by 'got back' and 'they left him with nothing'.

"That's good, James, it means he got back here. If someone attacked him they wouldn't take the time to drop his book bag off, would they?"

James slowly nodded, as he considered the information, before he slung the bag over his shoulder and raced towards the staircase. He just hoped against hope Sirius had made it to the dorm, and the dropped bag wasn't some sick move by a family member. He hoped they hadn't got to him, because he knew Sirius wouldn't be able to defend himself. He knew Sirius wouldn't last long. As he rounded the final corner he sighed with relief. Sirius was slumped on his bed, as though he had just made it before passing out, his legs hanging haphazardly off the end. "Sirius," he said quietly, crouching down next to the other boy. He waited a moment before he gently laid a hand on his friend's shoulder. "Sirius."

Lily staggered into the boy's dorm, trying to pull in lungfuls of air as she did. An arm flung out, stopping her from going any further. "Remus?"

"Wait Lily, they need their space."

"What?" Lily questioned. She looked up and watched the scene in front of her unfold. The James Potter she knew was wild and brash, but the one in front of her was a different person. She watched as he carefully lifted Sirius' legs onto the bed before pulling the blankets over him and crouching down next to him. Sirius looked far paler than he had in class, he barely seemed to be breathing. "I'm going to get Madam Pomfrey," she declared.

"No," Remus said in a whisper, as he grabbed her arm gently but firmly. "Give James a moment."

"He's not a healer, Remus!" Lily bit back.

"I know, but Sirius has looked worse. Lily, look it's complicated, okay."

"What's wrong with him?"

"They don't know."

"What?! Then surely he should be in St Mungo's or something!"

"He can't, it wouldn't be safe for him there."

"He wouldn't be safe!" Lily baulked. "But he's clearly too ill to be going to classes. He needs to be in the hospital wing."

"It's complicated, okay. Sirius wants to try and get on with his life whilst he still can."

"What are you saying?" Lily exclaimed. She watched Remus' still, pale face, and felt bile rise in her throat. "He's dying?"

"Lily, I've already said too much."

"How?"

"I, I shouldn't have told you what I've said-"

"No, how is he dying?"

"I, I don't know. No one does."

"This has something to do with why he was late back for the beginning of term and why he disappeared for a week, doesn't it?"

"Lily, I can't say. It's not my place. If Sirius wants to tell you, that's fine, but I won't."

Lily looked across the room, at James who was now sitting on Sirius' bed with his arms wrapped protectively around him. He seemed to be whispering to the other boy. She watched as he looked up and nodded before returning his attention to his friend.

"Hey Padfoot, you've had a bit of a rough day, haven't you," Remus said to the unresponsive figure. "How is he?"

"He says he's just tired but, well you know Padfoot," James said quietly.

"I really think we should get Madam Pomfrey," Lily started.

"No," James said, shaking his head. "Sirius doesn't want to."

"I think this has gone past what Sirius wants," Lily started.

"No Evans, it has everything to do with what Sirius wants," James bit back sharply. "He hasn't had a lot of choice recently and I'm not about to join the long list of people who forced their decisions on him!"

"James…"

"No Moony, how many people have helped him? How many people care what he wants? I know, and I don't need a full hand to count them!" James growled.

"I just think, well we have Transfiguration in five minutes," Lily said trailing off.

"I'm not going," James declared.

"But, Potter, McGonagall will give you detention and you'll miss Quidditch," Lily said.

"I don't care. Evans, there are things in life that are far more important than OWLs, detentions and Quidditch. This is my brother you're talking about! I can't leave him, well, just in case, I just can't leave him," James said quietly, his eyes brimming with tears, as he rested his head on Sirius'.

"James?"

"Moony can you explain to McGonagall why I'm not there. I know she will give me a detention, but can you try and make sure it's on an evening when you don't have prefect duties and Pete doesn't have extra Potions."

"Sure," Remus said quietly. "Shall I take your mirror?"

"Yeah, we've got Sirius'," James said nodding.

"Call if you need anything," Remus said as he stood to leave. He patted Sirius' shoulder. "See you later, mate. Let me know if you need anything. Come on Lily, let's go. We have Transfiguration."

Lilly frowned as she reluctantly followed Remus out of the room, her mind full of questions. "Remus, I don't think this is a good idea. I don't think Potter knows what is best for Black."

"Maybe not, but find me an adult who has a better idea and then we can talk," Remus replied in a tight voice as they made their way through the common room.

"I'm not saying his heart isn't in the right place, I'm just saying…"

"What Lily, what are you saying?"

"I don't know," Lily started.

"If Sirius dies, and that's a real possibility, he doesn't want his final days to be spent cooped up in that hospital wing, a place he hates. After what he has been through, he deserves to be surrounded by people who love him," Remus managed in an increasingly tight voice, as tears threatened at any moment. "I know you don't think much of him. And know he's a bit of a dick when it comes to your friend Severus, but he's one of the best friends I've ever had."

"Remus," Lily started. "Look I know, umm, is that because, I-" She stopped. It wasn't the right time, but when was?

"What Lily?" Remus replied, his piercing green eyes boring into her.

"It's just well, I, Serverus said Black tried to kill him."

Remus shook his head. "Sirius made a stupid mistake but Serverus already had most of the facts. If Sirius told Serverus to jump off the astronomy tower, would he?" he challenged, not caring if his tone was harsh anymore.

"No, of course he wouldn't."

"There you are. Serverus is friends with cruel, evil people. Sirius has distanced himself from his family because they share the same values as Snape's friends. James and Sirius may not be perfect, but don't pretend for one second Snape is, because he's not!" Remus spat. He took a moment and turned away. He rubbed his face. "Lily, I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me."

"No you're right. Sev was the one who introduced me to magic. He was the one who told me I was a witch. Life was innocent then but now-"

"People are choosing sides," Remus finished. "At some point Lily, you've got to choose. I've chosen, James has, I'm pretty sure Serverus has and Sirius, well he's paying the price for choosing."

"Life is-"

"Life is crap and unfair sometimes, that's why you need your friends."

Lily nodded. "Shall we go to Transfiguration?" she said, not knowing what else to say. She watched as Remus approached Professor McGonagall to have a few words before turning and coming to sit next to her. "What did she say?"

"Nothing much, just to take notes for Sirius and James," Remus replied.

Lily looked up at Professor McGonagall, surprised to see her showing a rare sign of emotion. "Maybe you should tell Professor McGonagall."

"She already knows," Remus replied quietly. "Look Lily, I'm really sorry but I can't deal with this right now." Without a further word, he buried himself into his work.

Ooo

"Simon, I need to have a word," Professor McGonagall called out as she strode down the corridor.

"Yes Minerva," Professor Collins replied, as he stopped and turned to face his fellow Gryffindor and colleague.

"I need to talk to you about Mr Black."

"Which one? Regulus is smart but he doesn't have half the talent his older brother has."

"I need to speak to you about Sirius. I have been informed you gave him a detention this afternoon."

"Yes I did. You know what he's like. The boy is a genius, he's probably the best student I have ever taught, but he gets bored and messes around. I know it's partly my fault but it's difficult to set a class satisfying all abilities when you have someone like Sirius, then others of lesser ability who I am surprised know which way to hold a wand."

"I know he messes around, both him and Potter drive me up the wall, but it's not his fault this time. He's trying his hardest, but that's all he's got to give."

"Minerva?"

"He's been poisoned," McGonagall managed in a tight voice.

"What?! Then why is he here? Why isn't he in St Mungo's being treated?!" Professor Collins exclaimed.

"They haven't been able to identify the poison," McGonagall started.

"You still haven't answered my question. Why is he here instead of St Mungo's, unless, unless not only do you not know what poisoned the lad, but you don't know the perpetrator?!" Professor Collins replied tensely. He watched his colleague and friend nod. "And might it not be pertinent to inform the staff?! I'm not the only one who's given the boy a detention, and for something I now know wasn't remotely his fault!"

"Mr Black has the right to privacy."

"Of course he does and the teaching body don't need to know the full details, just that he's ill and will probably struggle in classes. Then we can make allowances for him."

"Dumbledore-"

"Sod Dumbledore. Minerva, this is a sixteen year old boy's life we are talking about and Dumbledore doesn't always know what is best. That's why he's been falling asleep in class and his grades have been slipping. How far does he have to go to prove he's not like his family? What does he have to do to prove the sorting hat was correct!?"

"Simon…"

"No, it's not right. Yes, he's a troublemaker but he's not a bad lad. He probably just wants to get on with his life like any other sixteen year old kid, but someone wants to curtail that, and we are only assisting them," Professor Collins snapped. "Do you honestly have no idea who poisoned him?"

"No," McGonagall said shaking her head. "We have an idea who hurt him, but that's confidential."

"He's hurt as well?! He can't catch a break, can he? Someone really wants him dead, don't they?!"

"So, you think I should go against Dumbledore's word and brief the staff?"

"Yes, I gave that poor lad hell in one of my lessons and a detention, for something he couldn't help," Professor Collins replied as he turned and started towards his office. He stopped, and rubbed his beard for a moment. "Look Minerva, I'm sorry for snapping at you but Hogwarts should be a safe place and it doesn't seem like we've made it safe for him."

"I know."

"It's nothing personal Minerva, and I know you are new to the position. I know it's easier for me to simply say stand up to Dumbledore, but for Sirius' sake you need to. If you don't, who will?"

McGonagall nodded. She had taken over the deputy head position a few months previously. "I'll see you at supper."

Ooo

"Sirius, are you sure you're okay with this? We could just steal some food from the kitchens if you want," James asked, for what seemed like the hundredth time, as they made their way slowly towards the hall. It was slightly later than usual, so he hoped it would be less crowded.

"I'm fine Prongs, I promise."

James nodded, his jaw tight. "Who sent you the letter?" he asked eyeing the scrap of parchment in his friend's hand.

"My brother," Sirius replied quietly, handing it over.

James took a moment to read it, frowning as he did.

Sirius,

I hope you feel better soon.

Love Reggie.

"But I thought, well on the train," James started.

"He didn't know."

"He was in the same bloody house as you!"

"Sure, but he wasn't in the pub," Sirius bit back.

James somehow resisted the urge to sigh, as his friend tried to spin his bullshit story again. He ran a tired hand through his dishevelled hair. "Mate, on the train he was, well, so dismissive of your 'death', I just. Shit, I don't know."

"Prongs, it's not his fault. My family, well it's complicated," Sirius replied tiredly.

"Complicated?! Yeah, that's a word for it," James started.

"Mate, can we not talk about it? I just, I just want to try and pretend things are normal again."

'Normal', James thought. Things were far from normal, but if that's what his friend wanted. If that's what was getting his friend through the day, then it would be a cruel person who denied him that small pleasure, and he wasn't going to be that person. "Sure mate, so who do you think is going to be the winner out of Hufflepuff and Slytherin?"

"Slytherin," Sirius replied simply.

"Damn," James swore. "That's what I thought. I was hoping you were going to say Hufflepuff. But no worries, as soon as you're fit again, we're unstoppable."

"James, I can't.."

"Not now, but Muggles break bones the whole time and they carry on playing sports. You and Derbyshire are the best beater team the school's got."

"James, I won't-"

"No, I won't accept it. We'll find a cure. You will be fine!"

"Prongs, please, I really just want to pretend nothing happened, even if it's just for an hour," Sirius said desperately

"Okay, that's cool. Let's, let's get some food. Moony and Pete are meeting us there. You and I both have detentions, so it's kinda normal," James said with a forced smile.

"Yeah, normal," Sirius replied quietly, adding a smile for good measure, as he wandered down towards the hall, settling down next to one of his other friends. "Hey Moony."

"Hey Padfoot," Remus greeted.

"How was your day?"

"Boring, but you know, double Divination, so always a barrel of laughs."

"I did try and warn you guys," Sirius replied, spooning some mashed potato onto his plate.

"Yeah, you did and yeah, you were right but we've only got a few months before we can give it up," Remus replied, worry laced in his voice as he observed his friend's meager portion. "Pork chops?"

"That would be great, cheers."

Remus took a couple onto his plate and stripped them off the bone before dropping them onto Sirius' plate. "What else?"

"Moony, you didn't-"

"You guys do it for me after a bad moon, I'm just returning the favour. Now what else?"

"Gravy."

"Well obviously, you're not a savage."

Sirius bit back a laugh and a grin. Just for a second he thought everything was normal again, that everything over Christmas hadn't happened, before dark feelings and memories returned. "Thanks Moony."

"Hi guys," Pete panted, as he arrived red faced and out of breath. "Oh, hi Padfoot!"

"Hi Pete, how was…" Sirius trailed off, as he struggled to remember the other boy's timetable. "Sorry, I can't remember."

"Oh Merlin don't worry, Padfoot, I can barely remember my own timetable. Extra Potions," Pete cut in. "Terrible, I melted another cauldron. I added the crushed beetles too early, but I got it on the second try."

"Nice one, well done, Wormy."

"Thanks," Pete replied, as he grabbed his plate and began to pile food on it. "Oh, old Sluggy has asked me again if you two would join his Slug Club," he finished.

James sighed dramatically. "But it would be sooo boring."

"Isn't Evans a member?" Sirius said through a mouthful of mashed potato.

"Yes, yes she is," James confirmed in a tight voice as he remembered their last conversation.

"Well, maybe join. You might be able to impress her," Sirius replied, missing his friend's tension. "Or you could fail miserably."

"Thanks for the vote of confidence. Oh post," James said, as he watched a flock of owls descend into the hall, feeling relieved for the excuse to change topic.

Sirius eyed a familiar looking owl amongst the group of owls. For some reason he knew to refer to them as a 'parliament', why he did not know, but it had to be something to do with his family's 'education'. The owl dropped an expensive looking parchment in front of him, before quickly taking flight again. He stared at the parchment for a moment, at the elegant, green penmanship. The envelope didn't have the Black family crest, and in any case the writing did not belong to his mother or father, yet it was oddly familiar. Sighing, he slowly reached forward, only to have his hand dramatically knocked away. "What?" he heard himself say distantly.

Remus watched as the owl struggled to take flight after it dropped the letter in front of his friend. It almost seemed as though the owl was drunk or something, he thought as he tracked its unsteady flight across the hall. The owl suddenly became still, and plummeted to the ground. He flicked his eyes between the letter and the space where the owl once was. Barely thinking, he grabbed the bowl of peas, emptying them on the floor before knocking Sirius' hand out the way and covering the letter. "Get him out of here," he hissed at James.

"What?" James started, as he looked between the upturned bowl and Moony.

"The owl's dead!"

James didn't need another warning, whatever killed the owl was probably laced into the letter intended for his friend. Jumping up, he grabbed Sirius under the shoulders and pulled him up, away from the table. "We need to go."

"Prongs?"

"I'll explain everything later I promise, but we need to get you out of here," James said as gently as he could. He exchanged looks with Remus.

"Pete, get a teacher, preferably Slughorn," Remus said quickly, his eyes never leaving the bowl.

"Sure," Pete replied, as he sprinted towards the teachers' table, his food long since forgotten.

James quietly led Sirius off to one side, away from the hall. "Sirius, are you okay?"

"Umm, I, yeah I'm fine," Sirius replied hesitantly.

"Padfoot," James said quietly, his hand not leaving his friend's shoulder. "Mate, this has gone too far. I know you're scared, I am too, but you can't carry on like this."

"Like what?" Sirius said, making a weak attempt to challenge James.

"I know you weren't beaten up in a pub, you told me what happened."

"I, I didn't know what I was saying. I was probably hallucinating or something."

"Sirius, you know that owl was meant for you. I don't want you to die but what if Remus or Pete had picked it up? What if a firstie had picked it up?" James watched as Sirius looked away. "Come on, we'll go to Dumbledore together."

Sirius shook his head. "No, he won't believe me. He'll think I'm a stupid sixteen year old looking to cause trouble."

"He won't Pads, he'll believe you."

"You don't understand Prongs. You don't understand what they're like. You don't understand how much power they have. I'm just a stupid sixteen year old, looking to get out of more trouble."

"Padfoot," James replied in a tight voice, as he pulled his friend into a hug. "I believe you."

"But that's not going to be enough is it? They'll say we are two kids seeking attention. They'll never believe us," Sirius said desperately, as he stumbled to one side and slumped against the wall.

"Padfoot, no they won't. They'll believe us," James started, as he wrapped an arm around his friend's thin, shaking shoulders.

"No they won't. I'm not talking to one of the teachers. They hate me. They think I'm an evil, lying, waste of space," Sirius muttered as he stared at his feet.

"No they don't," James said gently. "Why do you think that?"

"Because, because, well-"

"Dad, we'll talk to my dad."

"Prongs?"

"He's a lawyer," James started.

"I know what your dad does James. He's not just a lawyer, he's a named Partner at Abbott, Macmillan and Potter. They are the most influential and expensive law firm in the wizarding community. I can't afford that. I don't have a Knut to my name," Sirius exclaimed, as he raked a hand through his lank, dishevelled hair. "And why would they take a case as stupid and as small as mine?!"

"Padfoot, they used unforgivable curses on you. They tried to bloody kill you! Yeah, I think it's a big enough bloody case! When I asked dad about healers not telling anyone what their patients said, dad said the same applied to lawyers and their clients."

"James, it doesn't matter, I can't afford it. Your dad probably charges 100 galleons per hour!"

"Then I'll get a paper-round!" James exclaimed. "Sirius, you can't go back there. They'll kill you!"

"Ten galleons," Sirius mumbled to himself.

"What mate?" James asked softly.

"Nothing," Sirius said quickly, as he looked away.

"Okay," James said slowly, his arm still wrapped tightly around his friend's shoulders. "Let's ask McGonagall if we can use her fireplace to floo call my dad. He'll help Padfoot, I promise you, he'll help."

Sirius nodded, not having the energy to do anything else. He allowed himself to be led away from the great hall and towards their Head of House's office. He vaguely wondered what Remus and Pete were doing with the supposedly poisoned letter. He wondered what it had been poisoned with and who had sent it. As he slowly made his way down the corridors, he heard James' reassuring voice. He leant towards his friend and nodded, more to reassure James than himself.