I keep forgetting to mention that the title of Ch. 1 is taken from the Alice Cooper song of the same title, and Ch. 2's title is taken from the Bob Dylan song of the same title. This chapter's title is also taken from a Bob Dylan song title.

Also, this chapter follows the Bell Test episodes very closely because I find them very fundamental in the dynamics, characters, and philosophies of Team 7, and to the rest of my story as a whole.

CHAPTER III: RING THEM BELLS

Fuck, Kakashi did not want to be here. His gut was in knots and had kept him up all night with heartburn. He couldn't do this anymore. As soon as this team failed, he was going to tell Sandaime-sama that he was out of the sensei-pool. The thought of being responsible for three lives was too much–had always been too much, but these three lives, in particular.

He'd found out last night that Sandaime-sama assigned these three particularly to Kakashi. Or, at least, had assigned the Uzumaki and the Uchiha. Kakashi didn't know what the Sandaime was playing at, but he wasn't happy about having reminders of two of his greatest failures as a ninja shoved in his face.

As for the ditzy pinkette, Iruka said he chose her on his own to complement not just the two boys, but Kakashi, too. Kakashi had managed to be apathetically polite about it but had nearly throttled Iruka. Haruno Sakura was surely another tragic death waiting to happen. Another death to burden Kakashi's conscience, another death to weigh him down each morning. Outliving his own teammates and others of his generation was bad enough, but what kind of sensei outlived his students?

It happened, yes, but rarely.

Kakashi knew, though, that he was a lightning rod for tragedy, and as he watched the three genin scatter to their hiding places after he told them to begin, he could feel it in the way his gut churned that lightning was going to strike sooner rather than later.

Sakura's stomach fluttered with anxious butterflies as she settled into her hiding place behind the branches of several bushes. She always got this feeling before training, before a spar, before a written test, even just upon waking up in the morning, and it never went away until she started in on her task in earnest. Even in that alley, her nerves had gotten the best of her and she had attacked the blond teen because he was taking too long to attack her. And despite her aversion as she watched Naruto confront Kakashi-sensei head-on, Sakura knew that given a few more minutes, she would be out there, too.

And she didn't know if he was the one she wanted to help.

Ugh, Inner groaned. You know my vote is for Naruto but why choose? Help them both.

That doesn't seem very smart–splitting my attention between them means neither gets my full support.

Or, they both get your full support when they're the one in range and you double your odds of getting one of those bells.

Sakura was about to reply with something about loyalty when Kakashi called Naruto a class clown and said he wouldn't be worth worrying about.

Who the hell does he think he is?! Sakura raged when she saw the stunned look on her new friend's face. It only lasted a second, quickly replaced by his trademark determination, but it was long enough for Sakura.

She realized that she and Naruto were in the same boat, had pretty much always been in the same boat: constantly underestimated and insulted, shoved to the side as lesser shinobi, especially in relation to Sasuke. Iruka-sensei had even told her that he had suggested her for Team 7 because she needed to learn that some things didn't have a different angle or a clever solution, but just needed to be muscled through, and that Sasuke was the perfect person to learn from.

Right now, she was so affronted on Naruto's behalf that she almost left her hiding spot to join him, but that wouldn't have done anyone any good. Instead, she watched Kakashi attentively, looking for even the smallest of twitches. One of the by-products of studying chakra from books on bodywork was that Sakura had become quite familiar with the human body and how its reflexive movements were connected to the energy meridians, which each governed particular instincts, sensations, and emotions.

Kakashi, however, was infuriatingly calm and still, though his posture was so horrendous that she was actually concerned for his health. Surely, he didn't always stand like that, did he? If he did, it had to have created blocks in his chakra, as well as his physical body. From her studies over the last several years, she would bet money on it. Though, from the stories that abounded about the Copy-Nin, it didn't seem to affect his results at all.

Or he was just so talented that his hindered performance was still that much better than anyone else's unhindered performance.

Hmph, Inner scoffed, maybe some people would be impressed by that, but it just means he's wasting his potential.

The Great Hatake Kakashi wouldn't purposefully hinder himself, would he?

Maybe he had an injury.

Sakura snapped back to the present as Naruto charged at Kakashi head-on.

Oh, Naruto, no!

Kakashi reached into his hip pouch and...

Pulled out a book.

Huh?

Not just any book, either: it was one of the books her parents hid in their closet.

Eww!

"What are you waiting for? Make your move." Kakashi goaded.

"Why are you reading that book?" Naruto demanded.

"Why? To find out what happens in the story, of course. Don't let it bother you: with your weak attacks, it doesn't really matter if I'm reading or...whatever."

What a dick, Inner said.

Sakura blushed at thinking something so rude about her sensei, opting to forget it happened rather than wonder if Inner was right.

"I'm going to crush you!" Naruto charged again.

Punch!

Blocked.

Kick!

Blocked.

Another punch!

Holy smokes, that was fast!

Sakura's brain took a moment to process what she had just seen, or, more precisely, hadn't seen: somehow, Kakashi had ended up behind Naruto, but he hadn't used a transportation jutsu, which meant that he was just that fast. That kind of speed–the kind that eyes couldn't follow–could only be accomplished through chakra.

Sakura had spent the last five years honing her chakra skills so that she could jump ridiculous lengths, and walk up trees and across water, but had failed miserably at using it for speed. She had ended up with a broken cheek on her first attempt, and a broken arm on her most recent, both from a tree.

She couldn't wait to ask Kakashi-sensei to teach her how to move like that.

"Don't let your enemy get behind you all the time." Kakashi admonished Naruto.

Sign of the Tiger! He's going to destroy Naruto!

Sakura's hand moved before her brain even finished making a choice about what to do, flinging two shuriken at Kakashi.

He caught them, of course, letting them spin around his fingers like they were no more dangerous than a couple of pinwheels, but it gave Naruto enough time to go on the defensive.

Sakura rolled out from under her hiding place before Kakashi could fling the shuriken back at her. She found a tree to hide in just in time to watch Naruto go flying through the air and into the river after receiving a foot to his chest.

Good grief.

And shouldn't that be against the rules? A genin was never going to have the strength of a jōnin!

Kakashi was reading his book again, and Sakura stared at him, watching for anything useful that she could use. The baggy standard jōnin uniform didn't make it any easier to read his minute movements. She could barely even see his chest rise and fall with his breaths. How was she supposed to read him like this? Not to mention that stupid mask covering half his face, and his hitai-ate covering another quarter of it.

He obviously has something to hide–something that he can't control–so he has to cover it up. Inner was practically salivating at the discovery.

Sakura smirked triumphantly, though she had no idea what that 'something' was or how to find out.

"What are you doing now?" Kakashi sounded exasperated. "You look kinda wobbly for someone who's going to surpass the Hokage."

"I haven't eaten for hours! How can I fight when I'm starving to death?!" Naruto complained as he pulled himself out of the river.

Sakura's stomach growled and to her right, so did Sasuke's. She snapped her head around to find him near the trunk of the tree and a few branches below her, blushing slightly. Sakura almost giggled, but she didn't want to give away their position if their grumbling stomachs hadn't already.

"Hours, hm? You didn't heed my advice about skipping breakfast, then?"

"No, yeah, we did! But then you were two hours late and Sakura gave us breakfast sausage so we wouldn't pass out!"

"She did, did she?"

Oh, how Sakura's stomach sank at her sensei's tone, the dark, sinking feeling from this morning returning to her chest.

"So, you caught me off-guard! That's all it was, believe it! I'm gonna pass this test, and I'm not going back to the Academy!"

Six Naruto-clones sprang from the river, flying straight for Kakashi.

"No way." Sakura whispered. "Seven Naruto?!"

"I will become a ninja!" Naruto joined his clones.

They weren't images, either; they were freakin' real!

Pride welled up in Sakura as she remembered how difficult making a clone had been for him. Naruto may have been a troublemaker, and not the sharpest shuriken in the pouch, but no one could ever accuse him of wasting his potential.

"Great technique, but I don't think you can hold out for very long. You talk like you're the best, Naruto, but you're still the worst student." Kakashi ridiculed. "You can't beat me with this jutsu."

He could say whatever he wanted, but he had put down that stupid book.

Sakura watched Kakashi carefully–his book may have been put away, but nothing else had changed. Same terrible posture, same impossible-to-read stance. She wished she weren't on his blind side so that she could see his eye. No matter how much training someone went through, it was impossible to completely prevent your eyes from giving you away. Sakura had no doubt that Kakashi's eye gave very little away, but she could work with 'a little.'

The bells on Kakashi's hip rang out as Naruto latched onto him from behind.

Eight Naruto! Amazing!

"Didn't you say not to let your enemy get behind you? Good advice, Sensei."

Sakura didn't see it happen this time, either. One moment, Kakashi was being held by seven Naruto while the eighth flew at him with his fist extended–and the next, there were nine Naruto. Sakura didn't know if Kakashi had done a simple transformation jutsu and was still being held by all those Naruto, or if he had done a replacement jutsu, as well, and was now one of the seven doing the holding.

And Sakura wasn't the only one having trouble figuring out which Naruto was the imposter, either.

The ensuing chaotic melee between all the Naruto was entertaining but embarrassing. A few hours ago, Sakura would have taken this is a sign that she could not, in good conscience, choose to help Naruto get that second bell since he wasn't even savvy enough to disperse his clones to smoke out Kakashi. Now, though, she couldn't help but feel responsible to teach him some strategy once this was over, whether or not he remained on Team 7.

Sakura kept as close an eye on all of the Naruto as she could, and it only took her a few moments to find Kakashi, his slouch as pronounced as ever, on the outside of the fray of clones.

Sakura threw eight shuriken, crossing her fingers that the original Naruto would either catch or avoid the weapon, and then dropped down to Sasuke's branch, ignoring the surprised, irritated look he gave her. To Sakura's relief, all eight of the real Naruto caught the shuriken aimed at them, and to her even greater relief, it only took them a second to realize that one of them had been left out.

"That one's Kakashi-sensei," she whispered to Sasuke, keeping her eyes on him below. "If we can just–"

There was a loud POOF! and then all the Naruto were gone except one, and he was turning black and blue from the fight.

"Dammit." Sakura hissed. "He disappeared."

"Aha!" Naruto lunged toward a tree and the fallen bells amongst its roots.

"Oh, no." Sakura covered her eyes in embarrassment.

"Idiot."

"HEY!" Naruto shouted, now hanging upside down, the bell just out of reach. "WHAT'S THE BIG IDEA?!"

"A ninja must see through deception." Kakashi ambled out from behind the tree, nose in his book. "If something looks too good to be true, it probably is."

In the blink of an eye, several shuriken cut through Kakashi.

"SASUKE! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?"

Sakura didn't have time to look at her comrade before Kakashi turned into a log.

[Sharks and Minnows]

Bruised and bleeding from a botched attempt to help Sasuke, Sakura wandered alone through the forest of the training ground, trying to plot her next move. She could both hear and feel Naruto raging from his spot in Kakashi's trap, his chakra making itself known even this far away. Helping him was probably the best course of action, as at least even a failed attempt would be appreciated, unlike with Sasuke.

Yeah, she deserved some frost for forgetting to account for his weight when she channeled chakra to her feet and leapt out of the tree with him. In her defense, she was just trying to get them out of there as fast as possible before Kakashi could follow the trajectory of Sasuke's shuriken back to them. And she deserved his irritation for freezing up and making him come up with a solution to save them both from crashing into the ground and breaking several bones.

But she did not deserve to be called foolish and have him disappear on her, leaving her alone and exposed in an open area to catch the breath that had been knocked out of her. After all, he was the one who fell into the same trap as Naruto by falling for something too good to be true.

Are you finally ready to admit that I'm right about him? Inner asked.

Give him a break! It's not like he's had someone to teach him manners!

More someones than Naruto.

"Stupid Inner," Sakura mumbled to herself and went off in search of Sasuke just to spite her other half.

Sakura figured that if she could feel Naruto's chakra, she should probably be able to feel Sasuke's. While Sasuke might not be in a rage, he also probably didn't know how to hide or even minimize his chakra, so she was pretty sure she could get a bead on him.

After a couple of minutes of failing to get even a hint of him, she sat down to try meditating again. She shut her eyes, took a couple of slow, deep breaths, then imagined her chakra reaching out. She immediately felt Naruto even stronger, and he was obviously still upset because even though she was sure that she could feel Sasuke's, and another signature that she assumed was Kakashi-sensei, they were overpowered by him. She imagined 'muting' him and focused on the other two signatures, both of which were fairly close to her.

She picked out Sasuke's immediately and tried to hone in on a more specific location. He was definitely east of Sakura's location, and a little south. She focused harder to get a distance for him but she had never extended her chakra this far before. It wasn't even twenty yards out, though, and Sasuke wasn't that close. She could sense him and Kakashi-sensei, but they were all very vague and fuzzy to her–nothing like her experience with Naruto and Sasuke this morning.

She sighed, thinking she really needed more practice with this. She was about to open her eyes and make her way toward Sasuke when Kakashi's signature disappeared.

Shoot!

Sakura's chakra snapped back to her like a rubber band, knocking her to the ground with a gasp of pain. She pressed her hands to her head in a weak attempt to mitigate her headache while tears ran down her cheeks and she struggled for breath, nauseated and disoriented. She flexed her toes and grabbed fistfuls of grass to ground herself back in her own body as she breathed into the Microcosmic Orbit again.

She wasn't sure how long she reeled before she sensed a disturbance near her. She forced herself to open her eyes, blocking them with her hand against the painful sunlight, and cautiously got to her feet. She looked around nervously, a very unsettling feeling that had nothing to do with the chakra snapback, enveloping her.

"Sak-sakura." Sasuke's voice whispered behind her.

"Sasuke!" Sakura turned as quickly as she dared, grateful just to have someone familiar near when she felt so sick. Her heart sank when she saw him barely propping himself up on a tree, covered in blood and riddled with kunai.

She ran to Sasuke, trying to remember the first-aid she had been taught in the Academy. Even as a student, she had wondered why they didn't spend more time on the subject, and now she knew for sure that the time they had spent on it was woefully inadequate. Still, it was something, and combined with her own research...would definitely not be enough.

Holy shit, Sasuke is going to die!

You can't let him! Inner shouted. Itachi would be devastated!

Sakura didn't have the time or energy to spare on chastising her sub-conscious, instead pressing her palms to a particularly bloody wound in his chest.

"Sasuke! Sasuke, can you hear me?"

"Please. Please, help me." Sasuke groaned.

Huh.

Sakura leaned a little closer to Sasuke and took a whiff of his breath: wintergreen. Why the heck did his breath smell like wintergreen? She hadn't smelled it on him while they were in the tree earlier, or during their uncomfortably-close proximity when she almost turned them into pancakes. And wasn't he allergic to wintergreen?

"Kai!" Sakura shouted.

A moment later, she breathed a sigh of relief: Sasuke was gone and so was that unsettling feeling. She was going to have to buy Inoichi-san a bouquet of his own flowers after this.

The unsettled feeling returned when she began to ask herself questions: Where were her teammates? How long had she actually been in the genjutsu? Had she failed? Had Sasuke?

Was her sensei a sadistic psychopath?

Eh, I'm gonna give him this one. inner said. Better to practice battle conditions before being in battle so that you can train your reactions.

Sakura harrumphed at that and made her way quickly, but quietly, back toward the open training field, hoping she could find out more there. Based on the sun, she was pretty sure she hadn't been in the genjutsu very long. She could hopefully regroup with Sasuke or Narauto and work with one of them to get the bells.

"Sakura."

Sakura stopped mid-stride and looked to her left. Sasuke was staring back at her as though it were normal for heads to sprout from the ground.

"Uck, another one?!" Sakura shook her fists at the sky. "Kai!"

"What the hell are you doing?!" Sasuke snapped.

What. The. HELL?! Inner screeched.

"Holy Hashirama! How did you end up in the ground?!"

"Just get me out!"

The graceless dropp to her knees made Sakura dizzy, but she ignored it and began digging at the dirt around Sasuke's neck.

"I'm not totally foolish, you know," she couldn't stop herself from pouting. "I just forgot to adjust for your weight. I'm actually really good at chakra-jumping."

"I don't care."

"No?" She pinched his cheek a little too rough to just be teasing. "Then you wouldn't care if I kissed you right now?" She faked a blush and a girlish giggle.

"Don't even think about it." Sasuke threatened.

Sakura adjusted her position and said, "Fear not, Saint Sasuke, I shall not defile you. Although," she snickered a little meanly, "it's not like I'd be stealing your first one, is it?"

"Hnnnn." He practically snarled.

"How'd you get buried up to your neck?"

"Kakashi-sensei." Sasuke spat the name as he freed one of his arms and began helping Sakura push away the dirt. "He called it a head-hunter jutsu. The coward used it after I touched one of the bells."

He what?!

He could get one of those bells and move on without Naruto or us! Inner panicked.

"I have to get one before noon." Sasuke freed his other arm and pulled himself out of the ground.

"Or we could always give up and try again next year." Sakura shrugged.

"I am an avenger!" He rounded on her with a sneer, grabbing her by the collar. "I must be stronger than my prey! I need this training and there is no time for setbacks!"

The hair on the back of Sakura's neck prickled and she had to fight the lurch in her stomach threatening to bring up bile. Something had flashed in Sasuke's eyes that Sakura had never seen before and for the first time, she wondered if she really knew the boy in front of her.

"Gee-geez," she laughed nervously, "it was a joke. Of course I don't want to wait until next year!"

Sasuke's gaze wavered when he saw her fear and something resembling contrition passed across his features.

"Sasuke, we should help each–."

Briiiing! Brrrriiiing!

"Dammit!" He released her gently, "that's the timer!"

By the time they followed the sound of the timer to its location, Naruto was tied to a post with two bento boxes at his feet. He looked miserable but Sakura noticed right away that the welts and bruises that he'd had from his round with the shadow clones had healed. How was that possible?

Before she could try to hypothesize, Kakashi spoke.

"I've decided that I won't send any of you back to the Academy."

"What?" Sakura asked dumbly, breathing heavily through her nose as she fought off an upheaval of stomach contents.

"That means–!" Naruto began enthusiastically.

"That's right: you're all being dropped from the program. Permanently."

"WHA–?!" Sakura and Naruto shouted.

Sasuke clearly looked at Kakashi like he was going to be practice for taking down his 'certain someone.'

"You said we'd be sent back to the Academy! You can't just change your mind and stop us from being ninja at all! Why would you do that?" Naruto demanded.

"Because you don't think like ninja." Kakashi said haughtily. "You think like little kids. Like brats."

Sasuke ran at Kakashi head-on and Sakura swore she saw red flash in his eyes. She had never seen him lose his temper like this before. Sure, he was mean and surly, but to just rush a jōnin without a plan? That wasn't like him at all.

As Kakashi sat on Sasuke and twisted his arm precariously behind his back, Sakura had a couple of options: keep her mouth shut or stick up for Sasuke. It wasn't much of a contest, even for Inner, but they both wished she hadn't been so screechy about it.

"You can't just squash Sasuke like a bug!"

"You think it's all about you." Kakashi-said to all three of them. "You don't know what it means to be a ninja. You think it's a game," he snarled. "Why do you think we put you on squads, huh? Did you ever consider that?"

Sakura hadn't ever considered that, and she couldn't now as her head began to swim again and she broke into a cold sweat.

"None of you figured out what this exercise really is, not even close. That's what determines if you pass or fail."

"How are we supposed to know why you put us on squads? We don't make the rules!" Naruto wriggled in his constraints.

"It's so basic," Kakashi said with disgust. "Teamwork."

Sakura leaned against one of the pillars next to Naruto as spots began to dance across her vision.

"Just working together?" Naruto asked. "Is that what you mean?"

"Yes, that's what I mean. It's too late now, but if you three had acted as a group, you might have been able to take the bells."

"You pitted us against each other." Sakura said weakly. "And we fell for it."

"Exactly. A genin should have a natural feel for teamwork, even when it doesn't benefit him, but it never even crossed your minds. Naruto, you did everything on your own and didn't even think of consulting the others; Sasuke, you refused to consult the others because you thought they were so far beneath you; and Sakura, you were too busy looking for Sasuke to help Naruto, or even yourself."

His assessment rankled Sakura bad: she had helped Naruto. And what did Kakashi-sensei expect her to do, try and take him head-on when he had so thoroughly criticized Naruto for coming at him that way? And she sure as hell couldn't go it alone, so sticking with Sasuke had been her only option!

You could have listened to me and helped Naruto down from that trap.

Shut up, Inner!

"I didn't need her help!" Sasuke sneered.

How easily he forgets who dug him out of his death trap. Inner tapped her toes.

Sasuke had the decency to look barely guilty as Sakura glared at him.

"Arrogance! Individual skills are required, but ninja missions are carried out in squads. Teamwork is essential; every shinobi knows this. When an individual puts himself above the squad, it leads to mission-failure, and even death. For example," he put a kunai to Sasuke's throat, "Sakura: kill Naruto now, or Sasuke dies."

"WHA–?!" Naruto's eyes bugged out.

The extra surge of fear produced just enough bile to trip Sakura's delicate truce with her stomach and she began to retch.

"Sakura!" Naruto shouted in alarm.

"Get off me!" Sasuke struggled against Kakashi. "What's wrong with you, Sakura?"

"Don't get mad at her, bastard! She can't help it!"

"I'm not mad at her!"

"You sound mad!"

"Because you're annoying!"

"She'll be fine." Kakashi cut in sharply before Naruto could retort.

Sakura spat out the last of the bitter bile, then wiped the back of her hand across her mouth with a small groan.

"That's what happens on a mission." Kakashi continued as if there had been no interruption, putting away the kunai. "The enemy takes a hostage and you're forced to make an impossible choice. On every mission, your life is on the line." He stood and walked over to a large stone with writing on it. "Have you looked at this? The names engraved on it? They are all ninja who are honored as heroes in our village."

"That's it!" Naruto shouted. "I'm gonna get my name on that stone! Everyone's gonna see me as a hero! I'm gonna–"

"Naruto." Sakura said sadly, immediately getting his attention. "They're all dead."

Sakura's familiarity with the Memorial Stone was due to an ANBU operative in a leopard mask. Leopard-san had saved Sakura from the blond in that alley and his green-haired friend. And even though her violent actions were also the subjects of Sakura's nightmares, Sakura loved her. Leopard-san was the reason Sakura never let her parents talk her out of becoming a ninja.

Even though Leopard-san had promised to keep in touch after she handed Sakura over to her parents a week after the attack, Sakura hadn't seen her since. She didn't know Leopard-san's name, but that didn't stop her from wondering if each new name on the stone belonged to her. On bad days, Sakura told herself that Leopard-san wasn't dead, she just didn't want to see her. But, Sakura knew that Leopard-san wasn't a liar–if she wasn't keeping in touch, it was because she couldn't.

"Ohhh." Naruto breathed, embarrassed and sad.

"That's right. The names of my closest friends are engraved on this memorial stone."

Sakura was still on Kakashi's blindside, but she didn't need to see his eye to know that his melancholy was genuine. His voice was sadder, his slouch was slouchier, his head bowed farther, his hands deeper in his pockets. She got the feeling that he was being his real self, unguarded and vulnerable, for just that moment.

And that's when she realized why she had described him as "theatrical" to her father: the man before her was just putting on a show for everyone while the real Kakashi-sensei hid himself away. Sakura could relate to that. She could relate to that a lot.

"I'm going to give you another chance. You have one hour to get the bells. Eat up now for strength, but Naruto gets nothing. Consider it your punishment for trying to eat without your teammates. If either of you," he looked at Sakura and Sasuke, "give him food, everyone fails. I make the rules, you follow them. Got it?"

And then he was gone.

Pfft! Obvious! Inner rolled her eyes.

Sakura almost started laughing but then she noticed Sasuke eating while Naruto stared longingly at the bento and drooled. So much for ninja being able to see through deception.

She sighed and wondered if maybe Kakashi-sensei wasn't so dumb after all. Hoping to move this along, and get her teammates to understand the meaning of the word, Sakura spoke up.

"I'm sorry." She said.

"Huh? What for, Sakura?"

"Kakashi-sensei's right: I wasn't a team player, and I'm so used to competing against everyone, I guess I don't really know how to be. But I'm willing to try." She smiled softly at both of them, hoping she wouldn't have to say more.

"What are you talking about, Sakura? You threw those shuriken at Sensei and saved my butt."

Somewhere in the distance, Kakashi snorted.

"And then again when you threw even more shuriken to help me figure out which one of me was actually Kakashi-sensei! Teme wouldn't have done that."

"Hn." Sasuke crossed his arms.

"I'm sorry, too, Sakura. I didn't even think about you or Sasuke. I just wanted those bells so bad!"

"We all did." She squeezed his shoulder and he grinned at her. As she grinned back, she wondered how she could have ever thought his smile was creepy. She looked at Sasuke then asked, "Are you gonna get in on this or should we move on?"

"Hnm." He grunted again, but looked at them out of the corner of his eye. "Sorry."

"Well, now that we're all on the same page." Sakura took out a kunai and cut the ropes holding Naruto. "Let's eat."

"Huh?" They both looked at her.

"I need more protein than carbs right now," she said, ignoring their confusion as she took some meat from the blue bento and added it to the red one, while moving all but one rice ball from the red and adding it to the blue. "So you two can split the blue bento while we come up with a plan of attack."

"Why do you get more meat?" Sasuke pouted.

"Because spiking my blood-sugar with rice will only make me sick again."

"Makes sense to me." Naruto nodded, mouth full of rice and vegetables.

"Shut up, idiot, if I don't know what blood-sugar is, then you sure as hell don't. And don't eat the whole thing!" Sasuke smacked Naruto upside the head, making him spit rice everywhere.

"Watch it!" Sakura shouted.

Kakashi watched the genin from a nearby tree, unsure of what he was experiencing. He definitely recognized the sick feeling in his gut that told him he didn't want this, but there was also some sort of...pleasant feeling in his chest. Not happiness or contentment...pride, maybe? And then, of course, there was his brain telling him that they had passed and now he was a sensei.

That sick feeling in his gut grew and he knew he had to find a way out of this.

Kakashi transported himself in front of the genin in a cloud of smoke and wind, sneering internally when the force of the wind made Sakura lose her footing. How the fuck did she even make it out of the Academy?!

To Kakashi's chagrin, Naruto and Sasuke both wrapped their arms around her to keep her from falling, and even remained to support her.

"YOU!" Kakashi bellowed, hoping to scare them into pointing fingers at each other. "You broke the rules! Any last words?"

"We're a team!" Naruto shouted.

That was okay–Kakashi expected that one.

"All three of us." Sasuke said reluctantly.

And there went all of Kakashi's hopes for never being a sensei. Sasuke was the most selfish and focused of the three, which made him the most likely to break if he thought that standing firm would set his vengeance back a year or more. But, he hadn't broken.

"Three as one." Sakura nodded, giving each of her teammates a squeeze on their shoulders. Naruto grinned at Sakura and Sasuke didn't shrug her off, which made her blush happily and made Kakashi stifle a groan.

"Three as one? That's your excuse?" Kakashi demanded, unwilling to give in just yet.

"It's not an excuse!" Naruto roared, making his teammates wince. "It's who we are!"

The other two nodded in agreement.

"Hmm." Kakashi hummed to buy himself some time to collect himself. He couldn't think of anything else to try and wedge them apart. He was fucked. He sneered behind his mask, knowing his eye-crinkle would fool them into thinking he was smiling. "You pass."

"What?!"

"You. Pass." His voice shook a little as he tried to control the rage, the pain, and the shock coursing through him.

Sasuke looked murderous and Kakashi took note to keep an eye on the kid; just because he was nothing compared to Itachi didn't mean he wasn't dangerous.

"You're the first squad to do so," Kakashi told them, shoving his negative reactions behind the walls he had built for containing such things so that he didn't have to deal with them, and resigning himself to the fact that these brats were now a permanent part of his life. "All the others did exactly as I said, no brains of their own." Kakashi almost sighed reminiscently, but decided it was better to just follow the script, no matter how it made him cringe. "In the ninja world, those who break the rules are scum. That's true. But, those who abandon their friends are worse than scum."

In an unconscious attempt to get back at Sakura for uniting her teammates, and destroying his life, Kakashi ruffled her hair–which made her blush at the attention–and asked, "How's your gut, Sakura?"

Kakashi was both disappointed and pleasantly surprised that she showed no signs of the outrage usually apparent when someone referred to a woman's stomach with such a loaded word.

Sakura smiled placatingly and replied, "Like you said, Sensei: I'm fine."

"Glad to hear it."

"Hey, um," Sakura said, looking between the three boys. "My dad and I would like you all to come to dinner tonight. We're having fresh fish and some vegetables from our garden."

"All right!" Naruto shouted. "Thanks, Sakura!"

"You're welcome. Sasuke? Kakashi-sensei?"

"Hm." Sasuke nodded his head once.

"Sorry, Sakura, I already have plans tonight." Kakashi lied. "Maybe next time."

"I understand, Sensei." She nodded, then turned to her teammates. "Six o'clock."

Sasuke and Kakashi took off quickly after that, but Naruto remained behind with Sakura.

"Don't hit me, Sakura, but you don't look so good."

"Who asked you?" She said defensively. "Not all of us can spend hours training and look as fresh as when we started!"

"I just meant that you're extra pale and sweaty!"

"Of course, I am, fool! I haven't–Woah." She wobbled and reached out to steady herself on Naruto's shoulder. "I don't feel so good."

Sakura made a mental note to ask Ino about the side-effects of chakra snapback and how to prevent them.

"Here," Naruto stood in front of her and turned his back to her, "hop on. I'll carry you home."

Unlike his offer yesterday, this time there was no salaciousness in his tone. Sakura thought of declining but decided that she really would rather get a piggyback ride from Naruto than walk home. She hopped on, draping her arms around his neck and leaning her cheek against his shoulder.

"Thanks, Naruto."

"Any time, Sakura."

"I'm sorry I yelled at you just now." She hugged him tighter.

"It's okay." He patted her hands.

"No, it isn't. Please, forgive me?"

"Yeah, of course, I forgive you!" He laughed and leaned his head against hers for a moment. "Believe it!"

"Thanks." She yawned, feeling strangely comfortable for such an awkward position.

"Don't fall asleep, Sakura; I don't know where you live."

"I don't know where you live, either." She realized.

"Just those apartments across from the Academy."

"Who do you live with?"

"Huh? No one; I live on my own."

Just like Sasuke.

Thinking of the pledge she had taken with her teammates–three as one–Sakura said, "You can come over to my house any time, Naruto."

"Yeah?" He asked excitedly but couldn't hide the wariness that she might be pranking him.

"Yeah."

"Thanks, Sakura." He said almost reverently.

She squeezed him a little tighter, then said, "Turn left here."

So, just like I've made Sakura (and those of the Rookie 9 with parents and/or older siiblings to tutor them, although you haven't really seen that yet) more knowledgeable to start out with, I've also made Kakashi...not as infallible as he is in canon. I find his–and Sasuke's–seemingly hardwired perfection and the utter lack of criticism of either of them not only boring, but lazy. Honestly, I have very strong opinions about Kakashi's and Sasuke's wasted potential in canon, not just in terms of how they would have affected the story, but in relation to their own progress as characters. Anyway, I'm ranting, and Kishimoto is published and I'm not, so who am I to criticize?

I'm sorry if the perspectives are a little confusing. I'm still trying to choose how I want to switch between perspectives with these four. That's most obvious with with Naruto and Sasuke since I originally was going to just switch between Sakura's and Kakashi's perspectives but have since changed my mind.

This is un-beta'd, so it's going to take me a while to get into a groove, y'all. Thanks for reading anyway!