Chapter 2: How did I get here? Part 2 (The Beast)

Thursday, July 23, 2015 (R) (cont.)

To say it took some getting used to was an understatement. When I first got into the entry plug, I was baffled. How was I supposed to see outside in this thing? Then, after it was inserted, it started filling with this orange liquid called LCL that soaked my clothes and fully immersed me inside it. Good thing I didn't have anything important in my pockets. I had to fight every instinct to hold my breath, and allow it to work its weird oxygenated magic. Very weird magic it was, too. After the plug filled up with the stuff, I bore witness to a bizarre kaleidoscope of colors and shapes that gave way to my view of the outside world. I was now one with Unit-01, or at least partially; they said my initial sync ratio was 41.3%, which was apparently really good considering I'd never set foot in it before. Eventually, after all the prep had been completed, I was shot up to the surface like a bullet to fight Sachiel.

They told me to just think about walking. So I did. It went well at first. Until I tried to put my other foot in front of me. I promptly fell on my face and couldn't get up. I was still struggling to figure out what did what as the Angel picked me up by the head and I immediately remembered why I was so afraid to get in.

It started to maim me. First it broke my left arm, or rather, the Eva's left arm. It sure felt a lot like my own arm was breaking. Then when it was done with the arm, it started pummeling the right eye with its light spike. It felt exactly like somebody was trying to hammer a nail through my eye socket. I was frightened. I didn't know what to do. I was lost. So… so lost…

My senses became a haze. Everything went dark. Without warning, Unit-01 started moving again, but ...without me? I couldn't see anything, nor could I control it myself, but I could vaguely feel and hear. There was screaming. Pushing, pulling, tearing. An explosion. Breaking. More pulling and tearing. Another, bigger explosion. And then I guess that was it.

By the time I could fully see and comprehend everything going on around me again, I was back at HQ and being extracted from the Eva. Shortly after I came to, its helmet fell off, revealing an organic-looking face with the right eye missing. I watched the eye regenerate on its own and stare right back at me.

The last thing I remember was screaming in terror before everything went black again.

With that, Shinji had finished writing his first journal entry retroactively for yesterday's events. But he wasn't done for the night just yet. There was still today to write about, and he would rather be on top of things while he still had the opportunity.

Friday, July 24, 2015

When I awoke this morning I found myself in what looked like a hospital room. I wasn't hooked up to anything and my body didn't hurt at all, which was unbelievable considering what happened last night. I still had vivid memories of the worst of it, though, and was unsure whether it was all real or just a dream. Seeing as nobody else was around and I had nothing else to do in there, I decided to step out and get a better idea of where I was. It was …a hospital, alright.

As I looked out the window at the greenery, I could hear a gurney about to pass by me. It was Rei. We looked at each other for a moment as she went by. Her expression was… I don't really know. What was she thinking to herself? I wanted to say something, should've said something, but didn't know how to respond. It's not like we would've had time for conversation anyway, as she was out of my sight just as soon as she entered it. Just like in the street. But at least she was alive. Thank goodness for small mercies.

The nurse carrying her must've gathered I had gotten better, because I was allowed to take my things back and wait in the waiting room not long afterwards. Miss Misato was the one to come get me and check me out of the hospital. On our way out, we ran into Father going down the elevator. He still had that piercing stare that everyone gave me when I wouldn't pilot. He wasn't done with me yet, and only time would tell what he'd have me - or Rei if I didn't comply - tossed at next. I couldn't bear to look into his eyes. Just like earlier with Rei, I should've said something to him. Given him a piece of my mind. But I couldn't. I was too weak. I ran away again.

Unsurprisingly, we mutually agreed we didn't want to live together. Initially I had planned on living alone, and chose a room on Block 6 of Nerv HQ. I'm already pretty experienced with taking care of myself. I did plenty of housekeeping chores when I lived with the old teacher, and he'd often be away from home long enough every day because of work that I had to cook my own meals. Besides, I didn't think anybody would want to take me in after I'd refused until the last moment to pilot Unit-01.

Miss Misato proved me wrong when she decided to have me live with her instead. She quickly made all the necessary arrangements to have me moved into her place. Judging from Dr. Akagi's reaction to a joke she made during a phone call, I wasn't sure if I should've been happy or worried. I wanted to be happy, though. I knew by that point she truly wanted to help me and was trying her best.

We made a couple of stops on the way to her apartment. The first was at the convenience store. She had mainly gotten beer, beer snacks, and instant food. Not quite my idea of an appetizing welcoming party dinner… But she also got me this journal I'm writing in now as a present, maybe to make up for it? I've …actually really liked it so far. It's helped me process all these difficult things more clearly, and I'm glad I have it. The second stop we made was at a mountain observation platform. We showed up just in time to see the underground buildings rising out of the safety of the Geofront and into the wide-open sky. It was awe-inspiring. "This was the city you protected," she told me. I did that. I stopped it from being destroyed. I gave the people of the city a reason to be less afraid.

Less afraid. I wanted that for myself. No. I still want it, now. I want to be less afraid of the dangers around me. I want to be less afraid of Father. And I want to be less afraid that I'm too weak to do anything.

Erm… What do I write now? Oh, right. Moving in.

We finally reached my new home, Miss Misato's apartment, at around 8 PM. It… could use some tidying up, to say the least. And so much instant food and beer… How does she stomach all that? I know I had a hard time with it, when we actually ate. But I guess if I can survive an Angel, then making some changes around here shouldn't be too hard. Not like I have a choice either, since I ended up saddled with most of the chores. Damn my luck at rock-paper-scissors. Ah, well. Again, I'm used to doing a lot of chores around the house anyway. There was one last incident for the night, where I met Misato's pet penguin. Yes, pet penguin. A hot springs penguin named Pen-Pen, to be precise. But that's all I'd like to write about it. There are, uh… some things I don't even trust an inanimate object like this with knowing.

So there you have it. The story of how I ended up becoming an Evangelion pilot, fighting against Angels and my Father and living in a messy apartment with a pretty Nerv officer and her penguin. I definitely learned a lot from the past couple of days.

Misato… She's kind of sloppy, and sometimes she's also a bit too forceful and even a bit too chummy for my liking. But she's looking out for me all the same, and I have to be grateful for that. Besides, nobody's perfect. I know I'm not.

Father and the Angels… My enemies. The things I have to learn to fight back against. The things I'm too weak to fight back against right now. I don't want to stay that way forever. I don't want them to just keep kicking me around. I have to get stronger. But how? Hopefully I'll get some better training with the Eva soon.

Rei… Rei… Who is she? What's up with her? Why does Father have to drag her into this Angel business too? I'd ask that about anybody else piloting an Eva, but there's something about her… Something about her that I want to

"Shinji? Are you awake? I'm coming in."

Misato, clad in nothing but a damp towel, slowly and quietly opened the door to Shinji's room to see him doubled over in an awkward position in front of the window. He had a pencil in one hand and his new journal sitting beside the other. He had fallen asleep writing in it.

She chuckled a bit. He looked kind of cute sleeping like that. But it would be bad for his back. She gently picked him up, set him the right way in his bed and tucked him in as best she could.

"I forgot to tell you something," she whispered. "You did something very noble today. You should be proud of yourself. Goodnight, Shinji. Hang in there."

AUTHOR NOTES:

Well, this seems like it's starting to snowball in terms of potential canon divergences. The next chapter after this will probably take longer to come out, as I'll need the time to carefully plan things out from here in case they really go off the rails.

I was initially planning to take the AsuShin route later, but now I'm less sure. At present, things could go AsuShin or ReiShin depending on which one ends up being the more logical progression given Shinji's new development and his limited knowledge of Rei's true nature. Going ReiShin will present a rather special set of challenges, as I'm usually averse to the pairing because of the whole incest angle. But at this point I'm confident I can come up with a way to avert that if the need arises.

Special thanks to Evageeks for help with canon fact-checking (including timeline planning), and to Cintria and SpiderInStockings for pre-reading the chapters released so far.

As of this posting, permanent pre-readers remain welcome so that I can output the best work I'm able. If you like what you've seen so far and would like to formally join the Project as one, please contact me through PMs so we can discuss further. Thank you.