Chapter 3: What did I do to her? (A Transfer)

Wednesday, July 29, 2015

I've been going to school in Tokyo-3 for a few days now. Not much to say about it. It hasn't felt that different from the last school I went to when I lived with Mr. Okamoto. Then again, maybe it's good that something still remains familiar and stable after moving from one life to another. When you've been in a life-threatening situation like I have, the moments of relative peace and quiet feel a lot more valuable. Even so, I still feel restless sometimes.

At home, when I haven't been doing homework I've been reviewing this special map of the city that Dr. Akagi gave me and taking notes on it. Considering I haven't really gotten much in the way of homework yet, this should say a lot. It's marked with all the important places I need to know when I'm out in the Eva, such as launch and extraction points, armament structures where I can retrieve weapons, and power structures where I can swap out umbilical power cables if needed. She told me that they were still working some kinks out of the new virtual reality training systems they're installing, and that I should familiarize myself with this map in the meantime. I hope it won't take a whole lot longer. By this point I practically know the thing like the back of my hand from how much I've been reading and re-reading it.

Today Misato saw me staring at it again and asked me if maybe I should take a break. I told her I'd like to, but I often found myself coming back to the map simply because I don't have a lot of recreational stuff besides my journal and my SDAT player to spend free time on here. She actually looked really concerned, and then asked me what exactly I did at my old home when I had nothing else to do. For one thing, I'd play Bach's Cello Suite No. 1 on …well, the cello. Although Mr. Okamoto kind of made me do it from time to time, because he liked the song, it wasn't like I hated it or anything like that. In fact, I liked playing music, and sometimes wondered if I should've asked him for other songs to play. If that didn't count as recreation, he also had a Master System at his place, and I'd sometimes play Ys for hours on it. I even have a few Ys tracks on my SDAT tape. Huh…

My SDAT player and the tape I always play in it were apparently a birthday gift from Father. He didn't give it to me personally, but through Okamoto. Thinking about it now confuses me. If he sent me away because he would rather I not be around, then why did he bother giving me this? With some of my favorite songs on it? It doesn't make any sense. Did he actually want to take care of me, but couldn't without Mother? What would that have to do with anything? That's the part I don't get. Maybe if I'm lucky I'll be able to ask him some time. But not now. I still need to find the nerve first. And I need to go to bed. I can't stay up too late writing, not like the other day.

Saturday, August 1, 2015

Finally got to start doing VR training this afternoon. They started by testing my knowledge of Eva resource locations throughout Tokyo-3, having me go to designated locations for things like extra weapons and power supply. This also got me some badly needed practice moving around in the Eva. After all, if I can barely walk, then I sure as heck can barely fight either. Dr. Akagi sounded pretty impressed with how well I knew that map she gave me, but naturally the challenge was getting to those places. After making sure I knew how to walk, they started having me run around to different goal points under progressively more difficult time limits. At first, it was hard. There were several times where I accidentally tripped and fell, not unlike what happened with Sachiel, but as I got used to it, it felt almost as natural as running around in my own body. Eventually training ended for the day, and I returned home with Misato. I think I did alright for my first day of serious training. But just being able to run around won't be enough. I need to know how to fight, too. That'll come tomorrow, though. Until then, I should get some rest.

Sunday, August 2, 2015

VR training continues to go well as I start getting more used to fighting in the Eva. First they had me practice aiming and shooting dummies with a pellet rifle and other weapons while stationary. That was largely a matter of putting the target in the center, pulling the switch, and making sure I kept the gun down while shooting so my shots wouldn't pass overhead. Once they thought I was ready, I was pitted against replicas of Sachiel, against which I had to apply all the skills I learned, including shooting while on the run, fighting in melee range with a progressive knife, and most importantly, disabling the enemy's AT Fields. This was easily the most hectic part of training so far. It's one thing to know how to run around and use weapons in an Eva, but something else entirely to know how to do both of those things at once while also trying to dodge the enemy's attacks. I got beaten a few times and had to start over, but for the most part I performed acceptably (as they said). Once I was done for the day, Dr. Akagi said she'd start working on having a daily training routine set up for me, and until then, I could rest from training for a day or two. With that, I returned home with Misato for a normal evening of dinner, studying, and journal writing. And now, bed.

Thursday, August 6, 2015

Today started out normally enough, with typical school and typical Eva training. I thought it would end normally too as Miss Misato and I clocked out of Nerv HQ and drove away. But as we were driving back to the apartment, something was different from normal. This wasn't the typical way we went back home.

As it turned out, she was taking me on a bit of a shopping spree. First, she got me a cell phone, presumably so she could more easily check up on me if I was by myself. Okay. But then, the stuff she got me became more familiar. For one thing, she got me a new cello and the full set of Bach's Cello Suites to practice and play. She also got me a PlayStation 2 and a couple of games for it, namely Ys VI: The Ark of Napishtim (for myself) and Vib-Ribbon 2 (for whenever we had company over and needed a two-player party game). I didn't understand why she was getting me all this stuff at first, until we embarked on the return leg home and she told me: "Happy Birthday, Shinji."

Those words. Those words made me feel ecstatic. But it was odd to hear them, because my birthday was two months ago. She didn't have to do any of this for me, and yet she did all the same. I asked her why; she told me that although I had the safety of humanity on my shoulders, I was still a kid, and I deserved to be able to make more good childhood memories while I still could. Besides, even if today wasn't really my birthday, I'd earned it, she added. We spent the rest of the night enjoying these things together. It was amazing. I don't think I'd had such a good birthday celebration in ages.

I won't forget any of this. Certainly not as long as I have this journal with me, so I can still write close to the height of my excitement. I couldn't be any happier to have someone like Misato as my caretaker. Again, she's not perfect. She's still kind of messy and drinks a little too much for my liking. But even in spite of all that, I wouldn't trade her for anyone else.

Wednesday, August 12, 2015

*sigh* …Where do I even start?

School today initially went as expected, including history class. I hate history class so much. Mr. Saeki seems to give the exact same lecture on Second Impact every damned time. Why is he teaching us? Is there nobody else because of how many people have left Tokyo-3? As always, I opted to spend the lecture working on assignments for other classes, when all of a sudden I got a private message through the chat program. Asking me if I was the one piloting the Eva. I guess I hadn't thought about what would happen if I said anything, and I was feeling good about my performance during training. So I said I was. …That was a mistake.

Before I knew it, almost the entire class was mobbing me, asking me questions I wasn't even sure if I should be answering. I wanted to go hide in a hole somewhere. I wished Mr. Saeki would at least notice something was up, but I guess his ears aren't what they used to be. In fact, the only person who seemed to be trying to help me was Hikari Horaki, the class representative, by reminding everyone we were still in class. I appreciated her efforts, but they didn't really do anything until class was dismissed anyway.

I tried to leave the school as soon as I could, but Touji Suzuhara and Kensuke Aida cornered me on my way out through the back of the school. One of them must've tried to set me up; I think it was Kensuke. As soon as he got the chance, Touji grabbed me and punched me square in the face, knocking me on the ground; Kensuke told me Touji's little sister got injured and put in the hospital as a result of the last Angel battle. I had no idea that happened! And it wasn't even like I had control over what I was doing the whole time; my Eva berserked and I couldn't do anything about it! I apologized to him and said I couldn't have foreseen any of it, but that just seemed to make him angrier. I thought he was going to punch me again, but something in him must have decided I wasn't worth the trouble, so he opted to just push me into the wall instead.

Not long after they left, Rei showed up. She was still bandaged up from whatever happened to her before I arrived at Nerv HQ, and she had her arm in a sling. What could she be coming to talk to me for, I wondered? She always kept to herself in class, staring into space out the window. Was she going to lecture me about how I should've stood up for myself? I couldn't just hit back at someone whose sister I accidentally hospitalized. Of course, that wasn't what she came to talk to me about at all. There was an emergency, and she'd be going on ahead. Was it another Angel? Almost involuntarily I got up to run after her so Father wouldn't have her killed.

Just as I thought, it was another Angel. They called this one Shamshel, and it looked completely different from Sachiel. This one looked kind of like a weird cross between an eggplant and a squid, rather than the bird-faced humanoid I fought three weeks ago. As I was about to launch, I reviewed the plan to take it out with Misato. I would disable its AT Field and then shoot it dead with my pellet rifle. It should've been simple. But as I was going up to face it, I suddenly remembered Touji's sister. I kept thinking over and over again, "I have to kill it as soon as I can before anyone else can be hurt." So much, in fact, that I forgot the part of the plan about disabling the Angel's AT Field before firing.

As soon as I came out of the launch point I mindlessly sprayed shots from my rifle at it. By the time I realized my mistake, the Angel was covered in explosive smoke and I couldn't see it. I awkwardly tried to get away from the Angel, dodging its tentacles and running to grab a spare rifle that had ammo and wasn't sliced in half. My power cable got cut in the process, leaving me with only 5 minutes of operating time. Before I could change cables I found myself being flung maybe a thousand feet into the air before I landed on the nearby mountain.

No sooner did I start to get back up than I notice Touji and Kensuke between Unit-01's fingers; only by sheer luck did I avoid crushing them to death. What were they doing there?! They should've been in the shelters with everyone else! But that wasn't important now. They had to be gotten to safety. I held off the Angel's burning tentacles just long enough for them to get in the entry plug with me, per Misato's orders, and flung it away from me. But then something was strange. Had she said to retreat? Once they were in the plug with me, she made it clear. I was to retreat from the Angel. She had commanded me to run away.

"You mustn't run away."

"Retreat!"

"You mustn't run away."

"Retreat!"

My head became muddled. What was I hearing? Was the woman who told me "I mustn't run away" now telling me to run away? Was she really trying to help me, or was she just doing all those nice things for me to make me a better pawn for Father to sacrifice?

As I kept my eyes on Shamshel, images of Misato flickered on and off in my mind. Why was I still fighting? The question was answered when I remembered that I didn't want to let Father or the Angels kick me around anymore. I didn't want anybody to get in the way of that.

My confusion turned into pure rage. I beheld Misato as I screamed in anger, rushed the Angel, and slammed my progressive knife into its core as hard as I could.

The Angel and my Eva fell silent together as my operating time expired. In the silent darkness of the entry plug, things began clearing up. I had just killed the one person in all of Nerv and Tokyo-3 who had shown me any kindness. The one person I could call my family.

I was still crying as we were all being extracted from the plug.

AUTHOR'S NOTES:

Whew. This was a doozy. I had originally intended to combine Episodes 3 and 4 into one chapter, because I didn't think Episode 4 had enough usable material to warrant being separate, for reasons you might see later. But then the training and birthday scenes expanded the Episode 3 material more than I anticipated and made the "episode-and-a-half" chapter twice the length of a normal chapter anyway. So I decided to split them, which also allows me to preserve the "one NGE episode, one chapter" thing I have going on.

In spite of this, I still decided it would be better to post Chapters 3 and 4 simultaneously so I can still preserve that dramatic momentum I got going. Most invested readers will probably do so anyway, but Chapter 4 is best read immediately after Chapter 3 for that reason.

From this point, the old teacher Shinji lived with will be referred to as "Mr. Okamoto" (a reference to Aleph's trainer in Shin Megami Tensei II). Because it's really weird for Shinji not to refer to the guy he lived with for over a decade by some kind of proper name.

And before you ask, no, the Vib-Ribbon sequel on PS2 with a two-player mode isn't real. Sorry. It's something made up for the story. It might be useful for Shinji and Asuka's sync training for Israfel later on down the line, though.

Special thanks to Evageeks for help with canon fact-checking (including timeline planning), and to my pre-readers for pre-reading the chapters released so far. Thanks especially to Argent-of-Cintria, whose consulting will prove to be valuable for the coming chapters.

EDIT (12/18/2021): Additionally, Shinji's senile history teacher is now named Mr. Saeki (a reference to the president of SEBEC in the first Persona game). Apparently "Nebukawa" is not his actual surname, but the place where he lived before Second Impact. Oops.