A/N: This chapter was hard to write, but it's mostly about Jen LuXian having closure with Madam Qian and Qian Shenyang about what their issues with him are. I'm happy with how it turned out and happy to close the Republic City arc of the story.
Chapter Eleven - The Mockingbird That Lost Its Wings In The Wind:
There was peace in the Qian household, despite Jen LuXian sitting on a wooden swing in the courtyard, tied to a pear blossom tree and they were relative to the region. Pear blossom flowers were another flower of spring, more than the cherry blossoms on Air Temple Island. The earth master pushed himself lightly on the swing, but never wanted to go higher than what he could take, because swinging high was not what he wanted. Taking in the foliage and hear the chirping of the birds coming into the courtyard, with bird food left on wooden platforms, as birds from the region would make the Qian family's courtyard a feeding post. He gleamed at the presence of the birds and native squirrels that came in and out of the garden, because Jen Lian was gentle to animals and grew up with an abundance of nature in Bao Yun.
Jen LuXian was a week removed from the sampan ride and bearing himself openly to General Iroh. He lived through experiences, people of his rank never had because of how close-minded and sheltered they were. He saw the most poverty stricken village in the Gintong Province, but Jen LuXian gave up whatever money he had in helping people because of his vows as priest. He always had money left over, but he was not as individually wealthy as his former peers were. The Jen family were wealthy, but usually invested into the region of Bao Yun, the wellbeing of the people and refurbishing abandoned temples in the northern region to give back to the gods. His family were spiritually faithful, because of their history and how unmarried members of the Jen Clan became priests to devote themselves to the faith.
He was alone in the courtyard, making the choice to send the three serving girls back to Bao Yun, alongside Kumi as their escort. Jen LuXian didn't need them anymore and the girls were unhappy with travelling around and getting into trouble, because of the earth master's terrible luck. He wanted to save Daiya, Jei and Shai from their lives being ruined and sent them home and thanked them for their years of service to him. It was better for Kumi to be sent away, most of the Qian household staff believed Jen LuXian was punishing Kumi for leaving him in the carriage, to the point of His Highness having to rescue him from boredom and he returned the Earth Kingdom man to the Qian family's doorstep. A respectable distance from the house with the Qian household guards patrolling the estate at night.
The earth master learned to take care of himself and swore himself to priesthood. Most nobles would never swear the vows of abstinence and piety, but Jen LuXian did to find a new meaning in his life without earthly tethers, such as material possessions and the allure of noble status. It also freed him from the obligation of marrying because earth priests male or female lived an ascetic lifestyle clean from sin and infamy. His duty was helping people and breaking the tethers he had with his old life, but Jen LuXian was alone and no one truly understood him. Sending the serving girls away made things better, because he wanted them to go home and back to the lives they were living, before they left Bao Yun with him.
From the left side of the courtyard, a fuschia pink dressed servant approached Jen LuXian with a bunch of golden peonies. Jen LuXian was no stranger into being given things, the last delivery was a pouch that was carried on the back, but had one strap for across the chest and shoulder. He liked the pouch, because it will be easier to carry whatever belongings he had and not rely on the sleeves of his robes to carry things. He turned his head, whilst sitting on the swing and the servant's face reddened, when he made eye contact with the young master. The man couldn't help how people reacted to his appearance, but he was used to it. To the point it became normal for people to blush or lose their bearings, when they looked at Jen Lian in the face.
The male servant bowed before Jen LuXian and said, "The peonies are in great condition, Your Grace." The bunch of golden peonies landed on Jen LuXian's lap, but the servant went away, after the delivery was made and hoping to do something to reduce his reddening face. The man clutched onto the flowers, bright as they were in the sun. He never expected the Qian servants to treat him differently, the way they treated other guests, who visited the Qian family.
Jen LuXian stiffened, because of the number of times people called him Your Grace. In his youth, being called Your Grace isolated Young Master Jen from his peers on purpose, because no one wanted to be his friend by merit, because he was of higher status than the others, because of his mother's royal lineage. The tones were different, because when people old enough to be his parents and grandparents called him Your Grace, it was formal and patronising manner, to express their contempt towards him. When General Iroh called him Your Grace, his voice was gentle and it was said in reverence and respect for him, in a way he wished other people were towards him.
His fingers brushed against the peonies. The young master liked the flowers, but golden peonies were special in its own way. From his knowledge of Fire Nation history, Jen LuXian knew the golden peony was the symbol of the old Keohso Clan, but Lady Sulan marrying into the royal family birthed a bloodline of Keohso blooded royals for generations to come. The royal family never forget their roots from the Keohso Clan and made the peony the national flower of the Fire Nation. It was easy to tell, who gifted the flowers to Jen LuXian and what the special meaning was, normally the members of the Keohso Clan gave a peony towards the ones they loved, when the clan were around and not extant from the world.
The earth master was used to being ignored by people. That night on sampan, it was the first time, anyone outside of servants paid attention to him and treated him well. Jen LuXian had a great belief in the good of people, no matter who they were and would hate people for good reason. Those who hated him, hated him for petty reasons like devoting his life to serving the world and his people, rather than be a lord husband for a woman, who was going to lead her family clan in the future. Jen LuXian wanted to do something meaningful with his life, which was different to what his former noble peers were doing, but he lived a life no one would wish on their worst enemies.
Jen LuXian suffered five years of torment, but never waivered from his path.
There was a letter, which the young master picked up between his fingers. Jen LuXian was curious about what it said, because the last gift he had no letter or a note inside because he didn't know, who it was and why they gave him a pouch. His guest robes of fuschia pink made him feel like a part of the clan, even though he was not related to them by blood, but a member of the Qian Clan wanted to marry his grandfather Jen Qin, but one of old General Sung's daughters named Daiyu approached his grandfather. A woman, who was plain and boring to the eye, but shrewd once people got to know her and Sung Daiyu was pious and rebuilt a ruined temple dedicated to Tian the Great, because of her faith and that transferred to the Jen Clan.
Jen LuXian sighed, thinking about what it could have been, if his grandfather and the late Old Madam Qian married each other. The families of Jen and Qian tied together in marriage, maybe it was not in the books for fate to be. The sun was shining in the mid-afternoon, with the youngest children of the Qian family in school and the eldest two working. He was alone because he was a guest and took a break from teaching on his travels, even though he was not the teacher that most sifus were in the Earth Kingdom. Jen LuXian taught from what he learned from the teachers he had in the past, but someone like him with a natural gift for bending had many teachers come and go. Learning from different earthbending styles developed Jen LuXian's bending style more, which was unique from the other earthbenders.
He opened the letter in his hands, but his heart quickened at the thought of reading it. The last time Jen LuXian had a handwritten letter was from a member of the Cao family, who met him at the Omashu royal wedding and came onto him strong. Jen LuXian's other avid admirers hated the thought of a member of the Omashu queen's maiden clan being too chivalrous towards him. Jen LuXian had a reputation for people falling in love with him, the same way people fell for his mother in her youthful prime. As he travelled, Jen LuXian had his letters delivered by various messengers from all over the Earth Kingdom, who delivered the letters from his uncle Jen Xizuan's estate in Omashu.
Your Grace...
I wondered of the evening we spent together. Wondering if the follies of our youth have returned. The peony has been the national flower of my nation for centuries, and I wanted to give them to you. I miss having you in my life, as the demons in my head were banished the moment you came back. I cherished the friendship we shared in our youth, despite our cultural differences. Don't be deterred by the scar on your face, I don't think differently of you because of it. Nothing can ruin your beauty for me, even with a face of mud or a face painted in heavy makeup, you will always be beautiful to me. I'm glad to know the man, who scarred you is dead, because I would have killed him myself in a heartbeat, no matter what because the useless pig hurt you and I will never allow anyone to hurt you again.
Taking time off from the United Forces, isn't something I do, but I am honoured to step back. I have a lot to think about, in terms of the future and choosing my successor, because the long years of fighting have done more harm than good. Those five years pained my heart, I had no one but Tarrick to hold me together, because I missed you very much. I hope you are enjoying your stay in Republic City, despite the modernity being an assault on your traditionalist senses and the people in high society being shameless and cultural heathens to you.
It hurts me, when the upper crust of the city got the privilege to see your beauty and admire it. It's bad enough I had to compete with of Fu Cheng and Second Lady Ning for your attention, but the offspring of the elite in this city are not fit to shine your boots. I'm sorry Your Grace, if I am waxing too much about your looks, and I know how it makes you feel, not wanting to be the centre of attention. I wished I was half the man you are, you gave up everything to believe in the good of people and saving the world. I hope I can make that tea blend you liked the other night and hear more of what you did, when you were expelled from the south pole.
I was a coward and didn't stand up for you.
By the time the peonies get to you. Destroy the letter, so the Qian household staff don't get you in trouble and cause problems between you and Master Qian. I'm glad to see you again Your Grace and I hope to be of assistance to you, rather than get in your way. The golden peonies might be an overstretch, because you hate gold because of the Daojing family and the royal dynasty in Ba Sing Se. Please don't think me pathetic for writing this much to you, because I failed to write to you before because my work in the United Forces was put first before anything else in my life.
Yours Truly...
The letter was folded between the young master's fingers. He had letters like this and kept the important ones with him, but His Royal Highness was a wall, fortified and protected because of his status as a high ranking officer, and showing feelings in a military setting was a weakness. The earth master was used to having admirers, who would give him gifts for his nameday. It did not happen anymore because Jen LuXian's reputation had fallen so low, after being expelled from the south pole and rejecting the five marriage proposals. He knew his fallen status was the reason why his Uncle Han let him leave Bao Yun, not convincing him to stay, even though the women of his household begged him to stay in Bao Yun.
Pushing himself lightly on the swing, was something Jen LuXian missed about the courtyard of Omashu's royal palace. The swing in the royal courtyard was the Omashu princess Fu Meifen's favourite activity to do with ladies of the court, visiting nobles or entertaining foreign visitors from the other nations. Jen LuXian envied Fu Meifen, for keeping her reputation intact and being the darling of the Earth Kingdom, which was something Jen LuXian had been in the past. He used to be where Fu Huang's prized emerald of a daughter is in her life. People adored Jen Lian once, people wanted to admire his beauty and heroics, until he failed the Avatar and became a laughing stock of the Earth Kingdom.
Jen LuXian understood why they laughed at him, because it made the nobles feel better about themselves.
The afternoon sun made Jen LuXian squint his eyes, not liking the sun bearing down on him. He was raised in a place, where there were many trees, towering over him to absorb the sun's light and the people of Bao Yun never had hot summers, in a way other parts of the Earth Kingdom did, because of the geographical different between Jen LuXian's homeland and the rest of the Earth Kingdom. Jen LuXian had gotten used to the sun, but he lived in a mountain region, where his skin paled but travelling around the Earth Kingdom got him used to the sun. The earth master tucked his hands in the sleeves of his robes, lowering his head as he held onto the peonies given to him, knowing the household servants will disapprove, if they knew the Fire Nation prince was sneaking flowers into the estate.
He was used to being alone, because he only had his bodyguard and servants. No real friends, because they abandoned him, when he fell from grace. Jen LuXian moved on, but he never got over the feeling of alienation, because no one other than Fu Cheng stood at his side openly, whilst society tore Jen Lian down for mourning his dead bodyguard. He loved Su Yong, but the world viewed Su Yong as a servant and unworthy of a man of Jen LuXian's status. Jen LuXian numbed himself, to the point of not caring, but the Qian Clan welcomed him into their household without expecting anything, other than courtesy and wanting a relationship with the Jen Clan.
Jen LuXian knew how important the Qian family was to his family, because both clans have been allies for generations. He would lose nothing to have a member of the Qian family as an ally, because he lost his friends years ago. The Qian Clan lived on the outskirts of Republic City, where new customs rule and they didn't care about the Earth Kingdom customs, that were outdated to them. The afternoon sun was less harsh on Jen LuXian than before. He held onto the letter that made his heart swell is something that is associated with a teenager in love. Jen LuXian didn't care because the letter was from someone, who was unashamedly on his side and never abandoned him like everyone else did.
The hallway of the main house had mockingbird busts, given to the family as gifts from various friends. Jen LuXian thought mockingbirds were cute and not as fearsome as the badgermole, but he smiled because of the absurdity of it. He was greeted a few times by the Qian household staff; it made Jen LuXian reflect on his upbringing and how spoiled and sheltered he was in his childhood, with no friends outside of nobility and the people, who lived in his household. Jen LuXian was the young master known for making friends with the people, who served him because the closest state from Bao Yun was Ba Sing Se and he didn't like the stench and the corruption of the capitol.
Pink fitted Jen LuXian well, even though it was a colour young misses wore, whenever the Autumn Moon Festival was being celebrated. He could wear any colour, due to his shining brown eyes and his eyes not being a factor in clashing against the robes he wore. Jen LuXian felt a sense of loneliness, but he was fine with it because he knew the consequences of his actions. Swearing his vows to priesthood was what he did to separate himself from worldly tethers. Jen LuXian was happier helping people than going to parties and having to talk to people, who envied him or didn't like him because he was a master earthbender, he was a beauty and his maternal family being in succession of the Earth Kingdom throne.
Since Jen LuXian got to the Qian estate. He noticed the expressions Madam Qian made, every time his mother was mentioned. He saw the tight lip that Master Qian's wife held and looked at him with sadness on her face. The young master stayed away from the madam, knowing she disliked him for inviting a firebender into her home, but she would be the type to destroy General Iroh's letter, alongside the golden peonies. He was cordial with the hostess and treated Madam Qian with cool courtesy, with respect to her title as the madam of the house. This will not go well long term, because Uncle Han was adamant in keeping ties with the Qian Clan and them remembering the debts they owed the Jen Clan.
Jen LuXian sighed, even though he enjoyed the time spent with Qian Heifen, who was not the woman to soften her tongue, but would tell him the truth of things she or her family disliked, outside of him bringing Iroh into the mansion without asking her family members. He should have known better, because the Qians despised firebenders and Fire Nation nationals, because of the exile their forefathers suffered from when the Fire Nation conquered Taku, burned down the Qian Clan's old estate, destroyed generations of their clan's history and killed members of the family.
Many in the Earth Kingdom felt the same way, the Qian family did about firebenders. However, Jen LuXian came from a region, which was untaken by the Fire Nation and generations of people in Bao Yun never suffered the Fire Nation's torment, which was something that was suffered by people all over the Earth Kingdom.
"I should be more empathetic to the Qians. Their ancestors moved around, before they made their way to Bao Yun. I'm not sure if Madam Qian even likes me. I wonder if my mother did something to Madam Qian in their youth and she has never forgiven. She is not the kind of woman to punish me for my mother's actions, but I don't know. Master Qian and the rest of the family adore me, but Madam Qian is indifferent, because of her silence and nothing radiates warmth from her. I am used to the hostile silence before, and it will not be the last time a noble madam is hostile towards me, because of various reasons from the petty reasoning to the valid reasoning."
The young master's stroll through the halls, past tapestries that looked withered. His heart sank, knowing the Qian family were essentially rebuilding their history, with what their forefathers had left over from their estate, before the Fire Nation soldiers burned it down. Jen LuXian tucked his hands into the sleeves, his hair followed with the sun dimming through the curtains. He wanted Madam Qian to like him, but it was not the case with the lady of the house seeming uncaring towards him. Jen LuXian never expected to be spoiled rotten or pampered as a guest, but he expected fair treatment and he never expected the distance between himself and the madam of the Qian family.
Jen LuXian witnessed a woman entering a room in front of him. He heard the jingles of jewellery, and he followed. Pacing through the hallway slowly, because he didn't want to experience tripping on his robes again and not having General Iroh catch him. A red blush appeared on his face, when he thought of those arms around him and those hands holding his hands. Jen LuXian was thirty years old, but blushed like he was Meiling's age, when a boy looked at her. His hand was against a door, which opened and he saw the woman, who entered in front of him and the clothing on the woman was not of a staff member, plain and a single colour, but the pink robes were detailed and the silver mockingbirds leapt through the material and only one member of the family wore robes like that.
Young Master Jen cleared his throat and said, "Madam Qian." His voice was devoid of emotion, because he wanted to be neutral and not cause problems between them.
The lady of the house turned around, but Madam Qian's eyes widened. "Young Master Jen, I suspect you are thinking about ways to avoid my daughter again." The woman's voice was brittle, devoid of any sweetness, as Madam Qian cherished her eldest child.
"I mean no disrespect, Madam Qian. Your daughter has been a great host to me."
"I know my daughter is no great beauty like Asami Sato, but don't treat her badly."
"What do you mean?"
"I know Fen'er is overly attached to people, but..." Madam Qian said, pausing and placing a hand over her lips. Her eyes were stilled, but she could control her emotions. The woman must have gotten the idea that Jen LuXian was intentionally ignoring her daughter, but he enjoyed her company and learned a lot about Republic City's social hierarchy. It must be from whatever grudge Madam Qian held towards Jen Lian's mother, that she couldn't let it go of it.
"Whatever you are thinking, is not what it is?" Jen LuXian answered.
Madam Qian's glare this time was harsher, than the one she had upon her youngest son for poor table manners. "You...look just like her. It pains me because I see how that rapacious prince looks at you. I know you are smart enough not to let him touch you."
The earth master looked away, knowing what Madam Qian said had happened. He felt saddened, because it was not only Madam Qian, who felt this way about Fire Nation people, but the entire clan and household. It made him feel sorry that generational trauma was the reason why they have views like this. Jen LuXian couldn't change their views, but he could understand and emphasise with the reasons why.
"Why did you say I looked like her? Did you know her?" Jen LuXian asked.
"When I was a young girl, my father was a social climber. He wanted to forge alliances with families more powerful than ours. My mother suggested he send me to Ba Sing Se to be the handmaiden of Teng Jiaowen, the daughter of Earth King Kuei's cousin Old Master Teng. I was plain and no great beauty like the daughters of the palace officials, but I survived because I was smarter than those pig-chickens. Your mother and I were close, for the years I was her handmaiden. She grew more beautiful every year, and I never envied her, like the other girls did. There were times, when I had to get your mother out of trouble with her cousins." Madam Qian foretold, with a gentleness in her tone that was foreign to Jen LuXian, who was used to the woman being stone-cold around him.
"My apologises..."
Madam Qian's hand brushed across Jen LuXian's hair, near to his face and smiled. "I know you cause trouble with your looks. The royal court was where I saw the rottenness of the old Earth King's firstborn, due to the fact of your mother stealing suitors from her and her sisters. I was one of the only people, your mother trusted because most of the nobles wanted favours because of her being Old Master Teng's treasured daughter. One day, Old Master Zhan's son was hovering around Jiaowen like a buzzard, who wouldn't go away and I felt my stomach boiling. I didn't know why I had such hatred towards some minor master's son, who only wanted your mother's attention. I knew something about that boy wasn't right, but your mother believed I was jealous and wanted him for myself."
Jen LuXian's heart sank, knowing the seething in the madam's voice, when she talked about the current Master Zhan, who was known as the Guardian of the Serpent's Pass and charged other clans passage through the pass for a toll, just to spite the richer and more powerful clans, since the Zhan family was a minor clan in the Earth Kingdom. "Madam Qian...did your friendship with my mother go deeper than your duty to her."
The look Madam Qian had on her face, was of desolation and sadness. It was as if someone died and she never got past it. "Young Master Jen, you understand what kind of place Ba Sing Se is. The customs and rules are stricter and the face of entire families can be ruined with one rumour, it could be a young master kissing his male servant or a young miss running away with her sworn sister. The truth was I hated that Zhan boy to the fibre of my being, because he wasn't worthy of being in your mother's presence. That boy became the source of my anger for myself, for allowing myself to wonder about Jiaowen as more than a friend."
Madam Qian took a deep breath out, then continued her story. "My feelings for your mother crossed the line, something that would be punished if my parents knew. I love my husband dearly, but when I was young I did have feelings for your mother. One of the older washerwomen, who worked in the royal palace said some people like the opposite gender, some like the same gender and others might like both genders or more. I ignored that stuff, because I had my family's face to uphold and being in court helped me learn about politics and how to run a household. There were times I shared a bed with your mother, because she missed her family and needed someone to comfort her."
The earth master saw a tear fall from Madam Qian's left eye. He didn't know Madam Qian talking about her past would be painful, learning she and his mother shared something, between girls who had each other to survive Ba Sing Se's royal court. It reminded Jen LuXian of his relationship with Su Yong, but it was different because Su Yong was from the Middle Ring and had a normal lifestyle. In the eyes of noble society, Su Yong's status was lower than Jen LuXian's and he was treated no less than a dog, by Jen LuXian's family. Jen LuXian knew the nights, when he shared his bed with Su Yong and didn't have to worry about anything in the world.
"Chu Ruolan...I want to know, why you treat me the way you do."
Madam Qian had a hand pressed against her forehead, her lips trembled and sighed. "Your mother and I...had a complicated relationship, which ended badly and I was collateral damage. There was a time, I was in your mother's bedroom, it was after a handsome palace guard rejected her and she was sensitive about it. No one rejected your mother before, it was usually the other way round. I did my duty as a handmaiden and told her that guard was not worthy of her."
"What did she do?" Jen LuXian said, in a sterner tone.
"Your mother kissed me...It was something I dreamed of and I feel ashamed saying this to you. I kissed other boys in Ba Sing Se and Taku, but nothing made me feel the way Jiaowen did that night. I was too young to realise I loved her. I loved my friend, when I should be paying attention to boys. Years later, your mother pushed me away and began flaunting herself towards suitors whom visited Ba Sing Se or the Teng estate for her hand in marriage." Madam Qian's voice started turning hard, like unbent iron. "Naive little Chu Ruolan was stupid...to think the most beautiful woman in the world would throw away attention, expensive gifts from suitors and her reputation for me. I grew bitter for years, before Qian Baijong came into my life."
"Does Master Qian know?"
"No...Young Master Jen. I love Baijong, I don't want him to feel like he married me for pity. We do love each other, after enough time and healing my emotional wounds. I returned to Taku in my twenties, not looking back and knowing the stench of Ba Sing Se made me bitter. Being inside that court will change you and you will never be the same, when you leave. I was happy, when your parents married each other, because Bao Yun was far away from Ba Sing Se, where Jiaowen can humble herself and become a better person, not the bitch I knew from our days as innocent youths."
The young master's heart sank, and he lowered his head in shame. He never would have thought his mother, was capable of using a loyal friend and breaking their heart like that. Jen LuXian was too gentle to think of doing such a thing, but it was the reason why he stayed away from people. The man did break hearts, but it was honest rejection and not using them for his own pleasures. He knew that Madam Qian will scold him for calling her by her maiden surname. The Qians and the Jens were generational sworn siblings and first names were used, when the two families were linked.
Jen LuXian clutched onto his butterfly necklace, it was the one thing he had left of his mother. He looked into the eyes of Madam Qian, who wiped the tears in her eyes, reliving painful memories hurt and the person who caused the pain was dead, but Qian Ruolan had her closure long ago and was at peace with herself. Jen LuXian approached the madam and placed a hand on her shoulder, even though he will be scolded for doing such a thing. He took a deep breath. Jen Lian was nothing like his mother and he would never dream of hurting Qian Heifen, the way his mother hurt Madam Qian when they were young girls in Ba Sing Se court.
"Be careful, Young Master Jen. The Fire Nation are rotten and so are their royal family. I heard what the prince did to Mr. Miyagi's daughter weeks ago and I don't want the same to happen to you. You deserve better than that." Madam Qian said, in her stern tone.
"I am not naive, I know myself." Jen LuXian replied.
"I apologise, for the way I treated you. I made your stay fraught with tension."
"I'm glad you told me everything. I just wanted to hear from someone, who knew my mother and never shied away from her flaws."
"I wish you the best on your journey, Young Master Jen. You are always welcome in my household."
The earth master was pleased, as the tension between himself and Madam Qian dissipated. Jen LuXian knew he needed to toe the line, because he was in the Qian household and there were rules, he didn't want to shame himself. He tucked his hands in the sleeves of his robes, with his hair loose formed from his topknot. There was a mirror in the room, where he and Madam Qian were standing and he looked at the reflection in the mirror. Jen Lian was no stranger to people gazing at him, as it became normal and something he had to deal with, because of who his mother was and both his family names in the world.
Jen LuXian watched Madam Qian walk out of the room, because there were household duties to attend to. He met women of all kinds, especially the noble madams, who ran their households when their husbands were away or ruled their clans in their own right. Despite old traditions and customs ruling the Earth Kingdom, few noble families followed equal primogeniture and other families would rather have a son be the heir than a girl, who was of age. The man had enough of old customs ruling his life, until he left Bao Yun to see the world outside his homeland and fate gave him the chance to create his own destiny, rather than be told his future. He smiled, knowing he will leave this household and the people in it and will have fond memories, until his next adventure through the wide open landscape of the northeastern lands.
The sunset shone through the windows of the guest room. Jen LuXian was packing whatever belongings he had brought to the Qian estate, into the pouch that was given to him as a gift. He moved around the world in his years, as a pious nomad and never stayed anywhere too long, unless he stayed with his uncle in Omashu. The man liked the sunset, but his thoughts were towards a pair of arms wrapped around his waist and he ignored it. Those thoughts in the young master's head were shameless, not befitting of a man, who swore his vows of abstinence and for the faith and not towards sin and infamy, which was something Fire Nation people had a bad reputation for and people judged them.
Jen LuXian sighed, under a chilled breath. He had been alone for more than five years, adding to the years removed from being expelled from the Southern Water Tribe. The earth master resided to the fact of being alone, as everyone he had in his life left him, because he was bad luck and a failure to his family. From the open window, a black and orange butterfly was sitting on the windowsill and he smiled, he cared for animals from the smallest creature to the bigger fauna he saw. Jen Lian pushed the window open, to allow the butterfly to fly away from being inside his guest room, knowing the household staff were not pleased when animals visited the courtyard, especially when they had guests over in the estate.
When he was twelve, Jen LuXian wanted to save the world, like the Avatar. His elders laughed, but entertained him because of his childish dreams. It was something he kept close to his heart and forged it in steel. Jen LuXian let his elders remain ignorant, but they were worried when they heard he took part in a dangerous case, disguised as a cult wife of the Xieye Sect and did not mind crossdressing, if it saved the lives of the people held hostage by the sect. The odd thing about it was, Jen LuXian had no problem with wearing women's clothing to infiltrate a cult, that had been rising in power because local officials were killed or did not care about the situation.
The earth master's cheeks reddened, by the thought of his crossdressing experience. Jen LuXian found clothes beautiful, no matter the gender or who wore them. Red robes with lavish embroidery in the Fire Nation was a wedding dress and what Jen LuXian had worn, inside the Xieye Sect was close to that. He thought about marriage, having rejected five proposals and it being an expectation of being married and having a lavish wedding. Jen LuXian dreamed about getting married, but he didn't put it out of the question. His age remained a oddity, as most noblemen got married before they turned thirty and twenty five was the average age for nobles to get married in the Earth Kingdom.
The door of the guestroom opened, for a casually dressed Qian Shenyang to enter. He wore plain pink robes when he was at home. Jen LuXian observed Qian Shenyang closing the door behind him, knowing the servants in the main house were nosy and didn't know how to mind their business. He never liked staying in noble households, because Jen LuXian was used to adventures in the wider world and not staying in one place. Jen LuXian is at a point, where he wants somewhere to call home and not move around so much, it was the life he led as a nomad and giving up his privileged life for a wider perspective of the world and seeing everything in front of him.
Jen LuXian looked at Qian Shenyang, there was something about the young master that reminded him of Su Yong. Qian Shenyang's hair was in a ponytail, not a traditional topknot, most noblemen had on. He found the Eldest Young Master of the Qian family to be handsome, in comparison to his sister. Jen LuXian's face flushed, as he saw the young master approach him to where the earth master was. The curtains were shut to block the sunset from the window, but seeing Qian Shenyang up close made Jen LuXian think the other man was different; in comparison to another uniquely handsome man with molten gold eyes. His hands were tucked into the sleeves of his robes, but turned away from Qian Shenyang, knowing Jen LuXian must have done something to offend him.
"Young Master Qian, if you are here to defend your mother's honour, it's a waste of time." Jen LuXian said, in a tone devoid of emotion.
"I'm not here for that. I'm here to catch you before Heifen does." Qian Shenyang replied.
"Why?"
"...I know you are leaving and I don't blame you. Staying here must be strange for you, because of the modernity of Republic City."
"It's okay...Omashu's modernity is nothing compared to this city."
A blush appeared on Qian Shenyang's cheeks, as the other man had his hands behind his back. "I like how modest you are, compared to the leeches I have to socialise with in my life. There is no one like you in Republic City, unless they are outsiders."
"What do you mean by that?"
"You get to travel wherever you want and live by your own rules. The custom of face matters in Republic City with people from Fire Nation and Earth Kingdom backgrounds are born and raised here. Sometimes, I wish I can get away from here and see the world like you do."
"I travel for my own learning. The style of earthbending I practice commands abstinence and absolute faith."
"Did one of your teachers come from a strict bending sect?"
"Yes."
Qian Shenyang cleared his throat, turning his face away from Jen LuXian's gaze. "Are you..."
"What is it?"
"Nothing..."
The moment was awkward between them. Jen LuXian had witnessed Qian Shenyang's behaviour whenever he spent time with the other man's sister. There was a jealous burn in his eyes, all because Young Master Qian had been the sworn brother of Jen Lian's cousin Chou and it made things uncomfortable, since Jen LuXian left his clan quietly. He was not aware that the young master of the Qian family was so effected by him in such a way, that he had other thoughts about Shenyang. Being a guest in the Qian household meant Jen LuXian minded his own business and did not get involved in the internal affairs of the Qian Clan because it was the rules and outsiders stayed out of such affairs. The man didn't like it, when other people tried to insert themselves in the business of the Jen Clan, even though it was an issue for his family to handle away from outsiders.
Jen LuXian might never meet the Qians again, because of his lifestyle in travelling, refurbishing temples and collecting scraps to make money, because it was the way to survive. He didn't expect Kumi to take to the nomadic lifestyle he had been leading, expecting her like everyone else to abandon him. Kumi was his bodyguard, bought and paid for by Uncle Han to protect him, even though he was labelled an exile of the Jen Clan. Outside of Bao Yun, Jen LuXian's status made him a target for all types of unsavoury characters in the Earth Kingdom, even though he stayed out of politics and focused on helping people, who were left behind. An exiled young master was inspiring the faithful, unlike the earth sages who have abandoned their duties to the common people and care more about filling their pockets and being the puppets of the nobility and the royal dynasty of Ba Sing Se.
Qian Shenyang looked vulnerable, by his widened eyes and his fingers twiddling away. "Young Master Jen...I never meant to make you feel uncomfortable." The other man explained, in a softened tone of voice.
Jen LuXian wrapped his arms around himself. "It's okay. I know you have no ill intensions towards me."
"...I like you..."
"In what way."
"As a person, someone to aspire to be like. Most Earth Kingdom boys want to be princes and heroes, but none want to be someone like you."
"You don't want the life, I have lived for the last three years."
"My father wished my siblings and I were more faithful to the gods and the spirits."
"It's never too late to discover your own faith, Young Master Qian."
Qian Shenyang chucked, wondering how he would find inspiration from a fallen man. "The Tiger Goddess is popular in this part of the world. Her largest temple is in Taku, but this part of the world long ago used to worship Tienhai, before her city fell and her temples abandoned. It's a shame Tienhai is not worshipped in this era, because few people remember her and the sages and priests dedicate their lives to worshipping more popular deities."
"Your sister showed me a popular temple dedicated to Princess Yue. I like how simple it is, nothing extravagant, just simple treasures and offerings."
"The twins and Guangli are too young to understand spirituality. It's normal for you, because your Jen Clan are the most faithful family in the Earth Kingdom."
"I'm better for it. The earth sages in Ba Sing Se are shameless, spending coin in pleasure houses and downing in sin, rather than inspiring the faithful and helping the common people. It's a sign the gods have abandoned Ba Sing Se and the monarchy for being corrupted by sin."
"I didn't know you had such strong views."
"I have seen enlightenment, Young Master Qian. I meditated in the Banyan Grove Tree for three days and it's awakened something inside me."
"Mother said you two made up and hashed everything out. It's good because I don't want our relationship being clouded, by the fact of my mother disliking you."
"You don't have to worry about her kicking me out."
"My mother will never be a poor host."
Jen LuXian sighed, then a smile formed between his lips. "You are a ball of interest, Young Master Qian."
"It's why...I get jealous when Heifen spends time with you and I have to look on in the distance. The outsiders will never understand, what my family had to go through to find our new home. Our ancestral home was destroyed and taken from us and we had to find a new one."
"I misjudged you because of your behaviour. I was wrong and I am sorry for it."
"None taken, Young Master Jen."
The earth master saw a smile appear on Qian Shenyang's face and a lightness was there, not the neurosis of jealousy that marred his face, when he saw Jen LuXian and his sister chatting in the courtyard and seeing the koi fish swimming in the ponds. It was only a friendship, Young Master Qian was after because the people he interacts with had little in common with him and someone like Jen LuXian did because their families once lived together, during the Hundred Years War. The man placed his hand on Qian Shenyang's shoulder, as a gesture of forgiveness for assuming wrong. Jen LuXian never wanted to judge people, his mindset was changing from what it was, when he was young because his mother spoiled him, as her only child. He grew up in a society, where judgement of others was the norm and gossiping about the internal affairs of other clans was cultural and it was what high society was about. He was a changed man, but Jen LuXian knew he had a lot to learn and was willing to see where fate took him.
A darkened sunset peered from the window, Jen LuXian took his hand off Qian Shenyang and realised what he did. He and the other young master were no different to each other. They wanted companionship and were alone because of the circumstances of their lives. Jen LuXian was alone, because he focused on enlightenment and travelling to help people, despite his status and how far he has fallen and was not welcome in the Jen Clan's household, because of him leaving the way he did. He found Qian Shenyang pleasant, but there was something missing that would make his heart swell, when talking to someone, maybe it was because Qian Shenyang was not his friend and was almost a stranger to him.
Jen LuXian folded within himself, wondering if forming attachments to people was a bad thing, because his peers threw him away like old scraps. He dreamed of stable companionship with one person, who didn't serve him or was not paid by his family. Jen LuXian's eyes were focused on the peering sunset, beautiful with the firelight yellow in with the orange-pink sky over hill where the Qian family lived, where they got the best view of the city. He took a deep breath out, wondering will this be the last time, Jen LuXian will see such a view from a window because he will move on from the Qian manor, and will explore more of the northeastern region beyond the hills and mountains.
PS: The Keohso Clan is an extant noble house in the Fire Nation, whom married into the royal family. Their symbol is the golden winged peony and it's the national flower of the Fire Nation, which makes General Iroh giving Jen LuXian the flowers more meaningful, it's him bearing his heart to him in his letter and giving him the flowers.
- The Earth Sages are the religious authority of the Earth Kingdom. During the Rise of Kyoshi, the earth sages have abandoned their spiritual duties and roots to insert themselves in political affairs, which devalued their status. Jen LuXian has no regard for them, especially when they have abandoned the gods and spirits to serve their own desires and ambitions.
- Chu is the maiden name of Madam Qian. I wanted to give her a complex backstory to why she was hostile towards Jen LuXian in Chaper Eight and how her hostility is misplaced. I wanted Jen LuXian to learn about his mother from someone, who wasn't going to embelish or whitewash her life memories and tell the truth about her.