Rolling green hills that seemed to stretch for miles. Fields of flowers with just about every colour you could think of. King Koopa's grounds were as beautiful as the Mushroom Kingdom's. Maybe even more. Where you'd expect statues and topiaries to be planted, there was instead diverse greenery that gave the surrounding area its own special kind of grandeur. Plants of all kinds grew everywhere, segmented only by the occasional dirt path and peppered with tall arching trees. Gardens we're the center of attention everywhere; goombas, koopas and people of all kinds we're gathering from and tending to them. Two koopa children were chasing each other around a big tree with red leaves that was bearing bright yellow fruit.

"Come on then. Hop in."

Bowser's voice ripped Luigi out of his almost hypnotic admiration. While he was standing jaw dropped by the door, Koopa had gotten into a car parked nearby. It was huge, shiny, red, lined with black spikes and very, very rusty. The tire rims were black and spikes were sticking out of some of them too, but there were spots where some had clearly broken off. You could tell it used to be intimidating, but time had eaten away at it. It looked like some kid's demolition derby project. Except, y'know, huge. It had no roof, so a good chunk of Bowser was just sticking out the top.

"Well? I know it might be hard to believe, but I don't have all day, Luigi."

Hardly feeling any safer, Luigi tentatively climbed into the passenger seat. Once Bowser was sure he had sat down and was buckled in, he started the car. Its engine made an awfully loud roaring sound and then fell almost silent, reduced to a low humming. They pulled out of the long driveway, passing trees here and there as they went.

It wasn't until they had been on the road for a while and that the castle was well out of sight that Luigi finally voiced his confusion.

"I don't understand."

"Hm?"

"Why aren't you kidnapping me or-or using me for one of your plans? Are you really driving me back?"

Bowser sighed.

"Yes. I'm driving you back. I've already gone way out of my way today. I'm tired."

They drove a little longer. A large lake spanned the countryside for a little, peppered with docks. People were splashing around and fishing.

Luigi's believed impression of Bowser's kingdom was slowly falling by the wayside. It didn't make any sense. Where was the pain? The suffering? The rivers of lava?

Bowser seemed to have read his mind.

"Not what you expected?"

"No." Luigi reluctantly admitted.

A festival of sorts was being held in a large field nearby and as they passed it, Luigi started getting frustrated.

"None of this makes sense! Is this a trick? What are you doing here?"

Bowser scoffed, but refused to take his eyes off the road.

"You're right. None of this makes sense. To you. To anyone who doesn't live here. It makes plenty sense to me though."

Nervous and now somewhat angry, Luigi started shouting. Panic was starting to rise in his chest.

"You aren't going to trick me! I don't know what you're doing here, but you'll regret it when Mario finds out about it!"

But to his surprise, Bowser ignored him completely. He just kept driving.

After a while, he finally spoke up.

"Has it never seemed odd to you how cyclical and repetitive these past few years have been Luigi?"

"W-what do you mean?"

A frustrated huff came from Bowser.

"I know you aren't dumb. If you were Mario, I might believe you, but I know that you know what I mean."

And Luigi knew that he was right. None of the past 10 odd years had really made any sense.

"Do you really think I purposefully go out of my way every month to kidnap some princess? What good does that get to me?"

"The whole evil kidnapping bad guy thing is a complete waste of time and resources! It's why I stopped doing it seriously ages ago." Bowser was angrily waving his hand in the air like he was trying to swat a bug.

Bowser was now doing a poor imitation of Luigi.

"But why Bowser, why do you still take Peach away then?!" He grimaced.

"Because Luigi, it drives money into the economy. Mario goes out, Mario clobbers the bad guy, Mario gets the girl. They plaster his face all over t-shirts and coffee mugs. Make documentaries, movies, books. Bam. Mushroom Kingdom's out of the red for a few years."

"You're lying." But even as he said it, Luigi knew that it wasn't the case.

Sweat had started forming on his forehead, and it felt like icy cold water had begun to pool behind his chest. Bowser's claws were chipping away at his reality. A reality with flaws that he had tried so hard to ignore for so long.

Luigi was gripping the hem of his dress now, distressed.

"Wh-why would she do this? I thought she loved him. And for so many years. A-and their anniversary is coming up and what's going to hap-"

Koopa cut in before Luigi could give himself an aneurysm.

"She does it because she's found a formula. And it works so well that she wouldn't dare risk shaking it up a little."

A group of people on the sidewalk saw them drive by and happily waved. Bowser screwed his face into a smile and kept speaking as he waved back to them.

"You know, I wouldn't be surprised if your brother suspects something at this point, but I think he's too comfortable neck deep in his weird pseudo fame to really care."

"I think when this whole thing gets out," Bowser raised a hand to his mouth, leaned over and pretended to whisper, "and it will, it'll finally give him something real to think through."

"And what about you in all of this? What's in it for you? So that when Mario finally finds out you can steal Peach away?!"

Out of his seat now, Luigi was beet red and wringing his fists at his sides. How could Bowser be so nonchalant about all this? Years of fake kidnappings! Ages of Mario and Peach arguing and keeping him up at night! All because of some homewrecking bastard!

"Woah woah, cowboy. Sit down before you hurt yourself."

Bowser's huge clawed hand forced Luigi back into his seat and held him there for a bit.

"Do you honestly think that a guy like me," he gestured down at himself with his hand, "has any real interest in someone like Peach?"

Luigi didn't say a word. He wouldn't give him the satisfaction.

"I'm in it for the money, just like she is. I get half the spoils. It's a team effort after all, right?"

Bowser chuckled a little, but Luigi could tell by how awkward the silence that followed was that his driver was starting to get uneasy. What a bad attempt at trying to lighten the mood.

It was quiet for a bit. They passed homes, gardens, community centers. The beauty of Bowser's kingdom was not lost on Luigi, but he wouldn't dare comment on it out loud. Not when the owner of it and the source of so many years of turmoil in his life was driving him home like a lost puppy. It was embarrassing.

After what felt like a good thirty minutes of silence, Luigi finally pushed down his rage and decided to pry a little.

"Do you even need the money?" He spoke glumly through the fingers in the hand he was leaning up against.

"Huh?"

"The money? Do you actually need it or is this all just a big game to you?"

Bowser sighed and pinched the bridge of his noise.

"Yes. Luigi. I need the money. This isn't exactly fun for me. Turns out renovating an entire kingdom still recovering from a tyrannical reign costs some dough, crazy, I know."

His interest now piqued, Luigi waited for Bowser to elaborate, but when he didn't, decided against pushing for more info. He could tell Koopa was getting a little agitated.

They drove a little longer, this time passing a soccer tournament in progress and eventually fields full of corn, wheat and beautiful multicoloured flowers.

Bowser looked around and snorted. He seemed to be in a better mood now.

"Y'know, a while ago, there was a certain degree of truth to the whole fire and brimstone thing."

"It's still around in the castles and stuff. You know, tradition. It helps with the whole evil empire look."

Gruff laughter. But then a pensive look.

"When it was all anyone could see though, that made everyone miserable."

Bowser gripped the steering wheel a little tighter, his gaze lost in the horizon.

A big red concrete roadblock had suddenly pulled into view in front of them on the road. A little way beyond, the asphalt abruptly stopped and turned into a dirt path that appeared to be very well trodden. Bowser slowed the car and pulled off to the right into a gravel parking lot. There weren't many other cars parked.

"We have to walk from here."

"Why?"

"No car zone. Lotta daycares and kids around."

After stopping the car, opening the door and disembarking, Bowser reached into his shell and pulled out some clothes and a pair of dusty looking shoes. He handed them over to Luigi, who hadn't gotten out yet.

"Change in the back, it's well hidden. I may be evil, but I'm not about to parade you around in your step sister's clothes in front of my subjects. More than I already have, anyways."

So, Luigi crawled into the back of the car and gladly pulled off the dress and kicked off the high heels that had been tormenting him for hours. After taking off the corset, he took what felt like the first full breath of fresh air he'd had in years. Pulling on the clothes Bowser had handed to him, a simple t-shirt and pants, he considered bringing Peach's along stuff with him, but left them in the back. It's not like she wouldn't be back soon to get them anyway.

When Luigi was all settled, the duo made their way onto the dirt path. As they walked, he saw that Bowser hadn't been kidding. Most of the buildings they were walking past now had large fenced out yards peppered with games, sandboxes and play structures. Crafts, hand prints and paintings of small animals adorned their windows.

They were walking by what looked like a small schoolhouse now. Young kids we're running around on the lawn, jumping and playing. An elderly koopa woman was supervising them, and when she caught sight of Luigi and Bowser, she waved.

"Evening, Candice!" King Koopa called out to her.

"Hello dear!"

"Do you know everybody here?" Said Luigi with surprise.

"Mostly. If they want to be known. I think it's important to know who I'm taking care of."

The path was narrowing a little bit now as they walked past a treeline and into the woods. Luigi noticed that this area was less kept. Roots and stones occasionally pushed up through the ground and they passed a few DANGER: TRIPPING HAZARD signs. The path sometimes vanished for a little bit too, causing the duo to retrace their steps every now and again.

"Why not get this cleaned up?" Luigi asked after their third deviation from the original path.

"Some things just aren't meant to be touched." Bowser whispered calmly, letting his gaze wander lazily through the forest.

Whether it was the tranquility of the area or perhaps the protective covering that the trees offered from prying eyes and ears, Luigi would never know. But then and there, Bowser decided to open up to him, as they continued their slow walk through nature.

"You know, I really did try to keep up with my dad's way of doing things for a while. It just wasn't me."

Bowser crossed his huge hands behind his head and gave Luigi a look.

"Count yourself lucky that you're alive now and not back then. If my dad was the one that caught you, you'd actually need saving."

Luigi didn't want to think about that hypothetical too much.

"How was your dad? Aside from the whole fire and brimstone stuff of course."

Bowser sneered and dismissively waved one of his huge hands.

"I barely knew the guy. Kamek's more of a father than my real dad ever was. My dad was awful to him, even though he basically raised me. And when I hit ruling age, he expected me to start being awful to him too."

Koopa sneered.

"I think that's what got me thinking about things more. About what my dad thought it meant to rule a kingdom. None of it really made sense to me. Fear, fear, fear. All the time. It was exhausting."

He nonchalantly brushed a tree branch out of the way and waited until Luigi was by to let go of it.

"Believe it or not, there was a pretty big gap of time where I wasn't doing any kidnapping. Peach was actually the one who came me."

They came up on some sticks littering the path. As they continued their conversation Bowser stopped and started picking them up and tossing them aside. Luigi followed suit. It only felt polite. Once they were done, they resumed walking.

"The Mushroom Kingdom and my own were in a bit of a financial crisis. I had suspected that Peach was having difficulties, but figured that if that was the case, I'd hear about it through my informants."

He chuckled a bit and clapped his hands together to get rid of the dirt stuck beneath his claws.

"I was very wrong. Because one day, she just showed up right at my door herself. And the rest is history."

Another chuckle, this time accompanied by closed eyes and a bemused headshake.

"Anyway, here it is."

They had arrived at a brightly lit clearing surrounded by trees on all sides. A very rusted and abandoned looking fence stood in the center. Locked away behind it was an old green warp pipe.

"Why's it behind a fence?" Luigi asked.

"Too many accidents with kids messing around it and falling in. Or jumping in on purpose. Turning up in the Mushroom Kingdom is the last thing that one of my younger subjects needs."

"Well, that's not the end of the wor-", but Bowser was already side eyeing Luigi.

"What?"

"Do you think the residents of the Mushroom Kingdom know or care to know the difference between a child goomba and an adult goomba, Luigi?"

"Right. Sorry."

A dark thought presented itself in Luigi's mind.

"Have there been any… any…"

"Accidents? No, we've been very lucky, but there have been some close calls. All the active pipes open to the public that lead out of the kingdom are heavily monitored now. We haven't had any trouble since."

"Alright. That's good."

"Indeed."

It was quiet again for a bit. They both stood listening to the wind softly blowing through the trees. They could hear kids playing around somewhere in the woods off in the distance.

"Listen Luigi, I know how intense Mario can be. I don't know what your plan is in terms of what you've learned today, but I know that if you choose to tell him, they'll be fallout."

Bowser reached into his pocket and pulled out a rusted key. He sighed and ran his claws through his hair with his other hand.

"Please don't be insulted by this, because I do mean it. If you need to get away from home for a bit, my doors are open. You know where to find me."

And with this he handed off the key to Luigi and turned on his heel and left, but not before shouting, "Please put the padlock back up once you're on the other side. The kids around here are too curious for their own good!"

Luigi watched him push his way back through the woods. Before King Koopa was completely out of sight, he saw a few children run up to him and jump onto his shell. The last he saw of Bowser, he was guffawing cheerfully as he ran forwards, playfully trying to shake his attackers off.

After managing to unlock and pry open the rusted padlock, Luigi wrenched the fence gate free from all the overgrown grass that had tangled its way through the links, stepped inside, and made sure to close and lock it behind him.

The forbidden pipe was still green in some spots, but most of the paint had peeled off to reveal the black metal underneath. The grass that had taken over the fence was beginning to crawl its way up the sides of the pipe as well. This entrance to the Mushroom Kingdom clearly hadn't been used in a while. Maybe that was a good thing.

Taking one last look at his surroundings, Luigi allowed himself to say out loud what he hadn't wanted to around Bowser.

"This place really doesn't seem all that bad."

He heaved himself up into the pipe and fell into darkness.

Chapter 4 Notes

Hey everybody. A promise is a promise. No matter how long it takes I'll finish this up one way or another! I ended up merging two chapters together for this one. Originally, the half where Bowser and Luigi are riding around in the car was going to be chapter 4 and named Going for a Ride, and the half where they get out and walk to the pipe was going to be chapter 5 and end up with the name I gave the final chapter 4 instead.

The next chapter will be the final one and most likely won't be very long. I'm excited to bring this to a close soon, it was a fun little experiment.

If you're a returning reader, thanks for sticking around. If you're a new reader, thanks for giving my story a chance!