Hi Thirst! Hi Nadia! Hi everybody who reads and reviews!
Buon Giorno to RosannaRoa: It is angsty, isn't it? Ana in the trilogy had asked Christian many times to give her space so she could think and figure things out, but he rightfully didn't, as he knew that even a hint of clarity would've had her sprinting away from him as fast as her legs could carry her.
The possibility of Ana finding a normal man forms the basis for his extreme paranoia and groundless jealousy. Kate doesn't treat Christian like shit; she simply holds up a mirror. Not her fault if he sees shit in it. Just proves his eyes work.
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Reds77: Yes. Kate for the flawless victory. I'm glad you're beginning to like her. Though Christian is stressing and recognizing what a foolish asshat he has been, I assure you he will revert and provide at least some token pushback. His life has been a shitshow until he met Ana, yet he still managed to fuck over his first breath of fresh air in over two decades. He's the master of a minuscule universe. His subs always had too much access to his apartment. And there were fifteen of them.
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JG: In case FFnet fails at getting my message to you, I would never make things easy for Christian behind all that he has done. Years later, I still want to turn back time and break down the fourth wall to shake the everloving crap out of him for kicking Ana out of her own apartment and bathing Leila, leaving us forever wondering if she dropped the soap.
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Krooela: I'm loving Kate in this, too. I usually don't. Perhaps because we never get to see enough of her. Letting her put CG on blast is giving me life and restoring love for FSoG fanfic that I haven't experienced for a long while. No Vaseline! Onto Savannah...and Momma Bear.
Inspiration Song(s): Buckcherry - A Child Called "It"
CPoV
Back on the plane to Savannah. I had no other choice. If I couldn't find answers here, I wouldn't know where to begin. Because just as Welch and Barney intimated, Anastasia was a ghost and when it came right down to it, I knew fuck all about her. I knew nothing of her hopes, dreams, or ambitions, other than to become an editor. I had asked her what she liked to try to get some sort of baseline and she'd answered a succinct: books.
Thanks to my high-handed ways and inability to make small talk, I didn't know her favorite food, color, music, or actor. Hell, I didn't even know her favorite sexual position. Thanks to my stalwart avoidance of ordinary relationship trappings, we'd never even played twenty questions which meant I knew far less about her than I should have. The photographer knew more about her than I did and had managed to capture many different aspects of Ana than I had experienced.
We landed. I'd made no reservations. I wouldn't be staying long enough to need a room. As soon as I spoke to Mrs. Adams, we'd be back in the air.
I didn't even know if she would be home. I was counting on the element of surprise to throw her off the scent. The Adams traveled quite extensively and, just like Ray, they might have been out of town. Looks like I'd lucked out and the couple was home for the evening. I knocked on the door.
The door was opened by a smiling Carla Adams, obviously surprised to see me. She looked around me excitedly as if searching for Anastasia. Trust me, lady, I'm looking for her, too. I tried to follow her chitchat but I had never been particularly good at that, so I soon got down to brass tacks.
Asking if she had seen Ana lately. Or heard from her. But she had not, and she looked worried. Suddenly, I realized that Ana doesn't reach out to Carla much. She never mentioned talking to her, communicating with her, or sharing all those little details of her life; unlike Mia who texted or talked to our mother at least five times a day. And she lives with her at home.
Carla was thirsty for every bit of information, no matter how minute or ordinary. I told her that we had had a small tiff and that she had left me without a note, letter, call, or text. She didn't seem too surprised. She only looked at me somewhat sadly and asked what I had done.
Wasn't it awfully strange that everyone automatically assumed, quite correctly, that I was the person who caused the problem? I told her that there had been an issue with an ex and that the person had broken into her apartment and confronted her.
I had sent Ana away to handle the situation because the person was obviously having some type of mental episode.
Carla looked at me strangely. "You kicked her out of her own apartment? Well, how's the young woman?" she asked finally.
Much better than she deserved, I thought darkly. Flynn had advised me not to stop payment to the rehabilitation center. At least there, he'd be able to keep an eye on her. The verdict was still out on that, but I'd use my time wisely to ruin her life on the outside. Lining up some of my ducks.
"I found out recently that she had been stalking Ana for even longer than I thought. There was camera footage of her entering her apartment on several different occasions."
Carla looked at me aghast. "Are you sure Ana's all right? Surely you saw her afterward?"
"Yes, eventually I arrived home and she met me there an hour later. She was quite upset but I explained to her satisfaction, at least I thought that I had, that I felt responsible for this person's behavior."
"Surely that couldn't have been all she said because Ana is a very reasonable, sensible, and compassionate person. It would take a lot to make her upset enough to leave."
"Perhaps I wasn't clear enough. The woman entered Ana's apartment and when Ana saw her, she held her at gunpoint."
At that point, Carla stared at me in patent disbelief.
"And you kicked her out of her own apartment after she had experienced such a harrowing ordeal? Why didn't you call the police?" she shouted. Then, her shoulders slumped in something approaching defeat. "Oh, I understand. You didn't want the exposure. To you, that was more important than my daughter's life or peace of mind."
She looked at me like I was a piece of shit on a garbageman's shoe and honestly I felt like one. Everyone who had heard the story wanted to know why I hadn't contacted the authorities. I should have contacted them the first time she had shown up in Escala.
And now I suspect that she had been there many times before and also when I was inside I knew it was not my imagination. She had also shown up when Ana and I were together in Escala. Even Kate didn't know that much. Has she known, she might have run me out of town on a rail.
Needless to say, I figured I had torn my ass with Mrs. Adams. I had nothing to lose by telling the truth. That was the only currency buying me anything these days. I had never run into so many people who gave so few shits about my money. It was refreshingly frustrating, especially as all those people were closely associated with Ana.
Yeah, Grey. You money's no good here, either.
"After I sent Ana away, I calmed her down and took care of her so I could have her sent to a hospital for the mentally ill."
"How exactly did you take care of her?" she asked curiously.
"I bathed her and gave her a change of clothes," I admitted. I couldn't have shocked Mrs. Adams more had I tried.
"You did what? That's your idea of calming someone down? How disrespectful to my daughter! Her victim! I could just imagine how Ana felt after that. Why didn't you take the woman away with you instead of kicking Ana out? Don't you care about my daughter at all and how she felt? This woman violated her space and menaced her. I guess it wouldn't matter to you, but in our plebeian world, we call the police. At least when we can," she said lowly. "You have so much money and power and you couldn't manage that."
"Ana and a friend sat across the street while I took care of the young lady and afterward when we were home."
"Home," she mused.
"Yes, I'd asked Ana to move in with me earlier that day."
"And she agreed?" Carla asked skeptically.
"Well yes, she intended to move that's why I directed her to go back to my apartment while I was in hers."
"Ana thought that this other woman would be much better for me. She said she felt some connection and I assured her that it was far from the case, and that Leila was just simply very sick."
"She's not the only sick person if you thought Ana was going to be satisfied with that paltry explanation. I want a better explanation than this."
"She knows I'm all and that I was fully committed to her. I asked her to marry me for Christ's sake."
"You've known each other for five minutes! Nobody gets married that fast unless they're pregnant or drunk in Vegas! You don't know each other well enough for marriage. Because if you did, there's no way the scene you've described could have ever occurred. It seems as if you're determined to give her a trial by fire to test her affections. Ana's the most loyal person you'll ever meet and it seems like you just shit on my child. And now you're here shocked and devastated that she left. Why? Now you're chasing her down again! Wasn't the last time enough?"
"I'm here because I've traveled every other possible avenue that I know. I've run down everyone, every friend, hell even coworkers, or anyone who could give me information. I've tried Kate, Ethan, Jose, and Ray. Did you know she quit her job?"
"I don't know anything about her job, Mr. Grey. All I know is that she was looking for a new one and I bought her some businesswear when she visited. Why would she quit her job?"
"It turns out that after she got the job, she discovered that I had purchased it. So when she left me she decided to leave the job, too."
"Boy, you don't do anything small, do you? Didn't it once occur to you how uncomfortable Anastasia would be working for her boyfriend? There are three things that you missed in this situation. One, you're the boss so nobody's going to fuck with you. Two, you're a man which means for the most part no one's going to fuck with you. And finally, three, Anastasia is a young woman, fresh out of college, and pretty new to the workforce."
Ana's mother looked at me with extreme pity.
"What did you think was going to happen when people realized she was dating you and that you suddenly became the owner of the publishing house? You have painted a target on her so large, I'm surprised she doesn't wake up in the morning with a dart embedded in her forehead. You may as well have given her a "kick me" sign to wear. Or a placard reading "Will fuck for work". People aren't kind to women in the workplace. Next time she gets a job, could you please do her a favor and not buy it?"
She looked at me so disdainfully that I felt about an inch tall. Truthfully, I had never considered it from that perspective. The first and last time I had worked for anyone other than myself I had been sent to clear rubble for Elena. And I had been sexually harassed on the job.
"Do you at least have any hints at what triggered this?"
"Kate said something about a blanket. And then she simply stopped talking to me and kicked me out of the apartment."
"What blanket?" she asked suspiciously.
"Well after everything was said and done I realized that Leila didn't have a coat or shoes, so I grabbed Ana's blanket wrapped her up in it and—"
And at that point Carla, calm until now, suddenly gave a hoarse cry, before she keeled over in a dead faint, hitting the ground with a thud. I couldn't get to her in time. Mr. Adams, hearing the sound, came running.
"What happened?" he exclaimed.
"I don't know we were talking and suddenly she just fell over."
He carefully picked her up taking her to the couch where he laid her down and elevated her feet he was still hobbling a little from his sports team accident. He went to the wet bar to retrieve some ice, water and a clean bar towel. He swiftly assembled a cold compress and placed it on her head. She eventually regained consciousness and they whispered words of endearment to each other, I imagined. When their voices got higher, I still could not understand what they were saying. Mr. Adams looked at me calculatingly as if trying to figure out just what the hell I was doing there. This was the first time I had met him, and I knew I was making a terrible impression.
When Carla came to, she stared directly at me and suddenly I understood exactly where Ana got it from. I'd seen that keen, penetrating stare before.
"Robert," she said, "could you give us the room? I think it's time."
He looked at me then back at her, before nodding and telling her he would be in the den watching the game. After assuring himself that his wife was alright, Adams left the room. Carla busied herself at the wet bar, returning with two tumblers and a bottle of amber liquid.
This conversation required the heavy shit. She set the glasses on the table, pouring a substantial amount into each.
"Ana has not told you much about her life growing up, has she?" she probed.
"No, not really. I know she grew up in Montesano, and she really enjoys spending time in the country with Ray."
"Yeah, that's my Anastasia, my country girl. She always did like nature. She's very down-to-earth. Not like me. Flighty, irresponsible, and selfish."
Even after the earlier episode when she fainted, she still seemed shaken. The Dutch courage she just placed in front of us didn't seem to offer her much comfort.
"You probably wouldn't know it, but Anastasia had been a very confident and assertive child, before my disaster of a third marriage. Stephen Morton. He was my husband, and oh what a mistake he was. Anastasia was certainly never impressed by him. But I needed, wanted, someone to make me feel alive. I had always been the type of woman who needed a man to validate her. Raymond was far too serious and focused for me," she admitted ruefully.
"I wanted to have fun and see the world, and Montesano just didn't do it for me. Steve was just the excitement I craved. I met him in a casino in Vegas. I'd taken one of those discount tour bus trips people buy from the local supermarket. And he didn't mind that I had a child, and I had no intention of leaving my daughter behind despite her protests. She didn't want to change schools or leave Ray, who she loved like a father. He loved her just as much, if not more. I had been jealous of that too, you see. I've always been selfish and vain. Know thyself, right?" she laughed wryly, taking another deep swallow of her drink.
"Steve was the full package: handsome, wealthy, well-traveled. He told me all the right things. That I was wasted on Montesano. And Ray who didn't appreciate me. He was clever and fun. And I deserved that. He made me laugh. He had a wicked sense of humor. It took me almost a year to realize he was just wicked. And cruel. Anastasia had seen through him from the beginning. She desperately desired to remain with Ray, but the more she pushed, the more I pulled, and I had full custody, so I won," she whispered. "What the fuck was I thinking?"
I suppose she had also experienced the extreme bitterness of hollow victory.
"At fifteen years old, she was already a better woman than I was. It only took once for him to hit her before she got the hell out of Dodge. It took me a further six months and a bit of facial reconstruction to see the light."
"That didn't show up on her background check," I uttered, shocked.
"You're wealthy, yes? I'm sure there's an awful lot about you that would never show up on anyone's background check," she chuckled. "I bet someone is working behind the scenes right now. And if you decided that we'd never met, your tracks would be scrubbed so clean behind you that no-one would know your plane had ever touched down in Georgia."
I didn't reply. We both knew it was true. Ros believes I'm in New York. I nodded.
"A lot of crap would never show up on Anastasia's background check. Steve managed to pull the wool over my eyes while he terrorized my baby on a daily basis. He was always coming up with reasons to punish her. In his view, she could never do anything right. She cooked, she cleaned. He'd always stressed the importance of instilling responsibility and other values in children. He had a housekeeper, but he was always complaining that Ana was messy and that she needed discipline. One day, I caught the bastard pulling clothes out of her hamper to toss on the floor."
"And you didn't leave him?" I asked, stunned. This was beyond pushing the limits of a submissive.
"You would've had to know him. He could charm the birds out of the trees. By the end of our discussion, he had me believing he had done it to make Ana talk to him because she was always so standoffish."
No, she rightfully knew he was full of shit and was trying to deny him fuel and opportunity. Not that it would work for someone like that. I chased after Anastasia like a madman with absolutely no flirtation from her.
"He ran hot and cold. I could hardly tell if I was coming or going, but my daughter had his number. She was always respectful, but Steve liked to have everyone's full attention. He wanted her to show more enthusiasm. And Ana has never been anyone's fangirl. She just wanted to come home, do her chores and her homework, then read. One day, I came home from shopping and Stephen had a small bonfire going in the backyard. He was burning all the books Ana had brought with her from Montesano, and she was just standing there, watching. He had made her watch," she mumbled. "I should've left him then. The way he treated both of us was no way to live. But on top of being vain and selfish, I was also stubborn. I could fix him. I definitely didn't want to face Ray after the deplorable manner in which I had treated him."
I stared at her, looking at her dumbly. I was sure there was more. I didn't have long to wait.
"You know what was funny? The whole time, Anastasia looked on, and she never cried. She just watched her books burn until the fire went out. Then she asked us what time we wanted dinner on the table. I was watching her, but I should've been watching him. He'd pulled that shit to break her. I don't know. Perhaps he got off on it, but Ana wouldn't give him the satisfaction."
No, she wouldn't. She'd keep that shit inside until the pain built to an impossible height and then...
Out of sheer curiosity, I ask, "How many books did she have?"
"Eight books. It was all she could fit in her bag. I didn't allow her to take much. Stephen had warned me to pack light," she replied. "Anastasia dithered over what to bring, only packing her favorites. I didn't realize that his determination to isolate her from other people extended to the written word. He, however, understood books were her escape and he was closing all the routes."
"By this time, he'd taken to knocking me around. I was terrified. I suggested that I send her back home to Montesano, so things would improve and he snapped. He said we were a family. That it was important for families to stick together. As if my infidelity and subsequent divorce hadn't broken up Ana's family. And then things escalated," she continued, as tears rolled down her cheeks.
How bad could they have gotten? He had already destroyed Anastasia's favorite things and routinely beaten his wife. I know he hadn't raped Ana. But he controlled every aspect of their lives. I began to understand why she had resisted me. How quickly she had clued into the fact that I was a control freak. Despite her reservations, she had given me her trust, and I had shit all over it.
"She had no friends. No activities. Just school and home. It was like a prison. He even decided what she wore. He didn't want her to show too much skin. Or wear anything form-fitting. If I thought she had been an outcast in Montesano, it was nothing compared to Texas. He put her on a diet. You've seen Ana. She has never been overweight a day in her life."
"He put a scale in the kitchen. She had to weigh herself twice a day and put the results in her diet diary. He even controlled what she ate for lunch at school. Ana didn't complain, but when she was sure he wasn't looking, she would glare at me, like you are right now."
I attempted to tone down my forbidding gaze, but it was no good. She stood up and paced a little as if she was trying to make a decision. Finally, she must have worked up the nerve to tell me what caused their relationship's utter collapse.
"No matter what she did or didn't do, he wasn't happy. One night, he told her to make chicken for dinner, but the chicken was frozen solid, as he'd had me thaw the steak the night before. Still, Ana persevered and thawed the chicken as quickly as she could. It was beautiful. Delicious. And she didn't eat one bite of it. Because after she served him and me our portions, he instructed her to be seated. And we ate. Right in front of her. He told us all about his day. It was the longest meal we'd ever had. Then he threw away the leftovers."
E/N: The next full-length story I'll be releasing from the vault will be either Watermark or Guardian. If you like angst, drama, timeless romance, and second chances, I think these fanfiction novels will be for you. If you leave me reviews on FFnet and belong to FB, please drop your handle in your review. If you leave feedback, I may reply in an author's note.
Thank you for reading.
Nichole Stewart FB