This chapter is based on Sorry by Halsey
I've missed your calls for months, it seems
Don't realize how mean I can be
'Cause I can sometimes treat the people
That I love like jewelry
'Cause I can change my mind each day
I didn't mean to try you on
But I still know your birthday
And your mother's favorite song
So I'm sorry to my unknown lover
Sorry that I can't believe
That anybody ever really
Starts to fall in love with me
Sorry to my unknown lover
Sorry I could be so blind
Didn't mean to leave you
And all of the things that we had behind
Ooh, ooh, ooh
Sam watches carefully while the brunette in front of him chews her omelet slowly, savoring every piece of it with an enigmatic expression.
"So?" He asks expectantly when she finishes.
"It's getting better. It's not like Mrs Gunnerson's but it's edible" Fallon shrugs, putting her fork down on the plate.
"Thank God. It means I finally got it right with the chef" he groans, taking a bite of his own omelet "And we could be eating Mrs Gunnerson's food as we speak but you decided it would be a good idea to have breakfast at the hotel"
She sighs, pouting. "I know. But I just can't stand to see Liam's vacant seat at the table for another day. It makes me lose my appetite"
"So we are talking about Liam again? Because he's becoming our daily topic" Sam complains, leaning back.
"Yes, Sam. We are talking about Liam again. Especially since nothing has changed in our situation and I'm not having much improvement in my antics to show him I've changed and how invested I am in our marriage. And I'm on a deadline here, he's visiting his half brother in California in a few days, which means I have to act faster" she complains, using her fork to toy with her food.
He frowns. "I thought he only had a sister"
"He does. Lucy. She hates Laura as much as I do which makes her a wonderful person but maybe not so wonderful when she finds out about what I did to her brother" she rolls her eyes " But do you remember Connor? The one time I had to activate my maternal instincts and almost got a child killed?"
"Right. The son that was actually Liam's half brother"
"Yes, that one" she nods.
"How long he's staying out?"
She shrugs. "He didn't give me the exact number. Maybe two or three weeks. Apparently Connor has been asking about him"
"That's cute. Liam trying to have a relationship with him. So his relationship with Connor's mother is good now, since she's letting him visit"
"I don't think she should have much of a choice considering what she did in the past" Fallon rolls her eyes and takes a sip of her now warm coffee. "You don't think she still has feelings for Liam, right?" She stops to face the man in front of her.
Sam frowns. "And how am I supposed to know that? I never had any contact with the woman"
"I don't know. You were the one that brought her up" Fallon exclaims, her coffee now forgotten.
He exhales deeply before facing her. "You, Miss Carrington are in need of big shot of self steam. This insecure behavior does not suit you at all" he points it out and she huffs.
"Yeah, I know that. I don't like this new Fallon either" she pouts.
Sam gets distracted checking his phone that just buzzed and Fallon gets annoyed.
"Why do I get the feeling that my pathetic love life is not being interesting enough to keep your attention on me?"
"Sorry" he apologizes, typing "I met someone after you fired your physical therapist. We've been texting for a few days now and things are looking good for me" He sings with a smug expression.
"Then I wish you good luck, something I'm clearly not having with my husband" she mutters and watches Sam smile at whatever he's reading at his phone. "Don't you have any advice to give to me? Since you seem to be doing so good?"
"My, my... how the world had changed. You want me to tell you what to do?" Sam mocks
"Very funny" she replies sarcastic and Sam lifts his mimosa glass to toast to it. "I'm kind of desperate here. So what tricks are you using with this guy?"
He shrugs. "It's not a big deal. He seems a little mysterious so I'm just trying to play his game. And I'm playing hard to get to make things more interesting. I waited a whole day to reply to his messages and rescheduled our second date, you know, using the absence makes the heart grow fonder tactic"
She shakes her head. "Oh no. I can't use that because it was exactly absence that made us grow apart"
Sam tilts his head, watching her. "Fallon, I think you're just putting too much energy in this. I can literally see smoke coming out of your head, destroying that pretty hair of yours. Maybe you just need to take a step back. Let things happen naturally" he suggests.
"I don't have time for 'naturally' Sam" she yells, attacking attention from other people and Sam rolls his at eyes at her dramatics. "I'm running against time. As far as I'm concerned, Liam might be calling his lawyers right now and have the divorce papers ready by the time he's back in Atlanta. Do you have any idea what I'm dealing with here?"
"Yes, I do" he nods, leaning closer to her so his staff wouldn't hear their discussion "Did you forget my first trip to Paris? The one we had to track down Steven and I begged him to not get a divorce? Because this is the reason why we are having breakfast at my hotel"
"Sorry" she tells him embarrassed to make him bring Paris back. "It's okay. I just can't make myself go there again so I have to be creative for my next vacation"
"Well, since you're good about it" he huffs and Fallon chooses to ignore that "You could really help me, Sam. Now that you said, you are the perfect person to do it. You're basically Liam" she points out and he almost chokes on his drink.
"Oh my God, Fallon. Didn't you just hear what I said?"
"I did" she nods with a smile forming on her face "Again, that's why you're perfect for it. Just hear me out, okay? You and Liam are almost friends now so you know how he thinks. And Steven was completely unavailable for you at the beginning and then, he cheated on you with some guy. And we can take the 'addiction' out of the equation. But the essence is the same"
"I don't know. For some people, working has the same effect as drugs" he contemplates.
"I'm not a workaholic" she defends herself, her tone louder.
"I bet Liam and a lot of psychiatrists wouldn't agree with you" he mumbles through his teeth "Maybe you should go to Crystal for advice, after all she forgave Blake and her marriage is still intact. Not like mine as you can see"
"I'm asking you" she insists giving him a sweet look that didn't match her wicked smile.
"Fallon -" his sentence gets interrupted by the brunette, slapping the table hard, right next to his hand making him jump in his seat.
"Sam. Sammy" she tries again, this time squeezing his hand to try another approach. "Can't you see how desperate I am? I love him, I really do. And I messed up, big time. And even though he agreed to give me a second chance, I can feel him slipping through my hands every time we are apart or together. I really want my marriage to work and show him that things will be different but I guess words won't be enough this time. So please, if you have any idea on how to help me, please, please, tell me" Fallon begs.
Sam sighs, deciding to give in, never seeing his friend desolate like that. "I don't know what you want me to say, Fallon"
"Anything, Sam. I'll take anything. Literally, whatever comes out of your mouth, I'll do" He stops for a minute, pondering his words.
"Look, I'm not an expert in this but I might have something for you" he starts and she leans forward, interested "I've read somewhere online that there are like five languages of love, you know, ways to show someone you love them. I think the first is acts of service, second is words of affirmation, third is giving and receiving gifts, forth is quality time and fifth, physical touch. If I had to guess, mine is the third one considering how I love expensive things, giving or receiving them, probably because I didn't have much growing up. Yours is physical touch, considering you just use sex for everything in your life and that's exactly how you ended up in this situation"
"Wow, Sam. Very subtle of you. Just remind me again, which side are you on? Because this pep talk is not doing it for me" she gestures between them, losing her patience.
He continues like she hasn't said a thing. "And Liam's I supposed is quality time. He likes to be near you, doing things with you by his side. And you just said that absence is what caused you two problems in the beginning"
"Among other things, yes" she mumbles
"So there it is, the answer you were looking for. Just be there for him, show him that you enjoy his presence just like he enjoys yours"
"But Liam and I were raised, basically in the same environment, raised by nannies, lot of money and we only had our own siblings to rely on. Why his language is different than mine?" She asks frowning and Sam huffs.
"I don't know, Fallon. I'm not a shrink" he sighs, rubbing his forehead "You asked me for an advice and I just gave you one. So do what I just said because the last time you and Liam were separated, I almost ended up in jail for breaking in dressed as the florist guy, while you sang for him through a phone call"
"Oh my God, Sam, I was not myself, okay?" She exclaims frustrated. "You say that like your usual self is so much better than that"
Fallon knocks three times in a row on the wooden door and cracks a smile when she hears noise on the other side.
The door opens to reveal a confused Liam. "Fallon? Did we agree on anything for today?"
He looked sleepy, still wearing his sweatpants and no shirt on, and Fallon wonders if she interrupted his sleep. But right now, she doesn't care if she did, after all, she had a goal to achieve.
"No, we didn't" she sings cheerful and he frowns "But I was just thinking, wondering how long it has been since we did something together, so I came up with a solution"
She gestures to her pink gym clothes, while turning around to give him a full look. She was a vision in pink, her top and jacket matching her leggings and sneakers.
"What is this, Fallon?" he asks amused, crossing his arms.
"This, is my attempt to spend some time with you. I cleared my schedule for today and I know how you love to start your day with some exercise so I thought I could work out with you" she suggests with a smile and he laughs.
"Are you feeling alright? Because the Fallon Carrington I know hates exercise"
"She does, yes" Fallon nods, taking a step closer to him "But she can also make a sacrifice if it means spend more time with her husband"
"And you think this is a good idea?" he eyes the small distance between them.
"I do" she caress his wrist, coming closer so their faces are almost touching "You told me you were going away for a few days and we didn't have much time together in these past weeks. I just want to have as much time with you as I can until you have to leave again" she pouts and he ponders for some seconds before closing his eyes, nodding.
"Fine, let's do it" he concedes and she nearly shouts.
"Great. So get your things cause we're hitting the gym as soon as you are ready"
"Actually" he starts, taking a step back "I changed my routine a little"
She frowns. "So no gym? That's good because even though I was ready for it, I was not in the mood to get all sweaty. Yoga is so much better, right?" she says relieved.
"I now like to initiate my daily activities with a run in the park then, I move to the gym. I think the contact with the nature helps me clear my head for the day" he explains watching her reaction.
And the smile on her face is gone now. "Please, tell me you're not serious"
"Unfortunately, I am" he chuckles "But don't worry, you can skip the park and we meet in the gym in two or three hours?" he suggests, checking his phone.
"No!" she yells and he looks up "I'm going with you. The extra exercise will help me with my wound too. My physical therapist would love that" she gestures to the scar, covered by her pink pants but Liam can still see the shadow of it.
"Are you sure?" he asks skeptic but she nods with a convincing smile.
"Yes. Now go get ready " she rushes him with her hand and mutters when he goes back inside to change "And may God helps us all"
And after an hour running around the park, Fallon decided she hates trees. Actually, she hates green. She despises it. Everything.
Her plan was not going how she expected. 'Clear his head' meant a running with no talking involved, meaning she barely exchanged a word with Liam during their exercise.
She was frustrated, sweaty and her wound was starting to bother her, more than Fallon would like to admit.
When Liam finally slows his steps, she actually thanks the heavens for whatever it made him want to stop.
He uses some bench next to them to start stretching and Fallon plasters a fake smile, hiding her annoyed face behind it, getting closer to him.
"Wow, it's been so long since I've worked out as much as today" she starts excited and breathless, trying to mask how she was hating everything.
"Yeah, it's really nice to start my day like this" he nods, turning to her "The nature helps to lower our stress levels"
"Oh yeah, I already feel less stressed" she replies with a smile, sure she had convinced.
He chuckles, shaking his head. "I've always wondered how you can be such a horrible liar sometimes"
She frowns, her heart beating faster after being caught in her lies. "I don't know what you're talking about"
"I can see you're not enjoying this. At all" he laughs and she looks away "I know how you hate all of this. The nature, running, get sweat on your body. This is the Fallon I married, not this version you're trying to be right now"
"That's not true, at least not the last part. You know I'm not opposed to sweat, not in certain activities" she teases and he huffs.
"And I know you're in pain. I bet your wound is bothering you at this moment, considering how you keep holding your belly" he says eyeing her right hand, which was indeed pressing her scar, hoping the pain would go away.
She nods. "I admit I thought this would be less painless than it was but it's nothing I can't handle"
He takes a step closer to her, replacing her hand by his. Liam lowers her leggings enough to see where Eva shot her, the scar still red, and he brushes with his thumb lightly. Fallon sees the way his eyes gets sadder and she stops his movements, even though she was enjoying his touch.
"Hey, I'm fine" she soothes him, watching him take a step back.
"No, you're not. And you shouldn't be doing this when you're clearly not completely healed" he states, resting his hands on his hip "So care to explain why you are here, in pain, and not in your office?"
"I've told you, I wanted to spend some time with you"
He snorts. "And is there a reason why we couldn't do this in some place quiet? Over lunch, maybe? So you wouldn't be in pain right now"
"I just wanted to do something you like, engage with your hobbies, you know? I thought you would like that, to stay in your universe"
"Fallon, you don't need to run a marathon so you can be closer to me" He starts sympathetic, taking one of her hands "We never did that before and we always managed to make things work" She knows how condescending he is at the moment.
He always showed up at her office, bringing her lunch or forcing her to go out so she could get some vitamin D.
He was always the one making an effort to be there for her, while Fallon couldn't remember the last time she did that for him.
She leans forward, deciding not to speak her thoughts out loud. "I wanted to show you how much I enjoy your presence, even though I have to feel my lungs burning while doing it"
He laughs, rubbing his thumb on the back of her hand. "I get that part, but again, you don't have to do this"
"I know, but I like working out too" she lies again.
"Oh, that's a good thing because I still wanted to hit the gym before lunch" he says testing her and has to hold his laugh when her blue eyes get bigger.
"Really? Because I thought we could do some yoga, or something that doesn't involve me feeling like I might faint at any minute. Or throw up"
He laughs loud this time and she huffs, noticing how he was playing her. "That was good" she gives in, letting go of him "Didn't know you were considering becoming a comedian or you liked torturing your wife
"I'm sorry, but your face was priceless" he points his head to the exit "And you can come to yoga tomorrow, before my flight. Now, how about we do some light activity? One that doesn't put you pain again, maybe lunch?" he suggests walking slowly so she can follow.
"I would like that very much, thank you" she says appreciating his change of plans. They keep quiet for a few minutes until Fallon sees a
little boy running on the corner of her right eye and remembers her other plan for today. "So, did you buy a ticket for California or you're using your family's jet?" She asks casually, still watching the kid while walking next to him.
"My mom said I could borrow it for tomorrow, so I'm taking the jet. Why?"
She brushes her left shoulder on his. "Do you think you could squeeze me in your little trip?"
He stops moving and shifts to stand in front of her, frowning. "You want to go to California? With me?"
She nods. "I thought I had made myself clear seconds ago" "But why? Do you have business there?"
"No, silly" she taps his chest playfully bit his expression doesn't change "You're going to California because of Connor, so am I. I miss the kid" she shrugs.
"Fallon, you didn't like Connor. Or Heidi"
"That's not true" she protests, crossing her arms "I mean, the Heidi part might be true but you're wrong about Connor. I was starting to like him. I even helped you fight for custody when Heidi threatened to take him away from you. I admit the idea of becoming a step mother was not very appealing to me but he was changing my mind about it"
"Sorry" he apologizes rubbing his forehead "I'm not being fair to you right now"
"No, you aren't" she agrees.
"But still, you never even mentioned him again. In fact, I made a comment a few months ago about visiting him and when I asked if you wanted to come along, you said no, remember?"
She doesn't remember.
He probably made the invitation when she was to focused on something that wasn't him and dismissed the idea with her hand, like she always does when she's not interested.
Embarrassed, she lifts her chin higher, not showing it. "I was busy, but now I'm free to go. I told you I cleared my schedule to be with you"
"Yes, for a day. But I'm planning to stay two weeks there and you can't walk away from Fallon Unlimited for so long" he counters.
At that exact second, Fallon remembers their fight on her bedroom. Not the one she realized how she had destroyed her relationship but the first one she saw Liam mad.
He was not her patient and loving husband. He was pissed and raised his voice at her, saying how everything seemed to be more important than him.
It was the first night they slept in separate bedrooms ever since they got married, while being in the same house together. And sleep might be a strong word considering she didn't do any that night. She realized he was serious and wouldn't be easy to forgive like he was in the past, so she spent her night trying to imagine how she could fix her marriage.
And now, months after that night, she still doesn't have an answer.
But she was trying. That's why she was willing to fight to another state with him, even if it meant to stay away from her company for fourteen days.
Fallon leans forward, resting her hands on his shoulders. "I know two weeks is a long time, but I can back away from work for a few days. And it might be good for us, to stay away from Atlanta and our problems" she speaks optimistic and he sighs.
"I think I get what is happening here"
"There's nothing happening here" she gets defensive "I'm just trying to spend some time with my husband while visiting his half brother in an amazing city"
"Fallon"
"What?" She blurts out, losing her patience. She removes her hands from his shoulders, taking them to her hair to tight her ponytail.
"Why this sudden need to be with me in every step I take?"
Getting caught for the second time that day makes her give up the rest of her calm. "I'm just trying, Liam" she yells.
His expression gets softer and she continues.
"I spent every single second of my day thinking about you and our marriage and how can I fix it, and what we're doing is clearly not taking us anywhere. So Sam gave me this idea, of being present, being with you. That's why I submitted to a running in the park and a trip to another state. Because I'm just trying to show you how much I love you and how I want our marriage back" she whines in the end and her eyes start watering a little.
Seeing her distress makes Liam drops his facade, realizing what was really bothering her.
He lays his hands on her hip, slowly running circles on the skin free of fabric. "I know this won't calm your heart but I'm gonna say it anyway. I love you, Fallon. And I know how you love me too. And I can see you're committed to our marriage, you don't need to run twenty miles to prove it me, okay?" She nods, looking down and holding her tongue. "I appreciate your company but you don't need to do sacrifices for me"
"Couples do sacrifices all the time so they can make their relationship work. So I heard" she mutters.
"Rest assured you don't need to make this kind of sacrifice again" he chuckles and she follows "And you don't need to come to California with me. I know you don't like it"
"It's so hot" she mumbles nodding with a pout.
"If you want, you can FaceTime with Connor. No need to travel for that. Or meet Heidi again, I'm aware you don't like her and I don't think she's fond of you either considering you got her arrested"
"Not my finest moment" she intervenes but he shakes his head.
"I disagree. I've never loved you more than when you broke the law for me" They laugh and she knows their dense conversation is over.
"There's no need for you to be this insecure about me or our relationship. I fell in love with Fallon Carrington, not a version of her" he brushes a kiss on her cheek and she loves the feeling of his beard scratching her skin "And if you desire, I can call you everyday and tell you about my day" she makes a grimace and he chuckles "In every two days?"
"We have a deal, Mr Ridley. And I want texts included too"
"Fine by me. Now can we finally move to that lunch? I'm starving"
They walk out of the park, holding hands and even though Fallon didn't accomplish anything she had planned for today, she moves happily, feeling like she just signed the biggest contract of her life.
Liam kept his part of the promise, and if anyone asks, Fallon will never admit how anxious she got, waiting for her phone to ring or how she lost her patience and started calling him whenever he didn't, following her orders.
It felt like she was a teenager again, even though they were married to each other. But who cares? They never did things in a conventional way, so why would they start now?
I run away when things are good
And never really understood
The way you laid your eyes on me
In ways that no one ever could
And so it seems I broke your heart
My ignorance has struck again
I failed to see it from the start
And tore you open 'til the end
A guest left a comment here as a guest, and I just wanted to say: "Thank you, dear reader!"