This chapter is based on Lost Without You by Freya Ridings
Strangers rushing past
Just trying to get home
But you were the only
Safehaven that I've known
Hits me at full speed
Feel like I can't breathe
And nobody knows
This pain inside me
My world is crumbling
I should never have
Let you go
Fallon taps her right foot impatiently while waiting for the elevator to arrive. To her left, she hears someone clear their throat. At her side eye, she can see Culhane looking up and down at her.
"What?" she asks annoyed with him.
He shakes his head. "Nothing. I'm just wondering if it's Halloween already" he shrugs.
"I don't know what you mean" she replies in a tone that doesn't leave space to arguments but he eyes the basket she's caring next to her ribs, full of expensive chocolates and candy, a bottle of wine and a bowl of popcorn.
"I'm sorry, it's just that the only time of the year I see people with baskets filled with chocolates is on Halloween"
She exhales, clearly irked, turning to him. "This dress looks like a costume to you?" she gestures to her Dolce Gabanna dress.
He analyzes her black slip dress, hugging every curve in her body, stopping near her knees and leaving little to imagination. "I don't know. I thought that maybe you were trying an Angelina Jolie kind of vibe, in the Mr. & Mrs. Smith? Or a bond girl" he guesses tilting his head and she turns back to the elevator, wondering how long would it takes to arrive.
"What are you doing here anyway?" She questions changing the subject and he pretends he doesn't notice.
"I live here"
She shakes her head. "You're a billionaire, just go buy yourself a house"
"Says the person that still lives at her father's house. The question is, what are you doing here? Because I know Sam left with Kirby an hour ago to some party"
Fallon stays quiet, not wanting to reveal her reasons, embarrassed to tell them to her ex fiancée but at this point, she was past the point of hiding her shame.
She turns to him again, cracking up a wry smile. "I'm here to try to win my husband back. Are you satisfied now?"
"Oh, now I get it" he nods "Except for the basket part" he points it out.
She sighs, shifting again, not in the mood to face him anymore. "That's not up for you to get it, so don't even try"
They stay in silence for a few seconds before Fallon blurts out. "Aren't you happy we didn't get married?" She asks holding the basket tightly.
It's been awhile but Culhane still can tell when Fallon is not okay, and that moment was one of those. Her tone and her voice gave her sadness away and he knew that was not the time for jokes.
"Fallon" he calls and she moves her head slightly to her left, letting him know he had her attention "I don't know exactly what happened, but just let time do it's thing. I'm certain that soon enough he will be back to you"
"I messed up. How can you be sure of that?" She asks insecure and he smiles.
"You're Fallon Carrington. You always get what you want" he replies confident but she shakes her head.
"Not always" she argues.
"Maybe not" he agrees nodding "But you never back down. You never give up. It's in your DNA. Good luck up there. Not that you need it" he adds walking away when the elevator comes and she enters, feeling a little more confident than she was feeling before.
She knocks three times at the door, trying to balance the heavy basket while doing it and shakes her head, trying to make her hair look perfect without moving her hands.
Seconds later the door opens, revealing a confused Liam on the other side, wearing his Duke sweatshirt, the one Fallon always hated but now misses.
"Fallon?" he asks frowning, standing on the way to his room.
"Hey stranger" she greets giving him a nervous smile.
"What are you doing here?"
She ignores his confused look. "Well, you've been MIA since you returned from your last trip so I thought about stopping by. And I've brought you some things that might cheer you up" she gestures for the basket, lowering it a bit so it could show her cleavage and lifts her chin a little higher when she notices his eyes going directly to where she wanted them to. "Can I come in?" She asks in lower tone, much more confident of her actions.
He gulps down, finally looking up. "Sure"
He lets her in, and she walks inside, noticing his tidy room, except for the coffee table that had his open laptop and a stack of papers. She puts the basket on the couch and leans over to try to read what was on those.
"What is this? Research for a new book?"
He rushes to pick everything up and put them inside a folder she missed. "Sort of"
"Humm, can I see it?" She questions remembering how much he liked her reading his previous works and the notes she would leave to him.
"Actually, this could probably be nothing. It's not worth it" he dismisses, putting the folder away and closing his laptop.
"Can I at least know what is it about?" She tries again, watching him take everything to the drawer in his bedside table.
He shifts to her, scratching the back of his neck. "I don't want to jinx it" he says embarrassed of saying no to her and Fallon manages to hide how much it stinged his rejection, realizing how he was clearly trying to hide his things from her.
"I was done for the day, anyway" he tries to light up the mood and she gives him a tentative smile.
"Well, that's great because I have made plans for tonight. For both of us" she specifies before he can throw her away.
"Plans? Fallon, I'm a little tired. I'm not in the mood to go out"
"Good thing we are not leaving this room then" she sits carefully on the couch, crossing her legs and checking if his eyes were following her movements. And she couldn't contain her hope when she noticed they were in indeed on her. "Remember when we first met and you kept talking about Julia Roberts?"
"I'm not sure things happened exactly like that" he mumbles, crossing his arms.
"Yes, they did. I bet you had a crush on her when you were younger" she teases and he chuckles.
"I can't confirm or deny that"
"I knew it" she sings smug "Good thing I'm not jealous because I planned a marathon of Julia Roberts's movies for us tonight"
He widens his eyes, not believing her. "Are you serious? This is not your kind of thing. You get bored at movies"
"Yeah, I'm dead serious. We are starting with Notting Hill, moving to My Best's Friend Wedding and I'm letting you choose between Pretty Woman and Runaway Bride"
He laughs. "Oh my God. You are serious"
"I've told you I had everything planned. I even asked Mrs Gunnerson to prepare us this basket, filled with everything I shouldn't be eating, or you if you want to keep those abs, so we could have a calm and comfortable night"
"Comfortable? With that dress?" he asks ironically and she's beyond thrilled that he's paying attention to her choice of clothing.
"Oh, this old thing? I was in a rush, barely had time to change" They both know she's lying.
Liam knows exactly how much time she needs in the morning to decide what she wants to wear for the day. And he also knows her dresses, especially the ones he loves to see her wearing or stripping it, only for him. He knows the dress is brand new but he decides to let it go.
"I can give you something else to wear" he suggests.
"No!" she almost shouts, standing up to block his way and Liam realizes her own little plan with that black dress.
He holds his grin, deciding to let her stay the way she was to see where things would go.
"Fine" he lifts his hands a surrender "Can I move to at least take the blanket? You might get cold later"
She nods, taking a step aside to free his way. When he returns, she already turned the TV on, setting it on Netflix and is getting cozy on the couch.
He lays the blanket and she makes a grimace when it covers her legs. He moves the basket to the coffee table, removing the items and seating next to her.
"You even brought wine" he muses, checking the bottle.
"I've told you I came prepared"
"Let me get the glasses" she grabs his arm, preventing him of getting up.
"Leave the wine for later. Right now, I just want to watch a movie with you" she pleads and he concedes, leaning back the couch.
She presses play and Elvis Costelo's voice fills the room. She slips a little closer, laying her head on his shoulder, sighing happily. She smells his cologne and closes her eyes for a few seconds, finally at peace.
By the time Anna Scott stands in front of Will, asking him to love her, her head is on his chest and her legs on top of his. His arms are around her and the blanket is covering both of their bodies.
When George is singing 'I Say a Little Prayer for You' at the restaurant and Kimmy's whole family sings along, they run out of popcorn.
Their sugar levels are reaching the sky when Julliane finally kisses Michael. Liam's hand is running circles on her naked back and Fallon fights her sleep, aware that the time of action was near.
When their second movie ends, Liam takes the remote to select Runaway Bride but Fallon stops him.
"Why Runaway Bride? I thought you were going with Pretty Woman" she frowns.
"I thought I could choose the last one" he chuckles.
"Yeah, you can" she nods, pushing away to face him "I just imagined you would choose to watch Julia Roberts in lingerie, instead of a wedding dress"
"Do you want me to watch her in lingerie?" he asks confused, narrowing his eyes at her.
"No" she pouts, crossing her arms and staring the TV and not him. He sighs.
"Fallon, do you want to watch Pretty Woman?" She nods, taking a sip of her wine.
"Okay, then Pretty Woman it is"
When Edward's worried face appears on the TV and she's back to his chest, he speaks, his voice muffled by her hair.
"If you wanted to watch Richard Gere, he did Runaway Bride too"
She rolls her eyes. "I agree he's good looking but if I wanted an eye candy, all I have to do is look at you" he laughs out loud, her head moving with his chest "Sam told me this is his favorite movie and the clothes are to die for"
Pretty Woman is not Sam's favorite movie. The clothes are indeed something she would wear if the year was 1990. But they weren't the reasons she chose the movie.
On the first sex scene, Fallon's tiredness disappear to let the tension get it's place. While Vivian starts unbuttoning Edward's shirt, still watching I Love Lucy on the TV screen, Fallon pays attention to her husband but decides to wait a little longer to act.
But later, when Vivian finds Edward playing the piano all alone, she knows she can't wait any longer.
Her heart is beating fast and she has to rub her hands on her dress to clean the sweat. She doesn't know why she's so nervous. It's just Liam. It's just her husband. He's not a stranger. And it's not her first time having sex, on contrary, she's quite the expert about it.
She gulps down, deciding not to dwell on her nervousness, and start rubbing Liam's chest with her free hand.
"I feel like I'm having a deja vu here" she mumbles, still watching the scene.
"Huh?"
"Can you honestly tell me this scene doesn't bring you any memories?" She moves her head a little to watch him instead, her breath tickling his neck.
"I don't think so" he replies, his eyes focused on the screen but when his hands stops rubbing circles oh her back, she knows he's lying.
"So you're telling me you don't remember when we had our own version of that piano sex scene? Because I can tell ours looked so much better than that" she teases, moving her fingers up, so she can finally touch his skin.
"Oh... that night"
"Yeah, that night" she nods.
They both know what night she's talking about. It was after they got married and she had just agreed to finally go to their honeymoon. They went to bed early, with the promise that on the next day, they would get the jet and leave for the Maldives and don't look back.
But unfortunately, Fallon wasn't feeling that confident. Yes, she told him she would try, but that was easier said than done. In their bed, she kept turning and turning, unable to close her eyes and sleep, the anxiety of leaving her home taking away her peace.
So she got out of bed quietly, and decided to move to the piano. And that's where Liam found her, half an hour later, humming to some song she and Steven used to sing when they were little.
He sat next to her. She told him a story about when Steven sang to her when she was little and scared, a storm ranging up outside, and he laid down with her in her bed and sang until she fell sleep. Music always worked like a medicine for her.
At the end, Liam wraps his arm around her frame, saying he wished he had a nice voice so he could sing to her but she dismisses, saying his company is enough to calm her down.
The moment was sweet, until she kisses him and things heat up pretty fast, with them having sex on top of the piano, without caring if any staff or family member could show up.
It was not the most comfortable sex they had but it was the memory she wished she could live on it. And that was the weapon she was using tonight.
She shifts even closer, almost seating on his lap, and her mouth is next to his ear.
"Do you remember how loud we were that night?" She whispers, the movie long forgotten for both of them.
"I'm pretty sure the staff heard us that night" he let's a short laugh escape his mouth.
"Even if they didn't, we made a big mess on the piano. Anyone could've have guessed what happened in there"
She can see him closing his eyes, and she holds back a celebratory grin, aware she got him right where she wanted.
"We were pretty good together, don't you agree?" she nips his earlobe, then let her teeth scratch it, lightly.
"Fallon..." he starts and before he can refuse her, she starts peppering light kisses on his neck.
"Don't you miss us? Because I do. You don't have any idea how much I miss you"
He doesn't speak but the hand that was on her back moves down, and the other goes to the back of her knee, pulling her closer to him.
"Do you miss me, Liam?" She stops lifting her head to wait for his answer and he opens his eyes.
"Do you seriously have to ask me that? What do you think, Fallon?" he asks defeated and his breath is uneven.
She takes the opportunity to straddle him, seating next to where she wanted but not moving yet. His hands goes to her thighs, lifting her dress a little. She cups his face, forcing him to stare directly at her.
"This is not an answer, Liam" she warns, tilting her head to suck at his pulse point and his hands grips her thighs tighter. "Do you miss me?"
He nods and she continues with her mouth on his neck.
"Do you miss me in our bed?" he nods "Do you miss me stripping for you?" he nods again "Do you miss me doing things with my mouth that make you forget your name? Or do you miss me moaning your name while riding you and let you come inside of me?"
By the time she finishes, she already gave him a hickey and is sure his fingerprints are all over her thighs.
She backs away, her face so close to his she can feel his breath. "Do you miss me, Liam?" She repeats her question, whispering and he shakes his head.
"You have no idea" he replies, grabbing her face and pulling it to him.
When they finally kiss, is like everything is back to it's place. His mouth is still warm and his lips are still soft, but the aggressive way his teeth bite her lower lip, makes her moan loudly.
His hand grips her hair with force, breaking away their kiss to suck at her neck, just like she did before. His other arm brings her closer and the movement makes them both groan.
"You know I hate when you leave marks" she tries to speak, breathless, when her conscience comes back to her body.
"No, you don't" he replies and she rolls her eyes, because he's right. She doesn't. She actually likes looking in the mirror and remembering what exactly led her to acquire that purple spot on her neck. But it wasn't professional of her to show up with a hickey for a meeting and her collection of scarfs was not that big, and sometimes she was in a rush to put some make up to conceal it. But yeah, she loved it.
When he's done, his mouth goes back to hers and she uses her hands to remove his sweatshirt along with the black t-shirt he's using underneath. She throws the clothes behind her, not caring if she hits anything important.
Her hands moves up and down, scratching with her nails the abs she loved to stare at. He leans his head back, enjoying the sensation and she puts some kisses on his chest.
He grabs her neck again when she starts moving her mouth south, bringing her for another kiss. When his fingers finally reaches the straps of her dress, a lightning lightens the room, and soon the thunder follows, making her body tense.
When it happens for a second time, Fallon can't stand it and stops the kiss, using her hands to push Liam's shoulders away.
She can see his confused eyes, staring at her and questioning, without speaking, what happened to make her stop. Then a third lightning illuminates her face and she can see the understanding in his eyes.
"Fallon" he calls her name when she closes her eyes, her hands squeezing his shoulders "It's okay, it's just rain"
She keeps her eyes closed and he starts rubbing her arms.
"Fal, just look at me" He calls her by the nickname she loved and she wants to cry "Just open your eyes and look at me"
She does what he says, her blue eyes in to his, and now she's certain she's going to cry.
And the reason her eyes are getting wetter has nothing to do with the storm, the lightning or the thunders. The reason why she wanted to fall apart was staring at her, calling her 'Fal' and trying to calm her down.
She waited so long to be here again. With him. With him kissing her, touching her and not looking at her with distrust.
She spent her day planning for every single detail so her plan wouldn't go wrong. She craved this moment with him in a way she never desired anything else. And she got it.
Here she was, in the arms of the man she loved and hurt so much. It was like having her husband again, like old times, and she knew this could possibly last only a few hours, but at least he would be hers for a short period of time.
Then, his sweet caring eyes, would turn to angry and hurt, the second he finds out the reason she showed up that night with that black dress. He would see exactly what she did and decide to finally walk away from her. After all, he always saw her.
She shakes her head, closing her eyes again, and some tears escape them.
She can't face him anymore. She can't face what she almost did and go back, pretending nothing happened.
She doesn't want him for a few hours, or for doctor appointments. She wants him for the rest of her life. And she knows she's seconds away from having him taken away from her for good.
"Fallon, you're scaring me. Do you have your pills with you?" he asks referring to the medicine she would take to help her with her fear.
But only shakes her head again. "I should go" she says getting up, wiping her face with the back of her hand, not caring if it would smudge her make up.
"No, no. Fallon, I won't let you get out of here. Not like this" he stands too, gripping her wrist so she wouldn't leave.
"I'm fine" she plasters a fake smile and he huffs. "I am. I just need to go home"
"I'm not gonna let you drive like this. And even if you were actually fine, the world is falling apart outside" he gestures for the wind and Fallon wonders if she was too busy to notice when the rain started.
"I'm not afraid to drive in the rain, Liam. I've done it before"
"I don't care" he snaps "You're staying" he states and his concern makes her feel even more guilty "We are going to finish our movie, and maybe start another one. We can even watch Breakfast at Tiffany's again for all I care, but you're staying" he brushes her hair, then caress her cheeks.
She nods, without saying a word and he takes a relieved breath. "Wait here. I'll get you something warm to wear and this time you can't say no"
She crosses her arms and he moves to his bedroom. As soon as he has his back to her and she can hear him opening his drawers, Fallon rushes to the door, closing it carefully so he wouldn't listen.
This time, the elevator is on the same floor as hers, so she walks in quickly, exhaling when the doors close, taking her away from the man she wanted so much.
Enjoying her loneliness, she leans against the metal walls, letting the sobs shakes her body and the tears roll down her face. With the beep, she dries her face again and walks out without looking back or checking if anyone is paying attention to her.
She gets in to her car, ignoring the rain and her cellphone's ring. The thunders can't affect her anymore and all she wants is to go home.
Fallon opens the manor's door, looking down, clearly defeated.
Her make up is ruined, along with her dress and hair, both still wet from the rain. Her phone is finally quiet and she haven't checked it in a while.
She stands up in the foyer lost, staring at the flowers then at the stairs. Not wanting to go to her bedroom to be alone, she thinks about going to the kitchen and maybe drown her sorrowings in something covered in grease or chocolate but a soft light in Blake's office calls her attention.
The click of her heels alerts Crystal, in her pajamas, that looks up when Fallon appears at the door. She sits straight in the leather armchair to watch the young woman leaning on the threshold, crossing her arms.
"Hey" Crystal greets, sending her a smile "It's late. You just got home?" She inquiries noticing Fallon's fancy dress.
"Yep"
"You were out with Sam?" Crystal asks again, noticing the hickey on her neck, when Fallon doesn't say anything.
"Liam"
Crystal's face light it up. "Oh, so that's a good thing, isn't?"
Fallon shakes her head, her lips trembling. "I'm a failure" she cries and Crystal's smile disappear.
The older woman taps the armchair in front of her and Fallon follows her lead, propping down at the leather seat. Crystal gets up to pour her and Fallon a glass of whiskey and as soon as the younger takes the glass, she takes a sip.
"Now, do you want to tell me why do you think you're a failure?" Crystal asks seating in front of her, pulling her legs up.
"I don't think I'm a failure. I'm certain of that" she takes another sip, almost finishing her drink.
"This has to do with Liam?" Fallon nods and Crystal sighs. "What happened?"
"You mean after I cheated on him? Or the problems we were having before that?" she finishes her drink, leaving the glass on the table in front of her.
"Yes, I do. You're clearly upset and maybe talking about it will help" Crystal suggests in a soft tone.
Fallon sighs, toying with the rings she wore that night. "Alexis came by today. And she gave some advice"
"That can't be good" Crystal groans.
"You have no idea" she laughs a humorless laugh "My mother might have suggested that a baby could help me save my marriage and get Liam back"
The older woman scoffs. "Of course she did"
"But the worst part of this is that I was convinced to follow her idea"
"Fallon..."
"Oh, yeah... Do you see this dress? I spent hours today looking for it. The lingerie I'm wearing? The most expensive set I ever bought " Fallon counts, watching the fireplace so she wouldn't cry "I went to his hotel, planned a whole night so I could seduce him and I did all of that for nothing"
"I'm sorry for that" Crystal tells her sympathetic.
"I'm not" she shakes her head "If I wanted, this night would have ended in a very different way. But now I'm here, still wearing this dress and talking to my step mother"
"You changed your mind" Crystal guesses and Fallon nods.
"It's not that I would get pregnant today, but tonight would be my first step towards that. And a baby, a family with Liam...it was what I always wanted, even though he disagrees with me. But I can't do that"
Crystal frowns. "You mean motherhood?"
Fallon shrugs. "I mean everything. I could barely handle work and Liam without destroying my marriage. Now put a child in to that equation and watch that kid turns out worse than Alexis"
"I think you're not being fair to yourself here"
"No, no. I'm being realistic" she shakes her head "Yes, the amount of work I did this year was far more than I expected to do. And yes, I had someone out for my husband, sabotaging our marriage. But in the end, it was me who canceled our dates, it was me that left my place for Eva to step on it, it was me that slept with Colin"
Crystal stays silent, letting Fallon vent.
"And now, all the time I have left is filled with schemes, trying to get Liam in the same room as me, with him actually wanting to be with me. I can't bring a child in to this. It wouldn't be fair to anyone involved, especially Liam because I would've done it behind his back"
"With that I can agree" Crystal concedes.
"The thing is, even though Alexis's idea was wrong, her intention was good. And she was right, things can't continue the way they are"
Crystal gives a condescending smile. "I wish I could help"
Fallon lifts her chin up, watching the other woman finishing her glass. "Maybe you can" she muses "You've been through a similar situation. How did you move past Blake's betrayal?"
"I don't think my relationship can be used as reference"
"Why not? You're basically Liam" Fallon points it out.
"No, I'm not. I had an affair too, remember? After I found out about his with Laura but still an affair"
"I forgot about the priest" she rolls her eyes.
"But to be fair, I think it helped us in some way" Crystal contemplates.
"You mean the solution for my marriage is to have Liam have an affair with some woman? Should I call Eva in prison right now? Or maybe his ex girlfriend, Ashley? I'm sure you remember her from our first trip together?" Fallon asks exasperated, leaning forward, unable to contain her shock.
"I didn't say that"
"Good. Because only over my dead body that would happen" she warns arching her brows.
"What I meant is that the time apart, the opportunity to be with someone else helped me clear my head"
"Everyone keeps telling me to give him time, and I gave him time. More than enough time. And it's not working" she whines.
"I thought you said you were with him tonight" Crystal remembers.
"Yeah, I was, after giving him that damn time you just said. So what else? What else can I do to make him forgive me?"
Crystal takes a deep breath, leaning too so they would be closer. "After Laura, I just couldn't continue pretending. You know how you keep making excuses for the person you love? That was what I was doing with Blake. I did pretend I was happy after he kept putting his work before me, after all the lies and the times he made me feel less important than him. And that happened a lot. But I put up with it because I was sure of his love. Then he cheated on me and I didn't have to tolerate that anymore"
Fallon frowns. "That sounds a lot like a toxic relationship... is my marriage toxic too?" She asks worried.
"I'm not saying it is" Crystal tries to appease her, squeezing her hand. "I asked for a divorce because I couldn't trust him anymore and I was in love with someone else"
"And what changed?"
"Discovering my tumor helped me change my perspective. I thought I could die and Blake changed too. Loosing CA made us stand on even grounds and he proved to me that things wouldn't be the same"
"And you trust him now?"
"I do, yes" Crystal nods "But I still have that annoying voice in my head, telling me to track him down when he comes home late or doesn't answers my calls. Not because I'm possessive of him, but because I remember what happened in the past"
"That doesn't seem a lot like trust for me" Fallon muses and Crystal nods.
"I admit it's not my best behavior, but it's what I can do now. I made a choice when I chose to stay with your father, a choice I do everyday. I promised that I would try because I love him, but trust isn't build in a day or two. Every action he does it's like he's putting brick by brick, and I know one day that wall will be finished and that voice in my head won't have any more power over me" she explains "Marriages aren't easy, especially on their first year, but you have to decide, everyday, you want it to work"
"How?" Fallon asks defeated.
"Show him that you've changed. That everything that was on the way before, won't be a problem now" Crystal suggests and Fallon groans.
"That's the thing. I've tried everything I could. I have never been in a situation where I didn't know what to do"
Crystal takes a moment, aware that Fallon wouldn't like what she had to say. "I know this won't probably bring you any joy but if you already did everything in your power to save your relationship, now the ball is in Liam's court. It's up to him to decide if he wants to take the risk again"
"And if he doesn't?" Fallon asks, her voice now choked by the tears that were threatening to fall, with the possibility hanging in the air. "I love him"
"Then, I'm sorry, but you have to let him go" Crystal wipes a rebel tear that escaped Fallon's blue eyes.
"What if I can't?" Fallon whispers.
"You can. From all I've heard and seen, Fallon Carrington can do anything. You just need to remind yourself of who you are" Fallon chuckles lightly, using the back of her hand to dry her now wet cheeks.
The younger brunette leans back on her seat, pondering every word in her head. "You're right"
"Of course I am" Crystal jokes.
"I'm going to take a step back and let him decide. And if he wants to end things, I'll give him his freedom" she shrugs "Maybe being single, again, is not so bad"
"Fallon, I don't want to give you hope or anything, but I don't think you're going to be single anytime soon" Crystal warns her "I saw Liam the day you were shot and I've never seen anyone more devastated than he was that night. He loves you" she states "He's just afraid of trying again, which is understandable, but not impossible. It will happen. But in the meantime, please try not to get pregnant. You two can only deal with one thing at a time" she pleads.
Fallon laughs, her mood improved now. "I promise you that". She stands, looking around the room she grew up in and stops at her step mother. "I never asked... why are you here so late?"
Crystal shrugs. "Blake got home late today and that little voice wouldn't shut up"
"Is it quiet now?" She asks sympathetic, wondering if Liam had the same voice inside his own head.
"Yes, don't worry"
Fallon makes her exit but stops near the door, shifting her body to face her stepmother. "Thank you. For the talk. This is the second time I come looking for advice from you. And for making my own inner voice shut up as well"
"Anytime, Fallon"
The young woman sends her an appreciative smile, before turning around. This time, she goes to her room, closes the door and stares, unafraid, where Liam used to sleep.
She takes her phone and sees 12 missed calls and three messages from Liam.
Where did you go?
Can you please answer my calls? I'm worried
I get that you don't want to talk to me now, even though I can't understand why. But please, just let me know you're safe
She smiles reading his texts, almost hearing his voice in every word.
I'm home. I'm okay. She replies simply and shuts her phone off, not expecting a reply from him.
She takes her ruined dress off, leaving it on the floor. She doesn't want to see this dress ever again.
She sighs and end up staring a photo of them, one from their honeymoon, hanging on the wall next to her.
She might have to get used to the idea of never having him there again. Not even in photos.
It would be hard. Probably the worst thing she ever had to face. Especially after just having him so close again. But now, she knew it wouldn't break her.
Crystal was right. She just needed a reminder of how incredible she was and that no one could ever take that away from her.
After all, with or without Liam, she's Fallon Freaking Carrington, nothing is ever going to change that.
Standing on the platform
Watching you go
It's like no other pain
I've ever known
To love someone so much
To have no control
You said I want to see the world
And I said go
But I think I'm lost without you
I just feel crushed without you
I've been strong for so long
That I never thought how much I needed you
I think I'm lost without you