New chapter time because forgot to update this woo. As always, if you got any fun ideas you wanna see, or any corrections to make, don't hesitate to drop a review. Or if you just like it I guess, that too.
It wasn't too long until all of the mercenaries had gathered their belongings. After all, they already spent a lot of their time moving from base to base, and this was no different. They hadn't spent too much time in this one anyway, considering the previous two times that BLU had located their supposedly secret settlement in a short amount of time. It was still a concern, but there wasn't exactly anything they could do at the moment.
Now, the team faced a very important debate. Specifically, who would get to ride in Sniper's camper van and who would be situated in the RED Bread truck. Spy had stopped bringing his sports car along after the Soldier had nearly blown it up, so the truck and the van were the two vehicles that were guaranteed to be wherever the mercs were. Considering the truck was usually hot, smelly, and crowded during longer trips- especially since most of the cargo was back there too, Sniper's van was a coveted privilege. Of course, the camper van also presented the occupants with a high chance to find a disturbing amount of jars full of urine, but it still beat being stuffed in a cramped, windowless space with the likes of Pyro, Soldier, Scout, or to a slightly lesser extent, Medic. Those particular four were exceedingly volatile, loud, annoying, and/or just plain creepy. The fact that there was virtually no way to escape or ignore them in the truck just made it worse. It was guaranteed at least one of them would be in either vehicle since Sniper's van usually carried only three people, plus the Sniper himself.
There were once attempts at planning out who would ride what in rotations, but those quickly crumbled after a rather large argument where everyone debated who would be the one to assign spots. The mercenaries eventually settled upon a simpler solution: chance. Each person drew a slip of paper from a container- today, it was one of Soldier's helmets. The spots were designated by a drawing, courtesy of the Scout, partially due to the lack of reading ability that some of the mercs exhibited. Scout himself never really ended up having much of an education, Soldier's attention span typically kept him from continuing past the first letter, Heavy still wasn't perfectly adjusted to English, and Pyro- well, Pyro was Pyro. More importantly, getting Scout to draw kept him voluntarily quiet for a little while, and any moment Scout wasn't talking was a win.
"Truck!" Soldier would have been fine strapped to the side of the vehicle, so he didn't care much.
"Aw, come on, I had to go in the freakin' truck last time, too!" Scout complained as he looked over the paper again a couple of times, as if it would magically change to the other option.
"Are you complaining, MAGGOT?" Soldier butted in, advancing menacingly towards his victim and grabbing the smaller man by the neck. Scout screamed in an amusing high-pitched manner. "GOOD SOLDIERS do not COMPLAIN." The insane jingoist punctuated his words with a rough shake. The poor runner's strained protests were ignored. "If you are COMPLAINING I will be forced to set you straight with the WORST case of foot up your-" Before he could continue, and possibly choke the Scout to death, Medic discreetly shot the out-of-control man with a tranquilizer. Of course, someone could have relatively easily stepped in and defused the situation, but Medic had to get his 'stabbing people with needles' craving satiated somehow. It was best not to interfere with the doctor while he was holding a sharp object, anyway. Soldier flopped to the floor, and the freed Scout was left gasping for air on the ground. The mercenaries continued as if the whole incident never happened.
"Vrrh! Yuhhrrhhrr!" the Pyro cheered at its own slip. It gave the creature of indeterminate humanity the opportunity to ride in the van, but it seemed more excited to hold its lighter up to the flammable scrap and let it burn in its gloved hands.
"Truck? Eh, as long as ye got some drinks in there..." Demoman muttered indifferently, tossing his paper to the side in favor of guzzling down yet another bottle of alcohol.
"Truck." Heavy accepted his position in the bread truck with contentment- the man was large enough for Sniper's mildly cluttered van to be a bit uncomfortable anyway. The preference was only solidified after one unfortunate situation involving broken glass and a whole lot of 'Jarate.'
"Van," Spy declared, tucking the slip of paper into his suit. He was quite pleased that the two most annoying members, Scout and Soldier, happened to get in the opposite vehicle as he did. Frankly, he almost felt bad for the poor souls who would be travelling with the obnoxious-insane combo. It was quite the handful considering Soldier's strange habit of targeting Scout whenever he felt like blaming or hurting someone. Which was often. He was slightly annoyed that he'd have to spend that time with a different person he despised, but as long as the filthy bushman was busy driving, he could deal with it.
"Truck," Engineer shrugged, mostly indifferent. Looking on the bright side, he reasoned that he could keep an eye on his machines so no one would mess with them.
"Van!" Medic happily proclaimed with a wide grin. "And zat's all of us, so vhy don't ve-"
"No," Sniper said quickly.
"'No' vhat?" Medic asked innocently.
"You are not ridin' in there again."
"Oh, come on, I promise It von't be like last time. I double-checked all zhe locks! And I sedated zhem heavily for good measu-"
"You're banned from my van until those things are in the trash, nurse. End of story." Medic's grin faded.
"Ach, fine," he spat, following it with some very frustrated German under his breath.
"What is my assignment?" Everyone was startled at the monotone voice. After the familiar routine of packing and assigning seats, it seemed the Batter was forgotten. Everyone looked to the back of the room, where he was patiently standing, unnoticed.
"How long 'as he..?" The Demoman trailed off. The Spy raised an eyebrow, impressed with the man's stealth. Granted, the Batter had been standing in plain sight, but the fact he didn't move or talk made him seem like part of the scenery, the regular going-ons overriding the unfamiliar presence. He would have to keep an eye on that.
"Ooh-hoo-hoo-hoo! If you're revoking my van privileges, zhen zhe least you can do is let me travel with zhis one!" Medic butted in excitedly, procuring a pen and notepad from his pockets in the blink of an eye.
"Fair enough," Sniper shrugged.
"Yes. This is acceptable. Heavy would like to have eye on strange man," the Russian giant added. Everyone nodded or shrugged agreeably, except for the Soldier (who was unconscious on the ground) and Scout. Everyone began to walk away, Heavy grabbing Soldier. Despite this, the runner decided to voice his objections.
"Wait, wait, wait. So, if Medic's with us, and he's with us, dat's like..." He started counting on his fingers, squinting. After a few seconds, he gave up. Math was overrated anyway. "A lotta people! Like, way too many people. We ain't gonna fit in there! It's gonna suck!"
"You'll survive," Sniper shrugged unsympathetically. "Consider it payment for havin' to ride with Spook over there."
"But dat's not even my fault!" Scout's objections fell on deaf ears, as Sniper had already started heading for his van. With a defeated sigh, he accepted his fate, as there was no one left to argue with.
The Batter followed the others towards the garage. Entering the room, his senses were assaulted with alien sensations. The garage doors were open, the familiarity of the segmented metal clashing with the barrage of light, smells, and textures of the outside. The terrain was grossly irregular, lines worse than the scribbles of the child. Calling the faded orange walls he inferred were around the rest of the building 'rectangular' would be very generous. Whoever had constructed these surroundings should be fired. He was just getting acclimated to the rough, hard material making up the building. At least it was uniform. Here, though, small scraps of whatever element this Zone (could he even call it a Zone?) was made of littered the bumpy ground. Dry-looking thin poles of random lengths stuck out of it in random places. The poles waved in the hot wind, which blasted his face with particles of the strange substance. There were a couple of tracks engraved in the ground, criss-crossing painfully aimlessly, but all leading towards a faded grey path made of what looked like the same substance as the building. Off to the side, a couple of scorched marks, craters, and bloodstains hinted at a recent skirmish.
"Y'all good over there?" the one with the yellow plastic hat asked him. The Batter hadn't even noticed he had stopped walking.
"Yes." He gathered himself, dismissing all of the hints of something creeping into his brain at the unfamiliar surroundings and resumed walking towards the 'truck,' a vaguely tram-like construct, made of familiar metal and plastic.
Soon enough, the nine mercenaries plus one mysterious humanoid were on the road. Heavy and Demoman were in the front- Heavy driving and Demo having fallen asleep in the front seat after the first two minutes. Engineer was leaning against a couple crates of supplies while Scout sat on the floor. The youngest merc directed a few concerned glances towards the Medic to his right, whose hand was resting on a pile of what looked like covered cages. A few of his doves flapped their wings as they settled near the ceiling. Soldier took a frustrating amount of floor space, sliding down from being propped up against the cargo as the vehicle shook. Scout kicked the sedated patriot's foot away only for it to plop back into place. Standing still, inconveniently in the middle of the area was the Batter.
"Hehey, batter guy, mind like... goin' in a corner or somethin'? 'Least get outta the middle of the place?" Scout asked, frowning at his lack of space. The Batter's head slowly turned in the young man's direction, simply staring silently with his blank face. His white bat shifted slightly in his hand. Memories of being attacked with that thing flashed through Scout's mind and he immediately backpedaled. Sure, he'd been through much worse on the battlefield, but the Batter had the air of someone who would beat him to death without batting an eye (and he wasn't even sure if the man had eyes to begin with). Plus, the not-magic (as Engineer had assured him) device that brought them all back to life mid-battle wasn't set up while they traveled. "Actually, never mind, I'm good 'ere. Great, actually. Never been better." He made a show of pretending to be comfortable until the Batter looked away. Engineer raised an eyebrow, but between his goggles and hard hat, it was difficult for anyone to tell.
The trip started rather quietly. Everyone mostly minded their own business and Scout was miraculously quiet- not to say he didn't speak at all, but he didn't speak every single second, which was a drastic improvement. In the peace, Medic took it upon himself to learn a bit more about the scientific curiosity that was the Batter.
"So! Vould you mind if I asked you a few questions about yourself?" the doctor asked him, whipping out a notebook.
"No." Medic narrowed his eyes. Coming from anyone else, the flatness of that word would hint at annoyance, maybe even sarcasm, but there was no way to know how to approach the speech patterns of someone as emotionless and alien as the Batter.
"Excellent. Now, let's start with something simple. Vhere are you from?"
"The Nothingness." Medic jotted the answer down and waited for him to clarify, but nothing followed. Of course. He wasn't sure why he was surprised. "Could you perhaps elaborate on vhat zhat is? Vhat is it like?"
"It's the Nothingness. It's empty." The description was lackluster, but Medic could sense that that was the best he would be able to get out of the stoic humanoid.
"Right." He tapped his pencil against his chin as he pondered the implications of this. The Medic's questioning lasted for around ten minutes before he stopped. No matter how he asked, every single answer he got was short and infuriatingly vague. The most he could glean was that the Batter had once fought ghosts, 'purified' various 'zones,' and didn't know how he had gotten to the RED team's base. Oh well. He assured himself he'd find out more later, that he had all the time in the world, but it did little to satisfy the itch of scientific curiosity at the back of his mind.
As is to be expected with a vehicle full of insane mercenaries plus a random inhuman stranger, the peace was not to last. Everything started going downhill when the Soldier woke up. Loudly.
"YOU JUST PICKED THE WRONG MAN TO KIDNAP, MAGGOTS!" he yelled as he sat up quickly, the sensation of waking up on the floor of a moving vehicle leading him to assume the situation. Scout screamed and scooted back, definitely not scared, just startled, that's all. Engineer lifted his hand, ready to step in. Despite Soldier's less-than-average intelligence, however, he quickly realized he was, in fact, not kidnapped.
"Oh- I'd recognize that girly scream anywhere! Hello, Scout!" He waved at Scout, whose expression was veering sharply from terror to irritation. However, Soldier had already turned away. "Hello, Scout Two!" There was a brief moment of silence until suddenly the others realized he was talking about the Batter. The addressed man(?) did not seem to take too kindly to this comparison. Soldier was barely on his feet before the Batter wordlessly slammed his bat into his face. Characteristically, the patriot was unfazed by the attack. Once he recovered from the initial impact, he grinned through mildly bloodied teeth, let out a chuckle, and threw back a punch. For the first couple of moments, all the others could do was look on in shock as the two traded blows, neither seeming the least bit distressed by the hits they were receiving. Scout's fingers twitched, having a sudden craving for a snack in accompaniment with the entertainment, and Medic looked on in excitement as he watched the Batter in action. Was that a little flash of white light appearing?
The fight ended abruptly once the two got a little too close to some of the Engineer's stuff. The hard-hatted man stepped in, grabbed Soldier's arm with one hand, and blocked an incoming bat blow with the other. The bright weapon made a solid-sounding, dull thunk as it hit Engie's glove. Though he was the shortest, the Texan definitely wasn't the weakest, and one would not do well to underestimate the builder. Soldier and Batter were both frozen in place for a moment, trying to comprehend what had just happened. The Medic squinted where he thought he saw the ring of light, but there was nothing there. Perhaps he was seeing things.
"Now boys, violence ain't the best solution to your disagreement right now," he reasoned, his calm voice edged with a little danger. "We don't wanna run off the road, after all." He smiled good-naturedly as the Batter backed up a step, letting his bat slide off of the Texan's covered arm. Soldier simply looked like he was trying to figure out how a situation in which violence was not the answer could exist, aggression fading away as his limited brainpower was diverted to a different topic.
"Aww, come on overalls, it was just gettin' interesting!" Scout complained.
"Quiet, Scout One!" Soldier ordered. "I will only associate with the better Scout now. Right, Scout Two?" Neither of the 'Scouts' seemed particularly pleased with this.
"Wasn't talkin' to you..." 'Scout One' grumbled. Thankfully, no additional violence towards the Soldier unfolded. The Engineer took this opportunity to confront the Batter.
"Alright, mister. We can't have ya attackin' people all the time. 'Specially when we're in a confined space. I'll forgive it for now, but things might get ugly if you try that again."
"Okay," the pale humanoid replied. Though his expression (or lack thereof) did not betray it, the Batter was mildly confused. Why did he attack the loud man in the helmet? Sure, the Scout was annoying, but the feeling of personal offense he got from the comparison seemed new. Perhaps it was the lasting desire to purify, targeting the inconveniences around him. Though he no longer was ordered to by his previous sacred mission directed by the Player, he still had the drive to eliminate the impures. In fact, those white birds flitting around were beginning to look a little suspicious...
"Vhat's zhat, Vesalius?" Medic asked a distressed dove, who had flapped over while he was making sure none of the creatures in his cages had woken up in the scuffle. Vesalius cooed frantically in response. "Andreas is vhat? WHO HAS HIM?" The German doctor stood quickly and scanned the small area before spotting the offender. There the Batter was, holding the white bird roughly. He didn't sound like he was threatening the dove, rather... interrogating it. Nevertheless, he clearly was unfamiliar with holding something gently, especially if that something was trying its very best to get away as quickly as possible. Andreas' wing was crushed at an awkward angle.
"Batter! Vhat are you doing vith my bird?!" Medic yelled as he rushed over. The culprit looked up from the poor dove.
"I thought he knew something about Japhet." The small white creatures reminded him a little too much of a certain vengeful firebird. If Japhet was back too, the Batter's job was incomplete, and he could not stand for such a thing. Consequently, he targeted the nearest one to question. Unfortunately, as a dove, the only thing Andreas could really do was coo and warble in response to the things the Batter had asked.
"Let go of him! I vill come back to scold you after I write zhis down!" The Batter almost begrudgingly let the bird go. He fluttered wildly in a spiral to the ground. After quickly jotting down 'birds' and 'japhet' in his nearly illegible doctor handwriting, Medic kneeled down to pick Andreas off the floor and gently place him back where the other doves were roosting. Vesalius cooed and nudged him while Andreas made a disgruntled noise back. All of the other doves turned their heads and glared at the Batter, who predictably didn't notice.
Before the Medic could go back to give the Batter a frustrated talking-to, the Engineer pulled him aside.
"Doc, I know you're real excited about this guy, but I think it might be best to get him outta here for a while. He's just gonna cause more problems if we let 'im roam free like this, just look at all the trouble he's caused already," he muttered quietly, sparing a glance at the Batter. The aforementioned blank-faced baseball man seemed like he couldn't care less what Engie was talking about. Medic took a little look around the place. Soldier, with a bloodied face, was picking his nose and sitting on the ground. Andreas sat atop a couple of boxes, feathers still ruffled, looking rather traumatized. "We're not even halfway there yet, but I know it's only going ta get worse if we let him have free reign of the place."
"Ach, I know," the mad doctor sighed, his disappointment palpable. Engineer patted him on the shoulder.
"Why don't we send him up front for a bit? Less people, hell, less things for him to mess with. If anything happens, Heavy can handle himself."
It wasn't long until they had pulled over and gotten the very drunken Demoman (along with the many cases of beer he had brought up) out of the front seat. Soldier waved at 'Scout 2' as the door to the back of the truck closed. Before returning to driving, the Batter's new associate decided to lay out some ground rules.
"You touch anything, I crush you," the aptly-named Heavy Weapons Guy began. "You break anything, I crush you. I am not like team. I do not like you. I do not trust you. Do not make problem." With that, he looked forward, pulling back onto the road.
"I'm not afraid of you," the Batter replied.
"You should be. You are tiny baby."
"I've defeated bigger." Heavy gave him an incredulous sideways glance before turning his eyes forward again. Neither person was very talkative, but both were perfectly content in the silence, broken only by the hum of the engine and an occasional muffled conversation in the back.
The windows in this portion of the vehicle were the first thing the Batter noticed. Specifically, what was outside of them. The scenery zoomed by, holding the alabaster humanoid in a sort of trance as he examined his surroundings. There was more of that dusty, orange material, along with the brownish, branching poles sticking out of cracks. Even taller poles shot up along the side of the greyish path, with some long, black cord strung up along them. A couple of white, wispy clouds hung in the vibrant blue sky, and a bright orb was suspended close to the ground, but still in the air. When he looked forward, he could see the other vehicle in front of them. A very small part of him wanted to know what material everything was made of, which was frankly ridiculous. He had found the Elsen's rants about each Zone an inconvenience, why was this any different? He pushed the nagging urge to ask the large man next to him about it. It was stupid. Not worth his time.
As they continued on, the Batter noticed something peculiar. The bright orb in the sky was getting lower and lower on the horizon, darkening the world. This was unprecedented, and possibly a concern.
"The sky is changing colors," he told the large man.
"Yes. Is sunset," the Heavy replied in his typical succinct fashion. The Batter wasn't entirely sure what this meant for him.
"Is it dangerous?" He had never regretted what he'd said before, but the words that came out of his mouth sounded like something the Elsen might have said. Curse poor word choice.
"No?" The response sounded like a question, for the Heavy was understandably puzzled. Did the tiny white not-quite-human not know what a sunset was? "Is normal thing that happens every day. You do not know sunset?"
"No."
"Is beautiful," the hefty mercenary conceded, treating the strange being with a bit more civility than he had been previously. The Batter did not respond to this. If it wasn't dangerous, he did not need to concern himself with it. They drove on, and the front descended into silence once more. The glowing sphere crept closer to the ground, and soon the sky was blooming with brilliant reds and oranges, pinks and purples. The light reflected off of the few clouds, making them glow with a fiery yellow.
The Batter would say he saw no value in beauty.
However, he stared at the sunset for its entire duration.