Jared's POV
"I hate this time of the month," Sam groans, dropping his head into his hands.
"Grocery list." Emily sighs next to him. The two are bent over the kitchen table staring down a blank sheet. Emily's kitchen is usually overflowing with food, but the usual bowls of fruit are bare, the cabinets are near empty besides baking soda, with the fridge and freezer completely depleted.
"With the way you two eat you should be paying rent." Sam glares across the table to Paul and I. Paul, who is in mid chew on an apple and nearly chokes on it as he tries to retaliate with something snarky around it. He looks so stupid I end up laughing instead of helping him.
"You mean the way you all eat." Emily clarifies him, arching a brow in challenge at Sam. He immediately subdues instead of his usual glower, ducking his head away and becoming something close to shy. "You're all blackholes. You eat faster than I can't put out."
"Em, you love it." I rock my chair back and forth on its hind legs, with my arms crossed behind my neck. "You said so yourself last week that you've been trying out new recipes on us. We're like your test kitchen."
"But where do you think that food comes from?" Sam growls. "It's not cheap."
"It's like buying wholesale." Emily tries not to frown, but I can tell it bothers her. We'd eat at our own houses more often, but Paul and I are here more than anywhere else. My parents don't know whose house I'm sleeping at or if I'm on patrol. Most nights they've been asleep for hours by the time I get home, so no cooks for me. Paul has it worse. He's basically on his own for most of the year. His old man sends Paul money once a month, but he's long gone from the rez. He hardly comes back to check up on Paul, and when he does he doesn't go easy on Paul. Everyone on the rez knows when old man Lahote is back when Paul starts walking around with shiny black and blues. Meanwhile Paul's mom is back in Tacoma, and that's three hours away. I don't even know if they're aware of Paul turning.
"Should we get a chicken coop?" Emily offers. I can easily picture Emily outside throwing feed and carefully picking eggs each morning in a big straw sunhat. She'd probably make us build it, and have Sam paint it pink. Emily loves her garden nearly as much as her kitchen.
"Paul will probably eat them all when he's a wolf." Sam groans, which makes both Emily and I double over with laughter. Paul just grumbles about how he wouldn't, but he doesn't sound convincing. When Paul turns he's all instinct. Sam and I are still trying to reach him when he's turned.
"It shouldn't be this hard to do the grocery shopping." Emily sighs, her shoulders getting stiff which causes Sam to reach over and rub her shoulders till she eases up.
"Let me ask Henry Clearwater if he has any fish. He'll give me a good price." Sam suggests, frowning from Emily being frustrated. Sam will probably buy Henry's entire cooler of fish.
"Fish? We can fish ourselves! We can catch leeches, we can catch fish or anything with just our teeth!" Chopping his teeth together playfully, Paul looks cocky as he gets to his feet, dragging me up along with him.
"Don't you dare bring me back a dead deer or a squirrel." Emily goes pale.
"Paul, don't do anything stupid. You can't draw attention to yourself." Sam warns, but Paul waves him off.
"This is definitely not what Sam meant when he told us not to do anything stupid." I groan, refusing to take one step further.
"It's a great idea." Paul insists, his eyes narrowed at the murky water. Paul and I are waist deep in the ocean, the waves rocking against us and soaking us through. Paul's great idea is to catch fish with our bare hands, with our werewolf capabilities he's sure we can catch bucketfuls in minutes. It's a very impulsive idea that screams Paul all over it.
"Now shut up. You're scaring all the fishes away." Paul hushes me, trying to be still as possible. So I shove him into an incoming wave.
"I'll kill you!" When Paul resurfaces he practically splits the sea open from sheer force. In an inhumane rumble he growls at me, but another wave comes down on him and drowns him out.
"Calm down before people see us." I try not to laugh, steeling myself against the waves as Paul splutters back to his feet. Before I start laughing, I start waddling back towards shore. "Take a minute, Paul."
Swimming use to be more fun without the werewolf abilities. Now I can smell the ocean rotting from all the pollution. The waves aren't as fun with super strength reenforcing my body. Though now, I can swim so deep I can probably get close to the bottom of the ocean in one breath.
"Jared?" Cursing to myself, halting halfway right where the ocean stops at my knees. Jacob, Embry and Quil watch me from the beach. Their long hair is out of their faces, either braided down their backs or shoved into a bun on their heads. A soccer ball is tucked under Quil's arm, with Embry handling the music with the wireless speaker. They're all barefoot, but layered up to tough out the chill from the ocean breeze. Shirtless and only in a bare of cut offs, I look crazy compared to them coming out of the ocean in the middle of April.
Between the urge to dive back into the water with Paul or ask to join them, all I can manage is a tight nod. With the roar of the waves, including all the salt and rot of the ocean I didn't hear or see them coming when I should have.
God, I miss my friends.
Avoiding them has been one of the hardest parts of the change. I grew up with them my entire life, ate lunch with them everyday since kindergarten. Now I can't even tell them the biggest change in my entire life.
"You probably wouldn't want to play a game with us." Quil nervously fumbles around with the ball, but the hopeful look on his face sends makes me feel like crap.
"I...I can't." But I want to. I'd love to. "I gotta go soon."
"We'll be here for a while if you can play for a bit later." Jacob offers, who is still as sweet and himself as ever. I've scared for Jacob. His new pounds of muscles and growth spurt is concerning. Sam insists Jacob is next, and I don't want this for him.
"Thanks." I crunch out between my teeth, but I mean it. Heat festers below the surface, and overwhelms me before I even realize that my frustration is doubling over into anger.
"He's good." Paul's hand claps down on my shoulder so hard the bone nearly crunching from his monstrous strength. The pain doesn't clear my head, but instead furthers me towards the full shift.
"We weren't asking you." Jacob points out, frowning as Paul drags me away. "But you're welcome to play too."
"We're both good." Paul says over his shoulder.
I barely make it towards the tree line before changing.
I lost Paul miles ago. I'm not sure if he changed back or if I'm just too angry to register his voice because I haven't heard his voice since the beach. The heat of the anger scorches me from the inside out, searing away what's left of my senses and throbbing so painfully the outside world is blocked out. With every passing minute there's not much left besides the rage and the ground.
Then something cuts through. A laugh. A soft, melodic giggle that I leads me to change directions in sudden flick and sends me running towards it. I charge across half of La Push in minutes, dodging trees trunks and taking hills so fast I'm not even sure I even passed them or not.
The laugh becomes clearer, deepening into a hum, then I can make out talking the faster I run. The top of Kim's house shows me the way till she comes into full sight on her porch, the only thing between us some bushes.
Kim!
"Jared! Stop!" Sam's massive black form rips through the trees, gunning for me before I can go any further. I collapse under my alpha's weight, both of us rolling back deeper into the woods and snarling at each other.
"Sounds like bears," Kim's voice grows far. "lets go back inside." I roar into Sam's face, writhing in frustration as we struggle over each other, jaws clamping down and claws scraping at fur.
"Jared! Jared! Jared, I said stop!" I'm not sure when we shifted back, but he towers over me, holding me back by my bare shoulders. I can't get words out, heaving heavily like an animal still. I shake with fury, my head snapping around searching for Kim but only seeing trees.
"I need to go see Kim." I bark, jerking in grip.
"What were you gonna do? Just run up to her? You're not a puppy! You could have killed her!" Sam shoves me back, his booming voice sends the birds flapping away with urgency.
"She's mine! She's safest with me!" I growl, my voice too deep to be normal, just monstrous.
"Not when you're like this." Sam stops yelling altogether, his voice going cold. "Take it from me." The thought of Emily cuts through the fury, clearing away some of the anger with just enough remorse for some clarity to form. I stop fighting against Sam, reality slowly beginning to settle in.
"That's it. Breathe, Jared, breathe." Sam advises, holding me steady in his grip till I can stand on my own. When I'm calm enough he offers me a spare of shorts, putting on his own too.
"How did you know where to find me?" I didn't even know where I was going till I saw Kim for myself.
"Paul told me you were mad, and several residents reported seeing a giant animal running through their yards." Sam sighs, crossing his arms over his chest.
"I... I didn't mean to, Sam––"
"I know." Sam cuts me off with a firm nod.
"I'm sor-"
"I know you are." He nods again, but the pissed look is still in his eyes. Sam's disappointment is silent, but feels heavy on my shoulders. Sam is always mad, just like me. He understands how constant the frustration of never being normal again, but his disappointment is harsh as a slap on the face.
I just wanted to see Kim without getting overwhelmed. I just wanted to hangout with my friends again. I just wished I could be a little bit normal. Even the slightest bit.