Author's Note: Uhhh... Sorry. No promises on consistent updates, but I'm here to say I'm not dead. Be sure to give any feedback. It is most appreciated.
The journey was just that. Long. And yet, it was so much more too. There was the ever-present cold. Supposedly many wild wolves lurked in the brush that surrounded their path. They may have nearly crossed the path of a demonic beast too. As much as the woman wanted to approach Dimitri, the majority of the journey had him conversing with his retainer. Mercedes's position had her confined to the carriage with the other two. She was, excluding Byleth, the only healer present.
As for herself, the former professor was presented with her own horse. Her horseback skills were poor. She was unable to make use of them in the battle, but this stead was at least trained to follow their caravan. Mercedes's experiences with horses were less than her own, so it made better sense for Byleth to ride outside the carriage. Dedue's bulk made it reasonable for him to join them too. It was apparent that they did not have the time to march from one end of the Kingdom to the other.
Their pace serviced them well. Ultimately, they were on time to arrive in Fhirdiad soon. It was believed that they would arrive in the morning, but trekking through Faerghus' endless woods was not a wise choice in the evening. The low visibility made them easy pickings for any nocturnal creature. The camp provided light and watch. While it attracted an unsavory company, their numbers could quell any opportunistic bandit troupe or pack of beasts.
It was not asked of Byleth to take watch, but she was quite insistent on the idea. Her sleep schedule was dependent on the physical condition of her body. Exhaustion was the only means for her to rest. Her ever vigilant behavior earned reluctant praise at best. At worst, Dimitri voiced his concerns over her health.
It mattered little with only one night left until they were within the limits of the capital. There was time to sleep once they arrived. The woman tended to the campfire, willing to keep an eye on the flame for the time being. The song of wolves carried from a great distance, but her attention was on the flicker of the fire. The crackling of the wood as it gave way to the heat. Flashbacks of a great inferno manifested in her thoughts. Even after so many months, the events of Remire Village remained fresh in her memory. The former professor was overcome by a bitter feeling. The atrocity that happened was not the Flame Emperor's doing, but she still worked alongside the cravens that perpetrated the crimes.
Edelgard was not the perpetrator. And yet, she was complicit in the tragedy. Her methods demanded sacrifices. The innocent were fodder for her sense of justice.
As if reflecting the flames in her eyes, they reflected a burning frustration. Byleth was so quick to turn her blade on Rhea. She was so quick to defend the instigator of horrific hardships. She hated herself for how this anger was only temporary. It was a passing feeling. It seemed like the woman could never truly loathe the likes of Hubert and Edelgard fully. Her thoughts were broken by a hand to her shoulder. "Byleth?" To her surprise, it was Dedue that greeted her.
Out of everyone in the company, they spoke the least in the past week. It was never his prerogative to glean into her recent history or seek to reminisce. "Dedue. What brings you to me?" Their manner of speech was both blunt. While there were long pauses in their talks, they spoke in a near similar way, often not wanting to mince words.
The retainer sat across from Byleth without offering an immediate answer. "It felt fitting to hear from you myself on your intentions," Dedue answered straightly, not sparing the time for pleasantries. This conversation was to be expected, but his silence until then had her under the impression he was already placated.
Byleth did not take any offense to his approach. "Do you not trust my desire to assist the Kingdom?"
After a pause, the fortress knight shook his head to the question. He took a seat beside her, overlooking the fire. His expression mirrored hers. "No, but I want to know what you want with his highness."
His unspoken accusation startled Byleth, enough for her natural poker face to crinkle. From what it sounded like, the retainer was suggesting that she wished to use him for her personal gains. Though, her emotions were quick to reign in as she thought more about his words. "What are you implying?"
Dedue hummed in response. "I am only wary that you seek to use his highness's kindness. I believe you betrayed the Emperor and are a traitor to the Empire, but I do not know what you seek from wishing to fight for his highness."
The point of confusion was one that was not new to her. There were far easier solutions than subjecting herself to his judgment and joining with her former enemies. Her choice to align with the rival monarch suggested more cowardly reasoning behind her actions. If not cowardly, there could be a reason to believe her choice was self-fulfilling. Her resolution to join their cause only scratched the surface of her loyalties and aims. "It is my desire to see that Dimitri be the one to save Fódlan. My view is not far from your own. I believe he is the only person that can do so." There were some details Byleth omitted. Ones that were better saved for a less public area. It was not her intent to wallow her in her guilt before all her new allies.
Her answer did earn a nod, but the tall man's cool gaze did not melt. "Don't take offense, but are you doing this curry his favor? To gain his affections?" The obvious implications hit the woman like a volley of arrows. He was asking if her endgame was Dimitri's romantic interest.
The meaning behind his words had her stagger, not expecting that kind of inquiry. It was... not impossible to suspect, but the traitor gave the other an incredulous look. Why would anyone think that she of all people would seek to seduce the monarch? She was a former authority figure in his life, but that far-fetched fantasy was five years old. She was no professor, not anymore. Byleth shook her head accordingly after the words set in. "I only wish to see justice prevail and to restore the peace. I believe that lending my blade to Dimitri is my wisest option."
"I see," His solemn answer was normally unnerving to most. Even if they were not particularly close, their interactions around the monastery had her discerning his nature fairly quickly. Behind his intimidating visage, he was surprisingly thoughtful. "What was it that made you reach that conclusion?"
There was to be no end with the questions. Not that the green-haired woman minded, but she had not expected him to continue to extend their conversation. This question brought her momentary pause. The sound of the wind's call and light snoring was all that could be heard in her silence. "Being with Edelgard made me realize that Dimitri's idea of justice fits my interests. There have been far too many deaths. So many innocent people have died and will die in order to achieve the Emperor's plan."
Dedue nodded to her words. "His majesty does seek to bring justice. Even if he abhors killing, blood will be shed. Are you prepared for that?"
There was only a short pause, given for those that were bound to die. Yet, she chose her path. There was no more room for doubt. "For the sake of peace, I will do whatever is asked of me." Fighting a war for peace, it was a contradictory statement. Byleth knew how she would only be fueling a bloody cycle. However, it was all for the sake of deposing a warmonger. And while Edelgard fought for her own vision of peace, Byleth wanted the Adrestian's war to close.
"... Hm, that is acceptable." The tall man nodded to her words and stood. The low visibility and dying flame made his upper half shrouded in darkness. The rest of his body, sure enough, disappeared from her sight as he vanished into the night, likely returning to his liege's side.
Silence reigned only for mere minutes. The crackling of the fire was a soothing sound. Byleth cherished the moment, longing for the continent to know this kind of serenity. But, she was no longer alone.
As soon as Dedue departed, another familiar face joined Byleth at the campfire. Unlike with the vigilant retainer, the new presence was announced with a whimsical hum before the other sat down on a nearby log. The saintly attire and that familiar sandy blonde hair were dead giveaways for her visitor. The night's shroud failed to obscure her company. Byleth's mint-eyes caught the ever kind smile of Mercedes. "Do you mind if I take this seat?" The warmth in her voice was akin to the heat of the flame.
Byleth offered a nod and watched as the other sat beside her. Her request was for more than just a quiet companionship. "What's the matter?" Her mind wandered back to her late-night conversations with Edelgard. The white-haired girl was plagued with nightmares. And somehow, the green-haired woman felt inclined to listen. Their chats at odd hours were what built their friendship. And ultimately, it was what swayed her to protect her over following Rhea's orders.
The blonde giggled at the question. "Did you notice me waiting for you to finish talking with Dedue?"
The green-haired woman shook her head. The timing did make sense in hindsight. "It was a hunch. You had a bad dream, right?" It was somewhat bold of her to intrude a personal thought. Yet, she assumed that the older woman planned on opening up the matter herself.
Her assumption was soon confirmed with a nod. Mercedes offered only a contemplative gaze. "I would not call it a bad dream. It was pleasant, but it invoked some memories. It's these memories that I wished to approach you on."
It was confusing to think that the dream itself was not the point of contention. It only served to spark this inciting incident, nothing more. The other seemed far more intent on what she remembered. "Why me?" The former professor asked.
It was a legitimate question. Byleth was not particularly close to the woman. Even if they had light-hearted conversations throughout the journey to Fhirdiad, there was nothing that made her the most approachable person for personal matters. Byleth swore that the priestess was on far friendlier terms with the fortress knight that left the fire's audience. Though, the answer was obvious once the other opened up. "My memory involved my brother, Emile. I remembered hearing reports of the Death Knight being present for the seizure of Bridge of Myrddin and the capture of Derdriu. You fought alongside him, right?"
Her brother and the Death Knight... It only hit her then the strong resemblance between Jeritza and Mercedes. They shared the same hair and eye color. Once again, hindsight hit her like an arrow. "Yes, I did. What of it?" Byleth had no clue what her intent was in asking. Would Mercedes hold it against the former professor that she fought alongside her sibling?
"There's nothing wrong," Mercedes was quick to reassure. Her voice succeeded in disarming any of Byleth's doubts on that matter. "I wanted to ask... how is he?" Her awkwardness in asking told of her conflicted feelings on the matter. It appeared that she still cared for her sibling, even if he fought for the Empire.
It only felt right to speak honestly on the matter. On the battlefield, he was the terror known as the Death Knight. He wielded his scythe as if it were made of paper. He appeared to have no qualms spilling blood and trampling over enemy corpses with his horse. And outside of battle, he was... something else. "I did not talk much with him, but I did have a conversation. I approached him as he was eating a bowl of ice cream." It was a far-fetched idea to most, but she was sure that the fact may mean something to her conversational partner.
Mercedes gawked at the news. "Ice cream?" Her disbelief was palpable. Perhaps, the other did not take the former professor's words seriously.
"Yes?" The former professor responded in a confused tone. She was unsure if she misspoke or said something silly. It was not exactly groundbreaking news to share the Imperial general's interesting choice of palette. If anything, it was a fun tidbit that would get herself killed if it spread. Jeritza seemed very guarded about his habits.
The confusion dissipated soon after. A kind smile returned to her face. "Sorry about that. I was, well, shocked, and relieved to hear that. Emile always had a sweet tooth you see. It makes me happy to know that he has not changed too much."
Her words explained her behavior easily. Considering the Death Knight's habits, it was likely a relief to know that he was still similar to her brother. Byleth imagined that Jeritza was not always such a brutal personality. It softened her heart to imagine him in a better light. In a sense, that was how she saw Edelgard and Hubert. Behind their crimes, she thought back fondly to better times with the two. "Mercedes, do you fear the possibility of fighting him?" The question slipped from her tongue.
It was not good form to suggest fratricide. However, the topic was somewhat relevant to her. She wanted to learn from the woman to come to terms with what will come. Mercedes's hands moved closer to the fire, taking in the heat of the flames. The crackling emitting from the campfire was soon eclipsed by the answer. "To tell you the truth, I do. No matter what he has become, he is still my Emile. He is my precious brother."
Before Byleth could respond, Mercedes continued her thought. "But, my fear will not stop me from what needs to be done. I swore myself to the Kingdom and will continue to do so. Dimitri and the others are my friends and classmates. They deserve my full support in the battles ahead." Her position was reminiscent of Byleth's reasoning. Many likely shared the same sentiment as the women at the campfire on the matter of family on opposing sides.
"Why did you ask me to tell you about him?" The green-haired woman thought back on how the other was keen on learning more of her brother. From her point of view, it seemed better to be blissful of the truth.
Mercedes tilted her head and offered a confused look. "What's wrong with asking?"
"Would it not be easier to face him oblivious of if he's still the brother you remember?" Granted, her comments on Jeritza were minute. She only knew the man had an interest in ice cream. That was hardly enough to humanize it. And yet, it likely correlated with Mercedes' cherished memories.
"When the day comes that he and I must face him, I would like to have a strong face. Knowing he is still my Emile, I will not need to hesitate over if it's truly him. I will have no doubts. I will be able to keep myself from... crying." Her pause had Byleth redirect her gaze to her present company. She was shocked to see the pain on the other's expression. Mercedes' eyes were clouded by moisture. Tears trickled down her cheeks. It was seeing her sorrow that the former professor understood the meaning behind her response. It was better to cry then than on the battlefield. She would not need to shed tears or think of her sorrow when the confrontation arrived.
Byleth offered a hand. She patted the other's shoulder and turned her eyes to the sky. Her battle, thankfully, was not with her family. Sadly, Mercedes had the misfortune of being on opposing sides with her sibling. The thought of facing off against her father, Jeralt, did not sit right. It was wrong to turn one's weapon against kin. "You are far stronger than you appear," She conceded.
"The war has changed us all. Even if I may not seem all that different, these past few years have been difficult on everyone." The sorrow in her tone foretold the extent of the war on the poor woman. Everyone seemed so different from their academy days. Any innocence and optimism was drained away to jaded realism or remorse. From her students to the Lions, they were all shackled by burdens.
"I wish it never came to any of this," Byleth admitted. The warmth of the fire was alien to her. She felt frozen in her regrets. A part of her wondered if she should have turned her sword on Edelgard in the Holy Tomb. If she did so, perhaps the war would have ended then and there. So many would not have needed to die.
The unspoken words did little to bother Mercedes. "About my brother, there is a particular memory that plagues me. When my mother and I escaped House Bartels, we had to leave him behind. Seeing what he has become now... He is still my Emile, but he's changed. The Death Knight is him, and yet it is completely unlike the kind boy I once knew." The personal information weighed heavily on the former professor. It gave her a perspective to work off of.
"Do you still regret your choice?" Byleth finally asked. She thought back to her betrayal at the Holy Tomb. If only she was wise enough to turn her blade on Edelgard, then this great tragedy could have been avoided.
There was a solemn nod in return. The melancholic expression on her only brought an ache to the other female. "Every day. If only I made that risk, maybe I would get to see his smile once more. Instead, we have to spill each other's blood. It's not right, but I have resigned myself to what comes next. For the sake of Fódlan and my friends, I am ready." Her determination was conflicted by her anguish. The cleric too was struggling. And, her words inspired Byleth to think more of her present circumstances.
It was obvious that what would come was not about to be pretty. If the opportunity ever arose again, Byleth needed to put Edelgard down permanently. It was her duty as someone sworn to the King that she do so. "I cannot say I saw him smile, but he seemed to be enjoying those sweets greatly."
Byleth knew how much her words were worth and yet she still stated her observation. The warmth returning to Mercedes's face told her that she made a fine call. "Thank you, Byleth. I... still love him. So, I am happy to know that the Emile I knew is alive." She stood after saying that much. Her eyes wandered to her tent. "Don't be a stranger." Mercedes left her spot beside the fire in favor of her makeshift cot.
With that, the mercenary was the only one at the fire's side. Though, she was quick to retire after a few more moments staring into the source of the heat. Her mind harkened her back to the Flame Emperor at Remire. At that moment in time, she did not believe a single word from the individual. The harbinger of the tragedy was her enemy and one not to be trusted by any metric. And, she did so. At the moment of truth, she stood beside her sworn enemy. The villain in cahoots with her father's murderers became her ally for a time.
Her choice that day brought her stress every waking moment. Even when she was still aligned with Edelgard, she was not blind to the perpetrator of the violence. The thoughts were like a thick miasma. It made it impossible to breathe. It taxed her brain to rationalize her decision. The strain was what allowed her to sleep.
It was a pattern henceforth. The following nights saw a similar pattern of relying on her overworked mind to bring her to slumber. It was not healthy, not when it was showing in her eyes. Her brimming confidence for the road ahead was eclipsed by her self-loathing. At any rate, she was bound to be depleted of time pulses. Her slumber was quinntessential for restoring her ability. It was why Sothis rested so often. The toll of playing with time demanded her health.
That consistency was shattered by a tap on the shoulder. Her eyes snapped open to find no one else present. A phantom sensation seemed to be what roused her from her bliss. Her eyes shot around again, wondering what was the cause. Surprisingly, the green-haired woman had no nightmares to blame for the occurrence.
Not only was she lacking a culprit, she was lacking the ability to return to sleep. The disturbance had her alert. Her instincts were quiet. There were no prying eyes on her. Rather, she felt possessed by the idea that something was needing her attention. Byleth slowly rose from her spot, steady enough not to draw attention to herself. Her shape was shrouded by darkness. Tree cover clouded the moonlight.
It was a sound in the distance that drew her from the camp. Curiosity got the better of her. And with a divine pulse, her childish impulses could easily be rectified. Her walk only cost her a few minutes, some spent avoiding the overgrowth of the nearby trees. Eventually, she arrived at her, supposedly, intended destination.
It was nothing special. The moon's glow illuminated a small patch of land. Her eyes naturally gravitated toward the shadow. Or rather, the individual that shrouded the light. His looming figure was reminiscent of the ghosts. However, he was far from ethereal. The grass beneath him was crushed by his weight. He was no enigmatic specter.
Her eyes squinted on the frame. His stature was... enormous. By no means as large as Dedue, but there was only one that guided her thoughts. His messy blonde hair and faint shades of blue on his armor told her who she was gawking at. The king himself stood alone in that field, his gaze fixed on the night sky.
Her ears perked at the grumbles that his lips. "Father, please... I will have her head." The words were faint. They required Byleth to walk closer to the spectacle.
"I- Glenn, goddess, I will avenge you. I will avenge you all. Give me time. Please give me more time," He was not speaking to stars. He was speaking to his phantoms. Byleth recognized his strife immediately. Even if she was not in an opportune position to see his troubled expression, she was well aware of his emotions from her emotions. The way he spoke was identical to her words shared with Claude.
Only, there was no reassurance. The way his voice cracked gave her the chance to glimpse into the conversation. His ghosts were not pleased. "Her head... It will be detached. Her body will be torn to pieces. You all will be satisfied. I... How many times must I tell you?" There was only pain in his voice. All his hope was channeled toward something... evil. She was unsure of what else to call what he said. It was something that she would have expected of the Death Knight.
Byleth was not about to absolve Edelgard of her crimes, but it was her smallest hope that her student was given a simple death. She wanted her to pass away without struggle, the executioner's blade hopefully. Her hand clenched at the thought. She had no room for sentimentality, not after she let Hubert go.
"No! No... She is no distraction. None of them are. They... will serve my mission well. My revenge will be fulfilled," His pitiful tone turned toward something viler. Darkness permeated his tone. She did not need to see his eyes to know of the depravity reflected in the pupils.
Dimitri was not her student, nor did they participate in any missions together. They had little that unified them. That being said, his struggle was familiar. His guilt was apparent. Byleth knew little of the Tragedy of Duscur, but she was a person that made a great effort to immerse herself in Fódlan's culture. Her narrow worldview had her at a disadvantage surrounded by so many nobles. It often settled on the likes of Ferdinand to assist in her education. In terms of Faerghus's recent history, she understood the king's troubled past. He was a survivor of something so brutal.
Her circumstances did not compare. Her guilt grew from her budding warpath. She carved a path of corpses, ranging from the likes of the Alliance alumni to her fellow teachers. She turned her back on everyone and stained the world red. Her incompetence was what stained her hands crimson. "Dimitri..."
Feral eyes shot her direction. Rather than be greeted by an awkward smile or an embarrassed chuckle, he charged at her and took her by the collar. The monstrous gaze harkened back to Felix's words. He was right, and she had a great task ahead. The same king that welcomed her with a smile snarled at her.
It took several seconds for his eyes to soften and for the darkness to recede. His hostility vanished in the span of seconds. Dimitri went from tormented to ashamed. "Professor...?"
The woman offered a sheepish nod in confirmation. "Oh... Oh! My apologies! I didn't mean to wake you. What ails you, my friend?" He was too quick to brush aside his episode. The woman felt uncertain on how to proceed, unsure if it was time to pry into his inner thoughts.
"Are you alright?" Her eyes showed only awareness, no room for concern or confusion. It was her thought to remain unnerved by what she witnessed.
He was quick to fall back on his softer side. "I am perfectly fine. Fret not. It was just a bad dream, nothing more." Though, his eyes flashed to fear. Beneath his regal visage, there was never-ending darkness. Byleth thought back to when she was dragged into the other realm by Solon. There was nothing in all directions. The traitor was not even sure if she was standing or falling. Even if it was mere moments before Sothis dragged her to her throne room, the sight was overwhelming. The feelings were similar. He was trapped there.
Byleth was unsure about how to proceed. The change in personalities was all too sudden. "Dimitri, I don't mind talking about it," Byleth stated bluntly.
The king preferred to act ignorant of her words. His smile remained courteous yet shallow. "What is there to discuss? I barely remember my dream anymore."
"Are you certain?" The former professor pressed once more. There was little she could do other than continue to suggest the thought.
Dimitri hummed and nodded his head, but his crystal blue eyes revealed some uncertainty. It was enough for her to make her attempt. The woman was focused on fulfilling Felix's concerns and assuring the Kingdom's victory, enough to test her luck on her only ally at the moment. "I heard you call out to your father and Glenn moments ago. Does that give any insight into your dream?"
The royal blinked at the mention of the two. His gaze momentarily darkened. "I am afraid not," He responded coldly. He was not in the mood to take the hint.
The female had little to work with. She was not exactly in a position to prod. Considering the subject matter, she was not playing it safe. He was not in the mood to open himself up to conversation. And yet, Byleth was not ready to give up. "Let me help you. I know what you must be going through."
Her concern and assumption were met with another glimpse into his primal emotions. He outright leered at her, the very woman that had him stumbling over his words weeks prior. "You don't know anything," He hissed. It was only after his outburst that he returned to his senses.
His expression turned meek yet territorial. He looked apologetic, but he was not about to answer her implications. "I am tired, professor. Please allow me the time to sleep." Dimitri practically begged for her to end their talk there.
"Very well..." Her words trailed off there. She had nothing more to say on the matter. There was little room for negotiation, especially when her conversation partner looked ready to retire. "Goodnight, Dimitri."
"Goodnight, Byleth."
Though, sleep was hard to attain. The traitor struggled once again to return to her slumber. Her mind went back to what awoke her. For what reason was she roused from her slumber? Her mind firstly went to Dedue and Mercedes. There was some reason to believe that they wanted her to see him. And yet, she was skeptical of the theory.
Dedue was very protective of his lord. His trust in her was variable. He seemed convinced to believe her motives, but the worth of Dimitri's life was not enough to chance on her, especially when a traitor was involved. Besides, he needed both trust in her as a person and her abilities. She gave him no reason to believe she could save Dimitri.
As for Mercedes, that possibility was a lot less likely than the retainer. Again, Byleth was not the professor for the Lions. She knew little of their habits. However, the long journey gave her enough chances to see the older woman enter a deep sleep and not be stirred until morning. She was likely not awake at that odd hour.
And on top of all that, there was not a soul around her when she arose. She heard no footsteps or any indication of a visitor. Her eyes wandered her space, looking for any sort of clues. The cover of darkness was not enough to obscure the ground. Only her tracks remained in the dirt. Not another pair to be seen.
She did find her answer before passing out again. A figure manifested within eyeshot of her. The grainy appearance coupled with a blank face told that the specters were involved. From the distance between her and the entity, it was hard to say who in particular. Whatever the case, she was far too tired to think more on the matter. Byleth was fast asleep in mere moments. She needed her rest for their arrival the next day.