We've both been running for quite some time now. Douchebag is ahead of me and I'm failing to catch up with him. I've been running for quite some time and I now start to grow weary and exhausted. "Douchebag!" I pant and stop before throwing up on the road.

"Coon?!" I hear him shout. I hear his rushing footsteps approach me before he leans down next to me. "Coon come on! We have time! We're nearly there! Just one more block. Come on. You can get up can't ya?"

I shake my head and throw up again. The acid is coming up as I sniffle and groan out in pain. "Just go without me! Fix the timeline!"

He rolls his eyes and sighs deeply. "You're gonna come with me and you're gonna help me. Now come on. Get up and stop being such a little bitch." He picks me up and carries me over his shoulder. I throw up again on the way there as I try to not get it all over his costume.

"Are…are we there yet?!" I shout.

"Yes, we're here, fatass. Come on!" He sets me down and breaks into the shop. I follow behind and drag myself towards a chair to sit down. "Dude this is fucking hell…"

"You're telling me. I mean this beats being in that genetic lab. That was a real mindfuck and a half."

"Oh, yeah I forgot about that event…you got us all stuck…"

"Because of Mitch, who is also you! Oh, that reminds me," He walks up to me and punches my face before slapping me with my own hand. "That's for pretending to be Mitch. I have to do the same with Kyle."

"Dude…that hurts…"

"Shut it cheesy poof. Alright, enough arguing and yelling. We have to find that burrito recipe. You remember how it went?"

"Seven layer Quessarito Chipotle Beefy Nacho Supreme…"

"Wow. You really are a fatass." He goes to make the burrito and stares at it and looks at me. "Cartman?"

"Yeah…?"

"If this goes sideways, and it probably will, then we're going to fight our way again. No saving each other. If those woodland creatures come up again…we're fucked."

I nod and realize something. "Wait, don't eat that burrito just yet!"

"Why not?"

"Stan…"

"He's dead, Cartman. He's fucking dead! Why did you even mention-"

"You mentioned the woodland creatures. Stan knew the creatures."

"Dude! Seriously? You mention that out of all topics?!"

"There's a-"

"I'm just gonna eat this burrito." He sighs deeply and I may have an answer to all of this but he's not listening. I threw my claws at him but it was too late as he already took a bite and finished the burrito. "Cartman! Brace yourself!"

"DOUCHEBAG! NO!" I shout at him. I cover my eyes as a bright white flash covers the shop and a loud high pitch rings throughout the area. I scream and cover my ears as the pitch keeps growing louder every second.

"ALMOST THERE!" Douchebag shouts and suddenly, it all stops. I quickly uncover my ears and look around to see snow and Christmas lights up. "Fucking hell not again."

"You did it again…" I say softly.

"I know. Well, let's hope no one is cheesed." He opens the door and I follow behind, and sure enough, everyone in the town is cheesed and on the streets. "Oh, goddamnit!"

I breathe shakily since this means one thing. Mitch is back in office. I look around to find evidence and I walk up to a poster board that reads an ad. "Hey, Douche? Come look at this."

"What is it?" He walks over and I take the ad off of the light pole.

"This. This ad. It's Mitch again."

He grabs it from my hands and examines the ad. "No, it's not. This isn't his insignia. It;s someone else's. Whose signature is this…?"

"I don't know." I glance at the back before seeing some ink on it. "Turn it around. Something's on the back of it."

Douchebag turns it around and looks at the writing. "To whomever reads this, you're too late. Things are out of control and both parties are disbanded. We no longer can fight against this evil and are too late to save anyone. We are in great need of help. Signed, Freedom Pals and Coon and Friends."

"What…? Who were they fighting?! And why is it a joint operation?" I look at the paper before hearing a person make a noise. We both look and it's Stan.

"S-Stan?" I approach him cautiously. "Stan?"

Stan twitches his eye and jumps out to attack me. "CARTMAN!"

I punch Stan in the gut and toss him to the side. "STAN! WHAT THE FUCK!"

He wipes his mouth and looks at me all funny. "Cartman. By order of Freedom Pals and Coon and Friends, you are hereby executed."

Douchebag looks at him then back at me then back at Stan. "Stan. Relax. What happened?"

Stan looks at Douchebag with teary eyes. "Douchebag? I thought…how are you…"

"Oh, I'm not your timeline's Douchebag nor is this your timeline's Cartman. We need your help and saw the note. Come on now…easy up…" He slowly stands in front of me and puts his arms out.

Stan shakes his head in worry. "He's a killer! HE'S A MURDERER! He killed you! You knew who killed Karen didn't you?! You knew! Cartman killed you because you fucking knew!"

I look at him and shake my head. "No, no I wouldn't kill Karen! I know I wouldn't do that!"

"Shut it cupcake! Listen here. He's your enemy! He's the one-" A sudden laser beam shoots across us, hitting the pole. "What the?!"

Douchebag and I turn around and see the woodland critters standing before us. "Oh, shit..Stan! Run!"

Stan shakes his head and stands next to Douchebag. "You two don't stand a fair chance if it's seven against two. Your asses will get kicked. Might as well make it a bit fair. I still don't trust Cartman but if you can vouch for him, then I'll trust you, Douchebag. Eric? You're lucky he's here." He puts on his toolbelt and grips his screwdrivers.

Douchebag nods at me before I nod back.

"Stan? What do you have in mind?" I ask.

"You and Douchebag try to take defensive positions. Circle around the hard hitting and healers first. They're all going to be circling around us if we don't act quick. Since there's three, they'll have five."

"And where do you want me, Stan?" Douchebag looks at him.

"Stay next to Cartman. If things get dire, we split and meet at the lair."

"Alright then. Coon?"

I nod and put on my gold claws. "Let's make some reindeer food out of these fuckers."