I'm sorry that I broke you down

I'm sorry that I thought it through

I'm sorry that I looked and run

I couldn't keep up, good enough

And with a flourish of a mantelbird the first stage was there. They were coming in swarms of busy rumble and buzzing energy with flying measuring tapes and digital pads to acknowledge everybody's sizing and whatnots.

The annual departmental measuring for the Gala. Neal was petrified to the state of horror just by the sound of it. He really felt deep conflict of the event.

But Peter pushed through as if they were about to crack a case.

It was now about a week before they'd be gathered up for the stuff and it was anticipated maybe by the day Neal's monitoring device could come off already. He started to feel even worse after those news.

God, he'd do everything to get rid of it back home but here…. Here he had nothing else to attach. His severe detachment issues and terrible mental state alone should make him earn a granted place if not by Peter's side then possibly elsewhere. Most likely some institution for mental crackers.

He wasn't feeling up for it. Never was. It was a scary thought.

Maybe even more than the Gala.

He was lined up as the last of measurements for the day. Most departments had been up for it week before. Mostly due to them being regulars and just needing tiny smidges of adjustment for their suits.

Since they came from elsewhere and were the new crowd they get the last lineup. So be it. Neal dreaded anything and everything anyway. He was more nervous than ever but made attempt to keep himself in. Not a hitch out of place. He just must be ready for the stuff. Because there could be an easy out if he truly needed. They could take his sizes and then on the day he'd make himself sick and stay in his room until it was done.

The insecurities flooding out of the man and all he could do was to plaster his fakest of dazzling smiles on his face and bedazzle the elderly woman coming for his robes. Because obviously there was an intricate procedure in the whole thing and they'd need various dress ups.

Besides somebody decided it would do good if he got sized already for his future suits and clothing as he would be due for test time over soon anyway. So be it.

They slipped behind a curtained off door and the lady was setting up. Small chat to ease up him while she took in visuals on her pad and reset her tape.

"I see you're new here. Must be the Earthling that came while ago. " she drawled in an accent different from all Neal had ever heard.

"That's correct, ma'am. Evacuation from planet Earth long ago. It feels so long already. " he admitted cautiously.

"No need to worry my friend. It's all going to be alright. Changes always take time to adjust." She acknowledged. With that she begun measuring process.

"You know, I once saw another young man, just like you. He even had the same eye color as you. The very exact tone. Don't suppose you've got any twins?" She said while stretching the tape across Neal's shoulders from behind. Which was good since the look of terror in the ex-con's eyes would be too much.

Neal felt his heart hammering away in his chest. He still thought it couldn't be possible because as far as his memory served he never had any siblings. Just a dirty cop father and mother too far gone to take care of him so the father's partner and family's closest friend took care of young Neal. No, he refused to believe something was amiss. He'd know.

"Must be just somebody resembling me then. I was the only child besides I once heard we all have our doppelgänger somewhere." Neal replied her thankful his voice didn't waver. He'd never talked of his young days with anyone, not even Mozzie. All Peter knew was that Neal was in WitSec because of his father. It was last piece they discussed as the matter arose and now he couldn't even seek for more information from Ellen.

"Oh honey, don't you worry. I could've just been mistaken. Pay no mind to an old woman's musings. " she replied with a kind touch to Neal's cheek and begun measuring his neck and head.

For what exactly Neal had no idea but supplied it was probably also for his future clothing or maybe a new suit as he noted several of the main team being on friendly terms with the woman.

But he wasn't in the mood for deeper investigation. Like lately he was mostly drawn and low. His mental state was obviously affected by some weird moods and thoughts after the move. Or maybe the cryogenic sleep state was to do with it. Who knew, he wasn't space traveler nor a scientist. That would probably be another lecture in conspiracy theories from Mozzie had he been there. And if the ex-con admitted to himself he was dearly missing his friend.

"I'm sure you'll be just fine. The time will pass and you'll get better. I hope this leg and wrist accessories will soon be lifted so you can live more as you feel. It must be depressing to have monitoring all the times. " she mused almost to herself.

To which Neal just chuckled. "I hope they do. I was said that it might happen much sooner and I truly hope for it. People usually dislike such décor and I believe being invited into such majestic event would be only my own displeasure if I had to wear these. "

And it was truth. He hated them. At the same time it was his only tether to the reality and his life. In fact Neal was splendid afraid of his own mind for when they do come off. It was a thought too scary at the moment.

"Oh sweetie, dear boy , don't you let that fear eat you up before your time. It's most definitely going to be alright. And I can see all the change is already done damage to your body. Maybe consider someone to talk to. And before you say anything it does help. I am completely certain of it. "

With a gentle yet assuring squeeze of his shoulder the tape line and pad made beep and he took his cue to be dismissed. "Thank you, ma'am." He said as she smiled and nodded her head.

But her words kept echoing in his mind throughout the rest of the day. He sensed Peter becoming the moment the more worried. Though he kept his concern to himself for now. So when they arrived back to office Neal finally decided to try and look up his file once more. And just as he finalized his plan something came up that needed them get on the go while all the consultants were left behind. Obviously Neal wasn't yet allowed in the field so he didn't even tried to make a sound unlike some of the others who begun whining.

Besides Neal had just a mission in mind.

I didn't hear you leave

I wonder how am I still here

And I don't want to move a thing

It might change my memory

It took the man quite a moment to break into his file but he tried his best and hid all the trace. Now there would be WitSec to deal with. He knew their system was all to delicate and under construction for time being. But they've done most of their servers moved over to lineup in different places for security and reachability. They've come prepared years before. Basically all what Mozzie suspected had happened in the span of short time and that's when Neal realized Mozzie knew more than he ever imagined possible.

For what reasons and how was up to the man himself.

He didn't show anything and said equally nothing as the team returned and Neal was let go home.

And for that he was thankful. Even if Peter's strange stare said something was on the man's mind he brushed it off and played possum. For now he didn't want to alarm anyone and make Peter worried.

Only back in his lonely room Neal breathed a relieved breath he didn't know he was even holding. Something he was strangely aware of just this moment. But with nothing better to do he started to take off his work clothes. The sleeve tugged onto his wrist tracker they also had recently changed out for some reason he couldn't recall now. The sleeve of the layer of oversuit was caught in the strap and from the looks it wasn't really coming off with mild force. Slightly panicked he tried again but it could possibly be stuck in the clasp mechanism. Which was always something Neal worried about. There was one instance he'd suffered the said clasp being stuck tightly and because of that Neal had nearly drowned for real as his foot got trapped in some underwater mush and since clasp wasn't giving he couldn't do anything than drown. Which he did for short period of time. But they got him out once they realized he hasn't come up.

Another time he was trying to escape some haggard folks in the less lived-in conditions which resulted in Neal catching a wire by the side of the tree and just as he slid down the slope another trigger came alive and he was propelled into air by the trap. Most likely hand made DIY trap also likely illegal too. And thanks to his anklet he was stuck in the loose wire because it wasn't letting past the monitor device. Unfortunate enough however five minutes later something did snap heavily and while he was swinging himself up closer to lowest branch of the tree to try and at least hold on to something to ease the pain and pressure it gave way and Neal flew. He barely made a sound as the gravity did enough of its own sick game and made him land extremely painfully several feet lower on hard rocks.

By the time they came for him Neal had lost consciousness and bled out some. After that day there was tough design discussions within the FBI and law enforcement in general.

Neal just stayed at Peter's house and let El mother-hen him back to health.

He stared at the bracelet and suddenly punched the wall in frustration. The crack that resonated throughout the room was deafening but he felt no pain. Almost as if gone numb. It only served as more fuel to his sudden anger outburst. Next thing he registered was trashing and crashing of his room. He didn't even notice his own screams. Stopping only when he couldn't move a muscle anymore. And even then not for much longer than to pass out on the floor. Luckily for his own mind the rooms in the complex were mostly soundproof so nobody heard anything. But also not too luckily because only person who'd come to rescue was too far away.

I've seen fire and I've seen rain

I've seen sunny days

That I thought would never end

I've seen lonely times

When I could not find a friend

But I always thought that I'd see you again