I break down, fear is sinking in

The cold comes, racing through my skin

Searching for a way to get to you

Through the storm you...

Go, giving up your home

Go, leaving all you've known

You are not alone

It was chilly outside and slight wind blew Noel's now long-ish hair. He waited for the assistants to grab his backpack and unfold the chair. Somewhere, possibly the state base, it was decided he's gonna be in the chair full time, most likely after that flimsy moment of loosing the control over his own body in the moment of emotion, so nobody even tried to offer him any choice over that. He was expected to arrive and maintain his chair accessory the whole night with somebody being available for assistance at all times.

So he kept his mouth shut for once. He obviously made a scene enough for those in command to take action and somehow he suspected it was in fact very far from his actual health issues.

And now he was expected to be this neat dude with manners and actually behave because he wasn't in the protection of a starship intimacy. He was out of the cocoon for all universe to see on television and whatnot. The local media seemed to shadow what it once used to be on Earth. Same tabloid style quick gossip pools and all the other shit. And then there was this side of highly sophisticated media that analyzed the shit out of everything and debated over the high quality stuff only seriously devoted could even grasp at.

He did neither. Only thing Noel ever had followed closely was news. The quick list of most highlights of the day and most importantly criminal activity. That flash type of information flow was what he was interested in. All because of that distant yet still powerful past. One that once held quite some promise but wilted like a desert flower at the end of the monsoon. And yet he kept hoping for some miracle while now attached to a mechanical device like an AI interwoven with its metal parts.

And he did feel that way most of his life. This was exactly like his commander would like him to be. Tethered to a controllable things without a way to be his own person and do stuff the way he wanted. Being tethered was clearly the way federation wanted him be for the rest of his life so they could feel safe from yet another rebel out there. And yes, Noel was a rebel. Always had been.

Even way before the escape Noel has been the rebellious one. And of course Samara too. They've always been trouble makers and that made them too dangerous. Eventually life did it's own corrections before anyone else could and so the Federation could care less. But that never gave that freedom to any of them. As far as he'd heard there were few more that went similar way and since then either was never heard of or became tethered to some shit like a position or other shit. Yeah, escapees were never fully free especially those that became public spot of shame to the whole system. FoPU was always into them because to society being a known rebel and anti-movement that became dangerous.

And true, they all were danger to anyone because they could kill without a blink and do any crime without leaving a mark. Because the training included all that crap from performing a perfect crime to erasing absolutely any single mark of that. And all the government and every single law and military to whatever else was there got completely terrified and paranoid. So in other words they could not pull any control over any of the metas from the project however slowly letting the fate right itself for each of them. So Noel got this issue after receiving deathly enough and definitely extremely strong force field explosion load which literally made his body fly up in the air only to find gravitational force to pull him low down on the ground, breaking his body in half and then some. That was the part that took him down from high and simply tethered him to a control of the Federation of Planets United.

And it left his closest person ever also broken and not that free anymore.

Nate's always been the low and calculated of them. His outer peace was strong and reassuring so most higher ups didn't take his sneaky persona too much into consideration. And all that thanks to his own idea to downplay all of the potential. Because nobody ever took the guy seriously for some strange reason and that's been quite some nice playground as a way of manipulation.

All until the aforementioned force field explosion took the very angry jolt of pure electricity and crashed itself right through the man's body, his chest the more precise. And there happened many things that went wrong and several that righted themselves on spot.

One being the gene mutation that happened for some reason nobody wanted to explain but only told of possible twin of Nate's. Because there shouldn't be actual twins where one was only supposed to be cloned. That would go way against the ideals and stuff. It was also very unpredictable outcome those science men hated to deal with.

But what was righted that nobody could help with was the illness that came with the initial cell separation into two. Nate got to take one illness with his side and whoever was his twin actually got another illness. Combined they would either kill them very young or mutated into something entirely else that was even more terrifying and would kill later. Gene mutations that became illnesses always were unpredictable when genetic engineering came along and with some DNA markings being less prominent of others so in the end of anything went unnoticed right away there always was risk of something weird to happen.

In Nate's case the incident fixed that part of his genetic illness that made it a killer but it didn't stop the rest of it.

Noel knew of his friend's lung disease. Sure he never told but he was aware somebody fucked up and then missed some shit so his dear brother and lover of a short moment got some freak ass shit ruining his life and then the whole thing almost killed him by nearly shredding his heart. Luckily the heart thing was fixable and only left mild symptoms. The most worrisome part was the lungs. And maybe, just maybe that head injury, Nate seemingly keeps off radar all the time.

Thing was that Nate suffered terrible brain trauma and was left with residual symptoms that seemed to not interfere too much. He had that one himself as well from meeting the ground from too many feet high and way more than comfortable feet-per-second too fast and almost literally scattering his brains out on the tarmac. And he should be dead now since the sheer amount of force rattled his brain so heavily they had to practically scoop it up and freeze a bit until all the bloody mess was sorted out and then put back together. To this day Noel still can feel the connection where the bone that held his brains in got shattered and glued back once the puzzle pieces were all identified. The parts that left the terrain of his head uneven while his brain was still slightly shaken. But with his broken body it was not the worst outcome since he was sitting for some years before his disconnected synapses fired again and allowed some improvements. From C5 complete he recovered to approximate T8-10 incomplete with minor T2-4 incomplete on one side on very bad days. Which was nearly all of them.

Before he could sit up again he suffered from his brain injury a lot more and before he could even breathe on his own he had many accidents because his brain kept trying to move his body while his muscles argued back that they had no tone. It was often the fight that ended with him face-down by the bed and struggling for air as the fall usually tore out the breathing tube.

That one was its own story as well. Mostly because they decided not to intubate for longer than just the first few weeks due to some other damage to his trachea that's revealed itself slightly on the shy side but sneakily nonetheless. So that one kinda slipped after he was assigned for tracheostomy while being in comatose so after waking up very long time after it stayed there along with his ancient knee issue. Strange how much medical shit slipped off once situation became exciting and then lowered down again.

And his file also kept its mouth shut so he sighed in relief.

Nonetheless the whole FoPU still hoped he'd been comatose long enough for his brain to forget lot more than just that one thing.

Maybe he still could pull off the evening, well, he had to, Nate was his priority and Fleet wouldn't dare much due to his unique status as disabled asset. Which was another point in his silent agreement.

Yes, somebody had tried to kill him long time ago. A person that held more meaning than he once believed and someone he still held dear. And sure there were many reasons behind their mutual disagreement and all that went off back in the day that led to few things in between and certain someone sustaining injuries that got hidden from official reports. Though to this day the scars were all there for eyes willing to see and he didn't care about that anymore. If the mood was right he'd spin a tale or two to get the real reason where it belonged.

Nate asked few times but Noel just said things happened and it's just a lesson he'd learned and dealt with. The boy wasn't one to pry. He just nodded and moved on. Maybe he just let it go because there will be one day in the future he'd hear it anyway. That was how much patience his kiddo had. Samara never could keep her nose away and River always needed to know. Serenity, Kayla and Sky never sat in peace while they could scrape away for juicy parts. One more reason Noel felt so close with the slightly young man. I

And one more light in the endless darkness.

With arms up stretched into the sky

With eyes like echoes in the night

Hiding from the hell that you've been through

Silent one, you...

His eyes roamed across the place like hawk's. He looked into every corner and fold before he allowed himself to see the crowd. Many nods and half waves got sent his way and he kept slightly crooked half smile on his face.

It never truly reached his eyes though.

Many stared anyway.

He was all nicely dressed up but one could still see the scars on his face, the fluffy slightly long-ish hairstyle that somehow let his lightly curled hair show. The ash blonde tone taken up more grey hue from endless hours in artificial lighting and darkness. His face pale with few scars more prominent from the same conditions. He was never very tanned to begin with. Also his height hidden by the chair allowed the character shine brighter. He wasn't a tall man. Not bulky. Just the right amount of lean and muscular to be able to operate.

Obviously he had to put on the knee brace and lock the shoulder and his arm in case his spasms decided to make a show.

The vague image of the girl that destroyed everything and of the other one that also destroyed whatever was left. Samara and Serenity. His gut churned at the mere memory even thought, he just prayed the big guns will keep them away from any noise. That'd be extremely unpleasant if they added the gone girls to the mix this year.

It was mere miracle his body had improved from what it once was to somewhat functioning again. He was still strapped into all the shitload of entrapments to hold him together but it wasn't as bad now that the undersuit held it all way better and helped with the mechanics.

For a second he stared at the leg brace that held together his knee joint and joined with the ankle one that was while sleek still visible enough for him to see and feel it on his nerves.

He barely cared about the crowd as the buzz swayed in and out of focus. Captain even made it a point for somebody to keep his hearing button just in case he decides to forego all the prep.

They also made a point he takes all his meds and puts on all those braces. Like what? Did they need some visual representation of a disabled soldier? He couldn't even believe.

Sure media adored and loved the disabilities like bees used to love their honeycombs. It made them story worth noting and raised the railings enough to fucking buy that fur coat next time money rolls in.

But he had to anyway so they got lucky this time. His throat hole was still looking hideous enough so he let it show but made sure his wrist is snug as a bug in its brace. Shoulder was harder to put somewhere so he used the mobile strap this time. He couldn't feel it yet anyway.

Another issue that usually presented itself was the oxygen pocket and usual port access. He hated to show that level of vulnerability in public. Yes, there was a port accessible in his chest for many meds and treatments his condition needed. Yes, he went as far as pack the cath for emergency while still planning to attend restroom like normal person.

His leg was slowly getting rickets so for the moment he'd just sit aside.

And then he noticed the agent type from earlier next to the white haired old man of same body language group and his own Captain and Fleet unit Commander. They seemed talking quite animatedly so it must be good.

There soon joined another man and a woman both of different levels of color. And like the one man and the old guy appeared to share same office. Earth refugees. He could tell. People carried themselves in different ways depending on how long they resided on a planet or system. If they weren't locals it was visible. Hell, he was visible to locals but most claimed his manners and show has changed to some hybrid that was characterized as mix of off-planet and specifically Earth population.

No surprise there.

And he didn't care.

What was the show was other people and their outward appearance.

His eyes roamed some more and then he decided to roll around and see the place a bit more.

It wasn't before his wheels squeaked beside a stairwell and a cane was placed almost in his lap.

"Khaleesi." he simply said and lifting his head up slightly but still more eyes.

"Narcho." the lady with silver eyes and silver hair acknowledged.

She was always the one that was deemed a true mutant, a piece of art. Unfortunately her life hasn't been that forthcoming and while she kept that air of superiority and utter power she had a downside.

"Long time no see, Kayla. I thought you hated these things." Noel spoke again.

"No worries, brother, I'm here not for myself. And from what I know you hated them too." she pointed out with obvious sarcasm dripping from her voice. He watched the natural grace despite the flaws.

"Then I assume we're both kinda in the same bowl." he said simply with a twitch of eyebrows.

"Noel, you seem to be understanding that this situation isn't that pleasant, however I feel it's somewhat less sad for you. "

"That, my dear, is one very correct sensation."

"So far he just as well might've had gone already. You know this year they will pull us all out of the corners and brag about how great this community has gotten integrated into main frame and yada yada. That's purest bullshit my ears have ever heard and your eyes seen." Her voice betrayed minimal shake of anger and possibly resentment. "They ruined your freedom and made our little Ghost prisoner of his own skills, and now they are about to drag us all out and showcase as if we're some piece of their fucking art." Her voice betrayed some hot tears while her face stayed stoic.

Khaleesi or just Kayla Astrid Bergen was half-Scandinavian mix of Allegrae. Part alien, part human, she was deemed humanoid. She suffered in the Klingon-Romulan combo attack on Gaudion starbase point zero when Noel just landed to drop off supplies and gather exchange material between Gaudion and Gallon. It was a remote mission as a transported pilot two weeks after being released from rehab and signing the contract with Fleet and Federation.

Kayla was almost same as him. Her secret skill was dragon whispering and weapons. She also loved her Jellyfish crafter that she stole from scrapyard and used old parts and some less old parts to rebuild and tune up.

She was caught in the crossfire so heavily it almost ended Noel's one life. He managed to take down both armadas and neutralize enemies while cavalry arrived to help.

That was the first medal after he returned.

Kayla was blind but had many other senses to compensate. Her right leg was encased in fabulous metal and whole outfit was mixed metal and liquid silver elements. Almost as if she tried to show how cold she felt for the deal.

While Kayla was great soldier even with disabilities that also impaired her job in a way she was a rebel like Noel and others.

"Seen your heart shape yet?" She asked calmed down and cheekily.

"You still remember that." He almost sighed. There was that time on board, years ago, they shared night of buzz. And so much talk his ears burned for another week.

She'd been so amazing.

"I cannot forget memories. My Talla needs my total recall these days so I made sure to never forget what once my eyes have seen. But sight is just a tool, what most important is the inner feel. It colors your soul." Her eyes moved about where his body was. "Your soul has turned darker. Is there something bothering you?" and there, always genuine care among all that accent and cheeky attitude.

"Khaleesi. I.." he hiccuped a sudden, deeply cutting, emotion away and continued," My life's changed. My status has been made clear and I feel too scared to risk him. Besides I noted his time must be running out. Yahi told me that day these things never go away and while he's not that bad anymore the issue still bugs him. And now it's his heart I'm getting scared about. Genetics and electro trauma isn't boxing well." Her eyes blinked rapidly and silver took momentarily white tone before changing back. "I never, not for one ounce, have ever believed he would give up. And neither should you. And even if he really has a living twin it's more the reason to stay alive. What if little Danny was his twin and nobody cared to tell? Does that mean he should give up hope?" Her breath hitched slightly before last low down. "You got destroyed but still kicked your own ass to get here. Don't even begin to doubt your boy about his motives and will of living." With that she swung off. Her leg braced and stabilized by metal entraption that held what looked like engravings if ancient runes. Blind and missing half a leg the woman still possessed fierce energy and diamond hard belief in certain things.

It was yet another way to tell him that it's been just him who ever felt like giving up because there was nothing in the universe left to fight for.

Until life reminded him that his heart, while banged up, still held the capacity of loving and would lead him to the man he'd loved for so long.

You go, giving up your home

Go, you are not unknown

You are not alone

You are not unknown

You are not alone