Musing through memories

Losing my grip in the grey

Numbing the senses

I feel you slipping away

Fighting to hold on

Clinging to just one more day

Love turns to ashes

With all that I wish I could say

It was indeed far beyond what he could do about this weird situation. And yet he put on that sleek con mask he'd donned for so many years of his life he could no longer count. He once more became the person he was sort of not wishing to be anymore. Neal Caffrey lost himself so long ago that what everyone saw was no longer a real person. He has had become his own mask and it was tearing apart him on the inside.

The thing was that he struggled to do that but with the FBI on his neck he could no longer choose his life. Sure Peter would try to help, El would be very understanding and he felt even Satch was helping. But Neal was realistic. The agency turned a blind eye and showered the reassurances just to put aside the actual deciding and telling.

He knew that soon enough they will put the last word down and he will never see the light of a day. That was what he knew they will do and there was nothing left in this world to change their minds. That decision was made exactly two months ago, just the small detail of show that had to go on.

Neal always knew he had something about him that helped to be the perfect thief he was. And while his planning was impeccable and he kept some extra plans for unexpected circumstances that he rode out with creativity and wit, he also knew there was something else. Especially once the night laid it's starry blanket over the city.

Had the island had such accommodation during the events he'd slip through their fingers. All of them.

When he got shot for that smidge of a blink of an eye he almost had it. But then he faded just for a moment and blanked out. It's something that just kept happening without his meager consent.

Whatever was wrong he knew he was close to it happen again had the nice gentleman not come to his aid.

He wanted to seep into the carpet, dissolve into shadows, fade from the world…

The pull was getting incredibly and increasingly stronger by each passing second and the feeling inside was becoming too painful to maintain his mask. Luckily his slip to the side wasn't taken too interesting so he maintained his seat and kept the struggle internal. For the time being.

Every night I dream you're still here

The ghost by my side, so perfectly clear

When I awake, you'll disappear

Back to the shadows

With all I hold, dear

With all I hold, dear

I dream you're still here

It was becoming harder and harder to maintain his goal to either find Noel and stop the Roland. Nate slipped into a dark side room at the very end of the hall and crumpled on the floor. He was seriously struggling with all his might.

It was so close to the end he just wanted his love by his side. The pain in his chest was becoming unbearable and every single molecule in his body was screaming for air that he could not breathe in anymore. He just felt that within next hour his oxygen will drop even more leaving him in dire need for constant oxygen input and another hour later he may not be able to do anything about it.

At best he could still pull off couple more hours. With that thought in mind Nate did only thing he could think of. First he locked the door, then pulled the duffle to his front and pulled out his travel buddy- portable nebulizer- and spent twenty minutes breathing in his vaporized meds. This was the especially strong dose he knew he'd need. He specifically packed all the emergency and strongest doses that usually were used for even worse cases. And he maintained higher dosage per one round as well.

He took some more pills and puffed the little container harder. It had to be enough. Just while he gets to Noel. The rest could wait. He decided that was of no importance anymore.

I'd die to be where you are

I tried to be where you are

Narcho was considered a sneaky guy. He knew how to manage shit and be invisible, sometimes he got paid for it. So he also knew how to scout a building for anything cheesy or for specific thing.

He also knew the power of the shadows. That came with the bundle and the unfortunate force field explosion only tuned it up.

He wasn't that special however he was special to one person in this whole building that was in a very bad situation.

Noel hadn't said anything to Nate for one particular reason. This reason was behind the sudden outburst of emotion and insubordination on the pod. But he cared less.

Nate wasn't the only one gifted with extra abilities since that explosion and while he kept it aside and mostly used for hiding his shenanigans on the ship he also was a selfish bastard and used it to keep track of his man.

Which, in fact, led to his knowledge of what was wrong with the man. Thing was that it was wrong ever since, it just happened to become a problem once he went off Earth. As his research led on the main issue was in the air. Something in the air was ruing the chemistry of Nate's lungs and the process of getting oxygen through his system.

He knew there was a genetical disorder that caused body to make too much mucus in the organs, especially lungs and digestive system, and Nate turned out to have some form of it. But it was a bit different in his case because of his already altered genes. Because his DNA had been different compared to regular people the disease didn't develop the usual way. However it did cause millions of problems to the young man.

And particularly since off planet travel. Something about the air and whatnot was affecting the disease so it was attacking his lungs way more than normal.

Noel knew there was a procedure for clearing up the lungs and stuff. It was extremely expensive but not impossible to get. And so far he knew why his bud was doing all that shit for.

But then there was medication that was strong enough to stop the active part inside the gene and clear out the body. It was most effective and it was fucking expensive. It basically cost everything, all that the poor boy didn't have. And to get that he had to be listed and accounted for by law. In other words Nate had to be a citizen with impeccable record and no criminal past. He just had to be legit.

Which officially had been crossed out by himself since everyone knew that he wasn't and in case he showed up they'd be waiting already with coffee and cake.

The third option was possible but way too dangerous- transplant. It crossed itself out right away because only lungs that could be compatible were ones from same kind. Not impossible but way too difficult and time consuming with more risks involved.

Another option was pretty much experimental as their whole birth was. However Noel once upon a time came across to a genius scientist that was doing wonderful things for the people like them. And he said if they could get to safety he'd try to help. Because it was possibly even riskier option than any and it cost even more than just money and freedom. Just as well it could be something neither would manage to undo if anything went wrong.

Aside magical healing tech there was nothing left. But that was out of their reach and pocket and law for more reasons than one. There was one system that held very spectacular technology that allowed to be treated for almost anything but it was a closed community and only citizens were allowed to get to that tech.

Sure they'd let Nate handle the computer that regulates the system or do it himself, but he wasn't a fan of living somewhere resembling the soap bubble.

Which left just one option available at the moment- look deeper into the medication situation and possibly try to manage something with the clear up procedure. Because if anything he was about to drop soon from the lack of oxygen that Noel was certain was the whole issue about.

As far as his knowledge reached it took a while for the lung function to deteriorate and when that happened the oxygen stats dropped to the level the man would need to be hooked up constantly until it no more helped.

After a rough estimate Noel pretty much guessed the time was tonight and that was why such a high level security infestation. It was no guess on his part as it was more clear for his trained eye and logic. Especially with the white trophy in the middle of the room begging to be taken. If he was still in the old days he'd more than sure to make it the main attraction of the evening and just a tad more smug about the other stuff.

He just had to find both Nate and this Neal guy. He just knew they had to be twins- same twins. Because Neal had to be, had to be that same boy they called Nate's twin before the kid disappeared. The was no other explanation, especially with the man's mystery past. That's where the audience usually learned that their beloved government organization wasn't as fluffy and all cute as they were made to believe. And the little sodden soul meant to rot in their assigned cage wasn't at all supposed to be there in the first place. Basic rule of network tv, soap opera turned really show, bestest live performance in the universe.

And he needed a drink, badly.

I dream you're still here

Hidden companion

Phantom be still in my heart

Make me a promise that

Time won't erase us

Nate nearly passed out after the struggle to manage his air intake. It clearly was very close to end.

Nate had known that this was huge push and the way Roland would deal would also be a huge stretch to get the treatment on time. And now the price wanted to be paid dearly.

Unfortunately he still had to grab those thirty seven crafts he'd already got engaged and at least fifteen more that was way too expensive to be kept with the regular stuff. It was taking a little more than just a goodwill to engage them that easy.

Problem was his failing health and possible concussion. Roland had given his brain a little rattle that was messing up with his senses and abilities.

So far his ears still kept buzzing and once in a while, with disgusting precision, he got the telltale vertigo that made it highly impossible to maintain the needed strain to do his stuff.

And it was getting worse. So Nate's plate was plentiful.

It took some time to get his bearings and gather up the remaining grains of strength that was left. Roland was still there and something really massive was going down and pretty soon if he doesn't hurry.

So pulling all that together he made a cautious exit of the room. Few odd kids here and there stumbled past the doors of the rooms lined up by the walls on the both sides of the still rather dark hallway. It made shadow pass easier as it sort of helped his mental state and maybe pushed up a small notch the physical side as well.

He was back in the game once more and it made his plan feel a bit stronger.

So he slowly moved along the walls and carefully skipped the random human or whatever to avoid detection. Even if he was said to never need to worry about stuff like that he still had to be cautious just for his own sake.

Luckily the lights were still dimmed and partially out so he still got that extra layer of secrecy.

Approximately halfway down the last level he spotted the team of thieves slinking upwards. It was his chance to see into what was going in the basement. He just sensed a high level of electric currents surging through the walls and air than he sensed earlier. It made the worry seep into his conscience once more.

Nate checked the hallway that led to stairs down to the level that was main basement level, from it many sublevels and tunnels reached out and about the underground levels of whom many had been long ago closed and half probably crumbled. But once upon a time they used to serve as a safety net for newcomers and a way to manage the immigration fever from the first arrivals years ago.

So there was that. Something made the hairs on his neck stand. Air suddenly had changed and no longer just radiated minor change. There definitely was some machinery that was giving off the wrong vibes, ones he was sure wasn't supposed to be there.

As he made his was further into the dark abyss Nate could feel chills all over his body. For some reason whatever was there had no software and possibly held just mechanical features as he couldn't connect to anything mentally just yet. Or that it had different level of electric signature or digital current entirely. It sometimes made it harder to connect fast but eventually it was possible. This however was a bit different, the buzz was there so currents were running, however his tries to locate a distinct signature to make attachment was fruitless.

But he kept going for just that thought alone- to do his best to meet Noel for at least a moment.

Hidden companion

Phantom be still in my heart

Make me a promise that

Time won't erase us

That we were not lost from the start.