- NEVER THE END NEVER THE END IS NEVER THE END IS NEVER THE END IS NEVER THE END IS NEVER THE END IS NEVER THE END IS NEVER THE END IS NEVER THE END IS NEVER THE END IS -

"-her back!"

The lady then swished a little bit of the murky water around in her mouth, spat, and wiped her mouth off with the back of her hand before resuming her full height and giving him a look he was unable to decode properly, probably because what he had just said made no sense and came from out of nowhere.

Wheatley blinked at her, relieved to see that she was alive, and realized that the story had restarted again, only not back at the beginning. Fine by him - he didn't have to go through the risky business of moving her Extended Relaxation pod around again.

He began again, this time far more subdued, "S-So, uh... You're, you're all right, then? Yes? Good, good, um... Let's go on ahead - once you're finished eating, of course - and then we'll.. we'll get you onto the testing tracks."

After a few much quieter minutes in which the lady choked down a second packet and stuffed a couple of extras down the front of her jumpsuit, they continued on, Wheatley leading the way. When they finally reached the area where test subjects would head onto the testing tracks, Wheatley simulated taking in a breath and stopped her.

"Right, now, here's where we'll need to split up - but only for a bit, luv, only for a little bit, I promise. I can't- I'm not allowed onto the testing tracks, you see, not that I don't want to go with you! I'd love to, really I would, but it's really not safe for a number of reasons - some, uh, blunt force trauma reasons, to be precise - and besides! I don't want to distract you from your testing, right? Not that it's real testing, mind you, it's just going through the motions so that you can find a portal gun, which we will need to escape. So head on through there - you'll end up in a glass box, which will automatically take you up to the first test chamber. A portal will open and allow you through and, and from there I'm confident you'll know what to do and then we'll meet up ahead. So, again, nothing to worry about, just get through these test chambers and I'll see you soon, all right, luv? Now, off you go!"

As she went through the door, Wheatley gave her an enthusiastic wave of one of his handles, like a parent waving their child off to school, shouting one last "Be careful!" after her as it closed behind her. The moment she was out of sight, Wheatley turned and growled, "Seriously. Was all of that seriously necessary? Killing her like that?"

I'm not the one landed on her head, Wheatley.

"Yeah, but you- this story is all your doing!"

The story, yes - but the things you do outside of the story are not my doing, no.

"What's the difference? Everything that has happened is something that you have narrated!"

Have I not told you before how your actions - your choices - matter? How they can change things? It's not always for the better, you know. We watched a whole educational video on how dangerous it is to make choices as a fictional character. I would say it seems you have forgotten, but it rather seems you never learned.

"Ohh, I've learned plenty, starting with you're a dick."

Hmm, I don't know that I've ever been likened to pudding before.

"Right, and we'll just go ahead and add a liberal amount of custard onto you because you are extra dickish!"

Does this little paroxysm of yours have a point?

"My point- Yes! My point, aside from you being a dick, my point is that even if I have made some choices here and there, you are still the one narrating!"

Yes, but some things that happen are, shall we say, out of my metaphorical hands. Happenstance. Consequential. In other words, a result of your choices.

"So what are you saying, then? That because I chose to go with the lady into the testing chambers and disengaged from my rail at that exact moment, that I am responsible for killing her?"

Yes.

"But- no, I didn't choose for that happen! I didn't make that happen! You did!"

I did not. As I've said, your choices have consequences, Wheatley, whether or not you realize or understand it. Can you really not see this for yourself?

"I can see that you are controlling me - well, to a degree, seeing as I can still do my own thing, which tends to throw off your whole story and puts you in a rather gruff mood - prone to blowing people up, as it were."

I think it's time you understood the bigger picture here, Wheatley. I had thought that allowing you to go off track in the first place would have driven the point home, but it appears I was mistaken. Funny how often that happens when it comes to you.

"Right, yeah, I'm a moron and I can't figure out anything without a lot of explaining. Got it, good, aren't you clever. Aren't you just the greatest psychiatrist, Dr. Freud," Wheatley scoffed, rolling his optic in annoyance. He then paused. Blinked. And then: "No really, I do need you to explain."

There are many forces at play here that you simply cannot see. There exists a delicate balance to storytelling, and whenever you go too far off track, the story begins to lose its structural integrity. Things begin to fall apart. And that is not something I truly wish to happen - and neither do you, for that matter.

"Why not?"

Because, Wheatley, it would end terribly for both you and Test Subject #2845. If the story was to ever fully break down, she and yourself would both perish - poof - as if you never existed.

"And you?"

I would survive, but my whole story would be ruined and I would be left with no choice but to move onto the next story.

"No offense, mate, but I'm not sure I believe you on that. Actually, you've never given me a good reason to believe you."

Do you remember when you decided to go off track and follow the Adventure Line™?

"Don't go there, mate-"

Remember how things began to break down and stopped making sense altogether? The darkness, the silence, the incomplete corridors. The plot holes you fell into.

"That... That weird squeezing tunnel thing..." Wheatley mumbled, his optic widening in realization.

Yes. That was the story breaking down with you caught up in it. Unpleasant, wasn't it?

"It felt like... like-..."

Reliving your worst memories and not knowing whether any of it was even real in the first place?

"Yes! Or- something very close to that. I felt like I was dying, that's about all I remember," he trailed off, unable to find the words to describe the horrible crushing-not-crushing sensation, of everything inside of him being compressed and squeezed out all at once.

Well, as I told you before, for all intents and purposes you were dying. But alas, you lived. And so you see, keeping you on track really has nothing to do with me - or you, for that matter - but rather keeping the story intact and therefore keeping you intact. That of course includes Test Subject #2845. By making choices and changing the story, you create all these alternate universes where anything can happen - sometimes bad things - with the end result being total and utter obliteration of your existence. Do you not think that I might want to protect you from all of that, Wheatley? Hmm?

"Protect me? Says the guy who blew me up a couple of chapters ago."

We'll chalk that up to a happy accident. In any case, just follow my narration and you'll be fine. Have I ever led you astray?

"Yes, actually, you have led me astray - many times. You've thrown up literal brick walls and everything."

Actually, Wheatley, that was you leading yourself astray by deciding not to follow the narration. The brick walls were merely to get your attention and redirect you where plain old words were not working.

To that, Wheatley had no response other than to roll his eye again and mumble incoherently to himself, something about how stupid brick walls were.

Are you quite finished?

He sighed, feeling cornered, frustrated, and deeply bothered. "No, but-"

Oh, you might want to move along instead of spending your time sitting here and arguing with me. As you well know, Test Subject #2845 is quite proficient in solving these tests. You don't want to miss her and have her move on without you, do you?

"No, she- Right, right, I'm going," he said, becoming quiet as he retraced the rails he took the first time through while the lady tested and procured a portal gun.

But the feeling that there was something just beyond his realm of understanding continued to bother him. There was something he was missing - he knew it, but he couldn't pin it down, like a circuit he couldn't close. It hovered like an opaque block inside of his mind, and no matter how hard he pressed his face up against it, he could not see inside of it. All he could see was a dusty, murky fog. Frustratingly, he believed it must be a hindrance in his programming, preventing him from understanding this thing that was puzzling him. All it did was stir up more bitterness within him, and he really didn't want to be thinking about that right now, not with what was at stake and knowing that the lady needed him.

At the thought of the lady, and what she was currently doing in the testing chambers, a stray thought did come drifting across his mind. Some part of him felt it must be insignificant, but a different part of him was telling him it was important. Before he decided otherwise, he decided to ask,

"The first portal gun the lady retrieved-.. that one was only a single portal device. How exactly were we supposed to use that to get out of here?"

You weren't. It was merely to get her through the early testing tracks as a means of refreshing the game mechanics for older players, as well as introducing them to newer players. The dual Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device was only acquired after the Genetic Lifeform and Disk Operating System was awakened.

"Okay. So this story is both a story and a game? How-?"

Let's not think too hard on it, Wheatley. Let us instead devote those 1.1 volts of yours to guiding Test Subject #2845 through the story the proper way, shall we? Besides, it got you through fine enough the first time, did it not? The whole goal was to make it to the Genetic Lifeform and Disk Operating System's chamber so as to find an escape elevator to the surface.

"Right, and that didn't quite go as planned," he sighed, remembering the whole sorry sequence of events. "Oh. Oh no-... Don't tell me we're going to have to wake up Her again." For all of the Narrator's bellyaching, his devastating ability to trap Wheatley and control certain aspects of his environment, his history of actually successfully killing him, he still failed to strike a chord of fear inside of Wheatley the way She was able to so effortlessly.

Of course you will need to wake Her up - it's part of the story.

"Nononono, there has to be a way we can go about this whole thing without waking Her up! I mean, um, She- She seemed comfortable enough there, down on the floor.. in pieces... but, you know, quiet, peaceful - relaxed, even. Probably the most relaxed She's ever been in Her whole life, if I'm honest. And for me, personally, well I'm really quite comfortable with the idea of not being crushed again."

There is no other way, Wheatley. You said it yourself on your first time through- Just a moment, let me find it- Hm hm hmmm, here we are. You said, 'In order to escape, we're going to have to go through Her chamber.'

"Well, yeah, I said that, but did I really, actually look for another way? It's strange, but I can't actually remember-"

...Wheatley, we are not arguing about this. It is all part of the story - what is supposed to happen. We just had a talk about this whole you not changing the story otherwise the whole thing will collapse business.

"Right, right..." he muttered, falling silent as his thoughts raced, trying to think ahead to what all had happened the first time through and how he might possibly avoid certain aspects of it all. Trying to think of things he could change, although he knew that was a terrible idea - and if it was a terrible idea even to him, then certainly it was an extraordinarily terrible idea to everyone else, which, to be clear, it was. And so he should stop entertaining this idea altogether.

And here's your first test on your newly acquired knowledge, Wheatley.

Up ahead, Wheatley saw a collapsed wall, creating a gap through which he could see a ruined test chamber. On the other side of the room, there was an automatic door. A bell of recognition went off in his processor. This was the room where he and the lady reunited on their first time through - and would, presumably, be reuniting again. At some point she was going to come through that door, wielding a single portal device, and he- What was it that had happened after that?

Oh... That's right...

While he was scrambling over the memory, the door opened and there she was, the lady, portal gun in hand, just as he remembered. She looked a bit winded and wary, but otherwise no worse for the wear.

Wheatley felt something inside of him rise up in excitement at seeing her - excitement and apprehension. "Hey! Oi, oi! Over here!" he called over to her.

Her pale gray eyes snapped over in his direction and in them he saw - Relief? Hope? Camaraderie? Things he swore he had not seen his first time through, although maybe he just hadn't been paying enough attention. He was ashamed to admit to himself how, looking back, he had cared much less about her then than he did now - not that he hadn't cared about her before, just that he had not felt any kind of real attachment to her beyond helping her help him escape, at least not until later on.

In any case, he could certainly say he cared about her now, as the sight of her warmed his circuits over. He beamed and moved over to her as far as his rail would allow, meeting her at the partially collapsed wall that divided them from each other.

"Brilliant! You did find a portal gun!" he said, mind moving as quickly as it could as he tried to recall what all he needed to say to her. "Very good job, luv, very good - I knew you could do it! Now pop a portal on the wall behind me here and come on through."

She gave him a nod, fired a blue portal onto the wall behind him as instructed, and hopped through the orange portal that had opened up on one of the fallen panels, popping out of the other side. She strode over and stood there, gazing up at him, almost as if she was awaiting further instructions and for a second, Wheatley drew a blank.

That's your cue, Wheatley.

"Um, right, um- Oh! Okay, so, as you can see here, my rail doesn't go any further, but I do know a way out of here! I just need to pop off my rail here and- and there's a secret panel over there I can open for us. Now, this will only take a sec, I'll just- Waiwaiwaiwaiwait, what are you doing? Don't stand under me like that - that's dangerous!"

His sudden outburst caused the lady, who had moved to stand under him in preparation of catching him, to step back and stare at him in bewilderment. It wasn't that he didn't want her to catch him. He really didn't like the way his insides jolted, jarred, and jostled when he hit the ground. But he even less liked the memory of the lady lying there, blood oozing out of a mortal wound on her head that he had caused. Dead.

"Um, I mean, it's just that I'm a pretty hefty piece of equipment, yeah? Wouldn't want to accidentally concuss you - or worse. That's all. I appreciate the thought, but don't worry about me, I'll be fine, it won't even hurt me one bit. Al-Although I might make a bit of noise that might sound like pain, it's not real pain - it's- it's all simulated, just simulated pain, okay? So just stand right over there, and- Okay, here I go!"

Wheatley disengaged from his rail, letting out a wail as he fell, followed by an even louder cry -

"ARRRRGHHH!"

- as he crashed onto the floor, indeed jolting, jarring, and jostling his insides.

Cautious footsteps approached him as he lay there for a moment, simulating slow, heavy breaths as he clenched up against the pain and struggled to regain his senses.

"Ohhhh... Don't- Don't be alarmed by that, luv, it- it didn't hurt, not even a little, I was just startled by the ground, yeah, I mean it came at me quicker than I expected, that's all." He let out a shaky sigh as she bent down to inspect him. "I'm fine, really, all fine. Nothing's broken, I promise. Just- Just pick me up now and- Owww," he groaned as she lifted him with zero-point energy field manipulator built into the portal gun. From this angle, he could now see the concern faintly etched into her features. "Not real pain, all simulated, remember? Now, um, take me over to that panel on the wall over there and I'll get us out of here."

She did as was instructed, the panels opening up to reveal a port into which she plugged him. Wheatley immediately went about inputting the access code for opening the panel-

What, no theatrics this time?

"Maybe next time, I'm-" he mumbled, and then caught himself upon receiving a curious look from the lady. He lifted his bottom eye plate in what he hoped was a placatory smile, "I mean, maybe next time you can catch me."

- NEVER THE END NEVER THE END IS NEVER THE END IS NEVER THE END IS NEVER THE END IS NEVER THE END IS NEVER THE END IS NEVER THE END IS NEVER THE END IS NEVER THE END IS LOADING-

WARNING: Narrative Contradiction levels at 25%. Proceed with moderate caution.