- NEVER THE END IS NEVER THE END IS NEVER THE END IS NEVER THE END IS NEVER THE END IS NEVER THE END IS NEVER THE END IS NEVER THE END IS NEVER THE END IS NEVER -
"Bloody well show him."
Show me what, Wheatley?
"Stick around and find out, why don't you."
Not that I have much choice-
"Good. Now shut up and let me focus."
You. Focus. Is that the punchline, or do I need to wait around for the rest?
"Shut up already!"
Wheatley picked his way around his rails, hurrying past all the empty catwalks - many of which seemed to lead to dead ends, for whatever reason - and Pneumatic Diversity Vents filled with various objects passing through, twitch-sparking all the way. It was very dark down here, save for the ambient lighting from floodlights somewhere far up and out of sight and the cyan glow from the reverse side of all the signature white, portal-conducting Aperture panels that filled the facility.
Still, he was able to see well enough, and combined with the beam of his flashlight he was able to move along even faster, at least until he was forced to come to an abrupt halt as a tidal wave of debris came hurtling out of an open panel just in front of him. The mound consisted of discarded testing cubes, turrets, broken pieces of panels and other mechanical devices, a mishmash of whatever had decayed and fallen apart throughout the facility during its years of neglect. It was also blocking his path. He watched, fascinated, as an open-ended Vent drew over to the pile, positioning itself above it and inhaling all of the refuse with a strong, roaring suction, before moving onto the next pile further down. He blinked, tilting back and following the trash's progress as it moved through the Vents, spinning away and out of sight.
Careful there, Wheatley. You don't want to get swept away with the rest of the garbage, do you?
"No, really?" Wheatley snorted, tearing his gaze away from the speeding rubbish and resuming his way forward, "I thought I'd allow myself to be pummeled by it just for the hell of it. I'd also like to point out that I have been through this way before, so I do have an idea of what to expect, thank you very much." In truth, he had actually forgotten that particular detail, but he'd be damned before he let on about that at this point. "Furthermore, yes, I did catch onto your little joke there - me, garbage, ha - very funny, very original."
He rolled his optic and moved on, dodging the piles as they came out from behind the panels, while pausing every now and then to give the shifting Vents a wide berth. He did not need to be sucked up into one of those at the moment, nope - he was on a mission and perhaps there would be time for a joyride later, hopefully one that didn't leave him in a glass box leading into mashy plates, or fire, or a masher, or acid, or anything else the facility had to throw at him.
He came upon the first test chamber and leaned into the panels, listening for any hint of a test in progress on the other side. There was nothing. There was nothing because Test Subject #2845 had already moved on.
"Right, but I still want to be sure," he said.
He dared to press up against the panels and give a slight push, nudging a couple of them open so he could take a peek.
Again, there was nothing. The test chamber was empty, as previously stated. There was really no need for Wheatley to go poking around like this.
"No harm in checking, is there?" He paused, sweeping the chamber again with his gaze. "All right, she's not in here. No reason to panic. All this means is that she already completed this test and has moved onto the next one. That's all this is. Right. Next test chamber."
He moved on and found that Test Chamber #2 was also-
"-empty, which means either she has moved on to other tests, or she- she-..." Wheatley trailed off, feeling faint and like the world was falling away from him, "No. No, no, no, she's not- She's- She's just fast at solving these, that's all. I'm just going to keep going under the assumption that she is still alive, because she is. She is."
Yes, she is, Wheatley. This tediousness is hardly necessary.
But of course this provided him with no reassurance. He tried his best to keep his anxiety in check as he made his way to the next test chamber, but he was so on edge that he nearly released all of his coolant at the sudden sound of Her frigid voice, emanating on the other side of the wall, slicing through the air and slicing through him. On instinct, he pulled his panels and handles in tighter against himself.
"-science has now validated your birth mother's decision to abandon you on a doorstep."
"Oh, there- this must be it - she must be in this one right now," Wheatley said, shaking at the barely concealed hatred bleeding through every syllable She spoke.
He followed his rail over to where it stopped just short of one of the panels and regarded it with a moment of hesitation. He needed to check on the lady, but-... But then the other voice spoke -
I wouldn't do that if I were you, Wheatley - not that I would want to be you, by any means.
- and he perked back up. "Shut up. I just want to check on her."
What's the point? You already know she makes it through these tests just fine. All you are doing is putting yourself in harm's way or potentially distracting her from testing - neither of which are a good thing, in case you needed the clarification.
"The point is-... I need to see her."
And he did need to see her - he really did. Being told she was fine wasn't enough. His nerves were through the roof, sending uncomfortable electrical pulses through his circuits and filling him with an even more uncomfortable static, and the only way that could be even remotely alleviated was for him to physically see her so he could make sure that she was okay. For all he knew, the crazy boss lady upstairs could just be mocking his lady as she lay there on the floor, dying, in need of help, in need of his help.
Wheatley-
The image this created in his mind was so compelling, he ignored the voice and nudged gently at the panel, trying his best to be as quiet as he possibly could, and popped it open just enough so that he could peer in. An immediate feeling of relief surged through him.
She was alive! She was okay! And not only was she alive and okay, she was absolutely nailing the test!
Wheatley beamed and shifted on his rail in excitement as he watched, in total awe of her - the way she placed the portals so carefully, angling the lasers with pinpoint precision, the air of quiet intelligence about her and the look of pure concentration on her face. It was like she possessed a special ability to take in these tests, chew them up, and spit them back out whole again. She was truly something to behold, something of a god of sorts, he was sure of it - certainly more than a god he had ever been, or thought he had been back when he was in charge of everything and forcing her to solve his stupid tests.
His core sank. Stupid. He had been so stupid during that whole thing, had done so many stupid things he was pretty sure it outnumbered both all the trees on earth and all the stars in the galaxy. He had not even come close to the kind of power and grace she wielded so effortlessly. While he had been falling apart - while the facility itself had been falling apart around them - she had held her head high and shown not an ounce of weakness, unlike him and his meltdown, especially there towards the end, tearing himself open like that and revealing to her all of his own weaknesses, all of everything. And he had blamed her for all of it.
A sharp spark of shame shot through him - in time with that annoying twitch-sparking nonsense he now had to deal with presumably until the end of time or until someone bothered to properly fix him - suddenly feeling like he was some kind of pervert for watching something so sacred, something he had no business in admiring after all he had done. He ducked back behind the panel, his circuits racing and core pulsing, burning away inside of him until his internal fans kicked on in response.
How could he have done that to her? Someone who was so precious to him, not only the best human but his friend. Someone who had placed such pure trust in him - probably was the first person to have ever trusted him, to have given him a chance and not just blown him off after the first words out of his mouth. And he had ripped the rug clean out from underneath her, almost literally as he had then punched her through a hole in the floor, a hole that he had created. He would never do that to her again - never - not if he could help it.
"Congratulations-"
Wheatley jumped, blinking away the dark thoughts that had settled over him like a heavy cumulonimbus cloud threatening to burst, and refocused on the current situation. The scary boss lady was speaking again.
"-Not on the test."
"Oh, now what's She on about?"
He listened with growing dismay as the other AI drawled on, "Most people emerge from suspension terribly undernourished. I want to congratulate you on beating the odds and somehow managing to pack on a few pounds."
"Oh, what? She didn't just say that! She did not just say that!" Wheatley growled, rocking back and forth in agitation. "How dare She! How dare She-"
Wheatley, do try to keep it down and not give yourself away. Now is not the time for revealing that you are still alive-
"-say that! The lady is one of the- one of the fittest humans I've ever seen! She could climb Mount Everest without breaking a single sweat! And even so, even if she was a bit, you know, above average in size, what would that matter? She's still the best human! Who does that lousy bint think She is?! Well- I mean-.. She is in charge of the whole facility and everything, but She- She- She clearly doesn't know what She's talking about! I mean, I'm the one with the broken optic and even I can see that, so what's Her excuse?!"
Oh, She isn't all that bad, is She? She is just trying to keep Test Subject #2845 motivated. It's part of Her job. It was part of your job as well when you were plugged into the mainframe, don't you remember?
Wheatley winced, "I try not to-.. um- remember, that is."
Well, you did say some rather awful things to Test Subject #2845. In fact, on top of trying to kill her, you also hurled similar remarks at her.
"What? No I didn't!"
Hmm, let's see, notes, notes, notes... Ah, here: "Apparently being civil isn't motivating you, so let's try things her way... fatty. Adopted fatty. Fatty fatty no-parents."
Wheatley wilted, shame piercing through him all over again. He had forgotten about that...
Oh, that is quite rich dialogue. Riveting. And, most importantly, words spoken in precisely that order by you.
"I-.. I-I-I didn't mean-.. I was just-.. I didn't mean it!"
Of course you didn't - just like you didn't mean to try to kill her, right?
"No I- I mean, I did- but I didn't mean- Gah, you wouldn't understand! You don't know what it's like! And you know what else? Now I know how She must have felt when they plugged me into H- I mean, I do know how that felt because- because I had a bunch of cores plugged into me too, yeah, and you know what? You are, hands down, by far, beyond a shadow of a doubt, the worst, the absolute worst, and you haven't even been plugged into me! Well, not that you could be actually plugged into me - me not being plugged in myself, right - and you are inside my head or whatever, but you aren't actually- I mean, you don't seem to be- You know what, let's talk about something else. Oh, I know, better idea - how about you just stop talking altogether, huh? That would be tremendous if you could do that."
Interesting word choice there, Wheatley. That sounded like a Freudian slip to me.
"SHUT UUUUUP!" he roared, not caring if anyone other than the obnoxious voice heard him.
He sat there for a moment, simulating heavy breaths, as if he had just gotten through with running a marathon and had an actual pair of lungs. He swore to God - or whatever divine being might be listening - if that voice had one more shit thing to say-
Wheatley all at once noticed that there was silence from within the chamber and his anger all but evaporated. He hurried and pushed the panel back open. "Where's she gone?!"
She's moved onto the next test chamber. Or she fell into a pit, who knows, I wasn't paying attention.
Wheatley narrowed his eye, huffed, and moved quickly to the next test chamber.
- THE END IS NEVER THE END IS NEVER THE END IS NEVER THE END IS NEVER THE END IS NEVER THE END IS NEVER THE END IS NEVER THE END IS NEVER THE END IS NEVER THE END IS LOADING -
WARNING: Narrative Contradiction levels at 50%. Proceed with substantial caution.