Chapter 57: This feeling
Chris remained alone in the locker room. For the first time in almost 15 years, she didn't go on a mission. She might have missed some because she was ill or sometimes too drunk but it was very rare. From now on, she will miss all the missions for the 7 next months. Her heart tugged. She really loved her job. But what she was doing now was something else.
Against all odds and even pills, Jim and she had created two new lives and they were in his belly right now as crazy as it sounded. She checked around to assure she was alone and lifted her tee-shirt to look at her belly which was not so flat anymore. Crazy as hell! Two days ago, it was all flat. Human body was amazing. She touched it, for the first time since she knew she was pregnant. She was afraid to do so at first because it would mean she really was. But now she was scared anymore – at least not totally, she was even happy with the situation. Twins were a lot to handle but she knew that with Jim they could do it.
She took another moment to look at her in the mirror. It seemed weird to see her body change like this. For a moment, she didn't recognize herself.
"Alonso, you're here?"
It was Hicks's voice. She put her tee-shirt back in place in a hurry.
"Yes, almost ready!" She told from the bathroom corner. Hicks chose to remain in the tiny opening of the door.
"The team is almost in place, meet me in the control room."
"Be there in a minute!" She adjusted her tactical gear and got out of the room. She was expected in the control room to work.
When she entered the control room, she looked at all the screens around her. She could see all the angles of the mission thanks to the cameras of her teammates.
"Ready for your first mission in the control room?" Lynch handed her a pad to interact with the information on the screen. Chris nodded.
"Guess you're familiar with the case?" Hicks teased her to make her comfortable. He knew she had some troubles to accommodate to the situation. She was an action woman so remaining in the control room, overlooking at the others in action could be disturbing.
"Car thieves to catch on Broadway Avenue." Chris answered to him with a little smile.
"Yes, the Tucker's siblings. Two sisters, three brothers. A lot of troubles and violent."
"Exactly, Alonso. Our job here is to have eyes for those on the field who can't have eyes on some unattainable corners. I want you to be the eyes for 20-Squad, Alonso."
"Got it, Commander." She focused on the screen, looking at every corner, being there for her team as she could.
"Incoming on your right… Be careful, dead end right in front of you… Run away from the backside door!"
"Feel like you have command in the veins, Alonso." Lynch told her as she joined them a few minutes after the beginning of the operation.
"Just doing my job, the best I can right now. Having their backs as I would have on field. " Lynch nodded, smirking.
Hicks took care of the drones pics while Chris kept having eyes on the field. Lynch was dealing with LAPD on field, waiting for 20-Squad to get out of the building with the handcuffed robbers.
"22- and 26- David, be careful, two of them in the room just next to you."
"Copy that, 24-David!" They entered the room and neutralized the two men boxing mechanical pieces.
"26-David to Command, two suspects in custody!"
"20-David, the three others are still moving in the building. Two in the basement, one on the second floor." Chris kept warning her team.
Hondo and Deac ran to the basement, while Luca and Alicia took care of the person at the second floor. Ten minutes later, they heard the relaxing "Code 4" from Hondo. The operation was over. And now the second part of the job could start.
"Great job everyone!" Hicks announced proudly. "Now, let's welcome those people here and let them spit things out. And welcome in the team, Alonso!"
She nodded shyly, almost blushing. She quickly focused on her next move. Reuniting information so she could interrogate suspects with the others. Her manner to be still a part of 20-David.
"See you in the interrogation room." Lynch interrupted her flow of thoughts. "Great job, Alonso and by the way, congratulations! These babies are lucky to have you and Street as parents."
She tapped her on the shoulder, giving her a faint smile before walking through the door, to take care of the next mission of the day.
[…]
A month spent. Quickly as expected. Chris kept working from HQ. Becoming better at her job every day. Her belly kept growing too, which amazed her as far he scared her. Would she be able to recover after this and be again 100% to her job?
Jim supported her as strongly as he could, telling her she will succeed in everything she will do, spending hours reading articles and books to bring her all the comfort she needed. She was a messy pregnant woman. One of the worst. She hated feeling like this but she did. Her only pleasure in all this was feeling her babies moving in her belly. As if they told her she was gonna be ok.
She talked about it with Dr. Jane who told her the human body was amazing, that she had no fear to have, that she will be as good as new a few months after the boys will be here.
"The boys?" Chris and Jim asked surprised.
"Oh I must have slipped! Wanted to ask you if you wanted to know the sex of your babies… I may have said too much."
"We're having 2 baby boys…" Street was in shock.
"Boys…" Chris was in awe.
"I guess you're happy." Dr. Jane added, smiling at their reactions.
"Whatever it was a boy or a girl… It's just to be sure now… Wow." Street continued. Chris was too shocked to say anything else.
They left the office, reassured and amazed. They were having two beautiful, healthy boys. They called Uncle Sarzo and Auntie Elena once they were in the car. They heard them crying and screaming over the phone. Chris felt tears rolling over her cheers. Damn hormones! She quickly wiped them with her sleeves before Jim could see anything. He was too busy talking about their sons. Which she found cute and adorable. He was so invested in all of this. Bending the knees on so many things so she could feel better. When she was nothing but awful.
She got back to reality when Sarzo and Elena told them they will organize a BBQ to celebrate this awesome news.
"And don't worry, Chrissy. Only the four of us will know the BBQ is about the babies. For the others it'll only be a kind moment to see each other!"
Her auntie definitively knew her very well.
[…]
"Hurry, Jim, we're gonna be late!" Chris was running through the apartment, all grumpy since this morning. She was feeling swollen and tired. And her feet were a mess. She was tired and let him know.
He chose to remain silent and to agree to what she said. Which exceeded her even more. "Stop being quiet, Jim." She kept repeating while they walked to the car.
"You're alright?" He tried to ask. She lowered her head.
"Not really…" He swallowed hard, seeing her so bad.
"Chris, you know that you can tell me everything… The good, the bad, the fun, everything…"
She kept her head down, as she was feeling shameful. She sat in the car and started the engine. He chose not to force her more. She was already too hypersensitive. He'd rather let her calm down on her own. She will eventually speak to him and open, even if he suspected something. He used to read in her like an open book.
They arrived at Sarzo and Elena's, taking all the stuff from the trunk and bringing them inside the house. Jim saw Chris going to talk with her little cousins. He smiled, looking at her and got back to the kitchen to help Elena to prepare the BBQ. They will have plenty time to talk later.
[…]
"Hey Jim!" Uncle Sarzo called Street as he was taking some shrimp salad for him and enchiladas for Chris.
"Hey Sarzo, you ok? Sorry I didn't come earlier to say hello. You were like super busy with all those people around you."
"It's ok! Was negociating a contract with my neighbor. He owns this big warehouse in East LA which needs to be entirely remade. And I was talking about price and taxes."
"And you got it?"
"Of course, I got it. Starting next month!"
"That's great news! But I guess this is not what you wanted to talk about first, right?" He answered with a smile.
"Smart kid!" Sarzo snickered and then took his serious face again. "In fact, I wanted to talk to you about Chris… She seems tired… Even dull." He pointed at her niece who was half sleeping in a deckchair at the other side of the garden.
"She's tired… Really tired… She's 6 month-pregnant and she can't wait for this to end…" He lowered his head as if he just confessed something really shameful.
"Is she ok?" Sarzo was worried. Jim could feel it in his voice. He put his hand over his shoulder to reassure him.
"Yeah, she is, just tired. She just wants to see the faces of the babies and to forget about this time full of swollen feet, back aches and vomiting. Don't blame her, seems awful. Be better in 3 months. Imagine us feeling shit like this, we won't survive!" Jim started laughing and was soon imitated by Sarzo who looked relieved.
Her niece should hate this time so much! She couldn't move and run like she would have liked and she was forced to hold additional kilos. He got why she was making faces so much.
"Remembered when Elena was expecting Thomas. She was becoming crazy because she couldn't run as she used to. And she was a home helper at the time! Can't imagine what it is when you run after criminals for a living."
"Add to this, Chris is an hyperactive woman and you get the awful combo…"
Sarzo laughed at Jim's last line. "Hyperactive is the right word, she's the kind to be busy all the time and not knowing when to stop."
"Yep… Kind of feeling guilty sometimes… Putting her in this situation…"
"Don't be, Jim… She's happy with the boys coming. She told me so last week, implicitly." He smiled at him. "You know how she is. She doesn't talk too much. But she is happy. She is happy with you, the boys. To be honest, I've never seen my Chrissy so happy. Warms my heart she's finally reached this level of happiness after all she's been through…"
Sarzo tapped Jim's shoulder. "Glad you entered her life… Hiro. And now if you excuse me, I've got some steaks to cook."
He walked towards Elena who was waving at him, letting Jim with a large goofy smile on his face. He had really found a family.
[…]
Weeks came one after the others. Work was intense. But being in the same team again was great. Chris and Jim shared the same work hours. Getting home together after shift. Having the same days off. For Chris, it was relieving. She moved less and less easily and having Jim not too far was something that reassured her. In the middle of the ocean of questions that submerged her mind every day.
"Jim… Can I tell you something?" He nodded, worried. She seemed upset.
She sat correctly in the sofa, trying to balance with her belly which was becoming bigger each day. She swallowed hard. What she was about to say was not easy. She didn't know if Jim would understand but she'd rather say to him the truth. He deserved it.
"You scare me, Chris? Are you ok? Are the babies ok?"
"No, no, no we are all ok. Better than ok according to the doc. It's just… I don't know how to say this… I already love the boys… Can't wait to meet them even if I'm scared to death to totally screw up… But…"
"But what, Chris? You know you can tell me everything…" He stroked her hands with his. She took a deep breath to gather all the strength she needed to tell this out loud.
"I don't like to be pregnant." First surprised by his truth, he finally smiled at her.
"Wouldn't like this either. The swollen feet, the back ache, the vomiting, the weight gain…"
"The impression not to be able to move fast, the nausea… You're not mad at me?" She seemed so fragile at this moment. So terrified he could tell her he hated her for feeling this.
"Chris, I could never be mad at you when you're enduring this nightmare just to give us this awesome gift… And as always you don't do things easily, you're making two babies at the same time!" He put his hand over her belly and felt his sons moving inside. The only magic thing in this ocean of complexity.
"It's just everyone says that pregnancy is amazing, that you feel blooming all the time… When I feel the perfect contrary… I feel blooming when I run after a bad guy and fight against him and crush his ass…"
"And I get you… No one should endure this, Chris… And for this, I respect you even more… I can't do more than being there for you, making you comfortable and waiting with you for our babies to come and also propose you some names! Listen to this one…"
She cut him quickly. "No way our sons be named LeBron and Shaquille, even if I'm a Lakers fan. This is a big no!" He managed to make her laugh.
"Ok, ok. I get it. Something more classic then."
"I just want them not to be annoyed at school because their dad has bad taste, it's called common sense, J. "
"Ok, promise to come with less original ideas. At least, I'd have tried."
She smiled and grabbed his hand placed over her belly. "So you don't hate me for telling this? "
"Chris, I'll never hate you. Even when you make me crazy with your mess all over the apartment. I'm even flattered you have been so honest with me and let me know how you felt."
"Thanks for always having my six, Jim. Whatever the context… Just don't say anything to the others… Not sure they'll get this…"
"And tonight I make the promise I won't get you pregnant again, like never again." He joked before bending to her and kissed her so loveable lips.