Chapter 63: Reorganization
Months passed. Street went back to 50-Squad. The first weeks with Chris and him in a different team were like gymnastics exercises. Fortunately, they could rely on Elena who didn't miss a single day with the kids. But even, it was hard, not to share the same work hours, to always run after time. They enjoyed every time off to look at their kids growing up.
It was amazing to see their sons first rolling, crawling, laughing. They were already 6 month-old. Who could believe this? It was as if Chris had told Jim she was pregnant some days ago. It was as if this day she peed on a stick was yesterday. This day where she was so afraid because her life was about to change forever. This day she decided to take her chance and to follow an unknown path and let the future take over her.
And she didn't regret to have been such a fool. Looking at Aaron and Nate rolling over and over on their blanket, seeing Jim tickling their sons and hearing the three of them roar with laughter, touching their tiny feet and toes, watching them watching her with so much love in their eyes.
The meeting with Joyce and Deac's kids had been one of the best moments. For the very first time, Jim and she saw the twins interact with complete strangers. It was fun to watch trying to talk and express themselves with uncontrolled and unpredictable gestures. To see them happy, then scared by the numbers of people around them.
Lila was the one who took everything in charge. Playing to the teacher with Samuel, Victoria and Joyce while she was nurturing Aaron and Nate. Then Joyce going to them to give them a toy and the boys fighting to grab it first. Diablo overlooking everything, lying in the grass next to them. And them at table with all their SWAT family. An extended family now because everyone had brought their other half to their BBQ.
Even Luca was there with Tuana. Which was an event. They all remained quiet about it because they knew it could hurt or get him back up if they made a single remark. They just smiled at each other, understanding the underlining thought beneath those sudden smiles.
Nora came later, his son had a soccer match this morning. "Hey everyone! Everyone, meet Jack, my son and future soccer star and Jack, meet all my colleagues and friends."
The boy smiled at all the adults around the table and quickly asked her mom if he could join the other kids, playing in the garden. She made him promise to be nice and let him go to meet the kids.
"Never imagined you as a soccer mom, Fowler!" Deac teased her.
"Ah, ah, you know what they say. Anything for your kid! And he wants soccer, who am I to oppose to this?"
"No way she cares about other soccer moms, Nora will kick their asses, trained her well!" Luca answered joyfully.
"Oh I will, I mean it must be for this they elected me as the president of the association!"
"Well done, sis!" Tan eructed.
"I swear if our daughter wants to play soccer, I'll register her in your son's club!" Bonnie added.
"Keep two places for us!" Chris eventually said.
"Not for us, it's ok, they all have their activities and it's already enough!" Annie assumed.
"But you did do 4 of them!"
"Street, you did two in one time! Not better!" Deac wittily answered.
"Yes, but he'll stop there. No more kids. Two are enough!"
"You hear the wife, no more… And honestly, I totally agree with her! Two are exhausting enough."
As often when they were together, day spent fast. Really too fast. They talked, laughed, ran to take care of the kids, preventing some fights coming. Till everyone went back home. It was moments like this that gave them strength and hope everything will go better with time.
Each week, each day brought their amount of surprises. Aaron saying Dada all day to call Jim, Nate feeling the need to cuddle in Chris's neck as soon as he could. Them grabbing everything to stand still on their feet. Then them saying Mama while she was folding their clothes in the living room on one of her day off, alone at home with them. Them playing with Diablo, which was so kind to them, letting them doing of him whatever they wanted.
"You know, Diablo, sometimes you should rebel a little or those two little devils will do whatever they want of you!"
For only answer, the dog barked and came to her feet to cuddle. Chris knelt to pet and kiss him. He was a good dog. Nice, kind, warm and protective. She hugged him tighter.
"Wish I had more time for you, my Diablo! To spend time with you, to tell you about Champ, you'd have liked him so much. You'd have been such good buddies!"
She remained some more minutes with him before being called to reality by the sound of the washing machine. It was finished. Her day off had nothing off and Jim was working late shift today. Since a few months, this kind of situation had been multiplying. The first months she was back at work, they had been quite preserved but reality finally smashed them right in the face.
Kids were almost one year. In a few weeks. Time went crazy, even more with their totally disturbed shifts. And she suffered not seeing her husband as often as before. She missed him. And she hoped - she knew - he was feeling the same when he was off and she was on shift. But now was not time to complain. She had a work she loved more than anything, a wonderful, caring husband, two fabulous boys and a protective dog.
"Just a bad moment to pass, better days are coming. Right, Diablo and the boys?" She stood up. "Mama's got work to do!"
[…]
When Jim came home late this evening after his shit with 50-Squad, everything was quiet. It was used to this now. Either him or Chris came earlier from work to take care of the children to let Auntie Elena got home. But since a few weeks, it could feel tiredness was taking over both of them. They didn't even manage to spend an evening together. Too exhausted. Too drained.
He took off his backpack in the corridor and walked till the kitchen to pour some water in a glass. He was so thirsty. He picked toys on the ground and put them in the coffer. As he entered the living room, he saw Chris deeply asleep in the sofa. A baby bottle still in her hand, her mouth half opened, holding a bib in the other hand. He smiled. His decision was made but he needed to talk to Chris about it before making things official. He couldn't decide on his own. They were a team. Them. Together. In good and bad moments. And now them included Aaron and Nate.
He ate some soup left in the fridge and a slice of cheese. His stomach was growling. He finished his dinner with a chocolate yoghourt and an apple.
"Hey." Chris was in front of him, all disheveled from her impromptu nap in the coach.
"Hey. Rested?"
"Not really… Have the impression that a truck ran over me. No bad joke here."
"You want some soup?" She nodded. He poured her a bowl and added some cheese in it. He knew she loved this mix.
"Thanks." She gave him a faint smile and started to eat with envy.
He waited for her to end her meal to talk, she needed this moment of peace. He enjoyed the moment to clean the dishes and the baby bottles so Auntie Elena had nothing to do except taking care of the kids tomorrow morning. As Chris stood up from the stool she was seated on, Jim cleared his throat.
"C, would like to talk to you about something."
She turned right away to face him, afraid of what he was about to tell. "You're alright, J?"
"Yeah, yeah, don't worry, I'm fine. Everything is fine…"He paused for a while. "It's just that it's complicated right now…"
"Complicated is an understatement." She answered, with a shy smile on her face.
"We're constantly tired… Between the little guys and work, the different shifts… Elena is adorable to help but it's not a durable solution…" She lowered her head. "You know it as far as I…"
"Yes…" She finally admitted, cutting him. "But we knew from the moment we decided to keep the babies…"
"Yes but at the time, we thought we're gonna have only one. Not that I'm complaining, I'm so happy to have Aaron and Nate. They're like perfect but it's also exhausting…"
"I won't stop working…" Chris directly answered.
"And I'll never ask you that. It never crossed my mind to be honest. You're married to SWAT, professionally of course. I keep you the rest of the time." He joked, making the atmosphere a little lighter.
She looked at him, letting out a small snicker. She was married to her job, he was right. She loved it so much. He was the only one who got it. Probably because he was working there too.
"What do you propose then? Seems like it's just a hard time to pass…"
"In fact, I may have a solution… I've been contacted by the SWAT Academy recently. They're looking for a head trainer for the recruits and they thought of me because of my experience. I talked with the guy, asking him what it consisted in. Where the job was. Why they were so interested in me when there're others potential, more qualified candidates for this job."
"You accepted it?" She was confused for a moment.
"Absolutely not. Not without talking to you about this possibility. We are a team. No way I'm taking this decision on my own. Just giving you the facts, pure and concise. Not so bad for someone who overtalks all the time about everything."
She couldn't help laughing. "Maybe you finally have learned something from me…"
"I'm learning every minute of every day, C…"
"You're tempted by the position at SWAT Academy, right?"
"Not gonna lie, it seems great. Office work hours. Training cadets. Keeping the best for your future team." She rolled her eyes listening to his last words. "Could be there early to take care of the beans and the house and we could have days off at the same time… Could be great to spend time together again… I miss you, C…"
"I do miss you too… But how can I be sure you don't want to accept this job just to let me keep mine? I don't want you to ruin your career for me. You're an excellent SWAT officer, you love running after bad guys and the adrenaline it gives you… I can't…"
"And you won't… As far as I love chasing bad guys, I love you and the boys way more… And I don't want to miss a part of their lives because I was on a shift… I want to be there for them, I don't want… "
He stopped all of a sudden. She put her hand over his. She felt his helplessness.
"You're not her… You'll never be her."
He sighed. Being like his mother was the thing that scared him the most. This and losing Chris and his boys.
"I just want you to be happy, Jim…"
"I am every day, since we're together. It's an insane rollercoaster and I'm glad I got into it. And I'd like to be there for the boys… While you rise at SWAT."
She blushed. "Stop saying this, I'm already happy to have been the first female in SWAT."
"And one day you'll run the place. You're born for this, C. You're a natural."
"Like you're a natural for teaching?" She answered quickly.
"Never thought about it before, to be honest. But I like the idea… And I can come back at SWAT if needed, so I keep connection with adrenaline… But I wanted to know about your opinion before making any move…"
"If you agree with this, I do too. I just don't want you to do this to spare me…"
"I do it for the boys, would you agree with me on this?"
She sniggered. "If it is for the boys, I agree about anything."
"So we have a deal."
This night, they came to bed just after checking on their little beans, and felt asleep quickly, cuddled in each other arm. Ready for a new chapter of their lives.