Author's note: Yo! Uni sucks sometimes. Also this chapter was really hard for some reason.
By the way, I noticed after re-reading the last chapter that Nicolas' name had inexplicably been changed to Robert, which offended me greatly because Robert is an actual character, so... Yeah, I fixed it, just in case you wondered why you got a notification for that chapter too.
When they returned from Athena and got back to the base with little to no trouble, Rose had immediately asked if they had gotten her book back, not even bothering to say anything else regarding the trip once Yakko had handed it to her.
She'd tried to shake off his curiosity, sliding subtly away from him and clutching at the book in her hands as if he would try to rip it from her. While Marilyn and StarDust made conversation with Wakko and Dot about the trip - how they found everything, if they had found the errand too hard or too easy, if the food had sufficed them for lunch and for a light snack - Yakko found himself fighting with Rose one-sidedly. All he wanted were answers, but she seemed set on not telling him anything.
"Can I ask who that person was?"
"Who?"
Rose continued to blatantly ignore his piercing eyes as she played around with the diary, lightly pressing a thumb over the words "My Diary".
"The one who gave us the book."
"An ally of ours."
Yakko rolled his eyes at the useless answer. What he was interested in was why they had hid from them and why they had those stitches on their hand and wrist. Warners in general may have been weird, but that was strange even by their standards.
"Care to expand on that?"
"No."
Rose, of course, ignored him, far too focused on practically carressing the book they'd brought back with them, being extra careful when she passed over a burn mark "The most I'll tell you is that her name is Alexandra and that I doubt you'll see her again."
- I didn't really see her, but okay. -
Though he tried to contain a sigh from how closed off she was being, Yakko felt the name was familiar to him. He couldn't match it to a face, or to the voice he'd heard for that matter, but he'd at least heard the name in passing before.
Alexandra. Better make a mental note of her name.
He tried again "Could you tell me what that book is about?"
"It's a diary."
- I figured. -
"May I ask whose diary it is?" Maybe being polite would do the trick in making her loose lipped.
Instead, Rose paused in her examining of the book and slowly cradled it to her chest, as if it was her most priced possession "It belonged to... a good friend of mine" her eyes were sad as she clutched it tighter "It's... a memento. She died a while ago."
Ouch. Well, no wonder she had been practically biting his head off for prying. Still...
"... Would you mind if I asked what happened to her?" he questioned tentatively. He didn't want to upset her, even less to intrude in on her private life, but he couldn't keep his mouth shut when he was interested in something. Such is one of his worst flaws.
What did he care what had happened though? It wasn't like he'd known this person. Yet... Rose was clearly upset by this, and for some reason he felt the urge to comfort her. He thought if she talked about it, maybe that would help. That was... what friends did, right?
They were friends now, right? At least Friendship Level 1? A Tragic Backstory was reserved for Level 4 friends and higher though.
Rose looked like she wanted to tell him to keep his nose out of her business, her expression hostile, but for some reason she answered anyway "Yes. Yes, I would mind. But..." she took a deep breath, letting it out and all her tenseness with it "There's not much to it anyway. Even I don't know the details."
Why was she telling him if she didn't want to? When she was clearly upset by what had happened?
... Was this her own way of showing they were friends now?
Rose sighed, walking slowly, maybe even sadly, over to the kitchen table and sitting down on one of the chairs, patting the one next to her in invitation. Shocked at the friendly gesture but pleased, he made his way and sat beside her.
"Remember that time in the forest, when you told us you couldn't remember anything from before you were nine?" she asked quietly, as if she too was afraid of stepping into prohibited territory.
However, their relationship had changed drastically by now, and though they didn't know each other very well yet he didn't mind sharing a few more things with her. That was the way they would get to learn more about each other after all.
"Yeah, I remember" he sent her a small encouraging smile, trying to tell her that it was okay "What about it?"
Slowly but surely, Rose returned his smile "Well, I felt bad for asking about it so offhandedly because... I kind of know how it feels, though not nearly to the same extent."
His eyebrows rose. Well, this was a surprise "You do?"
She nodded lightly "I have some blank patches in my memory from when I was little. Or, well, I guess it wouldn't be accurate to call them blank" she hummed for a moment, her brows furrowed in concentration "I guess it would be better to call them "missing pieces"?"
He only tilted his head a bit in confusion.
"It's like, I'll remember almost everything, but there'll be some things that are scribbled over in my memory" she attempted to explain, frustrated when it was clear he didn't exactly understand "I'll give you an example, it'll be easier."
"Suppose that I can remember myself sitting in a coffee shop with someone. I can remember the smell of coffee, the sound of the birds chirping outside" as the image presented itself in his head, Rose tapped her fingers on the table "But here's the thing: I can't remember who the person is, or their name. It's like they're a big black mass that has no face, even though I'm talking with them."
Oh, now that made a bit more sense "So people are blurred out?"
However, she shook her head "No, not just people in general. There's some specific people that I can't remember, and some details escape me too, even entire places sometimes" her expression turned a bit melancholic "My friend... is one of those people."
"So you can't...?" his voice turned soft. That was just... incredibly sad.
Rose clutched the book tighter to her chest "... Yeah. I can't remember her name or what she looked like. I was hoping that maybe... That maybe this diary would tell me something about her. I remember a bit of how she used to be, but not enough" she hung her head "But I'm a coward, I can't open it. I'm scared of what I'll read in it. It's foggy, but... I remember that she suffered a lot... and I don't want to read that."
She bit her lip, looking like she was about to start crying "I can... I can remember how she died, a little bit. I... I saw the light leave her eyes. She was... yelling something, but can't remember what."
There was a short period of silence, mostly because he was giving her time to try and compose herself. He didn't want to ask more than she could give, especially seeing how this was the first time he'd actually seen her vulnerable. This was her extending an olive branch and asking if they could be closer. At least, that's how he was interpreting it.
"Don't you have anyone who could help you remember?" his tone was still quiet, gentle. It seemed weird to him that StarDust and Marilyn would also lose their memory of this person simultaneously.
But Rose just shook her head again "They weren't there... I went to see her in secret" she fidgeted slightly in her seat, clearly uncomfortable revealing this "I can't remember the way there, but I know that she was somewhere inside the Forbidden Forest."
"… The Forbidden Forest?"
Rose just shrugged, clearly just as lost as to how that'd happened "I've no idea what she was doing in there, can't remember clearly. I just remember that she was in... a horrible place. It felt like a jail. Who knows... maybe it was a jail" she shivered slightly from the apparent memory, sending her sisters, who were still talking with Yakko's siblings, a sad look "Star said that the reason why I can't remember these things is probably because seeing her die was too traumatic... That I was forced to forget all of it so I wouldn't be triggered by thinking about her. Even the place where she was is blurry because of it."
It seemed logically sound. The death of a loved one, especially at such a young age, could be traumatic enough to make her want to forget what lead up to that event entirely. A self-defense mechanism that had sprung up without her even asking for it.
"Yours is a different case, isn't it? I mean, besides the fact that it was caused by head trauma and not a traumatic event" she asked, mostly rhetorically "You can't remember anything?"
"Nothing" he sighed, giving his skull a soft frustrated tap, as if that would magically make him remember it all. Like on tv, where another hit to the head brought the memories back "The only clues I've got are dreams."
- Mostly nightmares though. -
Rose nodded as if she understood "That happens to me too, though your dreams are probably a lot less comprehensible, huh?"
"Considering you have an estimate memory of what you're dreaming of while I've got nothing, yeah, I'd say so. They're a bit disorienting sometimes" he admitted, feeling a bit self-conscious about telling her all these things, but glad that he'd learned something new about her.
If they really were becoming friends then this whole ordeal would be a lot less painful than it had to be. He'd worry for their safety regardless of his attachment to them, so them becoming closer was actually something he craved. It'd been near impossible to become friends with the humans back at the studio, especially since they'd all been so much older than them. Having someone of his age that he wasn't directly responsible for to chat and laugh with would be... nice.
- ... What about me? I'm your friend. -
He almost flinched. Almost. Its tone was borderline cold.
- Well, yeah, but... It's not really the same thing, is it? -
A twinge of discomfort settled in his stomach as he remembered its odd reaction to the diary earlier, making him rock slightly in the chair, frowning at the floor. Luckily Rose seemed to have slipped into her own thoughts as well, so she didn't question what he seemed so suddenly upset about, nor why he was so fidgety.
- What do you mean? Do friends have to be physical? Is there some sort of manual somewhere? -
Christ, there it went with the sarcasm. If he hadn't known the voice for so long, Yakko would have sworn it was jealous of his developping friendship with Rose... but he knew better. This wasn't about that at all.
- Stop beating around the bush, you clearly don't want me becoming friends with them. Why? -
There was a pause in which it made a disgruntled sound, as if concerned about having gotten caught.
- ... They're bad news, especially Blondie. So's her book. -
What was its problem with the stupid book? Was it cursed or something? Rose had just made it sound like it was a harmless memento of her good friend.
- What makes you say that? Give me one good reason why they're dangerous and I'll back off. -
- ... -
Figures.
It wasn't even trying to make up some excuse about how Rose had pointed a gun at him or about how the three sisters had put them in this dangerous situation. If its problem had been anything of the sort then it'd have told him way before then. It knew he wasn't stupid.
- … Look, I know how your instincts work. Believe it or not, I've seen a pattern during all the years I've known you, and… making friends is detrimental to your health, at least when we're in this much danger. -
It didn't… sound like it was lying? Its explanation didn't feel like the whole truth though.
- "Detrimental to my health"? What are you even talking about? -
- You're going to feel responsible for their safety and happiness, Yakko, you always do. It's just... It's always ended badly for you. I don't want you to get hurt anymore. -
Something scratched at his memory, most likely examples of how this had happened in the past, but he didn't want to even think about it. He was not going to lose the chance to befriend the Milers just because the voice was worried. He wasn't going to let the opportunity for the TV-show style friendship he'd always craved escape because it wanted to keep him in a safe bubble.
- I'm willing to take that risk. I don't need you to protect me, or rather to baby me, Voice. -
He could have sworn he felt the voice twitch in barely restrained anger.
- Is me trying to protect you a crime now? An "inconvenience" for you? Do you think I want you to be a lonely loser living in a cave with no friends for the rest of your life? -
Ouch, Yakko must have hit a nerve somewhere. He flinched back at the terse and annoyed tone, actually hurt by the words. Was that really how it saw him?
- All I'm trying to do is spare you the suffering, why can't you just accept that I know you more than you do yourself? Being friends with them is bad; you already feel closer to Blondie just because you're both missing pieces of your memories, and it's only going to get worse from there. -
- You're going to get hurt and I'm not going to be the one rubbing your back and kissing your tears away when that happens, so. You're staying away from them and that's that. -
Well.
Yakko grit his teeth, feeling a cold rage he wasn't accostumed to. How dare it say it like that. Good intentions or no it was crazy if it thought he was going to let it control his life.
- No. You don't get to decide that. -
The voice's anger only accumulated.
- Yakko- -
- No! You're wrong, and I'm done listening to everything you say when you won't tell me anything! -
To his surprise the voice let out a sarcastic yet strained laugh, practically radiating pain. Yakko could picture it with a wry smile on its face.
- What are you saying? You never listen to me. You never let me help. You'd always rather shoulder everything on your own until it explodes in your face! -
It had started talking sarcastically and obviously annoyed, but by the end it begun yelling the words in frustration, startling Yakko. He was completely incredulous.
God, was it seriously saying this? Was it seriously griping at him for keeping it at a distance? Like it hadn't been doing that itself his whole life? What a hypocrite.
- Well maybe, if you weren't just a stupid voice in my head, I would listen to you more. Maybe, if I actually believed you could help, I would be letting you give me advice. Maybe, if you were honest with me instead of hiding all the time, we wouldn't be having this conversation in the first place. -
It didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that Yakko was legitimately upset. He'd been friends with the voice since he could remember, and yet almost a decade had passed and it still didn't trust him enough to tell him anything about itself. No name, no reason as to how it'd ended up in his head, no mention of his past that he was a hundred percent sure the voice knew at least something about...
- I'm so tired of you being secretive. We've been together for seven years, and yet you still can't trust me. How do you think that makes me feel? Do you think I'm happy that you won't talk to me? That I have to worry that you're just a figment of my imagination? -
- I can't just let you boss me around and then let you hide huge things from me, I can't let you isolate me because you think I'll be safer that way. I can't. Let you. Control my life. -
Deafening silence rung in his head, with him barely holding back an upset sniffle. He'd actually managed to work himself up.
Then, a moment later, the voice spoke again.
- ... Nine. -
Yakko paused.
- What? -
- ... We've been together for nine years, give or take a few months. -
He... didn't know what to say to that. The voice's tone had become flat and unequivocally exhausted. That fact didn't change anything though, if anything it just made him more upset.
- ... So there's two whole years together with you that I'm completely missing from my memory. Did you think that was going to make me feel better? -
- No. Just saying. -
"Uh... Yakko?"
He blearily noticed Rose was staring at him in concern, waving a hand in front of his face, but he couldn't bring himself to bother with her right then.
- Nothing you say can change my mind, you know. I've already decided. -
- ... -
A tired sigh.
- Okay. -
He blinked rapidly, confused. "Okay"? It really was convinced just like that?
- ... I'm going to be their friend. -
- Okay. -
- And I'm not going to take any precautions. -
- Okay. -
... That was just worrisome. The tired and empty tone hadn't left it, instead becoming more robotic, icy. It sounded like it had completely given up.
Yakko tried not to fidget, concerned that he'd actually upset the voice. Though, now that he thought about it, he'd... been a bit cruel, hadn't he?
Okay, scratch that- He'd been really cruel. The constant hiding was a problem for him, a big one, but... The voice was his friend, and still he'd argued with it as if it were his enemy. It didn't deserve that. Objectively, Yakko knew it only had his best interests at heart, despite how it could act sometimes.
Besides, despite all the problems, he still valued its friendship too much to leave things like that...
- I'm sorry, I went too far. You know I don't think you're a bad guy, right? -
- ... Okay. -
- Don't just say "okay", I'm serious. -
- ... What else... am I supposed to say... ? -
His back immediately straightened, his eyes widening in shock and horror. Shit.
Its tone was so wobbly and sad, it sounded like it was on the verge of crying. He hadn't thought his words would upset it that much!
- Oh no, no no no I'm sorry, I didn't mean it! I was just upset! Y-You know how I get! -
To his dismay he heard a couple of hiccups and sniffs, betraying the fact that if the voice had had a face it would have been wet with tears. Small ones though, thankfully it wasn't outright sobbing.
- I'm sorry for what I said, you didn't deserve that- -
- Don't. I'm... I'm taking a nap. -
- But Voice-! -
- Goodnight. -
As if the voice had never spoken to begin with, it went completely silent, to the point where Yakko could barely sense it anymore- and in the same moment, Rose jumped in her chair, making him jump too, in surprise to what she'd done.
"What the-" her eyes were wide, holding her chair with a white-knuckled grip.
"What? What happened?" Yakko looked around himself frantically to search for the source of Rose's distress, but he didn't see anything.
"Your- Eyes, they were-..." her eyebrows were so furrowed Yakko was almost convinced her face would get stuck like that "How did you...?"
"How did I what?"
"Do... that."
""That"?"
"With your eyes! How did you make them change color like that?" she jumped in her seat, now more intrigued than alarmed.
"Change... color?" he blinked confusedly. He had no idea what she was talking about.
"Yeah! They went red and pointy and-"
"Rose!"
At the call, Rose turned her head to the side and Yakko followed her gaze. Marilyn was waving her over excitedly from the circle she, StarDust, Wakko, and Dot had made while talking, jumping up and down as if she had great news to tell her "Wakko and Dot were just asking about this new move you taught them- Mind coming over here and explaining it again?"
Wakko and Dot looked over from their place beside the two sisters, their smiles big, but their eyes distressed.
And Yakko felt himself tense instantly because he could tell at first glance that his siblings were not interested in being taught the move again at all. The reason why Marilyn was calling Rose over was because his siblings had wanted to distract Rose from whatever she had just seen. It meant that not only had they been paying attention, but that they were aware enough of what had happened to want to hide it from Rose.
Now, the question was: What had just happened? He hadn't felt any different, but... the voice...
God, he felt like such a jerk. Sure, it'd crossed a line, but Yakko had gone on a full-on rant and had basically called it an obsessive control freak. A little too far for his taste. Or a lot. He'd reacted to a fear of the unknown and of being trapped, but... still.
Really though, was a name too much to ask for? Was it too much to ask what it was doing in his head? How it'd gotten there? Knowing would certainly make him trust it more, because he would know a bit more about it.
He wanted to know more. He wanted to be able to trust it more. He just... He just wanted for things to be okay between them...
With a distressed huff he squared his shoulders and decided to forget about it for now. He'd let the voice cool off until bedtime... Then he'd apologize properly, like he was supposed to.
"Yeah, yeah" Rose sighed to her twin sister, getting up from the chair and taking the book with her. He would have been sad that she didn't trust him enough to leave the book there on the table, but it was very important to her, so he understood. Baby steps.
As Rose moved away, sending him one last curious look, Yakko resolved on forgetting about the odd "eye-color change" for now too. He wasn't really in the mood for an investigation, and it'd probably been a trick of the light anyway.
Instead, he supposed it would be good to find something to distract himself with, so while the blonde showed his siblings the move they had demanded to be taught again, he offered to cook dinner.
"You can cook?" Rose sounded incredulous, while StarDust looked mildly curious and Marilyn grinned at the thought of possibly better food than what her twin made.
"Yup" he merely responded, standing a little straighter with pride. He didn't want to brag, but he was pretty good at cooking.
"His pizza is the nectar of the gods" Wakko's eyes twinkled just thinking about the delicious meal, completely forgetting about the move Rose had been showing them. He bounced over excitedly to his older brother and crashed into his side to hold onto his arm in a vice grip "Can you make some? We haven't had any since we came here!"
"Yeah, I miss your food!" Dot agreed, sending him a big grin "I may be the cute one, but you're the chef."
"I like that idea" Marilyn smiled at him "Doesn't even have to be pizza- I'd take almost anything right about now."
Rose however, rolled her eyes "Don't encourage him. I bet the two menaces are just exaggerating."
The "menaces" turned to look at Rose with offended eyes, giving her a pout "We are not!"
"They aren't. I'm just that good" Yakko chuckled softly when the blonde sent him an un-amused look "What? Afraid everyone's going to love my cooking more than yours when they try it?"
"My food is great, shut up!" Rose stuck her tongue out at him to show him she was just playing along with his teasing.
"I didn't say it was bad, I just said mine is better" he grinned big at her when she just glowered at him. This was just the kind of distraction he needed.
"Can you cook for us? Pleeeeeeeease?" Marilyn sent him a pleading look, her eyes wide and batting her eyelashes. Why had Dot taught her that? "I'm tired of eating potato salad every other day" then she leaned over to him and put a hand around her mouth, as if she was going to tell him a secret "And Rose underseasons the food."
"I do not!" she protested, ramrod straight and with an insulted expression on her face "It's not my fault salt is so expensive!"
"We're princesses Rose, I think we can afford some goddamn salt" Marilyn rolled her eyes, and StarDust lightly hit her over the head for swearing. The younger just pouted at her while rubbing her head on principle.
"It's not the only seasoning you can use though" Yakko shrugged "Ever heard of pepper? Basil? Oregano?"
"What the flying fuck is an "orekao"?" Rose looked at him as if he'd gone crazy.
"Oregano, they're dried leaves mostly used in Italian or American cooking, but you can also find it in many other parts of the world" he explained, chuckling when the blonde just kept staring at him with a blank expression.
"Why the hell do you know that?"
"Cooking shows, of course. I have plenty more useless food facts if you want any."
Rose opened her mouth, probably to ask what other kind of odd facts he knew, but instead she shook her head with a smile "No thanks, that was something I didn't need to know."
"But now you do!" he smiled at her, teasingly "Aren't you glad to have learned something new?"
"Okay, fine" she rolled her eyes, but punched him playfully on the arm when she walked over to him nonetheless "But you better be as good as those two say you are" she smiled at him, gesturing at his siblings.
"Of course I am!" he grinned, secretly glad to be useful for something "Just give me the right ingredients and I'll get right to it."
"I too am interested in seeing your culinary skills" StarDust nodded and Yakko almost jumped in surprise when she sent him a small smile. He'd been graced by the elusive StarDust smile! Wow "I will admit it would be nice to eat something different for once."
"Man, if you guys are going to complain about my cooking so much then let Yakko be the new chef" Rose huffed, sulkily turning away to sit back down at the dinner table.
"Aw, don't be sad Rose" he slid over to her, giving her a fake pouty look over the table "I for one love your underseasoned potato salad."
"Shut up" she slapped him away lightly, but sent him an unwilling smile "Though... I want to eat pizza every once in a while too."
"The leader has spoken: We're getting pizza tonight as celebration for you guys' first completed mission!" Marilyn laughed and celebrated doing a silly dance, and his siblings only stared at her for a moment before shrugging and joining in. StarDust just watched and shook her head, but she was chuckling in amusement.
Pizza celebration dance was a thing, apparently.
Yakko turned to get into the kitchen to start preparing the food, taking out the ingredients while Rose sat at the table with her chin in her hand, staring at what he was doing. Once he'd taken out everything he needed - curiously they had all the necessary ingredients... Someone had planned this and Yakko suspected his siblings had something to do with it - Rose hummed to attract his attention.
"I bet it'll taste like feet" she cheerily mocked him, kicking her legs back and forth happily.
Yakko just turned around to look at her with a sickeningly sweet, and threatening, smile "I'll make you eat those words."
Author's note: ... Children, stop fighting.