Author's note: Hey, it hasn't even been a month this time! I'll try to keep this semi-schedule of uploading every 18th or around that date, but it's very tentative lol. Also, I've started writing some Undertale stories since this one was giving me difficulties. If any of you like Sans x Reader, heads up, I might be uploading a few fics at some point. This story is still my priority though, so don't worry about it dying OvO

Remember when I said last chapter that things were gonna get worse? Things got worse. Please look at the warnings in the end notes if you need to, this chapter always makes me a little queasy whenever I re-read it and it's not even that bad when it comes to how descriptive it is. Thumbs up if you're traumatized after this!

"Ow! Dot, quit kicking me!"

"You're the one who's got his foot in my face, Wakko!"

"Guys! Shh!"

Yakko grunted and glared at the darkness as the feet of both his siblings connected with his stomach in their attempt to terrorize each other. Since they couldn't see anything in the darkness they thought they'd gotten each other and continued arguing. Yakko just rolled his eyes and hoped one of the Milers would come get them soon.

When Rose had told him that they would finally get to do a mission the day before, this wasn't what he'd imagined. Sitting inside a cold, desolate box of cucumbers, waiting for the three Milers to do their part of the plan wasn't exactly what they would like to be doing.

Marilyn had given them the debriefing, saying that they were going to be "borrowing" some supplies from a rich butcher's back in Aphrodite. According to Rose, it was a fairly simple mission (or robbery, which was essentially what they were doing) since they were going to be breaking into the butcher's at night and nobody was going to report a robbery happening in Aphrodite. Most warners living in the city were too uncaring to help someone else by calling the cops. They'd gotten so blinded by their own problems they hardly cared about those of others, and Rose had argued that even if someone did end up calling the cops on them they would be long gone before the police arrived.

Yakko really didn't like stealing, especially when the person they would be stealing from hadn't done anything wrong. When he'd tried to talk it over with Rose though, she'd just told him to understand that this was how low they had to go, that this was how poor most of the population was. She'd explained that she couldn't send them to steal money from Athena's vault because the castle was too well secured for the three siblings' level of experience, and that this was the easiest actual mission she'd been able to come up with.

Besides, the three Milers had knowledge of quite a few poor circles back in Artemis that were in desperate need of food, and StarDust had suggested that they actually bring them such instead of sending money that they could end up accidentally wasting, since most had little to no education and could be easily fooled into an awful business deal when shopping. Aparently there were many sellers who took advantage of the poorer parts of WarnerStock by charging them far more than they should for their purchases.

Yakko had just sighed and let it go, mostly because he'd known about such a thing happening from human territory, where this was fairly common, and decided that regardless of his morals they were right. He'd thought that maybe warners weren't as despicable in wanting to take advantage of others, but unfortunately it seemed they were just as bad. He'd had a little too much faith in his species it seemed.

StarDust had gotten each of them one of the black suits she and her sisters had been wearing when they had first met, after making sure she knew their measurements of course. She'd proudly presented the suits to them, and Wakko and Dot's eyes had almost sparkled as they'd put them on, whispering excitedly to Yakko that they looked like ninjas. He'd just snorted and taken his own suit, not a fan of the restrictive material but prepared to put up with it.

After the sisters had given each of them their uniform and some weapons just in case things turned ugly, Rose'd explained the plan in great detail. Yakko, Wakko, and Dot were to wait in a secluded area where nobody would spot them until the three sisters went to get them. StarDust, Marilyn, and Rose, after guiding them to said hiding spot, were going to find a way into the butcher's, make sure they disabled any alarms that could hinder their mission, and retrieve them. They would all then sneak in, take as much meat as they could take, and return to base.

It was that simple.

Yakko noticed that Wakko and Dot were cranky at the fact that their part in such a mission was so small and that this was probably the reason why they were currently trying to kick each other to death. They were taking their frustration out on each other because they didn't want to seem childish in front of the Milers by complaining about their small role, but God forbid they give him the same courtesy. Yakko hadn't even bothered to say anything; after the pointless fight he'd had with Rose, he'd fortunately learned that he needed to be patient, and besides, what was so bad about not having to do anything besides stuff meat in bags? Well, aside from being stuck inside the box he'd already mentioned which, by the way, was very cramped and hard to move in, even for how big it was considering the three of them fit in it. This was also why his beloved brother and sister kept kicking him and probably ended giving him adorable bruises.

Why the heck did he love these two. He should demand a refund and get himself another pair of siblings, because these ones just gave him a headache.

"If you two keep kicking me I swear to everything that is holy you'll both be grounded 'till you're eighteen!" he hissed out as he managed to grab both their ankles on the legs that had been about to strike him yet again. A moment later he heard two very distinct "eep!"s.

"Sorry, Yakko" they both squeaked in unison, and the crate went still.

He breathed out a sigh of relief. Thank God that was over.

At that moment, the crate conveniently opened and light flooded into it, blinding them for a second. When they could finally see again, they were greeted by Rose's decidedly not amused face.

"It's a good thing that there's not a soul out here at this hour, because otherwise you'd already have been caught and hung by your tongues."

Wakko and Dot grimaced at the thought, but Yakko just pleaded with his eyes for her to let him into the outside world once again for some much needed space. Thankfully, she sent him a compassionate, knowing look and stepped aside, moment in which he practically flew out of the box.

"Freedom!" Yakko whispered loudly as he stretched his muscles with glee. He would have shouted, but the success of their mission depended on them being sneaky and quiet, and screaming out that he was finally out of that kick-in-a-box would definitely ruin everything.

"You too. Be quiet or I'll hang you from your tongue myself" Rose, now in a better mood, jokingly punched his arm and sent him a smirk "We have to get going. Marilyn's already disabled the alarm and StarDust's managed to pick the locks, so all that's left is to get you guys there. Hope none of you are squeamish about raw meat in your face."

Yakko could practically feel the voice brooding in his head at Rose's comment. Knowing what the mission was about had made him extremely cranky for... reasons.

With that said, Rose turned around and waved a hand behind her so they would follow her. Luckily, StarDust had already left them only a block away from the butcher's so that they would have more chances of getting away in case the sisters were found out (not that that was likely to happen), so it didn't take them long at all to arrive at the building. Obviously, being sneaky did not mean entering through the front door in the middle of the night, so instead of admiring the huge sign on top of the door and shoving it open, Rose led them around the building toward the back. When Rose tried pulling the back door, true to her word, it opened easily, courtesy of her older and twin sister's work.

Instead of going in first, Rose made a mock-courtesy at him, sent him a smirk, and motioned for him to get inside with her arms. Yakko merely huffed at her, kept his head up high, and entered, trying not to smile.

The building wasn't anything Yakko hadn't ever seen before. It was the ordinary back of an ordinary butcher's shop, with several knives and other utensils to cut meat sitting on top of a wooden table, which he eyed wearily. In front of them was a door, which Yakko supposed lead to the freezers, and Marilyn and StarDust were standing there, waiting for them. Next to their feet were several bags they could put the meat in and they held disposable gloves in their hands.

"Alright guys," Rose began when they were all inside and she'd closed the door, putting her hands together and giving them a serious look. As she spoke, everyone put on their gloves "Don't think about how easy this was, just concentrate on getting as much loot as possible. And don't be greedy; these bags can only hold so much weight before they give out."

The collective nod she received seemed to be enough for her to open the door in front of them and go inside, prompting them forward with a hand. They slipped past the entrance way, one by one, each with a bag in hand. Yakko, being the last to enter, ignored what was in front of him and turned around to close the door behind him.

However, when he went to turn back around, he froze.

It wasn't that he'd forgotten this was one of the things he was strangely nauseated by, like white walls. It wasn't that he'd forgotten where the mission would take place, or what they were supposed to be doing. It wasn't that he'd forgotten he hated the sight of meat. He'd just hoped that with time this would have fixed itself, but it clearly hadn't, judging by the way his hair stood on end when his eyes lied upon the rows and rows of big chunks of meat hanging from the ceiling.

He probably should have warned Rose about his strange meat-phobia, but he'd been too scared of sounding like an idiot. The voice let out a barely heard growl at the way he started to shake in place.

As the three sisters got to work, their backs to him, he was actually not surprised that Wakko and Dot had stopped in their tracks with him and were currently staring at him as if asking "can you really do this?" If he had any phobias his siblings knew about them already. In one way or another, they'd found out he hated these things with him, because, being an amnesiac, he hadn't known these things were horrible for him until he'd experienced them for the first time, and since they'd lived together for as long as he could remember... Well, you get the idea.

They looked after him as much as he looked after them, and they'd known this would be hard for him, but hadn't said anything to the sisters because they knew how ashamed he was of being horrified of every-day stuff. Like the issue with the voice, they were letting him decide what he wanted to do himself, since this was his problem.

Taking a deep breath and stifling the shakes, he discreetly nodded to them and walked forward with a bag in his hand. He was simply going to follow his original plan and hold out until they could return to the base; he'd even close his eyes if it was necessary. Though they immediately went to work, Yakko knew his siblings were still sending worried glances at him occasionally.

Trying to act natural and hoping he wouldn't throw up in the middle of the freezer, Yakko patted his stomach once for good luck and set out to stuff meat in his designated bag. He suddenly remembered Rose's earlier words of "hope none of you are squeamish about raw meat in your face." Oh, if only she knew.

Still, he found it surprisingly easy to do the job efficiently so long as he didn't think too much about it and ignored the shivers going down his spine every time he would pick up a piece. He was surprised he was not freaking out as much as he'd thought he would. Maybe it was because nobody was actually eating the meat.

When he grabbed a piece that felt particularly squishy and not properly refrigerated, to distract himself from the sudden need to hurl it across the room, he started watching the others.

The three sisters were the ones furthest away from the door, with him being the one closest to it. Wakko and Dot were in the middle, acting as some kind of barrier so none of the blondes could see Yakko acting strange. Rose, for some reason, seemed to be glancing behind her at all three of them every once in a while, as if reassuring herself that they were still there and that they were still okay. He figured she was nervous that this was the first mission she'd ever sent them on, and he felt slightly happy that she was so concerned. Underneath that tough exterior there was genuine care for them.

- I think that's enough, don't you? -

- Eh? -

Yakko stopped his train of thought when the voice suddenly spoke.

- I said, I think that's enough meat. You should excuse yourself. -

For a moment, Yakko was about to ask the voice if he was actually serious, but the clipped way in which he'd said the words was answer enough.

- We're in the middle of a mission! That would be terribly unprofessional. -

- Blondie said that you were supposed to tell her if you were having issues with anything. This is kinda the moment where you should tell her. Besides, that bag's about to burst… I think it'd be okay if you just waited in the backroom for a few minutes. -

As he looked down at his meat bag Yakko had to admit that it did look pretty full...

But there was still room for a little more before it became too much, and he was itching to be useful.

- No way. I've already gone this far, just a little more isn't going to kill me. Heck, maybe my phobia is gone already. -

Yakko knew the voice wanted to roll his eyes, but instead, he just sighed.

- No Yakko, it's not gone. You're just ignoring the elephant in the room. -

- … They always say you should face your fears? -

- You're not facing your fears, you could actually hurt yourself! Just let it go, I'm sure Blondie won't be angry at you if you explain. -

Surprising that the voice would defend Rose like that, but he was probably just using whatever excuse he could to convince Yakko. That wasn't really the problem though, and he looked down at his slightly bloodied disposable gloves with a grimace.

- ... I'll sound ridiculous. This is ridiculous. I'm ridiculous. -

- You're not. You have your reasons. -

Yakko didn't even need to ask the voice to elaborate, because he continued in a tone that said he knew exactly what the problem was and that the knowledge was somehow messing him up just as much.

- ... Trust me on this. If you somehow remember, it could screw you up. -

Did that mean he had a shot at remembering something if he kept going?

That was how he decided that screw it, he was going to keep going, because he was strong and the thought of more information about his past excited him. Unwavering in his decision, he began filling the bag once more.

- Yakko! For God's sake, will you ever think before you fucking act? I just told you, you're going to hurt yourself! -

Yakko rolled his eyes.

- Christ, quit being such a mom. I'm fine. -

- I'm dead serious, stop what you're doing right now and get out. -

- Hm, let me think about it… No. -

It'd been a bit since the voice had growled that loudly, it almost made Yakko drop the piece he was holding.

- That stubbornness of yours is gonna get you killed. -

- ... -

All in all, things were going pretty well. The voice's angry comments were keeping him distracted, and he'd almost completely filled his bag and made sure that it wasn't so heavy that it would rip. A moment later he lifted his head up to announce to Rose that he was done, feeling quite proud of himself for managing despite everything-

And that was when he knew he should have listened to the voice, because the meat hanging on the hooks had started to look like people.

He had the instinct to scream in surprise, to step back, maybe to ask one of the others if they saw it too or if he'd just gone crazy, but he didn't have the voice to. His body was frozen in fear, and his throat would only make an almost silent scratchy sound when he tried to speak.

A thought suddenly came to him as he realized what was actually going on. There were no people hanging from the ceiling, turning their heads toward him and staring at him with their soulless eyes, mouthing swear words at him as if it were somehow his fault that they were dead and hung on display. No, these figures were still the meat that had been there a few seconds ago.

He was just hallucinating.

- Fuck, I fucking told you, I told you you were going to mess yourself up- -

The headache he'd felt back when he'd met Elias was back, but this time it was somehow even more painful. He faintly heard the voice telling him to turn his face around in a shaky tone, to stop looking at his hallucination of the people - at the meat - that was starting to cloud over, as if suddenly the room had been enveloped by fog. However, he was too focused on what was happening in front of him to pay attention to his worried friend.

The image in front of him distorted into another, an invisible entity pushing and pulling at the walls, at the objects, and at the others standing in front of him until, instead of the butcher's, he was at another place entirely. The walls were a deadly white, and were bent so as to form a room in the shape of a circle all together.

White walls.

He was sitting down on the white ceramic floor underneath him along with several others, who were laughing and smiling among themselves. They were children, surely younger than him, but when he went to look around him and saw his thin arms and his tiny feet, he was pretty sure that he was a child too. They were holding metal bowls in their hands, and a huge black mass hovered over to them holding a container. He didn't know who the mass was, but he did know that they were an awful person and that he hated them.

The person scratched out of his memory started putting something red and squishy inside the children's bowls, and they squealed in gratitude and started... eating.

Sudden panic, horror, and disgust took over him.

Nonononono they weren't supposed to eat that!

They didn't know any better, they were ecstatic about getting "good food" for once, but he knew what they were eating, and if they knew they would vomit it out just like he wanted to do just from looking at them-

"Yo, Dead Eyes" one of the children, who was directly in front of him suddenly called out. The small boy of hardly eight was looking at him as if he was an alien, disgust reflected on his features. Had they really nicknamed him Dead Eyes? "Eat, you weirdo. You think you're too good for food now?"

As if everyone had suddenly noticed he was the only one not touching his bowl, which he had moved as far away as possible from him with a shaky hand, they all lifted their heads to stare at him. They had all been eating so messily there was blood at the corners of their lips, and when they spoke among themselves he could see tiny pieces of meat wedged between their teeth-

Oh God, he was going to be sick.

"You should eat" another person, this one sitting next to him, spoke in a gentler voice. When he turned his head, there was another black mass there, but this one had a red shade to it and an even gentler aura. He felt like this one was a friend "You'll starve otherwise... Who knows when they'll feed us again."

"I'm... not... hungry" he spoke in a tiny and scratchy voice against his will, though he knew that the one who had spoken hadn't been the present him, but the him in the past. These were things that had already happened.

Everyone stared, but like hell he was touching that bowl, he'd rather starve. With his luck the meat would probably be Sunshine's liver or something-

"Yakko?"

He jumped maybe three feet in the air when a hand touched his shoulder, and suddenly the room he'd been in and the children eating what had likely once been their friends disappeared. He was at the butcher's again, staring at the cuts of meat hanging from the hooks on the ceiling.

He turned around slowly, only to find Rose staring at him with a very confused expression on her face.

"What are you...?" when she saw how pale his face was she let the half-formed question go and her eyebrows rose to her hairline as her eyes widened "Holy shit, are you okay? You look like you've seen a ghost!"

"... I ..." his voice was stuck in his throat. He gave one last panic-filled glance toward the meat, which had gone back to normal, and turned his eyes back to Rose.

"I'm... fine... Just-" he almost held a hand to his mouth as if he were about to vomit- and the way his stomach rumbled unhappily when he noticed the still bloodied gloves and stopped himself in his tracks wasn't acting "Meat... It's... disgusting."

Rose seemed surprised, but a little less scared than she'd been before "Oh... Are you a vegetarian...?"

Not even close. He'd never had a problem with eating meat, especially white meat, because it could be on the table for everyone to enjoy and he'd be fine. He actually loved the taste of meat overall; it was the sight of others eating meat, more specifically red meat, that he couldn't stand. He remembered one time that he'd made steak, but the moment Wakko and Dot had been about to take a bite he'd panicked and told them not to eat it. That he'd cook something else.

After that little memory, he understood why. It seemed like, because he'd never actually eaten the... questionable meat in his past, he had no problem actually consuming any, but the sight of others eating it? It brought chills to his spine and made a cold sweat run down his neck.

This was too complicated to explain to Rose however "... Something like that."

The fact that they'd only eaten vegetables and food with wheat so far supported his story of vegetarianism. He was surprised nobody had cooked any meat yet, but apparently it was really expensive and Yakko had never been so thankful for inflation.

"... Oh" Rose looked like she didn't know what to say, and was eyeing him carefully, a bit worried still "Well, it's good to know. So long as you aren't vegan, we won't have a problem" she shrugged uncomfortably as she discreetly and gently moved him away from the dangling meat "They don't make the kind of supplements necessary for that sort of lifestyle here."

"… Right" he wasn't very interested in keeping the conversation going and he could tell Rose wasn't either, so he decided to change the topic drastically, clearing his throat. He quickly ripped the gross disposable gloves from his hands "So… Are you done?"

"Huh?" she seemed surprised that he'd spoken for a moment, probably because she'd spaced out, but quickly shook her head and replied with a shaky smile on her face "Um, yeah, I came to see if everyone else was done… Seems you are too."

With a weary sigh, Rose tugged his bag closed and handed it to him, clearly trying to make sure he was forced to see as little meat as possible from then on. She then proceeded to very gently push him in the direction of the door, nodding to him once.

"I'm just going to go check on everyone else, you get going. We'll be there in a minute."

As she walked away, Yakko gave a slightly winded growl of frustration. Great, now she thought that he couldn't handle the sight of food he couldn't eat. He'd ended up looking like a total buffoon.

He tried not to drag his feet as he opened the door to the backroom and closed it behind himself, letting out an involuntary sigh of relief as he did so.

- … Yakko... -

- I know, I know. You were right, I was wrong… I'm sorry… -

He was still trying his best not to throw up in the middle of the room, and by the voice's tone it seemed like he was in a similar situation.

- You should have listened to me. -

- I know. -

- Now you have a horrifying image of kids eating people in your head. Was that what you wanted? -

The voice didn't sound angry at all, just seemed tired and disgusted, but Yakko still took it like a personal attack. He hugged himself tightly.

- No, of course not... I just, I just wanted- -

- To remember. To remember a horrible time in your life, one that I've told you again and again should just be left dead and buried. One that you insist on trying to dig up despite my warnings. -

- Did you think I wasn't telling you anything about your past because I like messing with you or something? These are the kinds of memories you have to look forward to if you keep digging. Is that really what you want? -

He felt tempted to slide down to the floor, tears prickling at his eyes. He knew he had no idea what he was doing, that he was a moron. Did the voice need to remind him?

- I'm sorry. I didn't mean to, I just want to... I don't want something I don't understand to control me... To control how I act. -

There was a pause in which the voice seemed to compose himself, and then he sighed. When he spoke next he sounded sad, sheepish and gentle.

- No... I'm sorry, it makes sense that you would feel like that. That you would want to know despite everything. I just... You get why I'm always trying to stop you? That memory may have been horrific, but at least it was mild because it was more the implication that was horrible. It wasn't like... Like they were eating a full leg, or arm or something. -

His fur frazzled at just the mental image, shuddering with eyes wide in disbelief.

- That was mild? I'd hate to see what something intense looks like. -

After a moment, the voice took in a shuddering breath. His tone was miserable.

- ... You've seen horrible, horrible things, Yakko. I couldn't help you then, and I can't help you now. All I can really do is warn you. -

The words made his heart break a little. Did he really have to choose between knowledge and his own sanity? Wouldn't these memories come back by themselves eventually anyway?

As he pondered this, completely put off, he heard the door open and was suddenly face to face with a still worried Rose. Upon seeing his still disturbed face she seemed to worry even further, slowly getting closer to him and tentatively rising a hand to put on his shoulder. She let it drop immediately when he flinched at the motion.

"Well... Glad to see nobody came in to stop us. Good job keeping a lookout, Yakko."

He almost asked her what the heck she was talking about, but he realized this was just her cover story so as to not make him look bad. Honestly surprised and slightly touched at the fact that she'd caught on to his embarrassment about the whole thing and was trying to be tactful about it, he smiled a little. It hadn't been super effective, considering everyone was sending him slightly worried looks as they walked off to the back door, but at least she'd tried.

"No problem. I was, uh, getting bored in there anyway" as a thank you, he poked her arm when she slipped past him.

She didn't poke him back, but sent him an uncomfortable yet teasing smile "Oh, I'm sorry, I could send you alone next time? Make it more exciting?"

He laughed nervously at the thought "Please don't."

Rose laughed softly at that, waving him over to the backroom's door where everyone was watching the exchange with concern. Yakko was thankful for the fact that they could finally go back and he could leave all of this behind him.

He found it hard to fall asleep that night. He tossed and turned in his bed, and every time he closed his eyes he could see the memory, as if it was stuck to his eyelids. Even the voice wasn't able to calm him down.

Just- The sounds of them chewing, seeing them eating, even him touching his bowl to move it away- it was all so real. It felt like it was happening right at that moment, like he could do something to stop it even if this was an event that had happened long ago.

In the middle of one of his struggles to try and sleep, he heard Rose turn over in her own bed, and though for a moment he thought she would just continue sleeping, when she got up from her bed he knew he had woken her up. She wordlessly walked over to his bed and sat down next to his lying down body, gently tapping his shoulder to get his attention.

When he turned around to stare at her, trying to put his best mask of happiness on his face, she just gave him a serious yet gentle look.

"Hey," she whispered, knowing his ears were sensitive from the long period of silence "If something is ever bothering you, or if you know something is going to bother you about a mission before we go, tell me, okay? I can't have you freaking out in the middle of it."

It sort of felt like he was being reprimanded, and he slightly hid his face behind his sheets, ashamed at his childish actions "Sorry Rose…"

He felt her gently tugging his blanket down, and once he could see her again, he noticed her gaze had softened, and she lightly flicked his nose "I'm not telling you off, bozo. I'm saying your health matters to me, so… Just tell me. You're not the only one who has problems they're ashamed of."

It felt like they were… connecting, in a way, and he couldn't help but stare at her in mild surprise "… Okay. I'll… try."

Rose nodded. This seemed enough for her "Good. Now try to sleep, 'kay?"

Her consideration made him feel a lot lighter, and getting rid of the heaviness in his heart seemed to have awoken his sleepiness, for he yawned a moment later "'Kay."

Smiling at him, she went back to bed. He'd thought the conversation had ended, but when she covered herself with her blankets and he turned around to attempt sleeping once again, he heard her speak.

"Goodnight" she said quietly.

Somehow this made him feel even lighter.

"Goodnight" he replied just as quietly, but with a smile on his face.

They were definitely friends now.

- Whaaaaat, where's my goodnight? Unfair. -

Though he hadn't been expecting the voice to act up right then, let alone to sound so softly teasing as if trying to cheer him up even a little, Yakko smiled at his words and made himself comfortable in his bed.

- Goodnight. -

- Damn straight. -

With that, Yakko closed his eyes, but before he fell asleep, he heard a much gentler tone coming from the voice.

- Goodnight. -

A bigger smile formed on his face at the words.

Somehow, he managed to fall asleep.

Hearing the girl laughing in the deep recesses of his mind was less alarming than it had been the first time, but it made him flinch nonetheless. He could tell she had gotten the slightest bit stronger from that little flashback.

"Nice going there" she let out a huff of a laugh, an imaginary drum-roll resounding in his head "And your reward for being a stubborn shithead is: a horrifying memory! I hope you're happy."

- Thanks for the reminder, not like I didn't beat myself up enough about it earlier. -

Yakko sighed, dragging a hand down his face. He wasn't going to be able to get any sleep at this rate, was he? This was, what, the fourth time he'd woken up now? What time even was it?

A glance at the alarm clock revealed it to be 3 am. Truly this time of night was his worst enemy. At least the voice was asleep, Yakko wouldn't hear the end of it if the voice found out he was still feeling bad about the whole meat thing.

- Am I gonna have to stay up drinking tea again or are you going to shut up long enough so I can sleep? -

"Well, that really depends on you, but I think I'm gonna stick around for a bit longer" she grinned menacingly "It's hard to hurt you when there's others around after all. Getting you when you're alone seems the most effective."

- I'm not scared of you, you know. -

Tiredly, Yakko got out of bed, only pausing in the darkness to make sure Rose hadn't been woken up by his moving. Since all she did was turn over and continue softly snoring, he figured it was safe enough to open the door and sneak to the kitchen.

- You're just... annoying. -

"Maybe you aren't scared of me, but I still don't make you feel good now do I?" she giggled, a shrill voice as he grabbed a mug from the cupboard "You can't ignore me, but you can't acknowledge me either. Doing that would mean you have to listen to what I have to say."

- I've already listened to you way too much in the past. I'm trying to do the opposite now. -

He put water in the mug and then stuck it in the microwave, hoping nobody would come see what he was doing. He'd really like to be alone for a bit... With a shake of his head, he rummaged around in the cupboard until he found the kind of tea he wanted, getting out a small Chamomile tea bag.

"Ah, hello there, my good old friend" he whispered to the tea bag like only a true insomniac could, getting his warm cup of water from the microwave and moving to sit down at the table "You truly are the best partner for sleepless nights like these."

"I'm amazed you aren't in an institution at this point."

- And I'm amazed that you haven't gotten new material by now. -

He dunked his tea bag into the water calmly, his chin rested on one hand as his elbow rested on the table. His eyes watered, but he knew he wouldn't get to sleep until the girl got bored of insulting him. It took too much concentration to ignore the things she said, took too much effort to pretend none of it bothered him. If he failed he'd be up all night.

The girl, rather than deflate, perked up at his returned insult, giggling "Says the one who almost crumbled because of my 'old material' the other day. Don't kid yourself, you were about to cry like the stupid baby you are" he gripped his mug tighter. Her laughing subsided, but her tone of voice still revealed some amusement "Besides, you know that the more memories you get, the more material I will have."

- ... You just surprised me. It'd been a while since... since I felt that bad. It won't happen again. -

With shaking hands he brought the cup to his lips, sipping at the supposedly calming liquid. It never really relaxed him, but it did make him sleepy, so he kept drinking it. He was glad he'd asked Rose for permission to buy a shitton of boxes; with the way things were going he was unsure of how many sleepless nights he'd have.

- As for the memories... I need to know what I'm forgetting. It looks too important. -

"Oh, okay, I understand" she rolled her eyes, and he could almost see her leaning against his table. His perception of reality must have been worse than he'd thought "You want more cannibalism in your life, just like any sane person."

"Fuck!" he barely managed to stop himself from yelling, letting go of his mug so violently some of the liquid spilled onto the floor. His hands came up to cover his mouth, his breaths coming out shaky and fickle. Nausea filled him "I wanted to forget about that for at least a little while, you bitch."

He could hear her guffawing like a hyena, no doubt pleased about having perturbed him and gotten him to swear at her so angrily. All he did was grab at his mug again and drink quicker. Maybe if he drank three cups in a row he'd put himself in a coma. He could hope it would at least.

"See? You can't handle it! Who knows what other kinds of things are inside that stupid noggin of yours? Soon you'll be drinking to forget and become a raging alcoholic nobody wants to be around" then, she smiled cheekily "Well. Not that anyone wants to be around you now either."

He grit his teeth, drinking a little more.

- You always say that. -

"I only say it 'cause it's true."

He'd already drank his whole cup and nothing had been accomplished, so he got up and put more water in the microwave to make himself some more tea. It didn't seem like that'd be enough this time however, so he looked around the living room until he found some paper and a pen, perfect for what he had planned.

He sighed as he put the implements down, getting the mug of warm water and putting another tea bag in. If tea wasn't working, maybe some cathartic drawing would enhance the relaxing properties of the drink. It'd gotten him through far worse nights after all.

"Oh great, you're going to do your stupid doodling again. You know you suck at it, right? Drawing just isn't your forte. Nothing is, because you can't do anything right. Might as well give up."

- I don't need to be good at it, I just have to like doing it. -

That shut her up. At least he had a foolproof way of beating her when it came to his art, because he wasn't too mad about not being perfect at it. Other things though... She could really get under his skin with the right insults.

It took him shaking his head and drinking some more tea for him to feel ready to even pick up the pen, but when he did he just started drawing. His head wasn't even really in it, his hand just moved and he stared at the page as the drawing was being made.

He burned the first drawing. His head had still been unable to let the scene in his flashback go and as such he'd ended up drawing horrifying closeups of mouths, teeth and ground meat. Blood, kids he only half-remembered, and the figures whose heads had been scratched out of his memory all ended up on the page. He didn't even want to look at it once it was finished despite the great detail he'd put in it, so he'd gotten a lighter, put the paper in the empty metal trash bin, and burnt it. It had actually made him feel a little better, so he resolved to allow himself to draw grisly scenes so long as he destroyed the evidence afterwards.

The second drawing he didn't like that much, but figured it was harmless enough, so he kept it. It was a scene that felt familiar to him, one where he sat under a tree and beautiful flowers fell on his head. There were forget-me-nots all around him and there was a house in the background, the sun shining softly on his face. For some reason the drawing made him feel very sad, and he wondered if it was because he was alone. It felt like someone was supposed to be there with him.

He wanted to frame the third drawing. He'd gone all out and tried his hand at drawing his siblings along with him, and it didn't come out half bad. There were mistakes but the drawing itself made his heart warm, and he would have added the voice as well if he could even think of how to portray him. Making him a shadowy figure behind Yakko seemed too sinister for his character, so he decided to just leave the voice out until he could think of something better. Maybe he'd come back to it at some point.

By then he'd almost finished his second cup and was almost as calm as he could be, letting out a yawn. Maybe he could go to sleep now.

"That's a cute drawing. Too bad Wakko and Dot don't like you and will totally go to live with the prince now. So sad. You'll never see them again."

Oh for Christ's-

No. He couldn't let her ruin his good mood, not when he was so close to blissful sleep. He had to ignore it, and maybe worry about that stuff the morning after.

- ... You can think that if you want. I know my siblings love me, and the people around me care. -

He remained calm, only grumbling a little before putting his two drawings and the implements away. The girl bristled at the fact that he was so relaxed, frustrated at her inability to hurt him.

"No they don't! Did you see how Rose was looking at you back at the butchery? She thinks you're a wimp! An idiot! A complete failure of a soldier!"

Those kinds of insults were familiar territory at least, so he was able to slowly relax his shoulders with a lot of concentration. He could hear the girl rambling in the background, but the tea and cathartic drawing had done what they were supposed to and he could barely hear her anymore. He was too sleepy and his anxiety had gone with the wind.

He drank the last of his tea, hearing a garbled mess that was supposed to be the girl insulting him, and yet her voice was as floaty as his head. He couldn't even understand what she was talking about anymore.

Pleased about having won the night's fight, Yakko stood up slowly, sleepily, and put his mug in the sink. He took relaxed steps back to his and Rose's room, glanced at her sleeping form, and laid down in his bed again.

Maybe he'd be lucky and manage to get at least three hours of sleep...

WARNINGS: (Unknowing) Cannibalism, a character being told they're useless and not loved (it's basically bullying at this point), hallucinations, flashbacks, ... stealing?