Hey it's your girl MrYaksup here bringing you more SAD BITCHES

I'll be real with y'all, I was not expecting this chapter to take this long to write; I expected it to take WAY longer. The reason for that is that for the longest time I was wondering if I should change a certain aspect of the story, but this very thing is like a very important point in the next few chapters, at least where character growth is concerned. If I wanted to remove it I would've had to make an absolute mess of things, so I just decided to say fuck it, and here it is. I will most likely remove this specific thing from the re-write because it's unnecessary and just makes things more convoluted, but for now just take it as an extra sprinkle of Yakko suffering. I gave it to Elias too so as to not make it too much like all the bad things ONLY happen to Yakko, which isn't true but since he's the main character it sometimes seems that way.

ANYWAY enjoy some more Sad Baby Hours, though you guys might want to check out the warnings. Nothing too unpleasant happens, but uh, Yakko calls himself a lot of names and I wanna make it obvious where I stand on that I guess. Aside from that there's nothing more to say. Enjoy the chapter!

Warnings in end notes as always.

"Excuse me? Does it look like I need a head doctor?"

"Yakko. With all due respect, a few names were enough to send you into the worst panic attack I have ever seen. You also fainted. Twice."

"So? I'm perfectly fine. I'm more than capable to go out and fight with all of you-"

"The past few missions say otherwise."

"You know you don't have the man-power to bench me!"

Wakko, Dot and Elias all stared wide-eyed at the way a really frazzled Yakko was practically barking at a frowning StarDust, confused. They'd only just gotten through the threshold when they'd heard them arguing loudly, with Rose and Marilyn staring with uncomfortable gazes. However, the moment Rose saw them, the blonde rushed to their side.

"Oh, thank God, you're back" Rose said with no small amount of relief "Yakko's about to blow a gasket, I need you to help him settle down."

Elias immediately rolled his eyes at this, but Wakko and Dot looked at Rose with worried expressions.

"What happened?" Wakko asked, noting their older brother was far more disheveled than they had left him. He was shaky, a little wild-eyed, more than slightly pale in the face "Weren't you guys just going to go get some info?"

"That was the plan, but…" Rose trailed off as she guided them toward the living room, where Yakko and the oldest Milers were glaring at each other. Well, Yakko glared, while StarDust stared impassively "Yakko had a bit of an episode… and we're really worried about him. We were just going to leave it alone, but StarDust was talking with me about getting him something to help with the panic attacks and-"

"I don't need help" Yakko hissed defensively at her, looking like them suggesting he needed therapy had ruined his entire day "I know the kind of 'help' I'm gonna get, and the last thing I need is another jerk who laughs at me and tells me I'm crazy."

"God, what kind of therapists have you been going to?" Rose quipped with concern, gently grabbing Yakko by the shoulders and moving him to sit on the couch. Yakko bristled and looked like he wanted to protest, but allowed himself to be moved with just a grumble "Humans are that shitty in that respect too?"

"They don't respect anything" Yakko mumbled, upset, crossing his arms "They didn't try to help me, they just wanted to make fun of me for feeling claustrophobic when I'm surrounded by white walls and a bunch of other stuff that now I don't wanna tell anybody."

Rose looked at him sadly, but then turned her gaze to Wakko and Dot, practically pleading for them to help. Yakko's eyes were already avoiding anyone and everyone, staring at the floor as he tapped a nervous rhythm on his thigh with his fingers.

The younger Warners quickly took the seats at either side of Yakko on the couch, surrounding him with support, but still keeping their hands to themselves instead of hugging him. Yakko was twitchy, and when Yakko was twitchy he was more likely to take touch as a negative than as a positive. Just because he had accepted Rose moving him with little more than a hiss didn't mean that another touch would be received that lightly.

"We aren't going to take you to anyone who will laugh at you" StarDust reassured from her place standing up, but Yakko only frowned more deeply at the ground "We will only let them see you once we are sure that they are professional enough to take the matter seriously and do it in a delicate manner-"

"What, like I'm some delicate flower?"

StarDust actually glared at Yakko for that "Now you are just looking for reasons to fight."

"Yakko, please, nobody's going to let anyone hurt you" Rose said gently, getting closer as she passed by Elias, who slipped beside a worried-looking Marilyn "We're not even planning on taking you anywhere near a regular therapist right away! We're just asking you to see someone in private, all very hush-hush, so they can maybe prescribe you something to lessen the symptoms-"

"Prescribe?" Dot's eyes widened at the word, her hand suddenly shooting out of her lap and latching onto Yakko's arm as she turned to look at him with alarm "Yakko, you haven't-?"

"Don't, Dot" Yakko's voice was hard as he said so, turning his glare onto his sister as if he was this close to ripping her hand away from him. From his other side, Wakko slowly shook his head to deter her from pushing it, and Dot slowly took her hand off "I'm perfectly fine. I can handle it."

"You clearly cannot" StarDust refuted, looking like a chiding mother "We were in the middle of recon and the information, which we didn't know would be sensitive for you, sent you into a debilitating panic attack. At the very least we need something that will prevent them for paralyzing you."

"You know perfectly well that it wasn't what Nicolas told you guys that caused it!" Yakko's voice raised, and both Wakko's and Dot's hands shot out to hold gently onto his shoulders so as to keep him in his seat. That only seemed to agitate him further "It was the names of his stupid group!"

"… But you don't know why you reacted like that, or know how to stop it from happening again" Rose said gently, and although Yakko still looked angry as his gaze turned to her, he seemed to calm down the slightest bit "We were just thinking of asking for some light stress-relievers, you know? Nothing, like, that heavy. But you still need a prescription, so we were just going to get someone that we can trust-"

"You guys know a psychiatrist?" Dot jumped up, still wide-eyed, choking on the secret she was keeping back for her brother's sake. Not saying it directly didn't mean she wasn't going to do everything in her power to get him help, however "'Cos Yakko needs a ref-"

"Dot!" then Yakko's voice was raised in a 'you've pissed your father off' voice, standing up beside her, looking at her with something close to rage but clearly trying to hold himself back "I told you not to talk about that!"

By then the three Milers were staring at them with confusion and alarm, realizing that something more important was going on than a mere sibling dispute. Rose in particular looked a little ill.

Wakko looked at Dot with eyes the sizes of plates from where he was still sitting on the couch, begging her to let the matter go, to trust their brother when he said he could handle it, but Dot knew all to well that Yakko was lying. He couldn't handle it, and if she left it up to him, he was going to get himself hurt.

"I can't not talk about it, you've got to be running low by now!" Dot's voice had a note of a plea in it, deeply concerned for her brother "Is that why you've been so bad lately? You know they gave them to you for a reason!"

In a temporary lapse of judgement induced by anger and fear, Yakko yelled out something that he didn't mean to.

"I haven't been taking any since we left and I! Am! Fine!"

Immediately Wakko, who had been silent the whole time up until then, jumped from the couch and stood at Dot's side, eyes wide and voice accusatory, now panicking too.

"You said you were taking them!" Wakko yelled at him, now supporting Dot in her 'protect our idiot brother' plan "But now you tell us you haven't been taking them for months?!"

"I didn't wanna worry you guys!" Yakko said with increasing panic, clearly upset at having blurted that out "Besides I didn't do it on purpose, I just couldn't grab them before we got chased out of the tower! It's not my fault!"

Interrupting the family feud, StarDust dropped the bomb and actually asked "Left what?"

There was a pause. Yakko stared at them, both of them, with what could only be described as a desperate look. Pleading with them to not say it, because he wasn't ready to say it.

But he would never be ready to say it. Wakko and Dot knew. He'd had too many bad experiences with the humans at the lot, and even if the Milers were unlikely to react the same way, he was too afraid of ridicule. Too afraid of being looked at with fear and disgust. The younger warners had been hoping that the oldest would tell the Milers and get the things he needed ages ago, thought he could handle it, but clearly Yakko had decided that he could handle things on his own.

Normally they wouldn't butt in. He was the oldest, the one who knew what he was doing. But Yakko wasn't their father, he was their brother, and siblings looked out for each other. If what Yakko needed was a push to protect himself, then they would do it for him.

"… His meds" Dot finally replied to the question quietly. The tense silence was so thick it could have been cut with a knife "He left his meds at the tower."

Immediately, both Wakko and Yakko turned to look at her, the former with surprise that she'd managed to actually say it, and the latter with an expression that resembled betrayal.

"Dot-" Yakko looked like he was about to have another episode right then and there, hands shaking as he resolutely avoided the Milers' eyes "I said I would tell them when-"

Dot didn't let him bullshit her "Don't start with me!" she pointed at him, small tears of worry in her eyes "We both know you wouldn't have said anything if we'd left it up to you! It's been, what, five, six months? And you haven't been taking them? It's no wonder you're this bad! You're having a relapse!"

Yakko stared at her with an expression filled with anxious anger, still shaking, but didn't bother correcting her. Both Wakko and Dot knew that Yakko knew it was true, and that it was about time that he tried to fight his instinctive reluctance to talk about it. If he continued on without taking his medication, the only thing that would happen would be him getting progressively worse over time.

"… Yakko… ?" Rose's voice was impossibly soft as she tried to get his attention, clearly wanting to calm him down "It's-"

But Yakko didn't let her finish.

The moment Rose started speaking, he seemed to lose it, unable to handle his fear of ridicule and contempt any longer. He still avoided everyone's eyes, his own looking wild as he moved away from everybody and stared at the ground

"Christ- Fine!" Yakko shouted, looking hurt and scared and about to cry "You wanna know what's wrong with me? Fine! I'm schizophrenic, is that what you wanted to hear? That I see and hear things that aren't there? That I'm nuts? Does that answer satisfy you?"

The silence felt like it was choking them.

Out of the corner of Dot's eye she saw Rose take a step toward Yakko, looking heartbroken, like she wanted nothing more than to comfort him- but instead of letting her get close, Yakko instead turned around sharply and ran to his and Rose's room, slamming the door closed.

Then, they heard the sound of the lock.

Nobody spoke for a while, trying to digest what had happened. Eventually, Rose sniffled.

"… Why would he…?" her voice was shaky as she asked the unformed question to herself, hugging her frame. She looked incredibly hurt "We'd never think those things about him… Why didn't he tell me…?"

"… Don't take it personally" Wakko mumbled, putting a hand on an also sniffling Dot's shoulder, holding his own sniffling back "The people at the lot would avoid him half the time like they thought he was insane. He's very… sensitive about it."

"Well no fucking wonder, if they treated him like that" Elias suddenly spoke up after having been quiet the entire talk. He looked extremely pissed off, hands fists at his sides "Who do those humans think they are? I wanna have a fucking talk with their manager-"

"Ellie, sweetie, it's okay" Marilyn hugged his arm to calm him down, looking extremely sad "He won't be hearing those things anymore. When things are a little better maybe you can give him some of yours?"

The prince sighed and pulled his hair back with a shaky hand "It's not that easy Mary. He still needs to be told how much he needs and besides, he probably needs stronger ones than I take-"

"Hold on- do you take medication for schizophrenia too?" Wakko asked as both he and Dot stared at Elias with confusion.

"I. Yeah?" the prince found their confusion equally confusing, shrugging with one shoulder "It's kind of really common in our family. Sure, it sucks, but it's not dangerous for anybody but ourselves. Don't know what the hell is wrong with those humans."

For a moment, Wakko and Dot looked at each other, and then, turned back to Elias.

"You should tell him" Dot suggested with a smile, though she was still sniffly "He'd appreciate having someone who understands and it'll help him get that he's not going to be made fun of."

"You think so?" with a sigh, Elias stared toward the locked door, looking unsure "Out of all of us I think he'd wanna see me the least."

"… I don't think he wants to see me right now either…" Rose still sounded extremely upset, looking down at the ground and holding herself. Everyone was too polite to point out that she was clearly close to tears "He, um… probably needs some space right now. Maybe I'll go see him later…"

"Perhaps it is for the best" StarDust added, staring at the door as well. She looked pensive, a soft frown on her features "I will not discuss this matter any further for now… but I do believe we should restrict what missions Yakko goes on from now on. At least until we can be sure he will not be possibly injured during one due to his panic attacks."

"Reasonable" was all Rose mumbled out, although it was obvious she was very displeased by the thought. After all, she would be the one who would have to tell him of that decision, and she already knew he wouldn't take it well "I'll… tell him when I see him. Maybe in ten minutes or more."

"Good. It is best if he is not left alone for too long regardless" StarDust mused "Having someone to tether him to reality at all times would be best. For now, let us just allow him to digest what has happened."

"Can you believe it? How could they just say it like that! How could they all look at me like that?"

Yakko knew that talking to himself, very loudly might he add, was probably not going to make anyone worry about him any less, but damn it, he needed to vent! And although he'd been having… doubts about the voice as of late, he was still his dear friend who understood what he was going through more than anyone else. It had become a pain to talk to him only through thoughts as well, and Yakko was pissed off and stressed out enough that he didn't care enough to try and hide the voice's existence.

- They're just worried about you, Yakko… and for good reason. -

"I'm not some kind of pitiful puppy on the side of the road that needs to be coddled. I can fight. I can do things."

- Nobody said you couldn't, just that it's dangerous right now- -

"Which means that they're gonna leave me out and I'm just gonna have to stay trapped here, having to wait for them to return like some kind of neglected pet-"

- Stop, that is not how it is and you know it. -

Did he though? Did he know? Why should he have thought that now that they'd realized how disgustingly fragile he was that they wouldn't just keep him locked up like the precious little resource that he was? After all, anyone could just snatch him up and fuck up their plans, he needed to stay put like a good kid, he just needed to stay e-

- Yakko! Snap out of it! -

He literally slapped himself out of it.

He took short, shaky breaths as he stared at the hand that he'd slapped himself with, eyes wide, wondering what the fuck he'd just been thinking. He didn't know where those thoughts had come from; just like when he'd been talking with Nicolas, thoughts and feelings that didn't make any sense to him appeared at the forefront of his mind as if to torment him. He could only assume they were remnants of his past memories, but Christ did they have to hit him like a sledgehammer? They were just proving StarDust's point- that he couldn't be trusted on a mission with them. That he'd crash. That he'd only get himself hurt.

- You're okay… Deep breaths, remember? Just slow down and count to ten… That's it, just like that… -

Hearing the voice's soft tone guiding him through his breathing exercises made Yakko's frame slowly relax, gently guiding him down from the almost inevitable panic attack. It took them a few minutes, the voice calmly giving him instructions while Yakko breathed slowly and started counting stuff that he could see, touch, smell, and hear. While Yakko found the whole process annoying and embarrassing, he had to admit that it was effective, although he found himself all the more ashamed of himself by the time he'd calmed down.

He put his head in his hands, sighing "… I'm a mess."

- No, you're not. You just need some help. -

"Kind of funny hearing that from a literal voice in my head" Yakko snorted with no humor, smiling wryly "I guess Wakko and Dot are right; I get cuckoo when I'm off my meds."

- You know that's not what they said. -

"Isn't it, though?" he said quietly, allowing his body to fall onto the bed on his back. Staring at the ceiling emptily, he sighed again "They just said it in a nicer way. Everyone did."

- They don't think you're crazy, stop putting words in their mouths. I understand that you resent that you have to live like this but they're just trying to help you. -

Oh, Yakko knew. He knew that none of his family or his friends deserved his anger. He knew they'd never intentionally hurt him, that, at worst, they might have said things in a way that could be misunderstood easily by someone as sensitive about the issue as he was. Still… as always, he was his own worst enemy, and he could use anything they said and twist it until it fit the bill for the awful things he said to himself.

"… I just…" his voice was soft, his arms throwing themselves on top of his face. Even if there was no one there to see it, he didn't want to cry in the open. He hated crying "I just wish I weren't so… broken…"

- … You're not broken… -

The voice sounded just as upset as Yakko did, sighing gently as if he knew there wasn't much he could say to stop Yakko's self-hating tirade.

"Besides… how can I even go to a psychiatrist or a therapist when both Athena and whoever is tailing us is watching us like hawks? I don't even have proper identification papers" he sniffed and rubbed his arms against his eyes, trying his best to stop the small flow of tears before it started to show that he'd been crying "So I'll basically be stuck here until Athena gets dethroned and they catch this other group, which, who knows how long that's gonna take- and Wakko and Dot will be out there on their own, fighting God knows who and using guns and knives and I won't be there to protect them and-"

- You're getting yourself worked up again. Calm down. -

The voice said it gently, but firmly. Yakko obediently took deep breaths as the voice continued speaking.

- That's not going to happen. I'm sure Blondie and the rest will do their best to get you someone they can trust so you can get the pills sooner than later, and besides, they said they wanted to try low sedatives remember? That might keep you calm enough so that panic attacks won't trigger constantly. If they work, they'll hold you off until you can get the actual pills you need. -

"You really think it's going to be that easy…?" by now Yakko had pulled his arms away from his face, staring at the ceiling again "Nicolas made it sound like-"

- Nicolas doesn't know anything. -

Yakko was surprised by the voice's sudden low growl in his words, but he continued before Yakko could comment on it.

- If we're careful, we'll be fine. What we need to do is be discreet and hurry up the revolution as much as we can. I'm guessing that with the King on our side it will come faster. -

"I guess…" Yakko wasn't convinced. If the thoughts he'd been having were any indication… then the people in this other group might have been worse than just dangerous. They could have been downright murderous "But what makes you think the Milers will even let me participate? With or without any pills."

- Whether or not you participate isn't the problem. The only thing that matters is that we win. -

Well, he… wasn't wrong.

"… What about you though?" he asked slowly, worried the voice would only get more angry if he questioned him "You're the one most worried about people being after us. Shouldn't you be against me just walking around with the Milers?"

- … I mean. I figured you'd only get more upset if I tried to say that you should stay inside but if you're asking, then- -

"Actually, forget I said anything" Yakko said quickly, but the voice chuckled as if he'd been joking and he relaxed a little bit, a smile slowly appearing on his face "So you're... really okay with this?"

- Well... I'm not exactly happy about it, but the last thing I want is for you to feel trapped. If something happens I'll deal with it, okay? And... I'm sure the Milers will protect you too. -

That was rather generous of the voice, but instead of feeling suspicious, Yakko just felt grateful. He'd no doubt been trying to be mindful of Yakko's freakout about being stuck inside and pushing his own stress about Yakko being in possible danger to the side so that it wouldn't affect him as much. It was... kind of sweet.

"… Thanks. I know I can count on you."

Yakko spoke quietly, feeling a lot calmer than before, and the voice made a soft sound of happiness, like he was smiling. The conversation trailed off into comfortable silence, and Yakko stretched languidly, allowing his muscles to relax from how incredibly tense they'd been earlier.

Now that it was safe to say he was unlikely to freak himself back into a panic attack, he considered the situation earlier; on the one hand, he was angry at Dot for having outed him like that and at Wakko for supporting it. On the other hand though... he had to admit it was quite a wake-up call. While the pills the psychiatrist at the studio had given him had only really worked half the time (something that should have probably concerned him), his hallucinations had never been this bad. Before, the worst he would have would be days where he'd have to put up with some faint whispering in his ears, maybe seeing a shadow or two if he was extra anxious, but nothing like full-blown hallucinations where he'd see horrific visions of suicide and murder. Even his flashbacks had never been this bad. Yakko could only assume all of this was just the result of being back in WarnerStock in general; he had obviously been born in the country, and had lived the first nine years of his life somewhere in it... wherever that may have been. That, coupled with the lack of pills in his system had most likely caused his brain to revolt against him, and considering he'd refused to tell anyone but the voice about it, it only got steadily worse.

Then, something else occurred to him, something he wasn't sure what to think of. He was beginning to notice a pattern in his interactions when it came to his family and friends versus the voice.

When he'd had flashbacks or hallucinations, he'd relied on the voice. When he'd had fights with one of the Milers (usually Rose) or his siblings, he'd relied on the voice. When he'd had a fight with the voice... he'd relied on nobody. He'd kept it to himself, because he couldn't let the Milers know about the voice's existence unless he wanted to be seen as an even bigger lunatic, and... even if they knew the voice existed, he never wanted to saddle his siblings with his emotional baggage.

Aside from the issues with the voice though, why was it that he wasn't trying to open up to the others more? Why was he always relying on the voice instead of Rose? Don't get him wrong, the voice was his friend and (usually) very helpful, but it was weird that he was the only person Yakko could talk to about his issues, considering that, well… he was just a voice in Yakko's head. He had talked to Rose about his flashbacks, yes, but that was prompted by her. Every time he'd told his siblings anything of this nature, it'd also been prompted by them. He'd never personally sought anyone out to ask them for advice. He had only done that with the voice.

Was it because the voice was always with him? Was it because he knew more about him than anyone else? Because he took Yakko's issues almost personally?

... Because it felt like everything that happened to Yakko affected not just himself but the voice too?

Yakko didn't quite know, but he was wondering if he should try to be a bit more open with everyone else. Maybe, now that the topic had been brought to light… maybe he should try to tell Rose about his hallucinations. She wouldn't understand, seeing as hallucinations were very different from flashbacks, but she would undoubtedly do her best to help, and would relay the necessary information to StarDust, who would probably be the one to go with him to get his medication.

The mere thought of medication made him groan; that was going to be so awkward. He'd loathed his psychiatrist back at the lot with a passion, mostly because she'd told him the voice was just an aspect of his imagination and even made a point to make fun of him for it. He was fairly certain the studio had fired her a while ago, but the point was that he was not looking forward to having another nightmare session with a new psychiatrist... which would definitely be needed for him to get his necessary medicine prescribed.

… He wondered if Rose could be persuaded to accompany him instead. Immediately after that thought, he wondered when they'd gotten so close that he would think that he wanted her to do that, but, well... they were friends, weren't they?

Friends...

There was a soft knocking on the door as he thought, and he slowly moved himself to sit up, staring at the locked door. Any of the people at the base could be the one knocking, but most likely it was-

"… Yakko…?"

Rose's soft, careful voice called his name through the barrier between them, making Yakko slowly stand up from his bed and move toward the door. Yakko had fully expected her to come see him, just not so soon… and it sounded like she was just as unsure about this meeting as he was, if her wobbly voice was any indication.

"You, um… You doing okay? I know you wanted to be alone, but I'm worried and…" she sighed "I stayed away for as long as I could, but I can't leave you believing we think those things about you…"

She shut up when the sound of the door unlocking rang between them, as if shocked that he was letting her in. Then, she slowly opened the door, peering in. Yakko himself stared as she walked inside with caution, giving her a tired smile.

"… It's fine" he told her as she looked at him with puppy eyes, sighing softly as he moved to walk back to his bed "I don't really think you do, I just… It's hard to accept."

As he sat down on his bed, feeling drained, Rose followed him slowly, sitting on her own bed as if she didn't think he wanted her anywhere near him. The thought made him sad, but he was also glad that she cared about his boundaries to this degree.

"… I get that" she replied softly, looking at him with sadness in her eyes "I hate that you've had those awful experiences, but we're not like that. We don't think you're crazy or-"

"I know. It's okay" he interrupted her gently, giving her another small, tired smile. He didn't really want to hear the speech again "I'm sorry for getting irrationally angry earlier, I just… really don't like talking about it."

At his apology, Rose's demeanor slowly changed, her shoulders slightly relaxing from their tense stance and her smile becoming more genuine. When she let out a soft relieved breath, calmly sitting down on her mattress, his forced smile slipped off his face, replaced by a soft look.

"… I'm okay" he finally said, gently, genuinely. Though it was still small, his smile became real, and she returned it "Thank you for worrying about me."

"I'm glad you're okay. I uh… thought about why you would think we might react like that and…" Rose deflated a bit as she said it, playing with her fingers "I guess the whole 'joke' we- well, more like I, made of Elias imagining William made you weary, huh..."

Yakko was surprised she even remembered that, but she kept talking before he could say anything.

"I was trying to be ironic because I have an illness too, but I definitely wouldn't have said those things if I knew about you... I'm really sorry…" she said softly, looking at him with genuine dejection "It wasn't my place to say something like that."

Yakko was, frankly, shocked at the apology. When they'd talked about how they both had PTSD, he had imagined that Rose was just trying to find humor in things that were similar to her illness to make herself feel better about it. It wasn't exactly weird that she'd done it, after all, he was no stranger to calling himself crazy as a joke to feel better about his situation; he'd even gone along with Rose's joke when the Milers had gotten back from seeing the king. Sure, her joke hadn't been about her illness particularly, but he knew she hadn't meant any harm by it.

He was sure not everyone took it the way he did; there were some that treated the word "crazy" as a taboo and wouldn't touch it with a fifty-foot pole, and that was fine. But him? Personally, he embraced the word so long as it was himself who used it or people who could understand what he was going through. It was others calling him that, others who used the word as a way to call him strange and to express fear of him that hurt him.

"Woah, you've been mulling over that one for a while, haven't you?" he asked, his voice gaining some humor "It wasn't that, really. I'll admit, at the time it made me a bit uneasy, but when you told me about your flashbacks I understood you only meant it ironically."

"It wasn't anything any of you did" he went to explain, looking tiredly at the distance, smile still on his face "It was just… old stuff coming back to haunt me."

"Still..." she frowned, apparently still upset at herself "It was mean-spirited of me. Just because I have PTSD doesn't give me a right to make fun of your schizophrenia."

"But you didn't even know I had a problem at the time. You didn't even direct your joke at me."

"It was still insensitive. I'll be sure to be less of a dick in the future."

- … Blondie is winning more brownie points. She's at two now. -

Yakko was conflicted whether he should be persistent about how Rose wasn't at fault or to laugh at the voice's obvious attempt to lighten up the situation. He decided on the later after a moment.

- ... Oh? She's not in the negatives anymore? -

- This won her like four points, so she's in the positives... For now. -

Shaking his head with a smile, Yakko decided to let Rose win for now "Alright, alright. I'll accept your apology... But only if you'll accept mine."

One of her brow raised "Really? Just like that?"

"Just like that" his smile became tentatively playful "Unless you'd rather I add that you have to buy me nachos again to the deal?"

It took her a moment to take in his change in demeanor from sad to playful, but once it sank in, the smile slowly reappeared on her face. She shook her head to mirror his, hers also in an exasperated manner "You know, you drive a hard bargain... but I guess it's a deal. There'll be a month's worth of nachos waiting for you soon enough."

He laughed as she sighed dramatically, letting herself fall back-first onto her bed. They were in a comfortable silence for a bit, but after a few more seconds, Rose sent him a relieved smile, joking tone gone "... But all joking aside... if you say you're okay, then that's good enough for me."

- ... -

- Damn it, she's up to four points now. -

"Good" he replied, trying not to smile too hard at the voice's begrudging remark "Same here, Rose."

Rose smiled back, repeating his words, as if reinforcing them "Good."

They descended into a comfortable silence once more, both of them laying on their respective beds. However, their heart-to-heart moment was interrupted by a loud yelp coming from what Yakko could only assume to be the kitchen, since he heard Marilyn frustratedly swearing at the stove a moment later. And as StarDust yelled back at her to watch her language, Rose sighed and sat up with a face of frustration.

"I swear, without me they'd have died of hunger ages ago" she mumbled, pouting "Nobody even appreciates my food. 'Bland' my ass."

Yakko couldn't help but laugh at that, sitting up as well "You just need to learn to use spices. I can teach you sometime if you want."

Rose's eyes shone as she turns to him, grin wide "Really?"

"Really" he chuckled, and after a moment of thought, continued "... I can teach you right now, in fact. I mean, someone has to cook dinner, right?"

Rose's expression slowly became one of worry.

"Now?" she looked at the door, no doubt remembering how he'd literally locked himself in the room only a few hours before "But..."

"Look, this is just how I work" he said as he stood up, only slightly forcing himself to chill out "I kinda needed to explode, but I'm okay now. It's not like I can't cook."

- ... You know, you should probably rest- -

"Heck, I'm in the mood for some pizza! Aren't you?"

The voice grumbled something about Yakko 'pushing himself too hard again' in the background, and Rose looked at him with worry.

"I... Are you sure?" her voice was soft as she stood up and situated herself in front of him, a barrier between him and the door "You've had a long day. Wouldn't you rather let me do the cooking? It's not like it's hard..."

"I can handle it" he replied, becoming a little agitated. If he was going to prove that he wasn't some kind of delicate piece of glass that couldn't do anything, this was his chance "You said it yourself, didn't you? It's not like it's hard."

"Still-"

"Rose" he gulped gently, avoiding her eyes "... Please. I need something to distract me."

He knew he must have looked mighty pathetic as he stared down at the floor, his hands shaking a bit, but he couldn't care. He couldn't care because he needed to do something. He couldn't be seen as someone incapable... and he didn't want to be left alone with his thoughts, even if he'd locked himself in the room in the first place.

As he thought that, he could feel the voice's reaction to the stray thought. A sad, melancholic sigh was all he offered as a response. But when Yakko closed his eyes for just a moment... he felt arms around him, hugging him. They weren't really there, but somehow, they were still real.

The hug made him relax a little.

Rose seemed to think about his words for a moment, clearly not liking the thought of making him work in the state he was in at all. He could still feel her piercing, worried eyes on him even after she'd sighed and appeared to give up.

"Alright" her mouth was in a thin line when he looked up at her again, but she was giving him a soft look "Just... Don't work yourself too hard, okay?"

It was obvious from the way her hand twitched at her side that she wanted to scoot closer and ruffle his hair, but was restraining herself from doing so. Was she still hurt about how he'd rejected her earlier...?

Feeling every bit like a jerk, he slowly walked closer to her until they were only a breath apart, her cheeks a little rosy and her expression surprised. Then, he bit his inner lip for a moment before he slowly, gently, grabbed her hand in his and gave it a reassuring squeeze.

Rose's eyes seemed to glow with relief and understanding. His hand was squeezed back.

"I won't" he said gently as he slipped his hand away, going to the door slowly, trying not to ruin the moment. This only seemed to reinforce just how close they'd gotten.

He wondered if he should ask her to accompany him to the psychiatrist after all... It would certainly make the visit less stressful.

They spent the rest of the night cooking together, with Yakko showing Rose how to make different types of pizza and her writing it all down in a notebook with wide, shining eyes. It actually relaxed him a lot, and despite the fact that he couldn't bear to show his face at the dinner table, Rose passed on everyone's compliments about his food. The thought that they all enjoyed it enough to compliment it made him happy... even if he wished he could have been less of a jerk so that he could have eaten with everyone else instead of banishing himself to doing so alone in his room.

Still... the food that he and Rose had made together tasted like happiness, and he ate it with gusto. He couldn't wait to cook together with her again.

Warnings: Yakko has schizophrenia. While I did research on it, I most likely was not able to accurately portray it. Please forgive me for that ;v; He also calls himself many mean names such as 'nuts', 'crazy', 'a mess', 'fragile', 'cuckoo', 'broken', among other things. Wakko and Dot mention that people at the WB lot treated him unfairly because of this, and thus Yakko hid it from the group. Dot outs him to the Milers in this chapter and Yakko is very upset about it. Aside from that big one, Yakko also has a panic attack that the voice talks him down from.

As someone who is medicated for anxiety, take it from me: Your illness doesn't define you. You're not broken, or useless, or insane. You're hurt, and you need help, but that's nothing to be ashamed of. You're okay.

I hope you all have a nice day and a fantastic 2021 3 Take care of yourselves