Okay, this took forever to write, but I've been planning it for awhile and it needed to be perfect. It also ended up being longer than everything else. Hopefully that will make up for how long it took.
Side note: I love when you guys leave really specific reviews commenting on certain aspects of the story that you like. It's very encouraging. I also like when those comments include little things that you might like to see. Someone left a review last time about wanting to see Derek discuss his marriage with someone other than Addison. After reading, it seemed like a really good idea, so I decided to include a little segment about it. Hope that reviewer, and everyone enjoys.
...
"Addison calm down."
"After 15 years of you saying that, has it ever once been effective?"
"Well, no," Derek confessed, "but everything will be okay."
"Will it," she asked, desperately.
"I have no idea. That's just something people say."
"Out," she said, pointing towards the door.
Ignoring her, Derek walked to the chair where she was sitting and began massaging her shoulders. "It will all be okay."
"You don't know that, Derek."
"What's the worst that could happen?"
"Hmmm let me think," she said. "The food might not ever arrive, Nancy could just show up, or the worst possible scenario is that your mother could arrive first and question absolutely everything I've planned."
"Nancy isn't going to just show up," Derek said. "You told her that you would be picking her up from the airport."
Addison rolled her eyes and said, "yes, but she still might get there and insist on taking a cab. My point is that we don't know Derek."
"Okay, so let's say Nancy does actually take a cab. What is so bad about that?"
Addison looked at him like it was the dumbest question she had ever heard. "Because that means she suspects something, Derek."
Derek should have known better than to ask, but he did it anyways. Party Planning Addison was always Worst-Case Scenario Addison. Not to mention, his mother was coming, and let's just say that Carolyn did not exactly bring out Addison's best qualities. So, he practically welcomed a good ole Addison freak out by asking her what could go wrong.
"Plus," she added, "it might rain, so we can't even have the food outside like I planned."
"Which is totally fine. My mother would probably complain about how chilly it is anyways."
Addison snickered and said, "so instead she'll walk around the house and complain about how cold it is."
"She's warm blooded, and I can't help that."
"And neither can I, but somehow it will be my fault."
"Well, you are from Connecticut," Derek picked.
"Yes, I'm a cold hearted, blood sucking WASP."
Derek leaned around and kissed her cheek. "No, you are not," he insisted. "You have the biggest heart of anyone I know, and you are nothing like your family."
She looked at him in the mirror and smiled. She didn't exactly believe him, and she wasn't sure if he even believed himself, but at least he looked like he meant it. "Thank you," she mumbled, genuinely feeling grateful.
"Anytime. Now, I am going downstairs to call the restaurant about the food."
She nodded and said, "it should be here by now."
"That's why I'm going to call. You finish getting ready and work on taking some deep breaths."
"Thank you," she said, watching him walk through the door.
"Poor guy," she mumbled to herself. She was not an easy person to deal with and she knew it, but he was trying his best.
...
"How's um... you know, that situation," Mark whispered, pointing his finger upstairs.
Derek gave him a single head-shake and walked into the kitchen to find the number for the restaurant.
"Phew," Mark said. "This is going to be fun."
"You know his family stresses her out," Savvy whispered.
"Oh, I know," Mark said. "You should have seen her on the first Christmas visit."
"Shhhhh," Savvy hissed, "she could hear you."
Mark mouthed an apology as she continued. "Besides, I do remember. I was the one that had to hear her constantly agonizing over it before she even went. For weeks it's all I heard. I even remember the hours we spent packing her suitcase because she was afraid Mrs. Shepherd would hate her wardrobe."
"You're a strong woman, Savannah."
Savvy nodded and said, "at first I felt bad for her, but it did get to a point where I had to say that Mrs. Shepherd not liking her because of clothing said more about Mrs. Shepherd than anyone."
"Somehow I feel like that didn't help."
"Nope."
Mark laughed and said, "when she gets like this I just stay away. I let Derek handle it and then listen to him gripe when he needs an ear."
"He doesn't gripe about her, Mark."
Mark eyed Savvy from across the room, but she stood her ground. "Mark, he doesn't gripe about her."
"So, you're telling me that she doesn't gripe about him to you?"
The two of them sat in a silent standoff for a moment, Savvy trying her best not to reveal anything.
"Exactly," he replied.
Savvy let out a surrendering sigh and said, "well, she doesn't gripe about Derek when he's just being himself. Panicking about a party is just who Addie is."
"And working too much is just who Derek is."
"Wait, you know about that," Savvy asked.
"As I said, they both gripe about each other to the both of us, and we have to listen."
They were both silent for a moment but then Savvy couldn't take it anymore. "What has he said about the whole... working too much thing," she asked.
Mark shrugged and said, "probably what you would expect."
Savvy raised her eyebrows in response.
"Just that he has been busy with one particular patient and she doesn't understand."
"Well, I think it's a little more serious than that but-"
"But they're fine," Mark cut in. "They're Derek and Addison."
"That's true. Derek and Addison are always fine, even when they're not."
Savvy and Mark sat silent, pondering the conversation. Years ago, they used the phrase "they're Derek and Addison" all the time, and they genuinely meant it. Now, they sat across the room eyeing each other, afraid to admit the current Derek and Addison had not been feeling quite like the old Derek and Addison.
...
"And everything is on the way," she asked, for the third time.
"Yes," he responded without hesitation. "The man told me they left fifteen minutes ago, so they should be here any minute now."
Addison just nodded, taking in the information yet again. Derek had willingly given it every time she had asked. He knew it helped ease her mind to hear it over and over.
"Addison, Nancy still hasn't arrived at the airport, Kathleen and Liz are twenty minutes away, and my mother will be arriving shortly after them."
"I know," she said, taking in all of his reminders. "I just hope they hurry so I can leave soon. I don't want to keep Nancy waiting."
"Addison, everything is going to be per-"
"STOP," Addison yelled. "You know better than to use that word."
He held up his hand apologetically and said, "I am just trying to be positive."
"You know better than to use that word about a party, Derek. No party ever goes perfectly."
"Well, I hope that this one does."
She rolled her eyes and said, "we all do, but that just isn't how things work."
"Hey," he said, "that Easter party we threw here was perfect."
"Seriously, Derek," she asked. "You really don't remember the part where your niece fell into the freezing cold pool while holding all of the dye for the Easter eggs?"
He couldn't help but let out a laugh and said, "I mean, really what were the odds that of all people to fall in the water, the one holding the dye did it."
"And all of the packets were open," Mark yelled from the other room.
"Exactly," Addison said. "No party is perfect."
"Thanksgiving at our place," he suggested, very sure of himself.
"Derek Christopher Shepherd, I know good and damn well you are not talking about the hotdog Thanksgiving."
Derek felt his eyes widen and he gulped. That suggestion was a big mistake and even he was not sure why he thought bringing it up was a good idea. He just stared at her, hoping she would let it go, and then Mark walked in, giving Derek a feeling of relief. Or at least a feeling of slightly less tension in the room.
"I had to be here for this one," Mark poked. "I never get tired of hearing her yell about the glorious hotdog Thanksgiving.
Derek glared at him and said, "not that Thanksgiving. I mean the one that was just the two of us. Remember? No one was there, not even Mark, thankfully," and he shot Mark another dirty look.
"We all know you were talking about the hotdog Thanksgiving, Derek. Give it a rest."
"Both of you shut up," Addison groaned. "If I hear one more person mention hotdogs, I am going to scream."
"What about salmonella? Can I say that word because I hear it goes hand in hand with that Thanksgiving," Mark asked.
"Dear god," Derek groaned, "you don't know when to stop do you?"
"Not really," Mark said, "but maybe when your sister gets here we should ask her about whether or not salmonella is okay to discuss since she's the one that got it."
"OUT," Addison yelled, "BOTH OF YOU OUT."
They marched towards the door without hesitation and stepped out onto the patio, eager to escape her wrath.
"You don't know when to shut up."
"Oh, come on, Derek. I was just picking. Addie knows that."
"No, Mark. She doesn't know anything right now except the eta of every member of my family, how many servings of food we ordered, and-"
"And fifty other boring party details that no one cares about," Mark finished.
"It matters to her," Derek said, suddenly feeling defensive. "She likes things to be perfect. That's just how she is."
"Fine," Mark groaned. "I'll cool it."
"Thank you," Derek mumbled.
"Seems like you guys need all the help you can get anyways," Mark mumbled under his breath.
Derek jerked his head over to Mark quickly. "What is that supposed to mean," he asked.
Mark shrugged and said, "just seems like things have been…. tense."
Derek turned to face the ocean and kept his back to Mark. There was only one thing that could make the tension with Addison worse and it was Mark calling him out for it.
"You guys fight. I know that, but this is just odd, Derek."
"It's nothing," Derek lied.
"You're lying."
"No, I'm not." (He was)
"Yes, you are," Mark insisted. "Do you want to know how I know?"
"I'm sure you're going to tell me anyways," Derek mumbled.
"I know because you haven't talked to me about it. You tell me when you guys bicker, and you tell me when you have disagreements, but this…you haven't told me anything. That's how I know you're lying."
"Fine," Derek said. "How about it's none of your business? That isn't a lie."
Derek stared out at the water, feeling Mark's eyes on him. He had always told Mark everything, so even he was not sure why this conversation was difficult.
"Derek, even if you don't want to tell me, I'm on your side," Mark said.
"That's the thing, Mark," Derek yelled, "there are no sides! There is just a marriage, and a marriage isn't about sides! It's about having one life together, and that is not something I would ever expect someone like you to understand."
Derek quickly turned back towards the water hoping that it would cool his temper. He watched the waves crash against the shore and one by one they brought him back to reality. He had just yelled at his best friend who was only trying to help. Granted, Mark could be a pain in the ass. Well, if Derek was being completely honest, Mark was almost always a pain in the ass, but he was family. Mark had always been there, even before Derek met Addison. Mark was actually the one that encouraged Derek to ask her out. Now he was doing what he did best, joke his way through a serious conversation and Derek yelled at him.
God, I didn't just yell. I implied that he was incapable of commitment.
"Mark," Derek said, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that."
Derek stood patiently for a few seconds waiting for a response but heard nothing, so he continued.
"Look, things really have been difficult, and I know you are trying to help, so thanks."
Again, Mark said nothing, causing Derek to turn around only to find that he was on the deck alone. The door was wide open, and Mark was nowhere to be found.
…
"Finally," Addison mumbled as he walked back into the kitchen. "The food just got here. Can you and Mark go help bring it in?"
"Mark probably isn't in the mood to help me with anything," Derek mumbled just quiet enough that Addison couldn't understand him.
"What?"
Derek simply shook his head and headed towards the front door. When he looked through the window he saw Mark coming up the front steps with a box in his hands.
"Here," Derek offered, opening the door for Mark and two of the delivery men.
Mark walked right by him and said nothing.
"You guys can take everything in there," Derek directed as they all walked by. "She will tell you where to put it."
Derek followed them into the kitchen where he was not surprised to find Addison pointing and giving instructions. She was always in control, no matter the situation. He glanced over at Mark who was still not looking at him. Great, now he's Mr. Passive Aggressive.
"Honey, can you and Mark go help the girls? I think I heard them pull up."
"This early," Derek asked.
"It's better than late, Derek."
He nodded and walked back through the kitchen behind Mark.
"Hey," he called, watching Mark's back as they passed through the living room. "Hey, Mark wait."
"So, you can yell at me again," Mark jabbed, without turning around.
"You walked off before I was able to-"
"Able to what," Mark interrupted. "I can only imagine the insults that were going to follow the one about me being a whore."
"I didn't call you-"
"Yes, Derek. Yes, you did. Maybe not in those exact words, but you said it. But hey, you've always thought it, so I guess it's time you finally let it all out."
"It isn't a secret you don't like commitment, Mark."
Mark laughed and said, "you know what. Maybe you should put more energy into worrying about your own romantic commitments because god knows you and Addie need it."
Derek's eyes widened but he was too stunned to reply. Mark joked, and he picked, but this was different. His tone was different, and the context was different.
"What," Mark asked. "Have I said too much or hurt your feelings? God, poor sensitive Derek."
"Hey, losers," a voice called the front door.
They both looked up and saw Kathleen and Liz walking through the front door.
"Wow, what a welcome this is," Liz mumbled to Kathleen.
"Are you fighting," Kathleen asked.
"Ah, just like the old days," Liz chimed.
Derek and Mark just looked at each other unsure of what to say. "No, no," Derek assured.
"Right, just messing around," Mark agreed.
Liz sat both of her bags down and said, "well, thanks for the help."
"Right," Kathleen agreed, lifting her bags. "Don't worry. We can get everything ourselves."
Derek rolled his eyes and sighed. Only two sisters and they had only been there for two minutes, but he was already being harassed by both of them.
Liz and Kathleen walked past the boys and headed towards the kitchen. Liz called Addison's name as they walked down the hallway.
"In here," she yelled back, "but I am about to leave."
They both disappeared around the corner and left Mark and Derek in the living room to awkwardly stare at each other.
"I should probably go," Derek mumbled, following behind them.
When Derek walked into the kitchen Addison and his sisters were in the middle of a group hug.
"Ugh," Liz groaned, "we really need to get together more."
"As if these two surgical geniuses have the time for us," Kathleen said, winking at Derek.
Addison gave the girls one more squeeze and said, "well, I'm glad you guys got here early, but I need to go pick up Nancy."
"Do you want me to ride with you," Derek asked Addison.
She shook her head quickly and said, "no, no. I need you here to hold down the fort. Keep everything together and I will be back in less than an hour."
Derek smiled at her, feeling slightly lucky that she trusted him holding down the fort. Relinquishing responsibility was not ever an easy task for her. Especially when it came to party plans.
"Okay, we will be watching so we can yell when you come in."
Addison moved in to give him a quick kiss and said, "less than an hour. Be ready."
"We've got it," Liz said.
"Mark, no funny business," Addison picked as she walked past him and towards the front door.
…
"OVER HERE," Addison yelled, waving her hands.
Nancy, locked eyes with her and headed in that direction.
"If I knew you were bringing so much I-"
"Don't worry," Nancy insisted. "I always overpack. Something you understand."
They shared and laugh and hugged. Nancy strained her neck to look around Addison and inside of the car.
"He's at the house," Addison answered before Nancy could even ask. "Working on some charts. You know Derek."
Nancy nodded and rolled her eyes. "When you said a quiet weekend I didn't know you meant that quiet."
"Oh, no no. He's here at the beach house."
"Ah, I thought... well, I guess it wouldn't really be out of character for Derek to skip his sister's birthday for work."
"Well, he's here. Happy birthday by the way."
"Thanks, Addie. This is really what I needed. A nice quiet weekend away from the kids. Well, my husband too."
Addison smiled and said, "birthdays are supposed to be about self care."
"God, at my age this is certainly not proving to be true."
"Well, lets get this relaxing weekend underway," Addison said, walking around to the driver side.
Addison sat quietly in the driver's seat listening to Nancy ramble about work and kids. She nodded every few seconds to make it seem like she was listening, but really she was running through every single direction she had given Derek. As far as she knew, everything was in place. The food was ready, there was plenty of alcohol, the beds were all made for their guests, and the cars were parked far enough down the street that even Nancy wouldn't notice. So far everything was per-
No, Addison. Don't even think that word. No party is perfect. Something always goes wrong.
"Okay, here we are," Addison said, pulling into driveway.
"Do I get to pick what we have for dinner," Nancy asked, pushing her door open. "I love that little Italian place down the road."
Addison couldn't help but smile. "I don't see why not."
They made their way towards the front door and Addison opened it, letting Nancy go inside first.
"SURPRISE," everyone yelled.
Nancy's eyes widened and her face lit up.
"YOU GUYS," she yelled.
Mark was the first to walk up and give her a bear hug. "Happy birthday, Nancy pants."
"Thanks, loser," she teased.
One by one everyone walked up and exchanged hugs.
"SAVVY," Nancy squealed. "It's been-"
"No," Savvy insisted. "Lets not date ourselves too much."
Nancy nodded in agreement and hugged her.
Addison glanced around the room at all of the smiling faces, feeling quite proud of herself for pulling this off. Nancy was actually surprised and all of the siblings, minus Amelia who was studying, had made it. This was actually going to be a good birthday weekend. Then suddenly Addison felt her smile fade when she realized that one Shepherd was missing.
"Where's Derek," she mumbled to Savvy through a forced grin.
Savvy stood next to her silently as they both smiled and watched the Shepherd siblings (in attendance) hug.
"Savvy," Addison hissed. "Where is Derek?"
"I'm so sorry Addie. He had a work emergency and he left."
"What," Addison asked. "How did he even-"
"He took Mark's car. I'm so sorry."
Well, there it was. The moment Addison had been waiting for. No party was ever perfect.
...
"I'm so sorry, Addie. I really am. Please call me back."
Derek hung up the phone and threw it into the passenger. This was not how the weekend was supposed to go. Especially after everything that happened on their anniversary. He picked up the phone again and dialed the number he knew by heart. After two rings she sent him to voicemail for the third time.
"Addison please answer me. I had to leave. It was my patient. It was Chris. He- he had a seizure. He's been my patient for months and I- I'm sorry."
Derek blinked back tears and increased his speed. It had been almost 5 hours since he had left the party and not a word from Addison. He had called her three times, sent five text messages, and all of them were unanswered. Derek had even resorted to calling Mark who also did not answer. To he fair, he had not expected him to. They still had not spoken since their fight earlier and to make things worse, Derek stole Mark's car. Mark wouldn't exactly be needing it, but still. He stole the car.
His phone buzzed in the seat next to him and his heart fluttered.
"Addie," he yelled into the phone. "Addie, I'm so-"
"Addie? No. Derek it's me."
"Chief," Derek sighed. "Sorry I'm expecting a call from-"
"Addison," the Chief answered. "I'm sure. Seeing as how you were supposed to be spending the weekend away, but I just found out that you booked the OR for an emergency surgery."
"It was Chris. He-" Derek stopped and took a breath.
"He what?"
"He's gone," Derek said. "By the time I got there, it was too late. He was gone."
"This is your miracle patient that you spend so much time with?"
Derek nodded and then realized no one could see him.
"I'm sorry Derek. It's never easy losing patients. Especially ones you really care-"
"Listen Chief," Derek said, cutting him off. "I should probably go. Addie might call back."
"Okay, well don't speed too much trying to get home."
"I wont," Derek lied.
He hung up the phone and dialed Addison again. This time it rang until the voicemail finally picked up.
"I'm on the way. I'm about an hour out, but I'm coming. I promise I am going to make this up to you, Addie. Please call me back. I love you."
Four voicemails. He felt absolutely insane. Like a stupid high school boy overreacting to his girlfriend being mad. But he knew this behavior was warranted. Addison was furious. Honestly furious wasn't even the word. She was probably devastated at first, but she had to smile her way through a Shepherd party without him. That could only lead to anger. She would be a perfect mix of furious and heartbroken.
Forty-five more miles.
He decided to call her again, but only got her voicemail. This time he decided he wouldn't leave a message. There wasn't much more he could say anyways. He focused on the black road in front of him and tried to rehearse his in person apology.
"I know there's no excuse, but Chris has been my patient-" No.
"I told you how close I was with Chris. I don"t know why, but sometimes patients-" Nope.
Twenty-five more miles.
"The truth is that-" What is the truth?
Derek picked up his phone and decided to call one more time before he arrived. His fingers desperately dialed as he glanced from the phone to the road. Before he even put the phone to his ear he heard the voicemail. She had turned her phone off. There went any hope that maybe she had not seen his messages. She saw them, ignored them, and turned her phone off so she wouldn't have to deal with it anymore. Her and Mark were both probably bad mouthing him in the kitchen right now.
"Addison," Derek pleaded into his phone. "I know there is absolutely no excuse for this, so I won't bother you with one. I just want you to know how sorry I am. I promise you that this will not ever happen again. I love you."
He pressed harder on the gas pedal and sped on. This was definitely the fastest he had ever made the drive from Manhattan to the Hamptons, yet somehow it had seemed like the longest. He kept picturing how Addison's face must have looked when everyone told her that he was gone. He imagined she looked something like she had the other night in their kitchen when he had initially turned down cooking for their anniversary. Her shoulders probably hung to her ankles in that defeated way that only he could make her feel.
Go faster. You're only a few minutes away.
The last voicemail he had left Addison was replaying in his head. He meant it. This kind of thing would not ever happen again because it couldn't, not if he wanted his marriage to work. Mark was right earlier about things being different. Things had certainly been different and Derek was determined to change that for good. He certainly was not ready to let go of his marriage. He had been distant lately, but that wasn't because his feelings for Addison had dwindled. He just had to prove that to her. He had to prove that through all of this she was what he wanted and he wanted her enough to never let anything like this happen again.
Okay here we go.
Derek turned town the road where there house was and into the driveway. Almost all of the lights were off and his mom's car was gone. Which was odd because she was supposed to be staying there for the weekend.
He quietly unlocked the door and walked into the living room. Remnants of what appeared to be a good party were scattered around. There were wine glasses on the coffee table. One of which was sitting on a coaster, meaning it had to have been Addison's, and there was a shot glass next to it. That either meant she did end up having a good time or she drank her sorrows away. Either way Derek still felt a pain in his chest. He heard something up stairs that caught his attention.
"Addison," he called as he made his way up the staircase.
As he stepped onto the second floor he heard voices that he couldn't quite make out, but they were coming from down the hall.
He started to call Addison's name again but stopped when he heard a voice. Mark's voice.
"Mark," he called quietly, out of fear that he might wake drunken house guests.
He walked towards the end of the hallway where Mark's room was and knocked on the door one quick time before opening it.
"Hey man have you seen-"
Derek's voice disappeared at what he saw in front of him. Tangled in a mess of sheets was Mark's entire naked backside and two bare legs wrapped around him.
...
I know this is an awful place to stop but please forgive me
Also, I will be on vacation for a week, so I won't be updating for a little bit. Again, please forgive me.
You know the drill. If you enjoyed, please let me know. Or if you want to yell at me, please unleash your anger in the review section.
For everyone celebrating, I hope you have a great socially distanced Thanksgiving. xxx