Chapter 18

With her sisters and mother in tow Michaela entered a string of boutiques in the centre square. She had been shopping for a few hours with nothing to show for it. Getting a little discouraged Michaela pulled out her cell phone and sat on the bench. "It's almost eight o'clock," she sighed. "The shops close at nine and I haven't found anything. And I really don't have anything at home to put together."

"Is it really that big of a deal that you go?" Elizabeth asked. "It was last minute on his part."

"I want to go."

"Of course she wants to go," Maureen spoke up. "Come on," she pulled Michaela's arm. "There's still one last store, come on. It's White House Black Market, their known for their little black dresses. I'm sure you'll find something in there."

"You never said what you were looking for," Rebecca asked. "Is it casual or formal?"

"I'm thinking snappy-casual. I don't really know."

Walking into the store Michaela noticed that everything was either black or white. Dresses hung from skinny wooden hangers, strappy shoes lined the walls and silver jewelry sparked from their glass encasements. Within a few seconds she saw four dresses that she wanted to try on. Never having the chance to indulge in clothes when she was with Jack, Michaela was now making her own money and she could spend it on whatever she wished.

"I think we hit the jackpot," Maureen smiled looking at her sisters' face.

"Oh Michaela," Elizabeth pulled a white dress from the fixture with a black satin ribbon framing the waist, "You would look gorgeous in this."

Looking at her mother Michaela couldn't help but smile; this was the first time all night she paid any interest in her choosing an outfit. Taking the dress from her, Michaela held it before her and looked in the mirror. "It's lovely."

"Go try it on," Elizabeth held her shoulders. "I would like to see it."

"Alright," Michaela said. Grabbing a few more dresses in her size as she headed to the dressing room.

"That was a very nice thing you did," Rebecca whispered in her mother's ear. "Michaela was worried that you wouldn't enjoy our time here tonight. She doesn't think you approve of her and Sully."

"I…" Elizabeth thought for her words, "I feel that Michaela is a grown enough woman to make her own choices and if she wants to go to dinner and get closer to Sully there's nothing I can do about that. I just have comfort in knowing that she's being looked after when your father and I can't be here."

"And I think you're a romantic at heart," Maureen broke in holding a pair of black heels. "Here Michaela," she slung them over the door. "Try these on with it."

"I think that I almost lost my daughter and I don't want that to happen again and this is the first time that I've seen her truly happy and I don't want that to go away."

Rebecca gave Elizabeth's hand a little squeeze. "And I think you should tell her that."

Stepping out of her dressing room Michaela fumbled a bit in her heels before standing in the mirror.

"Oh Michaela it's gorgeous!" Maureen turned her around. "Look how that ribbon just clinches your waist. God, I wish I had your figure!"

"And those shoes are perfect," Rebecca commented. "Mother, what do you think?"

Smiling, Michaela turned to her mother. "Do…do you like it?"

Shaking her head Elizabeth took Michaela's hand. "You look beautiful. I…I think Sully will love it."

"You think so? It doesn't look too young for me, with the bow and all?"

"Of course not," Elizabeth turned her in the mirror. "And I think I know the perfect thing to go with it. I'll be right back."

Watching her mother Rebecca turned to Michaela. "I think she's coming around, which is not something she does easily might I add."

"I think she's feeling nostalgic," Maureen nodded. "Like we're back in high school and she's helping us pick out our prom dresses."

"You don't think she's happy for me?"

"No, I do! I do. I just think that mother likes to shop no matter the reason. But she has changed her outlook about you two. I think she realizes that you're going to do what you're going to do because that's how you always been."

"But she's not happy about it."

"She'll come around in time. She always has."

"Here," Elizabeth turned Michaela back around. "I saw this when we walked in." Draping a diamond necklace around Michaela neck, Elizabeth smiled. "It's perfect."

"Oh, mother no," Michaela clasped the diamond. "It's too much."

"Oh hush," Elizabeth brushed her off. "It looks perfect with the dress and you'll wear it. I already had her ring it up along with the dress and shoes."

"Mother, she smiled.

"Now hurry up and get changed the men are probably wondering where we are." Walking back up to the front of the store Elizabeth started talking with the sales lady.

"We'll I'd say she came around" Rebecca giggled.

"I…I want a diamond necklace too," Maureen pouted.

Deciding to have a girl's night, Robert and John went back to the hotel, leaving Maureen and Rebecca to stay with Michaela. They all got into their pajamas and jumped into Michaela bed with a large bowl of popcorn. "Where's mother?" Michaela looked around.

"She decided to go to bed," Rebecca said. "I think she just wanted us to have our sisterly bonding time."

"So what are we going to watch?" Maureen flipped through Michaela's DVD's. "Notebook, Steel Magnolias, or Walk the Line. God, Michaela they're all sappy love stories."

"Hey," she pulled down her hair. "You said pick out whatever I wanted. It's not my fault you didn't go in."

"Fine," she got up placing the DVD into the player. "I haven't seen Steel Magnolias in awhile."

Looking up at her dress hanging from her closet door Michaela turned to her sisters. "Are you sure the dress looked okay? I should have tried more on."

It looked stunning," Rebecca squeezed her hand. "I promise."

"Yeah, just make sure you wear a good pushup bra," Maureen started to fumble though Michaela drawer. "You have good cleavage."

"Maureen!" Michaela threw a pillow at her sister.

"Oh come on!" she plopped down next to her. "Dish, how is he? Because if it's half as good as he looks! Besides I saw the way he was looking at you when we were walking into the house tonight. I could see his eyes on you from across the lawn! He was totally undressing you."

"What are you talking about?" she was clueless.

"Michaela please! The sex! And don't even try to act coy. Mother told me she found you two in bed together."

Michaela's face grew about 10 shades of red. "We…we didn't do anything. We just went to sleep."

"Liar!" Maureen poked her in the ribs. "Liar, liar!"

"Stop! Maureen! I'm serious!"

Looking into her sisters eyes she could tell she was telling the truth. "Oh my god! You're for real!" she shook her head. "Only my sister Michaela Quinn would go to bed with a sexy man like Sully and just sleep! I can't believe you!"

"Don't listen to her," Rebecca counseled.

"What about the other times?" she asked. "Come on we won't tell."

"Sully and I haven't been...intimate. We only recently began dating, and we want to take things slow, like I said. I'm not ready for that...kind of relationship."

"Do you want to be at that level with Sully?" Rebecca asked.

"Of course she does!" Maureen grinned. "Michaela you have this sexy hunky man living next door that is crazy about you! Anyone can see that! Sure, it's fine to take things slow at first, but come on, do you know how much fun you could have with that!"

"Maureen!" Michaela covered her blushing face with her hands.

"Michaela I get that you want to take things slow, I do. After everything with Jack, I understand. I just don't want to see you holding back from love because you're afraid it might happen again. I see the way you look at him and how he looks at you. It's your time to be happy now. You deserve it."

"You don't think I'm jumping into things?" she turned to Rebecca. "Do you think I'm latching onto Sully because he's here and being nice to me? I've gone without some of these things for so long now, I'm afraid that's what I'm attracted to."

"Michaela I can't answer that," she frowned. "Only you know how you feel. But there is nothing wrong with going to the next level with Sully. The closer you become the more you'll know. You can't make yourself love someone."

"Yeah, and you'll get some good sex out of it."

"Maureen!" Michaela spat. "Is that all you think about?"

"I guess it's just my hormones," she stoked her belly. "I become amorous at the strangest times."

Looking at her sisters tiny rounded belly she touched it. "What does it feel like?" she asked. "When it moves?"

Maureen looked at her sister and smiled. "Well I can't really feel anything yet, but when I was pregnant with Ethan, it was like, you know when you're nervous and your stomach kind of flips and flops around. I guess like that in a way. It's been awhile."

Rebecca and Maureen both noticed the faraway look in their sister's eyes. "Michaela you can still have children if you want," Rebecca took her hand. "Don't forget you're still young."

"I know," she wiped away a stray tear. "I've been thinking about my options lately."

"Your options?"

"I know it's a real possibility that I may never get married again. I know that. But I don't want to miss out on having a child. And as long as that child has one parent that loves it then…"

"Michaela what are you saying?" Maureen broke in.

"I…I don't know," she shook her head. "Never mind."

Rebecca turned to her, "Are you thinking about adopting?"

"I….I thought about it. But do you know how long it takes a single woman to get approved for adoption? It can be up to five years."

"Well what else were you thinking?"

"Nothing," she shook her head. "I don't know."

"Insemination?" Maureen guessed.

"I've thought about it," she looked down.

"I have an idea," Maureen smiled.

"What?" Michaela looked up.

"Why don't you get dressed or, or put on one of these," Maureen pulled out a pink negligee. "And grab a bottle of wine and head next door."

"Maureen!" Both Michaela and Rebecca squeaked at the same time. "You're just awful!" Rebecca couldn't help but giggle.

"I am not! Michaela why do you have these anyways?" She started to fumble through her drawers. "And look here's a black one! You don't buy black lingerie unless you want someone to see it!"

"Stop it!" Michaela jumped off the bed. "Give me those!"

Flinging the panties over her head Maureen continued to laugh. "I think we found her third option!"

"How old are you!' Michaela picked her panties up off the floor.

"I bet you he would!" Maureen nodded. "Go ask!"

"Oh yes of course," Michaela shoved her lingerie back into the drawer. "Sully will you please have sex with me so I can carry your baby? I'm sure he would stick around to hear the end of that."

"You never know till you ask!"

"Algh….shut up," Michaela plopped back down on the bed. "I'm trying to watch the movie."

Maureen pulled the covers over her and turned to Rebecca. "She so wants to do it."

"Is that an apple tree in the back yard?" Maureen asked looking thru the window over the sink.

"Yes," Josef said looking over his morning paper. "They're pretty good, your mom baked a pie with them the other day."

"I've just been craving apples," she rubbed her belly.

"Go get one. I'm sure Sully wouldn't mind."

"It's Sully's tree?"

"Mmm…" he didn't look up.

Smiling she opened the back door and walked outside. Edging on the skirts of Michaela's property she quickly cast a glanced at Sully's house and saw the back door open. "Oh what a lovely apple tree!" she said aloud. "I think I'll just take one of these!" Turning she saw someone out of the corner of her eye. Smiling she continued to pick apples from the tree.

"Well…well it seems like you Quinn women have a thing for apples," Sully smiled.

Turning around Maureen smiled. "What do you mean?"

"I met Michaela for the first time in this very spot, stealing my apples."

"Your apples?" she acted amazed. "I thought the tree was Michaela's."

"Nope, but that's okay you can have them."

"Well thank you," she smiled. "I'm Maureen."

"Michaela's sister," he nodded. "Older or younger?"

"Older," she grinned.

"Are… you enjoying your time here in Colorado Springs?"

"Well we've really only been here for a day," she laughed. "I've been to the shopping centre."

"Sounds like fun" he laughed. "Shopping."

"Well it paid off," she grinned. "We found the perfect dress for Michaela to wear tonight."

"Oh…well…that's good."

"If you haven't noticed my sisters pretty hot."

Sully couldn't help but laugh out loud. Rubbing the back of his neck his face grew a little red. "She's real pretty."

"Maureen?"

"Michaela!" Maureen turned around eyeing her sister. "Sully and I were just talking." She smiled touching his arm.

"Really," she eyed her skeptically. "What about?"

"Nothing really," she let go of his arm and walked past her going toward the house. "He just thinks you're incredibly hot."

Closing her eyes her face grew about as red as Sully's. "I'm sorry," she finally said. "Maureen can be entirely inappropriate at times."

"Well she didn't say anything I didn't already know," he moved in closer to her, filling the gap. "I already knew you were incredibly hot."

"Sully," she looked away clearly embarrassed.

"Hey come on," he wrapped his arm around her giving her a squeeze. "I think you're beautiful, is there anything wrong with that."

"I…I just…"

"I know," he smiled. "You're not used to hearing it.

Smiling she continued to look away. "Well, thank you."

Laughing he kissed her cheek. "I could just call you sexy cause you're that too."

"What time are you picking me up tonight?" she asked, changing the subject.

"How about six?" he asked. "Is that enough time for you to get ready and wow me with your new dress?"

"How do you…Maureen!" she rolled her eyes.

"You two look alike," he commented.

"Maureen and I look the most alike. Marjorie and Claudette and look alike with the red hair, and I suppose that Rebecca looks like mother."

"So are your parents going to let me take you away tonight?"

"I think they might permit it," she laughed. "I think you're growing on them."

"Good."

"We'll we're going out to breakfast so I better go."

"Okay," moving in closer he kissed her cheek. "I'll see you tonight."

"See you tonight."

Pulling his baseball hat over his eyes Jack walked into Penrose. Walking the halls of the now familiar hospital he made his way toward Michaela's office. He wondered if she was working that day. He wanted to lay low for a bit, and become familiar with Michaela's schedule before he made any moves. Exiting the elevator he walked down the hall noticing the framed pictures of the former chief of staffs and other important doctors. Stopping he noticed an empty frame. Looking closer he saw the name plate: Dr. Michaela Quinn M.D. Head Surgical Room Doctor.

"Well, well, seems as though we've already made a name for ourselves here. To bad you're not going to be able to stay."

Watching a few doctors enter into a pair of double doors Jack watched to make sure no one was watching him and quickly slipped through the door. Looking at the weekly surgery chart on the dry erase board he noticed Michaela was scheduled for surgery early Monday morning and Tuesday afternoon. Making a mental note he slipped back through the doors and continued to walk the halls.

"I can't get it to pin right!" Michaela grew frustrated throwing her bobby pins on top of her dressing table. "I hate my hair!"

"Oh, hush," Maureen scolded. "You have the best hair in the family. You don't know how times I wanted to come in and chop it all off in the middle of the night when we were children."

"You what!" Michaela turned, clasping onto the ends of her curled hair.

"Oh you were always brushing it, and curling it, and always had to have the best shampoo. It made me sick!"

"Well tell me how you really feel," she rolled her eyes.

"Stay still," she grabbed her head. "Let me pin the back." Deciding that Michaela's hair would look best pined up in the back with a few loose curls hanging about, Maureen took charge. "I think I really outdone myself this time," she smiled. "I always said I should have gone to cosmetology school."

Looking at her hair from all angles she smiled. "It looks lovely."

"It looks sexy!" She hit Michaela's shoulder. "Just what I was going for! Now put your dress on!"

Getting up Michaela pulled her dress from the hanger. Untying her robe she threw it on the bed.

"Please tell me you're not wearing that bra!" Maureen put her hands on her hips. "With those panties! Michaela they don't even match!"

"Maureen I…."

Moving over to her drawer she started pull undergarments from it. "I know I saw something in here the other night."

"Why does it matter? Nobody's looking at my bra."

"That's not the point," she said. "And besides how do you know. I thought you said you and Sully were going to some hotel."

"For dinner!"

"And what about afterwards," she smiled pulling out a pair of lacy black panties. "Wear these along with this bra. It has good push up."

Taking the undergarments from her sister, she looked at them for a moment. "Can I ask you a question?" she sat on the bed. "A serious question."

"Of course," she sat on the bed next to her. "What is it?"

"I don't know if you knew or not but….Jack was the only person that I've ever….been with."

"Really?" She was amazed, "You and David…never?"

"No," she shook her head.

"You've dated some other men after him."

"Jack was the only one."

"I had no idea. I mean, I thought you just wanted to be private about it. And I respected that, so I never asked."

"I was just…I was never a casual dater. I…I don't know the rules. What men…expect."

"Are you afraid to have sex with Sully," she asked bluntly.

"I…I'm afraid of my feelings sometimes. I just…he's just…he's the one that always kisses me first, or touches me first. And sometimes…sometimes I don't want to stop."

"Michaela there's nothing wrong with that. You like him. And you're dating…you're a couple, wouldn't you say?"

"Well, I suppose so. You don't think that it's promiscuous of me to…to sleep with him?"

"If your asking if you think I would think any less of you if you start sleeping with Sully the answer is no. Michaela this isn't the 1800s anymore. You can still have all your morals and values and be with the people you love." Looking at her sister Maureen could tell that Michaela was having an inner battle and she wished she could say the right thing to make her feel better, but this was something she could have to fight herself.

"I don't know what's wrong with me," her face turned red. "I'm just so attracted to him. I'm just so afraid he would lose respect for me if I were to sleep with him."

"Michaela from everything you told me about him and from what I heard. He doesn't seem like that kind of man. He cares about you. He went looking for you in the middle of the night, just to make sure you were safe and so he could tell mom and dad. I think he's falling in love with you."

"And that scares me so much."

"Why?"

"Because he's such a good man, and I've been with such a bad one. What if I'm too…too needy? Or I just can't function in a normal relationship. I've been on my own for so long now. Sully was right when he said I was living behind a wall. I'm scared to get close emotionally, and to me that such a big part of being together sexually." Tears started to form in Michaela's eyes but she felt the need to go on. "It's been years since I've felt anything for Jack. And when we…when we were together it didn't mean anything to me. I was so disgusted when he touched me, so I blocked everything out."

"That's understandable," she nodded. "But how do you feel when Sully touches you."

"I was nervous at first. I shied away from it. His touch was so different from Jacks."

"And now?" she probed.

"I can't believe I'm talking about this," she turned, suddenly recoiling back into herself.

"Michaela its okay," Maureen's heart went out to her. She couldn't believe all the feelings Michaela had within herself. "You need to talk about this. It may be four years late, but that's fine," she smiled.

Closing her eyes he took a deep breath. "Sometimes I just want to be with Sully no strings attached. And other times…I want a relationship; I want him to… love me." Letting the tears fall she looked into her sisters eyes. "I just want him to love me."

"Oh Michaela," she engulfed her in her arms. "That's natural sweetheart. It's natural to want to feel love without any expectations. If you want to become close with Sully then do it. But you shouldn't have sex with him just because you feel obligated to do it. You should do it because you want to."

"God, I do want to," she couldn't help but laugh despite herself. "But it doesn't have to be tonight or even tomorrow."

"No, it doesn't," she smiled.

"Thank you," Michaela hugged her.

"Come on," Maureen wiped away her own tears. "He's going to be here any minute." Handing Michaela her undergarments she winked, "Just in case."