"Rainbow Monkeys! Rainbow Monkeys! We Love You!"
Late at night the anthem that was synonymous with childhood itself blasted through the speakers of Sector V's TV room before cutting to the annoying commercials that typically came after cartoon theme songs.
Number 3 sat on the floor with a bowl of popcorn waiting for the new episode of the "Late Love, Laugh and Share Rainbow Monkey show". Truth be told, it probably should have been called the Very Early Love, Laugh and Share Rainbow Monkey Show. It was 12:38 A.M.
Usually Kuki Sanban did not stay up this late(she knew her stuffed friends needed their beauty sleep and they would have nightmares if she wasn't in the room with them) but tonight she just had to see the new episode.
For about a week now, the Rainbow Monkey Channel had been advertising a super-special episode that would premiere after all the grown-ups had gone to bed and it was the job of all the kids outside of the Rainbow Jungle to watch.
Kuki sat in front of the TV holding her favorite Rainbow Monkey close. He was a standard rainbow monkey, orange in color and sooo cute! He was also the bravest, most toughest rainbow monkey in the whole wide world. As she sat there in the dark waiting for the show to start, she ate a mouthful of popcorn and had a little talk with her stuffed companion.
"I know, silly. It's late and you want to get up early tomorrow and go wrestling with Sumo Smackdown Rainbow Monkey, but this show's supposed to be really important,so just shush and I promise you can sleep in tomorrow and do whatever you want when you wake up."
Number 3 's favorite Rainbow Monkey looked back at her. Its stitched-on smile stared back blankly at her as the new episode's title card appeared on screen.
" Harvest and Hugs "
The title card read, and a beautiful instrumental reprise of the Rainbow Monkeys song began to play.
"This is going to be a good one!" Number 3 told the little orange monkey.
The episode started as Rainbow Monkey shows often did:with the Rainbow Monkeys frolicking about the Sunshine Cliffs. Things looked as cheerful as always until the episode took a tragic turn.
Kuki gasped as one of the rainbow monkeys fell from the cliff in a horrible accident. There was rainbow munchies cereal everywhere and the injured Rainbow Monkey cried in pain.
"It's okay," Number 3 told her little orange friend, "Cuddle Butterfly is going to be okay. They're going to get help."
Number 3's favorite Rainbow Monkey liked to act tough but deep down she knew he was a softie(Just like someone else she knew.) She didn't want him to worry too much. After all, it would be okay.
Things, however, were not okay.
The hospital they took Cuddle Butterfly to was very low on everything. A Doctor Monkey with a clipboard came on the screen.
"Usually we can just give her a new tail or have a new bag of Rainbow Munchies pumped into her, but a lot of Rainbow Monkeys have been getting hurt because the weather's been so nice and everyone's been at Sunshine Cliffs."
Cuddle Butterfly's friends were in complete despair. Just when it looked like the Rainbow Monkeys (the RAINBOW MONKEYS!) were about to start discussing death, another Doctor Rainbow Monkey rushed into the room. He explained that there were two very special Rainbow Monkeys who could help save their friend.
"Those must be the two new characters they kept talking about."
Number 3 hugged her orange friend in anticipation.
"I can't wait to buy the dolls!"
The two new rainbow monkeys were finally on screen. One was lime-mint green and had a completely yellow rainbow shape on top of her head. She said hello to everyone and Kuki realized she sounded a lot like that woman who saved them from the Delightful Children. The other Rainbow Monkey was pitch black and was outlined in red with bright-looking yellow eyes.
Number 3 believed that all Rainbow Monkeys were lovable. As long as they had the trademark stamp of approval from the Rainbow Monkey Corporation, they were alright by her. She had even loved a Rainbow Monkey who didn't have any fur once. But this one DEFINITELY needed a lot of hugs and tea parties. Those yellow eyes looked mean and he had an unpleasantly familiar feeling to him. He didn't even have a mouth, which made him even more unsettling. After all, without a mouth he couldn't smile.
The new Rainbow Monkeys introduced themselves to Cuddle Butterfly's friends. The mint green one was named Hüdin and the scary looking black one was Vater. They explained that they had invented a new way to save their friend's life.
"It's really genius." Vater bragged.
"The newest peak in medical technology!" explained Hüdin in a voice dripping with pride. They stepped out of the way as the double doors of the Rainbow Monkey hospital swung open.
Throughout the entire history of the Rainbow Monkeys, there had been some scenes, episodes and specials that had made Number 3 very upset or frightened. But this one took the cake.
A gurney rolled into the ward and on it a Rainbow Monkey thrashed in a desperate attempt to escape. The new character was a red patchwork monkey, but the reds were all different shades. Kuki couldn't see what color the new Rainbow Monkey's eyes were because he was wearing sunglasses.
"Wait a minute." Kuki squinted at the TV. "Haven't I seen those sunglasses before?" Her little stuffed friend didn't answer her.
Vater reached out a mean little paw to try and snatch the glasses, but he was stopped by Hüdin, who gently removed them from the Rainbow Monkey's face.
Number 3's eyes went wide as Hüdin moved even closer to the red patchwork monkey.
"This is Nigel Comprix. Unfortunately, he's not a very good Rainbow Monkey—"
"Yeah, he's absolutely the most worthless Rainbow Monkey ever!" Vater butted in with a familiar rage that Number 3 could have sworn she heard before. She made a mental note to check online to see who his voice actor was. He sounded really scary.
Numbuh 3 clutched her little orange favorite close as Vater ranted on and on about how bad poor Nigel Comprix was. She wondered what the poor Rainbow Monkey had done to make Vater so angry. Maybe it was just a misunderstanding.
Hüdin put a comforting paw on Vater and said "Our poor friend Nigel is not worthless. In fact, he can be very helpful thanks to the new procedure we've invented. It's called harvesting. In a couple of minutes these nice nurse Rainbow Monkeys are going to take our friend away and get him ready for a little procedure, but this little procedure is going to help a lot of Rainbow Monkeys."
Hüdin gestured around the room where at least 16 Rainbow Monkeys lay in their beds. Vater just stood in the background with his yellow eyes smoldering and let Hüdin do all the talking.
The next couple of minutes were spent reassuring Nigel Comprix that everything was going to be alright and he was going to help a lot of Rainbow Monkeys. Then he was taken away. Confused and worried, Number 3 watched very carefully for the third new character to reappear. The next scene had all the Rainbow Monkeys who had been in the hospital happily singing and dancing outside. Suddenly Number 3 noticed that all of them had red patches that looked just like… just like…
Wait a minute.
She gasped, and then the credits rolled.
It was the absolute worst Rainbow Monkeys thing Kuki had ever seen. And she went to that awful potty training theme park just a couple of weeks ago.
They tore up a Rainbow Monkey for his parts! And everyone was just supposed to be happy about it?
She looked down at her little orange friend. What if he was the Rainbow Monkey tied down to that gurney? Just because a rainbow monkey was cranky or didn't like to cuddle doesn't mean you can take him apart.
Every fiber of Number 3 was disgusted. She was the team's medic and the idea of harming a patient like that made her sick. She gave her bright orange Rainbow Monkey a kiss and said "Don't worry, Wally (for that was the Rainbow Monkey's name), It's just a mean TV show and if it was real I'd never do it to you."
That was Number 3's consolation as she went to bed thinking of the angry letters she was going to send to Rainbow Monkey HQ. It wasn't real, it was just pretend.