"Crowley?!"

"Surprise," was all Crowley could say as the others began speaking over each other and Lucifer's laughter rang in his ears.

—-

"Crowley, I really think it would be easier if I was not around for this," Aziraphale said, his face shifting into a frown that Crowley would almost call a pout. Leave it to Aziraphale to worry about what everyone cares about in all kinds of different situations.

"Crowley!? We killed him."

"But you didn't," Lucifer remarked.

"As I said before, surprise. I am not dead… Can I get a wahoo for that?"

"NO!" several people shouted together.

"Alright, alright, not something to joke about. Noted an-"

"You do not joke about dying! Or faking your own death twice!" Gabriel snapped at Crowley. Gabriel didn't understand how he could talk so carelessly about his death, as if it did not matter at all. It mattered so, so much to him and the others. He knew they were hurt by how Raphael had carelessly thrown his false death around like it was nothing. Ah! Just another Thursday! Not like there's anything unusual going on, like your dead brother coming back to life! Not odd at all!

"You know R, I have to agree with the purple man here. Even if it pains me to do so. Seriously not cool, even for an honorary demon," Lucifer agreed. "Besides, do I look like I have moved on? No."

Crowley looked around the room, trying to sneakily glance at everyone. He was hoping to see that his small joke had lightened the atmosphere a little since it had suddenly begun feeling uncomfortable and a bit smothering.

For being the archangel of healing of the body and mind and much more (again), he could be blind at times… and admittedly, he also knew that.

Which was why he dropped his signature smirk and stiffened as he realised what he had inadvertently done, or rather said. "Not funny? No? Anyone?"

"No, it is not," Aziraphale quietly agreed with the archangel siblings for one of the first times in a long time.

"Oh alright, sorry guys, didn't mean to hurt any of you… Humour is- has become a way for me to deflect and y'know, to ignore stuff I don't like."

"I am sorry it ended up like this, my dear brother," Michael apologised, feeling it was partly her fault for what happened. Which it also was. Michael was not ashamed to admit it to her siblings, not anymore! "I'm not sorry." It had brought them together again.

Reunited.

"Honestly, me neither," Uriel shockingly agreed; she had always been the one who had issues with change, bad and good. It was not her fault, it was just who she was. "It has led to this."

Together again, old and new, the same and different.

"Whatever this is."

"True."

"This is what has been needed for quite some time now," Gabriel and Lucifer both said and looked at each other in surprise. Oh, and it appears with something in their eyes as well.

"But what if it had not happened and you had survived and 'stayed' an angel? Do you think it may have been different then or even happened at all." Lucifer asked.

Crowley imagines how he would have become a bitter prick who mocked others because he was hurting on the inside. A cold and uncaring angel, just like his siblings had become some time after the fall. Everything about Armageddon would have been different, Adam would have been raised by the Dowlings and some random Nanny, he cringed at that thought. It might have- it would have started, Armageddon, -Hell would not have messed up the delivery like he had. Two kinds of stupid and the demons were stupid, but not that stupid to 'give and go'. They would watch like the creeps they were.

And Aziraphale… Crowley would not have cared about him at all, or didn't know or care about his existence at all, just another footsoldier! What would he have done without Aziraphale? And Aziraphale without him? It all would have happened, the end of the world. And he probably would not have cared about it one bit. That possibility made him sick.

As much as he would have loved to stay with his siblings. It would have done more harm than good if he had stayed and not fallen.

"Crowley? My dear, are you alright?" Aziraphale asked, worry clear in his grey-blue eyes. Crowley shook his head to ground himself, and to push his thoughts away.

"S'fine angel, I'm okay," Crowley brushed him off, feeling a bit irritable from all the pity.

His irritability must have shown when he spoke, because Aziraphale's brow furrowed and his eyes got a more worried look in them. Crowley was not someone who liked to be babied.

"You do not look okay," Gabriel said, emphasising his point by pointing at Crowley who was squirming uncomfortably for half a second and then shrugging.

Aziraphale nodded, agreeing with Gabriel.

"How can you stand there and talk to him as if you hadn't had a day where he did not patronise or degrade you!" Crowley snapped at Aziraphale, his throat felt dryer than a desert.

He didn't understand how Aziraphale could stand with Gabriel and agree with him! Gabriel had degraded and not taken Aziraphale seriously at all, while Aziraphale may not have explicitly told Crowley about it, it was terribly easy to wriggle information out of Aziraphale when wine was present. Crowley didn't understand why Aziraphale would gang up against him and with Gabriel of all people.

Crowley could not help but notice his breath now, it felt normal, but then he took another breath, one that was deeper and more forced than the others and then he took another, one that was deeper, one that made his throat feel very tight.

He couldn't breath, he couldn't breath- why can't he breathe? Why-

He took an involuntary step back, shaking as he did so. He wanted to claw at his throat, scratch it with his nails until he bled and clawed through his skin. His mouth didn't allow him to breathe, so he needed a new hole. He just needed to breathe!

Crowley just wanted to crawl into a corner and tear up, screw his siblings! Screw them all, he did not care anymore!

His wings appeared as his siblings attempted to get closer to him, all six spread as far as they could. It would almost have been looking threatening if it had not been for Crowley's stricken expression. Whatever got in the way of his wings was forcibly pushed back or down on the ground, the sound of each item falling made Crowley flinch like he had been slapped.

"Stop!"

Even as he said it, it sounded weak and pathetic. Typical of him. Always messing everything up, and with the best timings! What could he even do right? He can't even manage to hold a conversation with his siblings without him doing something and mess it up. Why did they even want to be with him after all this time? They probably didn't care about him after all. Maybe they did it out of some kind of pity? Or because they thought it was God's will that he had 'returned' or it was a sign of a second armageddon now that the first had failed spectacularly. Would they kill him when they found out he had been on the people at the airfield? Lucifer probably would after all this. Why would anyone even be with him? He messed up even the simplest of things.

It was too much, why does he have to tell his story? Can he not just say a short summarised version instead?

"Please."

Why was he suddenly like this? he thought, feeling lost as he crumbled to the ground, his wings embracing him like a lost lover, shielding him from the rest of the world, if only for a short while.

There were voices, muffled voices saying something. Whatever it was, it was not important right now - he had other things to worry about. The voices could wait.

Someone was sitting beside him, placing their hands gently onto his upper arms. The unknown hands made circular motions, gentle and distracting him from his deafening thoughts as he tried to escape whoever was touching him. Crowley wanted to tell them to stop, to go away, but he could not get any words out. His mouth felt like sandpaper.

How did whoever was doing this slip through his wings? Somewhere along the way he had realised they had subconsciously curled around him like a barrier.

Crowley. He still felt more comfortable referring to himself as Crowley. Raphael seemed like too many responsibilities he had sent away long ago, only to get them mailed back to him out of the blue. He was not ready for both names being his again.

He heard a voice more clearly than the other muffled sounds dancing around his ears.

"It's alright, I am here… Crowley." Calloused hands patted him quietly and gently on the back. Probably an attempt to mimic a hug. "Now, now, there is no need to wipe your nose on my blazer. It is frankly below your standards if I must say so."

Crowley made a gurgled laugh and smiled weakly into the blazer, although he tried to stop the smile from coming on his face, it only seemed to get bigger as the person consoling him continued to make weird remarks. Even as Crowley tried to escape the "hug."

"Ompf, you are squeezing a- you are crushing my spleen."

"You don't even know where your spleen is."

"And that is exactly what I am talking about. Just because we have emotions doesn't mean we want to deal with them."

"That is going to be my new motto from now on."

Lucifer laughed and Crowley slowly became less tense. His episode has obviously drained him and he was afraid that the others would treat him differently because of it. It was a stupid and he knew it, but the irrational voice in the back of his head kept whispering bad things in his ear. He tried to ignore it like usual, but this time it did not seem to work this time.

"Start slowly. If it becomes too much we can stop and take a break."

"No, no. We need to do it. 'Sides, I want that cookie I was promised."

Gabriel mouthed 'cookie?' to Uriel in confusion. Uriel just looked back at him and shrugged.

"We can wait a bit so you can rest."

"Yeah no, Honestly, I just wanna sleep for a few centuries, but I'm not allowed to do that anymore," Crowley mumbled.

"Take a powernap then," Lucifer shrugged and grabbed Crowley and hugged him gently. The hug was not too tight nor too rough. It was strong but gentle. Crowley did not feel the need to squirm out of the hug or tense up.

"Speak… Speak your tale now and don't look back at whatever happens afterwards," Lucifer said as he laid his head on Crowley's shoulder, making it more inconspicuous as he whispered before he ended the hug, as if he hadn't just whispered the most mixed-messaged sentence ever.

Crowley looked at Lucifer with slightly wide eyes, not trusting Lucifer's carefully blank facial expression. He really hopes Lucifer did not plan on doing something stupid or bad. They were all just starting to come together as a family again and not as co-workers or work rivals.

"Alright, y'know what? I'm going to do that after doing this shit. I don't care if you kill each other while I nap, I don't recommend killing anyone while I sleep, so please don't, but I won't care. I don't know what the angels see in you, guys can be surprisingly insufferable," Crowley mumbled the last part to himself, not caring if anyone heard. They are siblings and siblings are allowed to make fun of each other once in a while.

"What about your cookie," Gabriel teasingly asked, snickering quietly with none other than Uriel. Both of them are living proof of what Crowley just said.

This will go down a hill that Crowley was frankly too lazy for right now. Crowley thought as he looked at Gabriel and Uriel's matching expressions. Heavens- Hell no, he would not risk getting teased about his sudden and sporadic craving for naps and cookies.

Only one way to stop them…

"A disturbingly long time ago, in a land uncomfortably close to certain events…"

"Really, that is your go to line?"

…

Raphael dashed through the air, full of hurt and anger.

Did Michael not trust him anymore? Her own brother… Raphael felt betrayed, he could not remember a time where he had betrayed Michael's trust. Maybe the war had messed with Michael's head, along with his other siblings' heads, Raphael thought bitterly.

"I hate this war," he spat at no one in particular when he leaned rather roughly down towards the ground. He spread his wings and flapped them speedily, and as he landed with a loud boom, he relaxed his muscles on his wings. He rolled his shoulders once before he looked was simply admiring the different plant species and trees, he tried to spot anything that was not welcome in the garden as he gave his best 'admiring' face, before moving on.

He could be careful and sneaky if he wanted to.

Now he just tiptoed towards the tree, staying there for… He did not know for how long, and guard it. Sounded simple enough when he put it like that..

Raphael bgan moving towards his goal silently. Probably should have landed closer to the tree, he thought.

He moved silently, arms swinging lazily at his side. The scenery changed along with him. New plants appeared in his vision as he walked.

Bushes and trees were everywhere his eyes could see. From short to tall, thick to thin.

Inflorescences of calla lilies, carnations, chrysanthemums, marigolds and so many different flowers were everywhere. They sat in no particular order, they just sat and shined.

It was one giant multicultural jungle. It was brimming with so much life, above the ground and below.

Raphael knew that the humans would marvel at and love the garden for ages to come. He hoped Mother would let him help make the garden more habitable for the humans and make sure it came to Earth safely. Also, he really wanted to add a lake.

"Go to the garden and defend it… Do not do anything stupid, you are an archangel! You have responsibilities now, and this is currently one," Crowley made his voice high-pitched and attempted to mimic Michael. Irritated, he took a deep breath, filling his lungs fully before sighing deeply.

"If anything happens… It- in my defence I was left unsupervised," he mumbled to himself as he bent down and picked up a lone black rose that was laying on the ground. Just as he smelled the flower, a single petal fell and swayed gently as it fell down towards the ground, gliding down with the wind as its puppetmaster.

Fewer and fewer trees became visible as Raphael walked forward slowly. He was getting closer to the Tree.

He could see it. The Tree itself was brown and thick, its long branches spanned high up into the air and horizontally. Raphael was not sure what species it was, but it looked like a silver maple and a blue spruce combined as a hanging tree. Silver green vines were hanging on the tree, giving it a mysterious feeling. It was majestic.

"Stop right there!" a half-familiar voice yelled.

Plantael. That… bastard! Of course it would be him that Lucifer would send. The person who cares the least about what happens to the Tree and the garden it resides in.

Why did it have to be him?! Raphael panicked. Plantael had become known for his cruelty and violence during the war. So of course it should not have been a surprise that it would be Plantael. He did not know what to do, he did not want to get killed by Plantael, so he confronted the situation like he had confronted every conflict.

With style.

"Plantael! If it isn't the consequences of my own actions!"

And maybe a little regret.

"Raphael." Plantael sneered. Well, Plantael certainly did not care about him being archangel and all the other stuff that came with that, like the awesome power or the fact that Raphael was currently his superior. "What are you doing here!"

"What does it look like I'm doing?" Raphael said bravely as he slowly backed away, or attempted to at least. He didn't want Plantael to know what he was doing. "Besides, why are you here Plantael?"

"Keep your shitty nose out of my business," Plantael sneered. Plantael grabbed his sword, he looked ready to attack.

Raphael looked at the sword warily and saw his reflection on the cracked sword and for a moment he felt that his world had cracked around him.

A/N:

I really wanted to give this to you all before the tension in Ukraine got too bad and I wouldn't be able to do anything. I'm sorry if it's terrible, I had a few issues with the chapter, I admittedly rushed with the last part. The chapter and I, we don't seem to agree on where to go.