Senior Year
Carina hurried through the crowd. They were pushing their way out of the field, and she was trying to make her way in. She'd had to miss Maya's final race for a college alumni interview, and she was coming to meet her now to see how it'd gone. When Carina had almost made it to the locker room, she overheard two guys talking.
"Yeah I heard that Coach tore into his daughter because she was only a few seconds faster than the person behind her. I think she even broke a record, but Coach didn't care," one of them said.
"That makes sense though. Coach is tough." the other one replied. Carina was stuck on the words "coach tore into his daughter." If Lane had yelled at Maya, it could be even harder to find her than usual post meet. However, Carina had a good idea of where to start. She tunnel visioned her way through the locker room full of laughter and perfume and forgotten track uniforms until she'd reached the showers. Only one of them was on, and Carina had a good idea of who was in there.
"Maya?" she called out first, not wanting to startle her girlfriend when she was already possibly in a fragile state. When she didn't get a response she tried again. She heard a faint, "in here," in response. Carina gently pulled back the shower curtain to find Maya fully dressed under the shower head. The water was steaming; this was a technique that Maya often used to punish herself after her dad yelled at her.
"Oh, bambina," Carina stepped forward, letting herself be covered by the thick stream of water as she wrapped her arms tight around Maya. Maya attempted to push Carina away but she held on tighter.
"You're getting wet," Maya pouted.
"So are you, bella. I am not letting go of you unless you let me turn this cosa off," she gestured at the knobs. Maya shook her head and tried to push Carina away again.
"I can't," Maya whimpered, struggling against Carina's grasp.
"Yes you can, bambina. Just let me turn it off, per favore."
"Okay," Maya finally nodded, letting out a huge breath of air when Carina's hand came into contact with the knob. As Carina turned the water off, she brushed her lips against Maya's, and Maya shivered at the contact. Carina pulled away, and Maya leaned forward, searching for more.
"Not until you tell me a little bit about what happened, il mio amore," Carina objected, "You don't have to tell me everything, just enough for me to be able to give you the best aftercare possible." Carina slid her hands down Maya's arms until they were resting on her waist. Then she pulled her into another hug, giving her all the time she needed to talk.
"I qualified for the olympic training program," Maya said after a while. Carina knew that this was something Maya had struggled with for a while. They'd talked about it quite a lot: whether or not track was enough of her dream for her to want to go forward with training for the olympics post-graduation, or if it was just a little too much her dad's dream. She pulled back and brushed her thumb across Maya's cheek as she often did when Maya was upset.
"How are you feeling about that?" When Maya didn't answer for a while, Carina added, "It's 100 percent okay not to know." Carina could tell Maya was dealing with a lot of internal turmoil, because she wasn't making direct eye contact with her, which was Maya's way of "protecting Carina from the fucked-up shit in her life," as Maya had put it.
"Honestly, Car, I'm not sure. And I made the mistake of telling my dad that. Well, he proceeded to yell at me for half an hour about how I'm lucky I even came in first, and that the girl behind me almost had me beat, and that this opportunity wouldn't come up again, and that it's what we've been working for our whole lives, blah blah blah. He didn't even acknowledge that I had set a record."
"Oh, Maya. Bambina. Viene qui. Sit with me for a second." Carina guided Maya so that they were sitting on the floor of the shower, Maya in Carina's lap, "First of all I would like to say that I'm incredibly proud of you, bella, not only for setting the record, or for coming in prima, but also just for running. As for your dad, forget him, Maya. I know that's easier said than done, but you are so so incredibile, and if running in the olympics is not something that you want to do, then you shouldn't do it." Maya took a sharp inhale of breath, before turning in Carina's arms to kiss her. The kiss was desperate, filled with everything Maya wanted to say but didn't know how. Carina understood, she always did.
"Ti amo," Maya mumbled against Carina's lips. Carina's heart soar, as it did every time Maya spoke Italian.
"Ti amo anche io, bambina." They sat in silence for a while, Carina holding Maya tight against her, every once in a while pressing a kiss into her hair. "Hey, bella, do you remember our prima date?"
"I mean, Carina, how could I forget? I made a complete ass of myself in front of you, and you still went on to date me for two and a half years."
"I don't know what makes you think it was only for two and a half years," Carina was very close to Maya's ear, and she could feel Carina's voice throughout in her entire body. It felt amazing, "I plan on dating you for a lot more than two and half years, Bishop." Maya shivered.
"What about our first date?" she quickly asked in an attempt to distract Carina from the effect she was having on her.
"Once we'd made the decision for you to stay at my house, and we went back and made a what do you call it? A pillow fort? And then we lay in there and watched tv?" Maya smiled just at the memory, pulling Carina's arms tighter around her. Carina obliged.
"Yes, I most definitely remember that. That was the most fun I'd had in forever," she recalled. Carina glanced at her phone to make sure her parents were going to be out.
"What do you say, bella, would you want to do that again tonight?" Carina suggested. Maya lifted Carina's hand to her mouth, and kissed her knuckles.
"How is that you manage to speak two languages fluently, and a third?"
"How do you mean?"
"Italian, English, and Maya Bishop." Carina burst out laughing, her enormous, beautiful laugh that Maya had fallen in love with so many months before.
"Okay, genius, let's get you home," she announced. Carina stood, and helped Maya to her feet. Before she could do anything, she felt herself being pushed back against the wall of the shower, Maya's lips covering her own. Carina tried to keep herself from moaning into the kiss, because she would never be able to get Maya to stop if she knew how much Carina didn't want her to stop, and they couldn't do this here.
"Maya," Carina whined, "My parents and Andrea aren't home tonight. Let's wait." Maya pulled back, creating some distance between them.
"Sorry, you're right. It's just. Ugh, fuck, you're so beautiful. Sometimes I have trouble keeping my hands off of you," Maya said, sticking her hands into the pockets of her, still damp, sweats. Carina closed the distance between them again, and brushed her thumb over Maya's swollen lips.
"I know exactly what you mean. I cannot keep my hands off of you either, and that's why we need to stop. Because you're very calda, and I would like to fuck you right here and now, but that would not be a good idea."
"Carina?"
"Yeah, bambina?" Maya leaned in so her mouth was right next to Carina's ear.
"Can we fuck in the fort?" she whispered seductively, lightly nipping at Carina's ear with her teeth. Carina choked on her inhale, and had to take a minute to regain her composure. Maya had just used dirty talk on her in the middle of their high school locker room, and she couldn't do a damn thing. Carina should have known this was coming, though, because Maya always got horny after crying. It had been true since the very beginning of their relationship, and although Carina found it extremely sexy, it did become a problem on rare occasions, such as this one where they were not somewhere where they could privately engage in that genre of activity. With that, Maya pressed a hot kiss on Carina's neck, and left the showers. Carina took a deep breath, attempting to ignore the newfound burning between her legs.
"Are you coming, tartaruga?" Maya yelled from the main area of the locker room. Carina's heart skipped a beat. This was another reference to their first date, tartaruga being the first Italian word Carina had ever taught Maya. Carina found Maya, and slipped her hand into hers before they exited.
Later that night, Carina and Maya were lying in their fort. Maya was wearing the same peach oversized sweatshirt that she'd stolen from Carina two years before in a very similar fort. Maya was on her side, tucked into Carina, her head nestled on Carina's shoulder. Carina was on her back, her arm wrapped around Maya. Carina could hear Maya's breath slowing, approaching sleep. She turned to kiss Maya's forehead, and Maya's eyes fluttered open.
"I'm sorry, bambina, I did not mean to disturb you."
"It's okay. I don't really want to sleep-"
"Maya," Carina interrupted, "You set a record today. You need your rest."
"I know, and I'll sleep eventually, I promise. I was just wondering if maybe we could kiss for a little while first. It's been a rough day, and I just think I need that connection with you right now." Carina's eyes filled with tears. This was one of the first times that Maya had ever asked for something that she needed or wanted without having to be prompted.
"Oh, bella, of course. I'm so proud of you for asking for what you need, but also you do not need to ask in a situation such as this." Maya nodded, all of a sudden feeling shy. Carina picked up on it. She found it very cute when Maya got soft, and it happened more often than Maya would ever care to admit. Carina stroked Maya's cheek, and brought their lips together. Maya's kissing was closed off, timid, sad. She would talk when she was ready. For now, Carina would give her what she had asked for. Eventually Maya lightly touched Carina's upper lip with her tongue, requesting access. Carina gave it to her, graciously accepting. Carina accidentally let a moan escape, and she immediately froze in her tracks. She knew that Maya was feeling vulnerable right now, and she didn't want to make her feel more uncomfortable or worse than she already did. Maya pulled back, sensing Carina's hesitation.
"Car, it's okay. I like hearing you moan. It means I'm making you feel good, and I like making you feel good."
"Yeah, but it is not about me right now. It's about what you need."
"I disagree, Carina. But even if that were the case I think what I need right now is to make you feel good." It was Carina's turn to shiver. Maya moved so that she was straddling her, and immediately lent down to kiss her. This time her kissing was sloppy, and urgent, begging for more. Their moans were blending together as Maya slid her hand up Carina's stomach, cupping one of her boobs. Carina let out a particularly pleading moan as Maya worked her hand under her shirt, her thumb coming into contact with a bare nipple.
"No bra, huh," Maya teased, before lightly biting and sucking a spot on Carina's neck. She pinched Carina's nipple between her thumb and forefinger, and did the same with her other hand and the other nipple. Carina bit down on her lip to keep from crying out in pleasure. They'd been so busy lately that they'd basically fucked wherever and whenever they got the chance, getting right to the chase. This was the first time in a few months that there had been any teasing, and Carina could not figure out whether she was happy for that or not. Whether the hiatus was making this feel better or not, it felt like she could already see stars and Maya was still working on pleasing the upper half of her body.
"Fanculo, Maya," she breathed out.
"Would you like something, baby?" Maya rarely ever used pet names, and when she did it was typically during sex, and Carina would always go all bottom.
"Could you…go lower?…I think I'm gonna cum," she struggled to get the words out. Maya was still playing with her nipples, so she was having a hard time concentrating.
"Oh, you want me to go lower, huh?" Carina nodded aggressively, whimpering under Maya's touch. Her own hand flew to the zipper of her pants, but Maya gently stopped it, interlocking their fingers.
"Bambina, Maya, per favore, per favore," Carina pleaded. Finally Maya caved, giving Carina exactly what she wanted.
Carina lay naked, catching her breath. They had transferred their movie to Carina's laptop, which was set on the arm of the couch, so they could spoon and still watch. Maya was the big spoon, holding her girlfriend's trembling body as she recovered.
"Give me a couple of minutes, and then you better be ready for your turn, bella," Carina spoke out of the silence.
"No, Car, it's okay. I'm pretty tired. Maybe we can just go to bed?" Carina could tell when Maya was bullshitting faster than she could tie her shoe. However, that didn't mean she should confront her about it, because that may very likely make it worse, so she went along with it. Maya would come to her with the truth when she was ready.
"Okay, bambina, if you're sure," Carina said, "But I would like to return the favor at some point. You made me feel incredible tonight, bella."
"You can," Maya smiled exaggeratedly, "Just not feeling up to it tonight." Carina nodded. She pulled the blanket up over them, and snuggled closer to her girlfriend behind her.
"Goodnight, Maya. Ti amo. I am here if you would like to talk at any point during the night." She turned slightly, kissing Maya's forehead, before letting her head hit the pillow. Maya didn't answer, and Carina was almost sure she was asleep when she shuffled so she was facing Carina.
"I just don't deserve it tonight." Carina's heart sunk. She'd known that what Maya's dad had said to her had hurt a lot more than she was willing to admit. Maya was still evaluating herself based off of her dad's words and that was the problem. Carina tried to keep her anger at Lane out of her voice.
"Why's that, bambina?"
"I didn't run my best," Maya replied almost immediately, touching her forehead to Carina's, "There should have been a lot bigger of a difference between my time and the time of the girl behind me. You can for sure repay me on a good practice day." Carina felt her heart sink all over again. Despite having been trying for over two years, Carina had never succeeded in fully preventing Maya from taking something her dad had said to her to heart. Not knowing what else to do, she pulled Maya towards her.
Maya, attempting to hold back tears and lighten the mood, said, "You gotta put some clothes on, Car, or I'm going to have to repay you for all your past favors right now."
"Oh, neonata. You are so so talented, and I wish you could see yourself run the way I see it. Dio, it's one of the most incredibile things I have ever had the privilege of witnessing. Not to mention how bella you are during, and I just want to say I am so sorry I had to miss it today." Maya cuddled closer to her girlfriend, relishing in her words. Maybe if she could let her dad's words have so much pull in her life, she could let Carina's too. She could listen to both of them, and it would cancel out. Before she even realized it, she was sobbing, and Carina was holding her tighter.
"Please don't feel bad about not being there today," she cried, "You had an important interview. You were there when I needed you most, which was after. I mean you were the one who got me home, please don't forget that. You're just so amazing, and I don't deserve you, and I'm so sorry I haven't asked about your meeting yet. How did it go?" Carina kissed Maya hard, just to keep her from continuing to spiral.
"For one thing, bambina, you most definitely do deserve me. You deserve the mondo. You are just as amazing when I need you to be. Right now you happen to be the one who needs the support, but if and when that changes, I know you would not leave my side," Carina assured, "As for the interview, I'll tell you more about it later, because you need sleep, but it went very well." Maya started to calm down as she let Carina's words sink in. She buried her head in Carina's bare chest, and Carina chuckled, holding her girl just a little tighter.