AN: I thought it would be cute to explore those sides of Maya and Carina that we don't get to see often, so I made that a focus in this chapter.
The Boards
Carina felt a hand on her shoulder, and she jumped. In an attempt to get in as much last minute study time as possible, she had decided to relocate downstairs to the lobby so that she wouldn't fall asleep. She'd been buried deep in an article about extreme OB cases on the off chance that one of her proctors threw in a curveball question, but she didn't remember a thing that she had read in the past ten minutes. Apparently hyper focusing on her work was just another way for her body to sneak in much needed sleep. It was almost three in the morning so Carina assumed that the hand on her shoulder had been that of one of the staff, attempting to remind her that she did in fact have a six hour oral test later that day that determined whether or not the last decade of her life had meant anything or if it had just been an utter waste of time. But when she turned to meet their gaze, it wasn't that of the skinny bus boy who had been attempting to flirt with her all night; it was the familiar, dimpled, face of her girlfriend. Her girlfriend who was supposed to be at their apartment in Baltimore, not standing in front of her in the lobby of a San Francisco hotel.
"Maya?"
"I know you told me that you were good to do this on your own, and I know that you could, and that you are going to kick ass on that test later no matter what. But something about you being here, alone, about to compete for your own gold medal. It didn't seem right to me. Especially since you did travel all the way to London to support me when I got mine."
"I-" Maya's smile dropped, replaced by a look of concern.
"Oh shit. I shouldn't have come. I've gotten in your way, I'm sorry. I can just go-" Carina stopped Maya's ramblings by grabbing her hand. She looked up at Maya, trying to portray to her with just her eyes how much more than okay it was that she was there.
"Marry me."
"How much of that expresso I packed have you drunk?" Maya asked, chuckling to herself. When Carina was sleep deprived, her judgement was often quite impaired. She had to drink a lot of alcohol to actually get drunk, but one night of four hours of sleep and she was online shopping like her life depended on it.
"I'm serious, bella. Marry me." Maya looked at Carina. From her expression it didn't look like this was just a spur of the moment decision due to a lack of sleep. The intensity behind Carina's gaze almost made Maya turn away, not because she didn't want to marry Carina. She wanted to marry Carina more than anything, but she knew that this was not the way to do it. The proposal may have not been a punchy antic, but Carina was about to find out the entire course of her future, and she did not really have much of a say in it at all. However, choosing to marry Maya, to spend the rest of her life with her, was a way for Carina to maintain at least some control over her future. Maya knelt down so that she was at eye level with Carina, who was still sitting.
"Carina, baby, one day I would like to be your wife. I want the whole shebang, something borrowed, something blue, you," she paused to brush some of Carina's hair that had fallen out of her ponytail behind her ear, "But you're not proposing to me right now because it's the right time. You're proposing to me because if we get engaged this morning, then you could walk into that test knowing that at least one thing in your future is set and stone no matter what happens in that room. Can I tell you something, though?" Carina had been averting Maya's gaze, fully aware that Maya was right, and not wanting to have to deal with how awkward she may have made things by making the blonde turn down a marriage proposal from out of nowhere. However, at this, Carina's brown eyes found baby blue once more.
"Si."
"You already have that one set in stone thing. I don't care if we don't get married until we're old, and grey, and playing the token lesbian characters in an original retirement home production put on by America's newest sweetheart, who happened to be our roommate. I am not going anywhere. I don't need to wear a ring to know that you are the person that I want to, and will, spend the rest of my life with."
"We're not going to get married until we're marcire in a prigione for old people?"
"Really, baby, is that seriously all you got from what I just said? It could end up being next fucking week that we're ready. As long as we're doing it for the right reasons I would marry you in a fucking heartbeat." Maya had wanted to make it clear this time, to fully reassure Carina. Her volume had been dangerously close to a yell. Before Carina had a chance to answer, Maya was met with a disappointed look from one of the front desk clerks.
"Sorry. I'm sorry," losing all the confidence she'd had just a few seconds before. "She's never even met me before I swear. I just walked right up to her and started talking about marriage-" Her rambling was cut off, muffled by Carina's lips, which were pressed, hard, against Maya's. Before Maya could even register it Carina had pulled away, scooping her bag up with one hand, and pulling Maya towards the elevator with the other. When they'd reached the elevator, Carina handed her bag to Maya and took her face in her hands. Slowly, she edged closer, before finally bringing the blonde in for a slow, passionate kiss. This kiss was very different from the one they had just shared. The first kiss had been rough, a way to force Maya back from whatever guilt/hero complex world she had mentally fallen into. This one was to remove Maya a little more gently, to give her girlfriend the time to fully process what had happened and what feelings she had about that. Carina never deepened the kiss, just kept her lips loosely hung to Maya's, her hands holding Maya's head in place so that she couldn't deepen it herself, not stopping or pulling away until the ding of the elevator's arrival. When the door had closed behind them, Carina turned to face Maya once more.
"Would you like to talk about it, bella?"
"Not right now. I promise I will soon, but this is your big moment, bambina. What we're going to do right now is I'm going to help you shower, tuck you into bed, and read you OB articles until you fall asleep."
"Grazie per essere venuta, bella. Avevo davvero bisogno di te qui, ma non sapevo come chiedere," Carina said in return. Maya cocked her head, a satisfied grin appearing on her lips.
"What was that, my love?" Carina blushed. She looked down, her hands slipping from Maya's face. Maya rarely ever saw this side of Carina, but in Maya's opinion, there was nothing more adorable than a shy Carina. She carefully took one of Carina's hands in her own, her other hand coming up to lift Carina's chin.
"You're cute, and I love you. Could you please tell me what you said?" Maya had been taking Italian courses for a few months at that point, and could understand a lot more when Carina spoke it. However she hadn't quite mastered Carina's ramblings yet. The color in Carina's cheeks deepened, and she was tempted to look away again -no one had ever been able to make her feel the way that Maya did- but she didn't. Instead she placed a kiss to Maya's palm, and took a deep breath.
"I said 'Thank you for coming, beautiful. I really needed you here, but I did not know how to ask.'" Maya chuckled.
"I know what bella means, Carina. You didn't have to translate that one," she said playfully. Carina gasped, swatting Maya in the shoulder.
"Stupida."
"Oh come on, you know you love it," Maya whispered, her lips dangerously close to Maya's ear. Carina struggled to control a sudden urge to shiver.
"The Maya Bishop confidence yes. You thinking you're a comica, maybe," (comedian). Maya smiled.
"Thank you for telling me, Carina. I'm so glad that I get to be here for you." Carina's face turned a reddish pink for the third time since entering the elevator. She didn't have time to react before they made it to the floor that they were staying on. Once arriving in their room, Maya did exactly as she'd said she would. The last thing Carina heard was Maya taking a deep breath between sentences before she slipped off into a calm sleep. Maya smiled. She set the article down on the bedside table, and lay back down on her side. She wrapped her arms around Carina, who instinctively moved closer in her sleep. Pressing a kiss to her forehead, Maya allowed her own eyes to close.
Carina awoke to darkness, not quite sure why she was awake. Her body yearned, screamed, for more than the two and a half hours of sleep she'd gotten. When she'd registered her surroundings a little more, she realized that it was Maya who had woken her.
"Good morning, beautiful." Maya's ability to be fully awake and chipper before the sun was even up never failed to amaze Carina.
"Why am I awake?" She groaned. Maya smiled, tucked her hand behind Carina's head, and placed a soothing kiss to her forehead.
"It's about 6:15. You have to be downstairs in forty five minutes right?"
"Shit!" Carina shot up, almost banging her head against Maya's. A look of panic crossed her face. "Oh, bambina, I'm so sorry." She brushed her thumb across Maya's cheek, trailing behind with her lips. Maya pulled Carina into a hug.
"It's okay. Just breathe," Maya reassured her, "You already showered before you went to bed, and I set out some clothes and breakfast for you. You've got time."
"You got breakfast?" Carina's eyes glistened with tears threatening to fall. Maya nodded.
"How?"
"I didn't sleep much. I went exploring and found this 24 hr diner that had 'the best french toast in San Francisco.'" Maya put air quotes around the last part; it had been a painted onto the door of the diner, as well as being printed in large block font at the top of every menu.
"You got me french toast?" The tears fell, slowly at first, and then speeding up. Maya reacted quickly, gently wiping at Carina's cheek with the back of her hand.
"Shhh, I love you. Now go eat."
"Ti amo, Maya. Ti amo. Ti amo. Ti amo." Maya chuckled, and kissed away the last of Carina's tears. Then she stood, offering a hand to Carina, who graciously accepted it. Carina let Maya help her up, and guide her to the kitchen, even feed her a few of bites of the french toast. She needed that to hold on to if she was ever going to survive this test.
Maya paced around the small interior of the hotel room. Carina had been in the test for almost six hours. If all went as planned it should be over fairly soon. Maya's body wanted to run, needing that release, but she couldn't bear to leave the hotel. She had to be there for Carina, and couldn't risk getting lost and not being there when the test let out. Maya was in the process of trying to open one of the windows for some fresh air when she heard the click of the card in the door. She turned around, barely able to contain her body as it surged with pent up anxiety and excitement.
"So?" Carina's eyes met Maya's and she broke, sinking to the floor in a mess of tears. Maya let out an "oh" before rushing to Carina. She knelt down in front of her, and pulled her into her arms. Not sure what to do she pressed a kiss into Carina's hair, just holding her, just letting her know that she was there. It didn't take long for Carina's sobs to subside; she sniffled, pulling back so she could see Maya.
"That bad, huh?"
"No."
"Oh?" Carina didn't say anything else, just kept her eyes locked on Maya's.
"Would you mind explaining, baby? I'm a little confused, and perhaps concerned. I just held you in my arms as you sobbed, and I need you to tell me what's going on so I know whether or not I need to be worried."
"La veritá é non lo so." (The truth is I don't know) Carina said. Maya looked at her sympathetically. She tightened the hold she had on Carina's hand with a small squeeze.
"Would you like to try to talk it out? Or do you want a distraction? Or a nap?" Carina thought it over.
"I think it just all hit me. When I saw you, it hit me that it was actually over. All this time working towards this one goal, and I had finished it. Seeing you just allowed me to relax, and feel the release of it being over," she explained.
"That makes sense."
"Si."
"I'm proud of you."
"Thank you, bambina," Carina smiled. They sat in silence for awhile, Maya absently drawing circles into Carina's palm, Carina studying the plum tinted circles under Maya's eyes.
"Maya?"
"Yes, Carina?"
"Can I take you up on that nap idea?"
"Of course, my love."
"Will you cuddle with me?"
"Yes, baby." Maya and Carina rose, hand in hand, and walked to the bed. They separated to climb onto their respective sides of the bed. Maya lay on her back, and extended her arms, a silent invitation. Carina sighed happily, tucking herself into the blonde's side. Maya responded by wrapping her arms around Carina's waist.
"I love you," she whispered. Carina responded by bringing their lips together. She tangled her hands in Maya's hair, and slightly deepened the kiss until she heard a hum of pleasure from Maya. Then she pulled back and nestled back into Maya's shoulder.
"I love you too," she said, "Now get some sleep." Maya groaned, and Carina laughed. She couldn't believe how lucky she'd gotten. Maya, as she pulled her kickass doctor girlfriend just a little tighter, had the same thought.