Thanks to all reviewers - KrisShannon, DS2010, NCISJunkie79, fiftyshadeswritergal, sherryola, and Troubled-Angel-26! Special thanks to KrisShannon and fiftyshadeswritergal for their help in proofreading. :D You guys are the best!
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...
Ziva ran down the hallway, heart pounding and mind racing.
Where can I hide? Where can I hide?!
"Ziva! Stop!" she heard Tony yell from behind her but she refused to listen to her partner. How could she even know if he was her partner? Perhaps he was really an enemy. The echoes were deafening She blindly ran into the stair case and skipped steps as quickly as possible.
...
Back in the bullpen Gibbs straightened.
"She certainly has a strong arm," he noted, rubbing his jaw.
"You okay, Boss?" Tim asked.
"I'm fine. Worry about Ziva," Gibbs ordered. Tim nodded.
"Boss, she's running down the stairwell," Tony called, rushing back. "What's all that about? Why did she hit you?"
"Panic attack. I saw it in her eyes. Something snapped when I stepped toward her. It scared her." He pointed to the stairway. "What are you two waiting for? We need to find her. She can't be alone in the middle of an attack like that, especially when she's hurt."
"Going, Boss!" Tim replied.
"Wait. Ziva's really close to the director. Maybe Jenny could help?" Tony suggested. "I could go tell her."
"Good idea. Tim, go to Jenny. Tony, you and I will look for her. Call Duck too."
"Why am I the one telling the director?" Tim asked.
"You're more diplomatic than Tony or me. Now, everyone, go! We've got to find that girl."
...
Ziva ducked into an empty room, trying to figure out where she could go to hide. She had no doubt that within minutes Gibbs would be chasing her down, ready to either punch her back to Israel or kill her for hitting him. She gasped again and again. The panic was increasing the pain from her wound.
Where can I go? Ducky? He is a safe person. He would not hurt me. But I cannot go there. Gibbs will be sure to check there and if he found me I do not know what he would do. And Ducky would want to fix my cut but I cannot let him. I do not want him to know.
Jenny? She would protect me - I think. But she may be angry that I struck Gibbs. Besides, I would have to go past the bullpen to go to her and then Gibbs would see me.
They will check with Abby. I know that they will. I cannot go there either.
I am all alone!
"Ziva!" a voice echoed from far down the hall. Ziva froze, then crept to the door and carefully looked around. Tony was at the end of the hall. He disappeared into one room, calling her name. She took the opportunity to dash out into the vacant hall and continue running.
...
"So where was she heading?" Jenny Shepard asked Tim as she hurried out of her office.
"She headed downstairs, I think," Tim said, jogging behind her quick strides.
"She's bleeding?"
"Yes. Tony says that he thinks she was cut by the knife the suspect had when he was arrested."
"It must not have been too serious, but it looked like maybe she had small cut that had been leading long enough to stain her shirt quite a bit."
"How long ago was the arrest?"
Tim glanced at his watch as they hurried down the hall, looking around for their missing little assassin. "Half an hour, maybe? I wasn't there. Tony was with her and he didn't notice anything was wrong until Gibbs pointed out the stain on her shirt five minutes ago."
"I hope it isn't bad," Jenny worried. "I have a hard time understanding why she did not get help if she was feeling so badly."
"Gibbs thinks that she is having a panic attack. Could that have affected how she was thinking?"
"Maybe." Jenny spun around in the hallway. "Ziva. Ziva! Dear, where are you?"
...
Ziva rushed past Abby's lab and found a closet - this one far away from the grumpy janitor's closet that she had used for refuge nearly a year ago. She normally would not take a hiding spot, preferring to take up an offensive position. Normally she preferred to fight rather than flee. But today? She was afraid. She could not pin down an exact reason for her fear but gone were her nerves of steel. If she entered a fight now she would have no control, resulting in either being killed or killing her opponent. She would do what she could to avoid engaging.
She gained the hiding spot just in time - Tony was on her trail. He entered Abby's lab two minutes later. Ziva listened to their conversation.
Tony!" Abby cheered. "Wait, what's the matter?"
"Abs, have you seen Ziva?" Tony puffed between breaths.
"No, not since first thing this morning when we came in at the same time. Why? Wait, something's wrong. Ziva's gone? Ziva's hurt? Ziva's sick? Should I go to the hospital? What unit? Why aren't you with her?"
"Stop, Abby! Stop!"
"Just tell me, Tony!"
"Ziva seems to be having a panic attack. She's bleeding and she freaked out."
"How did she freak out?"
"Hit Gibbs before running away. He says that her eyes were glazed over and she was frightened."
"Oh, poor Ziva!" Abby gasped.
"Now we have to find her."
"How can I help?" Abby asked eagerly.
Ziva frowned slightly in her hiding spot. Why the concern? She had just attacked their team leader - who everyone adored - and yet they sounded ... worried? A new type of pain began squeezing around her heart. To distract herself, she silently slipped out of her hiding spot while Abby and Tony planned a search party for her. She was accompanied by the accusations in her mind.
...
Gibbs walked up the hallway. His team was scattered over the building, searching for Ziva, but Gibbs hoped that he would be the one to find her. He had a good feeling about this hallway. Secluded, quiet, plenty of hiding spots. He walked quietly past a few doors, then suddenly sat, leaning against the wall, next to one partially closed door.
"Oh, I hope that I can find that girl," he said aloud. "She must have been feeling pretty frightened to lash out like that. Totally understandable. I'd have done the same if I was in her shoes."
He sighed and shifted his position. "Yes, and that cut must be hurting a fair bit. I'm concerned about that. I know Duck would want to check it to see how he could help. He loves Ziva, always telling me about how her visits brighten his days. I know that he would be happy to get a chance to help her."
Gibbs leaned his head back and closed his eyes. "I don't know what the team will do if we can't find her. Tony has been searching everywhere. He even got Abby to help him. Tim and Jenny have been searching through the whole building. Tim was disappointed that she left behind her phone so that he could not help by tracking her. He's scared for her. I am too."
...
Ziva barely dared to breath. Gibbs was just outside of the room. He seemed to have stopped for a rest and he was talking to himself. His tone was soft and inviting. His words argued with the angry tones of the echoes in her head.
No one wants you, the echoes mocked.
I want you, declared Gibbs.
You are a coward, the echoes taunted.
I understand, soothed Gibbs.
True warriors don't feel pain, jabbed the echoes.
I care about your pain, countered Gibbs. We all care.
You are weak to give in to fear.
I am afraid - for you.
You are WORTHLESS! screamed the echoes.
"You are precious to us, Ziva."
Ziva froze, her eyes growing huge as she processed that Gibbs was now talking directly to her. Her body was taut. She tried to think of an escape but there was no other way out than the door Gibbs was apparently guarding.
He knows I'm in here and I can't get away!
His voice was as comforting as if he was talking to a small child. "I don't want to scare you anymore, Ziver. That was a mistake earlier. I'm sorry."
He apologized - to me?!
He doesn't sound like he is angry. Maybe ... maybe I could trust him?
"I'm right here, Ziva. I want to help you. All of us want to help you. When you're ready to let us help, come on out, okay? I'll just stay out here for now."
Ziva leaned against the wall on her side. He was right. The pain from her wound was increasing, she was tired of being scared and alone, and she had no where else to go.
But could she trust him?
Don't trust him! Don't trust anyone, especially someone who you just treated like an enemy! chanted the echoes.
"Jethro! Have you found her yet?" Jenny's voice reverberated in the hallway. Ziva could hear the familiar click of her heels.
Suddenly one memory echo returned. Its delicate power of maternal love drowned out all fears and doubts for a few seconds. Jenny reminded Ziva of those beautiful echoes. If Jenny trusted Gibbs right now, maybe she could as well.
...
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