Thanks for all the well-wishes, everyone! The situation is stressful which is why some days I just don't feel like writing and want to just watch "I Love Lucy" so that I can laugh away my troubles (if only!). Sorry for the delays in responding to reviews, but I'm trying not to force myself too much.
Thanks to fiftyshadeswritergal and JessicaRae95 for their help in editing!
Thanks for the reviews Dalm, Troubled-Angel-26, Queenofwheels, xstargirlx123, DS2010, S, HappyGuest, Fan, Rhi, A, starie78, JessicaRae95, and Tamara. I appreciate the notes and reviews. They always brighten my day, but especially the bad ones!
Merry Christmas and happy New Year to you all, as well as Happy Hannukah or any other holiday that is currently celebrated/has recently happened/will soon occur.
Now, enjoy!
Warning: CONTAINS SPANKING IN THIS CHAPTER!
...
The thought of punishment scared Ziva even though she would never admit to it. She willed herself to focus on the sandpaper moving back and forth on the wood rather than looking up at Gibbs.
"I need to understand something, Ziver. Just answer, okay? I'm not going to discipline you for being truthful now - I just want to know why you lied to me earlier this week."
Ziva did not care about how kindly the question was worded - she still hated it. A few weeks ago she would have even declared that she would never answer it, not in a million years. Now, however? She knew that Gibbs had ways of getting the truth and she had a feeling that he would keep asking until she spilled the peas.
"Were you scared to tell me the truth?" Gibbs prompted.
Ziva grimaced at the word "scared" and resolutely shook her head "no".
"I am not scared of you," she said with as much defiance as she could muster while standing in the very basement where she had heard rumours that Gibbs gave some of his biggest spankings. She might have had reason to be concerned ... especially as she had the feeling that she was lying right then.
He did not play into the trap to get him riled and distracted from the original question.
"If you are not scared of telling me the truth, then why did you lie?"
She did not answer.
Please just let him forget the question and me and everything that I have done this last week!
He did not.
She was trying to play his game, but he was the champion.
The two of them sanded that boat for half an hour in silence. Gibbs did not say a single word aside from an occasional "more here" as he pointed her to a new area to work.
But Ziva's thoughts were not very quiet as they tumbled through her head.
Why did I do it?
Was it because I was scared of Gibbs?
No! I am not scared of anyone!
Was it because I wanted to make him angry?
No! I do not want him angry.
Was it because I wanted to break the rules?
No! Those rules are nothing to me!
Was it because I had it all under control?
I did have it under control!
At least, that was what she thought at first.
She had lots of time, and the questions repeated themselves, forcing her to be a little more honest.
Why?
Maybe I was ... not scared ... concerned about he would react. Yes, concerned. I was concerned about him being angry.
Did I want to make him angry?
Maybe I wanted to see how he would treat me if he got angry. But he is not acting angry and I am glad because I really do not want to have to fight him while I am ill. Perhaps when I am better ... but not today. Not now.
Was it because I wanted to break the rules?
Yes, but it was not all about the rules. Of course, I am not used to those kinds of rules being enforced in my life and it can be strange and difficult to listen to them. I usually do not want to listen to them. I want to live all on my own. But when I am on my own, I do not have the same kind of love all around me.
Was it because I had it all under control?
No. I did not. I wanted to have it all under control, but that was a failure and I knew it!
She sighed loudly.
"I do not know why," she admitted, breaking the silence.
Gibbs looked up and gave a little nod of encouragement.
"Keep thinking. I'm sure you've got some possible reason."
Even though he only said a few words here and there, the words that Gibbs chose always made an impact.
"A ... few," Ziva admitted.
"Let's hear 'em."
"I want to do it on my own. I thought that I was fine."
"But were you?"
Ziva bit her lip, then reluctantly admitted, "No."
"And did you know that before yesterday?"
"A ... little."
"Yes, or no, Ziva."
"Yes."
"Then why didn't you tell me or Ducky?"
"Because I did not want to be in trouble," she admitted with a big sigh.
"But not telling us got you in a lot more trouble," Gibbs replied, setting down his tools to focus solely on her. "I am going to discipline you, Ziva, but first I want to make sure that you understand - I am going to discipline you for being deceptive, not for being hurt in the first place. Understand?"
"Yes."
"Say it back to me."
"You are disciplining me."
"Why?"
"Because I ..." she faltered.
"Because you what?"
She paused and rethought what Gibbs had told her. Understanding lit up her face unexpectedly as she recalled his words. "You are going to discipline me because I lied to you and did not tell you the truth when you asked. But ... you are not upset that I got hurt?"
...
"No. I don't like that you got hurt, but I am never going to punish you for being hurt. However, I will be disciplining you for your other disobedience."
Gibbs pulled a work bench out a little and sat down, watching her sand nervously. He hated to have to do this, but everyone - aside from Ziva herself - was agreed. He needed to stay firm.
"First, your grounding will be continued for a while." He saw her stiffen a little and continued. "You have been told to take care of yourself, and although you are not in trouble for getting hurt, I think you need to have some consequences for endangering your health by refusing to get help. I know that you might not think this is fair, but we told you that risking your health is not going to be tolerated. I think that some time to think about why you need to take good care of yourself is warranted. Do you understand?"
"For how long?" Ziva mumbled.
"Until Ducky thinks that your cut is healed enough for him not to worry about it getting reinfected."
Ziva huffed unhappily.
"You got a problem?" Gibbs asked warningly, hoping for her to drop the attitude.
""Ducky will take forever to say that I am okay!" she complained.
Gibbs had to keep from chuckling at her morose tone, instead scolding, "That is a natural consequence of your decision, Ziva. Good behaviour should allow your body to heal faster. If you follow the rules, then maybe some of the restrictions can be lifted early. Do you understand?"
She nodded reluctantly.
"I need you to say it, Ziva."
"Yes."
"Good. Now, we also need to deal with this matter of lying. You've been doing it for quite a while, haven't you?"
Ziva's miserable nod rivaled those of Abby's. It was clear that she knew that she was in for a spanking and was dreading it. So was Gibbs for that matter.
"Thank you for admitting that, Ziva. Now, do you remember the consequences for lying?"
"Maybe," Ziva hedged.
"You will always get spanked for lying, Ziva. Always. I need to be able to trust you and you broke that trust this week. If I can't trust you to tell me the truth about being in pain or needing to talk to Ducky, then how can I trust you in other areas?"
Ziva's face was turning red. Probably partly because she was still a little sick and needed to rest, but he was certain that a good amount was from embarrassment and regret.
"You can trust me," she said softly. Gibbs shook his head.
"I want to, Ziver, but I need you to be truthful with me so that I can be sure."
Ziva's eyes were threatening to tear up a little and she blinked hard.
Gibbs saw that the message had hit home. Ziva was guilty and sorry.
No need for more scolding. Time to get this finished.
"Do you have any questions about your consequences?"
Ziva shook her head sadly. Gibbs was so tempted to call off the whole punishment seeing her miserable state, but he did not. He braced himself before quirking his finger at her.
"Come here, Ziva."
Ziva did not say anything, just put away the sandpaper that she had been holding and slowly came to his side.
...
Ziva's tummy flipped a little as she dragged her feet to stand next to Gibbs' side. She looked down at his lap and gulped a little.
I do NOT want a spanking!
"Why are you getting this spanking, Ziva?" Gibbs asked calmly, taking her hand and looking at her with sympathy and sternness.
She shook her head a little in protest, but a gentle squeeze of her hand produced, "Because I lied."
"Good girl. Now bend over."
"No! I do not want to bend over," Ziva mumbled unhappily, worry thick in her voice as all hope of escape disappeared.
"Don't say 'no' to me, young lady!" Gibbs said in a scolding tone. He could see that she was just trying to delay, not actually telling him that she could or would not accept the discipline. One half-step toward him confirmed that. He kept scolding. "You're getting spanked for lying. I don't think you want me to have to spank you for being disrespectful as well."
Ziva hung her head and shifted back and forth next to his knee but still made no move to bend over.
"I'll help you if you don't want to do it on your own," Gibbs said after a moment of inaction. He took a firmer grip on her hand as he began to pull her down across his lap. Her stomach had the funny feeling that she used to get when she swung too high on a swing.
"Move forward," Gibbs told her. His hand rested on her hip and his arm was a warm weight on her back.
Ziva shook her head again, staying as still as possible. Moving forward would put her bottom in the best place to be spanked and she did not want that.
Her unwillingness did not seem to affect Gibbs at all. He firmly moved her forward on his lap. She kicked her feet a little, desperate to keep touching the floor. The position that she was now in only allowed her to keep the very tips of her toes on the floor and that was only with trying. She dreaded what would happen when the spanking would force her focus to be elsewhere. She knew that keeping her current precarious position would be next to impossible.
I will feel just like a little child if I cannot touch the floor, she determined sadly.
This whole business of being disciplined was rather disheartening on her end.
"You comfortable?" Gibbs asked.
"No!" Ziva protested, her head snapping up as she tried to look Gibbs in the face. It was difficult to do given her current position.
"What's the matter?"
"My legs cannot touch the floor!"
"That's good."
"No, it is not!" Ziva argued nervously. It was starting to hurt her neck holding it up this way.
Gibbs patted her back. "If you can touch the ground, I'm pretty sure you'll wiggle out of position and possibly get hurt if I spank you in the wrong area if you move suddenly. You are in the right position for a spanking, like it or not."
"I do not like it!"
"I don't know anybody who does. Just try to relax a little, Ziver. I know it is hard to do but the spanking will be fast and over soon. I'm not going to ask you as many questions this time, but if at any point you feel like you cannot emotionally take any more, tell me. Understand?"
"Yes," Ziva said gloomily, dropping her head down at last. She had a good view of Gibbs' shoes and the basement floor.
"Anything you want to say before we begin?"
"I do not like it!"
"I know, Zi, I know. Anything else?"
"How ..." She paused shyly, worried that the question she wanted to ask would make her sound weak or aggravate Gibbs.
"'How' what?"
"How ... many spanks are you giving me?"
"Like I said last time, a certain number of spanks does not guarantee fair discipline. I only told you last time since it was your first time. I can tell you that this time will be a little harder and longer but nothing beyond what I believe is manageable for you or appropriate under the circumstances."
I do not want to manage any spanks at all!
"You, Ziva David, are getting a spanking for lying to me, Ducky, and Jenny. I'm disappointed in your actions, young lady. I know that you can do better and that's what I'm trying to help you learn. Now, take a deep breath, Little One."
She did, just in time to gasp when the first SPANK! landed on her bottom.
Ziva hated that she had just involuntarily reacted to the spanking already and gritted her teeth.
SPANK!
SPANK!
The stinging had now begun and staying on her tip toes was difficult.
SPANK!
SPANK!
"Why are you being spanked?"
Ziva paused, trying to catch her breath and to formulate her answer.
"Because ..." She paused, frowning a little as the spanks sunk in and she felt the sting. She tried to wiggle backwards a little so that her feet would touch the floor but ...
SPANK!
"Ziva, I asked you a question. You need to answer," Gibbs said sternly, tightening his hold around her waist to stop her wiggling.
"Because I lied!" Her voice had come out a little more shaky that she would have wanted but she had still answered.
"Good girl. Thank you for answering."
SPANK!
SPANK!
For some reason, this time the spanks hurt more. Perhaps it was because they had already reached eight spanks - the point where Gibbs had stopped last time - and Gibbs did not seem to be finishing up yet. Perhaps it was because it was due to her fever having increased her pain perception. Perhaps it was because her adrenaline levels were lower than during the first spanking from Gibbs. And perhaps it was because she felt more guilty over this incident than last time. It was hard to be sure. All she knew was that she thoroughly hated being spanked and that she just wanted it to be over!
...
Gibbs had felt her trying to wiggle away from him when he had asked her to answer the question. He had trapped her firmly and kept her from any more escape techniques. Now he was pausing before continuing the spanking. With his experience, he could tell that this spanking was hurting more than last time. He was spanking a little harder but it was not unduly hard. It was a little less firm than he would use on Abby for the same length of spanking. He settled on the fact that Ziva was processing this one more. He had asked her to recall why she was being spanked, but aside from that he could tell from the wiggling and stiffening that she was fully present.
SPANK!
She squirmed that time, pushing with her feet as much as possible.
"Stay still, Ziva. Now, is lying about your health something that you are going to do again?"
"No," she whimpered.
"Good answer."
He tilted her forward with his knee and raised his hand again, aiming for her sit spots.
SPANK! SPANK!
...
Ziva could not help it - she gasped out loud as the sharp sting settled in to the most tender spots on her bottom. She could not help kicking out but Gibbs' expert tilt of her over his knee had removed all access to the floor.
SPANK!
The center of her bottom stung like crazy. Aside from the sting, there was an underlying pain all over her bottom as the whole area had started to throb.
"No more lying, young lady."
"I am sorry!" She said the bitter words which seemed less poisonous when said to Gibbs than when she had been forced to say them to her biological father over the years. The sincerity of her apology was dubious as it was given under duress but perhaps Gibbs would have mercy and immediately stop the punishment. Ziva hardly dared to hope, but Gibbs rested his hand against her back. It was a small sign of hope that the punishment was almost over.
"Good girl. What you did was very naughty but we all still love you. No more lying and breaking the rules. Understood?"
"I understand," Ziva quavered.
"Hold still. We are almost done."
He bent her forward a little bit more, then continued.
SPANK!
Her right sit spot felt like it had been set aflame.
SPANK!
Her left sit spot tingled with an identical sharp sting.
SPANK!
The middle of her bottom once again felt the strong pain of correction.
Then suddenly she caught the words - "All done. We're all done, Ziver."
...
Gibbs took a deep breath himself as Ziva squirmed helplessly during the final three spanks. She had received nearly double the number of spanks as her first time, but he was proud of how well she had taken it. He just hoped that now that it was over that she would learn from the experience and be able to move on with her life.
"Shh shh," he said soothingly. She was not actually crying but her breathing was heavier and he figured that the common child-calming technique would help reach through her post-spanking fog and tap into memories of her mother's love.
If her body's relaxation was anything to go by, it was working.
...
Ziva felt her body begin to relax as she remained bent over Gibbs' knee. She realized that the spanking was done but she was not quite as desperate to get away from him as she had been the first time. She did try to stand up, but her feet were still lifted up enough that it was difficult to do so.
Gibbs seemed to understand her struggle and slowly helped lift her to her feet.
"You gonna be good?" he asked, rubbing a little circle on her should as he continued to hold her up while she regained her balance and emotional control.
Ziva paused, then nodded.
...
Gibbs started to reach out, then paused.
Oh, it hurt his heart to have to be so careful about hugging his kid, but he did not want to scare her.
..
Ziva saw the arms open and then saw Gibbs pause.
He does not want to scare me.
She paused for a moment too before looking up at him with her big brown eyes, moist with unshed tears. She could not lift her arms to reach out, but Gibbs understood her look.
...
She wants me to hug her!
He pulled her forward and into an embrace. Ziva only tolerated the hug for about ten seconds - but at least she had made it that far. Then, embarrassed, she ducked away. But as she turned away from him, he saw the reluctance in her face.
She may be stepping away for her pride, but she wanted for it to last longer.
"Want to head upstairs for a snack before bed?" he offered as an out to her current emotional discomfort.
Ziva nodded, and headed for the stairs.
Gibbs gently stopped her and put his arm around her shoulders.
For now, it was time to move on - together.
"Thanks for the help on the boat, Little One," he said softly, kissing the top of her head as he lead her upstairs.
...
I hope that you enjoyed. It was long ... so bonus point?
Hugs, MM (P.S. Please remember to review if you have a second! I'd love it if you could!)