Author's Notes: Not a lot to say, so I'll just get right to it; we have arts! That's right, there is now official artistic depictions of our three OC Kamikaze Pirates; Umok, Miriam and Harumi, which can be seen on this story's thread on SpaceBattles or on the TVTropes page (Characters)! Now, I'll give fair warning: I've never commissioned art before and I'm very leery about interfering too much with the process, so arts for this story are going to be very much "Depending on the Artist". I AM interested in commissioning other artists for their interpretations of our heroes, if folks are interested in making recommendations, but in general, consider the visuals more of a broad strokes add-on. I have to confess I don't have such a clear picture of my OCs that I could, say, rattle off Miriam's three measurements.

On another topic... it's been suggested to me that I should consider some kind of "crowdfunding" for this story? I mean, I won't lie, between the need to replace my computer before it dies, pay for story arts, even start getting the new One Piece box sets when the post-Time Skip sagas finally start hitting the shelves, I'm kind of feeling a pinch... but at the same time, I really feel guilty even considering the idea so I just... I don't know...

Chapter 18: High Life Heist!

Thunder boomed ominously, and lightning flashed across the cloud-darkened sky, which hung pregnant with menace over a sea that had, minutes ago, been welcoming with bright sunshine. Though the sea stirred restlessly, the winds were currently calm, and thus the crew of the Stormbringer had gathered at the dining table in the ship's galley, huddling beneath the light of the lanterns as they put their wicked minds together.

"Baron Arashi Gunba Sukumvit, lord of Sukumvit Island, will be hosting a grand gala in celebration of both his twenty-third birthday and his recent promotion to the rank of Commodore in the World Government's Navy..."

Ranma reread the article aloud, then clapped his hands together.

"Alright! So, last chance to change our minds... anybody got a problem with kicking the Navy in the teeth?" Ranma asked, looking around at his crew.

Almost as one, the rest of the Kamikaze Pirates, shook their heads.

"Marines never did anything for me," Miriam declared bluntly.

"I for one relish the chance to tweak the noses of those in power," Kodachi giggled, a mad gleam glittering in her eyes.

"Shampoo enjoy sharpening her claws on Navy scum," the Zoan purred.

"I have no love for the lackies of the World Government," Harumi announced.

"No arguments from me, Ranchan," Ukyo proclaimed.

"Eh, it's something to do," Ryoga shrugged nonchalantly.

"Not really... but we're not going to just rush in this time, right? Remember the last time we crossed paths with the Navy on purpose," Nabiki cautioned them all, before touching her stomach and wincing as she vividly remembered the feeling of literally being sliced open (albeit shallowly) from pelvis to collarbone.

"That's why we're talking it out first," Ranma patiently explained to her. Then he reached out and tapped the newspaper that was laying on the table in front of him, resting his finger right on the article that had drawn their attention earlier.

"So, first things first... you're sure that this Sukumvit Island is our next stop? We'll make it in time?" Ranma asked, looking at Miriam and Harumi as he spoke.

The wotan and the human nodded in unison, though it was Miriam who responded verbally. "That's right, captain; we'll be there in a couple of days, and with this ship's special engine, we don't need to fear poor wind delaying us so much."

"Good; pointless to go if we're late to the party," Ranma muttered.

"Can I just say I'm still kind of confused how people just travel casually around the Grand Line?" Ukyo interjected.

"It's not that surprising. Yeah, we need to use Log Poses instead of compasses, but Eternal Poses are a thing, too. It's really not that different to sailing in the Four Blues," Miriam protested, her pride as a shipwright and a local compelling her to defend her extended homeland.

"Aside from the crazy weather and loony pirates, anyway," Ukyo drawled flatly, to which Miriam could only nod in concession.

"If I may, Captain Ranma darling? I believe my status as the highborn member of this crew offers me a unique perspective on our mission and our methodology," Kodachi suddenly interjected, looking surprisingly serious.

A bemused half-smile on his face, Ranma slowly nodded. "Okay, sure, what's on your mind, Kodachi?"

"Thank you, Captain," Kodachi said, before theatrically clearing her throat with a demure cough.

"Our goal with this raid is twofold; we seek to enhance our reputation, that we might be seen for the proud and mighty pirates we are, and we of course seek to profit by plundering from those who can easily afford to spare it. This affects our potential approaches; openly attacking the Commodore's party will certainly earn us a reputation for boldness, but will give us little time to plunder depending on how fierce the defenses are. At the same time, whilst we could readily sneak in and rob the Commodore blind only to be away with the booty before he wakes the next morning from his drunken stupor, such would do little to impress our might upon the Navy. Are you with me so far?"

She glanced around the table, and was met with a chorus of nods and affirmative mutters.

"Therefore, I propose that we take the middle road, and infiltrate the party by disguising ourselves as guests, only to then rob the place openly when the time is right. It poses some risk, but it is the one path that maximizes both reputation and plunder," Kodachi declared, folding her hands together and peering over her templed fingers in a pose that she would forever deny having stolen from Neon Genesis Evangelion.

Muttering arose from the assembled teens, before Ranma spoke up. "Sounds like a plan to me... but how are we supposed to do that? It's not like they'll just let anybody into a party like this, right?"

Kodachi smiled, before glancing over at their native crewmates. "Harumi? Miriam? How thoroughly documented are the aristocratic lineages of the Grand Line?"

They both looked equally surprised, sharing confused looks before Miriam beckoned for Harumi to speak first.

"I...This is not my field of expertise, Lady Kodachi, but to the best of my knowledge, nobody knows how many royal families or aristocratic lineages exist in the Grand Line. There are thousands, maybe tens of thousands, of different islands, and each island is usually its own sovereign nation. Multi-island societies are only found in the Four Blues." The crossdressing swordsman shrugged.

"Not to mention that the World Government and the Navy generally only bother to keep track of the nations who are formally allied to them. I doubt anyone save the dustiest and stuffiest bean counters know anything approaching a decent number of the nonaligned nations," Miriam added.

"Y'know, that's something that's always bugged me... Why is there such a thing as unaffiliated nations anyway? Does the World Government really let islands just rule themselves?" Ranma interjected.

"It's a scam, is what it is. You can only be part of the World Government if you agree to either pay a yearly bribe, what they call the 'Celestial Tribute', or if you turn your nation into an institute for the Navy, effectively forgoing your independence to be a Naval outpost in everything but name," Miriam scowled darkly.

"The Celestial Tribute is said to cost millions of Beries every year, all of it to support the lifestyle of the Celestial Dragons in the Holy City of Mariejois. And all you get in return is the fact that the Navy might show up to protect you from pirates... but everyone knows how much they care depends on how important you are to the World Government, which generally means you have to pay more money. But if you don't pay, then you have to depend on your own personal defenses against the pirates who plague these waters - a private navy, hired mercenaries, even a single elite warrior or a powerful Devil Fruit user, in some cases," Harumi added grimly.

"Which explains why those murders on Shay-Lot were such a big deal," Ryoga noted suddenly.

Miriam nodded in recognition. "Yeah... most sane pirates hear 'island of giants' and choose to look elsewhere. So if somebody was actually coming to our island to pick deadly fights with us? We were entirely on our own..."

Impulsively, Harumi reached up and gently laid a hand on Miriam's in a comforting gesture. She glanced at him in surprise, and he blushed before snatching his hand away again.

"Well, if that's the case, then an easy path is presented to us. We shall present ourselves to Commodore Sukumvit as Lord and Lady Kuno, of the unaffiliated Black Rose Kingdom," Kodachi proudly declared.

'Uh oh...' Ranma's hackles rose and an icy chill ran down his spine. Instinctively, he looked over at Ukyo and Shampoo, and watched as they directed unamused looks at Kodachi.

'...Weird, why does Nabiki have the same expression?' he wondered in a brief, almost manic stray thought.

"Oh, really? And just why do you get to claim to be Ranchan's wife, hmm?" Ukyo drawled dryly.

"Simple. Of us all, I alone was born to the ranks of the nobility. To put it bluntly, this is my world we shall be entering; I am best suited to guide us to the completion of our mission," the Kuno heiress purred, buffing her nails on her shirt.

"That may be true, but no explain why you get to claim Ranma as yours," Shampoo bluntly retorted.

"Well, my dear, allow me to explain... given our unique crew composition, we could easily pass ourselves off as young debutantes hoping to find attractive prospects at this gala - I assure you, there will be many young noblewomen attending this party specifically for that purpose. But as our darling Ranma wishes to earn a greater reputation for his male form, it behooves him to attend this heist in said form. And the most believable reason for why a young noblewoman such as myself would be traveling unescorted by chaperones in the presence of a dashing, handsome young man like Ranma is if we are already wed in holy matrimony," Kodachi cooed, smiling dreamily to herself at something only she could see.

Despite the promise they had made to him, Ranma tensed instinctively, readying himself for the explosion of outrage, whether in the form of a vehement argument or a full-scale brawl. He was quite surprised when the other Nerima girls seemed to accept Kodachi's explanation, visibly settling down. Neither Ukyo nor Shampoo seemed happy with it, but they didn't protest the logic of her words, either.

'...Could they have actually meant what they said that night?' Ranma wondered privately to himself.

"For a Kuno, you certainly don't miss many tricks," Nabiki noted, legitimately amused.

"Indeed... of course, whilst myself and Ranma have obvious roles, that means we must find suitable roles for all of you, as our personal courtiers," Kodachi observed.

"You mean handmaidens?" Nabiki retorted, raising an eyebrow.

"Oh, that role is certainly open, Miss Tendo, but I would suggest that we have a broader array of servants in attendance... for example, Miss Kuonji, how do you feel about being our private chef?"

Ukyo grumbled wordlessly, but rubbed her chin as she visibly thought it over. "Fancy do like that... always room for another cook, and nobody pays any attention to the help..."

"Precisely! With your family style's obvious roots in ninjutsu, you are the perfect choice for such a stealth-oriented role!" Kodachi assured her.

"...You're flattering me. I know you are. But I'm gonna take it anyway," Ukyo announced, smirking at the praise.

"What about Shampoo? What role you have for Shampoo?" The Chinese Amazon interjected.

Surprisingly, Kodachi winced. "Ah. There is a slight problem... I fear that you are perhaps the most recognizable of us. You may not have your own bounty, yet, but surely the Navy would be aware that our captain travels with a bunny-girl. You... may need to stay behind, to avoid giving the ruse away."

"Shampoo not let airen go into danger alone!" The Amazon zoan snarled, ears flattening against her skull as she pounded the table with her first. Fortunately, Shay-Lot lumberwork prized durability above all else, so she merely thumped the table as opposed to smashing it.

"Couldn't she just splash herself with hot water before we go? Attend in her original form?" Ukyo pointed out.

"Whilst that would remove the distinctive ears, the face underneath does remain recognizable," Kodachi replied gently.

By this point, Shampoo's ears were drooping listlessly as the Amazon bowed her head, looking almost on the verge of tears. Her bestial hearing appendages twitched as Ranma suddenly snapped his fingers, and she looked up at her accidental fiance, who seemed very pleased with himself.

"What if we go the other way? Yeah, Shampoo is one in a million, but who's going to look twice at a pet rabbit?" Ranma suggested.

Kodachi's eyes went wide, and she slowly nodded. "Yes... yes! That would work!"

"Then Shampoo sneak into party that way. Must keep airen safe," the Amazon declared staunchly, nodding to herself at the sentiment.

"Wait a moment; if Shampoo's a potential risk, then isn't Miriam one too? No offense, but there's not that many four meter tall shark-girls in the world," Nabiki pointed out.

"That is a legitimate issue... but, on the other hand, Miriam has only been with us a short time, whereas Shampoo has been with us since we first began battling with the Navy. It is possible that she is not yet known to the Navy, and she would make a very credible bodyguard," Kodachi responded politely.

"What about me? What am I supposed to disguise myself as?" Ryoga interjected.

"Well, you'd make a perfectly credible butler, I suppose," Kodachi mused.

"You mean, take orders from Ranma?! No chance in hell!" Ryoga spat in disgust.

"Well, it's that or be one of my ladies-in-waiting!" An irked Kodachi shot back.

"Fine, then I'll do that! Can't possibly be worse than having to take orders from Ranma!" Ryoga proclaimed, giving an exaggerated shudder at the thought.

Ranma bit his lip, though even he wasn't sure if it was to hold back an angry outburst or a laugh at Ryoga being so stupid.

"So, that leaves just the two of you... Miss Tendo, you will, of course, be our majordomo..."

"I accept your proposal. Between the two of us, we should be able to keep Ranma from making too big of a scene before we're ready to strike," Nabiki declared, nodding her head sagely.

"Hey!" Ranma protested instinctively.

"That just leaves you, Harumi... um..." Here, Kodachi's confidence waned, and she bit her lip in a very rare gesture of hesitation.

"My best clothes are all dresses, so I fear I shall have to play the role of a handmaiden," Harumi patiently replied, smiling gently as he did so.

"I am sorry," Kodachi began.

"Don't worry, lady Kodachi. I'm quite used to it," Harumi assured her.

"Sounds like we have the start of a plan! Now, let's polish it," Ranma declared authoritatively.

The rest of the Kamikazes leaned in, eager to begin discussing how they could pull off this heist, even as the rain began to pour down on their ship...

Several hours later...

Ukyo looked at the small table and its ominous array of beakers, bottles, burners, mortars, pestles and other chemical working tools, and nodded approvingly. "You know your explosives - this is a pretty good set up."

"Thank you, miss Kuonji; it's a family skill," Kodachi proudly replied.

"So, what do you need me for? Looks like you know all there is to making bombs..."

"Oh, conventional explosives, and dispersants for my paralysis and sleeping powders, yes. But adding waterproofing, and a timing mechanism? Either one would be complex, but combined? So I thought I would avail myself of your own expertise," Kodachi explained.

Ukyo nodded sagely to herself. "Well, it's not something I've really ever focused on before, but I think I might have some ideas... what made you come up with this sub-plan, anyway?"

"Oh, I have every confidence that we can defeat the Marines stationed on Sukumvit Island - what challenge have they offered us so far? But it never hurts to give beneficent fate a helping hand..." the Kuno heiress purred.

"Hey, I'm all for it - besides, blowing up the ships could actually be our signal to start robbing those jerks at the party. The Marines will naturally swarm to where the explosions are happening in the harbor, right? So that means they'll be looking away from where we actually are!" Ukyo grinned maliciously at the thought, a sentiment that Kodachi echoed with one of her trademark hysterical cackles.

"Oh, I love it! And the irony is, given there probably are Devil Fruits with powers of concealment, naval doctrine would naturally emphasize looking for an external threat first! Oh, miss Kuonji, I like the way you think!"

"So, what are you thinking for bomb construction?" Ukyo asked, taking another look at Kodachi's workbench.

All business now, Kodachi stepped over to the bench and began to point to various bricabrac as she spoke.

"Well, the most obvious foundation would be small kegs or barrels stuffed with an explosive compound and sealed with pitch for waterproofing, perhaps adding some metallic shrapnel for greater penetrative power on the hulls. Remote detonation is the issue... I have plenty of ammonium nitrate and gunpowder-"

"You mean blackpowder?" Ukyo interjected, unable to help herself.

"Surprisingly, no. Despite the guns of this world resembling blackpowder-fueled flintlocks, the propellant they use is much closer to our own modern-day gunpowder," Kodachi patiently explained to her.

"Huh... another anachronism," Ukyo observed absently.

"Something troubling you, dear?" Kodachi asked, glancing over at her partner.

"Ammonium nitrate... that name rings a bell... wait a minute, now I remember!" she snapped her fingers triumphantly.

"Well, don't keep me in suspense," Kodachi playfully chided her.

"A couple of years ago, I spent some time working on a farm whilst I was hunting Ranchan. They mentioned they always had to make sure they kept their fertilizer away from anything combustible, because the fertilizer was full of ammonium nitrate," Ukyo explained.

At her words, Kodachi's eyes widened in realization. "Yes... Yes! Its basic chemistry - ammonium nitrate, when distilled into a liquid form, is a natural oxidiser. If mixed with an organic combustible, spontaneous ignition is guaranteed - and the timing of the ignition can be controlled based on the ratio! I knew asking you to help with this project was a good idea!"

"Well, happy to help," Ukyo chuckled proudly. "And I even know how we can take advantage of this - flour! We've got plenty of the stuff to spare, it mixes well with gunpowder, and it's readily combustible. I'll just grab some out of the galley and we can cook up all the bombs we need. Pun unintended."

"We'll need to conduct some experiments to get the mixture right and use a suitably long 'fuse', as it were, but yes, I believe that this will do nicely," Kodachi tittered with glee.

"I'll just run and grab some flour, and we can get started right away!" Ukyo announced, already striding for the door.

Meanwhile, in Ranma's quarters...

Naked save for a set of boxers and slightly chilly as the last of the cold water slowly evaporated in the lantern light, Ryoga tried not to fidget as Ranma and Harumi busied themselves amongst Ranma's surprisingly expansive closet.

"Why do you even have that many girl's clothes, anyway, Ranma? Bit funny for a guy who insists he's not a pervert," Ryoga grumbled.

"Well, after the Tendo sisters forced me to start wearing girl's clothes because all my real clothes were in the wash, I started losing my sensitivity to crossdressing. Seriously, once you get past the shock of coming to and finding you've been dressed in a transparent negligee outfit courtesy of Nabiki, you get desensitized real quick," Ranma muttered, staring off into the distance at memories only he could see, before snapping back to reality.

"Then there were the jobs, the schemes, the random bits of weirdness and... yeah, I just accumulated the wardrobe over time. I mean, I'd give it all up in a heartbeat to be normal again, but if I gotta look like a girl, then I might as well look like a hot one, right?"

Ryoga grunted non committedly, whilst Harumi suddenly emerged from the dresses portion of Ranma's wardrobe, an outfit clutched in his hands.

"Ah, what about this one? Attractive, well made, but not overly revealing - this could pass for a handmaiden's dress, I believe..."

Ranma peered at the dress in question, rubbing his chin thoughtfully before finally speaking up. "Well, it's not exactly something I prepped for, but I agree. C'mon, let's try it out."

And with that, he deftly plucked the garment from Harumi's unresisting grasp and tossed it at Ryoga. Caught off-guard, the eternally lost girl found the dress wrapping itself around her face like a silken cobra. Swearing in muffled profanities, Ryoga flailed and eventually unwrapped it, holding it out between forefinger and thumb like a housewife with a dead rat. Ryoga looked at the dress long and hard, then looked over at Ranma with equal intensity.

'...I can't back out now. Butlering for Ranma? I'd rather wear a dress any day! It's got to be less humiliating!'

Resolve steeled, Ryoga began trying the dress on. Which immediately raised its own issues...

"Oh, come on, seriously?! How am I supposed to go to a fancy party in this?! It's so short it barely covers my thighs, and it pinches my chest!" the newly minted sexshifter complained.

"Well, what d'ya expect when yer so freakishly tall for a girl?!" Ranma grumbled right back in response.

"Aside from those issues, do you have any particular problems with that outfit?" Harumi suddenly interjected, cutting off the impending fight.

"Uh... well, no?" a confused Ryoga replied.

"Then allow me to amend them. I promise they'll be ready before we arrive on Sukumvit Island in three days."

"Works for me... so, we done here?" Ryoga asked, yanking the dress off with relief.

"Not yet - a dress is a good start, but we still need accessories," Harumi cheerfully chirped, causing Ryoga to groan in frustration.

One day later...

"Um... Captain Ranma?"

Ranma looked up from the bowl of tropical fruit salad that he had grabbed as a light snack with a curious expression. "What is it, Harumi?"

"I haven't seen Miriam all day... Do you think she's alright? She seemed a little... down... yesterday," Harumi sighed, looking forlornly in the vague direction of the wotan's room.

"Really? I didn't notice anything," a bemused Ranma responded.

"She was trying to hide it, but I know what I saw. I grew up around women, I know how they think," Harumi insisted.

"Well, if you're worried about her, why not go talk to her? Why come to me?" the confused captain asked, only to blink as Harumi suddenly blushed bright red in embarrassment.

"Oh, I couldn't be so forward! It wouldn't be appropriate - you're the captain, though, it's alright for you to take an interest in the welfare of your crew! Please, Captain?" Harumi pleaded, looking at Ranma with a sad-eyed, hopeful expression.

Ranma bit back a sigh, glanced at what little was left of his salad, and crudely shoveled every last scrap of fruit into his mouth.

"Awrigh, awrigh, Ah'll do't," he muttered through bulging cheeks, frantically chewing through the load even as he stood up.

"Thank you, captain!" Harumi chirped gleefully.

"Honestly, though; if you like her, just tell her! What's the worst that could happen?" Ranma muttered to him as he headed off.

"I will, I will - I'm just waiting for the right time!" Harumi protested, but Ranma was already stepping through the door, leaving the blushing swordsman behind.

Moments afterwards...

'Sheesh, I dunno how he expects to get anywhere with her if he's gonna dance around it forever... guy likes a girl, he should be decisive! Seize the day and tell her how he feels! Ah, well, he can't help where he grew up...I'd be messed up in the head too, with a family like that. Lemme see... yeah, this is her door.'

"Coming in! Miriam, you got a moment to talk?" Ranma called out, even as he opened the door and stepped inside without hesitation.

The wotan looked up bemusedly from where she was lounging on her bed; a massive heap of pillows, bedding and furs that the tiger shark-girl sprawled atop like a dragon on its hoard. She said... something, to Ranma, but her cheek currently bulged out obscenely, and her words were understandably too slurred to easily decipher.

A confused Ranma stared at her, before finally asking the question that was burning him up. "...Where did you find a giant jawbreaker?"

The wotan promptly spat out a cannonball onto the floor. Drenched in saliva and visibly scraped to an almost pearlescent sheen, it rolled across the floor and came to a halt just shy of Ranma's boot. Blushing faintly, Miriam wiped her mouth with the back of her wrist, then repeated her initial query.

"Captain Ranma? What's up?"

"Just checking on my crew, like a good captain should... I hear you've been feeling blue?" Ranma asked her, after taking a moment to literally shake off what he'd seen.

She gave him a look that was half puzzled, half amused smirk. Ranma blinked, before his choice of words sank in.

"Ah, pun unintended," he assured her, grinning sheepishly and rubbing the back of his head.

"Comments on my skin color aside... I'm fine, captain, really," Miriam assured him.

"Are you sure? Because now that I think about it, you hardly ate anything at breakfast, and you skipped lunch... that's not like you," Ranma pointed out.

Now the wotan blushed, face purpling as the red clashed with her bluish-grey skin. "M-Maybe I just wasn't hungry!"

With perfect comedic timing, Miriam's stomach growled like an angry beast, the deep gurgling noise of a too-empty gullet protesting its lack of sustenance audible from feet away. Ranma just stared coolly at his much larger crewmate, who blushed even deeper before scowling at her own belly.

"Little traitor..." she muttered to herself.

"Okay, y'know, I was going to just drop this, because I thought it was nothing, but something really is bugging you. C'mon, Miriam, spill it; you got second thoughts about this heist?" Ranma asked, folding his arms across his chest in an unconscious imitation of his father and Soun Tendo.

"Not as such, no. I trust your plans and our abilities, Captain. It's just... I'm not looking forward to being the ugly duckling, is all," Miriam explained, sighing forlornly and staring out the porthole at the sea beyond.

"The... ugly duckling?" A confused Ranma repeated, head tilted to the side as he stared at her.

"You know, the ugly girl? The one girl who all the others are laughing at behind their hands because they know she's the plainest one there?" Miriam explained patiently.

"What?! Why would you think that they'd treat you like that?" an appalled Ranma protested.

The wotan simply scoffed. "I'll give you three good reasons. One... two... three."

As she counted aloud, she first held up one arm and flexed her bicep, a knot of muscle easily the size of Ranma's fist bulging proudly as she pointed to it. Then she grabbed her pot-belly and grimly pinched the excess flesh between forefingers and thumb. Finally, she bared her shark-like teeth in a wide, mocking smile and pointed to them with both index fingers, before she abandoned the smile for a sullen frown and lowered her hands back into her lap.

"Don't worry, Captain; it won't affect my work! It's just... personal," she assured him.

"...Okay, maybe you're a little buffer than the average girl, an' I know girls can be kind of sensitive about their weight, but... what's wrong with your teeth? I think you got better dental hygiene than I do!" the confused captain blurted out.

"...I meant that I'm a fishman, Captain. You guys may be weirdly cool with it, but lots of humans won't be, and trust me, that tends to be double for noble-folks and Navy officials," Miriam painstakingly elaborated.

"...But that's stupid!" Ranma protested childishly, eliciting a dark chuckle from the tiger shark-girl.

"Preaching to the choir."

"Well, I think you're a perfectly pretty lady; I know for a fact that there'll be somebody who wants to dance with you before we hold the place up," Ranma confidently declared.

'And if he doesn't ask you first, I'll make him,' he mentally vowed.

Miriam tilted her head, giving Ranma a quizzical expression, before her eyes suddenly went wide.

"C-Captain! I'm flattered, really, but I'm not interested! I-I mean, you're cute and all, but I would never dream of getting between you and... whatever it is you have going on with the other girls, honestly!" she protested, hands held up in warding gestures.

Ranma's initial quizzical expression quickly melted into one of shocked realization, making it his turn to wave a hand in frantic gestures of denial.

"Whoa, whoa, I didn't mean me! I meant Harumi!" he blurted out.

'Sorry, buddy, but I got enough girl troubles without adding more to the mix!'

The wotan's face went through a series of expressions, too quick even for Ranma to follow, before settling on a carefully blank one. "Oh, captain... you didn't need to lie to me, I already promised you, this won't affect my work."

"Who's lying?" Ranma asked, slightly offended.

"Harumi? Attracted to me? Captain, I'm well aware he's out of my league," Miriam replied, a faint tinge of irritation under-coloring her words at this point.

"...How does that even remotely make sense? Come to think of it, how the heck is Harumi even remotely your type? I can see why he thinks you're a catch... but shouldn't you be more into big ogre-type guys? Y'know, guys made out of slabs of muscle and fat, with beards you could hide a bear in?" an incredulous Ranma asked.

"What's that supposed to mean?!" Miriam protested, looking equal parts surprised and indignant.

"Okay, no, that's it, I'm drawing the line here - I am the last guy who should be giving romantic advice! You and Harumi, you two sort yourselves out; so long as you don't break the ship doing it, I don't care!" Ranma snapped, throwing up his arms in surrender before spinning on his heel and storming out of the wotan's quarters, leaving Miriam blinking in confusion at the speed with which he withdrew.

Whilst all this was going on...

Shampoo looked up as a knocking came from her quarter's doors. "Enter!"

The door swung open to reveal the floating form of Umok, trails of chartreuse smoke swirling around his battered hat. "You wanted to see me?"

"Shampoo did. Come in, and close door," the Chinese Amazon ordered him.

The imp did as he was instructed, drifting silently over to float just beyond arm's length from Shampoo. "Alright then, what did you want?"

"Shampoo need to talk to you about Devil Fruit powers," Shampoo quietly replied.

A staccato flurry of eyelid flickers, the imp's equivalent of shocked blinking, resulted from her words. Gently, he reached up and removed his cigar with forefinger and thumb, staring into Shampoo's eyes all the while. "...You do remember that I am as new to these Devil Fruit as you are, right?"

"Shampo know that! But, you is still only one of us here who know much about magic," she pointed out in response.

Umok frowned, then stuck his cigar back in his mouth and sucked on it for a few moments, before lazily expelling a thick plume of lavender-colored smoke. "Fair enough. So, what's bugging you, bunny-cat?"

"Shampoo been trying to figure out how to change from cabbit to girl without losing clothes. Umok have any suggestions?"

The imp's cigar traced a glowing figure eight as he rolled it in his mouth before he spoke. "...Why do you care?"

"Because Shampoo rather not be naked in front of whole crowd of strangers?" came the flat response.

"Hasn't stopped you before," Umok lazily drawled in response.

"Was emergency. Shampoo still rather not run around nude in public. Have pride to consider."

"Fair enough... Well, most voluntary polymorphic magics of my experience usually have a component to allow for some degree of clothing shifting... how did you figure out that your Zoan abilities included that trait?"

"Shampoo didn't. Shampoo just hoping maybe Umok could magic Shampoo's panties," the Amazon zoan bluntly replied.

The imp nearly dropped out of the sky, catching himself mere inches from the floor in his version of a facefault. "I-I see! Well, we obviously have some work to do... hmm... maybe you could try shifting to a more, shall we say, naturally modest form?"

Shampoo blinked in confusion. "What you mean?"

"Well, the powers of Devil Fruits are admittedly still largely a mystery to us both, but the Zoan fruit's powers are defined as the ability to assume a creature's form, or a hybrid form, correct?" Umok asked, holding up an extended index finger.

"Is true," Shampoo nodded.

"Well, 'hybrid' is a rather broad term. Perhaps with sufficient focus and training, you can modify your transformed form - for example, covering up your skin with a modesty-preserving coat of fur?" Umok suggested, all three eyes fixed on Shampoo.

The Chinese Amazon tapped her lips, humming wordlessly to herself as she considered the imp's words. "Is making sense to Shampoo..."

"Of course, it may be that you can also learn to assimilate clothes into your fur and vice-versa. The only way to know is to try both, and with only two days before we arrive, there isn't much time to explore both avenues," Umok observed.

Once again, Shampoo nodded. "Is so. Shampoo focus on trying to master clothes-shifting, then."

"...Seriously? Why not explore the modularity of your transformations?" Umok asked.

"Like you say, no is much time. Learn how to make clothes stay with Shampoo simpler. Besides, Shampoo no think Ranma like furry girls," the Amazon declared bluntly.

"...What's more important? Not being the hottest girl on the ship for a few minutes, or letting a bunch of total strangers see you in your birthday suit?" An incredulous Umok demanded.

"That not even deserve an answer," Shampoo primly declared, before giving the imp a pleading look.

"Umok stay with Shampoo? Maybe help Shampoo figure out how to train this way?"

"Huh. Well, I had no particular plans... I'm probably going to stay behind and keep the ship under watch whilst you make your raid anyway... sure, why not?"

Last day before arriving at Sukumvit Island...

With the Stormbringer officially only a day's travel from Sukumvit Island, and the weather calm and peaceful, the Kamikaze Pirates had collectively retreated to their quarters, each instinctively seeking to be alone with their thoughts as they made their final preparations for their impending assault.

In Ranma's room...

Naked from the waist up, Ranma furiously put himself through a shadow-boxing workout, sweat glistening in the light that snuck into his room through the porthole. Fists and feet flew as he pushed himself to his limit, striking at speeds that a cobra would envy in an impossibly fluid combination of blows, blocks and parries. Finally, even Ranma's stamina reached its limit, and he stopped with one final punch, whole body shivering as he panted for breath.

'Man, this ain't as good as it was with that magic incense... then again, that stupid shadow clone got me into so much trouble, so maybe it ain't worth it...'

He wiped his brow with the back of his wrist, then reached out for a convenient towel to start rubbing the worst of the perspiration from his skin.

'Tomorrow's the big day... Damn it all, I don't know what I was thinking, pushing for this... but I can't turn back now, either.'

Dry enough now, he flopped down onto his bed, sighing hugely and staring up at the ceiling.

'Why am I doing this? I'm not a pirate! So why do I care what kind of reputation the Navy gives me?'

'Oh, who am I kidding? I care because in this world, I have a chance to define my own reputation for once. Back in Nerima, I was screwed from the get-go; "Ranma Saotome, heir to the Anything Goes School of Martial Arts"? Pfah! It meant I was the heir to a school for losers and weirdos, founded by a panty-stealing boob-groping butt-fondling old pervert and carried on by a wannabe con-artist and a... well, whatever you'd call Mr. Tendo. I was the school freak who turned into the resident bombshell. Not a reputation I wanted. But here... I can be respected. I can be my own man!'

'But... that don't mean I'm gonna lose sight of what's important. These jerks on this ship, they're my friends. I'm not gonna let them get hurt because of my ego. I won't!'

Holding his hand up to the sky, he clenched it into a fist.

In Ryoga's room...

Wearing his female form, Ryoga stared into the small mirror he had allowed himself as a personal vanity, taking in his altered appearance.

'It's weird... It's been days since I made the change, but it's still so alien to look into a mirror and not see me staring back. I know it'll fade, I went through this with the pig already, but at least it's still a human face looking at me! Honestly, surprised it's still bugging me... but then, I haven't been spending that much time as a girl...'

Tilting his head to look at another angle, Ryoga reached up and took a stray lock of hair between forefinger and thumb.

'Blonde. Why blonde? No blondes in my family tree! Then again, why does Ranma become a redhead? Hm... maybe the girl who drowned in the spring was a Chinese Amazon, so exotic hair colors are part of the curse? Ah well, at least the rest of me looks... well, sort of like me. Like how Ranma still looks kind of like Ranma if you pay attention.'

'Big debut of the new me... should have known Ranma would find an excuse to make me go out in public as a girl. Well, joke's on him; I'm not going to run! I said what I meant and I meant what I said; compared to the torments of being a pig, being a girl will be like heaven on earth! I'll show him by crushing it at this heist, just you wait and see, Ranma!'

Defiantly sticking out his jaw, Ryoga placed the mirror down before hopping up from his bed and picking up the dress Harumi had finished tailoring for the Eternally Lost Boy's new female form. Courage bolstered by spite, Ryoga threw the dress on, then took a few experimental steps back and forth around the room, swishing his hems as he went.

'...Huh. Lot less uncomfortable than I expected. Honestly, this is actually kind of nice... Is this what Ranma was talking about when he said the curse was weirder than I thought?'

In Nabiki's room...

A very unusual sound echoed through the personal quarters of Nabiki Tendo; sharp breathing and soft feminine grunts of exertion. The source? None other than Nabiki herself, twisting and turning as she punched, kicked, blocked and dodged in her best attempt to emulate one of Ranma's personal katas. Suddenly, she stopped sharply, curling both of her hands into fists.

"Kachu Tenshin Amaguriken!"

Her hands erupted into a two-fisted volley of supersonic punches, pummeling an invisible target hundreds of times in the span of heartbeats. Then she stopped, one fist still extended, panting desperately for air, sweat rolling in rivers down her face and making her skin glisten in the ambient light. With the sluggishness of the totally exhausted, she lowered her outstretched arm and then sat down heavily on a nearby chair.

'Holy crap, I still can't believe I can do this... Akane would go nuts to see she's not the only martial artist in the family anymore! ...I wonder what she'd take worse; me, learning martial arts? Or me, making a move on Ranma?'

Nabiki frowned to herself, but having been thought, the treacherous little mindworm that was guilt was in no hurry to leave the comforts of her head.

'It's not my fault that she never had the courage to try anything! We practically gift-wrapped Ranma for her, all she had to do was reach out and take him! But nooo, she had to be the stubborn little tsundere, just take it for granted that he'd always be there waiting for her to finally get her act together! Well, tough, little sister; sometimes, if you squander an opportunity, you regret it!'

'...Listen to me; you'd almost think I was genuinely interested in Ranma for myself...'

'...Well, why shouldn't I be? He's not perfect, but I could do so much worse for a boyfriend! It's not like daddy would disapprove and, well, he's certainly a better choice than marrying a guy like myself... and, if this pirate thing works out, he'll even be pretty loaded too, which has always been one of the big reasons not to hook up with him. Hmm... thoughts for later. Right now, I need to focus on getting through this heist with my head intact. Ranma should be able to beat up anybody who might try to stop us, but it always pays to be prepared.'

'I have to admit... there are times this pirate thing is a lot more fun than swindling Kuno out of money for supposed cheesecake shots...'

In Kodachi's room...

Kodachi sat at her desk, fingers deftly working needle and thread as she busily sewed away. 'A few more stitches and... perfect! The Flag of the Black Rose Kingdom is now complete!'

She held her creation up to the light, admiring the play on its design; a writhing tangle of green vines dotted with crimson thorns on a blue background, capped with eight blooming, black-petaled roses; two at the tangle's heart and rising above the rest, the other six in orbit. And, if one looked very closely, a human skull could just be made out at the heart of the tangle, having been overgrown from within by the billowing vines.

She burst out laughing, cackling with glee at her own cleverness.

'My finest work! A flag to symbolize the nation that we will someday have, and yet which also secretly honors our crew - not that those Navy fools will realize it until tis too late! Oh, Ranma darling... I have oft resented attending such galas and soirees, surrounding myself with vapid cronies and empty-headed fools who believed that looks and lineage were all that defined their worth. Well, tomorrow, we shall strike a blow against such fools and show them who the true king and queen of the seas shall be!'

Her laughter trailed off before she smiled wistfully to herself. 'How strange... This is not how I pictured that trinket helping me to free myself from the shackles of my old life, but yet, I cannot complain. It is not ideal, but this is a far cry from the boredom that so colored my life in Nerima... Brother dear may have been content to dwell amidst the glories of our ancestors, but I always chafed under such trivialities - that is partly why I was drawn to Ranma in the first place! So bold, so vibrant, and yet so kind and gentle... Oh, Ranma, I know that we are but pretending for a ruse, yet I hope you will see how happy we can be together!'

'This raid must go off without a hitch. The greater our prize, the more favor with which my beloved shall view me, and the closer I shall finally come to his heart!'

She sighed blissfully and hugged herself tightly, wrapping her arms around her lithe frame and letting visions of a pirate's wedding fill her mind's eye, losing herself in the dream.

In Shampoo's room...

'I must confess, I would rather be on my beloved Ranma's arm in my human form and receive the envy that I deserve for having such a fine husband... but I suppose being literally in his arms through the entire party will suffice for now...'

Shampoo sat in the traditional meditative pose, eyes closed and ears twitching as she slowly inhaled and exhaled. She was clad only in what amounted to a glorified bikini, the two-piece outfit hugging her curves, every strap tied as tightly as was possible without being uncomfortable. She inhaled, and turned into a cabbit, still seated in her meditative pose. She held her breath, then exhaled, and became her demibeast self once more... this time, with her clothes still present, as opposed to them having fallen in a heap around her when she shrank.

'I must remember to thank Umok for his insights. Even if I have only proven able to shift skin-tight clothes, at least for now, that will prove enough to make tomorrow less potentially embarrassing. And without his commentary, I never would have considered that my form may be more malleable than I had thought... Admittedly, I cannot prove that it is so, but it is an interesting concept to contemplate.'

'...I could have done without the insinuation I would abuse such abilities to better seduce my husband, though. Admittedly, rabbits are heavily associated with fertility, and a blending of girl and cat does seem to be a widely common fetish in Japan from what I have seen of manga, but how would that even work?'

After a few moments of idle contemplation, Shampoo's eyes suddenly shot open, the zoan looking visibly uncomfortable.

'...I think I'm going to stop thinking about this now. And not just because I started picturing myself with multiple bosoms, either.'

Shaking her head, the Chinese Amazon got up and stretched out her various limbs.

'After all of that... I feel peckish. I think I will go and grab a bite to eat in the galley... hopefully, there will be something other than okonomiyaki available. I will concede that Ukyo is a good cook, but she does tend towards a rather monolithic menu...'

In Ukyo's room...

Ukyo hummed one of her favorite tunes to herself as she busied herself going through her arsenal.

"Let's see... throwing spatulas... check. Ultra-hot spice mix... check. Tempura-gunpowder mix... check. Lengths of specially cooked super-rubbery soba noodles... check. Hm, can I get away with bringing my battle spatula? I think so. Okay, that should do it!"

She triumphantly dusted off her hands and nodded proudly to herself.

"Not gonna lie, I do wish I was going to that party on Ranchan's arm... but, Kodachi is right; she knows how those snooty blue-blood types think best of all of us. Still, Ranchan owes me a dance after we're safely away! Now, what'll I wear...? Just because I'm the cook doesn't mean I can't dress up a little, too!"

On the deck...

The gentle creaking of the ship's wheel as it made minor adjustments blended with the flapping of the sails in the breeze and the lapping of the waves against the ship's hull to form a melody that played in Umok's ears as the imp lazily floated in the air before the steering wheel, hands tucked behind his head as a makeshift pillow.

'Mmm... I'd forgotten how much fun it could be to follow a rookie band of adventurers on their foolishness. This certainly beats holing up in a cave somewhere for a century and meditating! It's only a pity I won't be able to watch whatever trouble they get themselves into first-hand at the party tomorrow... ah, well; at least I recovered enough mana to retrieve my scrying crystal. Watching second-hand is better than nothing...'

In Miriam's room...

The wotan carefully picked up the dress she'd bought on FEmille Island and held it up to her neckline once again, letting the fabric drape down her skin. She had no mirror in her quarters, being too large for them to be practical, but she could at least try to gauge how the garment looked on her. She twisted this way and that, checking herself out from multiple angles, smiling at what she saw.

Then she frowned, and gently hung the dress back up before looking down in the rough direction of her toes. Silently, she reached out and gripped the ever-present bulge of her potbelly with both hands, frowning as she lightly pinched excess skin and fat between her fingers before gently shaking the abundance.

"...Okay, belly, I know we don't always get along, but can we please try and not make a scene tomorrow? I'm already going to stand out for looking like I do, but the last thing I need is to make things worse by making a total pig of myself in front of all those noblewomen and their boytoys! I know it's my own fault I'm like this, because I was the dumb little girl who insisted she could grow up to be proper-sized if she just ate like a real giant, but can we at least try and rein it back? No craving attacks that see me eat the whole buffet, no belches that blow the table over, none of that? Just be good, and once we're away, I'll catch us a sea king and we'll eat the whole thing, deal?"

If this had been a manga, then Miriam's stomach would have audibly responded at that moment, a conveniently timed gurgle, whine or glorp to present the illusion of some kind of conversation. This being reality, it was silent, and she instead simply sighed to herself.

"All these years, and I'm still talking to my stomach like it was alive... I can't believe mom hired that traveling quack to try and psycho-whatsit me. Even if it did help me get the worst of my cravings under control... more or less. Still, I can't let the others find out about this little habit; they'll think I'm nuts!"

She shook her head. "I still can't believe I found a crew like this. They're kind of weird, but they're all so nice to me... though I still can't buy that what the captain said was true. What would Harumi possibly want with a sea-ogress like me?"

In Harumi's room...

Harumi gently slid the oil-soaked cloth rhythmically back and forth across the blade of his katana, Shirohebi, having already completed the act of polishing its wakizashi counterpart, Akaja. Both blades had a uniquely serpentine appearance to match their names; the guard and sheath of each blade had been stylized to appear covered in scales - white for Shirohebi and red for Akaja. Each was capped with a viper's head pommel, whilst the guard was stylized to resemble an open-jawed snake's head. Even the blades of the matched pair of Skillful Grade Blades had been custom forged to enhance their visual similarity to a pair of giant fangs.

'I've always wondered... why, if we are the Crying Willow school, do our sacred family blades have a serpent motif? I must have asked mother a dozen times, but she would never tell me the story... presuming that she knew it herself...' Harumi mused.

Oiling done, he buffed off the last of the oil from Shirohebi's blade before he gently slid it into its sheath.

'Fortunately, I have already tested my wardrobe to prove that it is possible to hide these blades under my dress.. Now it's simply a matter of picking my best to wear.'

The final night before arriving...

The full moon loomed in the sky, lighting up the night. Inky black waves lapped gently against the hull of the Stormbringer, which slowly drifted towards Sukumvit Island, now visible as a smeared shape on the horizon. On the deck, Miriam stood by the gunwale, taking a moment to admire the beauty of the moon against the night sky.

"Lady Miriam? What are you doing up so late?"

The wotan blinked, before turning and, after a moment, remembering to look down. "Oh, hey, Harumi. What are you doing up?"

"My shift as night watchman just started. What about you? And what are you doing with that bag?" He asked, nodding to the large, waterproofed sack at her feet.

"The Captain has a special mission for me! I'm just about to swim ahead to Sukumvit Island and set some time bombs for the Navy ships stationed there. They won't be chasing us tomorrow," she boasted, grinning a terrifyingly toothy grin as she did.

"Swim? On your own?" Harumi asked, glancing nervously into the pitch-black water surrounding the ship.

"Well, yeah! I'm a wotan - I'm faster and scarier than anything in /these/ waters!" she bragged, flexing one arm. "I'll be there and back before you know it!"

"I'll be holding you to that. We can't rob this party tomorrow without you," Harumi chuckled softly.

The wotan let out an incongruous giggle at his words. "Well, that might be the nicest thing you've said to me yet. Now, I better get going. I'll see you at dawn."

And with that, she turned and leapt over the side, slipping into the water with a mighty crash and a fountain of spray that rose so high it rained back down over the too-close Harumi. The crossdressing swordsman squawked in shock, then laughed and shook his head, trying to wring the worst of the salty water from his long, effeminate locks.

Meanwhile...

Lying on his bed with his hands tucked behind his head and his eyes closed, Ranma looked the picture of relaxation. At least, in the opinion of Kodachi Kuno, anyway, who was admittedly somewhat biased. On ninja-quiet feet, she slunk through Ranma's cabin, making not a sound. She stopped her advance only when she was right next to Ranma's bed, reaching out to gently brush her fingertips over her beloved captain's cheek.

Ranma murmured softly, before lazily opening his eyes. Foggy with sleep, they fell listlessly on Kodachi, only to snap back to shocked awareness, focusing on her with the laser-focus of the frightened.

'I suppose at least I should be grateful he didn't scream...' Kodachi sourly reminded herself, before forcing herself to put on a winning smile.

"Ranma, darling? I'm sorry, but we need to talk."

"Mmmph... Kodachi? Can't this wait until morning?" Ranma complained, sounding fully awake and alert, but also clearly wishing not to be.

"I'm afraid not. You see, Ranma, I...I wish to lay beside you, this night," Kodachi explained, blushing softly and averting her eyes in a gesture of meekness that, for once, wasn't being feigned or exaggerated.

"...You want what?" Ranma asked suspiciously.

"My love... I know now that our relationship is a tender young seedling, at this point in time. But tomorrow, you and I will be playing the role of married lovers. It is a role that will depend on our ability to pretend we are comfortable with each other, and that ability is compromised if you can hardly bear me to touch you," Kodachi patiently explained.

"I'm not that bad," Ranma protested feebly.

"My point remains, dear; we need a greater level of mutual trust. We need to be comfortable about walking together, about being seen in each other's arms, about touching one another in public. Neither of us is ready for true carnal intimacy, of course, but if we could just lay here this night and hold each other? Would that not make it easier for you to trust me tomorrow?" Kodachi pleaded with him, lavender eyes soft with a hint of unshed tears.

Ranma stared up at her, mind racing. 'Well... she does have a point... and it's not like we didn't cuddle up as girls back on Warship Island...'

"Alright, we'll do it... but don't go trying to hold this over the other girls, got it?" He warned her.

"As if I would be so crass, my darling!" Kodachi declared, her smile and joyful tone underlying the feigned dismay of her words.

Without further ado, she slipped onto Ranma's bed and lay herself down beside him, draping her arm over his shoulder and cuddling up to him with a soft, blissful sigh. Within moments, she had closed her eyes and, after snuggling in as tight as she could get, seemed to fall asleep.

Ranma just looked at her for a long moment, before finally laying his own head back down and shutting his eyes, joining her in slumber.

Dawn of the raid...

Ranma stood in the ship's galley, wrestling his nerves under control... which was easier said than done, because the anticipation of what they were about to do felt like ants crawling under his skin, nipping at his nerve clusters and making him struggle to hold back the twitch.

'Ain't like this is the first time I've pulled a scheme on somebody, settle down!' he mentally admonished himself. It still didn't stop him instinctively tugging at his shirt collar, though.

Trying to better settle himself, Ranma took a moment to admire his efforts at dressing up. Pieced together from the best clothing he had in his wardrobe, the result definitely had style, at least if you asked him. Somebody with an appropriate level of sartorial expertise would have described the result as a red velvet jacket with braided trim and lace cuffs over a leather vest, puffed white sabot, cropped pants and crimson sash, the ensemble completed with a set of solid, well-polished black leather boots... but Ranma wouldn't have known half of those terms. Ironically, it was a pretty similar to an outfit that an American would have recognized as a "Regal Pirate Captain" Halloween costume, but being Japanese, Ranma had no such familiarity; to him, it just looked good.

'You clean up good, you sly dog... wonder what everybody else is wearing?'

Spurred by that thought, Ranma inhaled deeply before bellowing at the top of his lungs, "All hands on deck!"

The echoes bounced off off the interior of the Stormbringer all the way to its hull, and it was only moments before the rest of Ranma's motley crew began to join him in the galley.

Perhaps unsurprisingly, it was Kodachi who reached him first, and even Ranma found himself taken aback by the sight of her in her chosen outfit. A floor-length, sweeping gown, paired perfectly with dress, skirt and petticoat, decorated intricately in crimson and black whilst adorned in rose designs; the very image, even to a less than culturally clued-in Ranma, of a gothic princess, complete with a long, traditional paper fan adorned with black roses.

She smiled at Ranma, saying nothing, but content to let her appearance speak for itself as she swept gracefully over the floor to stand at his side.

Shampoo was next, and couldn't have cut a sharper contrast to Kodachi if she'd tried, with her two-piece, skin-tight bikini and bestial body parts giving her at best a "tribal" look. She advanced briskly towards Ranma, melting away mid-stride to be replaced by her cabbit form, which covered the ground in a few huge leaps before hopping nimbly onto Ranma's shoulder. She balanced there like a parrot, somehow radiating smugness despite her feline face, and Ranma absently reached up to scratch her under the chin.

Then Nabiki and Ukyo arrived, side by side, and the contrast couldn't be clearer.

Nabiki had gone for a dress; not as ornate or regal as Kodachi's, which made sense given she was supposed to be a servant (albeit an important one), but still one that flattered her feminine charms. It was a surprisingly modern looking outfit, the kind of thing Ranma honestly would have expected to see in a fancy shop window back in Nerima; backless, form-hugging, falling into twin-layered pleats above her high-heeled shoes. Offset by a black rose in a flower holder in her hair and an ornamental golden chain wrapped around Nabiki's slender waist, it was a less than subtle reminder that Nabiki was perfectly capable of pouring on the charm if she felt like it.

She cast Ranma a smirk, and Ranma instinctively swallowed, unable to take his eyes off of her for a moment before he forced himself to look at Ukyo.

The bifauxnen chef had gone for a more masculine approach to her clothes for this little gambit; not to the extent of binding her chest to pass as a male, but the elegant white jacket and black pants, combined with her wrapped-back hair, gave her more of a well-kept professional look than the flauntingly feminine apparel of her counterparts.

She smiled shyly at Ranma, who smiled back and nodded in approvingly, watching as she visibly brightened in joy at tht small gesture and feeling a sudden sharp stabbing sensation in his gut at the response. He didn't have long to dwell on it, however, as the last three members of the crew joined them in the galley.

All three were dressed similarly, in long, flowing dresses that were clearly well-made, but not as ornate as Kodachi's. Ryoga was scowling thunderously; evidently, there had only been so much Harumi could do with the dress he'd chosen, because the buxom blonde looked like she had been poured into her dress. Ranma almost bust a gut trying to hold back the laugh at his rival's expression, and quickly shifted his focus to the two native-born recruits of the crew.

Harumi was a sight to behold; hair brushed until it gleamed in the light, wearing an unadorned dress in tropical pinks and crimsons that popped against his pale skin, it hugged his figure in such a way as to scream 'womanly' even despite his lack of anything approaching a bosom. Shining hair that spoke of hours combing, a deft touch of makeup and several golden bangles on his wrists completed the ensemble. Despite knowing full-well the truth, Ranma could see in an instant why most people would take one look at the Femille swordsman and instantly believe him to be a girl.

But Harumi only had eyes for one person on the crew; Miriam. With how short her hair was, there wasn't much that the wotan could do to make it look nice, but she'd brushed and combed it within an inch of its life. She'd forsaken her trademark anchors, and her long-sleeved dress was cut just right so that it could soften the less than conventionally feminine aspects of her build. It couldn't hide them completely, but the way it draped around her body drew the emphasis to hip, breast, face and rump, especially with the tailoring that had been done to let her tail slip through. Its patterning of sea-green decorated with foam-like designs of silvery-white called to mind the ocean, and blended perfectly with her own bluish-green skin. She'd even added some earrings - silver and golden fish skeletons, her one accessory. The half-shark giantess looked unusually shy, but at the same time, not unhappy with being seen in such attire.

It took a moment for Ranma to realize they were all staring expectantly at him, and he coughed to cover up the realization. "Well, you all went full out!"

"Why, thank you, Ranma darling; you look impressive, too," Kodachi purred, reaching out to gently run a hand over his chest.

Ranma's skin instinctively crawled nervously at the touch, but he kept himself from jumping; the previous night had actually been helpful in desensitizing him to being touched, at least a little. Doing his best to look authoritative, he drew himself up and looked at them all. "Okay, quick recap; who are we?"

"Lord and Lady Kuno, the rulers of the Black Rose Kingdom," Kodachi crooned blissfully, grabbing Ranma's arm and holding it tight in the style of a Western bride.

"Your housekeeper, meaning I run the female staff on your behalf," Nabiki declared happily, shooting a mischievous grin at Ryoga.

"Ryoga and I are your handmaidens," Harumi declared, since Ryoga was sullenly refusing to speak.

"I'm your bodyguard," Miriam proclaimed.

"And Shampoo is beloved family pet. We go now?" the cabbit asked bluntly.

"Sounds like we're all ready... okay, let's go - we should be pulling into port shortly anyway," Ranma declared.

Without further ado, the Kamikaze Pirates swarmed onto the deck, and took their first look at Sukumvit Island's main port in the bright light of day.

"Wow... now this is a port!" Ranma muttered, taking in the virtual forest of masts and sails that filled the nearby horizon, the Stormbringer only just on the outskirts of the port.

"Well, it would be unusually filled today, under the circumstances, but I must agree that this is clearly a nation with a thriving naval presence - and I don't mean in the sense of the World Government's dogs," Kodachi interjected.

"Look at them all - so many flags bearing crowns... this Lord Commodore Sukumvit must really be important," Ukyo marveled.

"Sukumvit Island was a thriving mercantile powerhouse when my mother was a child, and around the time I was born, they decided to forge closer ties with the World Government by formally allying themselves with the Navy. The island is home to a naval training base and barracks, which probably helped fast-track the current Lord Sukumvit to his rank," Miriam interjected.

"So, what's the plan, oh fearless leader?" Ryoga drawled, folding her arms over her chest.

"Umok, find us a place to anchor near the edge of the harbor; we don't want to be too close to the fireworks, and we'll want the quickest route to the sea once we're ready," Ranma ordered, glancing over his shoulder at the imp.

"Aye-aye, captain," Umok replied flippantly from where he was manning the wheel.

Ranma's tongue flicked across his lips, sparking the taste of salt from the spray in the air. He glanced at his crew, and stiffened his spine; there was no turning back now. It was do, or die, and he had no intention of dying here!

Once anchored...

"Very well! Our first order of business is to secure transportation to the party; no noble worthy of their name would be seen simply walking to and from a party, after all," Kodachi declared merrily.

"Makes sense, but where do we find such a place?" Ryoga grumbled from where she was bringing up the rear.

"Why, that is simplicity itself - we ask!" Kodachi cackled, before marching boldly over to a random bypasser - in this case a hulking, tattoo-adorned bruiser, probably a local dockworker.

This behemoth of a man, who towered over Kodachi and had to outweigh her by at least threefold, glanced up at the small teenage girl. Scarred lips curled back from chipped, tobacco-stained teeth in an unfriendly grin.

"Yeah? Whatcha want?" he rumbled in a voice like a surly grizzly.

"Simply directions to the nearest stagecoach company, my good fellow, and I'll leave you to your business," Kodachi declared primly, meeting his eyes without the slightest hint of fear.

Ranma unconsciously began to limber up, readying himself to teach a painful lesson in politeness, but it turned out that he needn't have bothered. With surprising grace, the brutish-looking bruiser simply pointed up a nearby street.

"Best stagecoach in town is Richmond & Sons. Follow that street two blocks, it's the third on your right," he replied in the same ominous tone as before.

"Thank you, sir," Kodachi replied, already turning and sweeping back to join them.

"Have a nice day," he called after her, his tone not having changed inflection in the slightest.

Smiling proudly, Kodachi linked her arm around Ranma's and led the way, the unresisting heir to the Saotome School following in her wake and their entourage sweeping afterwards.

Shortly afterwards...

"Of course, Lord Kuno! We would only be honored to provide transportation to Lord Sukumvit's manor!" genuflected the store manager. He was a tall man, spindly save for a pot belly that his formal suit was buttoned tightly over, somehow shabby despite the obvious quality of the garment. He had hands that looked as big as small shovels at the end of his noodle-thin arms, with a head that seemed too big for its spindly neck. A bulbous nose hung over a large, elegantly cared-for mustache that forked sharply off to the side, evidently the focus of his tonsorial care given the thinning strands plastered to his greasy scalp. Despite his wheedling tone and obsequious manner, his sunken eyes and large, sharply angled eyebrows gave him an impression of perpetually scowling at the world around him.

This impression only deepened as he glanced past Ranma and Kodachi to the rest of the Kamikaze Pirates... focusing in particular on the towering form of Miranda. "So, that will be one coach for your lordship and the Lady Saotome, and one for your staff... whilst that will have to run along behind-ga-hahahak!"

The man's words dissolved into pained whimpers as Ranma's hand lashed out like lightning, forefingers and thumb latching onto his nose like a vice and leaving him teary-eyed in pain.

"That is my retainer... She is a loyal part of my household and is due her respect... Do you understand?" Ranma asked in an icy tone, his words emphasized by the sound of cartilage audibly crunching in his merciless grasp.

The store manager whimpered and whined, yelping in pain before suddenly howling as Ranma sharply twisted his nose, nearly wrenching it out of its socket. "Y-Yes, Lord Kuno! I understand! I'm sorry, I'm sorry!"

After a final disdainful look, Ranma let the abused appendage go, watching as the sniveling storekeep slapped both hands over his now bright-red nose.

"Th-Three carriages it is, Lord Kuno! I'll be right back!" groveled the man, who scurried away as fast as he could, moving with all the grace of a drunken scarecrow.

"Jerk," Ranma muttered, watching him leave, before he realized what he had done. "Sorry, Kodachi..."

"On the contrary, Ranma darling, I'm most impressed. I had no idea you could muster that sort of casual cruelty - you truly will pass as a member of the nobility," Kodachi chuckled softly.

"...That doesn't feel like much of a compliment," He muttered in response.

Shortly afterwards...

The stagecoach ride was surprisingly comfortable. Though Kodachi naturally took this opportunity to hold as close to Ranma as she could get, she was content to simply sit at his side, and the sound of the wooden wheels clicking on the cobblestones lulled them both into a relaxed state.

Though it probably helped that they had their disguised chaperone to keep things innocent. Fortunately for Ranma's sanity, apart from trading her perch on his shoulder for one in his lap, Shampoo seemed perfectly content to live and let live.

It almost came as a surprise when the stagecoach suddenly came to a stop and their driver's voice echoed from the roof.

"We have arrived, milord!"

"Hey, thanks-" Ranma instinctively began, only to be cut off by Kodachi, who nudged him in the ribs with her elbow as she drowned him out with her own authoritative cry.

"Very good, driver! You are dismissed now!"

"As you wish, milady."

The door swung open, and the two stepped outside, getting their first look at Sukumvit Manor. It was a Western-style edifice, a towering mansion of white marble and stained glass, yet even to someone as uncultured as Ranma, it was clear that the structure had stood for many years. Even from here, the sounds of music and general good cheer could be heard emanating from within.

Ranma glanced back at the rest of his crew; most of them were emerging from their own carriage, whilst Miriam had been forced to ride in a repurposed cargo wagon - even with his little 'lesson', the reality was that a four meter tall mini-giantess just did not fit into a stagecoach built for regular humans. Without the need for any words, they fell in behind him and Kodachi as Shampoo perched back on his shoulder.

Kodachi authoritatively wound her arm around his and led the way, with Ranma obediently following her lead; as she had brought up all those days ago, this was her world. They marched straight up to the doorway, which was guarded by a pair of men wearing Navy marine uniforms.

"Halt! Identify yourself!" they boomed as one, rifles tucked against their shoulders.

Ranma instinctively began planning how to snatch those rifles away and beat them senseless with their own weapons, before Kodachi spoke up.

"I am Lady Kodachi Kuno, Crown Princess of the Black Rose Kingdom! With me are my husband, the Prince Consort, and our staff - we demand entry!" She boomed, eyes colder than ice as she stared down her nose at them, the full weight of Kuno arrogance settled around her like an armored mantle.

"Pass, your highness!" the two immediately proclaimed.

Ranma could feel the triumph radiating off of Kodachi's skin like heat from a furnace, even though outwardly she appeared icily indifferent. The Kamikazes swept across the door, and into the mansion's interior.

The inside matched the outside; white marble, expensive-looking polished wood, and glittering crystal proliferated. The sound of music was stronger than ever, and now they could make out voices, albeit somewhat dimly. As one, they headed for the music, the sole exception being Ukyo, who fell back and split off in search of the kitchen, where she would integrate herself into the waitstaff.

Through an open set of doors, they found themselves in the heart of the party; people dressed in the most extravagant fashions surrounded them, gossiping, laughing, eating and drinking. Tables groaned under countless platters of foot, whilst musicians played soft accompaniments from a raised dais at one end of the hall.

Kodachi deftly flicked open her fan to cover her mouth, allowing her to whisper instructions to their party. "Ranma darling, you come with me; the rest of you, mingle. Remember, we strike when the explosions trigger, which should give us time to scout things out first."

A subtle chorus of nods, and the Kamikaze Pirates split apart, drifting in various directions. The one exception was, of course, the camouflaged trio of Ranma, Kodachi and Shampoo, who instead paused for a moment to drink in the atmosphere of the place.

The room itself was a light, airy, spacious hall, well-lit by sun shining in through glass windows and with a few subtle candelabras adding to the illumination. The mood was positive and upbeat; musicians played at the far corner, and the people there mingled with a genuine sense of wanting to be there. Those attending were invariably well dressed, but not to the most outlandish extents that Ranma had been kind of picturing, based on vague, dream-like memories of brief snatches at history books and the odd manga.

"Gotta admit, this is a lot tamer than I was expecting... reminds me of that one party I attended at the Picolet Estate," Ranma muttered to his faux-wife of the day.

"This is a more sedate celebration, but there are still undertones and nuances even here," Kodachi cautioned him. "For example, what do you notice of the guests?"

Ranma hummed in surprise at the question, before turning his steely gaze on the ever-shifting crowd. A few moments later, he answered, "Looks like there's two broad groups here... young folks like us, and old farts. There's more girls in the youngsters group, and more guys in the geezers group..."

"Exactly. Our man, Baron Sukumvit, is unattached, remember? So there will naturally be plenty of young women here hoping to win his affections - or, failing that, the affections of other eligible men. And thus, whilst there are definitely other young men of desirable lineage here, this has become a natural flocking ground for older bachelors, particularly those who are... shall we say, gilding the lily?"

"That some kinda code for 'trying to pretend they ain't old 'n' ugly'?" Ranma dryly asked.

"Your words, not mine," Kodachi demurred, but the smile on her lips made it clear she agreed with the sentiment and approved of Ranma's method of expressing it.

"Any advice, then?" Ranma muttered, giving a sidelong glance at some guys who were shooting envious glances his way, a fact that made something in the depths of his subconscious twitch.

"Just relax, darling. We are here to mingle, and mingle we shall. There will be plenty of time for work after we have had our fun," Kodachi cooed her assurance, before playfully tapping him on the chin with her fan. Thus done with her 'chastisement', she led him into the social whirl.

With Ukyo...

Whilst Ukyo had never been in the mansion before, it wasn't hard to find her way to the kitchen. Just follow the chain of waitstaff flowing back and forth from the main hall. Taking a moment to steel her courage, she pushed through the doors and into pandemonium. The kitchen was bustling, with cooks frying, boiling, basting, baking, roasting and otherwise hard at work, whilst other servants bustled around picking up trays, bottles and other culinary bric a brac for the main hall.

"You!" Bellowed a thunderous voice.

Ukyo bit back a scream, nearly leaping out of her skin. Heart hammering inside of her chest, she whirled frantically to face the source of the outburst. "Muh-Me?!"

Said source was a stern-looking middle-aged woman; not necessarily unattractive, but her choice of haircut (twin braids curled up atop the head like a pair of giant snail shells) and the sour look on her face were doing her no favors. Clad in the white outfit and towering hat of a chef, cradling a bottle in one muscular arm, she stomped towards Ukyo.

"What are you standing around like an idiot for?! Get this bottle of Sauvignon Blanc out to the wine table, and hurry!" she barked, thrusting the bottle into Ukyo's arms.

"Sir yes sir!" Ukyo yelped, already spinning on her heel and jogging off.

"I'm a woman, dammit!" thundered the chef from behind her, before the swinging kitchen doors cut her off from Ukyo's sight.

'Well, scratch that plan to mingle with the staff. But there's no better excuse than carrying a bottle of liquor for why a waiter might be roaming the halls... hmm... I wonder if this Commodore creep has an office somewhere near here...'

With Miriam...

The wotan strode gingerly across the hall, trying to avoid causing an incident by stepping on anybody important.

'I never thought I'd actually be grateful to be smaller than a proper giant for once... At least I just need to worry about crushing feet, not people!'

Of course, no matter how much care she took, she still stuck out like a sore thumb, so of course the gossip inevitably began to flow.

"What is that thing?" one noblewoman muttered to her companion.

"Shut up, it might hear you!" Her companion winced.

"Goodness gracious, whatever is this world coming to when a horror like that is allowed to walk amongst decent people?" sniffed a short, portly matriarch.

"And such a tacky outfit! Is it a woman or an okama?" mumbled her companion, a whippet-faced young woman who bore a resemblance to her older counterpart, despite being head and shoulders taller than her and skinny enough that she couldn't have been more than half her weight if Miriam was feeling generous... and she wasn't.

'...Wow. I wasn't expecting much of a welcome, but these rich jerks are even bigger assholes than I was expecting. Well, that'll just make it all the more satisfying when we rob the pricks... now, what's on the menu?'

She cut through the crowd like a shark through the surf, homing inexorably in on her target; the buffet table. Looming over the plates, she fought down the urge to rub her hands in anticipation.

'Don't drool, don't drool! Mmm... I know I promised myself I wouldn't make a scene, but a little snack before our robbery won't hurt, right? Ooh, butter-broiled rock lobster!'

Forgoing such niceties as a plate or cutlery, she grabbed one of the slipper-sized crustaceans, lifted it to her mouth and chomped down, biting through shell and flesh in one mighty crunch. Two, three more bites and it had vanished into her mouth. Her cheeks bulged as she masticated her meal, then she swallowed it down in one mighty gulp. She panted softly for air, eyes half-shut in bliss as the taste washed over her tongue, which momently slipped out over her bottom lip in pleasure.

'Oh, yeah, that's the stuff! Mmm, what else is here..? Ooh, I like the smell of that roast chicken!'

With Nabiki...

"Yes, with the recent lifting of the embargo on goods from Alabasta, I stand to make a tidy profit - everyone else pulled out during the civil war, but not me! I knew it would all blow over, and I'll make a mint from my foresight!" Bragged the man, who was still quite attractive despite the way that age had turned his hair silver - maybe it was his somewhat vulpine features, those always being regarded quite fondly in Japanese society.

"Oh, please, tell me more," Nabiki purred around her glass - carefully chosen for its non-alcoholic contents. She subtly shifted her pose, giving her new 'friend' a better opportunity to stare down the canyon of her cleavage, which he immediately accepted.

"Yes, it's been quite a pickle to the market with Alabasta at war with itself, but the Navy finally sorted everything out, as I knew it would. By the way, where is that blonde companion of yours...?"

"Oh, you mean Yoiko? Why, she must have wandered off! Oh, dear, I'll have to go and find her, the poor girl has always had such terrible problems with directions, ta-ta!" Nabiki cheerfully announced, deftly swerving her way around the man and sauntering off.

Once she judged herself to be a safe distance away, she held up the bulging wallet she had snatched out of his pocket at Kachu Tenshin Amaguriken speed, smiling like a shark... no offense to Miriam.

'Well, this little trick of Ranma's might actually pay for itself in the end... I couldn't have done that back in Nerima. Let's see what other little goodies I can find to pad my cut of the loot, hmm?'

She drained her glass in a single swallow, placed it on a waiter's tray as they bustled past her, made the purloined wallet disappear into her purse, and slunk off in search of her next victim.

With Ryoga...

"Why, hello there, beautiful... would you care to dance?" Purred the nobleman, a middle-aged man trying desperately to present himself as still having the seductive energy of a young man, despite his balding hair and small potbelly.

Ryoga didn't bother looking him in the eyes as he flatly replied, "No" and then walked briskly away.

'...Maybe I should have come as the butler...' Ryoga mentally grumbled to himself. Or herself. Kami, this was confusing... All of the confidence the newly minted sexshifter had possessed earlier in his decision to attend the party as a girl was starting to erode.

Firstly, there was the outfit; the way it hugged her newly minted breasts just felt /wrong/, especially when she moved too fast and she could feel them moving... which only intensified the feeling of fabric rubbing places it really shouldn't be rubbing, because it felt so weird!

Secondly, there was the attention she was getting. Kodachi might have been able to break down the social hierarchy surrounding the eternally lost girl, but Ryoga didn't know or care in the slightest. All she knew was that she'd been hit on four times in five minutes, three times by guys old enough to be her dad.

'Bunch of lousy perverts... oh, no, not another one!'

This new nobleman to step forth looked like a corpse; short and portly, with unhealthily pallid skin that shone with a greasy complexion to match the gel in his dank, matted black hair. Thick lips wobbled in a perpetual pant in a jowly face under eyes surrounded by bags so deep and dark he looked as if somebody had already blacked both of them, more than once.

"Heh-Hello, cutie... are you seeing anyone?" He asked, his voice thin and almost panting, sending a shudder down Ryoga's spine.

'Ugh, goddamn, and I thought nobody hear could possibly be as bad as the old pervert! Though, I suppose, at least none of these creeps and weirdoes have tried to grope me...'

A sudden touch of greasy, sweaty palm against her wrist shocked her out of her thoughts and back to reality, where the nobleman was leering at her, clutching at her supple, girlish arm.

"Why don't you come and talk with me? I'm sure we can have some fun together... eh-heh, eh-heh..." he chuckled in a sepulchral drawl.

Ryoga simply stared at her would-be suitor (assailant). Unconsciously, her fingers curled into a fist, ready to launch themselves into the creep's face in a haymaker that probably would have resulted in their head parting way with their shoulders.

"Doctor Lorre, I see you haven't changed," came a sudden voice from out of Ryoga's line of vision, warm and friendly, yet somehow also commanding in tone.

The creepy man holding Ryoga's arm flinched, releasing the sexshifter as if her skin had burned him.

"Buh-Baron Sukumvit! I-I wasn't doing anything..." he wheedled, rubbing his hands together and slinking backwards.

"I'm sure you weren't. Now, why don't you scurry off? The lady and I were about to have a conversation," purred the voice from right behind Ryoga at this point.

The apparent doctor promptly did as he was told, and Ryoga turned to face her unexpected savior. He was tall, but young; maybe twenty three, and surprisingly handsome, with elegantly styled blonde hair and deep blue eyes. His was a face that Ryoga recognized instantly, as it had been plastered all over the news article that had led them here.

"Thanks, though I could have handled him," Ryoga muttered.

"Oh, Doctor Lorre is mostly harmless, he just has an eye for attractive young women," the young nobleman and Naval Commodore assured him, teeth bared in what would have been a very winning smile if Ryoga was at all inclined to think of guys that way.

"I appreciate it, but I really should be going," Ryoga said, trying to withdraw, only for Baron Sukumvit to keep pace with him.

"So quick! Might I at least know your name before you go?" He chuckled warmly.

"...Yoiko. My name's Yoiko Hibiki," Ryoga told him in response.

'Stupid Nabiki...why do I have to use a fake name? I don't care that 'Ryoga' sounds weird as a girl's name!' He briefly mused angrily to himself.

"A lovely name for a lovely woman," the young Commodore announced, completely straightfaced and still smiling. "And what brings such a charming young thing to my island?"

'How do I get out of this one?! Somebody, help me!' Ryoga mentally pleaded.

With Ranma, Kodachi and Shampoo...

"The Straw Hat Pirates were seen at Alabasta?"

"Had the good fortune to stumble across the Foxy Pirates as they were enacting some quaint pirate custom called a Davy Back Fight - part contest, part carnival. And there I was just passing by with a hold full of carnival food to sell them!"

"More mysterious disappearances near the Florian Triangle, I hear!"

"Rumor has it that the Princess Vivi was slumming it with pirates during the Civil War - the scandal of it all!"

"Strange that the Navy hasn't revealed which dastardly pirate was behind the Civil War in Alabasta. Impel Down's too good for 'em, I say!"

Scattered fragments of conversations washed over Ranma and Kodachi as they moved through the crowd like a pair of alligators slinking through a bird-infested swamp; alpha predators going unnoticed amongst their oblivious prey. It was surprisingly dull, and Ranma was about to suggest to Kodachi that they take a moment to enjoy themselves at the buffet table when his wannabe-wife suddenly giggled, the sound bringing him up short.

"What is it - uh, dear?" He asked her, remembering at the last moment to add some kind of endearment.

She wordlessly gestured with her fan, and Ranma followed the motion, only to have to stifle a smirk behind his hand. "Hah! I knew Ryoga was asking for trouble!"

"And yet his misfortune may be to our advantage; that's Commodore Sukumvit. What do you say, beloved? Shall we rescue the oaf?"

"Yeah, why not? I think he's had enough..."

The two pirates strode briskly across the floor to where their genderbending crewmate was being accosted, with Kodachi taking the verbal lead once they were close enough.

"Yoiko? What are you doing, girl?" she demanded authoritatively.

"Ah! Koda- I mean, muh-Mistress Kodachi!" Ryoga yelped in shock, stumbling over the appropriate terms of address.

Ignoring him, Kodachi focused on the Commodore and curtseyed graciously to him. "Forgive my handmaiden, Lord Sukumvit; I assure you that she will be punished for her impertinence..."

"Nothing of the sort! Your handmaiden and I were having a delightful little conversation," the Commodore assured her, his handsome face easily shifting into a winning grin.

"In fact, I was about to invite her to walk with me through the family hall of trophies; perhaps you would care to join us as chaperones?" He suggested playfully, beckoning towards a passageway out of the main hall.

Kodachi glanced over at Ranma, who gave her a subtle nod in return. Both had, ironically, hit upon the exact same chain of thought; this might be a chance to scope out some valuable plunder when they were ready to kick things off seriously. Taking the lead on Ranma's decision, Kodachi curtseyed once again.

"If it wouldn't be too much of a bother, your lordship; we have heard many great stories of the family Sukumvit's trophy hall."

The Commodore uttered a genial chuckle at Kodachi's words. "I'm sure that whatever you heard was an exaggeration, but it is no bother at all. Just give me a moment to see to the other guests first..."

That said, he turned and beckoned to an individual standing ramrod straight and motionless over by the musicians. His gesticulations evidently meant something, as the stranger nodded and then took out a conductor's baton. At his motions, the band struck up a livelier tune, and the crowd of guests began pairing up to dance.

Smiling proudly at his efforts, Lord Commodore Sukumvit turned back to the disguised pirates. "There we are; that should discharge my hostly obligations for a while! Shall we go?"

Although he acted as if his invitation were extended to them all, it was obvious to anyone with eyes that he was focused on 'Yoiko', even going so far as to offer her his hand to lead them to their destination.

Ryoga stared at the nobleman's hand as if it were a live snake, barely holding back her disdainful expression. Then she glanced past him at her ostensible employers, who were staring cold-blooded murder at her. Repressing a sigh, Ryoga reluctantly accepted the Commodore's hand, gritting her teeth as he used it to twin his arm around her own.

"Shall we be off, then?" Kodachi asked, mildly.

"Let us be away; I have much to show you all," Baron Sukumivit replied, before leading them in the direction of the doorway he had indicated before.

With Harumi...

The crossdressing 'handmaiden' pricked up his ears as the band struck a livelier tune. 'Finally! I've been waiting for this since we got here!'

He smiled eagerly in anticipation, only to then realize he was being approached by a young, shy man, possibly around his own age.

"M-May I have this dance?" he asked, with surprising hesitancy for somebody clearly of noble birth. He looked shyly at Harumi, waiting for an answer.

'Hmph. I wonder how eager you'd be for a dance if you knew the truth. But... you seem nice enough, so I'll be nice too.'

"I'm sorry, but I'm promised to another," Harumi replied, smiling gently, before slipping gracefully around the downcast nobleman and sweeping as quickly as possible towards his true target. It certainly helped that she was easy to spot.

By the time that Harumi reached Miriam, the wotan had taken a platter of several dozen sausages, covered them with slices of cheese presumably originally meant to be eaten with little crackers, and then doused the whole mess in several kinds of sauce. It was an oozy, gooey, greasy mess, one that made Harumi's mouth water and the part of him that cared about his clothes wince.

'How's she going to eat that without dirtying her dress?' he couldn't help but wonder.

He got his answer when Miriam grabbed the platter in both hands and lifted it into the air over her head. She craned her face back, opened her mouth wide, and tilted the platter, sending sausages coated in half-melted cheese and sauce tumbling down into her mouth in a series of controlled avalanches. Teeth biologically engineered for sawing through turtle shell and shredding through seal bone scythed through the softness of her protein-packed snack, each bite reducing her mouthful to shredded goodness that disappeared down her gullet with a single mighty swallow. In a couple of gulps, the platter was empty, and she sighed contentedly before casually dropping it back onto the table whence it came and licking her lips heavily to chase down any stray morsels.

"Lady Miriam...?" Harumi softly asked, doing his best to stiffen his spine as he gave a shyly hopeful look up at her face, trying not to look like he was ogling her in the process.

The wotan visibly started. "Who - what - Oh! It's you, Harumi," she sighed in relief as she looked down at her crossdressing crewmate. Then she blushed as she realized what must have happened.

'Oh no... don't tell me you saw me pigging out like that...? I mean, okay, we eat together normally, but this is different!' She mentally wailed.

"Are you enjoying yourself, Lady Miriam?" Harumi asked lightly. 'Be strong, Harumi, you can do this!'

"Eh, this isn't exactly my kind of place, but the food's decent," Miriam replied noncommittally. 'Weird... why are you so nervous? I thought we got on fine? Wait... no, no, it can't be...'

Her traitorous stomach quivered as her nerves twinged, forcing the wotan to desperately stifle a belch.

'This is it, your only chance!' Harumi mentally scolded himself. Taking a deep breath, he fixed his gaze on Miriam and tried his damndest to feign confidence.

"May I have this dance, Lady Miriam?" he asked, bowing formally as best he could and trying to hide the litany of pleas echoing in his skull from her observation.

Miriam stared at him, dumbfounded. '...Holy crap. The captain wasn't joking. But... but WHY!? Why me?!'

As the seconds ticked past in their little bubble of silence, Harumi's smile grew more brittle, the hope in his eyes visibly guttering like a candle flame in the wind.

"I...I'm sorry. Forgive me," he finally sighed, hanging his head and turning away. '...I should have known better. What would a woman like you want with the likes of me?'

"Wait!" Miriam blurted, impulsively reaching out and grabbing Harumi by the shoulder. He looked up at her, shock and hope mingling nakedly on his face, and she blushed.

"I mean... I would like that, Harumi. If you really want to dance with me?"

"My lady... nothing would give me greater pleasure," the smiling Harumi assured her. He extended a hand gently in her direction, and she timidly took it as best she can. Then, despite the size difference, the human led the wotan onto the dance floor, smiling broadly up at her even as he gently guided her through the steps of their dance.

Did Ukyo find what she was looking for?

'Okay, gotta be quick; I couldn't be more obvious without trying...' Ukyo mentally warned herself. She'd closed the door to what was clearly the Commodore's study in order to give herself some more privacy, but even so, she could feel the clock ticking, every second echoing in the beat of her heart.

Ironically, there wasn't really anything of note in this study. Nothing immediately valuable stood out; this room seemed to have been dedicated entirely to business, with a bookshelves bulging with officious-looking tomes and a desk covered in paper-work. It could have passed for almost any management-type's office, apart from the pseudo-17th century aesthetics.

However, two things on the Commodore's desk caught Ukyo's eye. The first was a small book that looked very much like a martial art's instruction manual; unadorned save for a simple title that read "The Art of Moonwalk", and which had almost been obliterated by a massive crimson stamp mark of "RESTRICTED!"

'Well, that's obviously coming with me... huh, what's this?'

The other thing of interest was a Log Pose - only, this one had a differently colored glass bubble, and a name written on it; "Hannabal". It was sitting next to a letter which had been largely covered by the manual, and whose contents Ukyo quickly scanned.

"Intelligence reports signs that the denizens of Hannabal are preparing to host another of their notorious Dead End Races. Held at an irregular yearly interval, this pirate tradition of no-holds barred races for a final impressive prize always attracts large numbers of pirates, and this contest looks to be no different, with rumors of a particularly impressive prize. Your first mission as Commodore will be to take your forces and intercept this Dead End Race. Whilst any pirates you can sink or capture will be doing the Navy's work, your top priority is to pursue rumors that the traitor Gasparde will be in attendance..."

'Okay, I don't know what this is all about, but I think Ranchan will want to see this. Yoink!'

Snatching up the letter and what was now obviously an Eternal Pose, Ukyo concealed them inside her jacket as she had done with the manual, then retrieved her bottle of wine and quickly left the study before anyone could find her.

Meanwhile, with Ranma's little group...

The Sukumvit family trophy hall was not what Ranma or Kodachi had expected it to be. More than anything, it resembled a rather morbid menagerie, with skulls, horns, fangs, claws, antlers, mounted heads and stuffed animals lining the hall in a grisly collection of every kind of beast, monster and creature imaginable.

"I must say, Lord Commodore, the stories truly did not do your collection justice," Kodachi observed politely.

"The Sukumvits have a long, proud tradition of being masterful hunters and beast tamers. We have brought down some of the fiercest creatures and individuals across the Grand Line," the young aristocrat boasted proudly.

"Individuals?" Ranma interjected, unable to hold the question back.

"My great-great-grandfather, Baron Charavask Sukumvit, began the tradition of hunting pirates who wielded the powers of Zoan type Devil Fruits, arguing that they were the ultimate quarry, a tradition that has been passed down through the family to myself," the young Commodore explained, his attention focused on the largely-disinterested 'Yoiko' still at his side.

"Oh, really? Does that mean that you have Devil Fruits in your trophy hall?" Kodachi asked, trying not to sound too excited at the prospect.

Ranma, Ryoga and the disguised Shampoo all perked up as the realization of what Kodachi was implying swiftly sank in, all turning as one to their 'host'. All four disguised pirates, including Kodachi, then had to hide their disappointment when Baron Sukumvit shook his head.

"Alas, whilst those originally were the prize of our collection, when I took up the Navy's colors, I made the decision to donate them to the Navy's cause so they could be granted to worthy officers. But fear not, for my collection still contains some remarkable legacies - look at this, for example!"

He gestured to one admittedly quite impressive stuffed animal; the taxidermied remains of a towering black-furred equine. Its shoulders leveled out at a point nearly a foot past Ranma's head, and even in death its skin rippled over muscles like boulders and sinews like corded ropes. Whilst none of the Kamikaze Pirates present could be called devout equestrians, this had obviously been a strapping specimen of its breed in life.

"Quite an impressive beast... a stallion like that must have required a true master to break," Kodachi politely announced.

"Too true, Lady Kuno, but I fear you are slightly mistaken as to what this creature is," Commodore Sukumvit gently corrected her.

Annoyance flashed briefly over Kodachi's face, before she turned to the taxidermy and studied it, an action that her companions repeated. As their eyes drank in all the details instead of briefly skimming past, tehy realized what their 'host' was getting at.

"That's no horse - that's a donkey!" a dumbfounded Ryoga blurted out.

"Correct! A Grand Line Diablo Burro, to be precise. They're a species of donkey native to the New World, though there have been small colonies sighted here in Paradise. Their strength, their endurance, and their intelligence are the stuff of legend; they are some of the fiercest riding beasts known to man! Why, it's said that Diablo Burros are so proud and aggressive, they actually hunt for prey rather than grazing like their lesser counterparts!"

The four sneaky pirates all looked at the stuffed beast with renewed respect.

"But that's only our penultimate prize - perhaps my family's greatest treasure lies here," Commodore Sukumvit bragged, before leading them over to a locked, glass-fronted display cabinet.

Intrigued by his words, the four Kamikaze Pirates peered inside. Laying on a cushion of red velvet was the remains of what had once been a double-edged straight-bladed longsword, in the European style compared to the katanas that they were personally more familiar with. Its blade, which had been fashioned from metal whose coloration of dark greens and shadowy black formed a pattern of wildly curling thorny vines, lay in pieces. Its guard, which had once proudly resembled a rose flower, had been bent and broken. Its hilt had been sundered clean in half, its bright green silken wrap hanging on as shredded threads, and even its golden rosebud pommel had been squashed half-flat.

"Blooming Garden. That was its name, before my grandmother, Baroness Natasha Sukumvit, brought it down. In life, it was considered one of the 21 Great Grade Blades of its era, a selection of some of the strongest and most well-crafted swords in the world. A shame its user insisted on battling until it was destroyed," Baron Sukumvit announced, looking genuinely distressed by the thought.

Kodachi, on the other hand, was staring rapturously at the blade, with an intensity in her gaze that had Ranma shuffling nervously. He was spared the potential embarrassment of trying to coax her back to reality again when Ryoga suddenly began to shuffle from foot to foot.

"I-I'm sorry, Lord Commodore, but I desperately need to powder my nose. May I please be excused?" The genderbent pirate pleaded, in a rare display of femininity for him.

Three pirates immediately thought as one; 'Where the heck did Ryoga even learn that phrase?'

"Oh, but of course!" The nobleman replied, untwining his arm and freeing "Yoiko", who immediately swept off as fast as she could go without actually sprinting, leaving in her wake a slightly awkward silence.

Kodachi coughed genteely. "Anyway, where we were, Lord Sukumvit?"

How's it going with Harumi & Miriam?

They were the oddest couple on the floor; the tiny little human beauty, and the towering fishwoman. Even figuring how how to fit together with such a size disparity had taken a little ingenuity on their behalfs. Still, as they twirled across the hall, the human leading and the shark following, they only had eyes for each other.

"Are you having fun, Miriam?" Harumi asked gently, looking up at his dance partner as best he could.

"Honestly, I was never much for dancing back home... but this is different," the wotan declared, smiling blissfully.

"I feel like I could do this all day... I hoped, but I never dreamed you'd say yes to me asking!" Harumi confessed to her.

"Well, I never dreamed you'd ask me," Miriam replied with a self-deprecating chuckle.

Harumi made a soft noise of confusion, brow furrowed as he took in his dancing partner's words. "...Why wouldn't I ask you?"

"True, I suppose with all the other women on the crew either being engaged or being guys, I was kind of left by default," Miriam conceded matter-of-factly.

Harumi promptly kicked her in the shin, making the wotan flinch instinctively. Miriam directed a confused look down at her dancing partner, who returned an indignant expression.

"I'll have you know I wanted to ask you out even before the rest of the crew came clean about their engagement! As far as I'm concerned, you're the most beautiful woman on the ship," Harumi told her, never once breaking the lock between their eyes.

Miriam's cheeks flared as she blushed in embarrassment. "I never knew you could lay it on so thick," she forced a chuckle in an effort to try and defuse the tension.

"I meant every word," Harumi passionately assure her.

The musicians suddenly shifted tempo, calling for a new kind of dance and bringing a momentary end to their conversation as they fumbled to match the new style. Once the dancing had resumed, though, Miriam relaunched their conversation.

"How long have you liked me?" she bluntly asked him.

"Since we first met on Femille, easily," Harumi immediately shot back, allowing her to twirl him around in a piroutte.

"Wait, seriously?" A startled Miriam blurted out.

"Well, it's not every day that a gorgeous amazon sweeps in to your rescue, not once but twice, even storming into your family estate and tearing down the walls of your cell to get you... that sort of thing leaves an impression on a guy," Harumi giggled, daintily circling his much larger partner.

"...So, the way I look really doesn't bother you?" a confused Miriam finally demanding, pushing on to the proverbial elephant in the room.

"What's to be bothered by?" Harumi breezily responded.

"Uh, everything? Not only am I not human, I'm not exactly a supermodel even by wotan standards," Miriam bluntly responded.

"Human women are overrated. Believe me, I know," Harumi replied, a dark shadow briefly crossing his features. He shook his head and then chipperly continued.

"As for the rest of you... whilst 'you have a wonderful personality' may be a cliche, in your case, it happens to be true. I've never met a woman as kind or as gentle as you... but, at the same time, you're strong and authoritative, fierce and tough - everything a woman should be, on Femille! As for your looks... you are way too hard on yourself. The tail and the fins are cute, and your colors are so exotic! The teeth are... okay, they're a little scary, but it's the good kind of scary, you know? You got muscle, yes, but it's just enough to contrast the curves, not to dominate the whole... and speaking of curves... I'm sorry to be so crass, but what's to complain about there? You are a *lot* of woman, lady Miriam..."

"Yeah, and not all of it in the good places," the blushing wotan muttered.

"Honestly? I think a little belly on a girl is kind of cute. You wear it well. Besides, as far as flaws go, loving food the way you do and enjoying a hearty belch are deep into the 'mild' end of the scale. I could tell you horror stories about some of the girls I knew on Femille..."

Miriam shuffled nervously, both at the affuse praise and the distant, dark expression now covering Harumi's face. "...You really like me, don't you?"

"I've only been flirting with you the whole time we've been sailing together... Honestly, I was worried that I was coming on too strong," Harumi admitted, and now it was his turn to look uncertain.

Miriam giggled at his expression. "So... where do we go from here?"

"Well, that largely depends on you. We can either end it all with this dance... or, if you like, we can see how things develop at whatever pace you set," Harumi replied, shrugging his shoulders and trying to appear more nonchalant than he actually felt.

Miriam grinned. "In that case... I think we should talk some more, back on the ship. Maybe you'll join me in a barrel of rum?"

As she watched, Harumi seemed to light up, smiling blissfully up at her. "I'd like that a lot..."

As for Ryoga...

'If there is one bit of good luck I can claim, it's that at least I've never been so lost as to be stranded away from a bathroom,' Ryoga privately mused, lathering her hands up with cold water and soap. Then she heaved a mighty sigh of frustration.

"Now how am I supposed to get back to the dining hall? With my lousy sense of direction, I could be wandering the halls for hours!" she lamented to herself.

"Oh, dear, we can't have that! Would you like to come back with me? I'm done here," a voice suddenly spoke up from behind Ryoga.

"Yeee!" Ryoga let out a girlish squeal of shock, fingers curling into warding symbols as she spun on one heel to face whoever had snuck up behind her... And then she stopped and stared, dumbfounded at what she was seeing.

'...Holy crap, I think I just found Tatewaki Kuno's dream girl!'

It was a rather tasteless thought, but Ryoga could be forgiven for thinking it given that the young maiden she was staring at could almost literally have been described as resembling some strange fusion of Akane Tendo and Ranma Saotome's female form. Facial features strikingly reminiscent of Akane's were shaped into a kindly smile beneath a mane of crimson locks that had been carefully sculpted into twin braids that ran down her shoulders. A petite yet shapely body sculpted with a gymnast's grace was adorned with a backless, tightly fitting dress adorned with flame patterns of orange and gold against a black background, hugging her curves and making it impossible for anyone to mistake the wearer's femininity.

It was then that Ryoga realized that the stranger had been talking whilst the genderbent martial artist had been staring, and a mortified blush colored the eternally lost girl's cheeks.

"I-I'm sorry, could you repeat that? My mind was elsewhere," Ryoga pleaded, casting her eyes down in humiliation at her rudeness.

The strange girl took no offense, instead smiling warmly. "I said that I need to go and meet up with my sister, so if you like I can take you back to the hall with me?"

"Could you, please? I'd be most grateful," Ryoga gushed, instinctively bowing to her in a gesture of politeness.

"Hehehe, no need to make such a big fuss of it! I was going back there anyway! Come on, then!"

And with that, the two strange girls left the washroom. They had only gone a few meters down the hall when the redhead suddenly spoke up.

"By the way, my name's Akasuki! What's your name?"

"Oh! Ah... R-I mean, Yoiko! It's Yoiko Hibiki," Ryoga replied, stumbling over the unfamiliar lie.

"Yoiko, huh? Pretty name..." Akasuki commented.

"Oh! Ah, y-you really think so?" A blushing Ryoga mumbled, scratching the back of her head.

Shortly thereafter...

"And here we are, the main hall once more. I hope I haven't bored you too much with my little trip down memory lane," Commodore Sukumvit gave a short, soft laugh of self-deprecation as he gestured grandly around the party.

"Not in the slightest, Lord Commodore - we found it most fascinating," Kodachi assured him, covering her mouth and letting out a soft, genteel version of her usual laugh in response.

"And perfect timing; there's your handmaiden, dear," Ranma commented flippantly.

"Why, so it is! But... who is that with her?" Kodachi murmured softly, staring at the shockingly familiar and yet alien redhead striding along beside her transformed crewmate nee underling. Then she realized Ranma was gawking in shock, and discretely jabbed him in the ribs with her elbow. It snapped him back to his senses, but he still gave her a dirty look in response.

"Ah, that would be my personal assistant, Chaser Akasuki," the Commodore observed, even as the two young women rejoined their little party.

The redheaded stranger threw a snappy salute, clicking her heels together - which was made more impressive considering she was wearing nearly six-inch-high stiletto heels.

"Reporting for duty, sir!" She announced proudly, a smile on her lips.

Then she glanced over at Ranma and her whole demeanor changed, her happy yet professional mien melting away into a doey-eyed, blissed out mess. She clasped her hands together like a smitten woman and zipped across the floor to stand next to a startled Ranma, who instinctively reeled back.

"Oh! What a cute little bunny!" she squealed in delight, making all four Kamikaze Pirates and her Commodore wince at the ear-piercing tone she hit.

"Oh, she's adorable! Can I pet her? Please? Please?" She gushed to Ranma. Without even waiting for a reply, she reached out to touch Shampoo, with the freaked-out cabbit quickly repositioning herself on Ranma's shoulder to stay out of her reach.

"Chaser?" Ranma blurted out, confusion and a vague sense of warning pushing him to ignore his plan of letting Kodachi handle all the talking.

"Why, yes! My big sister and I were just assigned to work together under Commodore Sukumvit," Akasuki boasted proudly. Glancing around, she lit up before standing on tiptoes and waving.

"There she is now! Sister! Sister, come here and meet some nice people!"

Ranma's premonition of doom only deepened into an awful sense of clarity as a figure emerged from the whirl of bodies... a figure he recognized instantly. Clad in a slinky, thigh-slit dress that hugged her ample curves and which had been styled to resemble a crashing wave, which complemented the white-streaked green of her flowing hair, a woman who could have been the identical twin sister of Kasumi Tendo approached them, a fan clasped in either hand like a dagger.

"Akasuki, what have I told you about being too forward?" Chaser Kioyshi sighed in mock reproach, a faint smile adorning her lips as she engaged in an old joke with her sibling. And then she caught sight of who Akasuki was actually speaking of.

It was, Ranma would later reflect, almost funny in a morbid way to watch as Kiyoshi's face flickered through a virtual kaleidoscope of emotions. From good humor to intrigue, then from inquisitiveness to contemplation, before finally settling on alarm and then outrage. With impressive speed, she snapped into a fighting stance, fans extended and their edges glistening with a steely light.

"Treachery! Commodore, sister, get away from them!"

"What is the meaning of this?!" Commodore Sukumvit demanded, staring at his underling.

"Those two aren't guests, sir! They're pirates!" Kiyoshi barked, the clamor drawing shocked and inquisitive stares from all within earshot.

"What?!" yelped Akasuki, who leapt over to her sister's side.

Rolling her eyes, Ryoga leaned close to Ranma and whispered to him, "So much for your brilliant scheme..."

"Ranma-darling could hardly have expected her to show up here, of all places!" Kodachi hissed indignantly to the eternally lost girl.

'Ah well, nothing for it; time to fall back on Saotome Plan #1...'

Ranma dramatically folded his arms over his chest and laughed his most arrogant laugh. "You found me out! But it's too little, too late, you not-Kasumi!"

"Kiyoshi! My name is Kiyoshi!" screamed the indignant green-haired navy captain.

Ignoring her, Ranma continued, "I am Captain Ranma Saotome, of the Kamikaze Pirates! Surrender now, and nobody gets hurt!"

"Is this for real?" the Commodore suddenly interjected.

Ranma stopped dead in his tracks, staring at the nobleman turned naval officer in blatant confusion. "Um...what?"

"Are you really a pirate? Are you really trying to hold up my birthday party? Where are your crew?" The Commodore demanded. This would have been understandable enough, except that the aura that the man was giving off was not one of rage, or even fear, but rather of an excited, even ecstatic, child.

'What's with this guy?' Ranma wondered, even as his mouth instinctively moved for him. "Yeah, this is real! My crew are all here, and we're going to-"

And that was when the commodore punched Ranma in the face.

Not that Ranma realized it, not at first. Initially, all Ranma was aware of was a sudden massive impact against his cheek, one so powerful that it lifted him from his feet and propelled him through the air clean out from under a very startled Shampoo. His flight only ended when he hit a table full of pastries and desserts, smashing the legs to splinters and sending food flying, leaving him partially drenched in sweet creams, custards, and other gooey goodies.

"Ranma!" Kodachi and Ryoga yelled in synchronized shock.

"Gotcha, bunny!" Arasuki cried, catching the startled Shampoo as she tumbled through the air.

Groaning in pain, Ranma wiped a smear of cheesecake from his cheek, staring dumbfounded at the man he had intended to rob.

'What the hell?!'

Commodore Sukumvit burst out laughing in sincere glee. "Splendid! Most splendid! And here I was afraid today would be boring! Oh, thank you, Captain Saotome - now, try not to pass out too soon, will you?"

"How dare you do that to my Ranma!" an indignant Kodachi shrieked. She snatched a concealed dagger from a sheathe hidden in her dress and leapt at the Commodore with a blood-curdling scream, only for the smirking nobleman to swat her aside with a backhand that sent her flying across the room, bouncing off of a nearby column.

"Kodachi!" Ranma screamed, shock, fury and concern bursting up from within unknown crevices of his soul.

Before he could even move, the Commodore seemed to literally blur into existence above him, eyes gleaming with cruel joy. Ranma's instincts screamed at him, and he backflipped away as fast as his aching body would allow - and even then, the commodore's raking fingers came within a hair's breadth of grabbing him, slamming into the table hard enough to leave a fist-sized crater in the marble beneath.

Commodore Sukumvit laughed joyfully. "Splendid! You may actually give me some real amusement! Oh, please, don't die too quickly!"

"This guy is nuts!" Ryoga blurted out, then yelped as Kiyoshi's steel-reinforced fan nearly sliced open her face.

"I have no idea who you are, but if you're on a pirate's crew, I'll show you no mercy!" she cried, sweeping with both fans as if they were oddly shaped daggers.

"And you're almost as bad!" Ryoga complained, dodging desperately.

"Kick her ass, sis!" Akasuki yelled jubilantly, before nuzzling the rabbit she was squeezing tightly in her arms, ignoring the distinct noise it was making - the trilling pseudo-growl of a cat fast losing patience.

"Don't you worry, sweet little bunny! That nasty pirate won't hurt you any more!"

"...Shampoo going to enjoy this more than Shampoo should..."

Akasuki stopped, blinking in confusion. Lifting her head, she stared dumbfounded at the animal she had rescued, its strangely feline face curling into an eerily human smirk.

"Is not your fault. You just have face of someone Shampoo want to punch..."

Before the startled redhead could react, Shampoo had twisted around and delivered a double mule-kick square to the girl's jaw, sending her tumbling backwards and causing her to throw the cabbit zoan into the air. Nonplussed, Shampoo twisted around in mid-fall and snapped from beast form to hybrid form, landing on her paw-like feet with claws extended and teeth bared in a feral grin.

"A Zoan!" Akasuki hissed, spitting blood to the side.

"You not as dumb as you look," Shampoo purred, and then pounced at the redheaded marine. Her claws scythed through the air, but Akasuki nimbly weaved around Shampoo's strikes, before snatching up what looked like a bladeless sword hilt with a snail shell guard from some unknown concealment point on her body.

Shampoo had only a moment to stare in disbelief at her opponent's choice of weapon, before Akasuki thumbed a button in the hilt and the circular guard suddenly spewed forth a blade-shaped tongue of flame, the sudden eruption of light making Shampoo's cat-like eyes sting and causing her to instinctively recoil.

"Where you get that?!" she unthinkingly demanded, only to be forced to leap backwards as Akasuki slashed at her with the burning blade.

"Through fire, justice is served! Ahahahahahaha!" cackled the redheaded marine, who aggressively pursued her former assailant.

Whilst this was happening...

"C'mon, men! We must protect - ugh!" The marine folded in half as Ukyo's knee drove into his stomach.

"Sorry, sugar, but not gonna happen!" she spat, before taking the serving tray she had been carrying and slamming it onto her victim's head so hard that the metal deformed around his skull, sending him crashing to the ground unconscious.

His two companions cried out in a rage, but before they could even move, Ukyo had snatched the bottle of wine she had originally been carrying out of the air by its neck and smashed it against one's temple. Even as he crumpled unconscious amidst a spray of liquor and glass shards, Ukyo used the broken bottle like a dagger to swipe at the last marine. He instinctively leapt back to safety, only to back into a wall. His eyes went wide with horror at the evil grin on the pirate chef's face before her knuckles slammed into his face and left him out cold.

The last one standing, Ukyo paused for a moment, chest heaving as she panted for breath, fist still clenched and smeared with blood from the nose she'd just broken. But despite everything, she was smiling.

"Pretty nice moves there, Ukyo," Nabiki observed, melting out of the screaming crowd.

"Heh, nothing to it!" Ukyo boasted.

"I sure hope so, because we got reinforcements coming!" Nabiki snapped, pointing to where half a dozen more marines were charging the now-revealed pirates.

Ukyo just glared at them, already bringing her fists up to defend herself. "Well, c'mon then! Let's dance, boys!"

With a defiant roar, she hurled herself at them in a countercharge, slamming into them in a whirling ball of fists, elbows, and knees. Nabiki watched the carnage and shook her head in disbelief.

"Good grief... why does Ranma attract so many violent girls?" She mused aloud, smiling as she watched the fun.

"Pirate scum!" bellowed a marine in Nabiki's ear, grabbing her by the wrist after having snuck up on her from behind.

"Hands off the merchandise!" she snarled, whirling around and delivering a Kachu Tenshin Amaguriken-inspired volley of punches right into her would-be captor's crotch. As he collapsed to his knees, white-eyed and sobbing, she put him out of his misery with a spin-kick to the temple.

And on the dance floor...

"If you little shits wreck my dress, I'm going to get really mad," Miriam snarled, lunging forward in a downward punch that sent marines scrambling to safety as she smashed a shallow crater in the marble floor.

She blinked as a lasso suddenly arced through the air and dropped around her neck, followed by two more lassoos. All three ropes led to clusters of marines, who were clinging on for dear life.

"Alright, men, we got her - now bring her down!" Barked one of the men, obviously a sergeant of some description.

"Oh, please - I've been hauling ships for a living since I was a child!" Miriam sneered in response. She snatched all three ropes in her massive fist and explosively surged upright, yanking on the corded lengths of fiber as she went. A chorus of screams filled the air as the marines were snatched clean off of their feet, flying into the air before she snapped the ropes like a poorly-constructed whip, breaking their grips and sending them raining down over the tables of food in a crescendo of splintering wood and splattering edibles.

A disgruntled scowl bloomed on the wotan's face. "Tsk. There was still a lot of good food there..."

"Y-You damn monster!" moaned one of the fallen marines, head firmly buried inside the remains of what had been a large pie, broiled eels smothered in venison gravy wrapped around his face.

"And proud of it!" Miriam jeered. She half-turned, looking for her next victim, and then froze in her tracks.

Whilst she had been dispatching her foes with sheer brute strength, Harumi had been doing the same with deft swordplay. Unfortunately, his piecemeal training had betrayed him; somehow, during the confusion, a massive marine, a barrel-chested, boulder-bellied brute of a man, had managed to snatch the waifish youth up from behind, pinning him in a bearhug that prevented him from moving his arms. This allowed the marine's partner, a smaller, weasel-faced man, to do what he wanted. He buried a brass knuckle'd fist into Harumi's solar plexus, leaving the youth gasping and fighting the urge to vomit, before brutally slamming a one-two-three combo into Harumi's face, the violence of the impact sending Harumi's hair whipping around like a tail as blood splashed to the marble.

A quick biology fact: sharks cannot roar. Or growl. Or scream. Or, well, make any kind of intimidating loud noise. Shark-featured fishmen, on the other hand, are not so vocally handicapped, whether they be pureblooded or mixed-breeds.

"Keep your hands off of my Harumi!"

The brute pinning Harumi in place glanced up, having but a brief moment to process the terrifying sight of an angry wotan looming over him before her palm slammed into his face, the webbed fingers curling into a smothering cloth of flesh that wrapped around his skull so hard it audibly creaked under the pressure. Instinctively, the marine let go of Harumi and tried to claw at Miriam's wrist, but the wotan hoisted him upright, her outstretched arm not even trembling at his considerable weight. The smaller marine saw the writing on the wall and tried to flee, but was too slow as Miriam whipped her first victim around like a club and used him to crush the brass knuckles-wielding marine flat to the floor.

Turning her back on the twitching pile of limbs, Miriam delicately scooped up her crewmate into a bridal-style carry. "Are you alright, Harumi?"

The crossdressing swordsman looked up at her through one eye, the other already swollen shut with a blooming bruise, before turning his head to spit blood off to the side. "I-I got careless...I'm sorry, Miriam..."

"Don't be - you did nothing wrong," she assured him. Then she looked up and turned a baleful eye on those marines who had been bold enough to try and sneak up on her whilst she was distracted. To their credit, they all froze under the icy glare she was sending their way.

"Whereas these assholes clearly want me to get serious!" she snarled, tucking Harumi carefully into the crook of her left arm before thundering towards the panic-stricken marines, fury radiating off of her like chill from an iceberg.

They tried to break and scatter, but Miriam's long, powerful legs ate up the floor between them, and she spun around, using her momentum to power the sweep of her tail. Her vertical fins scythed through the air and slammed into the nearest marine like a fleshy wrecking ball, lifting him and every other marine in their path clean off of the ground before launching them through the nearest window in a crescendo of shattering glass.

"So much for the small fry... but the captain'll have to land the big fish. We gotta keep you safe, Harumi..."

Speaking of Ranma...

'I'm gonna lose this fight.'

It was a shocking, bitter thought, and normally it never would have crossed Ranma's mind. His defiance in the face of all but the most impossible odds was the stuff of legend in Nerima. But even Ranma had his limits, and his father had always been quick to remind him that knowing when you'd reached your limits was part of being a great martial artist too.

'This asshole's too fast - I'm pushing as hard as I can, full-body Amaguriken speed, and I'm still only blocking two out of every three hits, tops! And the hits he lands feel like a pissed-off Ryoga, to boot!'

As if to mock Ranma's train of thought, Commodore Sukumvit blurred into being right in front of Ranma again. Ranma tried his hardest to dodge or deflect, but was unable to stop the one-two combo that hammered his solar plexus, or the right hook to the face that sent him staggering backwards. Stars flashed in his vision and the world spun crazily around him, unconsciousness reaching out to him with insidious tentacles... but Ranma pinwheeled his arms and forced himself to stop, dragging himself back into the land of the living by sheer grit alone.

Commodore Sukumvit laughed joyfully. "You have spunk! Many pirates wouldn't have the stomach to keep fighting after a brief tangle with me!"

Ranma defiantly cleared his throat and spat a gobbet of phlegm and blood on the floor at the commodore's feet. "I ain't yer ordinary pirate... but you ain't the ordinary marine, either..."

"Tch! Hardly. Whilst some dregs may grease their way into a position of importance through vulgar coin or backroom deals, most marines earn their way up the ranks through sweat and blood and tears! I have earned my title of Commodore, and overconfident pirates like you force me to prove that fact!" Sukumvit gloated.

Ranma's eyes flicked from his opponent to the rest of his crew. Ukyo and Nabiki over near the far side of the room, working together to fend off stray marines. Harumi and Miriam on the dance floor, the bloodied Harumi now back on his feet and wielding his swords with a vengeance whilst the wrathful wotan turned a purloined table into a makeshift club. Off to his side, Ryoga and Shampoo were only just holding off the Chaser sisters, whilst Kodachi was slowly stumbling to her feet, clearly still suffering from Sukumvit's attack.

'He's right... I completely underestimated this bastard... crap, what am I gonna do? I'm gonna need a miracle to get outta this mess!'

And that was when a sudden series of distant explosions rocked the manor, causing a chorus of screams and shrieks to erupt from the party-goers who had previously treated the battle between the Kamikaze Pirates and the marines on hand as just another kind of entertainment.

"What the devil was that?!" demanded Commodore Sukumvit, who instinctively turned to face the commotion.

Ranma didn't think, he didn't plan, he just reacted, lunging at his distracted foe at speed that made his battered body scream from the effort, driving a left hook into Commodore Sukumvit's temple with every ounce of strength he had. It was the kind of sucker punch that even Genma would have been a little reluctant to use, yet Ranma took it without hesitation.

The Commodore reeled, momentarily insensate, and Ranma pressed his advantage. A wordless battlecry spilled from his lips, Ranma's emotions boiling over as he launched a double-fisted barrage of blows. His arms burned and his eyes teared with the effort as he rained down hundreds, maybe thousands of punches in the span of seconds. If he'd had the energy to spare a thought, he might have laughed at the resemblance of the scene to a manga he'd read in passing, something about a guy called Jo and his weird crusade, but he didn't have that kind of freedom; the entirety of his being was focused on one thing only: putting this son of a bitch *down*.

With a final defiant roar, Ranma put everything he had into one last punch, sending Commodore Sukumvit flying through the air to a messy crash landing into his massive birthday cake, the impact blowing the legs out from under the table and seeing him crashing to earth in a mass of pastry and buttercream.

Ranma hung there, fist still outstretched, gasping for breath as rivers of sweat ran down his face and matted his shirt around his shoulders. His eyes remained fixed on his fallen opponent, locked on the Commodore's form like a pair of lasers.

"Duh-Did I win...?" he panted to himself.

The Commodore moaned, the sound scraping across Ranma's raw nerves like a scalpel, visibly twitching as he tried to shake off the concussion and rise to his feet.

'What the hell is this guy made of?! Even Ryoga would be out cold after all that! Damn it all, this has gone wrong! No choice then...'

Inhaling so deeply he worried his lungs would burst, Ranma screamed at the top of his voice, "Kamikaze Pirates! Retreat! And don't be polite!"

A startled Ukyo looked up from the marine she was throttling into submission with a miniature towel. "Retreat? Ranchan? Alright, if you say so... you need a hand, Nab-"

She cut herself off mid-sentence as she turned to where Nabiki had been kicking an insensate marine in the balls, only to see a moaning marine and no Nabiki.

"Trust you to know when to run, ya rat!" she jeered on principle. Then she slammed her victim's head into the floor, audibly breaking his nose, before jumping to her feet and running for the door.

"Don't be polite? What's that supposed to mean?" A bemused Harumi wondered aloud.

"It means we're taking the direct approach!"

A table slammed to the floor in front of the crossdressing swordsman and exploded into fragments, the ballistic splinters driving back the marines with startled yelps. Before Harumi could even react, he found himself snatched from his feet, instinctively yelping before he was cut off as Miriam thrust him face-first into her ample chest in mid-stride. One powerful arm curled around him, hugging him tightly to her bosom even as the wotan surged forward.

"Hold on tight!" Miriam cautioned him, even as she charged for the nearest window. Glass and supportive masonry exploded as if a bomb had gone off As she ploughed headfirst through the window, her thick skin effortlessly deflecting the jagged shards... although, alas, the same couldn't be said for her dress.

Not that Miriam noticed, as she hit the ground running, accelerating across the lawn as only a four meter tall woman in the throes of a deep adrenaline rush could.

"How's it feel to serve under the flag of a coward?" Kiyoshi jeered, sweeping her fans and sending a razor-sharp blade of wind lashing towards her foe.

Ryoga flung her arms up in front of her face and grunted as she took the razor wind attack head-on, the attack dissipating as it smashed itself against her Bakusai Tenketsu-hardened skin. It certainly didn't stop her from retorting.

"Lady, I've always known Ranma was a coward! If it bothered me, I wouldn't be on this damn crew!" Ryoga jeered, throwing her arms open wide in what she would later claim was an attempt to flaunt how unharmed she was by Kiyoshi's attack, but was really just her being overdramatic.

Kiyoshi actually paused in her next attack, looking shocked at Ryoga's words. "...Then why do you follow him?!"

"Because nobody's killing him before I do!" Ryoga cried, lunging at her opponent.

Unfortunately, the charge went disastrously wrong as the agile warrior-woman nimbly dodged aside. Ryoga tried to stop, but slipped in her still-unfamiliar shoes, causing her to crash right into a table that had been ladened with small pastries and boiling tea kettles. Sure enough, at least one kettle and probably more went flying, dousing Ryoga in gently heated water, the sudden deluge across his face sending him lunging back up off of the table, spluttering and shaking his head.

'Damn it all! Is this what Ranma has to put up with?!'

By the time he had blinked his eyes clear, he was staring at a dumbfounded looking Kiyoshi.

"I-I can explain!" he tried to protest.

"You're a man!" She cried, jabbing an accusatory finger at him.

Which was when the universe displayed its cruel sense of humor, as Ryoga's dress, already torn and tattered from repeated cutting wind attacks, gave up in the face of being demanded to stretch around Ryoga's taller, bulkier frame and quietly disintegrated into a pile of shredded fabric at his feet.

"You're a naked man!" Kiyoshi screeched, almost hysterical.

"I am not! I'm still wearing underpants!" Ryoga protested instinctively, even though he had also tried to hide said boxers behind his hands.

"What kind of Devil Fruit user are you?!" Kiyoshi demanded.

Ryoga was spared the need to answer when Kodachi took advantage of the Marine Captain's distracted state to smash a bottle of wine over her head, knocking her unconscious.

"You couldn't have done that sooner?!" Ryoga demanded indignantly.

"You couldn't have won your own battle?" Kodachi jeered in response.

"Oh, whatever! Let's get out of here while we still can!" The eternally lost boy snapped.

"Yes, it does seem that discretion is the better part of valor... follow me! I have plans before we go!"

"Sister! You damn pirates will pay for that!" Akasuki howled, lunging for Shampoo with another sweep of her burning blade, only for the cabbit zoan to evade her by leaping upwards with all her might, rocketing towards the ceiling. Akasuki watched with equal parts rage, admiration and surprise as Shampoo landed on a massive crystalline chandelier high above.

Smirking smugly down at her foe, Shampoo sneered, "Send Shampoo the check".

Then she extended her claws and cut through the rope holding the chandelier aloft.

Akasuki yelped and dove for safety under a table as the chandelier hit the floor and exploded into a storm of crystalline shrapnel and boiling wax gobbets. By the time she cautiously poked her head out from her shelter, the last of the Kamikaze Pirates was gone.

'Hard to believe that even a month ago, I never would have imagined doing this...' Nabiki absently mused to herself as she sprinted out of the door towards the nearest stagecoach, leapt onto the driver's seat, roundhouse kicked the driver off and seized the reins herself.

"Hyah! Or whatever they say!" She yelled, trying to crack the reins. Fortunately, the horses seemed to take pity on her, or more likely they were spooked by all the screaming and yelling coming from inside the manor. Miriam stomping her way at high speed towards them through the garden, annihilating any flowerbed or hedge that had the misfortune to be in her path, probably didn't help.

The carriage began to roll away down the road, even as the rest of the Kamikaze Pirates materialized from the doorway, racing with all the speed that only Nerima's top-tier martial artists could achieve. Nabiki instinctively turned her head to yell at them to get on, only to be cut off by the sight of them leaping up in surprisingly synchronized waves, bounding atop the moving carriage with ease.

"You know how to drive this thing?" A surprised Ranma asked her even as he vaulted into the seat next to her.

"Not a clue, but how hard can it be?" she shot right back.

Unfortunately, due to her size, Miriam didn't have a hope of fitting into the carriage, so she was forced to simply run along behind her. Thankfully, even given her small size by giant standards, she was still fast enough to easily keep pace with the carriage.

Surprisingly, their flight went unchallenged; the guards inside the mansion had evidently largely been dispatched, leaving the remainder struggling to contain the panicking guests. And any guards in the city had, as expected, been drawn away to deal with the fact that the entire fleet of naval ships in the harbor was either aflame, rapidly sinking, or both. The end result was that they made it to the Stormbringer without incident.

"You're back early - the fireworks only just started," a surprised Umok observed as they piled onto the ship, which shuddered as Miriam leapt bodily onto it from the pier.

"Long story - let's get out of here! Shampoo, Ryoga, you get to the engine room, the rest of you, man the sails!" Ranma cried.

Several hours later...

"No sign of any pursuit, Captain Saotome," Umok called down from above.

Ranma sighed and slumped against the wheel in equal parts relief and exhaustion. "Thanks, Umok. At least we pulled the get-away portion of the plan off alright... kami, what a damn mess! I screwed up."

"Darling, it wasn't your fault," Kodachi began, but Ranma cut her off with a wave of his hand.

"Yes, it was! This was my damn plan, for my damn ego... I put you all in danger, and for what?" Ranma asked, looking over his crew.

"You hardly twisted our arms to make us follow, Captain," Harumi delicately observed.

"Harumi's right - you gave us all the chance to decide, and we chose to raid. Besides, it was working just fine until it turned out we'd picked a target who could actually fight worth a damn," Miriam added.

"Besides, it wasn't a total loss," Nabiki and Ukyo chimed up, before stopping and looking at each other in mutual surprise.

"It wasn't? How you think?" A confused Ranma asked, slowly walking over to the two of them.

"Well, you mostly wanted a reputation boost out of this, and invading a Commodore's home on his birthday, punching him out, beating up all his guards and then getting away scot-free is certainly going to do that," Nabiki explained.

"Plus, I made sure we didn't come away entirely empty-handed," she added proudly, opening her handbag and revealing the collection of fat, berie-stuffed wallets inside of it to the now-assembled Kamikaze Pirates.

"Wow, not a bad haul, Nabiki," Ranma commented, sincerely impressed, then flinched lightly as Kodachi let out one of her trademark laughs.

"So, it seems great minds think alike - I too took a trophy for my troubles!" She bragged, before showing them the contents of a pouch she had strapped to her hip.

"...Issat that busted sword from his trophy hall? Why'd you bring back a thing like that?" A confused Ranma asked, looking askance at the glittering shards of green metal.

"Humiliation, mostly. But at the same time, I felt... compelled to retrieve it," Kodachi noted.

"Well, check out what I scored!" Ukyo bragged, flaunting her take.

"A martial arts manual? Nice! But what's this funny Log Pose?" Ranma asked, accepting it and turning it around in his hands.

"I found it in his study. Apparently, it leads to an island that's going to be hosting this big race - it's some kind of major pirate festival, and there's a huge trophy and bragging rights for the winner!" Ukyo explained.

At those words, Ranma's eyes glittered and he stared at the Eternal Pose with new interest. "Really now? Hmm... maybe this wasn't such a waste after all..."

Chapter End & Closing Notes

And there we are! In my defense, this had to happen at some point; our heroes have abstractly known that the Grand Line was dangerous for a while, but this should really hammer it home that They Need To Improve. Well, the Dead End Race will be next, and this one will be taking quite a slant from canon!

On a different topic... how are folks taking Miriam and Harumi? Do you guys like them? What do you think of their budding relationship - endearing, annoying, boring, obnoxious, what?

In fact... what are your feelings on my including OC crewmates at all...?